The Patsy Project. Book 2. Patsy Power Parts 33 & 34

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Patsy Power Part 33

“I think I have heard of them “I said, “Aren’t they a heavy metal band from the UK?” Jake nodded his head, “Yes, if Carl was still here he would be on his knees right now as Grog is his hero.” “Grog?” I asked, “I thought he was teetotal.” Jake laughed and said “No, I mean the nuggetty guy talking to Jock. His name is Greg Goggins and he has been known as Grog forever. He was rather attached to drink in his youth but has tried every drug known to man. It’s said he is totally clean now.”

We moved into the room and started talking to various other artists who thought that the new ‘Amazon’ was just starting out on a new journey. I was just amazed that these people were here to see us perform. Simon came over and smiled when he told us that his CEO had talked to Hector Vickers the Third and, having found out that the remake of ‘Calamity Jane’ was to be the first in a series of cheap remakes that included remake of ‘Gidget’ movies, had insisted that he, and the company, thought that it would be a waste of Lorraine’s’ voice and they came to an agreement.

It seems that the company now had a controlling share in Hectors’ business and that the films would now be properly scripted and aimed at a general release, rather than hid away on cable TV. After about half an hour Joey came and asked us to join him at the table where Jock was and he gathered up our whole band to go and meet the visitors. Jock said “Riordan and Patsy, I would like to introduce you all to these gentlemen who flew in from the UK just to see you play. I believe they are happy they did. He pointed to each of us in turn and the other guys nodded to us as we were named. The he said, “I would like to introduce the members of ‘Primal Purge’ from the UK”.

“We have Greg Goggins, also known as Grog; Kyle Adams, Plonker Parsons and Bruce Kitson. The members of the band who didn’t make the trip are Marion Batchelor, their keyboard player, and Janet and Libby who are backing singers. I had sent these guys a copy of your dance DVD, Patsy, and they were interested in signing you on as the opening act for their US leg of a world-wide tour but became unhappy when they heard that you and ‘Amazon’ seemed to be merging.” “Aye” said Grog “I wouldn’t share a stage with that pisshead Ashley, she was bad news on two legs” He went on “We were asked to see the way you had finished the merger and I must say I was pretty glad we came. We are more interested in your dance set but hearing such well-crafted new material along with the old ‘Amazon’ stuff was a fine thing to hear.” He looked at Jake and said “You play a fine guitar, lad. You remind me of myself as a youngster.” Jake looked shocked but managed to stammer his thanks.

He went on “We are only in the planning stages at the moment but the idea is to play a series of dates in the USA starting in early spring to include Canada. We will then go to Europe for the summer and down through Asia and Japan; into Australia and New Zealand before finishing in the UK. It will be our farewell tour and we are definitely not asking you to resurrect our careers, young lady!” He was looking at me when he said that. “I expected to need several opening acts as we moved around the world but you can understand that there are difficulties in finding clean, unsullied, bands in the heavy metal industry and that is just what we need. We are all ‘fallen’ but now on the straight and narrow and will do anything to stay clear of temptation.”

Riordan asked “How long is the whole tour planned?” Jock answered her “It will only be about six weeks in the USA. A ‘Purge’ tour has an awful lot of gear to transport so we would be looking at about five or six cities only. Europe would also be about six cities; then we may get a gig or two in India then Tokyo, Sidney, Auckland and then just three in the UK. That’s about twenty dates spread over about six months. If it starts in the middle of March it should finish around the end of August.” Grog then said “We are staying to come to your dance festival next weekend to see your pure dance set as I believe that you will be a bit louder there. Some among us were finding hard to hear what you were playing tonight” he poked Bruce, the drummer, as he said that. Riordan said, “I am sure you will be surprised as much as I will be as neither Julia, or myself, have played one of those festivals before so it will be a learning curve for us as well. We did see Patsy and this band at one early on and were quite impressed but they have improved from that level since we have known them. I, for one, am looking forward to next week.”

We broke into smaller groups then with the guitarists comparing methods and riffs and Kevin having a loud conversation with Bruce; until Bruce found his hearing aid and they were a bit quieter. Grog sought me and Riordan out and guided us away from the others saying “I just want to say that you girls have saved a legend from being a laughing stock. I think that if Ashley had still been around you would have just played your last date and it would not have been here at the ‘Garden’. I am really impressed with your new writing; do you have more to go on with?”

We told him that we had been working on an album of new material during the tour and would go into the studio as soon as we could. I asked him if it was better than 50/50 that we would be chosen and he said that if he heard what he expected to next week it was better that 80/20 so to start preparing for a world tour next year. “So”, I asked, “you will need us to be a dance come loud rock group on the tour?” He answered that it would be a good start for each show to start quieter and to build up, just as we had tonight. “It increases expectation” he said; “we will provide the blast of sound for the whole second half.”

I turned to Riordan and asked her if she was happy with the way this was turning out. She answered that she had always dreamed of playing out of the country but, by the time they had become big enough, Ashley and Georgina would not have been allowed to enter most countries, besides “They were afraid to be too far from their suppliers.” I then asked Grog if we would be allowed to contract our band of vendors for the US leg and he laughed. “I had a quiet walk through your department store this evening. There were goods for sale I have never seen at our shows, they would be welcome to join our happy band if it all works out.” We parted saying we hoped to catch up with them next week and rounded up our band to make our exit, getting into the limos with the cheers of fans ringing in our ears, to drive to the hotel. Before going to bed Riordan and I made arrangements for a band meeting in the morning after breakfast and booked a meeting room.

Tuesday morning, after breakfast, we went to the meeting room. As well as the whole band, we had Angela and Mary and Simon with us. I took control of the meeting and outlined everything that I had heard last night. I asked if everyone understood that we may be asked to do the US leg of the tour and could be in the running for the complete world tour. When they all nodded I said “OK, the point of this meeting is to gauge commitment to the project. In order to cement our chances we need to play well on the weekend at the festival. ‘Primal Purge’ will be going to hear us but I don’t know which show they will see. We can do it badly and miss out or we can do it well and have a chance. What is it to be?”

I looked around and almost everyone was looking keen to do it right. I looked at Minh, who seemed a little unsure. “What is it, Minh, you are not happy?” She looked around and said “I am sorry, guys, the notion of going into hard rock and touring with a heavy metal band is a bit out of my comfort zone.”

Simon took over and told her “Minh, that’s all right, everyone here understands that it is a long way from your preferred music. I am sure that Patsy and the others will be behind you with your Christmas album and anything you do after that and no-one feels you are a wimp for pulling out. It is better to do it now instead of breaking down later.” Minh thanked him and smiled at us “As long as I can help writing the songs and putting out my own style of music I will be happy. I could never lose my links with you guys.” I said “Right, it is Tuesday morning and we have our first show on Thursday night. Angela, can you see if there is a shed we can hire near the festival site to practise the set in?”

Part 34

I then said “Riordan, can you think through your old material to see if there is a song or two we could jazz up in a short time to fill out the set? Mary, can you find Tom to get him to take the equipment to a holding place until we contact him? Are we ready to do this?” Everyone said yes and there were several high fives and hugs.

On the way out of the room, Minh said that she felt that she was letting the Innocent Girls down by pulling out and I told her that it was all perfectly all right and that she needed to concentrate on her own album. “If you stay at the house you and I can use the studio full time once the tour is over. We should get it done pretty quickly and then we can get you in the main studio to record. If you want, the rest of us can be back-up singers just listed as ‘Innocent Girls’.” Nina said that she was going to stay with Riordan in New York so will be moving out of the house but would be happy to come to Nashville for the recording sessions. Riordan said that she would be happy to come down as well but warned me that the ‘Amazon’ sessions will be in a big studio in New York that she had shares in.

It was still only mid-morning and we would not be able to practise until late in the day or tomorrow, so I grabbed Angela and arranged for a car to take us to the ‘Garden’. Just as I thought, the vendors were still packing up their goods and taking down their stands. I spoke to a couple and asked if they could all gather around for a discussion. When they had gathered together I stood on a chair and thanked them for their involvement and hoped that they had all made enough to retire on. I went on “Those of you with Innocent Party stock of CDs, DVDs or photos should send me a list at K Beat in Nashville and I will make an offer to take it all from you. Of course, you may want to keep some aside to sell later as collectors’ items and that’s not a problem. As you now know, we will continue to perform as ‘Amazon’ and I think that you may get a message from us, in the New Year, about another tour. For this one you may need your passports. Your continued attendance at our shows has been a conversation piece among some in the industry and a comment was made last night from a person who had never seen the like, even though they had been on the scene for thirty years or more.”

“The band members do thank you for the odd bits of clothing and the like that you have given us. I hope the photos taken with us wearing it will grace your advertising for a while. Thank you again.” I got off the chair and many came to shake my hand or give me a hug. One guy, who sold mainly photos and posters, asked me about future pictures and I told him that I knew that Roger and Chris had taken miles of film and to get in touch with K Beat to arrange so see a selection. He said that the one of us in Detroit looking like mechanics would be a hit in thousands of car yards and workshops around the country. I then had a look in at the performance area but Tom had completely cleared our stuff and it was as if we had never been.

On the way back to the hotel Angela commented on my way of doing business. I told her that I thought that if everyone knew what was going on it works better in the long run. Just then her phone rang and as she was talking she made some notes. “That was an agent” she said “they have found a shed and given me the address and an address to pick up keys.” Let’s do it now” I said, so we gave the driver a new address to go to and we went to the key holder. They came with us to the shed, which was pretty close to the festival site, and we had a look. We approved the shed for our practise as it was a little remote and the sound would not bother anyone. Angela rang Tom and told him the address and we shook hands with the real estate guy. Angela said she would be in the office later to sign the papers and pay the bill for a short rental. We then called Mary to round up the rest of the band and gave her the address to come to and finally to a caterer to bring out a late lunch and a dinner today as well as a lunch tomorrow.

By 2.00pm we were all at the shed, the crew had unloaded the equipment and set it up and we had finished the catered lunch. Minh had come along to watch. We then looked at our play list again. I asked Riordan if there were songs that she had thought of and there was one that we normally played that she thought would do with a bit of speeding up and lots more volume so that’s the one we tried first. After about six run throughs we decided that it now sounded all right. She then pulled out a portable CD player and put a disc in it of a very early album, chose a track and played it to us. It was called ‘Shakin’ Sister’ and had Ashley in an earlier, and better, voice. It sounded like it would work so she played it again while we all took note of our instrumental parts and Nina jotted down the words.

We gave it a try at the normal tempo a couple of times and then speeded it up until we were happier, then did it about four more times before we were happy with it. That gave us the ‘Amazon’ content and we could fill it out with the other dance music in extended form. Everyone was happy with us finishing the set with the normal two songs. We decided to take a run through the full set and then it would be time for our catered dinner so that’s what we did. After we had all eaten we switched everything off and left a couple of the crew to act as security overnight and the rest of us piled in the bus to go back to the hotel where we relaxed a bit, knowing that we had achieved a lot today.

Wednesday, after breakfast, we went back to the shed. We sent the two security guys back to the hotel to take the day off and we switched everything on again. It was now too late to add any more material so we took our time and ran through the set twice in the morning, making changes as we went on, had lunch, and the once more at stage speed in the afternoon. By that time everyone was thoroughly sick and tired of it all so we packed up, helping Tom and the crew load the trucks, and then locking the place up and going back to the hotel. We detoured to the agent to hand over the keys and thanked him for use of the shed and he said he had a list of quite a few places like that around the country, because of the downturn in the general economy so we took his card and told him we would get in touch if we needed an urgent place to play again. Back at the hotel we just relaxed, got some rest or swam until dinner. After that we all had an early night.

Thursday morning we talked about plans after this weekend. Riordan, Julia and Nina were staying in New York as we already knew; Jake and the band were heading back to Nashville for a few days off before going to Florida to visit the space centre; Angela and Mary would go back to their office jobs and Minh, Joanne and myself would go back to the house to write songs. I knew that Ma would have things for us to do and that the publicist would want his pound of flesh but it all seemed a bit of an anti-climax after the hectic weeks just gone.

After dinner we took the bus out to the festival site and saw a couple of other bands before our stage came available. It was a novelty for Riordan and Julia to have an hour or so to get everything set up but Tom and the crew and the rest of us were old hands at it now. When the previous band finished we started and soon there was a sea of bodies gyrating in front of us until we finished. Then we packed up and went back to the hotel while Tom stored the gear in the trucks. Friday, Saturday was the same over again, with us closing the festival very early on Monday morning and then that was it – tour over. We had not seen any sign of ‘Primal Purge’ but they would have kept their heads well down so it seemed that now it was all in the lap of the gods and let serendipity reign!!

Marianne G 2020

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Comments

I’m more than a little bit.......

D. Eden's picture

Happier after this chapter. It seems like Patsy is asserting herself again, and her leadership qualities rise to the top again. It is also interesting that it looks like they will be getting a new tour based more on the Innocent Party’s dance tracks than on Amazon’s music.

Even the little bit of Amazon’s music they decided to use seems to have gotten the Patsy spin.

I can’t help but wonder if the new Amazon won’t end up being more Patsy than Riordan.

Looking forward to finding out!

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Primal Purge, lol, i keep

Primal Purge, lol, i keep thinking some politically correct advertising dept. renamed the original band name of upchuck.