Graphic created by Patricia Marie Allen from photos on Pixabay.com
- Background by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

I don’t think I’ve ever been with so many people named Rose. I find it surprising so many of you chose that name. I was assigned Rose at birth and I wasn’t especially happy with the name, it seemed like an old person's name. But it fits how you blossom when you live who you really are. I am not used to competition for the name Rose, but I can see it will be a problem here. You can call me Cis spelled Cee I eSs. It acknowledges my difference, but makes me feel accepted as a sister.

Our paths here are all different. Mine was less twisted than most. I married into it. I remember my then fiance taking me out to a very nice steak and lobster dinner displaying the same nervous tics as the night he proposed. This had me very concerned as we had been officially engaged for 6 weeks. As we sipped our after dinner coffee, he took my hand in his and quietly told me, “I am going to tell you a secret that I have never told anyone. This is hard because I fear it could be a deal breaker, and I fear losing you. But you need to know before we get married. I am a transvestite, I like wearing womens clothes.” He squeezed my hand, but I didn’t find it reassuring. My initial reaction was that it might indeed be a deal breaker. I remember wondering if he could be homosexual, while flashing back to what I had thought were mutually satisfying encounters. “I have some literature I would like you to read. I know you have lots of questions and I’m not sure how well I can answer them.”

My world was jumbled, confused, and seemed to be crumbling. I latched onto what seemed to be a lifeline. “We need to discuss this. But I would like to read whatever you have for me, and get my thoughts together first.” I squeezed his hand. Though not at all certain, I wanted to reassure him that there was at least some desire to remain a couple.

When we returned to his car he gave me a brown paper bag with some books and magazines. One was “The Transvestite and his Wife” by Virginia Prince. This got me to see his crossdressing as more a speed bump than a deal breaker. I realized his kindness and nurturing ways, his willingness to listen, his non-dominance, even his disinterest in sports could all be labeled feminine. But these were all very attractive to me. I still wanted to marry the man I thought I knew, enough to give the woman in him a chance to express herself.

We spent much time discussing things. I think the process brought us even closer. We decided to proceed with the marriage and deal with the crossdressing together.

“Did you meet her before you got married?” asked Rose Williams.

“It was about a month after we were married that I first met his alter ego. He said cross dressing was a release for him and that he was feeling a need. I told him to go change and I would meet him in the living room and we could talk. I opened a bottle of wine and lit some candles. I learned crossdressers take much longer than women to get changed. I think I was on my third glass when she waddled in on her 4” heels that were beyond her skills. My first thought was whore. And I wanted to say no self respecting woman would be seen in that. But I controlled myself and said, “That’s a pretty sexy outfit.” That greatly widened her smile.

“Thank you.” she beamed.

As I handed her the glass of zinfandel I had poured for her, I asked, “Do you have a name?”

“Not really, you are the first person I have met while dressed this way.”

“I think we should call you Cindy. Short for Cinderella, for your magical transformation.”

“I like it, but I think Cinderella should be just for us. If there should ever be anyone else who meets Cindy, it should be Cynthia.” She replied.

Thus Cindy was born. We sort of bonded over our Cinderella.

I spent the rest of the evening bursting Cindy’s bubbles.

“Maybe that outfit is too sexy for someone who is not naturally endowed to pull it off.” I offered.

The smile narrowed but didn’t invert. As she replied, “You’re probably right. I bought it more for how it makes me feel, than for how it looks.”

“How does it make you feel?” I asked.

After a thoughtful pause, she replied, “Feminine and desirable.”

“I think I would find you more feminine and desirable in something classier.’ I said.

“Could you help me shopping?” was the quick reply.

“Of course. And we need to find you a better wig. That looks like a garage sale reject, and your complexion doesn’t go with that blond.”

“Actually it was. I thought it was a wonderful find for only $2 at a garage sale.”

Thus I became Cindy’s wardrobe, hair and makeup consultant and instructor.

At first it seemed like an imposition. It was like I was saddled with a 13-year-old little sister. That wasn’t part of what I signed up for getting married. But Cindy’s joy over my assistance made it worthwhile. As Cindy began to look and act our age she morphed into being my best friend. We started spending about 1 night a week as Cindy and Rose. Cindy seemed happier than Steve, but Steve’s moods were also noticeably better after a Cindy visit.

Then I got pregnant.

Even though Steve and I went to birthing class. I kept getting the urge to call him Cindy when he was birth coaching me.`

Rosie asked, “Why did you want to call him Cindy?”

“I didn’t really know why until the nurse teaching the class talked to me after class.”

“You’re really lucky. Your husband will be a real help, when the time comes. You can tell he really loves you by how gentle and caring he is. And he has a nurturing way, almost like a woman. He won't be a Captain Bligh type.” she said.

“What’s a Captain Bligh type?” I asked.

“They are ones who feel they need to be in charge, for fear of losing some of their precious macho, even though they know less than anyone else about what is going on. I recall one especially bad case. The captain was barking orders like an abusive football coach. Finally your obstetrician said ‘Mr. Bligh, I don’t think you are helping, please leave the delivery room.’ You could see his anger flair, and that he wanted to take a swing at the doctor. Two orderlies had positioned themselves either side of the captain. ‘The doctor is in charge here. Please do as she says, she is only doing what she feels is best for your wife and child.’ He left, but that is a scene I don’t want to see repeated.” replied the nurse.

I realized that even the class teacher could pick up on Steve’s feminine vibes, that was what made me want to call him Cindy.

Cindy really enjoyed that when I told her.

We discussed how to handle Cindy and the children. We decided that having a dad who sometimes wore dresses could be confusing to the children. Also the children could be a security risk, as Cindy’s existence was still a tightly held secret. So we decided children wouldn’t meet Cindy until they were older. This pretty much caused Cindy to disappear from our household. I didn’t like the effect on Steve, he became tense, short tempered and grumpy. I could tell he was missing Cindy time, since when on the rare occasions we could leave Jane (our firstborn) with my parents and arrange a Cindy visit those effects would ease.

So when we found our second child was on the way, I told Steve, “I think Cindy should join a crossdressing club. I just don’t have the time or energy she requires. I think it would be good if she made some other friends.”

“But aren’t you worried about others finding out?” Steve asked.

“Not really. I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of. There are some that wouldn’t like it if they found out, but that is more their problem than ours.” I replied.

“If it’s OK with you I’ll give it a try. I need to do something to relieve the pressure that builds up when Cindy is suppressed.”

Steve was nervous the evening he went to meet the group screener at a coffee shop. But not as nervous as Cindy going to her first meeting. I gave her a professional look in the skirt suit we had sewn teaching Cindy to use the sewing machine I had given “her” a couple Christmases earlier. I thought she looked very passable, the biggest problem being her visible nervousness.

She was very high when she returned early the next morning. I didn’t mind being awoken to be told how they couldn't believe it was Cindy’s first time out, as she presented herself so well and looked so good (I felt a good deal of pride for my part in that). As a bonus Steve provided some very good sex.

Cindy wanted me to go to a meeting with her. I was reluctant. I was still wary of what weirdos might lurk there. I also enjoyed being the unseen wonder worker who helped create Cindy.
When I finally allowed myself to be dragged to a meeting, I found a wide variety of regular people. The major difference was how appreciative they were, for just being treated as human beings. I can’t say there weren’t any weirdos but they were a small minority. I found I really enjoy the people in this community. Now that Steve is retiring, Cindy and I plan on going to more of these conventions

Cindy grew more and more self confident and more active in the club and the broader crossdresser community. She has her own facebook page and e-mail, corresponds with others, and even writes fiction for a site devoted to transgender. She was elected treasurer of the group so she had to collect meeting fees from all the members and deal with the hotel where they met. She has started describing herself as social transgender rather than crossdresser, saying being accepted socially as a woman was much more fulfilling than just wearing the clothes. Steve reassured me he did not want to get on the roller coaster of hormones and wouldn’t want to change our enjoyment of being husband and wife. But Cindy did start electrolysis and got her ears pierced. I decided I love both Steve and Cindy and would continue to, unconditionally.

Rose Marie asks, “Where can I find a wife like you?”

“You don’t find one. You cultivate one. You start with an open minded woman. Get her to fall in love with you. You communicate openly and honestly. You let her evolve in her own direction at her own pace. You continue showing her kindness and love, even when that is hard. And you both become better people.” I replied.