Hugs and Kisses!

Rain

I woke gasping for air and coughing to rid my lungs of water that wasn't there. Damn, I finally stop having one dream just to have another! What's with my subconscious and suicide, anyway?!

Apparently I'd dislodged a sensor with my thrashing, as a nurse came running in thinking I had stopped breathing or something. I apologized and explained about my dreams and she reconnected whatever it was. I was feeling really drained after all that thrashing around and fell asleep just as the doctor was arriving to make sure I hadn't pulled any stitches.

I sighed as I checked the last of my traps. They weren't very well built to begin with, so it wasn't too surprising to find this one in pieces. The only one that even attracted an animal, and it broke the trap! I sat down to try and fix it, but I didn't have much hope. Ever since I was run out of the village everything I'd tried had failed. I hadn't eaten for three days and the hunger was almost as bad as the pain that drove me out here.

I heard a rustling in the bushes and cautiously stood and moved towards it. I was shocked to find it was a boar! I looked down at my little knife that I'd stolen on my way out of the village and then back at the boar. There wasn't much chance I could take it with that little thing, but what other options did I have? And it's not like I had anything to lose!

With that thought I broke into a run, straight for the boar. I managed to hit it with my knife before it realized the danger, but I didn't do much damage to it. With a squeal of pain and anger it turned on me with those deadly tusks. The fight was over before it had really begun and I was left bleeding on the ground. Oh well, at least I tried...

I woke and felt my stomach, expecting to be covered in blood. Martha was sitting in a chair next to my bed and noticed my actions. "That's different." she noted. "You're usually trying to make sure you haven't become some kind of neanderthal guy!"

I didn't notice until I tried to reply that I was out of breath. "Did I...scream?" I asked.

Martha nodded, "Yeah, but not as much or as loud as before. Was this dream different?" I nodded and told her about it, and the other one I had before that. "Huh, why do all these dreams end in death?" she asked curiously.

I shrugged, "I don't know. I've wanted to die before, but not lately. Especially now, when I've finally had my surgery! It doesn't make any sense to me."

Our conversation was interrupted by a nurse who checked my vitals and left again. "So, how are you feeling?" Martha asked after the nurse had gone.

I hadn't really noticed until then, besides my panic over the dream. "Sore." I replied.

Martha laughed, "I bet! But just think of it, once you've recovered you can start having fun with the boys like the rest of us!"

I frowned at her, "You know I'm not interested in guys!"

"I'm kidding! I don't suppose you've found yourself a girlfriend yet?" Martha asked.

"I wish!" I grumbled. I could probably get a boyfriend easily enough if I wanted to, but who would want a big hairy guy hanging all over them? It still amazed me, though, how I could attract the guys just by showing a little leg. Now if only that worked as well on girls...

Martha and I talked for a bit, but I was still tired and fell asleep before long.

I slept through most of that day, waking each time from another nightmare. Each one was different, but they all ended in death. A few were from disease or accident, but most were self-inflicted. And, of course, I was a boy in each one!

I could tell Martha was starting to get worried about these dreams. Especially as they continued even after we left the hospital. We were staying in the hotel a few more days after that so I could go in and the doctor could make sure everything was healing up alright before we left. She helped me get settled back in at the hotel and then motioned for me to sit next to her on the bed.

"Emily, do you have any idea why you're still having these dreams? I thought they would have ended by now." she said once I was seated.

I shook my head warily, "No idea. The weird thing is, even though they always end in death, they're getting better. Not a huge amount, but enough to be noticeable."

Martha looked at me weirdly before asking, "How can they be getting better if you always die?"

"I don't know, they just are!" I replied.

There wasn't much either of us could say about that. She kept an even closer eye on me while we were in the hotel room. The dreams continued, and I woke at least once a night from them. I didn't always wake up screaming anymore, though.

Finally, it was time to check out. We went over to the hospital and the doctor examined me and removed some stitches. He was really impressed with how well I was healing. When we were done we still had a couple of hours before our flight. We had lunch and then headed over to the airport. We were early, but that just meant we had plenty of time to get through security and everything.

Once we were finally settled in on the plane Martha said, "How long are you taking off before you go back to work?"

"A couple of weeks. I should be able to get back to work by then. It's not like my work is all that strenuous, after all." I said.

"I hope those dreams stop soon. You're going to need your sleep." Martha said worriedly.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'd love to get a solid night's sleep for once. I've gotten more sleep since the surgery, but that's not saying that much. I was in such bad shape last week from lack of sleep, it was ridiculous." Now that I was thinking about it, it seemed odd that I wasn't more tired. My recovery seemed to be going awfully well, considering.

"Well I'll make sure you get plenty of rest; even if I have to sit on you to do it!" Martha said with a smile. She was taking another week off from work to play nurse, like she'd been doing at the hotel. I'm so lucky to have such a great sister.

We chatted a little more before taking a nap after the plane took off.

"Cowards!" I spat at my comrades' backs. We were supposed to be protecting the village, but they didn't like the odds. There were only fifteen of us, and at least a hundred soldiers intent on burning our little village to the ground. When we got close enough to see what we were up against they threw their weapons down and ran.

Truth be told, I didn't really blame them. But I had been counting on their help to slow the soldiers down so our families could escape. I never had any illusions about surviving. But to die to give our families a chance to escape... That was a death I could be proud of, right? That's what I told myself, at least. And I so wanted to die. My father wouldn't let me give up. I'd tried, but he was vigilant. But he couldn't fault my dying like this. This was a man's death. So I could please us both.

Being farmers, we didn't have many weapons. I gathered up those my comrades had discarded and tried to figure out what I could do with them to buy everyone some time. I got an idea, so I set out the spears that made up our weapons in a line from where I was away from our village. Then I ran back and picked up the first one. When the soldiers got close enough I threw it, and ran back to grab the next one.

By the time I had grabbed it several soldiers were running ahead of the main force after me. I threw the spear and ran back for the next. This continued until I got to the last spear. I'd managed to do enough damage that the entire force had turned aside to deal with me, just as I'd hoped.

I held onto this spear, hoping against hope that I could take down more than one of their soldiers with it. I got far enough ahead of them to get out of sight and ducked behind some bushes. I waited until they had all rushed past me before coming out and stabbing one from behind. He cried out in pain, alerting his comrades. I jerked the spear free and ran again. This time they were right on my heels; there was no chance of another sneak attack.

I ran up a slope and turned to face them. There was no escape now, but I'd managed to lead them well away from our village. Hopefully my mother and everyone else would be long gone by the time the soldiers found them. When it looked like the soldiers would throw their own spears, I charged into them. My spear stabbed deep into the abdomen of one soldier before I was impaled by half a dozen spears...

Screaming in pain, my eyes shot open. I stopped when I realized I was on the plane, and uninjured. Everyone was staring at me, and a flight attendant walked over to see if I was alright. I blushed in embarrassment and looked down at my hands in my lap while Martha explained things to the flight attendant.

"Are you alright Emily?" she asked after the flight attendant left.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "Just another dream." My face was flaming, and a lot of people were still staring at me. Martha hugged me and I buried my face in her shoulder for a moment. Martha kept me involved in conversation for the rest of the flight to distract me.

We kept chatting through the terminal as we searched for our luggage. Martha wouldn't let me pick up any of it myself so all I could do was watch as she dragged our luggage off of the conveyor belt one at a time. She wouldn't even let me get a luggage cart, and left me to stand with the luggage while she went to get a cart herself. While I was watching for Martha to get back I saw a man that looked oddly familiar. He was looking my way at the time, but turned and disappeared into the crowd. Who was that? I wondered. I forgot all about the man when Martha got back and I tried to help with the luggage.

"Uh-uh, doctor's orders!" Martha scolded when I tried to pick up one of my smaller cases and put it on the cart she brought over. I grumbled, but left her to it. I was feeling pretty good, all things considered. It was a little boring standing there while she packed up our bags, but what could I do? She wouldn't even let me drive, but that was just as well since I was constantly shifting around in the seat trying to get comfortable on the drive home.

Martha sent me ahead with the keys to open the door while she started carrying bags in. I was going to hold the door for her, but after her second trip back to the car I was already feeling sleepy. After shoving a flower pot over to hold the door open I went inside and laid down on the couch. I was asleep before her next trip through.

I woke screaming, again! This time I'd died of asphyxiation, thanks to an abusive father. My dream selves have such wonderful parents...not!

Martha came in when she heard me screaming, "You okay Emily?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah," I replied, gasping for air, "I'm okay. I'm glad our parents aren't like the ones I dream about, though!"

Martha shook her head, "Another of those, huh? Your dreams seem to include abusive parents an awful lot. If I didn't know better I'd think there was a story behind that."

I laughed weakly, still trying to get my breath back, "Yeah, our parents definitely don't fit the mold of some of those I've dreamed about! For starters, Mom's the one in charge instead of Dad!"

"True. And they're both so gentle, they'd never be able to live with themselves if they hurt us. Especially on purpose!" Martha agreed.

"That was the hardest part about coming out to them; making sure they knew they weren't responsible for me being this way, or for being too scared to tell anyone about it." I said.

"Yes, I was worried about that at first, but you handled it really well." Martha said. "So, are you ready for dinner?"

"Is it that late already?" I said, glancing at the clock. Sure enough, it was after six! To my surprise, Martha had already cooked dinner and had it sitting on the stove on warm until I woke up.

After dinner we watched a movie and talked for a while before going to bed. I was really tired, but with surgery and my nightmares that wasn't surprising. I woke several times during the night from nightmares, but did manage to get several hours of sleep in.

Martha stayed with me for the rest of the week. She cooked most of the meals and cleaned up the apartment for me. Dilating was easier than I expected. In fact, by the end of the week I was using the largest stent with no pain! Quite a difference from what I'd read about it, but I wasn't complaining. Martha insisted I get some exercise, so we walked up and down the trails. I introduced her to Mandy, who was as uncomfortable around me as usual.

The week was over far too quickly, for either of us. I was feeling almost normal by then, so I helped her get her stuff in her car Sunday morning. She had to be at work on Monday, and she needed some time to get her own house in order before going back to work. Once we had all her stuff loaded in her car we went back inside to talk for a bit before she left.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Martha asked worriedly. My dreams had actually increased in frequency. I had at least four a night, now, and they were still pretty grim.

"I'll be fine. I'm feeling a lot better than I was right before my surgery. Even though I wake up four times a night or more, I'm still not as tired as I was. And now that I don't have to worry about her using them as an excuse to block my surgery, I can talk about them with my therapist. I have an appointment tomorrow after work. Don't worry." I replied as positively as I could. I really didn't feel as bad as before, but I didn't know if going back to work would make that worse or not.

Martha reluctantly agreed. We talked for a bit more, and then I walked with her to her car. We had a bit of a tearful hug, as we'd enjoyed being together for the last two weeks. We normally didn't see each other more than once every week or two, even though we kept in touch by phone and email.

Eventually we parted and Martha got in her car. I waved as she drove away and then went inside. The rest of the day was a lazy one for me. I was quickly getting bored, and I felt better than I had before surgery, so I decided I'd go in to work Monday instead of waiting another week. That was better than staying home and missing having my sister around.

Everyone was surprised to see me at work the next day. Several people expressed concern that I was pushing myself too much too soon, but I insisted I was fine. Truthfully, I was better off than I'd been the last week before my surgery. Despite my many nightmares I didn't feel nearly as tired as I had.

After work I was walking towards my car when I saw a man leaning against the building not far from the entrance. He looked oddly familiar, and then I remembered: He was the man I saw at the airport. That's a weird coincidence. I thought. He was looking right at me when I first saw him, but he turned away as soon as our eyes met. When I got to my car I glanced back at him, but he was gone.

Everything went back to normal after that, mostly. My dreams increased in frequency, and I got less rest, but I was actually less tired. I also noticed a trend in my dreams I hadn't seen before. They were starting to include things I recognized from history. Several of my dreams obviously took place in Egypt, during the time when the pyramids were still being built! I started to get a chill when I looked some things from my dreams up online and found out that those things actually happened. What is happening to me?! I thought worriedly.

I never did mention my dreams to my therapist. And once I started correlating events in my dreams with actual events in history I was scared to. These were events I'd never read about before, so how could I know about them? And then there was the man from the airport. Over the next few weeks I saw him several times. One time was at work again. A couple of times I saw him at my apartment building. And the other times were near stores when I was out shopping. He always made eye contact, and then disappeared.

I didn't tell Martha about the man because I knew she'd worry. And if he wanted to do anything he'd had plenty of opportunities. I did tell her about my dreams, though. We talked about them often on the phone, but we were as mystified by them as we always had been.

The strangeness in my life took a big jump one night when I was out shopping late. I'd finally taken advantage of the fact I didn't have to save up for surgery anymore by going on a little shopping spree. Martha was with me, and we had a lot of fun. We were having so much fun we didn't want to stop, even though we were both tired and foot-sore. So, we decided to take a break and watch a movie, and then shop some more. After the movie we hit the downtown shops. It was getting dark, but that area is really well lit, and there were still plenty of people around, so we kept going. Finally, we decided it was getting a little too late, so we headed back to the parking lot.

We realized our mistake when we got there. Although the downtown shops area was well lit, the parking lot most definitely was not. We were both very on edge as we walked towards her car in the pitch black lot (We'd taken hers because it had more room). We kept looking all around as we went, but we were still taken completely be surprise when a guy with a huge knife suddenly rose up from behind a car and grabbed Martha. Another man came out of nowhere and grabbed both of my arms from behind. I totally panicked!

I was yelling, screaming, and swinging my arms around for a good thirty seconds before I realized two things: My thrashing had thrown the second guy through the windshield of the car next to me, and the man from the airport had grabbed the first man's hand and forced him to drop his knife. After a brief scuffle, he went flying into a wall. "Be more careful next time, my lady." the man from the airport said, and walked away. Martha and I stared at each other in shock, and then burst into tears.

Realizing our attackers could get up at any time, I managed to get control of myself and got Martha into the passenger seat. Once she and our bags were inside I got in and fumbled with the keys with shaking fingers. Finally, I got the car started and got us out of there as fast as I could. When we got back home I led Martha out, leaving our bags inside to get later. After sitting Martha down on the couch I collapsed next to her and burst into tears.

"Emily?" I heard Martha say distantly. She pulled me to her and we cried together for a long time.

We must have fallen asleep like that; when I woke screaming she was still holding me and fell off the couch. "Are you okay Emily?" she asked, lying on her back with her legs sticking up in the air. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight, and she soon joined me. I helped her to her feet and we sat back on the couch.

"I'm...fine." I gasped around my laughter.

"It's not that funny..." she grumbled, which got us both laughing again. It was probably a reaction to what happened in the parking lot, but we laughed until we couldn't breath and tears were streaming down our face.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was five in the morning. "Good thing it's Sunday." I said. Martha followed my gaze and nodded.

Silence settled between us and Martha fidgeted nervously. "Um, Emily..." she began hesitantly, "what happened last night?"

I frowned as I looked at her in confusion, "What do you mean?" I thought what happened was pretty straight forward, if terrifying.

"Well, for starters, who was that guy that helped us?" she said.

"Oh, him." I said, looking down. I'd forgotten that she didn't know about him. "I've been seeing him around since the airport. I don't know who he is."

"What, he's stalking you or something?!" Martha exclaimed.

I shrugged, "I don't know. But if he wanted to hurt me he's had plenty of chances. He obviously knows where I live and work; I've seen him here and there a couple of times."

"Why didn't you say something about him before now?" Martha demanded, obviously mad at me for holding back from her.

"I didn't want to worry you." I mumbled.

"Oh, Emily, what am I going to do with you?" Martha sighed. "You need to tell me when stuff like this is going on. Even if he is harmless, which I'm not convinced of, it's creepy! Who is he, and why is he following you around? I'm glad he helped us, but for all we know he was behind those guys attacking us in the first place!"

"Don't be ridiculous! That only happens on TV. Why would anyone send two men to attack us, and then help us? It doesn't make any sense." I said.

"Okay, forget the mystery man for the moment. How did you throw that guy off of you?" Martha said.

"Huh? What are you talking about? I just panicked and swung my arms around randomly. I guess I caught him by surprise and he fell." I replied.

Martha shook her head, "No, that's not what happened. I mean, you did flail around wildly. But that guy, who was two or three times your size, was thrown a few feet up in the air and flew into that windshield with enough force to go right through it! I know you're not that strong!"

That part of the night hadn't really sunk in before then, and I was left feeling as confused as Martha. "Uh, adrenaline?" I said.

Martha frowned, "I don't know. Maybe." She shook that off and said, "What about what that guy said? Remember; he said, 'Be more careful next time, my lady.' Why would he call you 'my lady' like that?"

"How should I know?!" I grumbled. Then I froze as I finally remembered why he looked so familiar.

"Emily? Emily! What's wrong? You look pale!" Martha said worriedly.

"The first time I saw that guy I thought he looked familiar. I just finally remembered where I've seen him before. You remember the first dream I had?" I said.

Martha frowned in thought, "Uh, wasn't that the one with the immortal guy, and all the weird magical people showing up all over the place?"

I nodded, "Yeah, that's the one. That's where I've seen that guy's face before! He looks just like the immortal guy from my dream!"