Him-Lady or She-Male

Chapter 4 The gang goes shopping.

Guys going shopping is not as fun as girls going shopping!
We get the long version of a quick shopping trip.

Chapter 4

When I got home I called Janice. I knew that she would not be home so early. I left a message that I wanted to go shopping tomorrow with them if it was all right.

Then I called Julie and left a message with her. She was the one that suggested that I go in the first place.

I went to sleep that night thinking that I was not a boy or a girl. I was now the only him-lady that existed. Moreover, there were only nine others in the world for me right now.

The accident made them take away my penis but I still had the mind and rest of the body of a 17-year-old male I felt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning I was up at seven AM waiting for either Janice or Julie to call me back. I was hoping that either one would call me and tell me that I was welcome to come.

As the hours drug on I was getting more and more worried that they did not really mean it. I had just been a fun toy to play with the night before. After all, they were all so beautiful and I was just a 17-year-old kid from the local high school football team. By 10 o’clock, I was miserable. I now knew what girls felt like waiting for their prince charming to call them, which wasn’t me. I promised never to do that to any girl that ever gave me her phone number. I decided to wait until noon and then call every one of the girls that gave me their phone number, just to be polite and say hi, and that I was polite enough to call them back.

By 11 o’clock, I was sure that I was an idiot to think that anyone would ever think that I was even human with the operation that took my penis and left me less than half a man and half a woman. I was crying in my room. I never cried before. Quarterbacks of football teams never cry. I was losing it.

At 11:30 mom stuck her head in my room and said “Julie will be here in about 30 minutes to take you to the mall. You had better get ready Alice.”

I didn’t even mind mom calling me Alice, even if my name had been Alvin for 17 years. I jumped up and said “really?”

Mom never misses anything. “Have you been crying dear?”

“Yes, I have been up since 7 waiting for someone to call and invite me to go.”

“Well as soon as you get dressed, and I mean in something nice. Then we can talk about it. We don’t have time to talk about it right now if you want to still go”

“Yes I want to go. I’ll be dressed in a minute.”

“Alice, you are going out with a couple of the girls, Julie said their names but I don’t remember them. So you had better wear something more than jeans and a t-shirt.”

“I’m not going to wear a dress mom.”

“OK, but not any of you’re old cloths, or I’ll take them away just like I did with all of your other old guy cloths. OK?”

“OK mom I’ll find something.” I said.

That didn’t leave me much of a selection. Most of the cloths that mom had put in my closet were dresses. I had talked her into leaving me two pairs of jeans and four t-shirts. I do not think that I would be able to get out of the house today, as I got out to go to the bar. That left me some shorts to wear.

I yelled at mom’s retreating back. “Mom you had better help me pick something out. I don’t think that I’ll get something that you would approve of.”

As she came back into the room she remarked. “Now that’s more like my daughter. A girl just never knows what to wear.”

I looked at the ceiling and groaned. “OK, just no dresses please and remember that I’m not a complete girl.”

“How about this outfit Alice, It’s not a dress?”

“But mom it looks like a dress. I don’t care if they are shorts, no one would notice it. They look like a short dress to anyone that doesn’t have their hand between my legs to check it out. Other girls might know that it’s not a dress, maybe, but no other guy would. I don’t want another guy checking between my legs to see that it is shorts and not a dress. And I would still look like a fag with short hair in a dress anyway.”

“How about a wig then to cover your short hair?” mom suggested.

“I don’t think so mom.” I said. “How about a nice pair of jeans and a t-shirt?”

“I don’t think so Alice. How about this pair of shorts?”

“Mom it’s the middle of winter, how about jeans and a t-shirt, I know I can look good in those.” I said.

“How about this pair of pants.” She said.

“They would only come down to just below my knee’s mom, and they’re pink.”

“They are suppose to be that way, and I also got you a white pair here.” Mom said.

“The girls would laugh at me mom.”

“OK, if I let you wear a pair of jeans then when you get home, they go in the trash. Do you want to wear them enough to never wear them again?”

That was a hard choice. I might need them at some time in the future that I do not know about. I do not know when that might be, but it is always good planning to worry about a contingency plan around here.

“OK I’ll agree to save the jeans for later. But isn’t there something that doesn’t make me look like a fairy?” I pleaded.

“Nope, not really, you’re just going to have to bit the bullet and wear the white pants.”

“This girl thing is getting harder and harder mom”

Mom smiled and looked at me. “It’s supposed to Alice. Remember that I told you that this would be harder than practicing for football. Aren’t you tough enough to play the game?”

“OK you win the white pants and a white blouse to go with it.”

Soon I was dressed in Capri slacks, a white blouse that buttoned up the wrong way, and a pair of white socks that turned down at the tops with little flowers on them. Then black slipper shoes. If I had a wig, I would look just like a fruit cake.

Mom called up that the girls were here.

I ran down stairs. The girls took one look at me and started to giggle. I stopped and looked at them. Then I turned around, went back up to my bedroom, and closed the door. I wish I had a lock on it right then. I would have locked the door and never opened it. I threw myself on my bed and started to cry in my pillow again.

I heard a knock. Then I heard Julie through the door. “Alice can I came in?”

I did not answer her. I heard the door open and someone come in. I only assumed that it was Julie. Karen said, “Hello Alice, aren’t you going with us today? You can’t go if you’re still in bed like that.”

Someone was then hugging me and I heard Julie whispered in my ear. “Come on and we’ll get you out of the house so that we can get you into some jeans instead.”

She seemed to know exactly what the problem was. “I’m sorry I really am. It’s hard enough having to wear these stupid cloths as it is.”

She was still whispering, “Yes we know, now get up and let’s get out of here.”

Karen said, “Nice bedroom Alice. We should come over some time and have a makeup party with your mom.”

I got up. I then glanced at Karen blocking the door so that mom could not get in. Then I understood. She was covering for me, so that I could recover. “Just a minute, I forgot a sweater.” I jumped up and went to my closet. While there I wiped my eyes dry and then reached in the closet and got one of the white knit sweaters that mom had for me.”

“OK let’s go then, the malls are waiting.” Karen said after she saw that I had recovered.

“Wait Alice, I have some money for you to shop at the mall.” Mom said. I could see her leave from outside my door to get the money.

“That was close Alvin, you have got to learn to be more careful Hun,” Karen said.

Julie then said, “You forgot that you’re Alice in front of your mom, and you’re going to have to ignore what other people do. Just remember that we all love you and are here for you right now. You ok now Alvin? Now let’s get out of here and go shopping. Maybe get you a pair of jeans when you go out with us.”

Mom came back into the room and Karen was out of the way and let her in. “Here is some money for your shopping trip Alice. Remember our deal. You have to get a pair of slacks that zip up the side or back and a silk shirt if you want to go back to the bar next Friday.” I think that she said it more for Julie and Karen than for me to hear.

“Oh don’t worry Mrs. Johnson, we will make sure that Alice gets a pair girls slacks and blouse for next Friday, after all we all want her to look lovely for the guys now, don’t we?” said Karen with a straight face.

I was reminded that they were either much better at smoozing that possible, or the biggest liars in the world.

When I got back down, Shelly and Denise was there, laughing and carrying on as if nothing had happened.

When Shelly saw me and gave a war hoop “Alice is here let’s go shopping now girls!”

Julie and Karen each gripped me by an arm and pulled me toward, and then out the door. Julie opened the back door and they pushed me in and closed the door. Shelly and Denise were already climbing in the other side. Julie was getting in the drivers seat leaving Karen to climb in the passenger side front door.

As soon as we were in the car, they all seemed to calm down. Denise then said, “That was close. I’m sorry that we giggled at you Alvin. But we were shocked at the cloths your mother had you in. I guess that we were expecting you still in jeans.”

“My mom won’t let me out of the house now in jeans. She said I get to wear them one more time and then they are going in the trash.”

Julie said, “We are all going to chip in and buy you an outfit Alvin. That way you can change cloths after you leave the house and before you get anywhere. That way you will feel better going out.”

“Thanks a lot, you don’t know how silly I feel right now.” I said.

Denise said “I think it’s about as silly as we feel in boy’s cloths now Alvin.” As she laid her hand on mine.

I had to think about that. I guess that it was about the same, just the opposite.

“Thanks Denise. I think I do understand how you feel now. Well not right now, but before when you had to wear boy’s clothes when you are really girls inside. Kind of what I feel like right now.”

Denise leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I almost missed Julie say “Don’t worry Alvin, we are going to go and get you some clothes to change into so that you feel better shopping with us. Do you have anywhere you want to go?”

I smiled. “Did you forget that I’m a guy already, hidden in these girl cloths? I never shop. I just put on what ever I reach in and get. Well except lately because I will end up reaching for a dress if I am not careful.”

They giggled at that “Well your going to shop till you drop today Alvin. But if you get tired from your injuries don’t be macho on us, even if you are a little tired, tell us so that we can stop for a while, we are not in any hurry today. We do not want you to overdo it anything. We want you strong and healthy so that next week we can dance you to death.” Karen said.

Julie stopped outside of a men’s only store.

“It’s expensive here, don’t you want to go to Wal-Mart for some jeans for me instead. I don’t think that mom gave me enough money if I get anything here and then try to get what she wants me to get. And If I don’t get what she said, then she wont let me go next Friday.”

“Don’t worry Alvin, you’re a kept man today. Were going to chip in and get you something to wear. And I can’t have you dressing in rags now can we? It would ruin our image of fabulously wealthy women looking for a rich husbands. So you are just going to have to wear something nice for us.”

“Last I remember hearing something like was when mom showed me my first dress.” I said.

After they giggled, I heard from behind me. “Well don’t worry Alvin we don’t want our one and only him-lady looking like a girl now would we.”

****** Shopping Trip ********

We went into the store and I was thankfully that it was almost empty. That is until the salesman came to ask us if he could help.

“Yes please, we were wondering if you could get something for Alvin to wear. He really doesn’t like wearing our cloths anymore.” Karen said, and the rest giggled at it.

The salesman had a sour look on his face for a second and then asked, “Was there something in particular that you wanted to see.”

“No dresses” I said.

The girls giggled.

“We want to dress him in something for night clubbing please,” Denise said coming to my rescue.

“We have some very nice leisure suits over here, if you would follow me please.”

“Alvin, if you do that again, I swear that I am going to get you a pink dress for your mom to dress you in.“ Shelly said.

“What a threat that is Shelly” I whispered “It is almost enough to make me be good for life.”

She punched me on the arm as she passed me by while smiling at me. Then she stopped in front of me, reached up, grasped me around the neck, and kissed me on the lips. “Don’t you ever worry Alvin I would never carry it through with you dear.”

I noticed Julie was right next to me, and looked at Shelly. Then she looked at me, and before I knew it, she was reaching for around my neck. Except that, she took her time and slowly pulled my head down to hers. Then French kissed me for at least an hour. Well it seemed like an hour anyway. Then she said, “That’s number two, I can not let her have all of the fun.”

Denise was right behind Julie and did the same thing. Only she must have kissed for two hours. Karen was last and said “I was only saving the best for last of course Alvin.” then she French kissed me also, at least for three hours.

It was a wonder that I heard the salesman say anything. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you. Would you be kind enough to repeat yourself? I’m sorry I was preoccupied. I take that back, I’m not sorry about being preoccupied, only for not hearing you.”

Karen who had not completely let go reach up and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

Julie said, “Before we get out of hand again, let’s get him into some real cloths so that we can go shopping girls.”

Denise said, “Spoiled sport. What do you have for our boyfriend to look good?”

The salesman said something else, but I was still lost in the ‘our boyfriend’ comment that Denise made.

We started to move again before I noticed that Shelly had taken one arm and Karen the other.

We walked over to what looked like suits. I was wondering what he thought people wore to bars. “Wouldn’t a pair of jeans be better?” I asked.

“Why don’t you three go and find yourself a pair of jeans and a shirt while Denise and I say here and look for your formal wear Alvin? Afterwards we can switch and look with you for you’re second set of night cloths.” Julie said. “That way we might actually get something bought today and you out of those cloths.”

I had forgotten all about the cloths that I was in since the first kiss.

“Getting out of these cloths is the best idea I have heard in weeks.”

I started to pull Karen and Shelly toward to where I had seen the Levis jeans. When we got there, I started to look for my size, and only realizing that I most likely had changed sizes. “I need to get my waist measured again. I’m not sure that I’m the same size after the operation.”

Another salesman had appeared when we had moved away from Julie and Denise, who stayed in the suit area.

Karen asked if he had a measuring tape.

“Doesn’t he know his own size?” He asked

“Well we have had him tied up for a month and not let him go, so he’s not sure if he’s still the same size now.” Karen said, and Shelly snickered.

“Are all four of you ladies really his girl friends?” he then asked.

“Oh no.” Shelly said not to be outdone. “The other six couldn’t come with us today.”

“He must be a real man then.” The salesman said, not giving up.

“Oh we all think that he’s a real pussy, don’t we Alvin.” Denise said while almost busting up laughing.

“Jeans now, physical attributes later Denise, your going to confuse the poor man and think that I’m a girl and you’re a boy next.” I said just to confuse the issue.

The salesman pulled out a tape measure.

Karen said, “Oh, you have to let us do that, we can’t pass up fondling him for any reason now can we?”

Consequently, she took the tape measure, slipped it around my waist, and read off. “34 Waist”

“My turn now” Shelly said taking the tape measure and measuring from my crouch down to the floor “35 pants leg”.

I was glad now that Shelly had done that and not let the salesman near my crouch.

The salesman said, “Yes we carry jeans in those measurements.” He then walked over to a pile and pulled one out. I took them and said “Thank you, can I try them on now please.”

Shelly said, “He’s had his pants off for a month, so he’s just anxious to get some back on.”

“Right this way”

The salesman led me towards the back, until I saw where I could change cloths. “Thank you.”

“I have a question.” The salesman said. “How is it that you have all of these beautiful women as your girlfriends? You only look like you’re about 17.”

“I guess that they just like pussy” I said and ducked into the changing room.

I could not get out of the pants that my mom had given me fast enough. I had the jeans on in about 30 seconds and was walking out of the changing room.

“Oh I feel so much better. I really thank you girls for this. Should we change and let Julie and Denise help with the shirt so that they don’t feel left out?” I asked.

“You are just too sweet Alvin” Shelly said as she reached up give me a kiss.

When she had finished making my world swim I heard “We don’t want to share you Alvin, but I guess that we had better if we know what’s good for you and us.”

Julie and Denise were still looking at suits when we went back over to them.

“I have some pants how about a t-shirt now and then we can go.” I said.

“But Alvin, you can’t just wear jeans a t-shirt all of the time with us.” Julie said, “You would look so handsome in this suit that Denise and I have picked out for you.”

“But I don’t need a suit Julie, I’m just glad to get back into jeans and a t-shirt.” I said.

“Your turn Julie and Denise, Show us which suit you like, and then go get Alvin a t-shirt or two.” Shelly said.

“We were thinking about this suit Shelly.” Denise said. Pointing to one that was already out.

“We’ll get it, you two go get him a t-shirt before he rips that blouse off.” Karen said.

So Julie and Denise each took an arm and off we went to get me a t-shirt.

I headed toward the t-shirts when I felt a tug the arm that Julie was holding. “Alvin can’t we talk you into getting a sports pull over instead of a t-shirt. It would make you look so much more handsome.” Julie said.

“I think so to Alvin, let’s go and just look them for a second “said Denise.

“OK, but can we hurry, I don’t like the looks that the salesmen are giving me.” I said.

“That’s because you are so handsome Alvin. And being surrounded by four beautiful girls doesn’t hurt. So come on it’ll only take a second Alvin.” Julie said.

We were there in no time and she pulled a dark blue one off the rack. “How about getting this navy blue shirt Alvin?”

“Great, I’ll go put it on.”

“While you’re gone, we’ll find you another one also Alvin”. Denise said.

I almost ran to the changing room. I had the blouse off and the sport shirt on in seconds and was leaving.

As I was getting back to Julie, she had her back to me speaking to a salesman. I just heard him say, “But why are you buying for a kid.”

I heard Julie’s response. “It’s like He’s my husband and I’m buying what he needs, even if he doesn’t know he needs it right now. Besides we would fit together so well.”

“Hi”

“Alvin,” She exclaimed as she threw her arms around my neck. “My turn” and proceeded to French kiss me again. I seemed to melt into her arms. They were nice arms to have around me. After a while she stopped.

Denise said, “After you get back trying on that shirt, then it’s my turn for a little kiss too.”

She handed me a light blue shirt, just like the one that I had on, except for the color. “One shirt is fine Denise, It is going to be hard enough to hide just one pair of cloths.”

“You’re not hiding any Alvin, we are hiding all of your cloths so that you will have some. Now go try it on like a good future husband, and come back and suffer through your kiss as a reward.” Denise said.

“Can’t I suffer through my reward first, it’s seems like having wait to suffer through a punishment like that and I would never make it to the dressing room from dieing from a broken heart from the excitement of having to wait.”

Julie said to the salesman “And it makes you wonder why he only has 10 girlfriends that love him so much.”

I did not hear all of that. I already had my lips on Shelly’s in a wonderful French kiss. Shelly’s arms were around my neck and her body pressed close up to mine.

Karen and Shelly came up, as Shelly was finishing with her punishment of me.

“We agree with his suit, so if Shelly’s finishing up we can go shopping now for Alvin for some shoes now.” Karen said.

“Oh I forgot all about his shoes.” Julie said.

“I think that he is going to need some dress shoes to dance in.” Shelly said.

“OK, the shoe store next” Denise said.

“I’ll go pay for all of these, and then we can go to the mall and get the rest.” Julie said.

Julie started toward the checkout and I started to follow her.

“And where are you going big boy?” Karen said.

“I’m going to at least go and help pay for my cloths.” I said.

“Why? so your mom will know that you paid for them and can take them away from you again. We don’t think so! We are paying for them and we are keeping them. Then when you come out with us, we’ll always have a change of cloths for you to borrow lover boy.” Karen said.

“This way, your mom can dress you anyway she wants coming out of the house, and you can change after you leave. Then you will change back before going home and not only will your mom be happy, but we get a free strip show twice a night.” Denise said.

“We all talked it over after you left last Friday. We almost all decided that was a wonderful idea, well wonderful for us anyway Alvin.” Shelly said.

“And those who voted no still said that they would chip in a help with any cloths that you needed.” Karen said.

“So you see Alvin, you have just been out voted nine to two.” Denise said.

“Of course there is a price that you are going to have to pay Alvin, after all nothing is free.” Shelly said.

Denise and Karen looked at Shelly.

“What’s the price?” I asked.

“You have to pay in kisses.” Shelly said. “As many as we want and when ever we want.”

“Oh, yea, right, and don’t forget about the hugs too Shelly. As many as we want and when ever we want them.” Karen said.

Denise, not to be out done said, “The sex part comes later with interest. As must as we want and what ever we want.”

“It sounds like I’ve just been bought and paid for.” I said. “Don’t I get any say in the matter?”

“No” all four of them said at once.

“Alvin, your going to be to busy with 10 girlfriends. You’re just going to have to let all of the girls in your life take care of you now while you take care of them.” Denise said.

I was so unaware. I was so busy thinking and trying to get out of wearing girls cloths that I was not thinking about anything else. I bowed my head. “I am sorry that I was so self centered, I was so caught up in my own problems of getting out of the girls cloths that even with the 10 most beautiful girls in the world around me, I was not considering what an extra effort that you have just gone through for me. I should be so grateful for your time when there are at least 10 guys for each one of you that would move heaven and earth to do anything for you, and I was being self centered and selfish.”

“If you keep that up Alvin, you are going to replace Casanova as the literately lover of the millennium. You know that you make all girls hearts go pitter patter when you speak with love directly from your own heart like that.” Karen said.

“So come here and start paying for you clothes now Alvin.” said Shelly.

“Hurry up and kiss him” said Denise, “We still have a lot of shopping to do today.”

“You can never hurry a kiss with Alvin.” Shelly said as she brought her lips to mine in a very slow and moist kiss of passion.

It must have been an hour later when we stopped kissing.

As we left the men’s store and I was getting in the back seat I saw three salesmen standing at the window watching us leave.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was about three miles to the girl’s favorite mall. They were so excited today. Julie reminded everyone that I had to get the pants and silk blouse today.

I reminded everyone that it was a shirt not a blouse, guys call them shirts, and girls call them blouses.

“As long as they button up on the right side don’t worry about what it’s called Alvin.” Shelly said.

“What do you mean, button up on the right side? They button up in the front.” I said.

They laughed at me.

“Alvin, they both button up in the front, but girls blouse’s button up with the buttons on the left side, and guy’s button up with the buttons on the right side.” Denise pointed out. “So if you find something that your mother has given you doesn’t seem to button up the right way, now you know why.”

I learned some other hidden truth that girls had always kept hidden from the boys. I was learning more and more each hour with my new friends. I mean beside them being great kissers.

**********************************

When we got to the mall I was first out, and opened Julie’s door, then I went around opening the door for the other girls. They were nice enough to wait for me to open it for them, and rewarded me with a quick peck on the cheek. When I got back around to Julie’s door, she also rewarded me with a kiss, and mentioned that I might want to wipe all of the lipstick off my cheek sometime today. It was starting to look like I wore rouge on them.

The first store that we went into was a Neiman Marcus store. They went to the young woman’s section. I followed them. After all I felt better wearing men’s clothing now and not so ashamed. The first salesgirl that saw us came over and asked if she could help.

Julie said, “No thank you, we are just here with our boyfriend today shopping.”

She then asked the others and Shelly was first to say. “No thank you. I’m just here with my boyfriend shopping today.”

And if that was not enough she ask Karen, who, not to be outdone replied, “No I’m just here with my future fiancée today.”

“You know that he can only marry one of us Karen,” Denise said in front of the salesgirl.

“I don’t think that he could marry any of us,” said Shelly, “I don’t think he would have the heart to break the hearts other 9. You know he’s too sweet for that.”

“You’re dating 9 girls at one time?” the salesgirl asked while raising her brows to the ceiling.

I started to say “Not really” before being drown out by all four girls at the same time saying “There are 10 of us”, and “We only know of 10 he is currently dating.” and “He’s such a heart breaker, isn’t he.” and “We are all dating him at the same time.”

Then Karen, who was the closest, reached up and kissed me on the lips again. Shelly then kissed me, because she was standing on the other side with her arms wrapped around my neck. Followed by Denise saying, “See what we mean, our boyfriend can just never stop at one of us.”

I was still flustered and found my arm around both Shelly and Karen after the kisses stopped.

I could only smiled at the salesgirl and shrugged my shoulders. As in ‘what can I say’?

Julie finally found the slacks that she was looking for, for me and pulled them out of the rack. “Alvin, These are the right size, what do you think of these?”

“If they fit then they are good enough for me.” I said.

The salesgirl said, “Those slacks are a little long for you, you might want to look in the next rack, which has shorter legs.”

That must have been the opening line that Julie was waiting for. “Oh, no, these aren’t for me. They are for Alvin. His mom will not let him go out with all us girls again unless he is wearing some girl slacks that zip up the side and a girl’s silk blouse. And you know how us gold-diggers are, we’ll put up with anything to marry him for his money.”

“Alvin, you never told me you were rich,” Denise said while being wide eyed.

“Sure he is Denise, Alvin pull out all of your money and show Shelly how rich you are.” Karen said.

I pulled out the $150 that mom had given me and started to count it out slowly.

“I know that I had me a rich man.” Julie said.

Shelly started to take the money from my hand as I was counting it out until it was all gone. “Well your broke now Alvin, so you girls will just have to leave him to me to marry.”

“You must have some more money Alvin,” Karen said as she started searching my empty pockets. Not exactly for what was inside the pockets as she was rubbing all over on my legs and bum. Obviously, she was looking for more money in each empty pocket. Even though it took Karen a couple of minutes to look in each empty pocket a couple of times, she never gave up.

“Karen, do you want to strip search me to find some more?” I asked.

“Of course Alvin,” Karen said with a straight face to me, and then to the salesgirl “Excuse me, is there a place that I can strip search Alvin around here close by, it shouldn’t take me more than a couple of hours to make sure that I have his last penny.”

Shelly and Denise burst out laughing at the salesgirls look.

“Karen, I know how thorough that you want to be looking for every cent, but I really don’t have anymore money, not even a penny.”

“I know that Alvin, it was the searching that I wanted to do, not finding the penny.”

“Karen, you might just miss something, so I think that we had all better help you when it’s time to strip him.” Denise said.

“She means when it’s time to search you for that penny Alvin” Shelly added.

“I’m sure that was what she meant Shelly, after all I know that Karen would never have any implied motives other than finding that non-existent penny.” I said.

“Alvin,” Karen said, “How can you say that about the girl that you are going to marry? I’m hurt, you have better kiss and make up with me now.”

As Karen was making up, I heard the salesgirl ask, “Is she really his fiancée?”

And Denise replied, “Well not exactly, we haven’t decided which of his 10 girlfriends he is going to marry. But we of course will be discussing it at our weekly Friday night get-togethers with him.”

Just then, Karen had to come up for air so Denise said. “Thank you for warming my fiancée’s lips for me Karen.” She then helped warm them up a little more.

The salesgirl asked, “Aren’t you girls mad as each other for him asking more than one of you to marry him?”

“Oh, he hasn’t asked any of us yet, we’re just giving him a little help with the idea. Then when it does finally get up into that mans head we will already have a head start.” Julie said.

I am sure that the salesgirl looked a little stunned.

“Alvin, you have to try these on for your mother remember.” Julie said.

“OK, where is there a changing room?” I asked.

“We only have a woman’s changing room here, the men’s changing room is over in the men’s department.

“That’s OK, Alvin doesn’t like the men’s changing room. So why don’t I go and see if it’s being used, and if not then Alvin can change there.” Julie said.

“I’m sorry but the store policy forbids anyone but females to change in the women’s change room.” The salesgirl said.

“No problem, Alvin is really a woman masquerading as a man, and so it’s not against policy for women who looks like a man to change is there?” Julie asked in her sweetest voice. “Besides, there are all four of us to look out for him and make sure that he doesn’t do anything that we wouldn’t do.”

Then Shelly, taking her by the arm, “And what no one knows about, no one cares about, And if you didn’t see anything then you couldn’t get in trouble for anything now could you, and could you please help me over here in that isle to look for a jacket for my brother? I’m having such a hard time.”

As the two of them started to walk away, Julie and Karen grabbed my arms and started me toward the changing rooms with the slacks in hand.

Denise came out with a “No ones in there.” And in we went.

I did my best impression of a quick-change artist with the pants, and stepped out to let the girls see me.

Julie said a simple “OK”, while Karen wanted a twirl to see the back also before giving her approval.

I then went back inside and quickly traded again before coming out.

I saw Denise going over to get Shelly, who was still with the salesgirl. I was thankful that the four girls worked together for me like they just did. With all of the teasing that they do back and forth, I understood that they really did care for and look out for each other, and for me too now.

We told the sales girl thank you for the slacks and Julie said that we needed to get the silk blouse at Nordstrom.

As we left, I thanked the salesgirl and said it was fun and she was helpful for an afternoon shopping experience. Her only comment was. “So am I number 11 on your girlfriends list now.”

“I am sure that you are number one on so many guys list that it would be a shame to see you settle for being on any list with more than just one person. And you should be the most important person in the world on that list to them.” After which she just smiled at me, and said “thank you.”