The Ambassador's Wife - update.
By
Angharad.
You may remember me, I was born Ambrose Collins which I somehow got changed to Amber Collins and because I was caught up in a little fracas in Jordan and somehow shot three men, two of them with intent to kill, and kicked a grenade into a swimming pool, allegedly saving the lives of Yussuf our bodyguard and Mrs Rosie Templeton-Barre, I received a George Medal. I was nominally in the army, being a cadet on work experience with the RMP (military police) on attachment to the embassy at Amdara. This is a snotty little place, really a dust bowl with snotty people who seem to like revolting against anyone and everyone. I mean we have never ruled that particular sand-pit, so what have they got against us? The fact that their ruler made a pass at the ambassador's wife, while he was drunk and she rebuffed him was all the excuse they needed. Her rebuff included slapping his face hard enough for the drunken idiot to fall over and swear revenge upon her. Apparently, Amdaran women are treated very badly, if I say they make Afghan women look well looked after, you might get my drift.

We evacuated Mrs Templeton - Barre to Jordan which was when the action occurred in which I shot three men and somehow saved three lives. I was disguised as a woman for a month or two as a companion to Rosie having tried to act as a decoy in the first instance, resplendent in wig and one of her dresses. We got away and got reinforcements from Jordan, were evacuated, attacked and then flown back to Blighty a day or two later. My documents had been destroyed by a hit on my bedroom by an RPG (a type of grenade) and in the haste to leave the embassy, the official there, made me one as dictated by the ambassador, in the name of Amber Collins.

I seem to have been living as female ever since; don't get me wrong, I enjoy living as a girl, and the hormones have really altered my teenage body, so I have reasonable breasts and tush, with quite a small waist between them.

I owe loads to Rosie, she got me to see a doctor, she took me to a self-defence expert, who told me how to fight if running away wasn't possible. He taught me to quickly evaluate a situation and if violence was inevitable to get the first hit in as many times as possible before they get you. If you get it right, they don't get you instead they run away. I got into one such incident at Harrogate at the Army College and by using a fire extinguisher and knees and elbows, I fought off four opponents. As James my defence instructor told me, survival is not a crime and to fight as if you mean it, and be prepared to kill if the situation demands it.

The next incident occurred when the unarmed combat trainer called me out in front of the class and challenged me. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to do it, but he said if I didn't he'd put me on a charge for disobeying an order. I told him to carry on because I didn't want to hurt him.

I walked away and he ran up and pushed me hard in the back. I rolled away so wasn't hurt. He came at me again, "Come on medal girl, they gave it to you for breaking a nail." He rushed at me again and I sidestepped him and tripped him as he went past.

That did it, he proclaimed he was going to teach me a lesson. I asked the class to witness that I didn't want to fight him, they were horrified. Here was a man probably fifty pounds heavier than me who had promised to thrash me for no reason, other than to make me an example in front of the others.

I ran across the room and he gave chase; just before he caught me I dropped down and he fell over the top of me, landing awkwardly, it hurt, he was now threatening to kill me. I was moving backwards toward the edge of the room when he charged me again. His momentum drove him into the chair I waved in front of him and it caught him on his arm and face. He went down like a sack of spuds, blood and teeth flying all over the place. He was out cold, which was just as well as I put him in the recovery position and told someone to call for an ambulance.

Of course, there was an investigation and the officer holding it told me that hitting someone with a chair wasn't cricket, don't ya know. Everyone there backed my story that I had been involved in a fight which could have ended in a serious sexual assault and had beaten off four attackers and the defence instructor wanted me to engage with him. I refused and he attacked me trying to provoke me into fighting back. I had asked him to stop and he continued and being much bigger than me, I was genuinely in fear of my life. I told the office I tripped him and again told him I didn't want to fight but he rushed at me again and I dropped in front of him and he fell over me and hurt himself and when he got up he was threatening to kill me. I then decided to fight back with a chair. He was so mad at me he didn't notice me edging towards it, he rushed me again and I hit him with the chair. I wasn't proud of it because I had hurt a fellow soldier but neither was I ashamed of protecting my life.

The officer said at first it could lead to a court-martial and only the evidence of the girls in my class prevented the army white-washing things. I was told that this time I would be all right but if I showed the excessive violence I had done twice, they would give me a dishonourable discharge. I don't like having the faults of others put upon me, so I told them that the first rule of combat was to look after yourself, then your colleagues. I had done just that. If they wanted to sacrifice me as an example, I would go to the press.

"You can't Collins, it's official secrets stuff."

"I don't care, if you are neglecting the law and natural justice by protecting the perpetrators it's no wonder you can't attract more women into the armed services. That culture went out during the last century."

The captain who had been dealing with me dismissed me but the colonel who had been watching it all sent for me. I wondered if I had overstepped the mark and waited outside his door like a schoolgirl outside the headmistress' door.

I was bidden to enter and I saluted and stood at attention before him. He sort of saluted me back and told me 'at ease'. I relaxed, if I took care I might avoid the can yet. "I watched the investigation into your excessive violence." I bit my tongue and didn't answer back.

"Did you have to break his arm and his face? Well?"

"Um, he was threatening to kill me and I didn't think he was joking, I wasn't sure where the chair was going to hit him but if it hadn't, I doubt I'd have been standing here now."

"He was quite a bit bigger than you?"

"Most men are, sir, I didn't know what he planned I think possibly just breaking me in half."

"I know the girls are worried about their safety."

"Yes, sir."

"I want you to teach them to defend themselves, even if it causes excessive violence. I don't want an army that uses sexual assault as a weapon. Teach them to fight like you do, to win."

"With all due respect, sir, my instructor told me only to fight if I couldn't run away."

"Fair comment, so teach them for when they can't"

"Very good, sir."

"Use the PE and games period for a month, will that be enough."

"To get them the basics, yes, sir."

"Good. Dismissed, Collins."

So that was what I did. The colonel assured me that any record of violence would be altered to show how my action had been defensive. And within a month I had a group of women who knew that running away was better than engagement, because if your opponent is fast you might not win, especially if it was by surprise.

Needless to say, my time at Harrowgate became quieter, although for some reason I was painted as a man-hater. I wasn't, but at least I was left alone, had good enough grades to get to university but in the holiday between, I managed to get a certain place sorted, which the army arranged for me. I now felt like a real woman.

I had to agree to take a short service commission after uni. While I was tempted to study gender studies or something comparable, I ended up going for English with some history of literature involved.

University was great and I enjoyed myself and discovered I liked both men and women equally. But all good things come to an end and I had to do my three years in the army as a junior officer. I spent ages running about fields, though what that did for learning how to command I don't know. About six months later I was posted to the RMP as a second lieutenant, I was officially a Mary, who expected to be shown how to do things by my sergeant. My mother was ecstatic, I had made officer, one better than my dad.

I'd learned to respect my NCOs, they had been around much longer than I, and most of the time they knew what to do. Once they saw I was respectful of them, they were great, that I was pretty with a reasonable body and long blond hair didn't do me any harm either.

I was serving at Aldershot when we were called out to a ruckus involving some squaddies. I was duty officer, so along with my sergeant and another MP we went to investigate. Some drunken paras thought they had been short-changed and were taking it out on the pub decor. Great, just what I need, some special services breaking the place up. Not all paras are special services but anyone who is happy to jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane must be either brave or touched, possibly both.

My two MPs launched into the ruckus and several men were wearing bracelets before they had finished. I was checking on the state of the prisoners, thinking about all the paperwork they cause, while my sergeant was trying to handcuff one particularly large paratrooper. I saw his hand move and a knife drawn - this was now possibly life-threatening stuff. My sergeant still hadn't seen it and as the man stabbed at him I pushed my sarge out of the way at the same time picking a bottle off a nearby table and smashing it over the soldier's hand.

"Well, well, so that's how you want to play it", he dived at me and I jumped out of the way, he came at me again and I smashed a bottle and waved it in his face. "You haven't got the guts," he spat at me.

"My self-defence instructor said something like that when I wrapped a chair around his head." He feinted and came towards me again when my MP tasered him and by golly did he yell, he also wet himself.

He was cuffed, none too gently and he was dragged out to the van along with three of his colleagues. He was out of it for a while, but he threatened vengeance on me personally. His colleagues told him to stay quiet as he could also be charged with insubordination and threatening behaviour.

He was still grumbling when my sergeant told him that he should consider himself lucky as I had put four in hospital when I was a cadet. I just ignored it, simply doing my job, the man had already been charged with pulling a knife on my sergeant so he could be going down or out.

He went to the cells swearing revenge on me. I went back to my paperwork.

That's how it was. My reputation grew for taking Lofty Tyler down. I hadn't really but he was discharged from the service and sentenced to several years in prison, we don't need thugs in uniform.

It was two years later and I was deciding whether I'd sign on for a few more years when he turned up again. I was walking to the station to meet my mum when he confronted me, "Not so brave now you haven't got someone waving a taser at me."

I didn't need this, I didn't have time and I could get hurt, and it would be entirely personal. "Look just go on your way and I'll pretend you didn't threaten me."

"But I did, Lieutenant, huh expect a girl to do a man's job."

"Please, I don't want any unpleasantness."

"I'm gonna break your scrawny neck. It's your fault I lost my job, got a discharge and done time in nick. Now you're gonna pay."

"It was your fault, you pulled that knife, no one made you."

"Ha, the last thing you'll see is my knife stickin' out of ya." He pulled it out of his waistband.

Oh dear, this was a real problem. I did think about just running for it, but I noticed somebody calling the police, so I had to keep him busy for a few minutes if I could. If not I'd bleed all over him

He slashed at me and I jumped away, damn these were nice trousers too. Again he slashed and I backed away. I spotted a freestanding litter bin on the pavement.

The person who'd phoned told Lofty that he'd done so. It was the moment I needed and gripped the bin. Lofty just looked at me and laughed, "Gonna go pickin' litter?" Then he lunged forward and I stepped back and swung the bin with all my might. It hit him and broke, knocking him down. "Oh dear, now what ya gonna do?" he asked kicking the litter about. Then he slashed at me again and once more I jumped back and he laughed. Then he did so again and this time I stepped into him blocked the slash and kicked him behind his knee. He yelled and pushed me away, but I held on to his hand bearing the knife. He swung me around and I flew off pulling him after me. He fell onto the ground and groaned. He rose, his face bleeding quite badly. "I'm gonna kill you," he said and lurched at me again.

This time I sidestepped him and kicked his bad leg and he fell again. He staggered to his feet and as he wobbled I ran at him and kicked the leg again, as he started to fall I hit him on the back of his neck with all the force I could summon. He slumped forward and lay still, I didn't know if he was playing possum or not then saw the amount of blood, he'd fallen on his knife.

With the help of phone man, we turned him over and the knife was stuck in his gut. I tried to staunch the wound using a scarf I'd not long bought.

"Don't tell any of my mates you bested me again," he croaked at me. In the distance, sirens were wailing.

"Stay with me, that's an order."

"I'm not in your fucking army now, remember you got me thrown out."

"Just stay with me."I entreated him again.

"I was gonna kill you."

"Bigger men than you have tried."

"You killed thee ragheads in Jordan," he said to me as if it was important.

"Maybe," I said trying to stop the bleeding.

"Give you a gong didn't they?"

"It's not important now," I tried to keep him awake and blood was trickling out of his mouth. He coughed and splattered me with it.

"It is, I got bettered twice by an 'eroine, no wonder, bloody superwoman." He said this and died. The police and ambulance arrived together but were unable to revive him, I should feel glad that I was alive but I felt sad that an unnecessary life had been lost.

My mother was collected by a police driver and brought to the copshop. They tried to pin a stabbing on me but Mr Phone had videoed the whole thing. I was represented by an army lawyer and went back to my little house to shower and threw out all the clothes I'd been wearing.

My mother kept quiet but made some tea and we drank it together. "Not exactly the circumstances I'd envisaged when I set off for the station."

"Quite," my mother said. Then a few minutes later, "Did you decide to sign on again?"

"You have got to be joking, I have been involved in the deaths of four men, there is no way I want any more of this."

"But you're good at your job, you're already a first lieutenant, should make captain if you stay in."

"How many lives will that cost? I've had enough, maybe I could teach English?"

"That will be much harder than this and the pension's worse."

"Maybe?" I replied I didn't know what I wanted but I didn't want to see anyone else die. I was out of the army at the first opportunity, that was all I knew.

The end.