Change of the Mask: New Beginning

Chapter 2

Lilly85

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“In the last chapter we started this journey into the new life for our protagonist Alex. He was in the system of the government for 3 years and was finally adopted by an older sister he had no idea he had to begin with. Alex was frustrated that his sister hadn’t gotten him out of the system years ago and was wondering why if she was raised on the fact that you don’t leave family behind then why did she leave him in the system for as long as she did. That pent up anger inside him led to him blowing up towards his sister and her husband about a variety of things. Then after he finished he asked to be left alone. To end the last chapter Alex and his nieces talked about music and he played and sang a song for them. As the chapter ended they were preparing to do a song as a group.”

“I guess that kind of makes sense in a way Alex.” Says Alyssa

Sarah then goes on to ask “How long have you been playing piano for Alex?”

I think for a moment then reply “I first learned to play when I was about 5 from one of our neighbors at the time. I eventually started learning on my own time after that neighbor moved away when I was 6. From there it was just me learning whatever i could find materials for.”

Alyssa looks at Alex and says “That’s actually quite amazing Alex. To be mostly self taught and be able to do stuff like that is actually quite impressive.”

I look at her, shrug then say “To be honest with you I never really gave much thought into how good I might have actually been. It was just one of my ways to get through the day when I had nothing else to do. The orphanage I was at had plenty of materials for me to go through and I just went through them one by one as time went along. I didn't care what it was but rather, I was more focused on just getting through the day in whatever way I could. There’s only so much you can do when you have nobody to be with.”

Alyssa goes onto say “Can I ask why nobody liked you Alex?”

I sigh as I hate being asked this question but reply “It’s a long story but essentially everybody hated me because I wasn’t interested in anything they were interested in doing. I just stopped going outside for recess for a while and just stayed out of the way. I didn’t bother saying anything because there would have been no point. The teachers and principals didn’t care about stuff like that. They were more focused on making sure kids were getting a good education and in their words Letting the kids be kids”.

Alyssa sighs then says “I guess that explains a lot about why you are how you are. I guess interactions with other kids is hard for you isn’t it?”

I just nod and say “Every interaction I’ve ever had with kids has just ended in someone trying to hurt me either physically or mentally.”

Sarah then speaks up and says “Alex….. I’m sorry that happened to you and I really want to help you see that not everyone is like that. Both mine and Alyssa’s friends are very nice and i’m sure they would be nice to you if you give them the chance.”

I sigh again before saying “Sarah, I appreciate the offer but I think I need to find my way here on my own. I have nothing against either of you and you have both been very nice to me in every way possible. But I need to find my own way here in this new area that I have been put in. I also don’t think that I'm comfortable with the idea of being friends with friends of my nieces. I already told your parents this but i’m going to make this clear to both of you right now, I will not be calling your parents mom and dad. I also won’t be calling you guys my sisters for obvious reasons, if I were to come out and start calling you guys my sisters then it comes to light that i'm actually your uncle how do you think a lot of people would feel about that? It just isn’t practical. I also won’t be calling you my nieces for the same reason. I’ll simply be calling you by your names and that’s that. It’s going to be a bit weird at first but it’s what is best for everyone.

I should also mention that I'm not an athlete like you two are and i have no intention of joining in on any activities that you guys are involved in. For reasons I’ve already said, people are going to think im your adopted sibling and if it came to light that I’m really your uncle then a lot of people are going to be very angry about the deception. I have nothing against anything you guys do, in fact I actually enjoy watching a lot of it. It just isn’t something I'm interested in doing myself.”

Alyssa smiles at me and says “ I can respect that Alex, some of my friends aren’t the athletic type so I can understand where you are coming from in a way. Not all people are super athletic Alex. Each person is unique in their own way and you have many things already that make you unique just like Sarah and I have things that make us unique in who we are.”

Sarah then chimes in and says “Alex I can also understand where you’re coming from. Like Alyssa said, not everyone is a god given athlete or super genius or anything like that. Your Piano playing and your ability to run for as long as you can is what really sets you apart from us. You also have a voice of gold and I was in awe the entire time you were singing Alex.”

I smile at those comments as I think at least part of this family has an understanding of what I stand for and how some things are just not practical in the grand scheme of things.

“I think someone is finally starting to understand just exactly who I am. Your parents had no idea of anything I was talking about and it was actually very frustrating to talk to them about what I was just talking to you about. They had this look of disappointment on their faces after I said what I just told you guys. They didn’t seem to see the bigger picture of everything that i was trying to explain to them. Thank you for the compliments on the piano and singing, it’s not something you learn overnight as I’m sure you can understand. With as much time as I had you learn to just do a few things and stick to them as they are and you become good at those few things over time. If you branch out too much you lose the ability to stay adept in the other activities you are already good at. Not everyone seems to understand this but I like sticking to a few things and leaving it at that. Everyone always thought I was crazy for not doing more activities than I did, but in all honesty me doing less gave me more time to hone in on my talents within those specific activities. Running for me is an escape when I need to just get away and think on my own. I don't run for speed as I’ve already said, I run for distance and to just get away within the cool summer winds and just see where my legs can take me on any given day. With the Piano and my singing it’s my way of letting out my emotions and letting my frustrations come to light in a sort of way that people can feel within them.”

Alyssa looks at me and asks “ Alex, if you don't mind me asking just how far can you run in one go?”

I think for a little bit then say “I don’t think I ever calculated how far I could run in actual measurements. It just wasn’t something I ever thought about. I was at an Orphanage where I had endless amounts of time and over the years I generally didn’t run for that long though. I generally got up at 5 am every day then go for a run until about 7 as a way to stay in shape. Eat breakfast then depending on if school was in session or not I’d either take a shower and eat before heading to school or if school was not in session I would do whatever I could to keep myself busy.”

I then stand up and go to the window and just stare. As I’m looking out of the window I start to wonder just how messed up I really am. Before I can say anything though Alyssa and Sarah pull a few chairs up beside me and Alyssa takes me into a hug and says “Alex, I know you’re struggling with something inside you. Given what you’ve been through it’s hard to not have anything that would be troubling you.”

I pull away and look at her in the eyes before saying “There’s nothing more in this world that I would want in life then to not have to deal with anything anymore. If I’m being truthful with you, I’d probably have ended my life before I had a chance to be myself if your mother hadn’t come and saved me from my disparity.”

Sarah holds my hands and says “Alex…. believe me when I tell you, I’ve been there. It’s not a great mindset for anyone to be in. I can’t imagine what is troubling you so bad but we want to help you. Really we do. But we can’t do anything about what is wrong unless we know what is wrong Alex if that makes sense.”

I turn to look out the window again and sigh. Everything that’s happened has only compounded my initial issues. My parents thought I was a freak and that’s what led to the whole incident that led me to be put into the orphanage in the first place. What would you think if you were some religious bigot that had a child that didn’t conform to what you believed in. I was anything but normal. I was a recluse for the most part and my one true dream when I was younger was just to be who I should have been all along. Yea I had my TV to envision myself as who I should have been, but it would never be the real thing.

Still staring out of the window I said to Alyssa “If I tell you guys what is going on then you’d never want to be around me ever again. It’s probably better that you don’t know. I start to walk out of the room when Sarah says “Alex, wait.”