Named and Sorted
“Why do we need names?” I asked. “Because you have never seen a girl called Stuart.” I was told “Come on back to the library and we can talk about it, I think I need a drink after the relief of seeing you play as girls.” So we dropped our guitars in our rooms and went to the library where we all sat around and tried to relax.
I think that the rest of the band was on a high after our first practise on English soil, I know I was in a swirl of thoughts. It was only after I had sat did I realise that I had done so daintily, so as to not show too much leg. “O.K., let’s get down to brass tacks” said Algernon “your first gig is here, at my festival, over the coming weekend. You have just one day to settle yourselves into your characters and I suggest that this will be better served in shopping for some more clothes and some time in a salon to dye your hair black. There are places, so my daughters tell me, in Norwich where you will fit right in. Now, as to names, I am going to christen you in a way I can remember. Stuart, you are now Susie as you look a bit like Suzy Q with your bass. Terry, you can be Tess. Bruce, I am calling you Brianna, or Bri for short; and Steve, no real change for you as you are now Stevie. No arguments, please. After you leave here we have got you a minibus to use that is big enough to take your instruments and a few amps, with enough room for the drums and keyboard. My girls have told me that they will travel with you and Felicity will drive the bus as she has the correct licence. I trust you will all enjoy yourselves but I do not want any bastard grandchildren after you have gone home.”
His three girls gave him a big smile and promised that they would be good. From the look on the other three band members I guessed that when they were good, they were very good. We were dismissed so he could get on with his organising and we walked back towards our rooms. When we got there the four girls took control again and we were changed into long black dresses and our stage clothes were hung away. Felicity had been on the phone to a salon she frequented in Saffron Waldon and we were put in the minibus and taken into the town. She had booked all four of us for a hair dye and ear piercing. We had all drawn the line at other piercing. They also did some work on our lips and when we walked out, we were all black haired with kissable lips and sported five studs each side.
The shops were closing so we were given a reprieve and just had a walk in the town. It is a lovely, quaint place and I was taken aback to see a plaque on the wall of a building in the town square that denoted that someone had been burnt at the stake where I was standing, before Australia had been discovered by Cook. Back at the manor house we found that we had been supplied with nightwear as well and our cases were now going to be impounded after we had removed the bare necessities. It seemed that His Lordship was really serious about us living the parts we had been allocated. I made sure that I had my passport and all of my cards and the cash I had bought from home.
Looking in the bags that had come back this morning I found a handbag and purse so I put all of my worldly goods into it and wondered when I would be able to use my own wallet again. I looked at myself in the mirror, wearing the long dress and now black haired, and realised that my own mother probably would not recognise me now. Thinking about the other band members I knew that Terry and Bruce would pass after some practise but Steve would have to be our group tomboy.
We all sat down for a good dinner and the wizard proposed a toast to a successful tour of five talented girls. We sat around chatting for a while and we found we had to lay our heads down after a very long and tiring day. We were accompanied to our room by the girls and shown how to remove the make-up and take care of our skin and clothes. Lesley gave me a kiss before she left me, saying that we needed to be up early in the morning to get our shopping in.
I slept remarkably well for being in a nightdress for the first time, and woke just before dawn. I lay there thinking of what we had done to keep the tour going. It had been a shock to the system to be dressed as a woman but I realised that the whole band had taken it well. I thought of the time we were on stage and realised that Terry and Bruce acted like girls while we played and then, also, remembered our time in the salon yesterday. We were all spoken to as if we were normal women and there had been no snide remarks. I didn’t think we could have done that in Brisbane; some areas in Sydney maybe but never homophobic Queensland.
I got out of bed and went to the toilet, making sure I sat down to pee and practised making sure I tinkled. There was a robe on a hanger and I put it on over my nightie, put my feet into some scuffs by the bed and went outside to take in my first sunrise in the UK. As the sun rose Lesley joined me and we stood, holding hands. I asked her why she was attaching herself to me and she told me that I had proven to be a good friend as well as a good person and that she was fed up of going with chancers like Adrian. I told her that I was glad she had picked me as I had always admired her and we stood together and kissed. I said “Good morning, darling” and she replied “And a good morning to you, my love.” That sent shivers up my spine. We went in and found that the kitchen was already cranked up with tureens of food ready to eat.
As we ate our breakfast the others all joined us and then we went back to our rooms to prepare for the day. Lesley told me to get dressed in the long dress and wait for her to finish my face. I showered and used some smelly underarm deodorant before putting on the corset, stockings, panties and boots. I dropped the slip over my head and followed it with the dress. I then waited until Lesley came in and made me up. It took me a few moments to realise that today I was Susie and the girlfriend of Lesley. We gathered outside and Felicity got the minibus for us to drive to Norwich to do some shopping.
When we got there she parked the bus a little way out of the city centre and we had a bit of a walk to get to our destination, a shop that specialised in all things Goth. The four of us were taken around and asked what we liked and a pile of clothes were gathered for each of us. We then had to get into the changing rooms and try on our selection, coming out every time so that the girls could check us out. I ended up with a mid-calf skirt, another long dress in a dark grey, a couple of tops and a pair of very tight leather jeans with studs around the waist. The shop had a range of accessories and I browsed with my purchases were being parcelled. I was drawn to a pair of earrings that were black, plastic crosses with a red stone at the intersection. There was also a pendant in the same style. I paid for them out of my own money and, when Lesley saw them she decided that we should all have something similar as stage wear. In the end we found another set for her and three similar sets in blood red for the other guys.
I was sure that we would be called out as we walked around the city, but no-one even looked twice at our group of eight girls who were actually four of each. We stopped for a bite to eat at the main shopping centre café and discussed what we needed to do. As we were to play tomorrow afternoon at the festival, we said we needed to have another practise session, if we could, and work out a presentation that was more girl than usual. So, after a final shop up for shoes, we got back in the bus and returned to the Manor.
When we got there we asked His Lordship if we could use the stage again and he said we could, but he wanted to go through our introduction with us. “As this is the first time you play in public, I think that I should go up and announce you myself.” He then said that we would have our guitars already on the stage, in stands, and that he would go out the front, give his spiel, and introduce us, one by one. “What I want you to do is come out on to the stage and stand by your instrument and give the crowd a wave. As I am introducing Lesley, you can strap up and Stevie can sit herself behind her drums. I will introduce Lesley, who goes to her keyboard and then give the big ‘here they are, Quimble!’ and you start playing as I walk off.”
We all thought that this was a bit over the top but went along with it. We grabbed our stuff and went out to the stage where we just played our six recorded songs, trying to make us look like girls playing. When we got back to our rooms we found that another couple of bands had arrived and were settling in. It seemed that we were to share our stage with a UK band called Fields of Nephilim and a Norwegian group called Theatre of Tragedy. Sounds like it will be a fun time to be had by all!!
Marianne G 2020
