The Devil You Know

It was Halloween, and the usual crowd had gathered in the pub to be safe from ‘trick or treaters’. They weren’t heavy drinkers, just steady drinkers, and were all mildly happy by nine. As usual, none of the talk was about the particular reason for the evening, until Harry suggested that it was a nice evening, if a bit foggy, perfect for the kids roaming the streets.

“You think that the kids like wandering around in the fog, Harry?”

“No, Bert, it’s just that it’s the one night of the week they can have fun and dress up.”

“It wasn’t around when I was young, so wouldn’t know about that!”

“I spent some time in America, in my younger days, and it’s big over there.”

“Oh, yes, do tell?

“Well, I wasn’t there long, just long enough to earn enough money driving trucks to come back here to buy my own.”

“Girls in every city?”

“That, I’m not saying anything about, but I wasn’t averse to picking up pretty hitchhikers.”

“So, Halloween is big over there?”

“Huge. The kids all dress up in costumes and roam the streets in organised gangs, shaking down any poor soul they meet. Some of them could buy the candy they get with the money they spend on costumes. It’s a real chance for a lot to dress up, especially boys looking like girls, and some girls looking like boys. It’s quite a fun night for a lot of them, and the dentists make a fortune some months later.”

Just then, the door opened, and a group of costumed children walked in, followed by a couple of parents. Harry pulled out his wallet and extracted some notes, waving them to the publican.

“Jim, how about you go to the store where you keep the chocolate for the snack machine and give these kids what this will buy. I’m feeling generous tonight.”

One of the parents smiled.

“That’s very kind of you, sir.”

“It’s all right, tonight is my night for giving. I spent time in America, so know how much this means to the kids.”

When the children had left with overflowing buckets, Harry took a sip of his drink and smiled. That, he thought, was the last act of pure kindness for the night. Now he could rest easy. Bert was still looking at the door.

“Did you blokes notice some of those costumes. Harry was right when he said that they must spend heaps. Either that, or they have mothers who are dressmakers. That little girl in pink was a real sweetie.”

“That little girl, Bert, was Henry from just down the road. He makes a sweet girl. I rather liked the one dressed as the devil. That’s such a kitsch idea of what the devil looks like, though.”

“So, Harry, you’re an expert of devilish appearance, then?”

“Actually, disbelieving Bert, I am. I met him once. It was when I was driving in America, and he saved my life.”

“Pull the other one, mate. For one thing, the devil is after your soul, if he even exists, and, the other thing, you’re such a good guy, there’s no way that you signed in blood. You’d be a killer or a drug dealer if you had done that. Of course, you may have become a guitar-playing rock star.”

Harry took another sip of his drink and looked at the clock.

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but I do have enough time left to tell you guys the story. After that, it’s up to you if you believe it, or not.”

He pulled his wallet out again and ordered drinks on him, emptying it.

“It all happened when I was in my twenties, a virile lad, and a truck driver with several certificates to transport hazardous waste and explosives. I had just delivered a load to the company yard in Portland. That’s on the north-west coast if you don’t know. I had cleaned up with a shower, having had a sleep in the truck on the way up from San Francisco. The boss called me into the office and told me that there was a double trailer of dynamite to go to Vancouver, in Canada, as soon as possible, but the designated driver had called in sick.”

“That would have made a bang, Harry!”

“You’re right with that, Bert. I was hauling about a hundred and twenty tons. That would have made a big hole in the highway, which is what I think had been planned.”

“Oh! Come on, you’re telling us the devil planned an explosion!”

“Let me tell the story, my way. I checked out the truck at Portland and made sure all the safety kit was in the undertray containers. With explosives, we carry a lot of warning signs, just in case we get a flat and need to be just off the road to replace the wheel. I left Portland in the early evening and picked up Highway Five north of the city. It’s one of those highways with a dual carriageway, two lanes each side, and is mainly straight. For a lot of distance, in the north-west, it runs through forest and is quite scenic. That night, though, it was foggy, like it is outside now.”

He took another sip of his drink and looked pensive before he smiled.

“I was in the truck and heading north out of Portland, listening to my CD pack as I drove. The music kept me awake and alert, as well as being like a companion in the cab. I was a fair way north when I decided to stop for a bathroom break and a hot coffee. There’s a little town called Chehalls, where you can leave Five and go along a good side-road until you reach a Chevron gas station. Opposite that is a Denny’s if you were there breakfast time. I topped up the tanks, had my bathroom break and went in to pay with the company card, getting a coffee out of the machine on the way out. When I got back to the cab, she was standing beside it.”

He took another drink and laughed.

“As far as I was concerned, she was perfect, a late teenager, long blonde hair, long denim skirt and a puffer jacket to ward off the cool of the night. She asked me if I was going all the way to Canada, and I told her that I was, indeed, going all the way. When I pulled back onto the Five, Lucy was sitting beside me and singing along with me as my CDs played.”

“Did you score?”

“I did better than score, Bert. That night changed my life. We kept going north and was on a long section of road that goes through an open area, some way before Rochester. We had just been listening to my Kylie album and had been singing along to ‘Better the Devil you know’.”

“Your taste still hasn’t changed, Harry.”

“Right! Well, she waved her hand and the CD player turned off, Then she told me that I’d better slow down. I’d been cruising at over eighty, with the fog lights lighting our way. I looked over to her to ask why, and where the teenage girl had been sitting, I saw a rather handsome man in that seat. I asked, ‘Who the hell are you?’ and he smiled.”

“That would have been weird, Harry.”

“I was dropping speed as I tried to take it in, and he started speaking. “I’m the person you gave a lift to, but in my more usual form that the denizens in hell know well. I told you that my name was Lucy, now you can call me Lucifer. Keep slowing down, we’ll be stopping a little way further on.” I asked him why the devil was sitting next to me with all that dynamite behind us, and he laughed. “Harry, this load was supposed to have been driven by someone else and he would have been dead when we get to that right-hand kink at Rochester. My crew is gathering to reap some souls there as we speak. You’re being here isn’t in the books. Your turn is fifty years further on. If you carried on at the speed you were doing, you would have run into a multi-vehicle pile-up due to speed, fog and a silly driver who slowed on the curve, making the truck behind it to jack-knife.” I slowed more as we were coming up to that curve. A couple of cars went past me at speed, and I saw them both hit the pile of cars and trucks that blocked the road.”

“You mean to say that the devil saved your life? Surely, that’s not usual.”

“That’s what I thought, Bert, but I got a quick lesson in all things celestial as I pulled up. He appeared beside me as I had all my hazard lights on and kept talking as I laid out the flashing barriers and went back a way to set up more where they could be seen from the straight section of road.”

“What did he say, Harry, we all want to know?’

“He told me that heaven and hell are more like two supermarkets trying to attract customers, rather than it being a war between good and evil. He said that there were rules to be followed, and that he only took the bad ones, while the other shopkeeper went for the ultra-good. He was a little sarcastic about the ones who were guaranteed to go to heaven. He said that he would sometimes get involved with those mortals who were on the cusp, which was why he had intervened with me. As the following cars were stopping, he left me with a piece of advice. He said, “Harry, if you look up the saying of ‘The better the devil you know’ you’ll find other sayings. One you should remember is, ‘When you dance with the devil, the devil doesn’t change, the devil changes you.’”

“That’s deep, Harry. What happened after that?”

“I couldn’t go anywhere with the crash in front and a traffic jam behind me. The emergency services turned up and started sorting out the mess. The Highway Patrol asked me why I pulled up and I told them that I had a strange feeling as I was coming up to the bend. That curve was the sharpest one for miles in either direction.”

“How long were you there?”

“I was there for the whole of the next day. The police made the other side of the highway a two-way road, and slowly cleared the traffic jam, as the cranes were sorting through the crash. Twenty-two died that night, and the police all said that it would have been twice that if I hadn’t stopped the following traffic.”

“So, you were a hero.”

“That’s what happened after. The radio and TV stations in Rochester came along and I was interviewed several times. I had to ring the company to tell them that the delivery would be late, and they told me that I had been on the TV in Portland, and that they were happy if I was a couple of days late. They also told me that the driver that I had covered for had been killed in a road crash, around the time that I had arrived at the pile-up.”

“What happened then?”

“Well, Bert, I was allowed to carry on to Vancouver, and I often saw news helicopters following me. When I went through the border, a lot of uniformed guys wanted to shake my hand. I could have had a truck full of drugs and got through without being stopped. At Vancouver, I was hugged by a number of drivers when I got out the cab. That trip changed my life, Before then, I had been a bit of a bad boy, but I had become a hero. The company gave me a bonus, the city of Rochester gave me the keys of the city and some money, I was paid for an appearance on a TV show. In the end, I was unable to go anywhere without being recognised.”

“That would have been awkward.”

“Yes, it became such a problem, I gave up the lease on my truck, and I came back to England. I now had enough money to put a deposit on my first truck here, and the rest you know. I became the owner of a small trucking business, got married, had children and a good life. You all knew my dear wife. Sadly, she was taken just a couple of years ago.”

“She was a wonderful woman, Harry, you were lucky to find her. You’ve left out the charitable trusts you’ve set up to keep the youths off the streets and out of gangs. Surely the devil won’t want you now.”

“Who knows, Bert. You go wherever you’re sent to. You have no say in that if you go anywhere at all. If I go down, at least I’ve already met the boss.”

Just then, the door opened, and a teenage girl walked in, a big smile on her face. Harry saw her and smiled back.

“Lucy, it must be time.”

“It is Harry, fifty years to the day, You’ve aged well, and you’ve done well. Now, gentlemen, Harry is coming with me.”

Harry stood, then held out his elbow, and she put her arm through his as the left the pub. The other men went to the window to see Harry standing at the kerb, alone, but with his arm in a position that looked as if the girl was still there. He then stepped out onto the foggy road, as a silent electric car came out of the fog at high speed. Harry’s body flew into the air, and seemed to hang for a second, or two, before crashing down on the road as the car disappeared into the fog.

The funeral was a big event, with all his friends and acquaintances attending. His three strapping sons were there to receive all the commiserations. His drinking friends toasted him but never told anybody the story that he had told. Bert did research the history and found that everything he had told them about the big pile-up near Rochester was true. They never found out if he had gone up, or down; or even if he had gone anywhere at all. One thing they did all remember was that as the girl was leaving with Harry, while they were all looking at her swaying walk, they all saw the tip of a barbed tail that was a little longer than her skirt.

Marianne Gregory © 2024