Diva Dismayed: Chapter 15 – Not a date
Despairingly I looked along the closet rail and couldn’t find anything which was new or newish and which hit the spot. I’d just resigned myself to defeat when finally a skirt caught my eye. It was straight and in a bright floral brocade and one I hadn’t worn before. The label told me that Mom must have found it in a sale. I stepped into it, pulled it up around my middle and fastened the zipper. I stood before the glass critically but thankfully it looked just right.

It was neither too short nor too long and said sensible and practical, but smart and cheerful also. I determined there and then to go with this particular choice. Thank goodness that was settled! I breathed a huge sigh of relief. But then… what on earth would I wear with it?

At this point I decided that enough was enough for one evening. I would just have to sleep on it and hope that inspiration had grown wings by morning. I called it a night and turned in exhausted.

The next morning found me no nearer solving the puzzle I’d set myself. What to wear that evening for my not-a-date with Harvey was proving highly problematic. It was no good rationalising that it really didn’t matter that much. I wanted our friendship to start off on the right footing and it piqued me to think that despite all my experience over the past months I seemed to be less able to select an appropriate outfit than a typical girl of my years would. Call it pride if you will, but if I had to live like a female it wasn’t going to be as a second-rate one.

The best option I’d come up so far with seemed to be the straight skirt. Surely I ought to be able to team it with a little top of some sort, but finding something suitable could be just as tricky. My funds were extremely low so going shopping for something suitable was out of the question. Neither had I had time to consult Rachel again before she’d left for work. I’d been unable to draw on that fount of all wisdom just when I needed to.

I began to wonder whether I should consult one of the other girls I knew… but whom? I could ask the women at work… but then I’d have to explain about my date, and how it wasn’t really a date, and then I’d have to give a detailed account of how it went. How awkward would that be? Without doubt I would get ribbed mercilessly!

Then there was Della. As soon as I thought of her I ruled her out. There were two issues with confiding in her. She was clearly not a style expert in any shape or form, though no doubt she would have been ready to throw in her two cents worth if asked. On top of that I was all too well aware how she would view my meeting a boy at all. She would be free with her opinion of my choice of companion and that would have been about as low as my opinion of her dress sense. No, here was a problem I would have to solve on my own.

On my bus ride to the salon that morning with my difficulty was no nearer a solution, I gazed vacantly out of the window. The pane of glass was smeared and grimy and its lack of clarity seemed to reflect my own lack of vision. I brooded disconsolately that there was no assistance likely to be had out there. Or was there? I was about to get out of my seat as we approached the downtown when something caught my eye. In the shop window we were passing a flash of colour attracted me. It was at the Goodwill store. I turned my head but couldn’t make out properly what I’d seen. However I got the strongest impression that there had been a top on one of the mannequins there which was the exact same colour as my skirt.

There wasn’t time for me to investigate just then. I had to contain my excitement all morning until at lunchtime I made my way to the store. It was several blocks away from the salon and the walk seemed interminable. I was so impatient to get there that I almost ran part of the way.

When I arrived I was dismayed to find that there was nothing in the window which remotely resembled what I’d thought I’d seen. I shook my head discouraged and was about to turn away when a movement stopped me in my tracks. One of the store assistants was engaged in undressing a mannequin in a window at the farther end of the storefront. If the clothes on the dummies were being changed then might that mean that the item which had caught my eye could now be somewhere on a rail within?

Feeling like a dummy myself, I went inside. I expected it would be a matter of seconds to find anything in the bright colour I was looking for, but my first hasty glance around the room disclosed nothing at all similar. More deliberately I searched through each of the several rails in turn, but again was disappointed. Aware that the time remaining for my short lunch break was fast disappearing, my shoulders slumped. Surely what I was seeking hadn’t been sold. How unlucky was that?

As a final throw of the dice I approached the counter and consulted an assistant. “Pardon me, but I wonder if you can help me. In your window I noticed a kind of jacket this morning. It was in a bright shade of red. Do you still have it for sale, by any chance?”

The woman looked doubtful. “It aint there now honey? Have you checked all the rails?”

I first shook my head, then nodded in reply. Hope was fast disappearing.

She grimaced “Sorry dearie. It’s most likely gawn.”

I was about to turn away when she yelled across the store to a colleague. “Thelma!”
The person whose attention had been attracted so abruptly walked across to us. “How many times have I told you not to shout?” She was frowning as she approached.

From her manner I guessed that Thelma must be the person in charge. The first woman was unabashed. “Was there a red jacket in the window display this morning, do you recall? Has it been sold?”

The manageress’s frown deepened but her next words were music to my ears. “As it happens I remember it perfectly. I took it down when I changed the display and put it in back, along with the rest of the stuff I’d taken out of the window. It will be back on the rail directly.”

Turning to me, “Is it you that’s asking, miss?”

Breathlessly I assured her it was. Time was fast running out. “Can I see it please?”

That evening I had the opportunity to put my new purchase with the skirt I’d settled on the night before. Together they looked more than promising. Breathlessly I hastened to try them both on. A look in the glass told me the combination was nigh on perfect and I was so delighted I danced around the room! Feeling rather proud of myself, I couldn’t wait till I showed my handiwork to Rachel. She had better be impressed!

My friend proved to be just as appreciative of my outfit as I’d hoped, especially after I’d explained how I’d put it together.

“That was lucky, finding something which goes so well,” she exclaimed. “You do realise that red is about the most difficult colour to coordinate. There are just too many shades.”

Her manner became serious. “Now there’s one thing you really ought to consider. I know you don’t regard this meet-up with Harvey as a date.”
I was about to protest the innocence of my motives but Rachel held up her hand and continued. “And I accept that it isn’t one. But…”

Aargh! I just knew there was a ‘but’ on the way.

“But, it may turn into one. Or a date may follow, who knows? Either way, in fairness to Harvey, you need to consider whether you ought to be open with him, and if so when. That’s all I’m saying.”

I knew my mentor was right. It was a problem, however. Not only was divulging a secret like mine potentially explosive in any relationship, but above all else I would need to be sure I could trust him for absolute discretion ever afterwards. That would be quite a tall order.

Harvey and I had arranged to meet at a little bar at the side of a local food hall a few blocks away. The latter would be closed up for the evening but the bar itself remained open till late. With few customers at that time of day we could be sure that the place offered an ideal venue for a quiet get together. When I arrived, my possibly a date, possibly not, was already there waiting for me, wearing his customary grin. The décor was cheerful and quirky and my companion and I were soon at our ease sitting on bar stools side by side and sipping coke from the bottle.

Though all we did was talk, the evening went really well. I found the guy so easy to chat to. We seemed to be on the same page whatever the subject. I told him about my mom and Tom and he really seemed to understand how I felt about them. I learned about his family. He lived with his dad, who he made out was an old redneck, and there was a brother in the army. Harvey was full of optimism and he made everything sound like it was fun.

One thing he didn’t mention, not that it mattered in the least of course, was how I looked in my new outfit. I kept expecting him to make a remark each time there was a lull in the conversation, but no. It left me wondering more and more as time went on. Was I okay? A “you look nice” would have sufficed. It didn’t bother me. Well, perhaps I was a little bit piqued. After all I’d expended a lot of effort in putting the combination together, also in getting myself ready, though not for him, particularly. Knowing I appeared to advantage always gave me confidence, is all. At some point when I had become quite animated in what I was saying, I found myself standing in front of him. I don’t know how it came about. It must have been an unconscious sort of thing. I mean, I wasn’t coming on to him! Really!

But he still didn’t seem to notice. Aargh!

After our second coke, a glance at my watch told me that hours had flown by. Reluctantly I pointed out that it was time to go. We both had an early start next morning and, as this wasn’t a date, there could be no justification for our staying out particularly late. We set out on our walk back. As we strolled along, I wondered how the evening was going to end. All I knew was that I didn’t want it to. My companion pulled my arm through his and we naturally fell into step. We didn’t need to speak much and I felt nice and close to my companion.

Searching around for a fresh topic, Harvey asked me when my studies would start.

“In two weeks.”

“Really? That soon? Are you looking forward to it?”

“Half of me is, but the other half is scared stiff. It is all so completely new. I don’t know anyone, or anything, for that matter.”

“You’ll be fine” my companion assured me. His gentle pressure on my hand under his arm felt very reassuring. “Remember. All that you’ll be studying will just be theory. You’ve got a whole heap of solid experience to draw on. Like my old dad always says, there’s no substitute for real life.”

“I hope he’s right in this case.”

We were approaching my apartment block and both fell silent again. I had a premonition that the evening wasn’t quite over and that something was about to happen.

“You know, I didn’t mention it before because I must sound like a stuck record, but I think you’re beautiful. You look real swell tonight.”

I coloured up and stammered my thanks. There! He’d said it!

Harvey turned to face me. “Can we do this again some time?”

“I’d like that.” The words came out involuntarily.

“Great! I guess it’s goodnight then.”

“I guess.”

Then he kissed me!

It wasn’t the greatest kiss ever, certainly not in the same league as the one I’d experienced with Della in the park, but it was our first real kiss and so it felt special on that account. I might have kissed him back. Actually I definitely did and I have to admit that I didn’t want to stop. Hmm! I think that might have made it a date!
Oh no!