Diva Dismayed 17: Chapter 17 – Problems
“Tell me what’s wrong” she began, when my tears had abated somewhat. She handed me a tissue. “You know. A problem shared is a problem halved.”

I blew my nose loudly and tried to and get a hold on my emotions. The last thing I wanted to do was share anything with Della, particularly anything of a sensitive nature. I gave her what I hoped was a brave if teary smile. “Oh, I expect it’s just my hormones” I explained in a lame attempt to pass off my distress. Actually my statement was probably more accurate than I was aware of!

“Oh! Is it that time?” she asked. “You had better have an aspirin. Here. I’ll make us some tea and I can fill a hot water bottle at the same time. I find if I wrap one in a towel and keep it on my belly, it takes the worst of the pains away really quickly.”

Della bustled about, while I sat in her chair and wondered how I was going to make my escape from her unnecessary kindnesses. She made me sit back and placed the water bottle carefully on my tummy, then she perched on the arm of the chair.

“Now do you need anything? Is it very heavy? I have plenty of towels if you need them.”

I shook my head. “Thanks, anyway.”

“Tampons too” she added a little slyly. “Do you use those? The brand I like to use are really good. They feel so soft and silky. When you slip one inside it’s really nice. Know what I mean?”

This was way too much information, and my resulting embarrassment galvanised me into action. I stood up. “You know, I feel so much better now. I really should be going.”

I squeezed her hand in gratitude. “Thank you for the tea and the aspirin, and for being so kind and… helpful.”

I wasn’t to escape so easily however. Before I could make my exit, my new benefactress had enveloped me in a hug. It seemed to go on much longer that was necessary and included a brush of her lips against my cheek. In fact it was only by turning my head at the last minute that I missed receiving a more intimate kiss. However exciting that might have promised to be, it would probably have given rise to more powerful emotions than I could cope with right then. Before the embrace ended I felt a hand descend to rest on, then squeeze, my butt. In shock I simply froze and my inaction seemed to encourage the other hand to join it. Aargh!
Actually being touched like that felt strangely comforting despite the fact that comfort from Della was not what I was looking for. After a few moments of this intimacy she pulled away. She put her hands on my shoulders, and regarded me appraisingly.

“What you need is a pick me up” she prescribed. “Come on.”

Her manner was forceful and I didn’t know how to raise an objection. She quickly changed her slippers for a pair of loafers and grabbed her purse from the back of a chair. Then taking hold of my hand, with an “I know just the place” she led me out of her apartment, down the stairs and out of the building. I had no idea where we were headed but we walked several blocks, took a couple of turns and then darted down a side alley. A flickering neon sign high on a building proclaimed “Toni’s Bar” and we entered.

The hallway was dimly lit. We crossed it and my conductress led me up a narrow flight of stairs to reach the bar-room. Looking towards the further end of the room, I noticed tables for two lining both walls. There was a 12-seat bar built into the far corner, and framed pictures hung on the walls. Their style was arty and the subject matter seemed to be pretty much exclusively women. As a first impression the bar appeared much like any other, though perhaps the tired décor suggested that it might be bit of a dive.

For such an early hour of the evening the room was surprisingly busy. When I looked around more attentively I realised that there hardly any men among the clientele of the establishment. The bartenders were also women, and from that I figured that the place was probably owned by a woman, presumably Toni. Some of the patrons wore dresses or skirts, but a good number were in slacks and blazers and had short, masculine haircuts. I’d encountered nowhere like this before.

“Let’s get you a drink” recommended my companion. “Something to set you up.”

A drink would be very welcome but I wanted to retain some independence so declared. “I’d like a coke, but I’ll pay.” Fortunately I’d brought my purse with me and produced the necessary.

“Okay, but I’d better order.” Della sat me at one of the tables then went and to the bar. She came back with my change and sat opposite me, smiling her enigmatic smile. After a little while the bartender came over with our drinks.

“Hi Della. Good to see you. Whose is the beer?”

“Hi Margot. For me” said my self-appointed caretaker “and the… other one for Jennifer here.”

“I see you’ve got yourself a new femmie friend. Cute too! Hi sweetie, glad you could make it.”

The woman walked away. Was it my imagination or had she given me a strange look as she put my drink down? I took a hearty gulp, and choked. The coke tasted unusually sweet. Strong too.

“I can see you need that, but take it slower. Now, drink it gently all the way down.”

I obeyed and came up for air with my head swimming.

“Better?”

I nodded and Della signalled across the room for another. “Same again” she mouthed to the bartender pointing to my glass.

When the woman came over, Della made as if to pay but was interrupted very abruptly.

“Just hold your horses there.” Then to me “Now, honey. You think you can fool me?”

Completely taken aback, I looked at her wide-eyed. What did she mean? How could she know and how had she guessed? I’d gotten so used to being accepted for what I appeared to be but was not, that being read so easily came as something of a shock.

“Oh yes. I can tell you’re pretending. Like to let me in on your little secret?”

Aghast, I looked blankly at her. How ought I respond? I didn’t know what to say.

Margot folded her arms and pursed her lips. “Just how old are you?”

“Sixteen” I faltered.

“I thought so. Della, that’s not fair. You should know better.”

“Aww. Come on. It was just a couple of drinks. No big deal” my companion expostulated sheepishly.

What did my age matter? I was only drinking coke, wasn’t I?

“No big deal! Didn’t you hear that the Calypso got raided only last week. The boys in blue are real hot on us right now. They don’t need any excuse. Do you want us closed down?”

“Course not! Sorry!”

“Well, you can take your little friend out of here this minute” the woman concluded. “And if you ever pull another stunt like this you’ll be permanently barred.”

Looking suitably abashed Della rose and made her way towards the exit. I stood to follow her but was restrained by a hand on my arm. A woman at the next table delayed my progress. She was one of those with her hair cut short. Under her jacket she wore a shirt and man’s tie.

“Honey, you’re awful sweet. It’s Jennifer isn’t it?” Her companion looked on disapprovingly.

I gazed at her wondering what she wanted. She gave me what was intended as a disarming smile while retrieving a card from the pocket of her pants. “You can call me Pete and there’s my number. If you ever need a place to unwind I only live around the corner. Phone me any time if you want to come over and relax. I can promise you all the Jack that you feel like drinking, with or without coke.”

The card was pressed slyly into my hand. Not wanting to make any show of resistance, I slipped it into my purse as I retrieved the latter from my chair. Out of the tail of my eye I saw Della waiting in the doorway and wearing a look of disapproval. When I turned to leave my butt experienced a not altogether playful pinch which went right through me and stopped me in my tracks. I found myself giving an involuntary gasp but whether it was with surprise or pleasure I couldn’t be sure. Possibly a mixture of both! Glancing over my shoulder I caught a come hither look on the face of this latest acquaintance, a look of invitation. In panic I hastened away. What was wrong with the people in this town? Why did everyone try and come on to me?

I faced the inevitable question on joining my companion. “What did she want?”

I shrugged. “Just being friendly, I think” I answered airily. “She said something about my drinks. What did she mean?”

Della didn’t reply. She was unusually quiet on the way back to the apartment block. Passing the drug store she said she had some purchases to make so we parted company there and I walked on, glad to be finally alone.

When I got to my door a footfall on the stair below made me aware of the approach of another person. Prepared to meet anyone other than my recent companion I glanced anxiously over the rail and was thankful to see Rachel’s head appear in view, followed of course by the rest of her. The image was more welcome than ever to my fevered brain. I managed to restrain my feelings until we were safely in my apartment and then threw my arms around her. It was all I could do to stop myself from weeping on her shoulder.

She looked surprised but pleased at the warmth of the embrace.

“Well it’s nice to be wanted” she laughed.

I didn’t care. Safe again!

After we’d prepared out meal we sat and ate. I related to my friend what had occurred earlier. She listened wide-eyed and then congratulated me on a narrow escape. “You did well to get out of there. Those places get raided all the time. I was beginning to think I’d misjudged Della, but apparently not. I guess it was nice of her to want to look after you, when all is said and done” she concluded.

I couldn’t disagree, despite the obviously ulterior motive in our neighbour’s behaviour.

“Anyway, are you going to tell me what was wrong in the first place?”

I looked up and at the sight of the genuine concern in Rachel’s eyes, I started to well up all over again. What was the matter with me?

“Well, I did listen to what you said about not dating Harvey” I began.

At the mention of the name, however, she looked away as if contemplating something in the distance. It was as if she had switched off. I was just about to pour out my troubles but halted in mid-sentence. “I… er…”

This apparent inattention on her part was really unlike my mentor.

After a pause I continued “Are you listening?”

“Sorry! I was thinking of… something. Go on.”

“It’s about Harvey.”

“Oh, you must make up your own mind about him. I’ve said my piece. What else is bothering you?”

I then went on to describe the other of the two things that was upsetting me. Over the past weeks the preparations for the fashion show had continued apace and my evening rehearsals were leaving me a nervous wreck. The intimacy I was experiencing with my co-models on a regular basis was naturally not without its pleasures but those were more than countered by the accompanying anxiety I was experiencing. On no account must I give away the secret of my birth gender! Also I could not but help feeling guilty that I was deceiving those who were fast becoming my ‘bosom’ friends. Altogether I could see no way out of my dilemma. As usual, I had taken the line of least resistance.

It was soothing to be able to unburden myself about this and be reassured by my confidante. She assured me that my behaviour didn’t mean that I was a terrible person. At the same time I had to endure some good-natured chaffing from my teasing friend.

“I would have expected that anyone in your situation would be in seventh heaven” she remarked gaily. Then more seriously “How do you stop yourself bursting when faced with all that temptation?”

“I honestly don’t know” was my reply. “I come back here ready to explode, I’m so aroused.”

“That’s interesting. When are you next rehearsing? Tomorrow? Well, tomorrow just happens to be the first of ‘those’ days for me this month.”

I caught her meaning immediately and coloured up.

“It’s a pity you’re so involved with Harvey just now, because otherwise we might have helped each other out. Who knows?” she shrugged.

With a curt “Goodnight” she was gone.

It was with despondent feelings that I readied myself for bed that night.

Rachel’s abrupt manner troubled me more than any of my previous worries. Instead of feeling better our conversation had made me feel so much worse.