Mirror Changed – Chapter 08
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~Jayde~
It was about fifteen minutes after I took refuge in the men’s restroom across from the theater that the next show got out. As soon as a large group of men entered the facilities I left from my hiding spot in one of the toilettes. I kept my head down and walked along with the wave of people happily chatting on their way home. I saw no sign of the strange red-haired woman as I walked, but I remembered the slasher flick. So, I kept my guard up and didn’t head directly home. Instead, I made my way in a different direction away from the shopping district.
Sort of in the direction of home and sort of towards the university district I rambled along. No real location in mind yet as the nightlife of the city awoke. I kind of wished I had taken up the offer of a fake ID that Dave had suggested last month to Suzi and me. I could get into one of the bars to hang out then.
Of course there was a good chance psycho chick was at one. So maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t have any way to get in.
This double think would give me a serious migraine if I kept it up.
Eventually I found myself in a neighborhood I sort of recognized. Older mid-scale apartment complexes and condominiums dominated the rural environment. The street I was on was only one block away from the terraces where Suzi lived. I pulled my phone out to give her a ring. It’d be nice to say hello. To try to reconnect.
Also, if stalker chick got me then I’d have one more person to have seen me before they dragged my corpse out of the Puget Sound.
Two rings and it went to her voicemail so I hung up and texted her a message.
She must’ve had her phone in hand because she messaged me back in almost no time.
[what’s up?] – Suzi
[Hey, in area. Wat r u do?] – me
[Nothing. God, are you still on that old flip phone?] – Suzi
[You should upgrade to something with at least a keypad.] – Suzi
[Texting using short lettering and abbreviations is so unsexy and infantile.] – Suzi
Leave it to Suzi to message me three times before I could complete even one reply.
[Sry. Hrd 2 complt near as fst msgs as u on phone. U @ home?] – me
[Why? You looking for some fun? * nudge nudge wink wink *] – Suzi
I blushed at her tease. I knew she was just having fun, but even texting I was too abashed to flirt with her.
No matter how much I really wanted to.
[No, I mean Y. Well Im right out ur apt comp. Bout 1 blck away. Can U hang?] – me
[Oh Gods Yes! If only to stop your absolutely foul attempt at texting. Seriously Jayde, I love you like a brother but text conversations with you suck.] – Suzi
Like a brother. Yeah, I do suck I guess. At least I can be around Suzi again. It was often disheartening how she viewed me. I knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt. However she was less than a minute away so I let my feet get me there without too much more internalized conversation.
I got through the parking area outside her place. I’ve never been inside, but I’ve helped load and unload outside her place a few times for comic conventions that Suzi went to. Before I could knock on her door my friend came out.
It seemed I caught Suzi off guard enough that she wasn’t in any of her bizarre or unconventionally rebellious outfits. Like at the party, her simple beauty took me off guard. Her light blonde hair was a little longer than mine and undyed for once. Feathered a little in a popular style it made a great accented frame for her face. Suzi’s outfit was a tightknit dark woolen sweater that hugged her curves and darker slacks that had to be custom fitted. Her open footed pumps on her feet made her whole look perfect for the higher ends of town. As if she had stepped right out of a limo delivering her from up in Medina, Mercer Island, Briarcliff, or another of the millionaire communities.
“Uh… hi…?” I stammered. Far more bashful than I wanted to be.
Damn it, why couldn’t I ever tell her how I felt. Instead I either had terminal foot in mouth syndrome or I jibber-jabbered my stammer like a pro.
“That is exactly the reaction I was going for.” Suzi playfully turned around on one foot in front of me. Her pirouette giving me a wonderful view of her at all angles. “so, let’s close our mouth’s and head over to get a nibble. Shall we?”
My jaw closed on its own volition once Suzi brought attention to its state.
No longer in danger of catching flies I walked with Suzi down to the main street nearby. One of the things that is nice about living in the city was being within walking distance of so many things to do.
Case in point, was Suzi leading us to a nearby Denny’s. Just one in a large grouping of diners true. But like the fast-food industry, diners have a comfortable sameness to them. Which means that I didn’t have to worry much about what I would find there or not.
On our way we did the obligatory ‘Hi’ and ‘How are you’ and other conversational avoidance points with the staff and others there that recognized Suzi. That is until after we had ordered and Suzi put her hands on the table to assume her ‘No Nonsense’ expression. Her startling deep blue eyes piercing and cold. Pinning me in place like a bug collectors pin to the corkboard beneath.
“What’s wrong Jayde.”
“Wrong?” I squirmed a little. “Why would anything be wrong?”
I was happy to go back to the way things were before the Dream. Before I had been so Very Stupid and stormed out of David’s after having reacted badly to Suzi’s horsing around.
Instead, it looked like I was going to be grilled by my friend. That she would not accept anything less than full disclosure. So the illusion of the much simpler small chat had now given way to a very un-comfortable space.
Once more I felt like an idiot.
That’s me. Jayde, terminally idiotic.
“Jayde. You’re my friend. I’ve known you for like ever. We used to bathe together as kids. You have been more skittery than a caffeinated squirrel when it comes to hanging out in one place more than ten minutes lately.”
I looked around uncomfortably. I really wanted to do nothing more than to gaze at her lovely face, but right now it was just too intense.
Finally I answered, while looking down at my hands. “I haven’t been sleeping well. That dream and all. My reflections are all wrong. And I seem to be pissing off my friends. I can’t do anything right and anytime I try I make a fool out of myself.”
“We’re not pissed off Jayde. We’re concerned for you. I didn’t think you’d have such a problem with the whole ‘Princess’ thing. I mean, it really isn’t that big a deal is it?”
“Suzi, for over a week now I don’t see ‘Me’ in the mirror. I see ‘Her’. I haven’t seen my own face in a reflection since that Stupid Dream!” I felt close to tears. Great Jayde… zero masculinity points scored on this one.
“Is that why you’ve been acting so menstrual lately?”
“Huh? I’m a guy, why would I act like I’m having a period?”
She laughed. Not a mocking laugh but one of the genuine full humored laughs that I loved so much. “Oh Jayde. You really are so cute sometimes.”
“Huh?”
“Your reaction. I love you Jayde. You really shouldn’t worry about stuff so much. That is probably what your subconscious is trying to tell you.”
I looked away and down at the floor. “I don’t think so. There’s more. Today someone else saw the reflection. She could see the female me.”
Suzi perked up. “What? Really? Was she a psychic?”
“Psycho maybe.” I ignored her slightly patronizing joking tone and recanted some of my experience with the beautiful but terrifying woman. Suzi especially loved the clothing description and I think was taking mental notes on how to make a similar outfit.
Somehow thought I didn’t think she was buying any of it. She had the same expressiveness that she used when we talked about a movie or a comic. At least it was good to finally talk openly about it. Even if I wasn’t believed.
Our meal had arrived and gone by the time I had highlighted the main points. Suzi had insisted on desert which was just now arriving. A root beer float for me and some supersized ice cream covered brownie instant diabetic shock monstrosity for her.
“I fear for your pancreas.”
“I fear for my hips Jayde, but after a story like that I just have to have something absolutely… orgasmic…” She licked her lips so suggestively that I couldn’t help but squirm in my seat. Didn’t she know how she affected me?
I wish I could affect her the same way.
Instead I sipped my float and did my best to rearrange myself as things down below weren’t in the most comfortable position right now.
“So, what should I do?”
Suzi licked off her latest spoonful carefully. Slowly and a bit seductively. It was worse than a TV drama, I swear.
“Well, if I was you, I’d first find out everything about ‘Her’ that I could.”
“But I don’t want to run into crazy angel lady. How would I find out anything without that happening?”
“Oh Jayde,” her tone was mirthful, “ I don’t mean the red haired bombshell. I’m talking about your reflection. You know, the slim and pretty tomboy?” She took another small bite, her eyes sparkling over her treat. “Without knowing more about your own self how can you figure out any of these other things?”
It wasn’t that what she said wasn’t valid. Or that I hadn’t thought along the exact same lines. It was that I was very uncomfortable about it. I guess I took a bit too long thinking a response because Suzi continued before I could reply.
She leaned forward conspiratorially. “So, have you gotten a good look yet? Like a detailed look? She may have some clues on her if you look close enough.” Suzi leaned back and held up a hand to tick off her points. “So, number one, you have a ‘Dream’ where you encounter all of nature and all of civilization. Which leads to number two, you walk along a path to a great big arch that is comprised of both. Then through this arch is your female doppelganger. You touch hands and switch bodies. That leads to number three, in which our valiant young hero, you, wake up and have your reflection replaced by her. That correct so far?”
I nodded, nervously sipping on my float.
“So, you haven’t seen yourself. Not even once, in the mirror since then. You haven’t experimented with her at all. And now you have a crazy beautiful angelic vixen chasing you down.” She ticked off the fourth finger then paused to take another bite of her own confection. “I don’t know Jayde. It sounds like you’re having one long wet dream that any hot-blooded young man would kill for.”
“It’s not like that!” I pouted.
“HA! It is totally like that. Hell, I know some women who would die to be in your shoes!” She leaned forward again. “Unless you’re gay. You’re not Gay are you Jayde? Cause if you are that totally explains some things.”
Suzi reached out and laid one of her hands on mine. The touch gentle and electric. The energy seemed to zap up my arm and sent my heart racing.
“It’s ok if you’re gay Jayde. I wouldn’t love our friendship and company any less.” She looked serious. Her tone not teasing in the slightest.
“Suzi…”
“In fact I know some really great guys I could hook you up with.” She was beginning to get into this somehow. Her excitement at putting things together starting to show.
“Suzi.” I tried to interject again.
Useless though. She continued her own excited build up. “We could throw a ‘Coming Out’ Party! I know just the place to hos –“
“SUZI!” I whisper shouted.
She stopped cold, curiosity shown clearly on her amazingly gorgeous face. Eyes inquiring as to why I stopped her.
“I’m not gay. I like girls.” I couldn’t stop myself now. If there was ever a chance to tell her, it was now. While all her attention was focused on me. While she was holding onto my hand. “In fact, I like you. A Lot.”
I was expecting a reaction. I got one, but one that confused me.
She pulled her hand back, her expression suddenly guarded. She regarded me like that for a time. I don’t really know how long, but it was long enough.
“So… not gay.” She stated calmly, as if completely ignoring the second part of my confession.
Heart sinking I shook my head slowly. “No. Never even crossed my mind.”
“Straight then.”
“Yessss….?”
She nodded, as if to herself before tucking into the remains of her desert. Without gusto, almost mechanically. As if very disappointed in something.
Me most likely.
“That’s alright then.” She finally said in a bored tone.
The type of tone that one would use when discussing the weather or the type of type font to use on a homework assignment.
Embarrassed and ashamed I could no longer look her in the eye. I knew that she understood what I meant, and her reaction told me all I needed to know about how really badly I had screwed up.
And I thought I had messed up back at David’s place.
I hoped that I could salvage something of our friendship. For now though I felt that it was not the time to do so.
My soda was only half finished. The ice-cream melted all the way through. It tasted like ash. Like the uncomfortable tension now standing between us. A barrier in place making neither of us want to speak or even look at each other.
It was time to go.
I stood up and dropped my last twenty-dollar bill. It wouldn’t cover the whole meal, but it covered my half twice over. It was the least I could do after ruining the meal. I’d have to subsist on rice and peanut butter until I got paid again on Friday, but it wasn’t something I hadn’t suffered through before.
With a murmured and lame goodbye, I left. I think I heard Suzi say something as I got up. I wasn’t sure though. It was tough to hear anything through the rushing sound in my ears. I walked away in shame leaving the diner and possibly my oldest friend and crush behind.
I am such an idiot.
To top it off the sky opened up and it began to rain in earnest.
At least the weather got what was going on.
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~Jayde~
I was dreaming again. It was the Dream but somehow not. Things were a bit more surreal. Still everything seamed lucid, so perhaps it was the Dream. Except that in this one I was walking next to ‘Her’. We also both wore clothes. My ratty jeans and tee combo. On her the same fit her properly.
I know we were having a conversation as we walked between the Jungle and the City. The path was also not straight. Rather it meandered to and fro. I would ask some question of her and she would ask a similar question of me. Neither of us ever had an answer.
Every now and then we would switch, and I would end up as Her and she would end up as Me. The conversation would continue.
Finally, I opened my eyes to a dark room. I was drenched in sweat. Sheets tangled around my legs and breath shallow in my chest. I struggled to remember what time or even day it was. Somehow, I pinged on it being Thursday. I think.
Going back to sleep was probably not going to happen anytime soon given the way my heart was racing. So I got up and went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. Initially I left the light off, after a while some of what Suzi had been advising finally got through. I would probably never understand any of this unless I confronted this.
Once the light was replaced as the bulb had still been burnt out, I looked at ‘Her’ in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and a little baggy. Hair bedraggled in a pixyish adorable way. Shirt just as drenched on her as on me. However, her nipples were very visible on her chest as the sweat chilled on our skin.
I gritted my teeth for a moment of indecision holding me in place. The expression on ‘Her’ face one that almost stole my breath it was so heart-wrenchingly sad yet determined.
“Grin and bear it Jayde?”
I watched her mouth mimic mine as I asked myself the question.
Mind made up I pulled my shirt up and over my head to let it drop to the floor next to me. I did my best to be analytical in my inspection. When I poked my pectoral area, she poked her small but well formed and perky breasts. I felt I had managed a good milestone here as I got more comfortable with ‘Her’ in the mirror. To be cool and levelheaded, and not to get lost in the fact that I was looking at the image of a very cute topless young woman.
My right hand reached out, almost of its own volition, and touched the mirror. For a second I could swear I felt flesh, but it must’ve been in my mind as it was just cold cool glass beneath my fingertips.
“Who are you?”
Though I asked, she of course remained silent.
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End Chapter 08
Oh… Jayde…. You lovable and sad idiot.
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