Chapter 8

For the first few minutes of the drive Ashley remained relatively quiet as she stared out of the window, pretty nervous about being seen and recognised despite how good she looked. After Jessy’s pep talk she realised it was all just in her head and that she should be proud of who she was. That she shouldn’t fear people getting to know the real her, but it was a task that was easier said than done.

Beatrice who saw how Ashley looked around nervously tried to lighten the mood a little by asking some questions, trying to engage Ashley in some small talk to distract her mind. “So how are you feeling Ashley? Are there any particular stores you want to go to? Did you have a favourite place to eat in mind?” were some of the questions Beatrice asked, all answered very shortly by Ashley who kept looking out of the window somewhat nervously. What had she gotten herself into? Was going to the mall like this really a good idea?

Once they left the neighbourhood Ashley managed to relax a little more. Out here the change was less likely that she would be seen by anyone she knew, at least while they were in the car. It was then she realised that she might have been a little too short with her mother and she felt bad for it. So far her mother had really been amazing, accepting, encouraging even and she was so grateful that she had dealt with Keira yesterday.

“Mom, I’m sorry for being so short, I guess I am just a little nervous. Also I still want to thank you for yesterday, for being so supportive and for dealing with Keira for me. You’re the best and I’m really looking forward to our day together despite it being a little scary.” Ashley softly said explaining herself to her mother, it was the least she could do after her mother had done so much for her.

“It’s okay sweetie, I understand. Well I mean I can’t imagine how hard this must all be for you, but I understand how you’d be nervous. Just know that I think you’re very brave and as far as your sister is concerned you are more than welcome. That girl should control her temper better and be more supportive of you. I’m also looking forward to this day a lot.” Beatrice said as she drove on, her concern exchanged for a big smile. Ashley’s words were heart-warming to her a clear indication that she hadn’t been too overbearing.

“Thanks again mom, as to what kind of shops I would like to do I have no idea. Why don’t you just show me some shops you think have a good style? I mean you’re always so well dressed.” Ashley said. She did have a few ideas, but although her mother was so supportive she still felt a little apprehensive showing just how much she knew about being a girl. Besides the thought of learning about new places was also rather exciting. Her mother did have a great style after all.

“Sounds great sweetie. We can just window shop a little and see where they have a nice collection. Lunch is still a while away and even after lunch we still have all afternoon if you want.” Beatrice excitedly explained. This was going to be so great she thought as she pulled up into the parking lot.

As Beatrice parked she noticed how nervous her son or now her daughter was looking. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for her to get out between all these people in the mall, but she was determined not to go back home like Ashley probably wanted now from the looks of it. She was certain she would blossom once she got into the flow of it, just like she had at the shoot the day before.

“We’re here sweetie, what do you say about stopping at this nice coffee place first? A girl can’t shop on an empty stomach right? I bet you’re going to love the place, their coffee is amazing and their croissants are to die for. You simply have to try one.” Beatrice exclaimed with a big bright smile as she got out of the car. Setting a clear first goal might help to get Ashley to open up more. She kind of wanted to push her a little bit because she knew she would enjoy their day, it remained somewhat tricky though. She was afraid of pushing too much.

Walking around to the other side of the car Beatrice opened Ashley’s door. “Are you coming sweetie?” She asked as nice as she possibly could, trying to act as completely normal to put Ashley at ease.

Ashley looked around the parking lot rather nervously. It was still pretty early, and there were lots of cars already. The outfit that had seemed like a dream choice back home now felt awfully exposing, maybe she had better chosen something more androgynous. In any case it was too late to go back now. She couldn’t disappoint her mother who was being so sweet, or at least that’s what she told herself. It was easier for her to convince herself not to disappoint her mother than it was for her to convince herself that it would all be okay. She shouldn’t do this for anyone but herself and she shouldn’t care about what others might think, but that was easier said than done.

Taking a deep breath Ashley eventually got out of the car, surprised as her mother nearly instantly hooked her arm into hers before walking off not leaving much room for hesitation and second guesses. “Let’s go Ashley, our coffees are waiting for us.” Beatrice said as she headed straight for the entrance. While Ashley felt the overpowering urge to hide she was glad her mother took charge like this, otherwise they probably wouldn’t get very far at all.

Since she wasn’t about to ask her mother to go back there was no other option than to at least try and look confident. It was probably for the best as trying to hide behind her mother would only lead to more suspicion. The saying fake it till you make it did hold merit after all. Straightening her back and raising her head Ashley tried her best to look confident like all the girls her age she looked up to. A change Beatrice noticed which she could only applaud.

Keeping this confident walk up was getting harder as the drew nearer to the entrance and there started to be more people around them, but Ashley forced herself to keep it up. Much to her surprise no one really paid her the kind of attention she was fearing. Most of the real looks she got were from guys and not looks that told her they thought she was a freak, but actually looks that told her they were checking her out.

It made her feel strange but good as well, being checked out and admired by these guys, some of them being rather cute. Although she wouldn’t want anything to do with them as they were checking her out while being here with their girlfriends. She had always kind of admired the male physique, not as something she wanted, but rather as something she wanted to be with. It was yet another one of her secrets. She might have a girlfriend herself, but just like her workouts that was more of a cover up than true love.

Surely she liked the girl a lot and they got along great, but not in a way she felt like a boyfriend should love his girlfriend. She didn’t manage to summon those same intense butterflies in her stomach as when a handsome guy checked her out. In all honesty she was kind of ashamed that she had used Kelly, his girlfriend as a cover up.

Their arrival at the coffee bar her mother had been talking about brought enough distraction to go back to the present. They took place at a table near the edge so there was a good view of the people strolling by through the mall’s hall. A girl about Ashley’s age soon arrived to take their order, just like everyone so far she didn’t look surprised or suspicious upon seeing Ashley. She just looked at them as any mother and daughter out for the day. “Good morning, what can I get you girls.” She pleasantly asked.

“We’ll both have a latte macchiato and one of your famous croissants please.” Beatrice ordered for the both of them as the girl politely nodded her head before going off to get their order. Ashley just looked over the crowd of people passing by kind of amazed about how well everything had gone so far.

“So Ashley, how are you feeling so far? As far as I can tell you’ve got nothing but looks of admiration so far. No one thinks strangely of you not even the girl who took or order saw anything but a gorgeous young woman. What I’m trying to say Ashley is that you need to worry a less, just have fun, oh and enjoy breakfast, sorry that I took the liberty of ordering both our breakfasts, but it’s just the best order you can put in at this place you simply have to try it.” Beatrice said trying to get Ashley to relax.

It felt good to hear it from her mother as well, confirmation that she hadn’t been imagining things at all, most people really didn’t seem to car about who she was and how she was dressed, and those that did care to look twice mainly did so in a positive way. “It’s strange mom, I don’t know whether to be relieved or shocked, but things really have been going a lot better than I thought they would have so far for which I’m really grateful.” Ashley said visibly more relaxed than in the car already, despite the fact that they were now in plain view of everyone.

“I might have to hold your arm a little tighter though if I see the way most of these guys look at you. Wouldn’t want you to run off and leave me shopping alone now would I?” Beatrice teased a little with a slight giggle and a wink, the fact that a lot of guys had checked Ashley out hadn’t slipped her observation either.

“Mom!” Ashley exclaimed in a half annoyed mock angry tone before bursting into giggles herself. A light blush spread across her face as it was a bit embarrassing to have such things pointed out by her mother, but if she was honest, she kind of loved the playful teasing. It just felt right for some reason as the both of them shared in the laughter, only interrupted when the girl came back to serve their breakfast.

Taking a bite of the croissant Ashley had to give it to her mother. “This thing is really great, mom, I’m glad you took me here.” She commented enjoying her breakfast already feeling a lot more confident. The more people passed by the more relaxed she started to grow. It was constant reassurance that she fit in rather well which was great.

Beatrice herself was very pleased with how everything had turned out so far. Their day had gone off to a way better start than she had expected. It just felt strangely natural in a way, pleasantly so, then again Ashley looked rather natural as well and she was starting to blossom yet again which was all she could really hope for.

“No Ashley, it’s me who’s glad that you wanted to join me. I’ve always loved shopping and it’s so nice to have a daughter who enjoys it as well.” Beatrice said rather genuinely. Keira had never liked shopping, dragging her along had always been a chore. This really was very nice and refreshing.

It touched Ashley, the way her mother had so genuinely called her by a girl’s name and most importantly how she had called her a daughter. She was so glad she had taken this risk and she was so grateful to her mother for slightly pushing her where she hesitated for a moment.

Breakfast passed by with some small talk as Ashely grew more and more comfortable being at the mall. Eventually they finished their breakfast and it was time to get some real shopping going. The first shop they passed, one that offered sport gear instantly grabbed Beatrice’s interest. “Ah here we are, trust me if I say that you are going to love stores like these if you decide to pursue a modelling career and otherwise if I might add. Workout clothes might not be the prettiest things out there, although I’d say some pieces can be gorgeous. They are definitely the most comfortable clothes out there. Perfect to relax at home or to change into after a shoot. Besides as a model you would need to work out regularly as well.”

“No arguments here, I’m sure a pair of leggings and a sports bra is nicer than whatever you’d encounter in the male section.” Ashley said, a slight nervous tremor in her voice. She was starting to feel more relaxed being around people, but this was the first store they’d do and you couldn’t buy something you hadn’t tried on right? It was exactly that trying on part that worried her. Her breast forms weren’t really attached so she doubted she could really pull off a sports bra for all to see. Her mother didn’t look at all worried though and with how supportive she had been already the least she earned was Ashley’s trust towards this.

Knowing Ashley would probably be nervous Beatrice had come well prepared. She had contacted the stylist from the shoot to get all of Ashley’s exact measurements so they wouldn’t need to search endlessly and so Ashley could avoid the potentially embarrassing process of getting her measurements taken.

As they roamed the store Beatrice left Ashley as much freedom as she could, only suggesting a few outfits herself while letting Ashley pick out every outfit she wanted to try on. By the time they headed to the changing rooms they both carried an arm load of leggings, sports bras, tank tops and sweaters. All in bright colours or with a special design to them, a big difference with the rather dull male workout clothes she had always owned and which all looked the same.

“If you’ve changed into an outfit please just give me a call so I can check it out. I’d love to see how they look on you, I’ll join you in the changing room unless you want to step out of course.” Beatrice offered leaving the choice completely to Ashley, to leave it up to her whether she was confident enough to step out or not.

Just like Ashely had feared the sports bras were a little too tricky to head out in leaving too much cleavage bare and making the detached breast forms way too obvious. She was really grateful to her mother to leave her the opportunity to remain in the safety of the changing room. She did want to show off her outfits and she did want to get a second opinion, but she could bring herself to head out in something that showed cleavage due to the circumstances.

Trying everything on ended up taking quite a while, but it was a blast Ashley was loving the chance to try on so many different outfits in such rapid succession, checking how they looked on her. Like wise Beatrice was loving the opportunity to give her honest opinion on everything, good and bad, pointing out how certain special stylistics didn’t look as nice as they thought they had or how certain thing looked simply perfect on Ashley. She was enjoying herself so much that she even honestly forgot Ashley was anything but her daughter which in turn helped some of her own awkwardness or reservations towards treating Ashley, trying her best not to offend her. Their interactions grew a lot more natural, their bond flourishing just like Ashley’s confidence was.

In the end Ashley had tried on at least two dozen different workout outfits that would work well for all seasons. From those she had selected six different ones to buy. While she didn’t feel comfortable being seen in just a sports bra Beatrice still insisted on buying the matching ones of each outfit. “Think of it like this sweetie, if you workout at our home gym no one will notice, besides even under one of the tank tops you will still need something to support your breasts.” Beatrice said cryptic enough so no one at the store could figure out she meant the breast forms while still allowing Ashley to understand what she meant.

Her mother was right of course, and she couldn’t really pass the opportunity to ger full matching outfits either. She was looking forward to working out now more than ever. While all of her outfits would be nice, her favourites were definitely the summer ones. The short spandex shorts would look simply amazing paired with knee high compression socks and she really did like showing off her legs and butt. Ashley was aware she had a nice pair of legs and a nice bottom. Unlike the breasts they weren’t fake either and since no one had called her out on being a guy yet her confidence had grown to the point where she actually like the idea of showing off her assets a little.

“Thank you so much for the new clothes mom.” Ashley exclaimed, sounding genuinely excited and happy as they left the store, being in public for some time now and their first real store they had done as mother and daughter had really broken the ice. Ashley was getting increasingly comfortable just being out and about and it showed in her enthusiasm. She no longer held back out of fear and worry.

“It’s my pleasure sweetie, I mean it. Our trip has been such fun already. Oh why don’t we go there next? A girl can never have too many pairs of shoes now can she?” Beatrice said as she spotted a shoe store across the hall.

“I don’t know mom, maybe it is better to shop some outfits first so we can pick up shoes to go with them later.” Ashley commented, not that she wasn’t excited about shoe shopping, she just wouldn’t know what to look for just yet.

Beatrice was slightly taken aback by the comment. It did most certainly make sense though, she just hadn’t thought about this. “You’re absolutely right sweetie, silly me. I just forgot you don’t have a wardrobe full of cute outfits just yet. Of course we need to shop outfits before shopping shoes, you’re most definitely right. Lucky me to have you along.” Beatrice laughed as they went deeper into the mall’s halls in search of a clothing store that caught Ashley’s eye.

Once they found one the same process as in the workout store followed, only this time Ashley seemed more vocal and confident voicing which clothes she wanted and which she didn’t want. One thing that really stood out about he choices was how she only seemed to go for skirts and dresses of all sorts. The only pants she selected were some cute shorts. Ashely had worn pants for way too long and now that the cat was finally out of the bag she didn’t want to return to wearing pants. At least not when she got to be Ashley. Sure girls jeans were cuter than the ones for guys, but the came nowhere near close to beating dresses.

Just like with the workout clothes the same trend emerged in Ashley’s choice of outfits each top and dress was a little conservative when it came to showing cleavage, but the skirts were on the more provocative side showing plenty of leg and, just like the shorts which were all tight enough to further enhance Ashley’s bottom. While these could be cold in winter a pair of thick tights and boots could easily fix that.

In the clothing store Ashley’s reservations towards showing off her outfits outside of her own cubicle also changed. None of the clothes she tried on were treated privately. In fact she was proud to show off all the outfits they had selected out in the store where everyone could see her. While her mother carried on with her honest opinions Ashley’s pride and enthusiasm while showing off the outfits radiated to the point where other women shopping there felt inclined to help provide feedback while they were in line for a stall of their own or were waiting for a friend to emerge from her stall.

It was a huge boost to Ashley’s confidence. No one treated her any differently, she really felt like one of the girls here, hell she was even eager for second opinions besides her mother’s and profusely thanked the women who chipped in with their own feedback. Being accepted in such a manner really allowed Ashley to blossom and show her true colours. Just like during the shoot her confidence only increased as time went on.

By the time they had gone through every outfit they had selected just short of two dozen outfits which would provide plenty of combinations when mixed and matched. “Thank you so much for my new clothes mom, you are the absolute best!” Ashley said with a quick peck on her mother’s cheek as they checked out. They each had two full arm loads of shopping bags to carry.

“You’re very welcome sweetie, it was my pleasure. Heavens would you look at the time, I guess we better head to the car to relieve ourselves of these bags. Time has flown by which isn’t that surprising when having so much fun. We can grab a quick lunch after freeing up our arms as we’ll definitely need more arms if we still need to hit up that shoe store.” Beatrice laughed, absolutely radiant herself as Ashley quickly agreed.

Today had been a day Beatrice wouldn’t soon forget. The kind of day she had always dreamed of having with her daughter, little did she know she had always had a daughter who loved shopping for cute clothes just as much as she did. Shopping with Ashley had been an absolute delight.

Especially in that last store Beatrice had been so proud. There were a few other mothers shopping there with their daughters and all had complimented her on what an absolute delight her daughter Ashley was, so radiant she simply put a smile on everyone’s face. As nice as that had been to hear it had also shown Beatrice some of her shortcomings. As the other mothers shared stories about their daughters she couldn’t really join in. She had only know Ashley for about a day and a half so far something she desperately wanted to rectify. She definitely hoped she would get to spend more time with her new found daughter.

The joyous mother daughter pair with their arms loaded with shopping bags quickly made their way through the mall’s halls. Eagerly chatting and laughing as they made notes about all the windows they passed from the stores they still wanted to visit on their way to the car. “It looks like we’ll need a quick lunch mom if we want to stop at all of those stores.” Ashley jokingly said.

“That or we’ll have to come back another day.” Beatrice eagerly retorted.

“Hmm, why not both?” Came Ashley’s reply as they both laughed loudly among themselves attracting quite a bit of attention, but neither of them really cared. While they were joking around Beatrice couldn’t help but notice Ashley paying some more attention to the guys eye her up than before. After how Ashley had softly scolded her for pointing out guys during breakfast she didn’t bring it up again though. She felt as if her new daughter would tell her when she felt ready.

After a quick stop at the car to lighten the burden of all their bags Ashley and Beatrice made their way to the food court where they both ordered a simple shrimp salad, a light, but delicious lunch. It was finally time for Beatrice to breach the subject that they had initially came here to discuss. It was kind of strange how an initial lunch to potentially discuss a modelling deal had turned into such a long nice mother daughter day. Beatrice didn’t mind at all. The potential contract was only an after thought by now, Beatrice now cared more about getting to know her daughter better.

“So Ashley, you remember what I brought up yesterday? Potentially launching your modelling career? Before you say anything, I want you to know that you can choose whatever makes you feel best. This is in no way shape or form mandatory and I won’t love or accept you any less if you don’t feel comfortable with it. I just think you could make an amazing model and if you were willing to try I would love to give you all the support to succeed that I possibly can.” Beatrice said realising that she might have pushed Keira a little too hard on that front, trying to make her something she wasn’t or didn’t want to be. She was a hard business woman, but there were things that mattered more in life her kids being one of those things. She was not going to make the same mistake twice.

“Uhm well I don’t know mom, I don’t think I would make a very good model, or that any company would even want me to model for them. Tell you what though, if you would be able to find me a contract, if that company you brought up wants me I’m definitely willing to try.” Ashley said a little insecure. She did want to be a model, but she was lacking the self-confidence. As much as she had enjoyed herself today, as much as it had allowed her to really feel like a girl, she wasn’t quite confident that she would pass in front of a close up camera.

“That’s a deal Ashley so let me get this straight, I have your permission to be your agent and actively look for contracts. If I find a contract you will happily give it your all to execute it to the best of your capabilities? Most importantly YOU want this? I don’t want you saying you are willing to try because you think that is what I want to hear Ashley, I won’t look for any contracts unless that it what you really want.” Beatrice said, cautious that Ashley wasn’t doing this for the wrong reasons. It was wonderful to see how she had blossomed being a girl out in public and she didn’t want to ruin this by putting pressure on her.

“I really want you to look for contracts mom, I would be happy to model, I just fear that I won’t be any good at it and that no one will want me.” Ashley said firmly with a light blush. She couldn’t believe she had just confessed this to her mom, but in a sense it felt good as well.

“You will do great, I just know it, you have your mother’s talent after all, that much was clear during your trial shoot. We should be able to put together one of the best portfolio’s I ever had to work with, with the results that shoot yielded. You better clear up your agenda cause everyone will want to work with you.” Beatrice only half joked, she mainly wanted to grow Ashley’s self-confidence as that seemed to be what held her back the most. She hoped that in time and with a few success’s Ashley could just start seeing that she had nothing to worry about and have fun with her shoots, just like she had started to have fun with their shopping trip.

“Well mom, as my agent it would be your job to make sure I’m not over worked. I mean if I’m actually going to be as good as you claim you wouldn’t want me to burn out.” Ashley said with a wink, returning the joke. She doubted that her mother was right, but then again she had doubted if going out dressed like a girl was a good idea as well and that had turned out absolutely amazing.

Finishing up their lunch the mother daughter duo continued on their shopping spree, trying literally every store that had caught their interest. There was only a slight break in their afternoon when they needed to make another trip to the car to unload their bags and when they went for a slight refreshment.

They roamed the mall right until closing time. There had been only one awkward moment all afternoon and it was when they hit up the lingerie store. Ashley loved lingerie, but wearing something sexy, nearly naked, especially with how the breasts weren’t properly attached and blended like Jessy had accomplished yesterday was just awkward. Not wanting to push Ashely, Beatrice had respected her wish to stay alone in the dressing room. She had thought about arguing that she had seen her in lingerie during the shoot, but the last thing she wanted was to push her.

By the time they left the mall, Ashley had an outfit for pretty much every situation, a full girly wardrobe which had cost a small fortune to buy all at once, but it was so worth it. It helped a little with Beatrice’s feelings of guilt over never having seen the signs. Besides, with how comfortable Ashley had gotten through out the day she was quite certain that it was a worthy investment, Ashley would surely get a lot of use out of her new wardrobe now that she felt comfortable that she could pull it off in public.

As both women eagerly chatted away on their way home they forgot all about Keira and how they had basically snuck out of the house this morning not to have to deal with Keira. They had had so much fun all day that this morning seemed ages ago.

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