At first I thought he was another handsome customer. You know the kind - a cocktail of rugged and kempt in skinny jeans and a loose knit sweater. His eyes twinkled, and he smiled a shy smile. A girl could fall hard if she wasn’t careful.

“Emily, right?”

Realisation landed with a proverbial slap. I knew him. More than that, he was a remnant of a life gone by. Different names, different faces, among other things.

“Drew?”

Of all the coffee shops, on all the west coast, he stepped into mine.

He looked down to hide the width of his smile. “You look good,” he said, daring to sneak a peek. He hesitated when scrolling down my chest. No points for guessing why.

I tried not to blush. It’s not like he called me ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’ or other words that make women swoon. Besides, this was the kid who once got his bike stuck in a tree. Don’t ask me how, but the legend lives on.

“What brings you here?” I asked.

Silly question. Person plus coffee shop means one of two things; they need a java hit, or they’ve come to hit on the barista. Drew would never. I’d yet to meet a man who fell for a girl they remember being a boy.

“Your Mom told me you work here now, and I was in town, so..."

My chest thumped like a bass drum. I’d moved away to leave my old life behind, and now a piece of it appeared from the blue. That should have bothered me, but it wasn’t panic or shame that swam in my belly.

The customer behind tilted his head, thirsty for a mid-morning fix. Anything standing in the way of his order was intolerable.

My shoulders stiffened. “Can I, uh, get you anything?”

“Just a double espresso,” he said. “And you can tell me what time you get off work. I mean, if you’d like to catch up, hang out. That’s not awkward, is it?”

Every instinct told me it was a come on. No, it couldn’t be. This was Drew! Sure, he’d gone from frog to prince in under a decade - I’d gone through changes of my own - but that didn’t change the kids we were.

Another customer grinned like she was watching a real life fairy tale unfold. If only.

***

If you asked me at fourteen if I had feelings for Drew, the answer would have been ‘no’. That would have been gay, and, by virtue of the unspoken boy code, wrong. Except that I wasn’t a boy - at least on the inside - and Drew, skinny dork that he was, was as funny, as sweet and smart as anyone could be. The other girls didn’t see it, but I did; and even though we’d never be together, I got to be his best friend. That was enough.

I don’t know how many weekends we sank into Mario Kart. He played Yoshi, and I played Peach for reasons which were less obvious in those days. Then my Mom would kick us out of the house, and we’d explore the backstreets on our bikes. We’d have movie nights, and laugh for hours when we made up new lines.

He never left me, but the day after graduation I left him. I had to be a girl, and I had to do it somewhere that history didn’t drag at my heels. It was for the best, I think. Any feelings I had would never be realised. How could they? Pretty sure a guy like him would never go for a girl like me. Girls like me are... complicated.

Anyway!

There was the time I told him about my Dad’s porn stash. I wasn’t all that interested, but Drew was overcome with curiosity. We’d seen naked girls in magazines, but sex on tape was new. Who cares if they were actors, grunting, squealing, and pretending to cum? Not even the well hung apes or the artificial blondes would sway him.

We waited until we were home alone. I don’t know why I went along with it. Maybe, I think, I wanted to impress him. Maybe it was another desire, hidden beneath the surface.

Drew and I sat on opposite ends of the room, always staring ahead. We agreed in silence; what happened in that room stayed in that room. ‘Bro code’ or something like that. I knew well enough to play along.

The movie started. We fast forwarded whatever passed for a plot. Something about a pizza delivery guy and ‘extra sausage’. How that passed as sexy was a mystery to me, but Drew seemed to like it. Tits and ass was more than enough, along with an eager woman on her knees.

Little gasps betrayed him. It took all I had not to look, but the soft slapping of skin made it all the more difficult. It didn’t stop the flash of images in my mind of Drew working himself into a tizzy, racing toward climax.

Suddenly, the awkward appendage between my legs stood. This thing that had always been so alien screamed for attention - not like the boners in class that were just there, but a hardness aching with want.

What I wouldn’t give to be the woman on her knees, sat in front of this gorgeous young man, pleasing him any way I could. Who cared if it was gay? Words can never carry the weight of the lust that pressed onto me.

I came, and he came, and then it was done. We cleaned up, tucked ourselves away, and never spoke about it. Just two guys stroking it to a porno, right?

Yeah, right.

***

I hung up my apron and Drew was there, waiting. If it were anyone else it might have been creepy, but despite myself I was glad to see him. How could I resist that puppy dog smile hiding behind a veneer of cool? As kids it made him seem like a dork, but now he had the confidence of a man. I wonder how many girls that charm had taken.

He plucked the jacket from my hands and fed my arms into the sleeves. Ever the gentleman. Did he do this for other guys as well? Then again, I wasn’t a guy. Maybe he knew that, or maybe he was throwing me a bone.

Either way...

“You want to get something to eat?”

***

There was nothing romantic about the Soda Spot diner, but romance was the last thing on my mind. An eight hour shift after skipping breakfast begged for french fries and a garden salad, and nothing - not even a long lost bestie - would keep us apart.

Drew stole glances as we ate. All things considered, I guess there was plenty to stare at. But his shy grin said that there was more to it, try as he might to cover it up.

“What?” I asked.

He nodded toward my fries. “The way you eat,” he said.

“What about it?”

Funny the things that slip under your notice. Once upon a time I would have stuffed fries by the handful down my gullet. Now, years later, I picked them up, one at a time, and tore them into petite chunks.

I blushed. God, I really had changed! More than even I knew. Somewhere in the pool of new womanhood I’d gained more than a voice; but habits, mannerisms - so much that the boy of once upon a time had vanished utterly.

“You look good,” he said.

I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. Stop smiling! “Thanks.”

“You’re like a whole different person,” he said. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were your own hot cousin.”

My heart stopped. “You... think I’m hot?”

Drew beamed. “Come on. Like you didn’t know. Being a girl suits you. You were born for it.”

He had to be flirting. No, he couldn’t be. Drew was like a brother - or he was, a long time ago in a town far away. That didn’t change the fact he was a handsome man pulling the right moves. Like I said, a girl could fall hard.

“I clean up nicely,” I said, “but this is just my work uniform.”

Oh, how I wanted to swap the polo shirt and slacks for a little black dress, wearing more than my everyday make-up. If only he could see me at my best, when I really wanted to impress a date. And how good he would look in a suit! My god!

Drew bit his lip, and summoned the courage to reach across the table. He took my hand and stroked it with his thumb. His skin was soft but firm, and glided along the underside of my palm. One small touch and I was like putty.

“Emily,” he said, “you’re beautiful.”

This couldn’t be real. Was this a dream? He was definitely a dream, and I found him in a place least likely.

***

We walked through the park, like couples do. No bikes, no skateboards, no rollerblades; just two adults enjoying the company, watching the sun set over skyscrapers. The early autumn gave the air a bite, and something to do with my hands by burying them in my pockets.

Drew told me his life story so far; about his urban design degree, and lofty goals of building tiny houses for people without homes. One of his mentors called it ‘quixotic’, which he didn’t understand either at first. Not that it mattered. People should want to make the world better.

Somewhere in our wandering I relaxed, letting my arms fall to the side. His sudden gasp said he was as shocked when our fingers brushed. Sparks jumped, and a surge of excitement poised in our chests.

It was my turn to be brave. My hand leapt the ravine between us. Fingers danced the length of the other, and weaved together in intimate embrace.

Drew’s breath was still with anticipation. I don’t know if he planned the evening to go this way, but here we were, entangled in a moment our teenage selves never dreamed of.

“I’m really glad to see you,” I said.

‘I don’t want this night to end,’ I didn’t say.

***

A taxi ride later and we were standing outside my apartment. The driver idled, knowing better than to interrupt a goodbye. Most dates don’t get my address on a first encounter, but these were unique circumstances.

Drew stepped out of the cab and kept a respectful distance. Even after flirting and holding hands he didn’t want to presume too much. Maybe, like me, he didn’t know what to do. Every girl is different, and a lot of men don’t know the signals.

“I fly out in a couple of days,” he said. “If you’re not busy tomorrow night, maybe we could..."

Suddenly we were back in junior year, where Drew floundered before a crush whose name I don’t remember. Each word hesitated, dreading rejection, humiliation, and worse. High school was no place for feelings to enter the open.

But we weren’t in high school. Not anymore.

“You could always come up,” I said, almost like a question.

Drew paused, caught between a smile and uncertainty. I don’t know what I was doing, inviting him beyond the threshold, but the weight bore down on him the same. What happened next might change things forever.

“Are... are you sure?”

“Just go with her! You’re clearly gaga for each other,” the cabbie said. “Tell you what. I’ll make the decision for you. Have a nice night, lovebirds!”

And with that he drove off, leaving us alone on the stoop. Of all the nerve! He deserved a piece of my mind. Yet neither of us chose to dwell. Something lingered, something unspoken, more important than anything else.

Drew inched closer. “You know you’re a very dear friend,” he said.

Gravity beckoned me to him, and I answered. “So are you.”

Our lips crashed, and my head swam. His warmth filled my mouth, and I pawed at him for more. First kisses are magic at the best of times, but this? And because it was him. For this moment and probably the rest of the night I did fall for him, just as hard as I feared.

***

Somewhere in the tidal wave we found my apartment, crashed through the hall, and tumbled over the arm of the sofa. We giggled and we laughed like a couple of kids; but being a kid was never this fun, never this hot.

I wrapped my legs around him, claiming him as my own, feeling his hardness press into my thigh. High school locker rooms were a personal hell, but I remembered Drew and how impressive he was. Oh, how he’s grown since then!

His sweater and undershirt came off in a flash, revealing a soft mat of hair trailing down his belly. The smell of him was intoxicating, mingled with crisp, woody cologne. Were he not on top of me, I could have fallen to my knees and worshipped him all over.

Drew attacked my neck with the gentlest of bites, careful not to leave any marks. His hands ran up my sides, kneading corners overlooked by most lovers. Soon they found my breasts and his fingers sank into them. His lips followed, greedily tasting the fruits of my womanhood.

He slowed, then pulled back. I whined, wanting more, but the look on his face...

“Sorry,” he panted. “Look, I think we should talk before we... you know.”

Disappointment stood at the ready. It wasn’t my first ‘cold feet’ speech. A guy thinks he wants something, but as soon as clothes go flying it’s a whole different story.

Maybe he couldn’t get past the awkward boy who followed him like a lost puppy. I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

“You want to know what I’ve got down there,” I said, clinically.

Drew looked away, but nodded, too shy to say the words out loud. Figures.

I sat up, and held his hand. This was the moment of truth. Could he be with a girl with an unconventional body?

“I haven’t had surgery,” I said.

Drew nodded. “So you have a-”

“Clit,” I said. “It’s an extra large clitoris. That’s all.”

He sidled closer to me, pulled my legs across his lap, and fed his arm down the small of my back. God, he felt good. A part of me dared to hope, dangerous as that was. It’d been a long time since a man touched me like that, and that it should be him...

“I understand if that makes you uncomfortable,” I lied.

Drew shook his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just... different, is all.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Then he looked up, and smiled that puppy dog smile. “I want to make you feel good,” he said, “but I’m worried that I don’t know how.” Drew winced like he’d just torn off a band aid.

My heart leapt. I threw myself at him. Just when I thought he couldn’t get cuter!

“Don’t worry,” I gasped between kisses. “I’ll show you.”

***

We slowed our pace and moved to the bedroom. I led him by the hand and sat him on the mattress. Piece by piece I stripped out of my work clothes down to my underwear. His eyes lingered at the subtle bulge of my tuck, though he tried to hide it. Even in this intimate space he struggled to be polite.

My bra fell to the floor, and I captivated him with my breasts. They weren’t large, per se - still growing after three years - but they were mine, and I was proud. No man had ever complained, and Drew was no different. He was drawn to them like a moth to a flame.

I straddled his lap, closing the space between us. He dived into my chest, hungry for my skin. In the grip of lust I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and craved him all the more for it. Drew was ravenous! Sinking his teeth into this part and that, marking an aimless path along me.

My fingers raked through his hair and twisted. I pulled his head back and forced him into a kiss. His stubble tickled my lips, making them numb in the most delicious way.

I stood and backed away from the bed. Now was the moment of truth.

“Are you ready?”

Drew nodded. His skinny jeans betrayed at least one eager part of him.

My thumbs slipped under the band of my panties, and with little hesitation ran them down my legs. Drew was mesmerised by the half-hard length that dangled between my legs; with lust or horror, it was too soon to tell.

I braced. “Well?”

He blinked. “It’s not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Something different. Nothing so...”

“So..."

“Pretty,” he said.

A shiver ran through my body. My clit had been called a lot of things - ‘sexy’, ‘hot’, ‘fucking gorgeous’ - but never ‘pretty’. Even after all this time, feminine words were a thrill. Any lingering doubts evaporated on the spot. For tonight, I was his girl.

Drew slid off the bed and to his knees, hypnotised.

“Can I touch it?”

I bit my lip and nodded. He could do anything he wanted, so long as he looked at me like that. My clit strained under his attention, and jumped to meet his hand. It wasn’t hard like guys get hard, but the glide of his fingers along the underside was no less incredible.

Drew looked up to study the undercurrent of my gasps. He didn’t dare to stroke me like he would himself. After all, a clitoris and a penis are only alike in so many ways. He understood, I think - this did not belong to a man.

“You can kiss it if you like,” I said.

He lifted the tip and considered it. That act carried meaning for men, and changed the way they saw themselves; but it didn’t stop Drew for long. His lips parted to accept me into his mouth. He was warm and wet, and with the swirling of his tongue sparked a need. He parted wider, but I held him back.

“Don’t treat it like a dick,” I gasped. “Just the tip, please.”

Drew did as instructed, and with more confidence than before. A clit he knew what to do with, and though mine was more swollen others, he made sense of it in no time.

Fuck. Why couldn’t we have done this sooner?

He stopped for breath and searched for approval. “How's that?”

I leaned down to kiss him. There’s something so incredibly erotic about kissing after oral sex. If you ask me, it’s only polite. How rare it was to indulge. Drew, it seemed, truly was a gentleman, through and through.

“You’re a natural,” I giggled.

He blushed. What a cutie.

“This is what you like?” he asked.

Oh, how beautiful he was on his knees. It was almost painful to move on.

“I like it okay,” I said.

“But what do you love?” he asked, almost like a dare. His determination stoked a fire hotter than most. This was a night to remember, and then some.

***

I lay on the bed, exposed, wearing only a thirsty grin. Drew was fixated as I parted my legs, piecing together what I was asking. The picture was clear when I reached into the drawer for condoms and lube.

“You came prepared,” he said.

“One must be in the event of a handsome gentleman caller.”

Drew narrowed his gaze as he undid the clasp of his belt. This was not how he expected this meeting to go, but he wasn’t about to shirk the chance. He drew a sharp breath, watching as I squeezed the lube onto my fingers, guiding them below my clit, and sliding them with ease inside.

The cold lube tickled my ring in anticipation for what was to come. God, I was desperate to be filled! And to lay my hands on the thing to fill me.

He dropped his jeans and jockey shorts in one movement, revealing a cock more beautiful than any I’d ever laid eyes on. Maybe it was his girth, or because he’d bothered to groom it; or maybe it was by virtue of belonging to Drew. All that mattered was the need yawning inside me.

“I want you to fuck me,” I said.

Drew reached for the condom, opened the packet and rolled it down his length. His breathing was heavy, heated by arousal coursing through him. There’s that look a man gets when his primal side springs to life, and Drew’s was on the verge. He lubed his cock and strangled the base, aiming it like a spear.

I met him halfway, throwing my ankles over his shoulders, lifting myself and rolling back. He plunged into me with all his weight behind him, ramming his tip into the swollen button inside me. From the very first moment I convulsed around him, crying with sensual pain and delight, begging without words for him to thrust.

His hands claimed my hips with a vice grip, and my legs wrapped his waist just as tight. I’d never been a pillow princess before, and I wasn’t about to start. Top or bottom, when someone comes to fuck you, you meet them halfway.

He drove into me, pressing my button again and again, building the sensation behind my clit, inching toward an explosion. I squeezed, holding onto him for dear life, pulling him deeper.

“I need you so fucking bad!” I cried.

Drew pistoned like a man possessed. Sweat flew from his brow and sizzled on my flesh. All the while he drank in the sight of me, wanting him, grabbing my tits and twisting my nipples. We were mad with lust, and so given to it that time lost all meaning.

Soon he slowed. Drew grunted and pulsed, filling the condom inside me. I didn’t have to cum to adore the sight. Being taken was more than enough. The weight of his body on top was a dream come true.

I held for as long as I could before his cock turned soft. How long had I waited for this moment? And now we’d connected as only lovers can.

***

Drew collapsed onto his back and pulled me into his arms. We kissed lazily, delighting in the afterglow. My fingers ran through the hairs on his chest, probing the muscles beneath. His arm scooped the small of my back, drawing me into him, where I belonged.

He murmured and grinned. “Was it good for you?”

I curled into a ball and inhaled him. Not everybody appreciates a rugged, masculine scent, but a girl like me can’t help but indulge. Who’d have thought the scrawny kid I knew in high school would grow into a man like this?

“Fucking. Perfect,” I told him, and it was.

Drew raked his fingers down my back and sighed. “I had a great time,” he said, “but I didn’t hear you cum.”

“That’s because I didn’t,” I said. “It’s hard to cum from anal, but I don’t have to cum to have an amazing time.”

He turned, lifting himself from the post-orgasmic haze and pressed into me with a kiss. There was that glint again, tempting me with a second round. If anyone would find my ever-elusive orgasm, it was him.

“Once I start something, I don’t stop ‘til I finish,” he said.

How can anybody say no to that?

“Well, there is something you can do,” I told him, and reached into a drawer by the bedside. In it was a large purple toy with what some might call an impressive array of settings. By the look on Drew’s face, he’d never seen anything like it.

“And that’ll get you there?”

I nodded.

Drew considered the toy, and stared it down the same way he would a wild bull. Any other man might have been scared off, but Drew was special; of this I’m sure.

“Hand me the lube,” he said.

***

I woke alone to the fear of last night being a dream, or worse, Drew having left without saying goodbye. That fear was dispelled by the scent of eggs, fried mushrooms and spinach from the kitchen.

First I found my robe, then found Drew in his jockey shorts and an apron, nursing a frypan and singing under his breath. Don’t ask me how anyone can be that chirpy first thing in the morning, but he was the ray of sunshine that made climbing out of bed worth it.

“Hope you worked up an appetite,” he said.

***

“Can I see you again tonight?”

My kiss was answer enough. It took all I had to pry away.

Drew chuckled. “I had a lot of fun,” he said. “More than fun, actually. Last night was really special, and... okay, I’ll shut up now.”

I cupped his cheek. “It was special for me, too.”

He grimaced and furrowed his brow. “I’m worried that I’m getting attached,” he said. “I know it’s only been a night, but you’re a really great friend, and... you’ve always been special, and if you wanted us to be a thing we can... I don’t know.”

“We’ll talk about it next time you’re in town,” I said. “Please, please tell me there’ll be a next time.”

“There will absolutely be a next time,” he said.

We fell into another long, sweet kiss, challenging the patience of the waiting cabbie. Someone once said ‘parting is such sweet sorrow’. Boy, is it ever.

Long after Drew had left, I thought about him and sighed. Happy tingles ran down my skin, almost like he was touching me again. His next visit couldn’t come soon enough.

We started as friends, and stood at the threshold of something new. Strange that two awkward high school boys should grow into something beautiful.

END