Hello out there,

It appears Rairy just can't catch a break.

As I write this story I feel so sad. I'm one of those writers that feel's/feed's off the emotions they are writing and reading. So if I read something extremely depressing I can get really depressed myself.

Rairy is not a reflection of myself, but there are parts of me in her. She is so much braver than I ever was.

I grew up in a relatively stable family. My father worked 10 hour days so I never really got to know him until I was older. Mom went to school during the day, picked us up from school and then went to work. So I was often free to explore my mom's clothes when I felt like it. Truthfully I didn't do it all that often because I had a little brother that would blab if I did anything out of the ordinary.

Ordinary for me growing up was hanging out with friends outside skateboarding or riding my bike. I had a really good childhood and even when I was feeling down my friends were there for support. Even though I never told most of my school friends about me being trans we had sleepovers and played Magic the Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons all night long. There are so many fond memories I have but when I look back at them, those memories have a sort of empty feel to them because I wasn't who I felt I should be. Between those good memories, I literally shut myself down. Distracted myself with anything I could find to take me out of this world.

Books and video games were my main vices. They did the job well but left me without many social skills so I suffered in workplace environments.

I'm still struggling but since I started focusing on writing I've finally started to see a ray of hope.

Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter, I cried several times while writing it.

Rairy Contrary Chapter 2 Agonizing Retreat

With love,
Katherine