by Closetdrsr

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Chapter Six
 
 
Monday was a holiday. Presidents day. The banks were closed, and I didn't have a paper delivery to get up for.
Susan and I slept to almost eight, when her cellphone started ringing.
"Mom?" she said sleepily
"No, its ok. I'll be home as soon as I can."
"Ok"
"Can I call Mike to come over?"
"Yes Mom"
"Bye".
She rolled over and cuddled some more.
"Guess we're not going swimming today. Mom has to go into work for urgent care patients. Daphne just called in sick"
She put her hand down to my crotch, not finding my penis.
"Oh, no more Mr Nice Guy this morning? But that's ok, lying here together is nice as well"
She had her finger stroking in the opening of the V sheath, which to me felt like she was stroking my scrotum. It was very pleasant. We got up an half an hour later, and she got dressed. I took off the sheath and took a shower, removing the makeup from last night. It looked like I had rings under my eyes. We went past McDonald's on the way back to her place for some breakfast, eggs, McMuffins and hash browns .

When we got to her place, her mother was waiting by her car. I got a "Hi Mike", a "Did Susan make you go pick her up?" and a "Oh you didn't have to get breakfast"
I just nodded and smiled and took the breakfast inside. Susan talked to her mother as she got into the car.Inside, Crystal came downstairs in pyjamas as I was entering the kitchen.
"Oh yummy, McDonalds" she squealed, running to the dining table.
I handed her a plate.
Susan came back in, and we sat down for breakfast.
Afterward breakfast, Crystal went to watch some tv, and Susan and I went up to her room. Her room, I guess was a typical teenage girls room. It had a pinkish wallpaper, with flowers, but most of it was covered in posters of bands and movie stars, and drawings she'd done. I wandered around looking at them as Susan went off to have a shower. At some stage Susan had been into horses, there were are couple of photos of her sitting on one on
her dresser. There was a photo of her and Harry, and another with her and two other girls, who looked like twins. On her study desk was her Chem and Math books, and her math homework. I noted that she had made a mistake on one question, so I circled the error in pencil, and wrote the answer, and then put a little :) beside it.
 

*          *          *
 
I was sitting on her bed looking at one of the magazines from her desk when she came back in. She flashed her towel open as she entered, offering me a full view, then quickly closed the door laughing. She came over and jumped on me, and gave me a kiss.
"Hey, you're still wet" I said.
"Yes...are you complaining?", and she kissed me again.
"Umm, not really". I slipped my hand under the towel to cup her naked buttcheek, giving it a little squeeze.
In response, she nipped my lip with her teeth, and got up and crossed to her dresser, and took some underwear out.
"No peaking" she said saucily
I covered my eyes with my hands, but spread my fingers so as to still be able to see. After she had put on a bra and panties, she opened her closet.
"Wanna check out what I should wear"
I got off the bed to take a look. This is what my sisters closet had looked like. Clothes stuffed on hangers everywhere. In a myriad of colors. She pulled out a couple of skirts. Then a couple of tops. She pulled out a pair of jeans and put them on. She went across to her dresser and took out a black Tshirt with an ETF logo, and a couple of guys on the front.
"ETF?" I asked.
"Yeah, Escape the Fate, cool band" she responded.
She spend another ten or so minutes pulling out clothes and showing me. Some of the dresses were very nice.

She showed me her shoe collection, if you call 6 pairs, not counting her 2 pairs of sneakers, a collection. She pulled out a photo album from the top of her closet, and we sat on her bed as she took me through it. In the beginning, there were a few 'baby' photos, then a few as a toddler, usually with her older sister. There was a couple of her at the beach with who I assumed was her father, and some with her mother and sister, and a baby.
Later there were some school class photos and her on horseback and at Camp Glorieta . Toward the back there where a few of Susan with Harry, and Susan with one of the girls in the photo on the dresser. On the last page were three photos of Susan and I from when I picked her up for the Winter Dance.

She turned back a couple of pages to a photo of her and the girl on the dresser. She was tearing up a little.
"what I have to tell you, is for you only ok. You have to promise me that you'll never tell another person. Ever."
"Ok" I said. "I promise".
"As you can guess, you are not my first boyfriend, or first lover".
"Its ok, I don't need to know about that." I said.
"I need to tell you, its important to me."
I put my arms around her and gave her a squeeze.
"When I was six, I was sexually molested by my father" she hiccupped and wiped her eyes.
"Around the same time, my older sister Cassie was found to be pregnant. He'd been molesting her for almost two years before he started on me." She wiped her eyes again.
"Crystal is not my sister, she's my niece" she said.
"My father pleaded no contest to a guilty charge, and got ten years in prison. He was out after seven, but he was a very different person. Do you know what they do to child molesters in prison?"
"No" I said, "Only what i've seen portrayed in the cop shows on tv"
"Well, thats pretty close actually." she said. "For the first year he was essentially kept in solitary because he was always being beaten up. The second year, he became someones bitch. By the fifth year, he got to like it so much, he became any ones bitch. When he was released a little over three years ago, he'd turned into a real queen, if you get my meaning."
"Oh" was all I could say.
"He doesn't have another family, and I've seen him a couple of times since he got out, but Mom doesn't know that." She hiccupped again.
"He lives in a crappy unit in San Fran. He dresses up as an ugly woman and sucks guys cocks for money and drugs."
She started crying into my shoulder. I held her. It was all I could think of doing.
After three or four minutes, her sobs eased, and she wiped her eyes.
"It's because of him that I use sex to form relationships" she said. "Subconsciously I relate sex to love and need, because that's what he taught me. My sister was different. She closed herself off from boys completely, all through highschool and most of college. Everyone thought she was a dyke, I mean lesbien. But she actually liked boys, but couldn't bare to be left alone with one. Then she met Gunther, and he courted her for two years before she would go on a date with him. I think it took her that long to learn to trust him."

I hugged her some more. She turned the pages back to one of the school photos. She pointed to one of the boys.
"That is Thomas Carmichael. He was in my seventh grade class. I guess he was my first boyfriend. I was 12. We used to kiss and make out behind the sports lockers. He was my first blowjob after my father."
Then she pointed to another photo, of a boy playing football.
"That's Rob Harris, the JV quarterback for the Franciscan Knights, 2 and a bit years ago. He was my first lover. We dated for about three months before he told everyone what a lousy lay I was."
"Asshole" was the first thing out of my mouth.
"He was one of the reasons I left St Francis".
She then moved the pages forward to a photo of Harry, and another photo of the girl on the dresser.
"Harry was the other reason I left St Francis. And so was Ginger". She was tapping the other photo.
She was silent for a few moments.

"Harry was sort of like you" she said, "But also very different."
"What do you mean?" i asked.
She pulled the two photos out of the album so that they where side by side.
"Look" she said
I looked. It took me almost a minute before my brain registered everything. The color and shape of the eyes, the small freckle or spot below the left eye, the same angle of the bottom teeth.
"They're the same person?" I said. "He dressed up as well?"
"Yes, but not exactly" she said. "Harry is Ginger. Always has been, always will be."
After a few minutes, she said
"I'm going to ask you a few questions, hopefully they'll explain the difference between Harry and you."
"Ok" I said.
"When did you start to wear girls panties?"
"About 18 months ago"
"How often did you do that then?"
"Not often, maybe once a month."
"A year ago?"
"More frequently, once every two weeks maybe"
"Just before we started dating?"
"Um, three days a week" I said embarrassed.
"Now?"
I thought about it.
"Um, not as often, really only when you want me too"
"Do you feel guilt or shame after dressing in panties"
"I did when I was sneaking them out of the storage closet. But now, no. They just feel comfortable. I guess I'd be ashamed if someone found out"
"Ok, good. Now, were you wearing panties when you dated, whats her name, umm Kylie?"
"No. I started after that."
"How did you guys break up?"
"Umm, she dumped me, started dating a junior, Richard somebody"
"and you were hurt, right?"
"Yes" i said.
"Ok, now when did you start dressing in more than just panties? like bras and stuff?"
"Umm, about eight months ago"
"Dresses and skirts, shoes?
"late september, so almost 5 months ago"
"First time 'out' dressed up?'
"Late November, when I met Mark in the park"
She screwed up her nose, then continued.
"How did going out make you feel"
"umm, excited, alive, sexy"
"So you liked being seen as a girl?"
"Yes, very much. I was really scared at first. I wanted to be out, but i also didn't want to be seen as a boy dressed up"
"What changed?"
"People I saw didn't look twice at me. I liked the attention. I felt really good."
"You felt desirable?"
"Yes, wanted, and sexy"
"Did you feel that way as a boy"
"Not really, except with you"
"So, when you were out, and I know you met Mark and that other boy in the mall, how do you react?"
"I wanted to be a girl I guess"
"Was it hard to be a girl?"
"Sometimes. Sometimes I wasn't sure what to do, so I just tried to relax. It sort of got easier when I did that. I think I got more confident the more I dressed up."
"And being a girl, did you like when Mark and the other boy paid you attention, compliments?"
"Mark I did, Robert was a jerk."
"You let Mark kiss you when you went on a date. How did that make you feel"
"Gooey"
"Did you like kissing Mark?"
"Not at first, I was nervious about kissing a boy, but I relaxed, and liked it."
"Why?"
"Kissing Mark was completely different to kissing a girl, even you. Mark was more forceful. He's a very good kisser, but he wasn't rough."
"You wanted him, sexually?"
"I don't know, I think if I were a real girl, probably. I certainly wanted more than just kissing"
"And as Mike, do you feel the same way"
"God no! I'm not gay"
"But as Monica?"
"I know, its weird. As Monica, I'd have liked more".
"hmmm, ok. Now, Do you masterbate as Mike?"
"Umm, rarely. I just don't feel right about it"
"ok, how about when you're dressed"
"Sometimes, but not often. I did when I first started dressing. Hence a lot of the guilt, like i was being naughty."
"How about as Monica? Do you masterbate then"
"i guess, but its more imaginery, masterbating as a girl" I hesitated.
"Yes"
"Well, I used a dildo a couple of times"
"orally or anally?"
"Both" I said looking down. Susan just smiled.
"And you were Monica at these times, or Mike?"
"Monica"
"And how did that make you feel, using a dildo?"
"The oral was strange, but sort of exciting. The anal was painful, but also sexually satisfying. I felt content or fulfilled during and in the afterglow of doing it."
"And afterward? as Mike?"
"Disgusted with myself"
"But you did it again?"
"Yes, when I was Monica again"
She lay back on her bed, thinking.
"Do you miss your sister?" She asked.
"Sometimes. Not as much as I used to. I have you now."
"How about your Mom?
"I missed her badly after she died. I've sort of forgotten a lot of things about her.
"Do you think your mother or sister has any influence on your dressing up as a girl. Did you want to be like them?"
"I don't think so. Monica was never very girly, mostly goth punk, wearing black pants and black tops"
"But yet you chose to use her name"
"More for convenience, I had her id card. Initially I called myself Kimberley. That would have been my name if I'd been a girl"
"Did your sister have a lot of boyfriends, was she home or away a lot"
"Well she went away to college, I don't know what her social life was like."
"What about high school?"
"She always seemed to have a boyfriend, especially Junior and Senior years. I can't recall much before that. But yeah, she had maybe four or five serious boyfriends in her last two years of high school."
She was silent for a few moments, obviously thinking.
"Ok last question I think" she said, sitting up again. "Do you see yourself male or female in ten years?"
"Male" i replied.
"Ok, one more, do you see yourself being Monica in 10 years"
"i don't know"
She lay back down again.
"So, how did I do?" I asked.
"Well, actually you're very interesting, and nothing like Harry. Harry, or Ginger wanted to be a girl since he could remember. Was always convinced that she was in the wrong body, and when asked how she saw herself grown up, it was as a woman, as a mother, a wife, even though she knew it was unlikely, even with surgery. She hated the fact that she couldn't express herself as female all the time. She would go to school as Harry, but soon as she was home, Ginger was there. To her, dressing in boy clothes was wrong. She hated it."
"How do you know so much about him, I mean her, you know what I mean, and how did you two get together?"
"Well, actually i met her and I mean Ginger, one day I went out with Cassie. Cassie and Abby, thats Ginger's older sister were friends at Community College. Cassie was doing some psychology classes, wanting to become a counsellor. I think a lot of it was how she got over Dad, and how he turned out, as well as how she dealt with being Crystals mother. Cassie joined a bunch of social groups and thats where she met Abby, who was active in a LGBT group because of Ginger."
"LGBT?" I asked.
"Lesbien, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender"
"Oh ok"
"Anyway, Cassie and Abby became friends and even flatted together for awhile. Thats how I met Ginger. I didn't find out that Ginger wasn't a girl for maybe six months. When I started highschool at St Francis, that was when I found out. All of a sudden, there was Harry. Wanting to be my friend at school. I was confused. Just before I started High school, Dad had been released from prison, so the only context I had had of transgenderism was him, being a homosexual drag queen."
"So what happened?"
"Well, Cassie explained a lot to me, and I started hanging out with both Harry at school, and Ginger after school. To me, I could see they were the same person, and we became friends. People at school thought it was strange at first; everyone had just assumed Harry was gay, and here I was, being his friend."
"But really you were Gingers friend" I said.
"Well, I was both. As I said, they were the same person."
"So why did you have to change schools?" I asked.
"Well, someone noticed Ginger. There was Harry at school, but not at home, Ginger at home, not at school. They figured it out, and the parents went to the school board, and although things were kept on the quiet, it got very messy. The net net, was that Harry had been outted, and the parents forced the school to expel him."
"Christ that's unfair. What had Harry done wrong?"
"Nothing, but being a religious school, the parents took a bigoted high ground. In agreement to keep it quiet, Ginger's mom accepted it. She was a solo mom, widow actually from the gulf war. Ginger moved in with Abby and Abby gave up Community College for a few years to support them. Harry transferred to Chapperal, nothing on his transcript. When mom found out about the bigotry at St Francis, I transferred as well about two months later, and with all the lies that Rob was telling I didn't look back. Anyway, Ginger kept her head down and got good grades at Chapperal, even went on dates with me after school hours as Harry so that the same pattern wasn't seen."
"So you two didn't, you know, have sex?"
"Well, not as boyfriend/girlfriend. Harry couldn't anyway. More of a girl on girl relationship, but only once. Ginger had had an orchiectomy at 16 and had started hormone treatments. By the time she was graduating, she had a nice set of B's, although with binding, no one knew."
"Whats the orchie thing" I asked.
"Oh, Orchiectomy, the removal of the balls. It stops the production of testostrone, so that the hormone treatments are not blocked. Ginger wanted reassignment surgery when she is able to have it, so that meant she had to keep the penis, because they use that to make the vaginal cavity. But she wears a sheath similar to the one you have. It allows for full penetration, not that I expect you to find out."
"So what happened last year, after she graduated? You obviously didn't really break up. And what happened with Abby" I asked
"Well that was a mess up from the beginning. The story that resulted was probably the best outcome, but none of it is true."
"So what happened?"
"Well, you must have heard about Tommy right? Abby's then boyfriend of about two months."
I nodded. "I heard he beat Abby up over something Harry had done"
"Not quite. Did you know that Tommy is Ceecees older half brother?"
"No, I didn't", I said, but i could see some pieces falling into place.
"Well, Abby was off on one of her LGBT crusades, in San Fran. Tommy had been working in Napa doing some seasonal labor all week and came home drunk and high as a kite. Weed I think."
She went over to the dresser and picked up the photo of her and the 'twins'.
"After graduation, Ginger had had her hair done in the same style as Abby's. She had started to go fulltime as soon as high school was done. Even had a job in Kelly's hairdressers on West St. Tommy hadn't been around long enough to have even heard of Harry. Anyway, Tommy came over to the house and fell over in the garden. Ginger went out and help him inside. Tommy was so out of it, he thought Ginger was Abby, and forced himself on her."
"Oh my god" I said. Was it bad?"
"He took her from behind, doggie style over the couch end."
"Oh shit. What happened to her"
"Ginger was hurt. She went into the toilet and cleaned herself up. She had taken the sheath off. He busted in and saw her practically naked from the waist down. You can guess what happened next."
"He beat her up" I said.
She nodded. "When the ambulance arrived, everyone thought it was Abby on the stretcher. Tommy was arrested, pleaded guilty, got a reduced sentence of two years minimum security for his silence. Based on what I hear from Ceecee and all of her 'rumors', he's kept his word and kept his silence."
"How's Ginger now?" I asked.
"Doing fine. She lives just outside of Chicago, goes to Kendal College, studying Psychology. End of next year she hopes to have her reassignment surgery in Canada. She's been back here twice, at thanksgiving and at christmas".
"Well, at least she getting a happy ending." I said giving Susan a hug.
She had stopped crying, and I could see a transformation in her. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted.
She hugged me back, and kissed me, and she had a smile in her eyes.

"Lunch?" she asked.
I looked across at her clock. It was past one o'clock already.
"Sure" I responded.
"But we need to talk about your situation later. Its not complex, but i need to look up some stuff, but when I'm finished I'll give you my thoughts" she said as she pulled me off her bed, and downstairs to the kitchen.
"Yes Dr Susan" I laughed, "But will i live?"
"Undoubtedly, but only with lots of love and attention"
"Oh, I like this condition"

Crystal came into the kitchen to see what all the noise was. She helped with lunch and then sat with us while we ate it outside on the deck. Her friend from next door called her over the fence after lunch, and she got changed and went over there.

After we had done the dishes, we went back up to Susan's room. We cuddled on the bed. I said I couldn't betray her mothers trust and have sex in her house. Susan understood that.

Susan's Mom got home just after four. She offered me dinner, but I declined. I had chicken in the fridge that needed to be cooked, since I'd got it out for the previous night, but didn't eat it. Plus I had some homework to complete.