CHAPTER SEVEN

Day 151? - the next day

We went to the beach today. Not the one at the east end of the island where I’ve been making Pete’s memorial, but another one I didn’t know about. It was on the south side. We walked through the wood opposite Penn’s cottage and then a narrow path led down the side of the cliff to a tiny cove where big Atlantic breakers pounded on to a small strip of white sand no more than a hundred yards or so long and maybe twenty yards wide from the high tide line to the foot of the cliff. I couldn’t believe how surefooted Penn was, given his condition. It was like he carried a map of every square inch of the island around in his head. I clung tightly on to his hand as he led me down, my sarong fluttering in the breeze, Penn calling out for me to be careful where there were patches of loose gravel as though I was the one who couldn’t see the path.

Penn dropped the rucksack carrying our picnic at the high tide line and hurriedly pulled off his shoes, followed by his t-shirt and chinos.
“Come on! Be quick! I’ll race you to the sea!”
His body was lean and toned from his work in the garden, and the high midday sun picked out the contours of his six-pack. I suddenly realised that I could look at him without him knowing, and I smiled to myself. I didn’t hurry my own undressing.

We played in the sea, jumping as each incoming wave swept us up off our feet, laughing as occasionally one or other of us would misjudge and be momentarily submerged, coming back up coughing and spluttering and blinking in the sunlight. We body-surfed - paddling out to catch the largest waves and then swimming furiously to keep up with them as they cast us back to the shore. A particularly large wave swept us faster and higher than the others. I landed on my back giggling with the exhilaration. A split second later Penn crashed alongside, laughing. I felt the water recede, flowing back from my neck across my breasts and stomach, and down my legs; a final drip from the tip of my toe. The warmth of Penn’s body replacing the cold of the water, matching my contours with his, his elbow alongside my cheek. And then he bent, and kissed me. Softly at first and then, as my tongue responded to his, more passionately.

After months of wondering what it would be like, and how I might react if I ever found myself in this situation, everything happened so naturally, as though at some subliminal level Penn’s body reacted directly to the wishes and desires of mine, and vice-versa, without needing to think or speak. He slid inside me and I pulled him tight, wrapping my legs around him, our bodies almost merging into one pure mass. When I came it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. For a moment the intensity was such that I thought I might die. Penn slumped against me, spent, and I kissed him softly and we lay like that, the surf caressing our ankles, until the sun sank behind the trees on the cliff at the end of the beach.

I’m back in my room now, writing this sat in my window. It’s a beautiful clear sky and the stars look incredible. Penn’s been neglecting his gardening because of me these last couple of days, so we’re not seeing each other tomorrow during the day. But it’s ok, because he’s invited me over to his cottage for dinner in the evening. I’ve already decided what I’m going to wear - I’ve been working in the attic on a gorgeous slinky silver satin long dress. It’s not quite finished yet, but I should have time to do that tomorrow. Yikes! I’ve just re-read what I’ve written. I’m such a girl now, but I love it!

Day 152? - the next day

I got up early today, to get my chores out of the way so that I’d have as much time as I needed to finish off my dress. I had to explain to Ash and Drew why I was slinking off to the attic earlier than usual, which meant that I ended up telling them what had happened yesterday. Of course they made me spill every last detail, and ever since they’ve been teasing me mercilessly and calling me ‘lovergirl’. They insisted on helping me to get ready tonight, and it was so good having them there, laughing and joking as they did my hair and make up, and polished my nails. After our chat a couple of days ago I think I love them even more than ever. For the first time in my life I have a family.

The dress is only the third thing I’ve made, but I’m definitely starting to get the hang of it now. It’s really simple, with a cowl neck and a low cut back with diagonal spaghetti straps. It’s bias cut, so the satin drapes really beautifully, and it feels amazing as I move, like a caress over my whole body, every step giving me goosebumps. Ash found me some strappy silver sandals to go with it, and a chiffon wrap. I’m still barely used to wearing tall heels, and I tottered precariously along the garden path to Penn’s cottage. Penn was wearing a blue suit with a crisp white shirt and a matching blue tie. He complained half heartedly that he’d be much more comfortable in his old gardening clothes but I think he was secretly really happy when I told him how handsome he looked. He’d moved the pine table out from the kitchen and laid it on the front porch, in amongst the wisteria. The woods in front of us were bathed in a beautiful summer’s evening glow.

We’d been talking about the island, and how both of us felt that here we were living closer to nature than anywhere we’d experienced in our previous lives.
“So I’ve got this theory.” Penn was saying. “It’s not very scientific, so don’t shoot me down in flames, but you know how we’re all made up of atoms, right? And atoms are made up of the nucleus, with protons and neutrons, and then there’s a big gap to where the nucleus is orbited by an electron, right?”
I nodded.
“So we’re a big collection of atoms, and most of the atoms are just the space between the nucleus and the electrons?”
I nodded again.
“So what if, when I’m gardening, say, some of those atoms or electrons or whatever kind of gets rubbed off in the soil, or some of the soil’s atoms get rubbed off on me? Then I’m walking around with some of the soil in me, and the soil has a little piece of me left behind in it. And every time we touch something, or interact with it, another exchange happens. So every time you sit down with your back to your grandmother oak tree, you take away a little bit of her and she gets a little bit of you. And the more you do it, the more bits you get. Until she’s become a part of you.”
“I like that! I like the idea that she’s part of me. I think about her a lot. And that maybe I’m part of her too. And we’re all connected…”
“Everything IS connected. You can feel it here. On Aeaea. In ways I couldn’t before.”
He reached across the table and took my hand. “Have you ever read any poems by ee cummings?”
I shook my head.
“He wrote one called “I carry your heart with me’. It kind of reminds me of the same things. That when you fall in love with someone you carry a piece of them around with you. Forever.“ He cleared his throat.

“I carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)”

I leant across the table and kissed him gently. “I think that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”
The sun sank below the treeline and I shivered, drawing my wrap up and around my shoulders. Penn took my hand. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

He pulled me in to him, his hands around my waist, his fingertips playing around the threshold where the low cut satin at the back of my dress met my bare skin. My arms were wrapped around his neck and we kissed, our bodies swaying gently together. I felt his hardness against me, and it excited me that I could have this effect on him, and I pulled him tighter. His hands followed the line of the boundary between my dress and my bare back. Up, and over my shoulder to my collarbones, where he eased his fingers under the straps of my dress and slid them outwards. My dress cascaded to the floor and I gasped as the satin flowed over my contours, leaving me standing in front of him naked but for my heels. He grinned and, even though he couldn’t see me, I instinctively crossed my arms over my breasts and pouted in mock indignation.
“That’s not fair! You’ve still got your suit on!”
He grinned again, and held out his arms, and I slid the sleeves of his jacket over them and loosened his tie, desperately trying to concentrate as he kissed his way down my neck and over my breasts. I unfastened his trousers and they fell to the floor. Reaching inside the waistband of his boxers I took hold of him, and it was his turn to gasp and mine to grin. I kissed him, panting now, and leant in to his ear. “Let me try something…I’ve never done this before.”
I kissed my way down his chest, kneeling as I passed his waist, easing his boxers down with my free hand as I continued to grip him, pumping slowly up and down along his length, with my other. His penis was in front of me now. I paused; took a breath; blew out gently over him; gave him another stroke; listened to him groan. I’d never been this close to another man’s penis before. Holding it there in my hand, my lacquered fingernails wrapped around him, feeling the power I had as Penn groaned and flinched with each movement of my wrist, was turning me on more than I could have imagined. I eased back his foreskin, and licked gently along his tip, and then around his glans. Then, taking him into my mouth I washed my tongue over him as my hand squeezed up and down. I could feel him tense and I would ease off momentarily and then pick up again, gripping him ever so slightly more firmly; licking him ever so slightly more roughly. At length, I felt him tremble and I closed my mouth around him as he began to explode inside. He cried out; his whole body rigid, his back arching, his hands gripping my shoulders tight. At length the tension eased from his body. I eased away from him gently and stood to face him. He was panting. “Seriously?…” he panted again and grinned “You’ve never done that before?…”

We made love all night. I awoke in the morning still nestled in his arms, the sun streaming in through the window, cuckoos calling in the woods outside.