Well, last night I had one of those occurrences that make me wish I understood how people interact with each other, and I'm hoping you guys will help me.
To make this fun, lets make it a quiz:
A female employee returns to work after an injury, and a male co-worker comes up on her first day back and says with a stammer that he had been praying for her recovery.
Now, is the male co-worker: A: Just being nice
B: Being nice, but also kinda flirting
or C: mostly flirting
You add in the difficulty of the fact that the female co-worker is in fact trans, and you can understand why there is some confusion.
So folks, let's see who takes a crack at this, and the person with the most creative answer (as judged by me) will get a "no-prize"
I look forward to seeing the responses ...
Comments
Based On That
Based on that limited interaction alone, I'd have to say that there's no way to tell. You need to be patient and look for a pattern. More importantly, you need to keep an open mind. All too often, we humans see what we want to see, instead of what is actually there.
So, adopt a neutral outlook, carry on your ordinary (and we hope, pleasant) interactions, and let time inform you.
I think the closest choice B:Being nice, but also kinda flirting
well probably more like a third, flirty, one third being nice and one third sort of embarrassed because he's flirting with a trans woman and he likes it. So i did not even use your possibles but that seems most likely.
I find myself flirting with a transwoman every night now and Loving it
Goddess Bless you
Love Desiree
Body Language?
Looking you in the eyes is not too much of a clue, since that might be flirting or sincerity. But how close was he standing? If he broke the 2' barrier, flirting becomes much more likely (assuming he's American - the stand-off distance does vary by culture.) If he touched your arm, flirting becomes almost certain.
Stammering, which you mention, is a bit harder to interpret, since nervousness can have many different roots. At the innocent end, if he has had limited interaction in the past, he may feel bad about that and stammer while he's trying to make up for it and simply be nice. On the other hand, it could be an indication that he's trying to flirt, and doesn't know how he'll be received.
Without more information, possibly B, but also possibly A.
Keep in mind, either of them is still good ;)
Titania
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
What Else Could You Expect ?
Titania,
one could hardly expect any better of "these mortals" when you consider that they are very closely related to the great apes, indeed, are so closely related still, that were they any other species than they are, they would be lumped into the same genus as those closely related great apes.
Perhaps if they were a wee bit LESS MORTAL, they would find more time to consider longer term consequences. That would be much better for them, and for the rest of the Planet too. If they had evolved with bigger brains, and enough incentive to use them constructively, they would not have messed everything up so much, and would possibly understand one another better.
Briar
that is a little difficult with so little info
a couple of things that would help pin it down.
Is he known to be religious? if so being nice is more inline. if not, then he is probably flirting also.
does he stammer normally? if so again probably just being nice, but if not, then he is definitely nervous and is probably flirting. could be the Trans, could be just nervous of being rejected or both.
with what you have given us, i tend to go towards B (baring the answers to the two questions, while there is more, those are good tells as to his "normal" manner since we have no way of seeing his body language during the encounter). a shy guy will act like that, especially if he is not a "ladys" man and has little experience, or little successful experience.
best way to tell is try to engage him in more interactions and see his responses, just normal innocent stuff. his opinion on something, his help with something you probably don't really need help with, etc. his reactions will give you a better read of his intents then i think.
Hugs
Terri
Teresa L.
Being nice plus, plus what though? "B" I guess.
Being nice & or some actual concern(it is someone they know regardless of how casually) plus either kind of flirting or flustered that being nice may be seen as flirting. This really is not enough info to go on. So therefore I would have to choose B as the best guess.
My feeling would be they were being nice and where at least bit genuinely concerned, felt compelled to say something, but were hesitant that more might be read in to doing so. This comes from a recent personal experience, I may however be projecting my own feelings on to the incident.
Nah, not flirting.
There are those people, some of them guys who actually mean it when they say they were praying for you. It depends on how well the transwoman passes. If he knows you are trans, and is not a "special guy", then he most definitely was NOT flirting.
There was nothing in his communication that you could not take at face value.
Gwendolyn
Definately An A +
As far as I can see the lady in question is being greeted with genuine concern, a kindly man who was concerned for the welfare of said lady and that she had been away from work.
In my book C would not apply, to consider the response as option B would not be appropriate behaviour towards someone who had been sick / had surgery or any prelonged illness, the man would know that the situation requires congenial behaviour to avoid upsetting the lady in question.
Thats my take
LynKat
Dottie, I feel it's probably (A)
what? wait, no prize? not even popcorn? bummer! Oh well anyway, yes just "A", if he went on to say your looking much better, maybe a complement or two about hair and dress, then there would be flirting involved. Hugs, Popcorn Lady
Every thing is flirting
Flirting is like breathing... everyone does it and few people think about it.
There are many levels of flirting... so yes this is flirting.
Dayna.
Eye contact with Males !!!
Today was particularly nice in that my therapist said that I probably did not need her any more. With my multicultural background, it is still difficult to look men in the eyes, and when I do some of them do things to me and I to them. One today really seemed to "set the hook", and the next time I passed him in the store, he engaged me in a conversation about the location of their bakery. It was pleasant conversation, but I would not say there was not flirting nor was it completely un sexual. :) I think I will call these little eye contacts with males, "strafing". :)
G
Being Nice
Based on the one sentence interaction, it would be just A) Being nice.
Praying for someone's recovery is not a flirty sentence. Its a nice thing to do for someone to get better. Flirting would require some back and forth, not just a quick you were in my prayers and done.
{{Hugs}}
Voting for A) with a different explanation for stammer...
Hi,
I'm also way baffled by the new rules of human interaction...
But I'm going to vote for A) being nice but not flirty... Reserving judgement on whether he likes you or not without more information. I will toss out the idea that he could be stammering because he is not religious but despite this, he prayed for you and felt self-conscious because he's not used to praying...
Okay... That's my 2cents,
A.