AUTHOR'S NOTE: So this is...different. The format of the story is experimental for me, but since I envisioned this as though you're watching a documentary, it seemed kind of natural to write it sort of how a movie script would read. (Though I did take a few liberties with the traditional screenplay format.) If you like the format, good news! There's lots to enjoy. If you don't like it, good news! I'm probably never doing it again. :)

Fair warning: The "My Uncle Fifi" stories are actually a spinoff of this story (and often make subtle and not-so-subtle references to this story), but while those are straight-up comedy, I'd classify this more as a tragicomedy. But even now, years after writing this, I still think Tristan is one of my favorite characters I've written...and I still enjoy seeing her personality sparkle through in the Fifi stories.

Anyway, pop some popcorn, and I hope you enjoy the movie!

Mockumentary

Story by Jenny North
Artwork by Fraylim

FADE IN:

INT. A RECREATION OF THE SET OF THE GALAXY CRUSADERS BRIDGE - NIGHT
We're looking at a set that's a recreation of the bridge of the ISS Endeavor, the famous ship from the Galaxy Crusaders TV show. This recreation is at the fan convention CrusaderCon so a few of the details are off, but it's a good approximation. It's the night before the con opens, so it's quiet and nobody is around. On the set and sitting in the captain's chair is Graham Kelly, creator of this documentary.

Fifteen years ago, teen heartthrob Tristan Sinclair was cast as one of the hot young stars of the brand-new Galaxy Crusaders television show. Although the show boasted a dedicated fan base, by its fifth season it was lagging in the ratings and plagued by soaring production costs. In a desperate gamble, the troubled show underwent a massive retooling in an effort to boost public interest, and replaced half of the cast trying to appeal to their target demographic.

Graham rises from the chair, still addressing the camera.

Learning that Tristan was soon going to be let go from the show, his mother and business manager, Barbara Sinclair, approached his agent and they concocted an elaborate hoax to act as a publicity stunt to draw attention to both Tristan and the show. To make it seem more plausible they hired a documentary crew to follow Tristan around, believing they would later sell it as a "mockumentary" once they revealed the hoax. Except that the hoax was never revealed. Until today.

The camera pans around as Graham turns, the main viewscreen of the bridge set visible behind him.

The scandal that ultimately surrounded Tristan Sinclair had a profound impact on the show and his cast mates, but no less so on the young star himself, who soon became trapped in a web of his own lies. Please join me now as we explore the life of this young actor with retrospectives of the show, interviews with the original cast, and—most exciting of all—recently discovered behind-the-scenes footage from the never-before-seen... mockumentary.

The camera looks past Graham and zooms in on the bridge's main viewscreen. On the viewscreen we see a MONTAGE of quick scenes and excerpts, showing a teaser of what's to come:

CUT TO:

Early footage from Galaxy Crusaders that features Tristan, including the title card from the credits that reads, "Tristan Sinclair as Ensign Aaron Fairchild." In a scene from the show's pilot episode, we see a fifteen year old Tristan, mop-haired and overconfident, meeting the captain.

I don't intend to be an ensign for long, Captain.

Son, what you intend ain't always gonna be what you get.

CUT TO:

A scene from the second season episode "The Mists of Gynos" where Ensign Fairchild is temporarily turned into a female. Tristan spends much of the episode dressed as a girl, and between the makeup and prosthetics, he's surprisingly attractive. His character is in the medical bay being given a physical, and his prosthetic breasts are showing a nice cleavage. The doctor is there, as are the other two teenage members of the cast.

I'm sorry, Ensign. Unless we can find whatever did this to you, there's nothing I can do.

You mean I might have to STAY like this? FOREVER?

Wouldn't THAT be a shame?

Don't worry, Aaron. I'm here.

CUT TO:

A later scene in the show, which includes a passionate kiss—seemingly lesbian—between Ensign Clarke and the temporarily-female Ensign Fairchild.

CUT TO:

A scene from another episode a few years later that features the climax of the "love triangle" among the three teenaged actors on the show. Ensign Clarke watches aghast as the two fight over her.

I'm not dumb enough to hit a superior officer.

Don't let that stop you, small fry.

They grapple with each other.

Are you two INSANE?

CUT TO:

A scene from CrusaderCon three years later. Producer Ellen Barry addresses the crowd.

We're of course very grateful to Tristan for his wonderful work depicting Lieutenant Aaron Fairchild, but unfortunately the show has decided to move in a different direction.

CUT TO:

A meeting between Tristan, his agent, and his mother.

They're FIRING me? I'm practically the freaking star, for crying out loud!

We've been thinking, and we want you to pull a publicity stunt.

CUT TO:

A scene from the season six premiere, featuring Tristan as the now-female Lt. Fairchild, looking very attractive and wearing a figure-hugging duty uniform.

Captain, I think you left your hailing frequency open.

CUT TO:

Tristan at a red carpet event wearing a glamorous evening gown and talking to a reporter.

Do you identify as transgender?

I'm not hung up on labels, I'm just trying to be me.

CUT TO:

A few seconds from the now-infamous scene from season six where Tristan as Lt. Fairchild is dressed as a Zentaxian Pleasure Girl, giving Captain Mercer a lap dance.

CUT TO:

An interview with Tristan's agent, Max.

Of course, that's when things started to unravel.

CUT TO:

VIDEO MONTAGE of several short blurbs from entertainment shows showing a distraught Tristan. A picture of one tabloid cover reads: "SHE'S NO LADY"

CUT TO:

Tristan being interviewed.

...friendship, envy, anger, fondness, attraction, affection, betrayal, disbelief, hurt, rage, acceptance...there aren't enough emotions!

FADE TO BLACK

TITLE CARD:

FADE TO:

EXT. THE CRUSADERCON CONVENTION - DAY
We're outside the convention center on a bright sunny California day where CrusaderCon—the fan convention for the Galaxy Crusaders franchise—is in full swing. Fans, many of them in costume, are milling about. Graham is standing in front of the convention center, speaking directly to the camera.

Hi, I'm Graham Kelly, and I'm standing outside CrusaderCon, the number one fan convention for the much beloved sci-fi space opera franchise, Galaxy Crusaders. This year marks the 15th anniversary of the show, and fans are especially excited because this convention will also feature a very special reunion of the cast members...the first time they've all been on one stage together in almost ten years.

VIDEO of few brief clips from the show are shown, featuring popular moments with the cast and the ship.

One name in particular has sparked controversy: Tristan Sinclair. Tristan was of course no stranger to controversy, either on or off the set during his time on the show. Hired onto the show at the age of fifteen, the teenage heartthrob would spend the next five years playing the impulsive Ensign—later Lieutenant—Aaron Fairchild.

PHOTO of Tristan in character on the bridge of the ship.

Off the set, he made headlines for his tempestuous relationships with his co-stars, in particular his fellow teenage actors on the show, Connor Covington and Felicity Manchester. His rivalry with Connor was well known, keeping both young men in the public eye until Connor left the show after the third season to focus on his budding film career.

PHOTO MONTAGE of a series of production stills showing Tristan and Connor both on and off the set. The tension between the two young men is obvious, even between their characters on the show.

Soon after, Tristan found himself making headlines once again when he began dating Felicity Manchester, who played Ensign Shelby Clarke on the show. Sparks flew between the volatile young couple that would rival their on-screen romance, ultimately ending in a well-publicized breakup that was eagerly covered by the tabloids. Unfortunately for Tristan, his problems would only worsen when sagging ratings for Galaxy Crusaders led to a massive retooling of the show, which planned to drop his character. With that, a desperate plan was soon hatched...

FADE TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Seated in a bright and open living room are two individuals, a man and a woman, obviously an older couple. A TITLE fades in identifying them as Barbara Sinclair, Tristan's stepmother, and Max Samuels, Tristan's agent. Graham is sitting in a chair opposite them, interviewing them. The room is tastefully decorated and subtle touches around the room suggest that they are now living somewhere in Europe.

Thank you both for agreeing to be interviewed. Considering how everything ended, I know you've been reluctant to talk about it.

Of course.

We're just happy to be able to tell our side of it. People jumped to conclusions.

So...Barbara. As Tristan's stepmother, you—

Oh, there it is already.

Pardon me?

That word. "STEPmother." Painting me like some uncharitable wicked shrew.

Barbara, he didn't mean anything by it.

I'm sorry, I know I'm being oversensitive. But after Tristan's father died, I sacrificed a lot to nurture Tristan's budding career. Acting lessons, auditions...I even used my Hollywood contacts to get his audition for Galaxy Crusaders, you know. A fifteen year old actor landing one of the lead roles on a nationally syndicated show? The competition was fierce!

So you were also his business manager?

It was a thankless job.

Forgive me if this seems indelicate, but I'd like to be clear...you were living off of Tristan's earnings, isn't that right?

Well, yes, but I hardly see what that—

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything—

Makes me out to be some kind of "stage mother."

—but I think it's important to note for what happened later.

Settle down, Barbara...I think I see where he's going with this.

It's just that after the dust settled, much was made in the press about Tristan's desperation driving him to do what he did. But I think it's often overlooked that you also had a stake in his future.

Well...yes. That's true.

We all did. Take me, for instance. I wasn't just the kid's agent, I was also his publicist...whatever he needed. He used to call me "Uncle Max," for crying out loud.

We made sacrifices.

Max holds her hand.

Indeed. Now, I'm curious about some of the background that set the stage for what happened. Tell me about the episode from season two, "The Mists of Gynos."

That was the episode where Tristan's character was temporarily changed into a girl.

We see a few production stills of Tristan dressed as a female version of his character, wearing the female duty uniform with the short skirt. He makes a very attractive young woman.

What a mess that was.

Why is that?

Well for one thing, Tristan was sixteen at the time. For him to be dressing up and acting like a young woman I thought was inappropriate.

Is that right? Because at the time you were quoted in an interview as saying—

—"Of course it's all in good fun. I think he even learned a few things about women."

Well, by that point the decision had been made. I was just trying to be supportive.

The fact is, by that point Tristan was a rising star among the teens and tweens. We didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that, and running around in a skirt was asking for trouble. We protested with the show, but their minds were made up.

Why were they so uncompromising?

They knew they had the teenage audience wrapped up with Tristan, Connor, and Felicity playing young officers on the show. The love triangle on the show played well, and Tristan and Connor's off-screen competitiveness made good publicity.

Felicity was going out with Connor at the time.

Right. So the powers that be decided that a gender-swap episode would be a fun way to mix up the love triangle. And since Connor was starting to get into feature films, they didn't want to risk his reputation. That left Tristan holding the miniskirt.

I remember a rumor floating around at the time that Tristan had been getting a little flirtatious with some of the female staff, so this episode was written as a prank to make him dress like a girl. Was there any truth to that?

No, not at all. That practically became an urban legend, but the rumor was harmless and it got people talking about the show. It even got Tristan a couple of interviews where he got to show his sensitivity to women.

VIDEO: A short excerpt from a TV interview with Tristan while he's on-set and in full female costume. He's smiling and playful, saying how he's always had tremendous respect for the women in the cast and crew and how great they think it is that he's doing this.

And then of course, there was the kiss.

That got some attention!

VIDEO: We see a short clip from the episode where Tristan's character is still female, and engages with a passionate kiss with Felicity's character.

Of course the whole thing was a publicity stunt. Tristan and Felicity's characters hadn't kissed on the show yet—it was all a big tease—so they gave it a lesbian twist to mess with everybody.

Did it work?

I hate to admit it, but it really did. The teens and tweens went crazy after the two of them kissed and there was a whole debate on the message boards whether it should "count" or not. And it was racy for the time showing what LOOKED like two young women kissing. The show got some hate mail, but on the whole people wrote it off for the obvious stunt that it was. It was good publicity.

I didn't mind that so much...it was the other part I objected to.

You're referring to the "near-miss kiss" with Sub-Commander Taxon, played by Billy Hayworth in the episode.

VIDEO: Another short excerpt from the same episode where Tristan's character is forced to seduce the son of the alien commander as a distraction. The other young actor has embraced Tristan and is moving in for a kiss. Tristan, nervous and awkward, does not resist and closes his eyes submissively. They come within an inch of kissing, but suddenly Taxon's father arrives on the scene to berate his son for incompetence.

Well, of course. It was one thing for Tristan to act the temptress with Felicity, but that one scene almost cost us that phone endorsement.

I'm confused. Were you worried that people might think he was gay? Or were you more worried about the possible lost revenue potential?

Well, obviously I wanted what was best for Tristan. He'd worked hard to get that spokesman opportunity!

But after that episode, there was a lot of buzz where people started thinking he might be gay, suggesting he played the role TOO well. But after we sorted it out and the dust settled, his Q rating soared. The kids loved him.

For a while.

CUT TO:

INT. FELICITY'S OFFICE - DAY
Seated on a couch in a posh Hollywood office is an attractive blonde woman, stylishly and professionally dressed. A TITLE fades in, identifying her as Felicity Manchester, who played Lieutenant Shelby Clarke on the show. Graham is also present, interviewing her. The office reflects Felicity's new role as a Hollywood producer and has a professional elegance to it, much like Felicity herself. She's obviously doing well for herself.

What was it like working with Tristan and Connor back then?

It was fun, but it was also tiring. We had good times together—the press even called us the "Galaxy Trio"—but the guys could be really competitive sometimes. Especially Tristan.

Did he resent that you and Connor were dating off-set?

It didn't help any. I felt like I was living out one of our scripts, with the two boys were fighting over me and I was like some object that could be won.

I understand Tristan apparently had something of a reputation on set?

We were teenage stars with an inflated sense of self-importance. But Tristan in particular tended to act out. He fancied himself something of a ladies man, but he was just a hormonally-driven boy.

So in "The Mists of Gynos," seeing him dressed up like a girl was something of a comeuppance, then?

I won't kid you, watching him sashay down the halls in high heels was pretty entertaining! But I'll give him credit, he never complained once. In fact, I think that was some of his best acting at the time, if only because it was really the first time on the show that he had to play an actual character and not just play himself.

Was it awkward playing opposite Tristan when he looked like that?

You mean kissing him, with him looking like a girl?

It's a genuine question, take it how you want!

That's all anyone ever wants to know! I mean, sure, that part was awkward and fun and kind of exciting and weird but really the whole show was like that. I felt like Alice in Wonderland sometimes.

Apart from the kiss, did it feel different interacting with Tristan during that episode?

A little, I guess. I mean we'd done scenes together lots of times before and this was a sci-fi show where actors were always put in prosthetics and heavy makeup for some alien thing or other. The makeup folks on the show were just amazing. You'd see Tina walking around as Dr. Zelexia and think aliens had actually invaded!

PRODUCTION STILLS from a few of the episodes featuring various impressive alien and creature effects done by the makeup team. We also see actress Tina Lee getting made up and having her gills attached to portray Dr. Zelexia on the show, an alien from Amphibia 3.

But this was different?

He was different, I think. In makeup and everything, Tristan certainly looked the part...in some ways I felt like I was playing opposite his twin sister. I don't know. He was more fun to be around. He wasn't so...dickish.

God, I can't believe I said that!

What changed?

Well, he was more social, for one thing. Tristan always kind of set himself apart from the rest of us on-set, never eating lunch with us or anything. I think when we shot this episode, we all expected that he was just going to hide in his trailer between takes, but he actually hung out with us more. He LOVED being the center of attention.

That had often been an issue between him and Connor, hadn't it?

Hoo boy, was it ever. Tristan could really be a spoiled brat sometimes, and he hated it when Connor got more attention than he did. It was really childish.

Did his behavior improve any after Connor left the show?

It got worse! Connor left the show to focus on his film career, and Tristan was incredibly jealous. In his mind he was just as big a star as Connor and he turned into a real prima donna on the set. It was embarrassing. The producers put up with it for a little while, but he nearly got himself kicked off the show before he straightened out.

That was about the time that you and Tristan got involved, wasn't it? One article likened it to Beauty taming the savage Beast.

Ugh, I thought I'd never hear the end of that stupid analogy! But really I didn't do all that much. Tristan was going through a rough patch and I was there for him. After that...well I guess it's no secret that we dated for a while before we eventually went our separate ways.

As I recall, it was a pretty messy breakup.

We both said things we'd later come to regret. But we put our differences aside for the sake of the show, and eventually we reconciled.

Time heals all wounds?

I'd like to think so.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

Whose idea was it to stage the "mockumentary"?

I think you came to me with the idea first, didn't you?

You know, I don't recall. It was a collaborative effort.

Following Tristan around with cameras like a reality TV show was fairly intrusive, wasn't it? How did Tristan adjust to being on camera all the time?

Ha! Like a fish "adjusts" to being in water, that's how.

Tristan always loved the spotlight. We knew that while he might have...reservations...about the rest of the plan, being on camera wasn't likely to be one of them.

Yeah, even from the get-go, the kid was eager to mug for his adoring fans.

CUT TO:

INT. MAX'S OFFICE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
This is footage from the "mockumentary" tapes from ten years before, where cameras followed Tristan around like a reality TV show. Max's office is modestly decorated and slightly cluttered with autographed pictures of various B- and C-list celebrities hanging on the walls. A large poster of the Galaxy Crusaders TV show that features Tristan's character is prominently displayed, but if Max has any other high-profile clients, it isn't evident. Tristan is seated on the couch and fooling with his phone, tweeting his fans and doing vanity searches of himself. Both Max and Barbara are sitting across from him, watching him intently.

Heh. Some chick got a tattoo of my name. Awesome.

Kid, have you listened to a word I've been saying?

Ooh, I wonder if she'll be at the next CrusaderCon? I bet she'd appreciate "making the jump to delight speed..."

Tristan, put the phone down, sweetie. This is important.

Not that I mind the extra publicity, but how come we're filming this, anyway? More behind the scenes footage for my fans?

Yes, something like that. That's what we wanted to talk to you about.

Hey, everybody! Tristan here, just takin' care of business and keepin' it real!

Tristan...

Kid, knock it off!

Okay! Fine, whatever. I heard you, Uncle Max. So they're trimming some of the dead wood off of the show, so what? I hang in for another year or two, jump to feature films and hop off before the ship hits the iceberg. Easy peasy.

It's not that simple, dear. They're...

They're canceling your contract, kid.

W-WHAT?!? They can't! I've still got three years!

Option years. And they've decided not to pick up your option.

They're FIRING me? I'm practically the freaking star, for crying out loud! Have they seen my numbers with the teens? I'm the only reason they're tuning in!

Yeah, they saw the numbers. They're...soft. You're getting a little old for the tween crowd, they want to bring in something edgier.

Yeah, well, screw 'em, anyway! I don't need 'em. High time I got moving over to feature films, anyway. What else we got lined up?

Kid, it's not pretty out there. There's a lot of young talent—

What, are you kidding me? What the hell am I paying you for?

Hey, that ain't fair! I got you those two film parts that you passed on!

One teen scream slasher flick and another where I'd be playing second banana to Connor Covington? No, thanks!

Yeah, well, it seems like you've been saying "no, thanks" a lot, lately.

Max, please, this isn't helping. Tristan, dear, he's been doing his best. He's been keeping you in the public eye, hasn't he? Didn't he come up with that viral campaign that got you those ads?

Tristan shrugs dismissively.

And didn't he help spin things with the press after you broke up with Felicity?

Technically that was her fault...

I warned you about dating other people from the show, didn't I?

Boys, please.

Tristan slumps on the couch as Barbara holds his hand supportively.

Oh, man, this show is all I've got. What am I gonna do?

You gotta give 'em what they need, kid. The ratings are in the crapper so they're trying a big splash by shaking up the cast and retooling the show, but what they really need is a reason for people to tune in.

I thought that's what I was doing.

That's what you WERE doing, kid. But people want to see something new. Something flashy.

You mean like a makeover? Ditch the pretty boy image and do a bad boy thing?

Yes...

That's what the show is already doing. They're bringing in Jackson Deerwood to be the new captain.

What, mister "Jack Daniels" himself? That guy's an out of control train.

A train that brings in the ratings. People watch him.

Okay, so, how do we get them to watch me?

Exactly! That's it exactly. We need you in the news both on and off the show. We get you in the public eye and things will turn around, you'll see!

What aren't you telling me?

We've been thinking, and we want you to pull a publicity stunt. A big hoax that gets people talking. We set it up like a reality TV documentary with cameras and everything and we get a lot of buzz going. People will watch you, watch the show, and then we come clean and get tons of free publicity!

Heh, nice. We could even sell the footage afterwards as one of those...whatchacallem...mock— Mockwhatevers.

A mockumentary! Oh, that's very clever! Isn't that clever, Max?

The kid catches on quick!

Okay, so what's the gag?

You come out...as a woman.

You...I...WHAT?

It's big, kid. A famous teen heartthrob on a nationally syndicated TV show comes out. From star to starlet, they can even write it into the show. Seriously, the press releases write themselves!

Are you insane? People are never gonna believe I want to be a woman! Or worse, what if they DO believe it? I'd be finished!

You already ARE finished...

Barbara ignores the comment and gestures to the camera.

That's what the cameras and the documentary are for, Tristan! If anyone asks, we'll say we're documenting this historic coming out for a possible reality TV show, and afterwards we use the footage to show this was all a big hoax!

I...I just... I mean, why does it have to be a woman? Can't I just come out as gay or something? Or join some weird religious cult?

Sure, maybe twenty years ago that's news. But people can smell a Hollywood hoax a mile away...it's got to seem plausible.

And me deciding that I want to be a woman is PLAUSIBLE?

You've been a woman before. For the show. That episode in the second season where you got turned into a girl.

That wasn't my idea!

Tristan, I know, sweetie. But—and please don't get angry when I say this—you were a VERY convincing girl. Remember those articles that came out afterwards who said you were a dead ringer for that girl that's always on the tween magazine covers?

That was just makeup and acting!

I know, sweetie. Just like this would be acting. Think of it as the role of a lifetime! You get to fool everyone, and then when you come clean everyone will know how good an actor you can be.

More like "actress."

And let's not forget last Halloween, either, with you running around those Hollywood costume parties dressed up as a very sexy Wonder Woman!

Okay, now, wait. That...that was Felicity's idea. She got a professional makeup artist to do my makeup and prosthetics and then ditched me after she saw me talking to a fan! I didn't even have cab fare in my star-spangled panties. Her idea of "funny." Oh, man, she'll probably LOVE this.

Sweetheart, I know it's difficult but it's the best thing we've got. And having Felicity in on it could be useful when the time comes...after you "come out" to the press, she could tell everyone this was the reason for your break-up. Having her corroborate your story will make it more believable.

Well, the press won't take much convincing. After those Wonder Woman pictures came out it took me weeks of spin doctoring to convince people you weren't gay. You're welcome, by the way.

Right, I'm glad that worked out, this is so much better. Rather than people thinking that I'm gay, instead I'll get to prance around in miniskirts and high heels in front of everyone!

Yeah, but see, that's why it'll work, kid. The more you deny something, the more they assume that you're lying. They'll WANT to believe this. Plus, it's flashy, it's unexpected. Just think of all the interviews! Plus, you get all the attention that starlets get in the fashion rags..."what designer is she wearing" and all that junk.

You're out of your mind.

Sometimes you gotta be a little crazy to grab the brass ring. Take that picture on the wall there...me and your dad were younger than you are now when we got that pic with the Rat Pack. Frank, Dean, Sammy...those guys were gods back then. Living legends. But your dad grabs me, walks over to 'em like he owned the joint and offers to buy them a freakin' drink. They thought it was fantastic. Best night of our lives, kid. But no guts, no glory.

Tristan stares at the photo.

No guts, no glory...

And the documentary crew will be following you around everywhere. Constant coverage...

Yeah...yeah, maybe. Oh, God, I can't believe I'm actually considering this...

Max and Barbara make eye contact and smile at each other.

Good, we start today. We need a nutritionist and personal trainer so you can lose weight without putting on any boyish muscle. I'll make an appointment at a discreet beauty salon, and then an upscale boutique where we can find the perfect "coming out" dress!

Actually, I was thinking about his—um, excuse me, "her"— coming out party, and I think have an idea for something much better—

Okay, I'm going to stop you right there with all that "her" crap.

Tristan, you need to project an image...

Okay, in public, fine. Whatever. But not while we're alone. I don't want us getting comfy with this. Deal?

I suppose.

Whatever you say, kid.

Tristan nods.

So anyway, here's my idea...

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) – DAY
The convention center has been overtaken by the annual CrusaderCon convention, celebrating all things related to the Galaxy Crusaders franchise. A sizable crowd is milling around in T-shirts and costumes from the show, getting autographs from the stars and buying GC merchandise. The camera settles on an auditorium filled with people. On the dais is long row of tables where the actors will sit to take questions from the crowd. There are tent cards with the actors' names, but Tristan's card is noticeably absent.

Weeks later, at the annual CrusaderCon convention, buzz was particularly strong since fans had been hearing the news of big shake-ups to come on the show. The big news—the hiring of Jackson Deerwood as the new captain was met with a significant amount of anger and venom on the Internet. News had also recently surfaced that two other long-time actors on the show had been fired and replaced, but there had been no word of Tristan Sinclair's fate.

Hey, everyone! It's time to meet the new crew of the I.S.S. Endeavor!

The announcer proceeds to introduce each member of the crew. Loud cheers meet the returning cast members with more muted but enthusiastic applause greeting the new members of the cast. The last person introduced is Jackson Deerwood as Captain John Mercer. He swaggers onto the stage to a loud mix of cheers and boos. Also on the stage is one of the show's producers, Ellen Barry.

Thank you everyone! We're so very excited to talk about the exciting new direction for the show. A new mission, a new ship, even a new captain!

Mixed applause from the crowd.

Haha! Yeah! This is gonna be awesome!

Yes, we're all very excited. We're especially—

Where's Tristan?

A number of shouts join in from the crowd asking about Tristan.

Yes, yes, okay. I know there are a lot of questions, but I suppose I should address that one first. We're of course very grateful to Tristan for his wonderful work depicting Lieutenant Aaron Fairchild, but unfortunately the show has decided to move in a different direction.

There are a number of boos and angry shouts from the crowd, especially from the young women in the audience.

Quiet, please. Yes, I know. Quiet.

In the midst of the din, one young woman has walked up to the microphone in one of the aisles where people ask questions. She's dressed in an elaborate and rather provocative costume of one of the Moon Princesses of Tellus 9.

Excuse me, I have a question?

Yes, I'm sorry we're not taking questions just yet—

I was wondering if I could get a hug from Jackson?

The crowd breaks out in a mix of loud groans, cheers, and laughter.

I'm sorry, we don't allow—

Heck yeah! Bring it in, babe!

The young woman runs excitedly up to the stage while the crowd cheers in encouragement, although some audience members are obviously put off by the shenanigans. Jackson rises as the young woman steps up on stage and gives her a long hug while she seems to squirm in delight. He then kisses her on the lips to the cheers of the crowd, causing her to blush furiously.

Okay, I think that's about enough.

Jackson breaks the embrace and gives the young woman a playful swat on her butt as she scampers away. He returns to his seat, but the young woman, seeing that Ellen has temporarily vacated her seat on the stage, hurries to it and sits down. The crowd laughs.

Hey, we got some new eye candy on the panel!

The young woman adjusts her silver moon-themed tiara while Ellen taps her on the shoulder. The crowd laughs, but an increasing number of people are getting tired of her antics and start yelling for her to get off the stage.

Wait, wait, I think I see the problem.

She nudges Jackson sitting next to her and points at the tent card with his name. He picks it up and we see that there was a second tent card hidden beneath. The young woman picks up the second card and places it on the table in front of her, and we see the name: TRISTAN SINCLAIR.

Hey, everybody.

The crowd goes WILD.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Two women are seated in the living room of their California home, being interviewed by Graham. Both women are dressed casually, but they have the poised demeanor of women who are used to being on camera. A TITLE fades in, identifying them as Kat Olsen, who played Commander Lockhart (second in command on the show), and Tina Lee, who played Doctor Zelexia.

So how did you hear the news about Tristan's change?

I actually found out with everyone else at the CrusaderCon panel.

Me, too.

Really? There was no announcement to the cast or anything?

You have to understand how chaotic it was back then. Everyone knew there were big changes coming to the show and several people would be let go. We were going on hiatus while they retooled, and everyone was walking on eggshells.

We'd both arranged to go to CrusaderCon if only to sign autographs and meet the fans, but it was only a couple days before the con that we got the word that our contracts had been picked up and that we'd be sitting on the main panel with the crew to pump the new season. Talk about a relief!

Yeah, they were seriously yanking our chains back then. It was a mess.

So when Tristan pulled his little stunt...?

We were as surprised as anybody!

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

Absolute genius. If I do say so myself.

And Tristan played it perfectly. He stole the show! It was all anyone was talking about afterwards.

Don't think ol' Deerwood cared much for getting upstaged like that.

Yes, well, that wasn't our concern, was it? But we'd coached Tristan carefully not to give away too much. To tease with his answers but not be too direct. As far as anyone knew at the time, this was just a temporary change for the show to do a short-term ratings grab. They ate it up.

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION HALL PANEL DISCUSSION (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) - DAY
A series of quick cuts showing people asking questions at the panel discussion.

This is a question for Tristan—who looks AMAZING, by the way—will this be a permanent character change?

Well, this is a show where anything can happen, but I can say you'll definitely be seeing more of me like this.

CUT TO:

Oh my God, Tristan, I wish I could look as good as you do!

Laughter from the audience.

My question is, do you still like girls?

Are you kidding, I love girls! Look how far I went to get into a girl's pants!

More laughter from the crowd.

CUT TO:

Hi, this is a question for Felicity. I know that you and Tristan were an item for a while, and I was curious if it was weird for you seeing him like this?

Not even a little bit. I can honestly say he's never looked better!

CUT TO:

Dude, I just gotta say, you're making me question my sexuality right now.

The audience laughs.

And...are those real?

The crowd laughs again.

Tristan looks down and gives his "breasts" a little nudge.

Sadly, no, you're looking at the magic of Hollywood right here.

Jackson reaches over and gropes one of Tristan's breasts.

You're giving me the magic of wood right now!

The audience erupts into hoots and cheers.

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION ROOM FLOOR (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) - DAY
People are walking around the convention in the background after the panel discussion as we see a series of quick cuts of the fans' reactions.

Oh. My. God! That was hilarious! I had NO idea. None! I think it's going to be weird seeing him on the show like a girl, but I can't wait to see what they do with it!

CUT TO:

Another pair of convention attendees.

That was awesome!

I dunno, I thought it was kind of freaky, him dressing up like a chick like that.

Um, hello? Earlier today before the panel he was walking around the con in costume, and I saw you take about six pictures of him when you thought he was just a hot girl dressed as a Moon Princess.

It wasn't SIX pictures...

She smiles triumphantly.

Oh, shut up.

CUT TO:

Another pair of convention attendees.

That was hot.

Seriously, I didn't think it was possible for me to crush on him any harder, but I do.

So it didn't bother you to see him dressed like that?

I dunno, he was always kind of boy-pretty before. The girl-pretty thing is sort of sexy.

I know, right? One of my old boyfriends had this fetish about getting laid by a Moon Princess...I even dressed up for him once. I never really got it, but I tell you right now, I would totally get laid by THAT Moon Princess.

Totally.

Hey...can you like, introduce us?

CUT TO:

INT. BACKSTAGE AT THE CONVENTION (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
After the panel discussion the cast members start to disperse, some heading back to the autograph area.

Felicity runs up and hugs Tristan.

Oh, my God, you were great!

Wow, I can't believe I did that! That was kinda fun, actually.

Jackson walks in and takes a drink from a flask.

Ooh, hey, girl-on-girl action! Save me a little of that sugar, little moon queen.

Jackson grabs Tristan's wrist and pulls him into an embrace. Tristan struggles to pull away.

Hey, let him go!

Jackson awkwardly steals a kiss and releases Tristan.

Jerk.

Yeah, and he's a Moon PRINCESS! Get it right!

Ah, you'll always be a queen to me.

Pauses, a beat.

I'm gonna go get laid.

Jackson winks and staggers off.

O captain, my captain. Man, what a prick.

He's not wrong, though.

About what?

Getting laid. I thought when I did this it'd kill my chances, but the girls in there were practically drooling over me! I guess they think this makes me sensitive or something?

Wow.

Oh, like you've never hooked up at one of these cons before? We're practically royalty here. Seriously, we're doing them a favor. It's like the highlight of their lives.

Again, wow. And for your information, no, I have never "hooked up" at a convention.

You should try it. Dang, I'm thirsty from all that talking, I think most of the questions were for me! Hey, does my lipstick look okay?

Felicity rolls her eyes and retrieves her purse and turns to the craft table. While she's doing this, two attractive young con attendees—the two we saw earlier—enter backstage.

Oh, my God, there he is!

Oh, wow, Tristan!

Hi, girls. Not sure you're supposed to be back here?

When we heard you were here we had to take the chance. You were amazing!

Yeah, amazing.

Always happy to meet a fan. You ladies want me to autograph...something?

I didn't bring anything to write on.

It's okay, I don't have a pen.

Oh, Lord.

Felicity hands Tristan a small plastic cup with water. He takes a drink.

Thanks, babe.

Oh, are you two like...together?

No!

Lord, no.

Not anymore.

Oh. Well then, we were hoping you could help us out with something?

Anything for a fan.

We were wondering if you wanted to, ah, hang out for a while?

Also, we were hoping to get laid by a Moon Princess.

Right, also that.

Tristan finishes the water and hands the cup back to Felicity. He then wraps an arm around each of the girls' waists and starts guiding them towards the exit.

Well, like I said, anything for a fan!

Have fun, ladies!

Wow, you even smell like a girl!

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

So the convention was a huge success, then?

Oh, yes! Tristan did a lovely job with his "undercover" costume work before the panel. After his unveiling, the Internet positively lit up with people searching for pictures of him walking around beforehand disguised in his Moon Princess costume. And of course at the panel he had them eating out of his hand.

Right.

But...?

Barbara and Max share a glance.

After the convention was another story.

Tristan was...well, Tristan.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) – DAY
We're looking at a hotel room that is spacious and opulent with large double-doors to the bedroom that are now open. The bed is rumpled from Tristan's session with the girls. Both girls are getting dressed and are heading for the door, not looking remotely happy. Tristan, disheveled but still (mostly) in his Moon Princess costume, is hurrying after them on his high heels. The hallway door opens and Barbara and Max enter.

Tristan, where are—oh, for heaven's sake.

Mother? What are you—wait, it's not what you— nothing happened, okay?

He's really not kidding.

Yeah, talk about a letdown! I wanted to do it with a Moon Princess, but I was hoping I'd still get to do it with a guy.

Girls, I swear I don't know what's wrong! Just give me a couple minutes, okay?

Well you seemed to get revved up on stage after you swapped spit with Jackson Deerwood, why don't you give HIM a call!

Your daughter has issues.

You have no idea.

The two girls exit and the door closes behind them.

We got lucky.

Well, I'm glad somebody did!

What I mean is, now they'll leave thinking that you're not just a jock in a dress, but maybe your little dress-up games go deeper. That could prove useful if it gets around.

Tristan, what were you thinking? Wait, no, don't answer that. I think I know which organ was doing the thinking for you.

Hey! I have done EVERYTHING you've asked! Shit, I even had to put up with Deerwood kissing and groping me out there! And this outfit—!

Tristan gawks at his reflection in a mirror.

Jesus, just look at me! Hell, I'd fuck me!

LANGUAGE, dear! It's not becoming for a young woman to—

But I'm NOT a young woman, am I?

Darling, that's exactly the problem, don't you see? This isn't a role you can turn off once you step off stage. Yes, kissing Mr. Deerwood was unfortunate...but it was also inspired! You looked every inch the flirtatious little vamp. But then you almost ruined everything by acting like a horny frat boy bringing those...young women...back to your hotel room!

So what, I'm supposed to make out with guys from now on, is that it?

Well, it would add to the verisimilitude. But more importantly, you have to stop thinking with your...baser instincts. When you walk out that door, as far as the world is concerned, you are a young man who's decided to live the rest of his life as a woman. And every time you acted like a horned toad, you make it easier for everyone to see through that little deception!

Tristan tosses himself into a chair by the couch.

This is even harder than I thought it would be. And I thought it was going to be really, really hard.

And you're doing wonderfully, sweetheart. Mostly. You just need to get deeper into the role, is all. We need to see more of that playful little coquette I saw on the stage today. Now, sit up straight and cross your legs like a proper lady.

Mother, there's nobody here but us!

Barbara holds her stare, and Tristan relents and sits more primly.

Okay, okay, I get it. Do it until it's second nature, and assume that I'm always on camera.

Which I guess isn't far from the truth.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

After that, things really took off.

At first after the convention everyone assumed he was just playing a new role for the show, but once Tristan started making public appearances in female dress, well...

It was like dangling red meat in front of a pack of wild dogs.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD RED CARPET FUNCTION (ARCHIVED NEWS FOOTAGE) - DAY
Video footage of entertainment newscasts featuring Tristan out at a Hollywood red carpet function in a glamorous red gown showing a lot of leg. He poses for photographers and smiles shyly while being peppered with questions by curious journalists.

Tristan Sinclair is full of surprises! Many are still talking about his daring publicity stunt at CrusaderCon where he disguised himself as a female fan and announced that he'll be playing a female role on the show. But here, in his first public appearance since the convention he surprised us again by showing up in a stunning Givenchy gown and long hair extensions, looking like quite the Hollywood starlet!

CUT TO:

Tristan being interviewed. He's smiling and coyly playing with his long hair.

Tristan! Is this another plug for the show? Are you just dressing this way to bring attention to your new role?

What I did at the convention was a lot of fun, but I don't want to play games. I'm really just looking forward to moving on to a new phase of my life.

Does this mean you'll be living full-time as a woman? Do you identify as transgender?

Oh, I'm not hung up on labels, I'm just trying to be me.

Also at the charity function was Tristan's co-star and former girlfriend, Felicity Manchester.

CUT TO:

Felicity being interviewed. She's also dressed for the occasion in a stunning off the shoulder gown.

Felicity, any comment on Tristan's apparent coming-out? Are you two here as a couple?

Oh, no, we're not a couple. But I'm thrilled that Tristan is finally getting a chance to show everyone his true colors.

Wait, are you saying you knew about this side of him?

Well, not at first, but he was SUCH a girl when we dated. Last Halloween I told him I was dressing up as Wonder Woman and you should have seen him pout until I let him wear the costume instead. But he wore it better than I ever could have!

PHOTO MONTAGE: Various photos from the Halloween party with Tristan dressed as a very convincing Wonder Woman, smiling and having a good time. One infamous shot that made the rounds at the time shows Tristan posing for the camera with an unidentified man with short styled hair who's not in costume but is wearing a colorful tight tank top. The man has his hand around Tristan's waist, running his fingers across Tristan's curvy butt and pulling the costumed star close while Tristan drapes his arm around the man's shoulders in a very familiar way. Both are smiling broadly for the camera. Tellingly, the man in the photo also has a bright red lipstick mark on his cheek where a woman obviously gave him a big kiss. Although Tristan forcefully denied it at the time, the color does seem to resemble the lipstick that he is wearing in the photo.

Your breakup with Tristan was pretty acrimonious and public. At one point he called you and the other female members of the show "star whores" and likened you in particular to a prostitute, suggesting you slept your way into staying on the show.

That was the old Tristan, just acting out and trying to convince everyone—probably even himself—how hyper-masculine he was. Now just see how lovely and radiant he—excuse me, SHE—looks and tell me she doesn't look happier?

Wow, that's incredibly generous of you. Do you think the other women on the show feel the same?

I think we're all excited to bring our new "little sister" into our sorority. And I can't wait to see how Tristan fills out that new uniform!

But seriously, I'm just delighted to see Tristan finally getting the kind of happiness and recognition that she deserves.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

Tristan's "coming out" to the press obviously made a significant splash on the news, which really put his changes under a microscope. Were you prepared for that?

Once he agreed to the plan, we moved fast. We approached the producers about Tristan's "new life direction," and they agreed to pick up his option after a little sweet talking. From his earlier episode dressed as a girl they knew he could be attractive enough with sufficient makeup and prosthetics, but they were nervous about his personal life becoming a sideshow.

Wasn't that what you wanted? To get as much attention as possible?

Yes, but it had to be the right kind of attention. If Tristan went trumping and stumping around like a man in drag, the tabloids would eat it up...but then nobody would take him seriously after that. So we had to raise it to a new level.

From when we started, we'd only had two or three months before CrusaderCon and GC started filming. We brought in all kinds of specialists—acting coaches, a voice trainer, even a couple of female impersonators. Made 'em all sign non-disclosure forms, since we didn't want to let the cat out of the bag until CrusaderCon. Tristan had some natural talent for the impersonation that he'd demonstrated on that one episode, but we needed him to really walk the walk. In high heels, no less.

MONTAGE: Mockumentary footage showing the behind-the-scenes work of Tristan prepping to come out as a female, working with various coaches:

• Putting on his makeup in a lighted vanity mirror
• Getting fitted for breast prostheses
• Practicing walking in high heels while a model chastises him, who watches critically while Tristan tries again with a more pronounced swinging of the hips
• Sitting in a private hair salon where his natural brown hair is being colored a more lustrous chestnut color and he's being fitted with long hair extensions
• Trying on dresses reluctantly in a private boutique. He's obviously tired and slumping his shoulders, causing his coach to criticize his posture.

My Tristan could be a bit...reluctant...at times, but he knew the stakes. If people thought he wasn't sincere about the changes, it would all be for nothing. Fortunately, he was a fast study.

Much was made in the news about Tristan's announcement to come out as a woman, but no less so his cosmetic surgeries. At the time, you tried to downplay the significance of these changes, but surely you didn't think this would go unnoticed?

VIDEO and PHOTOS from the media and tabloids, all trying to guess what sort of work Tristan has had done, showing various pre- and post-operative pictures of his face.

Oh, certainly not. We wanted them to notice, after all. But we also knew that denying or downplaying the changes would cause them to dig deeper and hound us more. It was all a big tease.

What about Tristan? Was he comfortable with all this?

Well, he enjoyed all the attention, certainly. He was obviously unwilling to feminize himself permanently, but the changes to his face were really pretty minor—a little nose job, some lip augmentation, cheek implants—after all, it was important that he still look something like Tristan. We spoke to the doctor and convinced him that the changes were reversible. Or worst case, that it would make his face look younger if he went back to being a man...always a good thing for an actor.

If?

I'm sorry?

You said "if" he went back to being a man. Wasn't that the plan all along?

Of course.

Talk to me about the other changes.

We knew the whole thing wouldn't hold together if Tristan had to rely on complicated makeup and prosthetics. That was good enough for the show, but it wouldn't be enough for people to think he really wanted to be a girl.

PHOTO MONTAGE of production stills of Tristan on the set of Galaxy Crusaders, in various costumes. His standard duty uniform is form-fitting like the rest of the female cast and hugs his feminine curves and displays a modest cleavage. His character's off-duty looks are also designed to be girlish and modestly provocative. Later we see shots of Tristan off the set in clingy dresses cut to accentuate his figure.

You're talking about the hormones.

Yes, we started him on the hormones almost right away.

That was kind of a drastic move, wasn't it?

We didn't have a lot of choice. We couldn't let the Galaxy Crusaders producers knew this was all a big stunt or they'd get cold feet. But they smelled a rat. So they put things like this as stipulations in Tristan's contract under his personal appearance clause. They said they didn't want to risk looking like fools having Tristan run around like a bad transvestite, and if Tristan was really serious about transitioning then he shouldn't have a problem with it.

They were calling your bluff.

Pretty much. They even paid for a "feminine deportment coach" to help Tristan's presentation.

But weren't you already doing that? You said you'd hired various coaches...

But this was their guy, someone who'd be reporting back to them. So again, if Tristan was on the level everything would have been be on the up and up. But as it was, they basically had a spy checking in on Tristan's progress.

How did Tristan react to all this?

He knew we didn't have much choice, not if we wanted GC to pick up his contract. But of course he—we— never expected all this to last very long.

In the time frames we were looking at we knew the hormones wouldn't have much effect, which is why Tristan went along with it. But we also figured the little changes might make the transition story more plausible.

Heh, not so little changes.

Go on?

It actually wasn't all that long before the kid started to, ah, "blossom." A few months after the show started shooting he was definitely starting to get curvy. I figured it was all good since tits and ass sell more tickets, but nobody expected he'd change that fast. It was almost like—

Well, the point is, Tristan handled it like a professional.

Yep, the kid was real trooper.

He was all right with the changes?

Well, I wouldn't say he was "all right" with them, but after a little reflection he saw they were reversible and could be useful in maintaining the deception. And more importantly, he knew that backing out then would damage his credibility.

The thing is, it wasn't enough for him to just say he was becoming a girl and toss on a dress. The stars he was brushing elbows with were young, attractive, and image-conscious. To fit in, he had to make people forget who he used to be and come across as another Hollywood starlet.

It sounds like you were very concerned about how Tristan was perceived by the press.

Oh, very much so! Hollywood people are incredibly focused on appearance and public perception and we had to stay a step ahead. Overall he did a lovely job, but he had a lot to unlearn.

CUT TO:

INT. STUDY IN TRISTAN'S HOME (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Barbara and Max are in the study in the small mansion where Tristan and Barbara both live. Max is sifting through some press clippings while Barbara is sitting in front of the computer looking at pictures of Tristan from a recent Hollywood event. She's on the phone with Tristan's hair stylist.

Yes, I am looking at it! It's absolutely dreadful. He looks like a drag queen with those bangs!

She pauses to listen.

Well, I don't care. For the amount of money we're paying, you either fix it or we find someone who can do his hair properly!

She hangs up the phone.

Tristan enters the room, obviously agitated. He's wearing a very short and clingy evening dress and heels, attractive but rather dressy and inappropriate for daytime wear.

Right! Okay! Fine! Let's just take five, okay?

Pushy little fairy.

Tristan is about to toss himself into a chair but gets a warning look from Barbara. Instead he sits gracefully and crosses his legs at the knee, giving an almost unconscious toss of his long hair.

And this hair is SERIOUSLY starting to get on my nerves!

You'll get used to it before too long. Now that you've adopted it as your "signature look" it will be several more months at least before we can think of changing it.

Several more months?!? I'm not staying like this for that long!

Well, of course not, sweetheart. I'm just saying that if you change it too soon, you'll seem fickle. You've already got the teens and tweens wanting to duplicate your look, so you don't want to abandon it now.

Tristan fusses with a lock of his hair.

I think I liked my old groupies better.

Max fishes into his briefcase, retrieving a small phone.

Oh, hey, I did get something new for you. Now that the phone endorsement came through, they sent along one of their new models.

See, now, there we go! Something fun, at last! Way to come through, Uncle Max!

Max hands Tristan the phone. It's a shocking color of pink.

Please tell me you're kidding.

Remember, they want people to notice you using it.

Tristan wrinkles his nose as he runs a finger along the flashy bejeweled edging.

I really don't think that's going to be a problem.

If you don't like the color, they had another one in kind of a girly purple.

"Lipstick Lavender."

Yeah, that's the one. That's like purple, isn't it?

Tristan sighs and puts the phone down.

It's fine, I'll come back for it later.

Problem?

Tristan gestures down at his short, form-fitting dress.

"Haute couture" is apparently French for "without pockets."

Pauses, a beat.

Although...

He looks down the front of his dress and tugs at his bra strap, sizing up his cleavage as he reaches for the phone.

Don't you DARE even think about it. You're a Hollywood starlet, not a waitress at Hooters.

Okay! Jeez.

He glances around the room, looking for something.

And I guess I left my purse...somewhere...

Tristan! You mustn't be so careless! Part of carrying a purse is knowing where it is and keeping it under your control! Honestly, if someone were to—

She pauses, noticing that Tristan has a little smirk on his face.

You know exactly where it is, don't you?

He kisses Barbara on the cheek, which she accepts impassively.

I'm sorry, Mother, I couldn't resist. The proper way to handle my purse was one of my MANY lessons with Ramon this morning. As was the proper way to discreetly check my makeup. And of course learning how to touch up my lipstick, and how to cut my food into little pieces to take girly little bites. And later today I believe he'll be instructing me in the feminine art of fellatio!

Tristan! Really!

So I guess I don't have to ask how the practice is going.

"Knees together, honey." "Remember, sweetie: chin up, tits out." I swear to God, if that little fruitcake calls me "Precious" one more time I'm going to choke him to death with my pantyhose.

I know it's not easy, dear. But you're still slouching in the photos. You have to assume you're always on camera, so your body language has to be second nature.

I know, I know. But it's bad enough having to do this without getting bossed around by Pansy McFruitypants out there.

Max snickers loudly, then coughs to try and cover it up when Barbara gives him an annoyed look.

Sorry.

And now he's got me climbing in and out of a limo in this getup while the little pouf tries to look up my skirt with a camera.

Yes, well, that is your own fault, isn't it?

Seriously, kid, you came within a whisker of giving those paparazzi a grade-A crotch shot the other day. If some little starlet makes that mistake, it's an embarrassment. But they KNOW what you're hiding in your panties. And if they get a shot of your package flashing underneath the hem of your skirt, you're finished.

Ugh, being a woman SUCKS.

There, you see? You said "being a woman," not "dressing like a woman." It's becoming second nature already.

Oh, hey, yay. But tell that to Ramon out there, will you? Who, by the way, I don't think believes for one second that I actually want to be a woman. Seriously, NOBODY is buying this.

Max and Barbara share a glance.

What?

Tell him.

He made me promise not to say anything, but your fey little taskmaster out there complimented your "natural girlishness" the other day. In fact, he said he watched a rerun of one of your shows from last season and he said it was "so obvious" looking back on it that you were a "sister" and he couldn't believe he didn't spot it sooner.

You...you're making that up. Right?

We're thinking about leaking it.

W-what?

Well, even if you genuinely were coming out as a woman, I don't think it would come as a big surprise to anyone that you're working with a feminine deportment coach. And having someone who's "on the inside" to corroborate your story could be quite beneficial!

Tristan lowers his head dejectedly and lifts up a hand to examine his long painted nails.

I wonder if I could slice my wrists open with these?

Oh, thank you for reminding me, I need to schedule a mani-pedi. And don't forget you have the dress fitting this afternoon. We should probably look for some shoes, as well. The store said they set aside some new Christian Louboutin peep toe sandals for you that are to die for!

Tristan looks helplessly to Max, who just shrugs.

And we have to discuss your behavior at the charity event.

Okay, now before you start in on me, that was not entirely my fault.

What'd you do NOW?

Our little fashionista thought it would be wonderfully amusing to make fun of the designer he was wearing right in front of the press!

You didn't.

I'm telling you, it wasn't my— Okay, you know what? Fine, let's do this.

Tristan goes to the computer and starts typing.

Georges was livid. Absolutely livid. It was all I could do to keep him on the phone to try to apologize.

Right, here we go. You tell me what YOU think!

Tristan spins the computer screen around, displaying an article on a popular site for entertainment news. At the top is a large photo of Tristan on the red carpet, joking and signing autographs for fans while everybody laughs. He's wearing a bizarre dress that has a gold and black corset top with long black sleeves and huge shoulder pads. The skimpy gold skirt is draped atop a voluminous mass of black crinoline that's fluffed like a cloud from his waist to his upper thighs, leaving most of his shapely legs bare. It looks like the designer was trying for a youthful, edgy, flashy look, but the unfortunate decision to add horizontal black striping to the corset makes the whole outfit resemble a bumblebee costume. The title of the article reads, "Queen Bee Tristan Stings Designer."

BWAH HA HA HA HA!

Tristan gestures to Max and gives Barbara an "I told you so" look.

This isn't helping.

Oh, God. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you should have warned me first.

What'd you SAY?

The reporter asked me who I was wearing, and I said, "Oh, HONEY..."

Max whimpers a little.

"...I got this in return for generating some buzz for Georges Mondrian..."

Max shudders trying to contain his laughter, which causes Tristan to almost laugh.

"...and I don't mean to drone on, but hive never been one to pass up any free bees."

Both Max and Tristan burst out laughing. Barbara is not amused.

I suppose you think you're very clever.

Aww, don't bee keeping a grudge. Don't you larva me anymore?

Max and Tristan dissolve into another round of laughter. Barbara is becoming visibly annoyed.

This isn't funny!

Okay, okay. Whew. Well, I doubt there will be much fallout with the public. We'll figure out some way to square things with Georges.

Yes, we will. Because Tristan is going to apologize to him tomorrow.

Oh, come on!

His designs may be...exotic...but he's influential in certain circles. We can't afford him as an enemy. And nobody likes to be made fun of, Tristan.

Are you KIDDING me? I'm the one prancing around in front of all those cameras like a transvestite honeybee, and you're worried about people making fun of HIM?

He folds his arms and sulks.

Unbelievable.

Barbara moves over to Tristan, and takes his hand.

Tristan, sweetie...Tristan, look at me. You know I'm only doing what's best. I realize we've been asking a lot of you, but it's only because we know you can handle it. You're strong. Will you do this for me?

Okay.

I just...need you to beehive from now on.

Did...you just make a joke?

Heh, wonders never cease.

I TOLD you it was funny.

You're still going to apologize.

Oh, all right. I suppose nothing could be as embarrassing as wearing that stupid outfit, anyway.

Hey, hey, Precious! Break time's over, girl! Time to show me how you've been practicing that sexy shimmy! I wanna see you wiggle that rump!

Tristan sighs heavily and stands up straight, affecting a practiced but slightly over-exaggerated model's pose. He starts moving for the door, grinding out a very sexy and eye-catching strut.

Looking good, "Precious!"

Tristan continues walking for the door, swinging his hips provocatively.

Ooh, it's a good thing for you that I'm a lady.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

So after the convention and Tristan started living as a woman full time, what were your thoughts then?

Incredulity.

And anger.

Why is that?

Even though Kat and I hadn't publicly come out yet— although there were certainly rumors about us, especially after the kiss we had in season 4—we knew what it was like to live with a secret. And we both knew genuine trans women. But more importantly, we knew Tristan. To us, Tristan was obviously a guy in a dress trying to save his job. Sure, he LOOKED good, but it was shocking to us that more people didn't see through the sham...hadn't anyone ever seen Tootsie?

And then there was that magazine article.

Ugh, right.

Which one?

The show was doing a huge publicity blitz to trumpet their "bold new direction," so one of the big entertainment mags did a story on "The Women of Galaxy Crusaders."

More like a cheesecake piece.

It wasn't THAT bad. It even made the cover. But it featured Kat and myself, Felicity...and Tristan.

Unbelievable.

It was bad enough that he was even included, but it seemed like half the article was talking to Tristan about his "brave decision" to come out and whether he considered himself to be a role model for transgender youth or even young women.

It was infuriating. The media was calling him "courageous" for his decision and he was making a mockery of people who displayed genuine courage.

Do you think that part of the reason you felt such animosity towards Tristan might have been because you yourself hadn't come out yet? That perhaps he was stealing your thunder undeservingly?

Not at all. That's ridiculous.

I also notice that you're both referring to Tristan as "he."

Yeah, I want to be sensitive and obviously he was presenting as a female, but from our perspective we saw this whole thing as a sham. His character may have been turned female, but in my mind he was just a desperate guy playing dress-up.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

So basically Tristan was living as a woman 24/7?

That's right.

Had to. The paparazzi were on him like flies on sugar, and they could sniff a hoax a mile away. Just one picture of him bumming around in boxer shorts or doing laps in the pool in a guy's swimsuit would have blown the whole thing out of the water.

How did he hold up to the additional scrutiny from the press?

It was new to him. Before all of this, my Tristan was never really an A-list celebrity. He had his picture taken at various red carpet events or the occasional celebrity function, but that was about it.

And when he was a guy, the tabloids loved getting shots of him out partying.

Yes, well, boys will be boys, I suppose.

But now he wasn't a boy anymore.

Yeah, after his "unveiling," things changed overnight. All of a sudden Tristan couldn't leave the house without getting swarmed with photographers. It was fantastic.

How did Tristan react to that?

He ate it up! I think in his mind he was finally getting the media attention he'd always craved. He hated the whole woman thing, but the first time he tossed his hair and the camera flashes started going off, I knew we'd created a monster. Once he'd gotten a taste of real celebrity, he knew what he wanted...he just wanted to have it as a guy, of course.

Why do you think he got such a big response?

Look, it's no secret that the magazines and tabloids live for dirt. Y'know, like some C-list starlet gets breast cancer and suddenly she's front-page news. They package it like a "triumph of the human spirit" thing, but people love to see celebrities brought low. Maybe getting knocked off the pedestal humanizes them or something.

So the media saw Tristan as demeaning himself?

Some did. But they also loved the novelty of the whole thing. And more important, the photogs knew that Tristan was their meal ticket. If they got some embarrassing pics of him looking or acting like a guy in drag, it'd be big money. So they followed him around like he was some A-list actress. But—and this is the best part—because they followed him so much, it only increased his profile, which would made a pic like that all the more valuable. His celebrity was feeding itself!

At the cost of his privacy.

Yes, but Tristan never really considered himself to be a woman...this was all an elaborate charade, a role to be played. It was never meant to be long-term, but he had to stay "in character," so to speak.

And as long as he never broke character, the press wouldn't get the dirty photos they craved.

So having to live full-time as a woman was like...method acting?

Something like that. Tristan always had wonderful potential. People didn't realize that he could be quite a gifted actor.

Yeah, when he wanted to be.

Yes, that's my point exactly. He didn't want to be a woman, but here he found himself in a position where he didn't have any choice in the matter. I think that helped him "commit" to the role, even if he found it distasteful.

I think the word you're looking for is "humiliating."

That's interesting since the whole point of this exercise was not only to generate attention, but also to showcase Tristan's acting talents. And in many ways this was a bravura performance. But if people didn't realize he was acting—

Then his performance was wasted. At least until he came clean and did the big reveal. Or so went the theory.

So at this point CrusaderCon has come and gone, and the shooting for the new season of Galaxy Crusaders has started. By now the deception had gone on for several months—presumably longer than you originally planned—did you start to worry about how you were going to "re-introduce" Tristan as a male actor?

You bet your ass I did. Tristan hated every minute in dresses, but the press and public were starting to get comfortable with the idea of him as a female celebrity, or at least a female-seeming one. We'd been so focused on making them forget who he was that we never stopped to consider that we might be burning our bridges behind us.

So how did you address that?

I figured I'd help 'em REMEMBER who he used to be.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND TRISTAN'S HOUSE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Max and Barbara are having a drink and talking when Tristan enters wearing a colorful one-piece swim suit that flatters his increasingly feminine figure. He's dressed for the beach like a stylish young woman with a scarf tied around his waist, open toed sandals, and designer sunglasses perched on top of his long hair that's been pinned back. He's fiddling with the swimsuit self-consciously.

Oh, Tristan! You look so chic!

Great, that's what I was going for.

Now don't fidget, dear.

She begins fussing at little details in his outfit.

What a lovely job on your makeup! Perfect for an outing to the beach, and very photogenic. Oh, but no earrings?

Mother...

Leave the boy alone, Barbara.

Oh, and what a cute little figure you're getting, too. You're starting to get rather hippy!

Mother...

It's nothing to be ashamed of, dear. Once your bosom fills in a little bit more you'll be fighting the boys off with a stick!

Mother!

Don't worry about it, kid. It'll all be done before you know it and you can write about it in your memoirs.

"Dear diary: Guys were attracted to my boobs. Fought them off with a stick." Fantastic. The book deals will be rolling in.

Sarcasm is unattractive, Tristan.

Knock it off, you two. And the whole point of today isn't to be all girly, anyway.

I'd have thought you'd appreciate that, at least.

I still don't understand why you think it's important that we go out of our way to remind people that he's not the young woman he appears. He's worked very hard to become a lovely and alluring young miss.

Tristan opens his mouth to object.

Ah, ah! Charming young ladies accept compliments gracefully, dear.

Tristan shuts his mouth and glares at her.

I'm just sayin' it can't be all frou-frou and doilies, is all.

I'm not suggesting that it should be. But this seems...ill-advised.

For once, I agree. And what are doilies, anyway?

Exactly. Nobody cares about that girly stuff. The more girly he acts, the more we need to show that he's still the same old Tristan so that we don't disillusion his current fans or make it harder for him to reintegrate when he swaps back. Just you wait and see, ol' Max is thinking three steps ahead on this one.

This will end in tears.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTERTAINMENT HOLLYWOOD STUDIO (ARCHIVED NEWS FOOTAGE)
Video footage of a TV broadcast featuring entertainment news. A man and a woman sit at the desk, both smiling at the camera. The camera zooms in on the woman and shows a photo of Tristan playing beach volleyball with the caption "Playing With The Boys?"

And in the lighter side of the news, yesterday saw another appearance of the sex-swap actor-to-actress Tristan Sinclair, out for a day of fun with some of her old chums on the beach.

VIDEO of a few shots of Tristan horsing around a bunch of male friends, jumping into the surf and grabbing a surfboard.

Wearing a cute little off-the-shoulder one-piece, Tristan was showing off some of her new and decidedly un-boyish curves while she cavorted with the boys. An accomplished surfer, Tristan seemed to be having a little bit more difficulty than usual.

VIDEO clips of Tristan surfing, including a couple awkward spills into the surf.

Think she was having trouble with her new center of gravity?

Well she certainly doesn't seem to have the same muscle tone we saw last summer! Of course, things got a little bit more frustrating for the newly distaff young actress when she tried her hand at beach volleyball.

VIDEO of Tristan and his friends playing volleyball in their swim suits. Tristan is obviously having a little trouble keeping up, and seems self-conscious when he accidentally bumps into the guys. At one point he backs up to hit the ball, trips over his own feet, and falls smack on his butt. The volleyball then rebounds off the top of his head. He's not hurt, but the look of stunned bewilderment on his made-up face says it all.

The newscasters in the studio smile broadly while the frozen picture of Tristan's flummoxed expression remains on screen, picture-in-picture style.

Looks like she might do better to just cheer the guys on from the sidelines! Get that girl some pom-poms!

Yeah, I think her days of running with the big boys are behind her. Don't worry though, Tristan, we think you're adorkable!

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

Looking back on it, I guess the athletics at the beach wasn't such a great idea.

I disagree! It didn't do much to remind people of his old self, but he did look like an endearing young gamine gamely playing with the boys. Before that, he was on track to come across like just another pretentious and narcissistic diva, but this made him seem more charming and approachable.

By now filming had started on the new season for Galaxy Crusaders, right? How did that go?

Story-wise it worked out great. They wrote his change right into the show. They came up with some sci-fi mumbo jumbo about how the gender reversal disease or whatever flared up again and turned his character into a woman full-time. So Lt. Aaron Fairchild became Lt. Erin Fairchild, and they could write scenes about how he had to handle the change. Great stuff.

That first episode was interesting because Tristan had to do his first few scenes as a male before his character changed into a female. But by that point, he'd been living as a woman for something like four months. Was that difficult for him?

Before the episode filmed, I remember him saying how good it was going to feel shucking all the girly stuff and being a guy again, even if only briefly to shoot his few scenes as a man before his character's transformation kicked in. But when it came time to do it, he got kind of moody about the whole thing.

Until that moment I don't think Tristan fully appreciated how much he'd changed in so short a period of time.

Short MONTAGE of production stills and short clips from the episode showing Tristan in character as the male Aaron Fairchild. Unlike his previous appearances as the character he looks decidedly more feminine, even without makeup. His higher cheekbones, fuller lips and slightly more rounded features give him a very androgynous appearance, and even some of his mannerisms seem more effeminate.

How was it otherwise for Tristan being back on set?

It was trying for him. It was one thing to play at being the coy mademoiselle to strangers in the public and the press, but now he was in front of his co-stars and peers presenting as a young woman.

But he'd done that four years earlier in the "Mists of Gynos" episode. Did that help at all?

Not especially. Back then he'd done it because the script demanded it, so it was just a bit of whimsy he was obligated to perform. Now he was essentially telling everyone that he had voluntarily chosen to become a woman.

Plus, his co-workers were his fellow actors...these were people used to playing roles and seeing through deception. Being around them really put him on edge.

So they weren't accepting?

Truth be told, I think the folks that were returning were just happy to still have their jobs. Remember, they were changing up the show to try and make it more hip, more edgy, more sexy. They had bigger things to worry about rather than Tristan.

So with all that change going on, what do you think the cast considered to be their "big problem?"

Well, certainly they had a number of—

Jackson Deerwood.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

There was a lot of uneasiness amongst the fans about Jackson being hired as the new captain on the show. Was that also true for the cast and crew?

He absolutely had a reputation, and not a good one. The drinking, the womanizing, the tantrums on set, it was troubling. But we knew he'd also be good for the ratings, at least for a while, which was good for us.

Understand, most of the cast had been together for five seasons. And seasons on a TV show, especially one like Galaxy Crusaders, are like dog years. We were like a family so this was all pretty traumatic.

And Tristan was part of that family?

Yes...

But?

When you're part of an ensemble cast, there's always a give and take. You need to trust your fellow cast mates—

She's trying to be delicate. Tristan had always only been there to serve himself, and it only got worse after Connor Covington left the show to do movies. Those two were always hyper-competitive and Tristan took Connor's success personally. He became a real prima donna, convinced he was better than the rest of us.

He was focused on his own career?

What career? GC was the only thing he knew. He was a hot property when he was in his teens, but that well had gone dry. For all his bluster, Galaxy Crusaders was his life.

Sad, really.

CUT TO:

INT. FELICITY'S OFFICE - DAY
Felicity is seated on a couch in her office being interviewed by Graham, as before.

I get the impression that life on the GC set may have been rather isolated for Tristan.

I suppose that's true. As I said, even before the change Tristan tended to put himself on a pedestal and isolated himself from the rest of us. So by the time she came back as a woman she didn't exactly have many friends on set.

Did you consider yourself to be Tristan's friend?

Well, I do care for Tristan. Though sometimes our relationship has been a bit...complicated.

How so?

When we started on Galaxy Crusaders, we were still teenagers. He was like my brother. And then after the change, I guess she was like my sister.

And there was that romantic entanglement in between.

Like I said, it's been complicated.

It interests me that you're referring to Tristan as "she." After all, you were one of the very few people that knew the truth that Tristan wasn't genuinely transgender and that this was all just a big publicity stunt.

Old habits are hard to break, I guess? Once Tristan started presenting as female, it was just simpler to always refer to her that way. I guess I'm not as adept at keeping all the names and pronouns straight depending on who she was presenting to.

That's an odd thing to say, coming from an actress!

Well, I guess it's fortunate I don't do much acting these days. It's more fun being a producer, anyway!

CUT TO:

INT. GALAXY CRUADERS SET (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
On the set of Galaxy Crusaders, setting up in between takes. Tristan walks up wearing the new female duty uniform, consisting of a very fitted top, short skirt, and calf-high boots with heels. He's worn women's clothes in public, but he's obviously self-conscious about wearing the skimpy outfit on set. As he enters, he spots Felicity sitting nearby with a textbook and notepad in her lap, dressed in a matching uniform.

Looking hot, Tristan!

Another stage hand wolf whistles. Tristan tugs at his skirt as he sits next to Felicity.

Comedians.

Um, I hate to break it to you, girlfriend, but I don't think they were joking. That was unsolicited lasciviousness right there. You are seriously working that outfit.

If it was unsolicited, why do I feel like I'm going to get picked up for solicitation?

Yeah, well, welcome to the club, sister. At least you have the legs for it! Though I did notice that Kat still gets to wear pants, unlike us "junior officers." I'm thinking about bucking for a promotion.

"GMAT Practice Tests." I think you might be studying the wrong star cluster.

Make jokes if you want, but I'm serious about going for my MBA. I'm looking forward to a future when my job doesn't require me to wear a miniskirt and high heeled boots.

Yeah, me, too.

Seriously, Tristan, I know we've been busy with the show, but you should at least think about finishing your GED. There's a life beyond Galaxy Crusaders, you know.

Yeah, well, that's kind of the point of this little escapade, isn't it? Build some press, bail out, move into features, and then none of this will matter anymore.

He stands up and stretches.

God, I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap. It's just...hard, y'know?

Jackson walks in briskly from off-camera, and slaps Tristan's butt, who yelps in surprise.

What's hard, little moon queen?

It's nothing.

Hey, I've got something that's hard, too. Want to help me with it?

Wow, that's really flattering, but I'll pass.

Speaking of passing, I gotta say you look a whole lot better like this, hot stuff. The other day when you were doing your last scenes pretending to be a guy I thought you looked like a girl dressed up in her boyfriend's clothes.

Tristan looks stricken.

'Course I bet a sweet little thing like you probably has lots of boyfriends, don'cha?

Leave her alone, Jackson. She's not interested.

Hey, it's a compliment! YOU tell me she doesn't look better as a chick. You ask me, any time a skinny little dweeb turns himself into a hot piece of ass, both genders are better off.

I—I'm not—!

Ahh, don't be that way, little moon queen. Besides, if you're gonna walk around lookin' like that, you're gonna need to learn to take a compliment. Okay, I'm gonna go take a whiz.

Jackson walks off, swatting Tristan on the butt again as he passes. Tristan flinches but says nothing.

Jackass.

Tristan, you can't just—hey, are you okay?

I...I have to go...

He hurries off.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

Tristan's little stunt did have its advantages, though.

How so?

We had some great writers on the show, but female characters on a sci-fi show tended to get the short end of the stick. All the really meaty stuff went to the guys. We'd usually end up having a throwaway romance with a character we'd never seen before or since. Or something would happen like, "I can no longer sense my connection to my ancestors" and spend the entire episode whining about it. Meanwhile, the men would figure out the problem and fix it.

And then there was the fan service.

Yeah, God save me from another skimpy clingy uniform! When I leaned over the healing beds in med bay I felt like the whole world was my gynecologist.

"Paging Doctor Moon..."

Tina playfully shoves Kat.

Oh thank you SO much for reminding me of that! I'd almost forgotten about that stupid Internet video loop of me bending over!

And Tristan somehow helped with all this?

Indirectly. Since his character on the show changed sex involuntarily, the writers thought that putting him in those kinds of stereotypically female narratives was a "fresh take."

I gotta admit, it was pretty funny seeing him romanced by that Nebulan ambassador in that one episode. Seeing him flirt like a girl was pretty hilarious.

That was a cute dress, too! I was a little jealous, he had a sexy figure!

PHOTO of a production still from the episode. Tristan is wearing a blue gossamer top with a short skirt and high heels. He's dancing awkwardly with an amorous man with bright red skin and jet black hair who's wearing a formal uniform.

Anyway, with Tristan picking up a lot of the "girly" work, it actually helped improve the quality of the episodes that featured our characters. I got to do that one story that was a metaphor for the AIDS epidemic in Africa, and didn't you do that one where you negotiated that weapons disarmament thing?

Right, it was the peace treaty between the Confederacy and the Kralax Imperium. That was a big deal on the show! We got tons of positive fan mail after that one.

Definitely some of your best work!

CUT TO:

INT. FELICITY'S OFFICE - DAY
Felicity is seated on a couch in her office being interviewed by Graham, as before.

Were you surprised by the fan reactions to the new direction of the show?

I think shocked is a better word! Whenever you hear that a show is retooling it's usually the kiss of death. Much like the fans, I tried to stay cautiously optimistic about the new direction, but honestly I thought it'd last another half a season at most. In my wildest dreams I never thought it would be MORE popular!

Do you think Tristan's change had anything to do with that?

I'm sure SHE thought so! Though a couple of the new characters like Dan O'Hara's Ambros also proved pretty popular in their own right. Personally I think it's more fair to say that taking chances with the characters like that was emblematic of the show's new creative direction, and that kind of thinking really allowed the show to come into its own. Once it stopped trying to imitate the formulas used by other shows, it really found its own voice. It got a little more militaristic which brought more action back into the show, but they also mixed it up with some really thought-provoking episodes, and even a little comedy. I think it also stopped taking itself quite so seriously...it let us loosen up a little.

With Tristan getting more stereotypically female story lines, did you find that it improved your stories for your character, Lt. Clarke?

I can see you've been talking to Tina and Kat. I think that's true, but interestingly I found myself sharing more screen time with Tristan than I had in the past. Since her character wasn't female by choice, the writers seemed to enjoy putting me opposite her as a kind of "big sister." Her character's awkwardness and embarrassment tended to pigeonhole her as the comic relief—which I'm not sure satisfied Tristan all that much—but it turned out that she DID have some pretty good comedic timing. We got some fun episodes out of that.

What was your favorite?

I know some people hate it, but I really enjoyed "The Princess Paradox." It was cute and fun and different, and many of the fans thought it was a hoot. You'd never have seen us do that kind of show before the retooling, it was too whimsical.

That was kind of a Tristan-centric episode, wasn't it?

Yeah, her character was kind of the driving force behind the plot. She was bitching about being a woman and Mr. Multiverse appeared on the scene.

CUT TO:

A scene from the episode where Tristan's character, Lt. Fairchild, is confronting the universe-altering being, Mr. Multiverse.

Something you want to get off your chest, Lieutenant?

C'mon, you can change me back into a man! I know you can!

What? I thought you people were all about exploring new frontiers! Did the inscrutable mysteries of the ladies' lavatory prove too daunting for you?

Please, I didn't want to be a woman! Who WOULD?

Hey, now.

Yeah, speak for yourself, missy.

There, you see? The muliebrity of your fellow shipmates hasn't held them back. Overmuch.

HEY, now!

Oh, very well. In honor of the young Lieutenant's "maiden voyage," we'll have a little sport of it!

There's a bright flash as Mr. Multiverse uses his powers.

CUT TO:

Back to the interview with Felicity.

As I recall, in the episode, Mr. Multiverse spirited away the four main female characters into a fairytale land and turned them into storybook princesses...and then he changed Captain Mercer into a knight and gave him until sundown to rescue the "damsels in distress."

That's right. My character was turned into Rapunzel, Kat's character became Snow White, Tina's character was amphibious so she became The Little Mermaid, and Tristan was Cinderella.

How did Tristan adjust to being "one of the girls?"

She hated the big poofy gown but then we all got some good-natured ribbing from the cast and crew for our costumes. I thought it was kind of fun...it was all a great lark and a welcome departure from all the space opera.

PHOTO of a production still from the episode with the four "princesses" posing in their gowns with Jackson Deerwood standing in the center dressed like a knight.

Although WOW did Kat ever hate that episode.

Why is that?

She just loathed the whole "damsel in distress" thing. She thought it was demeaning to women.

But that was kind of the whole point of the episode, wasn't it? To break the paradigm?

Except that SHE wasn't the one to break it.

CUT TO:

Another scene from the episode. Captain Mercer has rescued Lt. Clarke, Commander Lockhart, and Dr. Zelexia but they look on from the castle in horror as the sun is setting. Mr. Multiverse is looking particularly smug.

Oh, no! The sun!

Erin...

You cheating bastard!

Sorry, Captain, time's up. It's a shame the lovely young Lieutenant had to be the one to pay the price for your—

Suddenly, the large doors of the castle are smashed open as an elaborate horse-drawn coach bursts in. Lt. Fairchild, still dressed as Cinderella, is at the reins. Her face is sooty, her hair disheveled, and her once-lavish ball gown is torn and muddy.

Sorry I'm late. I'd have been here sooner, but hitching a team of mice to a pumpkin is harder than it sounds. Also, I think I might have lost a shoe.

How—?

Self-rescuing princess.

CUT TO:

Back to the interview with Felicity.

So Kat resented that Tristan's character was the only one to save herself?

Yeah, it really bothered her. Tina and I also liked the idea of our characters being more proactive, but Jackson felt that undercut his character's role in the story, and he usually got what he wanted.

But that was also the whole point of the episode, wasn't it? To demonstrate to Tristan's character that she was still just as capable as a woman?

True. Though she was a bit of a slow learner in that regard...

CUT TO:

Another scene at the end of the episode. The crew is back on the bridge of the Endeavor, still in their fantasy clothing, while Mr. Multiverse starts to take his leave.

Mr. M., I just want to say thanks...I could have done without the life-and-limb danger, but I think I get the point you were trying to make.

Atta girl! See, that whole "separate but equal" thing is working out for you already.

Still, if it's all the same to you, I'd REALLY prefer to be a—

Not gonna happen, kid.

Dammit.

Mr. Multiverse gestures and there's a flash of light and the crew are restored to their regular duty uniforms. However, Erin is still wearing her tiara.

Call it a souvenir. Looks good on you.

He disappears in a flash.

CUT TO:

Back to the interview with Felicity.

You mentioned Jackson Deerwood. Tell me about him.

Jackson was brought on board to boost ratings, which he did. He had a "bad boy" reputation but they paid him a small fortune, and he was used to getting his way.

Was he difficult to work with?

Look, not to speak ill of the departed, but when Jackson died in that overdose a couple years ago I don't think anybody was either surprised or shed many tears. I'm just thankful that he managed to save his inevitable implosion until after the show ended so he didn't bring more innocent people down with him. He was a drunkard and a letch.

How was he on set?

Loud, boorish, conceited, unprofessional...but he knew how to play to the crowd. And the camera. He could be funny and charming when it suited him. He...

Yes?

It's nothing.

Pauses, a beat.

It's just, I was going to say he actually reminded me a little bit of Tristan. Before the change, of course. It was like seeing the male Tristan fast-forwarded twenty years. I knew to give him as wide a berth as possible.

Did he and Tristan get along?

If Tristan had still been a guy, who knows? They were cut from the same cloth. But as it was, Jackson chased anything in a skirt, and at that point Tristan definitely qualified. I think Jackson saw her as a challenge.

And how did Tristan deal with it?

She handled Jackson...differently...than I would have. I tried to warn her about how her behavior might be misperceived, but she hated it when I suggested that she was doing something wrong. And her opinions of women...

Were unexpected?

Unfortunately, just the opposite. She was acting maddeningly true to form. As a man she was always kind of a misogynist, and as a woman that really didn't change. Maybe it was just self-loathing, but the way she started acting...it was almost like some of the girls she used to date.

You're saying Tristan was promiscuous?

Honestly, I've no idea. She'd been to a few red carpet functions...sometimes she'd go with a guy, sometimes a girl. Maybe they were just friends. I don't know. I didn't ask questions.

So what was the problem?

It's just that as a guy, Tristan made no secret about his conquests, he'd even brag about them. But as a girl, she didn't appreciate that how that kind of reputation can get around. And Jackson was definitely plugged in to the gossip mill.

CUT TO:

INT. GALAXY CRUADERS SET (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
On the set of Galaxy Crusaders, between takes. The current scene is set in the lounge on board ship and there are various cast members and extras sitting drinking and chatting around small tables. Some are dressed as aliens, some are in the standard duty uniforms, and some are in futuristic casual wear. Tristan and Felicity are standing having a discussion, while Kat and Tina sit nearby having their makeup touched up. Tristan and Felicity's characters are off duty and are dressed in colorful short breezy dresses, while Kat and Tina are wearing their duty uniforms.

I really don't see how that's in any way relevant.

You've never wondered. Not once. Really?

Why would I possibly care how many sexual partners my character has had?

Well, I think it grants important insights into the characters we're trying to portray. Personally I think we have a right to know. Hey, Tina, you're curious, aren't you?

My character is an amphibious alien, remember? Frankly the less I know about it, the happier I am.

My point exactly.

Kat and her female makeup artist share a quick glance.

Hey, I saw that! What was that?

Just thinking that some things never change.

Which means...?

I was just saying the other day how much fun it is to have you around as a "little sister" since you're obviously SO much happier. But I didn't think that a horny leopard could change her spots.

Hey, just because I'm not a complete PRUDE...

I'm not passing judgment! I mean, we all saw the kind of girls you used to go out with.

Felicity clears her throat loudly.

Present company excepted, of course! I'm just saying that you obviously tended to gravitate to...how can I put this delicately...?

Sluts?

Yes, that's it. Thank you, Tina. Sluts. And if that's what you really think of women, then it will be interesting to see what kind of woman you become.

Did she just call me a slut?

Actually, I think she called ME a slut. You're a slut-by-proxy.

You were excepted! Tina?

It's true, she excepted you. I'm a witness.

But I'm still a slut.

By proxy.

Jackson comes breezing onto the set with a small entourage in tow. He breaks away from one of his attractive female assistants to approach the group.

Heeeey! There's my girls! How we doing today, ladies?

Jackson walks up between Tristan and Felicity and puts his arms around their waists and admires their outfits.

Hot damn, they installing a dance club on this ship or something? God, I LOVE the future!

Felicity angrily squirms out of Jackson's grasp, but Tristan stoically accepts the gesture and manages a weak smile.

You think they still have sexual harassment in the future?

God, I hope so. Hey, you don't see Tristan complaining.

He runs his hand up and down Tristan's side.

Ooh, somebody's been working out. You getting your exercise?

I have a trainer.

I'm sure you do. You ever feel like putting that training into practice, I know some vigorous exercises.

Ladies.

Jackson walks off to talk to the director. As he leaves, Kat and Tina make eye contact but say nothing.

Felicity pulls Tristan away and out of earshot of the others, and lowers her voice.

What the hell was that?

So what, he's an asshole, big deal. I can handle him. Felicity, I know guys like him.

Tristan, you ARE guys like him. And all teasing aside, you're just encouraging him.

Oh, so this is the "big sister to little sister" chat, then? Here to offer me some womanly advice on how to handle a man? Oh, DO share, won't you? I'm breathless.

You know what? Maybe they're right about you. Maybe you really do think women are supposed to act like this. I'd HOPED that your little charade would have given you a little more respect for women, but maybe you should just start with a little self-respect first.

She storms off.

Felicity—!

Pauses, a beat.

Shit.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

What about Tristan's interactions with Jackson Deerwood?

I think that's self-evident, given what happened.

I'm more interested in what happened before the incident.

Well it's no secret that Jackson could be...difficult...to work with.

He was a pig.

Tina tilts her head in agreement.

The drinking would have been bad enough, but he really thought he was God's gift to women. Every time I had to share a scene with him was excruciating. He could joke around and be charming, but he'd also find ways to touch you in inappropriate ways or make lewd comments.

And this was accepted?

He was like a god on that set. The producers knew what they were getting when they hired him. What were we supposed to say? "That alcoholic lothario you knowingly hired was drinking and making crude passes at me?" Well, duh.

Did that behavior on set also extend to Tristan?

I don't recall.

Kat...

What? I think it's pretty obvious.

I don't think it's fair what we did to him.

Kat remains silent.

Fine, then. Kat's right that Jackson was a pig, but he was also a bully. And we were scared of him.

Kat starts to object, but Tina cuts her off.

No, it's true. Not just because of the groping and sexist comments, but we knew the pull he had with the producers, and you have to remember we'd just barely avoided getting the axe. So to avoid getting picked on, we stood by and let him pick on an easier target.

You mean Tristan.

Oh, c'mon, you're making it sound like we offered him up like some kind of sacrificial lamb! He was a big boy, even if he did have boobs. He could take care of himself. We didn't force him into that situation.

We certainly didn't jump to his defense, either! Dressing him up in those skimpy little outfits and parading him around in front of Jackson was just asking for trouble.

Yeah, well, whose fault was that? Besides, Tristan could have walked away whenever he wanted.

Well WE didn't, did we? And remember what happened with the strippers?

Strippers?

Early in the season, Jackson was allowed to direct an episode...the now-infamous "Pleasure Slaves of Zentax." In it, all of us female cast members— including Tristan—were captured and dressed as Zentaxian Pleasure Girls—

To this day I swear that was a spec script submitted by a horny thirteen year old.

I'm just saying this shows how much power Jackson had over the show that they even allowed something like that to be made. Anyway, there's this scene— I'm sure you've seen it—where Tristan's character has to get a message to the captain—namely Jackson—and the only way he can deliver it is to do an exotic dance at a dinner being held in the captain's honor.

VIDEO showing a scene from the episode in question. Tristan, wearing a skimpy silver outfit, is dancing extremely provocatively in front of a banquet table, and seated there are Jackson's character and a number of assembled aliens, all men. The other female members of the show can be seen in the background dressed similarly to Tristan, lounging on pillows like harem girls. As Tristan approaches Jackson to deliver his message, the dance begins to more closely resemble a lap dance, with Tristan grinding his buttocks against Jackson's crotch.

As I recall, this episode almost wasn't aired because of the strong sexual content. And it was widely panned.

By everyone except horny adolescent boys, yes.

Jackson insisted on several rehearsals of this scene—you can guess why—but he was always dissatisfied with Tristan's performance. After that, he hired a couple of strippers to teach Tristan how to "dance properly." We didn't see much of Tristan after that, but there were rumors that Jackson had insisted on screening a "private performance."

Which nobody was ever able to confirm, mind you.

True. But watching Tristan degrade himself on set like that was just horrible. At one point he ran off in tears. Nobody took him seriously after that episode aired.

What, you'd have preferred that it was YOU doing that dance? Or me? Or Felicity? You ask me, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

I'm just saying you could cut him some slack. That was pretty awful.

Actually, after that, and against my better judgment, I started to question if this whole woman thing really was a scam by Tristan. That he'd debase himself and then come back for more was just unbelievable. I figured he was either the real deal or Jackson had something on him.

CUT TO:

INT. MAX'S OFFICE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Max and Barbara are in Max's office and sitting very close to each other on the couch as Tristan barges in, wearing a short overcoat that does nothing to hide the fact that he's still wearing the skimpy silver outfit of a Zentaxian Pleasure Girl underneath. He's in tears and doesn't notice as the couple edge farther apart from each other.

Tristan, honey, what's wrong?

I won't do it anymore! I'm done! I'm through! I hate this! I just hate it!

Barbara stands up to hold the sobbing Tristan while Max moves over to his desk.

There, there, sweetie, I'm sure it's not as bad as all that.

It is! Just look what I have to wear! I have to strut around and dance like some kind of outer space stripper while everyone laughs at me.

They're laughing at you?

Well, they don't do it to my face...but they're all gawking at me! And the way he...he touches me...

Who's touching you?

Tristan doesn't answer and hugs himself.

I'm not going back there. I'm not. Tomorrow I'm going to get these stupid boobs removed and I'm gonna tell everyone the truth and I'm going to go back to being a guy.

Barbara and Max eye each other nervously. Max clears his throat and holds up a script on his desk.

Well, hey, we got good news today! You got a movie offer!

What, really?

I told you old Max'd come through, kid. It's a great part, you'd be one of the two leads!

This...this is great! Oh, this is perfect! I go back to being a guy, we reveal the hoax and get a ton of free publicity, just in time for the new movie where everyone can see me as a leading man!

Max clears his throat nervously.

What's the part?

Max doesn't answer. Tristan looks to Barbara, more suspiciously.

What's the part?

Sweetie, it's a stepping stone...

Tristan grabs the script out of Max's hand.

"A Fairy's Tale. A tale of young romance where Marcus, a lonely and artistic young man creates beautiful drawings of a woodland fairy, and is shocked when a lovely and enigmatic young woman arrives in his village who resembles his drawings."

And I would be playing...?

Lorelei. The, um, the fairy.

It's a good part! It's a lead!

IT'S A FAIRY! A GIRL fairy!

Kid, it's the best we've gotten! It's got a good director, star power attached, and a strong script. It's even got Oscar buzz!

Oscar buzz?

And it's a period piece! You know how the Academy loves those!

Tristan pauses to consider that and crosses his arms, looking down fretfully at his bosom in the silver bikini top.

You said there was star power attached?

Honey, just keep an open mind...

Who?

Max hesitates.

WHO?

Connor Covington.

Oh, HELL no!

Kid, he's got box office mojo...him being attached is money in the bank.

Then let HIM be the fairy! He is already, you know. God, if you think for one second I'm going to snuggle up with that pompous piece of—

You're going to take the part.

Not likely!

Oh, you're going to, all right. Do you know why? Because it's a GOOD part. In a good film, with a good budget. They could have approached any pouty-lipped Hollywood teen queen but they want YOU. And this is ALL YOU'VE GOT. Nothing else. No other offers. Nobody beating down your door. This is your one and only shot, otherwise your legacy will be prancing around as a space bimbo in a silver showgirl costume.

I just want this to be over.

I know you do, honey. But opportunities like this don't come along very often. Play your cards right and you can do what you want. You'll finally get the respect you deserve.

This is your golden ticket, kid.

What about Galaxy Crusaders?

You're still under contract. But if you drop the charade now they'll probably drop you like a hot potato. And the movie deal would be history.

Yeah, I was afraid you were gonna say that.

He pauses to consider his options.

Fine, I'll do it.

The film?

Yeah.

You won't regret it, kid!

Tristan starts heading for the door.

Hey, where ya goin'? We should celebrate!

Later. Right now they need me back on the set so that Lt. Fairchild can disguise herself as a Zentaxian Pleasure Girl and give her drunken captain a lap dance.

Tristan leaves the room. Max walks up beside Barbara.

So when are we gonna tell him about the personal appearance clause in the contract?

I think one hissy fit is enough for one day, don't you? Just get him to sign the contract and I'll call Doctor Rosen to set it up.

You think the kid will go through with it?

We'll just keep telling him it's all reversible. Besides, we knew this was coming. And after all, what Hollywood starlet hasn't had a little nip and tuck done?

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

Tristan's decision to star as a romantic lead opposite Connor Covington obviously made a significant splash on the news.

Oh, yes, it was quite the talk of the town. The two former romantic rivals, now reuniting to do a romantic film together? It was the kind of story that could only happen in Hollywood.

NEWS VIDEO from an entertainment news show showing Tristan and Connor at a press release for "A Fairy's Tale." Flashes are going off as the young stars pose for pictures, smiling for the cameras. They're holding hands and at one point Connor even kisses Tristan's hand. The press is eating it up. Tristan blushes and smiles in response and is looking a bit flustered, especially next to Connor's more confident demeanor.

So Tristan was fully on board with doing the movie, then?

Eh...

He understood what it could mean. It wasn't what he wanted or expected, but he understood that with a little luck and a little leverage, it could be the career boost we'd been looking for.

A way out, you mean.

Well, certainly that. But—

Barbara, that's all he cared about. This whole thing had gotten out of hand. We'd keep telling him, "The only way out is through," and he'd soldier on, but the stress was getting to him.

Speaking of stress, the movie contact also had a personal appearance clause, isn't that right?

Yeah, those guys weren't dummies. Just like with the GC contract they put some stipulations about Tristan's appearance to make sure he wasn't going to make fools of them. But GC had an ensemble cast, so they knew they could always just fire Tristan if he became an embarrassment. But the movie was taking more of a chance on Tristan since he was gonna be the leading lady.

So they had more to lose?

Right. I mean, this wasn't a mega blockbuster or anything, this was more of an indie film with a decent budget. Connor's folks were setting it up to showcase his range, and maybe make a play at some Oscar buzz if the kid looked good.

So what did the contract require of Tristan?

Much of it was the same as in the Galaxy Crusaders contract. Tristan was already doing a lovely job presenting as a woman, but they had one or two additional requirements.

Heh. Two, specifically.

Max, really.

Barbara, I know you're uncomfortable with how it turned out, but there's no reason to be coy. The main thing they wanted was bigger tits.

Breast augmentation surgery?

Yeah. The hormones were working gangbusters— actually way faster than anyone expected—so Tristan already had some respectable growth up top. With some padding and a little makeup he could definitely turn heads. But the producers—and Connor's folks in particular—didn't want there to be any question about Tristan's femininity.

But...Tristan's change was public knowledge, wasn't it?

Sure, and the producers loved the press. The former rivals reunited, with one turning himself into a hot little starlet. But this was an issue of—pardon my French—fuckability. The guys in the audience had to be able to look at Tristan and think, "I'd fuck her," even if they'd never admit it. The producers knew they were playing with fire given Tristan's past, but they thought it might skate for an indie film...it might even be considered progressive. But the conventional Hollywood wisdom for romance films is that the audience has to be able to imagine themselves in the place of the leads, and therefore attracted to the other lead. So it wasn't enough for Tristan to look like a girl. For every red-blooded guy in the audience, he had to come across on screen as a potential romantic partner.

So how drastic were the changes they were requesting?

They were actually pretty modest.

He looks to Barbara, who looks uncomfortable.

Maybe another cup size or so? It wasn't all that big a change, really.

Yes.

How did Tristan react?

He had kittens, like you'd expect. But really it was a fairly small change and he'd already committed to needing breast reduction surgery when he changed back, so when he stopped climbing the walls, he eventually came around. And actually...

Max turns to look to Barbara knowingly.

Yes?

Well, you were there.

I made the appointment with the doctor and even accompanied Tristan. He was furious with me for the whole thing and he barely spoke the entire ride over, but during the appointment, he...

She hesitates for a long moment.

Did Tristan have second thoughts?

I don't know exactly what happened.

CUT TO:

INT. DR. ROSEN'S OFFICE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Tristan and Barbara are sitting in Dr. Rosen's office, the plastic surgeon who had performed some minor facial surgery on Tristan some months before, now here for the consultation for Tristan's breast enhancement procedure. Barbara seems a little nervous since Tristan is clearly angry at her, but Tristan isn't showing it in front of the doctor.

Tristan, please, you have to talk to me eventually.

He doesn't respond.

Sweetheart, you know I'm very sorry about all this. It wasn't my choice either, you know.

They sit in silence a few moments as the doctor enters.

Tristan! Barbara! Ah, wonderful to see you again.

He greets them warmly, taking a long moment to look at Tristan's face.

Oh, yes, that's lovely, just lovely. Isn't she a vision? That must be wonderful seeing that face in the mirror.

I can't believe it's really me.

I'm sure! It's such a pleasure helping people like yourself live the lives they've always wanted. Please...sit, sit.

They all sit comfortably around a small table.

Now your mother tells me you're interested in breast augmentation, is that right?

Tristan has a leading role in a movie she'll be shooting in a few months and she needs a slightly fuller figure.

Congratulations! How exciting for you. Now, of course I'm happy to help but I should say my first recommendation would be to forego surgery for now and let the hormones do their work. You've only been on them for—what?—nine months now? Your body has changed remarkably quickly given such a short time frame, but it's very likely you'll see some more growth yet.

Yes, we understand that, Doctor, but unfortunately we don't have that luxury. But if she should later choose to have them reduced or removed, that would be an option, yes?

Yes, of course...though I'm always leery to talk about possible reductions when we're discussing enhancements. In my experience, it's better to be patient and certain what you want.

Oh, I'm certain that I know what I want, Doctor.

Yes...yes, that's good, dear. There, you see? And fortunately we're only looking for a modest—

Actually, Mother, I did a bit of research myself. Doctor, I understand that a common mistake is to just focus on the size of the breasts when it's also important to consider the shape, position, cleavage, and other elements like that, is that right?

Yes, that's true. You should always consider the whole—

Tristan retrieves an envelope from his purse.

So I read that it's helpful to have several pictures of women I'd like to look like so there's no question about the look I'm trying to achieve.

He spreads a handful of photos on the table of various women in swimsuits, lingerie, even topless.

Ah, you have done your research. Yes, that's very often a good exer—oh.

The doctor picks up one of the photos of a particularly busty blonde woman in a skimpy bikini. Her breasts are a good double-D cup on her small frame. The other photos show similarly well-endowed women.

I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you wanted a more...modest...enhancement?

Oh, no. As I said, I'm quite certain I know what I want. This is the kind of woman I want to be: busty, confident, unashamed.

Tristan, this isn't amusing.

Oh, I'm quite serious, Mother. I know this isn't what you might have wanted, but this is what I want. I thought you'd be happy for me?

Tristan, you don't have to do this. The movie contract only requires a small enhancement.

Oh, I'm sure they'll be thrilled if I go bigger. I know I will be!

If you're trying to make some kind of a point—

Mother, the only point I'm trying to make is that I want to have a big set of boobs. And I don't need your approval. I'm a big girl, after all.

Tristan, this is obviously a big decision. Breasts like these would be sizeable, but perhaps not out of place on your frame. But what I said before is still true...your own breast tissue is likely still growing from the hormones. So if you go this big, you might ultimately find yourself with breasts that are disproportionate for your size. You really would do well do go with a smaller size and let them grow in. Then, if you want to go bigger later, we can always—

Doctor. Listen. I know what I want. I understand what you're telling me, but this isn't a rash decision...I've done my homework and I've made up my mind. My only question for you is if you can do it, or do I look for another doctor who will?

I can, but I wish you'd reconsider...we're only concerned about your happiness.

Tristan, please...

Good! Then that's settled.

He reaches into his purse for another envelope, tossing more photos on the table. This time the photos of the women are mostly taken from the rear, showing off their ample rear ends.

Now...let's talk about buttock enhancements, shall we?

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

And Tristan gave no indication why he elected to get the more extreme enhancements?

No. I knew he was angry with me, and frustrated. I'd been pushing him to be more feminine and more ladylike to blend in. I can only assume he was doing this as a way of getting back at me. But I never in a million years thought he'd go ever through with it.

But he did.

Short MONTAGE of red carpet photos of Tristan showing off his new figure wearing a short clingy tube dress and stiletto heels, including:

• Tristan smiling with one hip thrust out and bending forward slightly to give the photographer a view of his large breasts and abundant cleavage.
• Another shot where he's turned and looking coyly over his shoulder, with the fabric of the dress stretched tightly across his ample posterior.

I don't know what I did, maybe I pushed him too hard...

It wasn't your fault, Barbara. It was the kid's decision.

So what happened after that?

Right after the surgery the kid took some time off to heal up. It was smack in the middle of shooting the GC season but it couldn't be helped since the plan was to shoot the movie after season six wrapped. So Tristan needed to get his boob job done before then. The GC producers gave us a little grief for taking time off for elective surgery, but once they found out the details, they cut him some slack. Just like the movie producers, they knew that some extra T and A would be good for them, too.

So, with these changes, was Tristan becoming more accepting of being a woman, then?

At first that's what we thought, but it sure didn't seem that way. We called Felicity to get a little "girl time" with Tristan and she took him shopping for some new bras and stuff. It's funny because we weren't able to get any film footage in the stores...apparently shopping in Hollywood you need a permit to film in there, which we didn't have. But the entertainment news still managed to pick up on it! It was nutty, since Tristan was incredibly self-conscious about his new boobs so he went to great lengths to avoid getting recognized—wearing a disguise, taking a different car—but they zeroed in on him anyway.

Short MONTAGE of a series of photographs taken from various entertainment news outlets not long after Tristan's breast enhancement surgery where Felicity is taking Tristan out shopping for bras at upscale Hollywood lingerie stores. There are a couple pictures of Tristan getting measured and Felicity teasingly holding up large-cup bras. Tristan manages a weak smile, but Felicity is clearly having more fun.

That's because I tipped them.

What?

After we got the phone call that our documentary film crew wouldn't be allowed in the stores, I realized that we might miss getting any footage at all of Tristan's little shopping trip. It was too noteworthy to let slip, so I made a few discreet calls to interested photographers.

You ambushed him?

Oh, don't be so melodramatic. Tristan always knew there was a chance of getting spotted by the paparazzi, and even though he was self-conscious about his new bosom it wasn't like he could hide his new figure indefinitely. But I knew that once the press realized the extraordinary steps he was taking to avoid being noticed, it would generate more notoriety than we ever could with a proper unveiling.

Wow, that's incredibly devious. I'm impressed, I didn't know you had that in you.

Yes, well, we do what we must.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTERTAINMENT TODAY STUDIO (ARCHIVED NEWS FOOTAGE)
Video footage of a TV broadcast featuring entertainment news. Two women are sitting at the anchor desk.

Transgender actress Tristan Sinclair has been the news recently for landing a leading role in "A Fairy's Tale" opposite her hot co-star Connor Covington, but she also made a splash on Rodeo Drive while shopping for lingerie today!

They grow up so fast, don't they?

Faster than you might think! Tristan shopped a few upscale boutiques with her gal pal Felicity Manchester and apparently was trying to disguise herself in a blonde wig. But there was no disguising the reason for her shopping trip!

VIDEO footage of Tristan and Felicity walking out from a boutique carrying a couple of bags. Felicity is casually dressed and wearing large sunglasses and has her hair pulled back, and Tristan is wearing a long blonde wig with sunglasses tucked into his hair. He's wearing his makeup much more dramatically, presumably part of his "disguise." However, the most notable things about his outfit are the silk blouse and fitted skirt that cling to his new figure and show off his larger breasts.

Whoa! Her cups runneth over!

There had been some speculation as to Tristan's whereabouts since she's been absent from the set of Galaxy Crusaders the last few weeks. I guess now we know what she's been up to!

It looks like she's up to at least a double D! I hope she found some comfortable new bras, she's gonna need 'em! Did she do this for Connor?

There was no comment from her people, but either way I'd say we'll be seeing a LOT more of these "exciting new developments" in the near future.

No doubt!

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND TRISTAN'S HOUSE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Max and Barbara are in the lounge reviewing something on the computer when Tristan and Felicity enter carrying a number of shopping bags from various expensive Hollywood boutiques. He's abandoned the blonde wig he was wearing earlier, having failed to elude the paparazzi.

Theeeeere she is, Miss Americaaaa!

Seriously, it wasn't that funny. And I told you it was a mistake for me to wear this outfit.

So it shows off your curves, big deal. You're the one who wanted to go all golden-girl blonde, you big hussy.

YOU'RE blonde.

Yes, but I wear it well.

So, you girls have fun shopping for lingerie?

Uncle Max, we've talked about this. Felicity knows about our little scheme, so cool it with the "girl" references.

Geez, you're sensitive. Okay, let me try that again: "So, did you guy and you girl have fun shopping for lingerie?" God, I can't even parse that sentence. What a jumble.

Yeah, live MY life.

Well, I never agreed to any such linguistic nonsense. So THERE, girlfriend!

And she's just cranky because she got mistaken at one boutique for a Miss Gay America contestant.

When are you going to let that go?

Um, NEVER? It's your own fault for wearing your makeup like that. I get that you didn't want to be recognized, but you went full-on pageant diva. But at least they changed their tune when you took off your blouse and showed off the goods.

You took off your blouse? In the middle of the store?

It was over near the changing area.

Well, I can see we need to have another chat about feminine modesty in public.

Trust me, she has nothing to be ashamed of. C'mon, Tristan, show them.

I don't think that's such a good idea.

Hey. You and I had a deal, sugar britches. Drop trou, they're gonna see this eventually anyway!

Tristan sighs and begins unbuttoning his blouse.

Tristan!

Um...maybe I should leave?

Oh, unclench, you two. We got her a new swimsuit, is all. Trust me, you've seen more on the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

Tristan unbuttons his blouse and then unzips his skirt which slips down to the floor. He steps over the skirt on his heels and then hands his blouse to a grinning Felicity, and we see that he's wearing a small black string bikini that leaves nothing to the imagination. Although Barbara and Max have seen hints of Tristan's girlish figure in various clingy dresses and outfits, they aren't prepared for this. Tristan's fleshy breasts form an impressive cleavage and are straining against the spaghetti straps of his bikini top. His slender waist flares out to wide hips and his expanded ass, leading down to long smooth legs perched on a racy pair of high heels. His bikini bottom is perfectly flat in front. Barbara and Max are both speechless, and Barbara grips Max's arm tightly.

Um...uh, wow.

Max nervously motions towards Tristan's crotch.

Uh, your...?

Oh, I'm, um, tucking.

Oh, sure. Right. That makes sense. Well, you look...good. Really good.

Thanks, Uncle Max.

Oh, come ON! She looks awesome! C'mon, Barbara, doesn't she look hot?

NO, HE DOESN'T!

Mother?

Barbara looks away crying, and holds onto Max.

I don't want to see! Put your clothes back on!

Tristan covers his chest with his hands self-consciously.

Mother, I'm sorry, I didn't—

Barbara, just settle down—

Now wait just a damn second.

Felicity, it's okay, just give me back my blouse—

No, it's NOT okay! Tristan, you put those hands down, you've done nothing to be ashamed of.

But—

DO IT!

Tristan, shocked, lowers his hands and stands there awkwardly.

Barbara, look at Tristan. Barbara, come on.

Barbara sniffles and turns around slowly, with Max still holding his arm around her. Barbara slowly lifts her tear-filled eyes to meet Tristan's gaze.

Mother...

Tristan, shh. Now Barbara, I know that may have been a surprise, but what you said was very hurtful. Isn't there something you want to say to Tristan?

I don't—

Max stops short when he gets a warning look from Felicity.

Barbara?

Oh, Tristan, I'm so sorry.

Tristan comes over and hugs her.

I didn't mean...I never thought...

I know. I know.

The pair embrace for a long moment and eventually begin to compose themselves. Barbara dries her tears, eyes Tristan's curvy figure, sniffles and gives him a weak little smile.

You do look..."hot."

Thanks.

He embraces Barbara again and looks over to Felicity and mouths "thank you" to her. She nods and smiles in response.

CUT TO:

INT. FELICITY'S OFFICE - DAY
Felicity is seated in her office as before, being interviewed.

Tell me about Tristan's friends.

Um...I'm not sure I understand the question?

The people he hung out with. What were they like?

Before the change, Tristan had some "party buddies," I guess. Pretty obnoxious types, I didn't see them much.

Even when the two of you were dating?

I...look, they were like stupid frat boys. Always looking to score...booze, sex, drugs, whatever. I knew better than to spend much time with them.

Was Tristan also like that, back then?

On his bad days. He had his moments, though. He could be charming and make me feel like I was the only girl in the world. Then the sun would set and these jerks would come out and suddenly I was just the latest piece of ass.

I understand they had trouble accepting Tristan after he came out as a woman.

That's an understatement!

How so?

Those guys were like animals, always thinking with their pricks, looking to score and one-up each other. And with a nice touch of homophobia, to boot. So along comes Tristan pretty as you please and voluntarily surrendering his male privilege. It was a meat market and suddenly he was a cow, strutting in and swinging his udders in their faces. Most of the guys just freaked, but some saw him as an interesting new thing to flirt with, use, and throw away. Fortunately, he was smart enough to keep them at arm's length. I guess he knew the type.

Because he used to be like that.

Yes.

What about the girls? How did they treat him?

Before the change, Tristan never really had female friends...he was more interested in conquests. The girls were usually vain and shallow.

And after?

He—she, I guess at this point—was unprepared for what girls could be like. The Hollywood rich-kids were the worst...catty, gossipy, backstabbing. You couldn't turn your backs on them for a second. At first they're all friendly, but that's just to figure out where to stick the knife to do the most damage. And those girls just LOVED seeing a guy having to put up with what they had to go through...they thought it was hilarious. To them, Tristan was like a kid brother who'd snuck into their closets and dolled himself up in their dresses and heels and was just pretending at being a girl. They'd dress her up and show her off to their friends like she was some new toy poodle.

But Tristan WAS just pretending, right?

Sure, but they didn't know that. That one time Tristan dressed up in drag as Wonder Woman for Halloween, it was all a big laugh because everyone was in on the joke. Now she was trying to be serious and they were still laughing.

It's like laughing at someone instead of laughing with them?

It was even worse than that. In that moment, I think Tristan finally realized something about that crowd I'd always tried to warn her about: they'd ALWAYS been laughing at her, even when she was a guy. She just couldn't see it until then. It wasn't just her, they did it to each other, too...always making snide little comments, but they were too superficial to care.

So what you're saying was that Tristan didn't really have any friends? No real social life? That seems shocking.

I wouldn't go that far. Certainly she had any number of events she'd attend, and she definitely got a bit of a reputation as a party girl, especially after her little display on her birthday made the news.

If that party crowd was so noxious, why do you think Tristan stuck around with them?

Partially, I think it's all she knew. But also I wasn't kidding before when I said you couldn't turn your back on those vipers. Hollywood is fickle and her gender swap had painted a target on her back. If she snubbed them there would be reprisals, and she couldn't afford that.

But they were going to gossip anyway, yes?

Of course! But they're more likely to do it behind your back than directly to your face.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, is that it?

Welcome to Hollywood.

CUT TO:

INT. HOLLYWOOD NIGHT CLUB (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - NIGHT
This is a trendy Hollywood night club filled with young beautiful people wearing the latest club fashions. It's a weeknight so the club isn't packed, but it's still busy and the music and lights fill the space. Tristan arrives wearing a clingy low-cut dress that's suitable for dancing and shows off his relatively recent breast implants. Sitting on a large sofa are three other "celebutantes," already partying and having a good time.

Hey, girls.

Hey, T! Look who it is! Ooh, and look who got herself some new ta-tas!

Jesus, Tristan! I swear, boys and their tits.

T-Girl! Check you out! It's "The Star Whore's Two: Attack of the Cones!"

Okay, you did NOT just come up with that.

Some guy online is holding a sci-fi captioning contest for your new boobs.

Tristan takes the phone and reads the screen.

"Star Skank Into Whoreness." "Big Knockers in the 25th Century." "D.D.: The Extra-Big Breast Appeal." "Boobylon Two." "Beggar's Canyon."

Pauses, a beat.

"Bustyslut Galactitty"?

That one's my favorite.

I don't get it.

Tristan returns the phone and sits down.

The implants are still sitting a little high, the doctor says they're settling in.

Sherrie grabs Tristan's breasts and gives them a squeeze.

Oh, these are nice! You're gonna be SUCH a hit with the boys.

Addison leans in to feel Tristan's breasts, as well. Tristan is embarrassed being felt up by two girls in front of everyone, but smiles sheepishly.

Ooh, yeah, these ARE nice. Who did these?

Dr. Rosen.

The same one that gave you the pretty girl face?

Tristan nods.

Val, seriously, you need to give these a squeeze.

I feel like I'm in the produce aisle?

T-Girl, with those melons, you ARE the produce aisle!

The two guys in the group return to the table, carrying drinks. The first guy, Nick, sets the drinks on the table and sees the girls feeling Tristan up.

Well, I see the entertainment has arrived! Hey, Tristan.

Hi, Nick.

Check it out, T-Girl got her knockers! Give 'em a grope, they're great.

Nick beckons Tristan to stand up.

C'mon, bring it in.

Tristan stands up and hugs Nick. Nick maintains the embrace a little tighter and longer than necessary and sways back and forth.

Ooh, yeah, those ARE nice!

Tristan breaks the embrace and swats him on the arm.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! Booty alert!

Yeah, that was definitely not there before.

The best money can buy.

Boobs AND butt? T-Girl, you should just go ahead and get your vagina.

They are pretty awesome. I enjoy mine greatly.

Ooh!

She excitedly snaps a picture of Tristan's butt and starts typing.

Now what?

Addison, grinning, hands Tristan her phone. Tristan reads from the screen.

"Tristan's new butt. That's no moon, that's a space station."

Tristan rolls his eyes.

I swear, you are such a dork.

Besides, with the new movie, I think I would have gone with "A Fairy's Tail."

Ooh, genius! Gimmie!

She grabs the phone back and starts typing.

I've no idea why I'm HELPING you people...

Because you're so awesome and such a good sport?

He kisses Tristan on the cheek.

Sure, let's go with that.

There we go! I said, "Tristan prefers 'A Fairy's Tail.'"

Oh, good, thanks. Because my big concern there was not getting author credit.

Ooh, somebody already responded to my picture! He says, "Because you can't spell Tristan without T and A."

The group laughs.

God, I heart the Internet.

Nick puts his arm around Tristan's waist and motions towards Alex.

Tristan, this is Alex. Alex, Tristan.

Nice to meet you.

Hey.

We all call her T-Girl.

They really don't.

Feel free to give Tristan's boobs a fondle, they're new.

Maybe later?

S'matter, Alex, you don't like tits?

Your friend prefer boys?

S'okay, T-Girl is equipped either way!

Tristan gives Sherrie a deadpan smirk. Alex moves in and kisses Sherrie and fondles her breasts with one hand while the others hoot and holler.

Okay, we'll call that a "no."

A waiter approaches the table.

Club soda, please.

A loud chorus of boos erupts from the table.

Guys, seriously, I have to work tomorrow!

Oh, poor missy has to work! Remind me again what her job is?

Our little princess has to dress like a fairy and make kissy faces at Connor Covington!

A loud "ooh" goes up from the table.

Yeah, hilarious. Besides, the movie hasn't started shooting yet, I still have to wrap the GC episodes.

So have you tried on your little outer space uniform since you went all boobs-and-booty glamazon?

Well...no.

Uh huh. Yeah, you're gonna be spending some time in wardrobe tomorrow, dearheart.

Garçon, the young lady will be joining us doing shots.

Tristan looks distressed.

I think T-Girl isn't drinking because she wants to see us get drunk and then use her camera boy here to record all our secrets.

We have secrets? I want to know secrets.

Oh, FINE.

Pauses, a beat.

But just one round.

Next you'll be saying that you won't be dancing, either.

Tristan crosses his arms under his bosom self-consciously.

I'm really still healing up, I'm supposed to take it easy...

The assembled group groans.

Well then, I guess it'll have to be nothing but slow dances for you.

Yeah, horizontal ones.

The girls bust out laughing.

Hey, Tristan, you like amusement parks?

Sure, I guess. Why?

'Cause I totally want to see the first time you ride a roller coaster with those!

Tristan smiles gamely as the group laughs. Soon they all quiet down for a bit and break into smaller conversations. Tristan is sitting next to Alex, suddenly aware that Alex has been staring at him.

See anything you like?

Oh, hey, sorry. I was just thinking, I've heard of you, right? You're on that TV show?

Yeah, that's me.

Wow, that's trippy. You were... But now you're....

He gestures vaguely at Tristan.

Yeah, it's pretty freaking awesome.

You know, if I didn't know, I'd have no idea.

I'm sorry?

You, I mean. I'd never have known you weren't... I mean, you look really good. Like this. So, y'know, great choice.

Tristan is speechless. But before he can respond, the shots arrive.

To tits!

They all drink.

Another round, my good man?

Please, no.

T-Girl just doesn't want a repeat of last time!

Last time?

Our delicate little flower had a little too much to drink on her birthday and she flashed her boobs to the crowd on the dance floor.

We were so proud.

I still think she should have lifted her skirt and gave the crowd a REAL show!

Give the people what they want! Cheers!

Well you got a lot more to flash this time! Get ready to give those bunnies some air!

First, I will pee. And then, I shall dance. You ladies care to join me on the dance floor?

The girls all stand up.

Hey, T, didn't you use to go out with Jodi Garrett when you were a guy? She broke up with you, didn't she?

Yeah...

Cool, I just saw her going into the girls' room. C'mon, let's go rub her face in your new tits.

Dibs on tweeting that!

The girls pull Tristan out of his chair and head towards the bathroom.

You don't think she meant that literally, do you?

Dude, with chicks who the hell knows.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

So, interacting with Tristan on the set of Galaxy Crusaders as you did, did you always remain suspicious of his motives?

Well, for a while. But after so many months, I was less sure. It seemed to go on awfully long if it was just a prank.

Plus, there were the breasts.

Wow, right? Did NOT see those coming.

Tristan comes back after being away for a couple episodes and he's STACKED. I think it had something to do with that movie thing. Anyway, after that, the show had all the fan service it could stand.

"Lieutenant Fairchild, you've contracted space herpes! Report to the decon chamber and strip down! Again."

"Space herpes"?

I forget what they called it.

PRODUCTION PHOTO of Tristan on the set as his character standing in a small room with a clear door and wearing nothing but a skimpy bra and panties. His breasts are noticeably larger than in earlier episodes, and he's showing a great deal of cleavage. Three male medical assistants are checking on his progress.

So you were starting to believe that Tristan might genuinely be transgender?

I don't know. Maybe? The whole thing seemed so far-fetched.

And I can't say he made much of a woman.

Why is that?

Kat shrugs dismissively and looks to Tina.

Tristan had a reputation. There were rumors that he'd been sleeping around, and on-set the way he'd let Jackson paw and grope him was pretty shameful. So when he came back showing off his, ah, voluptuous new figure, it pretty much confirmed everyone's suspicions.

Who did they say Tristan had been sleeping with?

I don't know, it was just a rumor. But as a guy he'd always been sleeping around, so...it made sense.

It just made my blood boil seeing him mincing around, playing at being a woman. It was insulting seeing him in those degrading little outfits.

Wait, are you referring to Tristan, or his character on the show?

Please. Tristan couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. Trust me, when you saw "Lieutenant Fairchild" vamp sexily for the camera or put an extra wiggle in her big butt, that was all Tristan. This was probably some sick fantasy of his. Just think: he finally found a bimbo that'd do anything he wanted, and she was never farther away than the nearest mirror.

Maybe.

Yes?

It's just...I don't know. On camera he was quite provocative, but off-camera...we just never saw him that much. At first I thought it was like before the change when he put himself on a pedestal and isolated himself, but later, I guess I just assumed he was shy.

Shy? We're talking about Tristan, right?

I dunno, as a girl he always seemed kind of nervous and timid to me. On camera he could be quite the vamp when he wanted, but those times I saw him off camera was another story. One time after he got his boob job I caught him massaging his breasts—nothing sexy, mind you, just kind of a perfunctory post-surgical thing, I would imagine—but he looked positively mortified. I swear when he saw me he almost burst out crying.

PLEASE tell me you don't actually feel sorry for that creep.

But what if we were wrong? We don't actually know that he'd been sleeping around. What if—

Tina, you know as well as I do what happened with Jackson. EVERYONE knows it. That's all the proof I need.

I suppose you're right.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

So once shooting wrapped on Galaxy Crusaders season six, the plan was to move over to shooting "A Fairy's Tale," isn't that right?

Yeah, that was the plan.

It was so thrilling, his first feature film as a lead!

Was Tristan also as excited?

He was looking forward to it, I'd say.

The poor dear was getting a bit frayed around the edges. I think when it all started he thought it would go on for maybe just a couple of months, and by this point it had gone on much longer. By this point he'd shot the entire sixth season as a young woman, and there was still the movie to consider.

And then there was some kind of delay with the movie?

Unfortunately. Filming had been delayed to accommodate Connor Covington's schedule on another movie he'd been directing.

His directorial debut! That one's got a load of talent, no question.

Yes, well, unfortunately Tristan didn't think so highly of it, considering it meant extending his time as a starlet even further. The new plan was to shoot the movie during the season 7 mid-season break the producers had arranged to allow Mr. Deerwood to shoot one of his raunchy comedies. That was good from a scheduling perspective, but it extended Tristan's timeline by months. The poor dear didn't take it well, I'm afraid.

Did he talk about backing out?

Every single day, it seemed like. But we needed the movie. The TV show hadn't really helped to showcase his range like we'd hoped...it mostly just showed that he looked good and had a nice rack. Of course later we'd get the good news about that one episode he filmed, but at this point it hadn't even aired yet.

So was this about the time he got into the merchandising?

Yes, sir! That was my idea. I started it cooking several months before, figuring the movie tie-in might work, but it turned out to be a good way to fill time waiting for it to start. We needed something to keep Tristan in the public eye and keep the teens interested. Tristan's status as a heartthrob with the girls took a pounding once he got his boob job, but marketing to them was an easy next step.

At first we tried looking into a line of clothing, but it became rather difficult. We found that to make it work Tristan had to have interest or at least feign interest in the designs in order to help sell them, but truthfully his heart was never in it. He did participate in a few fashion shows, but that was about it.

A MONTAGE of pictures of Tristan walking the runway in a few different fashion shows. The outfits he's wearing are mostly short and summery, ranging from casual to formal. One particularly eye-catching outfit has a pink ruffled bustier with a short and sheer flouncy pink skirt and silver stiletto heels, clearly designed to show off the wearer's breasts and legs. Tristan is doing a traditional model strut and his long hair is swept to one side. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere else, a numb and disaffected look on his face with his lips pressed into a disapproving pout...in other words, the perfect model's expression. Spectators along the runway are applauding.

So this is where the perfume line came in.

Exactly. It was easy for Tristan to talk up, and Barbara had the idea to market it to both girls and guys.

Yes, well, that was a little bit gimmicky of course, but we came up with a signature scent that was feminine enough to be a perfume but not so girly that it couldn't be considered a cologne, and then called it "Tristan: For Men and Women."

VIDEO from a short entertainment news blurb showing Tristan at the launch of his perfume. He's smiling and dressed in a glamorous blue gown with white edging, and his now-signature long hair with the extensions is swept into an updo. He's holding two boxes, both labeled "Tristan": one is the perfume showing him as a woman, and the other is a cologne with a picture of him as a man from before the change.

Wasn't that also when you brought in the double?

Right! That was...you know, I don't recall whose idea that was. But the kids went nuts for it. We brought in a celebrity lookalike who resembled the old male Tristan and put him side-by-side with the real thing.

The effect was really quite striking. I don't think anyone realized quite how much Tristan had changed until he was standing next to his "old self" like that.

VIDEO of a few short clips of Tristan and his male celebrity double at the event. The double is loose and friendly and seems slightly grabby with Tristan, putting his hand around Tristan's waist and holding him close. Tristan smiles and gamely plays along, but in quiet moments glances at his erstwhile lookalike with a faraway look. There are several photos taken with the pair posing together, including one with Tristan giving his lookalike a sisterly kiss on the cheek.

CUT TO:

A short excerpt from the event, where Tristan and his lookalike are being interviewed.

I have to say, you're a dead ringer for the old Tristan. Have you ever considered dressing like a woman to keep getting jobs as a Tristan impersonator?

Haha, no, no way! I'm not nearly that committed.

CUT TO:

Back to Max and Barbara being interviewed.

The sales were just okay, but it was enough to cover costs and pull in a little extra. But the gimmick was memorable and it got people talking.

And of course in the meantime we made sure he was popping up on magazines wherever he could.

Obviously the tabloid problems would came later, but was it an issue at this point?

God, no. The free publicity was gold. The paparazzi were all over Tristan after his boob job and were hounding him to see if he had plans for a sex change. And some just ASSUMED he had a sex change or was dating some actor or actress or other. Honestly the junk that the rags made up about him was just hilarious sometimes. And one thing I'll say about the kid, he had a quick wit and he loved the attention. He really knew how to poke fun at those rags without being cruel about it, like everyone was in on the joke. He was becoming quite the media darling.

PHOTO of Tristan posing at a news stand holding a tabloid that had recently come out. It had a large picture of him on the cover with the title, "TRISTAN'S PREGNANCY SCARE?" He's got the tabloid open pretending to read the article and affecting a hilariously over-the-top shocked expression for the camera.

I could have done without that photo spread in that men's publication, though. I thought that was in poor taste.

I thought you liked it when he showed his feminine side to the press?

His feminine PERSONA, yes. Showing his feminine PARTS like that was just...vulgar.

PHOTO MONTAGE of pictures of Tristan from an article in Maxim magazine. They're very sexy and show Tristan in skimpy swimsuits or lingerie and heels, provocatively draped over motorcycles and expensive sports cars with personal quotes like, "I've always been into fast cars. And guys like a girl who can drive a stick." There's also a bedroom shot with Tristan kneeling on a bed and naked apart from his high heels. He's looking at the camera with bedroom eyes with his long hair strategically draped down covering his breasts while the bed sheet covers his crotch. None of the photos are sexually explicit, but they're all very suggestive.

Well, say what you will, it was great publicity.

And of course we made sure he appeared in other mainstream publications, as well.

CUT TO:

INT. – LARGE PHOTO STUDIO (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) – DAY
The photo studio is a large set for a major fashion magazine and it is a buzz of activity. The set is elaborately decorated to resemble a little girl's bedroom with lots of pink everywhere and several toys and stuffed animals scattered about. A large pink dollhouse is prominently placed in front. At the center of the set sits Tristan, dressed like a caricature of a little girl in an elaborate pink party dress and petticoats, his now-signature long chestnut hair styled into two oversized ponytails secured with big bows. The outfit is somewhat sexualized as he is also wearing provocative makeup along with high heels, earrings, and long painted fingernails, and his womanly bosom is clearly tenting out the dress. He is unenthusiastically playing with the dolls while the photographer encourages him to try and get him into the spirit. He sees Felicity walk by, and he jumps up eagerly and hurries over to her.

Felicity! Over here!

Hmm?

Hi! It's, um...it's me.

Tristan? What on EARTH are you wearing?

Oh, um, this is for the photo spread they're doing to accompany an article about me. They thought that since I "missed out" on growing up as a girl it'd be fun to do a series of shots with me doing stuff like this.

I like it! Seriously, you look really adorable. I think we may have found a new look for you! Oh, and congrats on your pregnancy, by the way. I saw that in the tabloids. You look lovely, you're hardly showing at all.

Very funny. And keep your voice down, will you? I don't want to give them any more ideas. So, what are you doing here, anyway?

I'm having lunch with a friend. You gonna be here all day?

No, this afternoon we're doing one of the location shoots. They want to take pictures at a high school football game while I'm on the sidelines dressed as a cheerleader.

Dreams come true, huh?

Yeah. Hey, I wanted to ask you...do you want to go with me to that charity dinner on Friday?

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. Danny's taking me.

Oh. That's okay, then.

It's just that it's kind of a date thing, and it's not like you and I are—

Right, no. I get it.

Look, Tristan, you know I'm happy to hang out occasionally, but I think you really need to make some new friends.

Like a BOYfriend?

Hey, don't go dropping that on my doorstep. All of this is what YOU wanted, remember?

What, you think this is FUN for me? That I enjoy dressing up like a girl? You think this is like playtime for me?

Felicity doesn't respond, but her eyes cut down at his sissy pink dress and then over at the set with the elaborate Barbie dream house.

You know what I mean.

Look, Tristan, I don't particularly agree with why you're doing this little charade and if traipsing around like a pageant princess teaches you a little humility, I'd say it's long overdue. But...as a fellow actor, I appreciate how committed you are to your new...role.

I don't exactly have a lot of choice.

Tristan, you DO have a choice. You've ALWAYS had a choice. Your problem is that you always want everything to be easy. You can be a good actor, but acting takes work. A LOT of work. Maybe if you'd put as much commitment and effort into your acting as you're putting into this, you wouldn't HAVE to be dressing like a girl to prove how good an actor you are.

"Actress."

That's my girl. Look, if you want, I can ask Danny if he's got a friend that can take you to the thing on Friday?

No, but thanks. I can find someone myself. Mason Rutledge wanted to go with me to that movie premiere last week, maybe he's free.

Ooh, that's some prime beef arm candy, girl! You kids are gonna look great!

Oh, don't start. It's bad enough I have to shopping for yet another new dress to wear. How do you girls stand it?

Well, WE girls usually enjoy shopping, little miss. Maybe we can go out tomorrow and find you something sexy to wear for Mason.

She kisses him on the cheek and departs. Tristan walks back to the photo set, picks up a Barbie doll and plops down on the carpet sullenly. The camera flashes and he looks up, startled, not realizing they'd resumed the shoot.

Perfect! Oh, sweetie, you nailed it with that little pout. Girl, you are a natural!

MONTAGE of stills from the magazine photo shoot:

• First is Tristan as the little girl playing with her dolls, his pout and slumped shoulders the perfect image of a spoiled and pampered little princess playing with her toys.
• Next is Tristan dressed in a sexy but girlish outfit inspired by Alice In Wonderland, sitting at a tea party with a lot of chatty young girls.
• Next we see him in the boys' bathroom at school wearing a slutty schoolgirl outfit with heavy dark makeup, plaid microskirt and a white blouse knotted between his breasts, showing his bare midriff.
• Then we see him dressed as an overly made up cheerleader, waving his pom-poms enthusiastically on the sidelines of a high school football game as he shamelessly vamps at the football players while the other cheerleaders look on in disdain.
• The final picture of Tristan has him wearing a prom dress and tiara in the back seat of a car alongside a handsome male model in a tux, with Tristan coyly and flirtatiously smiling at his date, obviously making an invitation.
• The photo montage ends with a picture of the accompanying magazine article that bears the title, "Dreams Come True."

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

The tag line for Tristan's line of perfume, "Tristan for men and women." Obviously that's a play on the gender switch, but was that also a guarded reference to his romantic partners?

That was a VERY sore subject with Tristan. He obviously preferred girls, but we were leery of pushing that too much in the public eye. From the media's perspective, we thought it was better if he play it coy and flirtatious. Of course the problem was that the more we sent him out on celebrity junkets, fashion shows, or the like, it was increasingly odd to send him out unescorted.

At first, Felicity joined him at a few events, didn't she?

Felicity was a peach. She really helped sell the fact that she and Tristan were just girl friends without being "girlfriends." She'd hang out with Tristan sometimes or take him out shopping, but she wasn't romance material, especially given their prior history together.

Was Tristan even looking for romantic partners at this point?

It was difficult. Despite everything, Tristan still saw himself as a young man, although the changes to his body, the feminine affectations, the clothes and makeup obviously all belied that. And according to the doctors, the female hormones he was taking significantly curbed his male libido. There were a number of young ladies that Tristan went to events with and even a few he brought home, but they never seemed to last very long. Truthfully, I didn't pry.

I did.

Barbara looks at him, surprised.

What? The kid looked miserable, I was just being polite. He didn't go into details, but I got the impression that swapping lipstick with the girls just wasn't his thing. And he was still really self-conscious about his tits.

What about men?

We set him up a couple times with a young actor or something like that to go out to public outings and such. It was just good publicity, him being on the arm of some young guy. It surprised me, but some of them hung in much longer than the girls did. I think a kiss goodnight was about as hot and heavy as it ever got, but mostly I think Tristan enjoyed being able to hang around and talk to a guy, even if he was the girl. And the guys didn't mind since they got to hang around a hot starlet who could talk about guy things.

PHOTOS of Tristan in a summer dress hanging on the arm of a young man who is blond and preppy with short spiky hair.

But there was no mystery what Tristan was, yes? Everybody knew.

Yeah, tits make guys stupid, what can I say? Honestly, I don't think we cared too much what the kid did privately as long as it stayed private. Our concern was the public perception.

Speaking of public perception, about the time Galaxy Crusaders was set to pause for its Season 7 mid-season shooting break and before the movie started up, Tristan got some very good news, isn't that right?

The Emmy nomination! Well, of course we were absolutely over the moon when we heard. Poor Tristan had worked so hard but nobody was taking him seriously as an actor. Then to get such approbation...it was just overwhelming.

All the hard work was paying off, for sure. Between that and the movie deal, things were looking pretty sweet. It looked like we might actually pull this fool thing off!

So you still thought the original plan would work?

Of course! Between the show, the movie deal, and his off-screen appearances, Tristan had been getting wonderful coverage in the press, it was just taking longer than expected for us to capitalize on it. The idea had been to demonstrate that he wasn't just a one-trick pony, and now we had an Emmy nomination and a highly-anticipated movie with Oscar buzz going. We knew when he came clean there might be some backlash, but more press would only help us.

I could practically see the critics' reviews: "He was such a good actor that he even made an amazing actress." People would be lining up to see what he'd do next!

It's unusual for an actor in a show like Galaxy Crusaders to be nominated, but many have said that the content of that episode was very raw and powerful.

It was certainly an uncomfortable topic, but my Tristan did an amazing job. It was fertile ground to showcase his acting talent.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

Kat, I'd like to go back to something you said earlier. You mentioned that Tristan was given more of the stereotypically "girly" parts to play, as you put it.

Yep, that worked out well for everybody. He got the air time he wanted by showing off his boobs, and we got meatier stories.

I'm interested in the episode "Suffer the Little Children." That was the one where a malevolent entity controls both Tristan and Jackson's characters—Lieutenant Fairchild and Captain Mercer—and causes him forcibly rape her. After that, she goes through an accelerated pregnancy but ultimately loses the child.

See, that's a great example of what we were taking about earlier. The whole purpose of the woman in that story is first as a victim and then for her reproductive system. The only criteria for the female character in that story was having a vagina.

It's interesting you say that. We went digging through the archives and found an early draft of the story and discovered that it was originally written for Commander Lockhart—your character.

I didn't know that.

In fact, I have it on authority that when you found out you'd be doing those scenes with Jackson Deerwood, you said—I'm quoting, here—"Let the little he/she slut do it."

That's a lie, I never said that. You've been misinformed.

Still, when Tristan went on to get an Emmy nomination for his "uncanny" performance as a rape victim and survivor, that must have been a little galling, yes? Especially after you'd passed up such—as you put it—"girly" roles in the past to give to him?

Well, certainly we were happy for him—

So, what? You're suggesting he made a better woman than we did?

No, not at all. I'm just curious since you said that you still saw him as a man, but here he was receiving critical acclaim for portraying a woman in what you considered to be a stereotypically female role...a role you chose to pass up. How did you feel about that?

I don't think—

Kat, furious, says nothing, and stares daggers at Graham.

Okay, then.

CUT TO:

INT. FELICITY'S OFFICE - DAY
Felicity is seated in her office as before, being interviewed.

Oh, wow, the rape episode, yeah. I think that caught us all off guard.

You mean the seriousness of the content?

Well that, certainly. We'd done topical episodes before, but this was pretty graphic and intense. On paper, it looked to be just another ratings grab. But then throwing it to Jackson and Tristan, well...let's just say hopes weren't high.

Why is that?

I love Tristan like a sister, but quite frankly as actors neither of them had much of a range. And to be honest, Tristan's character was a playful diversion and interesting eye candy, but I never thought she could handle the heavy stuff. Boy, was I wrong.

The reviewers at the time said that the rape scene, as graphic and violent as it was, shed a light onto a very dark place, and in particular praised Tristan's depiction of a rape survivor, not just a two-dimensional rape victim.

It was incredibly powerful, and very edgy. I really have to commend the show for having the guts to go there, and Tristan for having the chops to pull it off. I don't know where that performance came from, but seeing her struggle and break down like that...you just felt like you were watching someone live though that horror.

VIDEO of a scene from the episode, where Lieutenant Fairchild and Captain Mercer are in the bedroom of the captain's quarters. Fairchild looks absolutely terrified as Mercer advances on her and strikes her violently. She fights back and struggles, crying as he overpowers her.

And then there was the pregnancy in that episode.

That was a bit of a surprise, too. At first I thought it was kind of hokey to go with the tired old sci-fi trope of a super-accelerated pregnancy, but seeing Tristan's character realize she was pregnant and then decide to keep the baby, that was just, "wow." As you know they had to extend it into a two-part episode to do it all—which was also a pretty risky choice—but again, it really worked.

VIDEO MONTAGE of few brief scenes from the show with a very pregnant Lieutenant Fairchild walking through the ship, getting examined in med bay, and self-consciously interacting with her crew mates.

How did you feel about the ending?

Oh, when she lost the baby? Oh, my God, that was just heart wrenching. Seeing Tristan deal with that pain and anguish...I swear, when she broke down and started crying, there wasn't a dry eye on the set that day. Again, I've no idea where she was pulling that performance from, but you could just feel the raw emotion of frustration and loss coming off of her. It's all right there on camera.

VIDEO of the scene in question. Tristan as Lieutenant Fairchild has just given birth to a baby girl, who has died in childbirth. As she cradles the small body, her face goes through a range of emotions. At first she seems wooden and detached, but eventually she breaks down, her whole body wracked with sobs, a young woman dealing with unimaginable pain and loss.

FADE TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

So, at the start of filming for Galaxy Crusaders season 7, Tristan had basically been living as a woman for over a year. Did you ever consider abandoning the plan, or was Tristan starting to adjust to his new lifestyle?

Neither. Tristan wanted to be done in the worst way, but he was also on the cusp of greatness. GC ratings were up, the Emmy nom was a nice feather in his cap, and the movie stood to boost his career even further.

So why not quit while he was ahead?

Because none of this meant anything unless we could demonstrate that this success was due to his acting talent. If he could show an Emmy win or a hit movie, that's something we could really capitalize on. But until then, he just had to hang in there a little longer.

The Emmy nomination came in not long before the mid-season shooting break for season 7, as I recall. Were there any changes on set as a result?

Oh, yes. Everyone was excited for Tristan—

Some more than others.

Well, yes. But it was good publicity for the show. And they started writing bigger parts for Tristan's character, too.

How did Tristan react to all the newfound publicity?

What do you mean?

You know damn well what he means.

He was under a lot of stress. I think what happened was blown well out of proportion.

It really wasn't.

Barbara starts to object, but Max cuts her off.

Barb, we couldn't keep it under wraps THEN, much less now. Tristan started to act out, making more and more demands. He'd gotten a taste of real celebrity and enjoyed lording it over people. By the time the movie started shooting, he'd gone full-tilt diva.

VIDEO of an short entertainment news blurb showcasing the kickoff of filming for "A Fairy's Tale" with Tristan and Connor holding hands and Connor giving Tristan a kiss on the cheek while they smile for the cameras.

MONTAGE of tabloid covers taken from a few weeks later, showing Tristan screaming on-set and featuring stories about the friction between the two stars. Most of the stories pin the bad behavior squarely on Tristan, calling him a demanding brat and noting his frequent tardiness on set. One prominent title reads, "FROM D-BAG TO DIVA?"

What was the problem?

Tristan had always hated playing second fiddle to Connor, and now that he'd gotten some recognition in the press it had really gone to his head. He wanted just as much recognition as Connor. Plus, he REALLY resented that Connor's busy schedule had delayed shooting for months, extending his time as an actress even further.

Which he couldn't admit publicly.

Exactly. But for all the talk about them as co-stars, everyone knew this was really Connor's vehicle...Tristan was along for the ride, just trying to milk it for some good publicity. That really rubbed Tristan the wrong way.

Well, I HARDLY think—

Max gives her a look.

Yes, you're right.

CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE SET (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
On the movie set for "A Fairy's Tale." Several people are bustling around, and there are actors and actresses in period costume. Off to the side sitting by himself, Max is quietly doing a crossword puzzle. Tristan, in period costume as Lorelei, sits down next to him, clearly agitated.

Hey, kid.

Hey.

Everything good?

Tristan strains to appear casual, failing miserably.

Oh, you know. Same old.

Pauses, a beat.

Say, Uncle Max. I have a question for you. Purely hypothetical.

Shoot.

Hypothetically, if I murdered someone, do you think they'd send me to a men's prison or a women's prison?

Someone famous?

Not as famous as he thinks he is, but sure. Hypothetically.

Well, in that hypothetical situation, I think it's extremely likely you'd be sent to a men's prison.

Yeah, I thought as much.

Pauses, a beat.

So, fair to say, looking the way I do, I'd probably have a rough time of it in a men's prison, yeah?

Fair to say.

Tristan nods slowly, contemplating this.

Hmm. So given the consequences, if I WERE to murder said individual, I would want to make sure it was really, really, REALLY worth it, wouldn't you say?

Speaking purely from a cost/benefit perspective, I would agree that you'd probably want to be extremely fervent in your convictions, yes. In this purely hypothetical situation.

Tristan smiles and nods, obviously having come to a decision.

Thanks, Uncle Max.

He pats Max on the leg, gets up, and leaves. Max casually returns to his crossword puzzle.

Yep, good chat.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

But obviously this animosity between Tristan and Connor didn't last?

Heh. That's one way of putting it.

The two of them—although yes, mostly Tristan—had been at odds since shooting started. When they finally settled their differences I don't think anyone expected what happened.

I sure didn't!

CUT TO:

INT. TRISTAN'S MOVIE SET TRAILER (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Tristan is in his trailer on the set for "A Fairy's Tale." As before, he's dressed in period costume as Lorelei and is clearly agitated. He's chewing out Jeanette, one of the production assistants.

This is TOTALLY unacceptable!

It's just an entertainment rag, it doesn't mean anything.

Sure, to YOU it doesn't mean anything, but my reputation is my LIFE! And I bet if Connor was being accused of "acting like a spoiled princess" on the set they'd find out whoever was spreading those rumors!

It's just talk...

And this, here! People on the set referring to me as "her majesty?" What's THAT about? Who's saying that?

People are just letting off steam—

Well, I want them FOUND, do you hear? A star shouldn't have to put up with—

There's a knock at the door.

Come in!

Connor enters the trailer. He's also in period costume as his character and is calm and confident with a pleasant smile.

Tristan, hi.

Hey, Jeanette. Do you mind if I get a word with Tristan alone?

She nods and quickly leaves, obviously relieved to get out of there.

I read your suggestions on today's pages and I talked to Neil. He thinks it's okay the way it is.

Naturally.

But, I told him a little extra backstory on Lorelei couldn't hurt. He said we could add a little more as part of the flashback sequence.

"A little."

Right, a little. Look, Tris, it can't be all about her—

Don't call me that.

Fine, Tristan. But it can't be all about Lorelei—

It's because I'm a woman, isn't it? They don't want me overshadowing their "leading man."

Tristan, be reasonable! Lorelei is an otherworldly creature. She's alluring BECAUSE she's mysterious. The more we try to explain her, the more mundane she seems.

So it's like the "feminine mystique."

Exactly.

'Cause I can't help but notice that my feminine mystique is netting me a third fewer lines compared to you.

Tristan, what's going on? You've been—COMPETING—ever since we started this thing!

Well, it's not much of a competition, is it?

It's not ANY kind of a competition! Seriously, what the HELL? I thought it would be fun to work with you again, but it feels like we're back on the set of Galaxy Crusaders fighting over Felicity's character!

Look, I know how much we've always hated each other—

I don't hate you. I've never hated you.

You... Wow. Huh. Well, this is awkward.

You hate me?

No!

Pauses, a beat.

Okay, a little. Yes.

Why?

Well, I don't know. You were just so successful and you made everything look so easy. And then there you were every day with your...hair.

You hated my hair?

Yeah! It was always so perfect, it was like you were mocking me with it.

My perfect hair was mocking you.

Hey! You. Don't go trying to pick a compliment out of my perfectly justified anger! Which only now when I say it out loud is starting to sound just a tiny bit petty.

Tristan, I wouldn't have fought to get you on this film if I didn't think—

You what?

You didn't know?

I guess I didn't...I mean, I never... Why me?

You're a good actress. You're a friend, you're a hot property right now...

You think my property is hot?

Your property is smoking hot and you KNOW it. But these—antics—aren't you. I KNOW you. I respect you for standing up for yourself, but you're better than this.

Connor, I'm not going to debate you—

Connor moves in suddenly and kisses Tristan passionately. Tristan resists a little at first but soon gives in.

Wow. You're a really great debater.

A beat, then Tristan pounces on Connor and kisses him back even more fervently.

Your rebuttal was most eloquent.

Thanks, it looks great in jeans, too.

They kiss again.

You're catching me at a very complicated time of my life.

They get more impassioned and Tristan breaks it off, suddenly aware of the documentary camera. Connor doesn't seem to mind. Tristan looks into the camera and makes a shooing motion.

Maybe it's time for you to get lunch or something?

CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE SET (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
On the bustling set of "A Fairy's Tale," just as before. Again we see Max, sitting off to the side, still working on his crossword puzzle. Tristan, still in period costume as Lorelei, sits down next to him again, this time looking a bit stunned and disoriented.

Hey, kid.

Hey.

Everything good?

Tristan stares off into space, looking mildly dazed.

Yep. Everything's peachy. No complaints here. Hunky dory.

Pauses, a beat.

Say, Uncle Max—

Another question?

Yes, please.

Shoot.

Conservatively, what would you say is the over/under on my continued "girl time?"

I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about that? That it only got your hopes up prematurely or was too depressing to consider?

No, no, you're right, of course. But, hey, I'm a big girl. Er, guy. Girl-guy. I can take it.

Well, things have been looking up lately.

Yes, they have.

The Emmy nom is a nice feather in your cap, and the movie will get you good publicity.

Tristan nods approvingly.

But the whole point of this scheme was to showcase your acting talent. Unfortunately, right now you're really only showing off your range as an actress. We need to figure out some way to translate that into something you can capitalize on as an actor.

That is a pickle.

Right. So, win or lose, it's still good optics for you to be at the Emmys. And since you'd be in the Best Supporting Actress category, it'd be kind of a slap in the face if you showed up there as a guy in a tux.

Right, the optics. Those are important.

And you at least have to finish shooting the movie or you could get sued for breach of contract.

Pfft, yeah, contractual obligations! No getting around those, am I right? What else?

Well, if you changed back before the movie premieres it'd probably come across like a romantic movie starring two guys. The producers might take a dim view of that. So figure it'd need to go through post-production...

And the press tour. Don't forget the press tour.

Um, right, and the press tour.

Which would be a lot of talking to the press, right? Me, Connor, me and Connor, chatting up the film?

Yes, that is how a press tour works.

Mmm. So...conservatively...?

Maybe...six more months? I'm sorry, kid. I know this is rough on you.

Tristan affects a serious face with a small pout.

It's okay, I'll manage. I'll figure out some way to get by.

Thanks, Uncle Max!

He kisses Max on the cheek and runs off as Max watches.

Yep, good chat.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTERTAINMENT TODAY STUDIO (ARCHIVED NEWS FOOTAGE)
Video footage of a TV broadcast featuring entertainment news. Two women are sitting at the anchor desk.

More news today from the set of "A Fairy's Tale" where co-stars Connor Covington and Tristan Sinclair are throwing sparks!

Weren't they already? Along with any other loose objects?

Yes, but these are the GOOD kind! Our sources say that the on-screen lovebirds may have some positive chemistry after all! The former Galaxy Crusaders co-stars have so far been very coy about the possibility of an off-screen romance, and the two report they are "just good friends." But apparently Tristan's diva behavior has mellowed, leading many to suspect that she's finding a more—ahem— PRODUCTIVE outlet for her energies!

Here's to frenemies with benefits!

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

So Tristan and Connor became romantic?

Well...

The two certainly became...close...but truthfully it was a marriage of convenience. Connor had a reputation for attaching himself to hot young starlets and he knew how to play to the press.

So it was all an act, put on for appearances?

That's right. It generated buzz for both of them as well raising interest in the picture. After all, people always talk about a romantic picture where the leads fall in love on the set, don't they? It was a bold move, though...Connor was playing with fire. A young rising star like him couldn't afford to come out and say he was sexually attracted to someone like Tristan or it might cost him future roles. He could play that way on the movie and tease people about the possibility off-set, but he was very shrewd to be so circumspect.

So he was just using Tristan.

They were using each other.

If you say so.

Max, please. Tristan was no ingenue. He knew what he was getting into.

Barbara, the boy was lost and vulnerable, cut off from almost everyone, and then along comes Connor adoringly. You don't think it's possible he might have gotten swept up? You saw how Tristan acted around Connor...I swear, he was almost like a schoolgirl.

If you felt that way, why didn't you say anything?

I don't know, I guess he just seemed so happy at the time.

And whatever reservations you had apparently didn't stop you from prostituting the young couple in front of the media, either.

That...that was my job.

And you did it very well.

CUT TO:

INT. SET OF THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN (ARCHIVED FOOTAGE)
Video footage of an episode of the "Late Show with David Letterman." Dave is sitting behind his desk, talking to Paul Shaffer, who's sitting with the band.

So Connor and Tristan are in the news...are you guys following this? They're a cute couple.

The audience applauds.

Or ARE they a couple?

Right, they're being kind of dodgy about that, aren't they? Friends, enemies...frenemies...

The crowd laughs.

Right, it's kind of "are they or aren't they." You know, "is he or isn't she."

Actually, I think you just described Tristan right there.

Rimshot, followed by laughter and "ooohs" from the audience.

No, no, no. Okay, settle down, I'm just kidding, folks. She's a real sweetheart. In fact, the entertainment rags have been having a bit of trouble keeping up with them, did you know that?

I was unaware.

It's true. And you KNOW it's serious when the media starts hanging cute nicknames on a couple.

Like "Bennifer."

Right, or "ScarJo."

Actually, I think that's just referring to Scarlett Johansson.

Really?

Yeah, just the one person.

Rats, I was really hoping she had a boyfriend whose name was "Scarface."

The audience laughs.

So what should we be calling Connor and Tristan? ConTri?

I like TrisCo better.

More laughter from the crowd.

Yeah, it's kind of a mess. Fortunately, though, we have a couple people here who can help sort it all out for us!

Connor and Tristan walk out in the stage, holding hands. Tristan theatrically pulls away from Connor and gives him a warning look while the crowd laughs. Tristan then dissolves into a smile and playfully and affectionately bumps his shoulder against Connor's. The audience cheers and applauds for the young couple. The "Top Ten" graphic goes up and follows along with the couple as they read.

"Top Ten rejected media nicknames for Connor and Tristan as a couple."

The crowd cheers.

Number Ten: "ConStantinople."

Number Nine: "TriCorner."

Number Eight: "CoStar Rica."

I like that one.

Connor nods.

Number Seven: "Texaco."

Number Six: "Tristed Sistor."

Okay, that's pretty great. Um, what are we up to? Oh. Number Five: "Kyrgyzstan."

Ouch, yeah, that's not so good. Number Four: "Con Artrist."

Number Three: "Trysting Couple."

Wow, that's a little on the nose. Number Two: "Cocoa Trispies."

And the number one rejected nickname for Connor and me as a couple:

Drumroll.

"Tri Days of the Condor!"

The audience laughs uproariously and the young couple waves to the crowd. Connor moves in for a kiss, but Tristan shoves him back and instead gives him a firm handshake before breaking into a big smile and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE SET (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
On the movie set for "A Fairy's Tale." The crew has just finished shooting a scene and is breaking for lunch. Tristan and Connor are there in period costume and are laughing and talking as they leave the set together. They're not openly making any public displays of affection, but Tristan is standing very close to Connor and touching his arm girlishly.

You LIAR!

Honestly, it never occurred to me.

Oh, come ON. When my character got turned into a girl on Galaxy Crusaders that first time, you NEVER thought about what would happen if our two characters hooked up with Felicity's character? That was ALL OVER the GC message boards at the time! Seriously, there's fan fiction.

I never pay attention to the fan sites. Especially when it involves a—what's the term?

Ménage à trois.

The pair stop short as they see that Jackson Deerwood is standing in front of them. He's casually dressed and has a garment bag slung over his shoulder.

Jackson! Wh—what are you doing here?

What, I need an excuse to drop by and see how my little moon queen is doing? Though from the looks of you, I might need to suggest to wardrobe that we work a bodice into your regular uniform back on the show. Very impressive.

He turns to Connor, holding out his hand.

Hey. Jackson Deerwood.

Of course. I've heard a lot about you.

It's all true. Hey, we got ourselves a little Galaxy Crusaders reunion going here, don't we? Too bad Felicity is missing this.

We were just about to get some lunch if you'd like to join us?

Oh, I'm sure Jackson has other plans.

I'm always up for a threesome. That is what you were just talking about, wasn't it?

Connor, why don't you run on ahead? I'll be right behind you.

Connor nods and gives Tristan's hand a supportive little squeeze before nodding to Jackson and excusing himself.

Well, he's pretty enough, though I'd have thought you'd have gone for something with a little more meat on the bones.

He's...plenty "meaty!"

Hey, don't get your corset in a twist. I just offered for him to be the other slice of bread in a manwich, my succulent little hamburger patty. That is seriously high praise. Usually it's me and two chicks.

Tristan nervously glances at the camera, acutely aware that this conversation is being filmed.

What do you want, Jackson?

Boy, you're all business today, aren't you? No love for your captain?

Tristan shifts nervously.

Ahh, don't worry, little moon queen, I'm just messing with you. I just wanted to see if you needed a date to the Emmys.

Connor's taking me.

Well aren't you the belle of the ball! Still, I couldn't let the occasion pass unmarked.

Jackson hands Tristan the garment bag, who looks at it suspiciously and unzips it. We can't see what's inside, but Tristan looks appalled.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

CUT TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed.

So unfortunately Tristan didn't win the Emmy.

Yeah, we always knew that was a long shot. Though the title "Emmy nominated" was still a great takeaway. I figured we could dine out on that for a good while.

But there WAS a bit of controversy that night, wasn't there?

That was...unfortunate. We tried—desperately—to get Tristan to reconsider, but he seemed bound and determined to make a mockery of the whole evening. Tristan was...

She looks to Max.

Tristan.

CUT TO:

INT. FOYER IN TRISTAN'S HOME (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
It's the day of the Emmy awards and Barbara and Max are in the foyer in the small mansion where Tristan and Barbara both live. Connor has just arrived in a very stylish and trendy suit. Barbara and Max are both visibly disconcerted as Connor enters.

Where is she?

She's upstairs. She—

Connor!

Tristan enters from upstairs. His hair and makeup are done up for a celebrity event and he's wearing a floor length metallic gold lame dress that's cut incredibly high up the thigh. It's very snug and is cut low across the bodice, pressing his breasts into a significant cleavage and causing his bosom to almost spill out of the dress. It's a designer dress, but the overall effect is incredibly cheap and tacky, especially when combined with the platform heels he's wearing.

Tristan descends down the staircase and stumbles at the end.

Oops!

Connor catches Tristan in his arms.

Mmm...my hero. Oh! Oh! Did I tell you I thought of another name for us as a couple? Con-Tra-ceptive! Whaddaya think?

Tristan, have you been drinking?

Well, I'm sure as shit not gonna do this SOBER!

Tristan, please. I wish you'd reconsider that dress. The one we picked out was much more—

Hey! THIS is my BIG night! And I am a big girl! And I am going to show off my big girls!

He pokes at his bosom and laughs at his own joke.

You look like a stripper.

Uncle Max, do you think I look like a stripper?

Um...

There, you see?

You're not even wearing a brassiere!

No, no, no. It's great, you see? See, I'm being honored for being a supporting actress, right? But I'm going as an actress that doesn't have any support at all! It's like a metaphor. God, I should totally drink more often, I am on fire!

He turns to look at the camera.

Tell me you're getting all this!

Is she all right?

Why does EVERYBODY keep asking that? It's not like YOU'RE up for Best Supporting Actress!

Pauses, a beat.

Holy cow, you AREN'T, are you? 'Cause that would be OUTSTANDING. I would totally vote for you!

Tristan, you need to listen—

Oh, hey! You wanna hear my acceptance speech? It. Is. A. DOOZY!

Maybe that isn't such a good—

"I'd like to thank the Academy for this award, and to the republic for which it stands...one nation, under my boobs..."

He giggles and leans against Connor's chest.

Oh, my God.

We—we have to go. We're already late. I'll try and do...something...

Late is good. That'll give you an excuse to avoid any interviews.

You're not seriously suggesting she go like THIS?

We are suggesting that! Seriously!

See how good I'm doing in my heels? I've been practicing.

Connor looks helplessly to Barbara and Max and leads Tristan out.

This is a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.

I dunno, look on the bright side.

Which is?

Max pauses to think. After a moment he opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it again.

That's what I thought.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTERTAINMENT TODAY STUDIO (ARCHIVED NEWS FOOTAGE)
Video footage of a TV broadcast featuring entertainment news. Two women are sitting at the anchor desk.

Of course, the night's big fashion "don't" came courtesy of Emmy nominee Tristan Sinclair, who was escorted by her "Fairy's Tale" co-star and—

She winks and makes air quotes.

—quote-unquote "good friend," Connor Covington.

VIDEO of entertainment footage of Tristan and Connor walking down the red carpet. Connor is smiling and reserved, but Tristan is in rare form, playing to the cameras, laughing and smiling. It's not immediately obvious that he's been drinking, but he's definitely much more provocative, posing to show off his enhanced cleavage in his tight gold dress.

Someone should have told her that dressing like the statuette doesn't actually increase her chances of winning!

She was definitely the talk on our real-time social media coverage! User name 'CuddleJumper' says, "Tristan may be a long shot at the Emmys, but it looks like she's already showing off her golden globes!"

Yeah, and it sounds like not everyone was enthused with her performance tonight!

CUT TO:

A woman at the event being interviewed.

I think it's disgraceful! It's bad enough they're letting someone like—THAT—compete for Best Supporting Actress, but then to show up and make a mockery of the event like that is just awful.

CUT TO:

Back to Olivia and Rachel back in the studio.

However, some of Tristan's behavior and comments during the show have led some to believe that this may have been an elaborate prank on Tristan's part. As user 'GalaxyGal2161' puts it, "C'mon, it's clearly a joke! She's obviously making a commentary on the awards and how women are expected to look!"

Seems kinda far-fetched to me.

You be the judge!

CUT TO:

Tristan and Connor being interviewed on the red carpet before the show.

So this is a different look for you! Who are you wearing?

Heck if I know. I'm just showin' off the girls. I'm all about the fan service.

Oh! Well, okay.

For real, let's just call it what it is, right? And really? This is all just like a big metaphor, anyway. Like, here I am being nominated as a Best Supporting Actress, but I'm not even wearing a—

Tristan, we really need to get inside. Excuse us.

He wraps his arm around Tristan's waist and moves away from the cameras.

CUT TO:

More footage from during the awards ceremony. Sitting in the audience, Tristan seems bored and at one point is snuggled up against Connor, seemingly on the verge of falling asleep. Later, when the Best Supporting Actress category comes up, he seems largely disinterested. As the winner is announced, there's a split screen showing all the reactions of the other nominees. While the other losers all smile and clap politely, Tristan looks right at the camera and snaps his fingers in a big "shucks" gesture before saying something inaudible to Connor and laughing.

CUT TO:

Back to Olivia and Rachel back in the studio.

Huh.

Right? Some are calling her gutsy and avant-garde for mocking the shallowness and manufactured pageantry of the awards scene.

So what do you folks at home think? Tristan Sinclair, skank or satirist? Sound off and let us know!

CUT TO:

EXT. "A FAIRY'S TALE" MEADOW SCENE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Tristan is dressed in period costume as Lorelei in an elaborate flowing dress and is seated on a log in the middle of a beautiful meadow. They're setting up to shoot the scene that will be the big romantic centerpiece of the movie and Tristan looks a little preoccupied. The director of the movie, Neil Romano, is talking to the camera crew as Connor walks up to Tristan. Connor is dressed in period costume as his character.

Hey, beautiful.

Hey.

How are you doing?

Good. I'm good. But I'm still not sure if I should play the scene starting off a little more aloof, or—

There's no reason to be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

Pauses, a beat.

Much.

Well, you look incredible.

Considering what I looked like the last time you saw me, that's not saying much.

Is that what this is about? Look, Tristan, the Emmys were just...theatre. Don't let it get to you. You know this town, it'll be forgotten in a week. And if it isn't, you can just adopt a dozen baby chinchillas.

What would that do?

I don't know.

I feel it my duty to warn you that your attempts to cheer me up will end in failure.

Fair enough.

Look. I've made some bad choices lately. Like REALLY bad. Seriously, choosing to become a chinchilla farmer would represent a marked improvement in my decision making.

The dress wasn't THAT bad.

Tristan looks him straight in the eyes and gives his hand a squeeze.

Yes, it was, you lying liar.

Connor shrugs noncommittally.

But I really do appreciate everything you've done. I don't know how to repay you.

Tris, I helped shepherd you through some nosy reporters. I hardly think that constitutes a Wookiee life debt.

Okay, first, I think it's awesome that you made that reference. Kudos to you, sir.

Connor nods graciously.

But it's not just that. You've done so much for me. You got me this part, you've been patient with my tantrums, you've really been there for me the last several weeks. You've been so awesome and I've been such a... Um...

Brat? Witch? Pain in the ass? Shrew?

Gonna go with "brat."

Connor nods.

It's just...I've done some things lately that I'm really not proud of. Things that make me feel ashamed of myself, like I'm not the person I want to be.

If this is about us...

No! I mean, yes, it sort of is, but...Connor, you're the one good thing that's happened to me lately. And I'd really like to not screw that up, and I swear I'm trying to avoid doing that. I'm just worried about what might happen.

Tris, you know I care about you. And you don't have to prove yourself. Not to me, not to anybody. Whatever it is, we'll deal with it. Come what may.

They kiss. As they do, Neil, the director, approaches from over by the cameras.

Okay, we're all set and I don't want to lose the light. You two heartbreakers ready to take the plunge?

Yeah.

CUT TO:

INT. KAT AND TINA'S HOME - DAY
Kat and Tina are in their home as before, being interviewed.

So after Tristan finished his work on the film and returned to the Galaxy Crusaders set, were things any different?

Maybe a little. Tristan did seem to have mellowed some.

Oh, PLEASE. He hadn't changed at all. I mean, all of that nonsense about his misbehavior at the Emmys being some kind of a feminist statement? Ridiculous. But all his shenanigans got him media attention, which he parlayed into a bigger role on the show.

So you felt his notoriety was undeserved?

Of course. It was all based on a lie.

The only good thing was that we didn't have to wait very long for him to get caught in a scandal he couldn't sleaze his way out of.

CUT TO:

INT. GALAXY CRUADERS SOUND STAGE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
It's relatively early on the Galaxy Crusaders set and there's a buzz of activity as the crew is getting set up and people are getting into costume. Tristan is just arriving on the sound stage in normal street clothes to get into makeup and wardrobe. There's a strange energy on the set when he arrives, with people looking at him and whispering. Tristan spots Felicity, who hurries towards him.

Hey, how's it going?

Tristan, what are you doing here?

I'm on the call sheet today. I'm in the conference room scene—

I mean, shouldn't you be out dealing with all this?

Yeah, what's with everybody today? Did someone die or something?

You mean you haven't heard?

My phone died last night. Why, what's going on?

Felicity pulls him over to the side and shows him something on her phone. Tristan looks confused at first, then embarrassed, and goes deathly pale with shock. He steps back from Felicity and looks up to see that conversations have stopped and all eyes are on him. People are whispering. Tristan looks at Felicity helplessly before running back outside.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO (ARCHIVED NEWS FOOTAGE)
Video footage of a series of entertainment newscasts featuring breaking news about Tristan and Jackson.

Scandal broke on the set of Galaxy Crusaders today when a sex tape was released that featured lead actor Jackson Deerwood with his transgender co-star Tristan Sinclair. Neither star was available for comment, but the video, which was posted anonymously—

CUT TO:

Coverage from another entertainment show.

—shockingly explicit video of Jackson and Tristan that should conclusively end any debate that the transgender actress is most definitely "pre op!"

And VERY flexible! That was some seriously "hot yoga!"

Here's a little taste of the video before things get too hot and heavy for TV!

CUT TO:

A VIDEO clip from the sex tape. Tristan and Jackson are in a nondescript hotel room kissing each other while Jackson roughly gropes Tristan's curves. Jackson is shirtless but dressed in normal slacks, but Tristan is wearing a very skimpy costume that looks like a slutty version of his Galaxy Crusaders uniform. The costume is showing a scandalous amount of tits and ass and he looks like a hooker with heavy makeup, teased hair, and thigh-high boots with skyscraper heels.

Say it.

Ooh, bone me up, Captain!

CUT TO:

Back to Olivia and Rachel in the studio.

Oh, yeah, THAT'S gonna be a popular new hashtag.

And if you want to see more, check out our web site for the link to the full video that's making the rounds. Adults only, obviously!

And not for the faint hearted!

CUT TO:

A different news broadcast.

—absolutely PERVERTED! This disgusting display is yet another example of Hollywood's corrupt influence—

I disagree! What consenting adults do behind closed doors—

But those doors are WIDE OPEN now, aren't they? And what kind of message is this sending to our CHILDREN who—

CUT TO:

A different news broadcast.

—got a quick "no comment" from Jackson's people, but still no word from Tristan's camp on this scandal. And as yet nobody has stepped forward yet to take credit for releasing this video—which has already gotten millions of hits—but speculation is—

CUT TO:

INT. MAX'S OFFICE (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
We're back in Max's office, and as the first time we saw it, it's modestly decorated and slightly cluttered with autographed pictures of various B- and C-list celebrities hanging on the walls. A large poster of the Galaxy Crusaders TV show that features Tristan's character is prominently displayed. The camera is following Tristan in as he bursts into the office from the reception area. Max's receptionist is also following him inside. The lights are off and the office is empty, and the only light is what's streaming in through the windows.

Uncle Max!

I told you, he's not here!

Well, where the hell IS he? Call him on his cell, this is an emergency!

I—I don't think—

DO IT!

The receptionist hurries out of the office to her desk. Tristan goes to the phone on the desk and dials an outside line. We can hear the call on the speakerphone.

Hello?

Connor! It's me. I tried to call you earlier but my phone is busted and then I kept getting your voice mail and—

Tristan...

Connor, wait! Please, just wait. I swear that thing with Jackson...it wasn't what it looked like. I swear, I would never—!

Tris, just calm down.

I'm calm!

Just RELAX. Sit down and take a breath.

I'm sitting!

Pauses, a beat.

Okay, fine.

Tristan sits down in the desk chair.

Connor, I can't find Max or my mother. I'm at his office but there's nobody here. Please, I—I need to see you. I think I'm losing it.

There's a long pause with nothing but silence on the phone.

Connor?

I don't think that would be a good idea.

What?

Look, Tris, I can't afford to get tangled up in...whatever you've got going on. It wouldn't be good for either of us.

You mean it wouldn't be good for YOU.

You're obviously under a lot of stress right now—

What happened to, "We'll deal with it together, come what may?" Well, "may" has COME, Connor! I'm up to my ass in "may!"

Look, Tristan, you're a big girl. This has been a fun little diversion, but let's not make it into more than it was.

A "diversion?" Is that all I was to you?

Tristan, I'm sorry for your problems, but they're YOUR problems. And yes, it was fun, but honestly, how did you THINK that you and I were going to end up? Did you honestly think I could be with someone like you? You were a...novelty.

I...I...

There's a long pause as Tristan sits stunned. Eventually he sits up straight in the chair.

Goodbye, Connor.

Tri—

Tristan hangs up the phone. He sits for a moment on the verge of tears before he notices something on the wall and stands up to look at it in disbelief. The receptionist enters again.

Tristan, I'm really sorry, but I can't get a hold of him. I've left him messages, but I promise that the moment I hear from him, I'll have him—

She pauses, noticing how preoccupied Tristan is.

Are you okay?

Tristan ignores her and takes another step closer to the wall. The camera turns to follow his gaze and we can see that one of the pictures on the wall is missing.

The Rat Pack.

I'm sorry?

The Rat Pack. It's gone. He'd never leave it.

The rest of the pictures on the wall of Max posing with various celebrities are still on the wall, untouched. The largest item is the big Galaxy Crusaders poster that prominently features Tristan, which is from two seasons earlier and still shows him as a man. Tristan stares at the old photo of himself for a long moment before rushing out the door.

CUT TO:

INT. TRISTAN'S HOME (MOCKUMENTARY FOOTAGE) - DAY
Tristan hurries into the foyer in the small mansion where he and Barbara both live. The house is dark and quiet. Tristan bursts inside.

MOTHER! MAX!

He checks in the study and looks around downstairs briefly.

Mother! Are you home?

He runs upstairs, hurrying past his suite and the guest bedrooms down to his mother's bedroom.

Mother? Mo—!

Tristan stops short at the entrance to her bedroom. As the camera follows, we can see that it's a mess, obviously uncharacteristic for someone as meticulous as Barbara. Most of the closets are and drawers are open, and clothes have been dropped and strewn around, indicating that she had packed and left in a hurry.

No. No...

Tristan holds his hand to his chest, having trouble breathing. He stumbles to the edge of the bed and tries to sit down and misses the edge, collapsing in a heap on the floor and leaning against the side of the bed. He starts to break down crying and as he turns away, his face touches one of his mother's gowns hanging over the edge of the bed. He holds the dress to his cheek as he sobs before dropping his hands and crying.

Turn it off. Just...turn it off. Please, turn it off...

FADE TO BLACK

FADE TO:

A MONTAGE of entertainment newscasts featuring breaking news about Tristan and the scandal.

...with more troubles today for Tristan Sinclair as it was revealed that her stepmother and agent have left the country, leaving the besieged actress alone to face the continuing scandal...

...with allegations that they emptied the joint bank accounts prior to their departure, leaving Tristan in dire financial straits...

...news worsened for actress Tristan Sinclair today. In the wake of her now-infamous sex tape scandal, the producers of the Galaxy Crusaders today announced that Tristan will no longer be with the show, saying, quote, "We're very grateful to Tristan for her long years on the show and we wish her well." They referred to Jackson Deerwood's recent absence as a "brief leave of absence for personal reasons," noting that he would return in time to film the last few episodes of the season, which they claimed would again redefine...

...increasingly public figure following her sex scandal and legal battles, Tristan has since disappeared from the public eye, causing some to question whether the troubled young actress may have taken her own life...

FADE TO:

INT. BARBARA AND MAX'S HOME - DAY
Barbara and Max are seated in their living room as before, being interviewed. They're just sitting there, speechless and unable to find words. The camera pans briefly over Max's shoulder and we can see hanging on the wall is the photo of both Max and Tristan's father as young men, posing with the Rat Pack.

Well, there's really nothing to say, is there?

Max holds her hand.

You don't have to do this.

There's really nothing to say.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Nothing we did was illegal. Nothing. Those were joint accounts—

Max.

Barbara, I'm just trying to—

This isn't about legal culpability. God knows that I sacrificed a lot to cultivate Tristan's career after his father passed away. We both did. We only ever wanted what was best for him. And yes, we shared in the financial benefits that came from those efforts. But what we did...I'm not proud of it. I think about it every day. He needed us—needed ME—and instead I chose my own comfort and safety.

Nobody's happy with how that turned out.

Do you regret what happened?

It was a tough situation! That harebrained sex-swap thing was a Hail Mary play, but we stood there with the kid through it all. But when he started making doe eyes at Connor, I got nervous. And then after he went and torpedoed everything with that business with Deerwood? I knew it was time to man the lifeboats.

It was...it was very unfortunate.

What happened to Tristan after you left?

I don't...

She hesitates and looks to Max.

We never really heard. We followed the implosion on the news and tabloid rags and of course we heard from his lawyers, but after he got fired from the show and the dust settled, it was like he just fell off the face of the earth. We never heard anything after that. Even the lawyers stopped calling.

If you could still say something to Tristan now, what would you say?

Look, I'm a lifetime graduate of The School of Hard Knocks, and I never had anything given to me that I didn't earn. And I loved that boy like he was my own, but he threw away one opportunity after another and expected that the world would keep on treating him like a little prince. Now, am I sorry for how things turned out? Sure. Who wouldn't be? But Tristan knew the importance of looking out for number one, and when the chips were down I knew that's who he was going to take care of first. I just took care of what was most important to me.

He looks to Barbara and holds her hand.

Anything to add?

I would just hope that—that perhaps— I—

She looks away.

No. Nothing.

FADE TO:

EXT. THE CRUSADERCON CONVENTION - DAY
We're back outside the convention center where CrusaderCon is in full swing. Fans, many of them in costume, are milling about. Graham is standing in front of the convention center, speaking directly to the camera.

After his fall from grace, Tristan fell into obscurity. Even his closest friends lost track of him, and many feared the worst had befallen the young actor. Eventually even the tabloids lost interest. There were rumors of random sightings from time to time until just a few years ago, when a minor player in a local production of a Jack the Ripper play caught the attention of the local press.

Photo of a playbill from the production, zooming in on the credit, "Tristan Sinclair as Mary Kelly."

Starting over from those humble roots, Tristan's acting career has again grown, with a string of minor supporting roles, advertisements, and parts befitting a character actor. Though lacking the former trappings of celebrity, Tristan has once again begun to quietly re-enter the public consciousness.

MONTAGE of photos and production stills of Tristan in various minor roles in theatre and film:

• Mary Kelly in a scene from the Jack the Ripper theatrical production
• Satine, singing in an elaborate dress in a Moulin Rouge production
• In an uncredited magazine advertisement for a feminine hair care product
• Dressed as French Maid on the set of a television pilot, smiling and talking to a bemused sitcom family

Graham walks along the street in front of the CrusaderCon displays outside the con.

Today, as CrusaderCon marks the 15th anniversary of the show that started it all, fans are celebrating another very special event: the first reunion of the entire cast in almost a decade.

Graham pauses next to a poster advertising a "meet the cast" event at the convention, which for the first time in many years will include both Tristan and Connor.

We see VIDEO of Tristan taken inside the convention that same day, still living as a woman. He's casually dressed in jeans and a snug Galaxy Crusaders T-shirt that has a picture of his character dressed as Cinderella with the caption "Self-Rescuing Princess." He's signing autographs and playfully taking pictures with delighted fans, several of whom are dressed as his character from the show.

We were very lucky to have a chance to catch up with Tristan before the big panel discussion.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERVIEW AREA AT CRUSADERCON - DAY
Graham and Tristan are seated an interview area at CrusaderCon that overlooks the bustling convention, seen in the background.

Thank you for meeting with me. After researching your story and talking to those involved, I can imagine how difficult all of this must have been for you.

You really can't.

I suppose that's true. I guess I'd like to start with the elephant in the room. When exactly did Jackson figure out that you were perpetrating a hoax?

How did you—?

It seemed fairly obvious. He clearly had something on you that was keeping you on the show.

No, no, you have it all backwards. It's true that Jackson figured out my secret almost right away. As he put it in that crude way he had, "You can't shit a shitter." He knew desperation and he knew drag queens...that much of his reputation was true. He saw through me like glass.

So it was blackmail, then?

Yes.

On its face, it seems like a ridiculous threat. He was going to tell the world something you were ultimately planning to announce anyway.

Yes, but it was all a matter of timing. If we popped the news too soon it didn't say anything about my acting ability, which was kind of the whole point of the escapade. I was getting plenty of press, but none of it had translated into new work. If Jackson spilled the beans, I'd have gone through all that for nothing. It was an epic hoax, but nobody would hire me based just on that.

So what did Jackson demand in return?

At first, nothing. He thought it was funny to see me running around pretending to be a girl. Back then everyone thought I was transgender—which I never really confirmed or denied—so I got some snide comments or disapproving stares. But when Jackson looked at me, you could tell he was laughing at me. A straight guy trying to convince the world he was a transgender woman? He thought that was hilarious.

Did it have any effect on your "persona?"

That man was a pig, but he was a master manipulator. Every so often there would be a little hint leaked to the press that I wasn't all I seemed. To quash the rumors I'd end up having to do something to prove my commitment. The magazine photo shoot, going on dates with guys, even that little striptease number in the show. It was awful. Though the boob job pretty much shut them up. I guess it was good for that, at least.

And he told you he'd done this?

No, that was never his style. He just smirked and I could tell.

Obviously, it went further than just that.

I guess I should just own it, shouldn't I? After the sex tape was released, it was pretty obvious that he and I had sexual encounters.

Consensual?

Jesus, no. Not that I could ever prove it. Being touched by that man made my skin crawl. By the time I was giving him private lap dances to "rehearse" that one scene, it was pretty clear he had me under his thumb. In private he'd laugh as I went down on him and asked how much I liked feeling my big boobs jiggle. That was his little contribution too, you know.

You mean the breast enhancement? I thought that was a stipulation in the movie contract?

It was, but not the SIZE. The contract required that I get C cups, which frankly wasn't that big a step up from where the hormones had taken me...I could work miracles with a push-up bra. But once Jackson caught wind of that, he told me he wanted to see me with a nice big set of double-D cups jiggling around the set or he'd tell the press about me, our extracurricular activities, everything. I begged and I pleaded, but...well, you can see how things turned out.

Was that also why you got the buttock enhancement surgery?

That's right.

Did your stepmother or your agent know about this?

I wanted to tell them, I really did. I was just so ashamed. You see, this whole thing just kept sliding out of control. When all this started, I thought this masquerade would last just a few weeks, maybe a month or two. Then it was "just get through sweeps week." Then there was the movie deal, and the Emmy nom...success was always just over the horizon. I was like a compulsive gambler waiting for the big payoff that I was CERTAIN was coming my way. So by the time the implants came along, I knew—I just KNEW—that it wouldn't be much longer. So that's how I found myself in the plastic surgeon's office with my mother sitting beside me, practically begging the doctor for bigger tits, and my mother saying, "You don't have to do this to yourself." That was a low point.

I'm curious about something you said. The episode you were nominated for—the one with the rape scene—

I wasn't acting.

You don't mean—

No, that wasn't an actual rape on camera, but let's just say that I'd rehearsed that little dance with Jackson before. When it came time to film, I just went with it and threw my emotions into it. It was almost cathartic, in a way.

And the scene at the end, after your character loses her baby—

What you were seeing there was just months of pent-up frustration and anger and sadness and loss. I knew I'd have to cry in that scene, but when it started I just dug deep into my own well of pain and emotion and it all came out. I just used it.

Some might call that "acting."

You're too kind.

So, after the tape was released, you really went off the radar. What happened?

My life was in shambles. I'd lost everything, I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world. My mother and Max had emptied my bank accounts and left the country. The house was mortgaged to the hilt. Galaxy Crusaders even fired me because of the sex tape scandal, citing the morality clause of my contract. I thought that was particularly rich considering they had no problem with making me prance around in skimpy outfits and shimmying like a stripper when they thought it brought in ratings.

What happened with "A Fairy's Tale"?

We'd managed to finish filming before the scandal hit, but they quickly buried it since they didn't want the publicity of having me as their leading lady after the tape came out. I heard they eventually threw something together and did a direct-to-video release some time later, but if it ever made any money, I never saw any of it.

I know this is painful, but...your mother and your agent, Max. After the tape was released...what happened?

I wish I knew. They just up and left. I was just...stunned.

There were a number of theories at the time, including one that suggested that they were the ones who released the sex tape.

No. I used to think that, too—I was so angry with them!—but it simply wasn't in their interest to torpedo my career. They were living off of me. And I can't believe they could have been working with Jackson. No, I think they saw their gravy train coming crashing to a halt and bailed. Bailed on me.

I was also surprised by the reaction from the GC producers. The sex tape was obviously damaging, but there you weren't a "leading lady," just part of the ensemble. And even bad publicity could be good for the show, yes? After all, they didn't fire Jackson, and he was right there with you on the video.

Nice double standard there, huh? That was my first time really experiencing it as a woman and it was an eye-opener. Jackson's reputation—the drinking, the drugs, the sex—was already so lewd and indecent that this was hardly considered shocking behavior for him. The fact that he released a tape having sex with his she-male co-star, which was how some in the press started referring to me—nice, right?—hardly mattered. You can't smudge an already tarnished reputation.

I thought Jackson denied having released the sex tape?

I'm sure he was just covering his ass. Legally there was nothing wrong with having sex with a co-star, but admitting to releasing that publicly might have opened it up for me to sue for defamation of character or something. He had all the angles covered.

But it didn't go as well for you.

I was hardly innocent and pure, but I also got the double whammy. On the one hand I was trying to cultivate an image as a respectable young actress, and the double standard that rewards male sexual exploits punished me for being a wanton whore. But to make things worse, it was public knowledge that I was a male living as a woman. When everything was going well, the press was content to hang a fig leaf over that, so to speak. But when the sex tape came out I was basically waving my manhood in America's face, and there was no coming back from that.

By this point you'd been living as a woman for some time. Did you decide to continue living that way because you'd grown to accept or even enjoy the lifestyle?

Oh, GOD, no. I hated it. And now I was the punch line to a bad joke. Having to continue to live as a woman only made it worse.

So why not go back to being a man?

I would have if I could have, believe me! There was literally no money. With no money, no prospects, and a mountain of debt, I had to file for bankruptcy and sell everything I could...the house, the cars, even most of the dresses and junk I'd bought when I was red carpet material. And the legal fees were eating me alive. I was suing the show to keep my job, suing Jackson about the video, and suing the film producers for the movie, all without success. At that point I couldn't even afford surgery to get my boobs removed!

What about the so-called "mockumentary?" If you were willing to give up life as a woman, why not come clean? The publicity couldn't hurt, and you could probably cash in on that...at least get a book deal?

That was the film company that I was suing. Even though I was in practically every second of footage, I didn't actually own the rights to it. It was owned by a shell company that Max and Barbara must have set up. I couldn't get my hands on it. Or it might be more accurate to say that I couldn't afford the extended legal battle needed to do so.

As I recall, that particular legal battle also made the news, didn't it?

It did. It was horrible. On its face, I was trying to lay my hands on the documentary about my "heroic decision to transition" because that's the line we'd been feeding everyone. Then I made the mistake of telling the press the truth, that it was all a big publicity stunt and that I was just playing everyone for a fool. Well guess what? People don't like to be made to look like fools. So it was much easier for people to assume that this was a desperate lie by a desperate little tranny trying to get the spotlight back on herself. I should have kept my mouth shut.

And nobody else could corroborate your story?

Nobody knew! Max and my mother did, but they screwed me and skipped the country. Everybody else, even the doctors, just thought I desperately wanted to be a woman.

What about Felicity?

Oh, God, Felicity. You've no idea. I went to her and begged her—BEGGED her!—to come out with me to the press. She refused, and I said some really, really terrible things to her. Of course, deep down I knew she was right. Without anything else to corroborate my story, she'd just look like my ex-girlfriend stepping forward to back up my lies. It would have dragged her though the mud with me and it wouldn't have changed anything, but it took me a while to realize that. I felt just terrible for how I treated her. She was my one friend through the whole ordeal and I treated her horribly.

Tristan sniffles and dabs away tears.

You two would later reconcile, though.

Yes, years later. She's a good friend.

After that, you dropped out of the public eye for a number of years. What happened?

It was really rough. I was broke and nobody would touch me. I was mad at the world and mad at myself. Worse, since I started Galaxy Crusaders while I was a teen, I never actually finished high school. So as far as the world was concerned, I was a disgraced has-been transgender actress and high school dropout. My prospects weren't particularly sunny.

What did you do?

I won't lie, I contemplated suicide. I probably would have except I remembered what Felicity had once told me about having to put in the hard work and how if I'd worked as hard at being an actor as I had at trying to fool people that I wanted to be a woman, I'd have been more successful. But with no acting jobs and as low as I was, I could only think of one other option.

Which was?

I still had my looks, my boobs, a few nice dresses. I was an unemployable trans woman in her early twenties with no friends and no marketable skills who was a sliver away from living on the streets of Hollywood. I considered getting into porn. As a famous—or perhaps now infamous—seemingly-transgender actress, I'm sure people would have paid for that, but the continued public humiliation was just too much to bear. But private humiliation? Degrading myself for just one person? Jackson had prepared me well for that. So that left...

Prostitution.

I made my decision. That night, I got all dolled up...I teased out my hair and sexed up my makeup, put on my sluttiest high heels and a slinky dress that showed off the goods. I wasn't runway pretty, but there was no doubt what I was...what I'd become. Then I grabbed my purse, filled it with a handful of condoms, and I went for a walk. God, looking back on it it's a miracle I wasn't mugged or raped...I was so stupid. As I walked, I was still deciding where I should "set up shop" when a car pulled alongside. Obviously, the driver liked what he saw.

Pauses, a beat.

In that moment, I saw my whole life ahead of me. The hooking, the inevitable fall back into drugs and alcohol. I even thought about those two strippers that Jackson had hired to teach me how to give a lap dance for that one episode. I thought about tracking them down and see if I couldn't make some money dancing. And when I thought about it all like that, suddenly pornography didn't seem like such a big step. I could make some money, maybe give some private shows...and best of all, I'd still be famous!

At the cost of your reputation.

Which was basically worthless except maybe as an entry into the porn industry, who'd probably welcome me with open arms if only to showcase how far I'd fallen. It hardly mattered, I knew I was finished as a serious actor. But what surprised me most, standing there on the street corner about to turn my first trick, was how little I cared. Going down on that guy would be the first step to my new life, and I was ready for it. Hooker, stripper, porno queen...the next chapters of my life all laid out in front of me. I know it sounds messed up, but part of me was even looking forward to getting the attention!

So what happened?

I leaned over to talk to the driver. He said I looked amazing, I thanked him and made some inane little comment...that he had a nice car, or something like that. We were just about to get down to discussing "business," and that's when I caught sight of my reflection. I looked good...better than good, actually...I looked hot. I was still attracted to women and could appreciate a nice piece of female flesh, even if it was my own. Then I turned and looked at the driver, looking at me appreciatively. And that's when I knew I couldn't go through with it.

The thought of having sex with a man turned you off?

You'd think so, wouldn't you? But my little sessions with Jackson had prepared me for that part. I know I COULD have gone through with it. But for some reason in that moment I thought of Felicity, how she'd stood by me despite my rotten behavior, my lies, my scheming. And I thought, "I can be better than this. A better man, a better woman, I don't know. She'd want me to be better than this." So...I walked away.

Wow.

Yeah. Of course, I was still broke with no prospects. So I went home, got undressed, scrubbed all the makeup off, and decided that I was going to start over, no matter how hard it was. Acting was all I knew, so I decided to start over again as me. The male me.

But...you still...?

...looked like a woman, right. I bound my breasts and cut my hair and started going out for auditions. Anything, whether it paid or not, I didn't care. I was rediscovering my love for acting.

How did that go?

"Starving artist" may sound romantic and noble, but it really, really, really sucks! And it was hard for me playing a man, too. My boobs were hard to hide and the facial surgery made me look very boyish if not outright girlish. I'd even had laser hair removal done on my face, so I couldn't even grow a beard to look more masculine. I felt like a girl trying to pass herself off as a man...and believe me, that irony was NOT lost on me! I did a little modeling—the androgyny was kind of a plus there— not enough to pay the bills, but it kept me busy. And nights I was studying for my high school equivalency. It wasn't much of a life, but it was mine.

How did you pay the bills?

I did anything. Everything. It was a blow to my ego but I guess that's maybe what I needed. I was a busboy at one restaurant and later they made me a waiter. I made friends with one of the waitresses there and told her my story, or at least enough of it not to not make too many waves. She was the one who suggested I unbind my breasts and switch to being a waitress since I was pretty and the tips were better.

And were they?

She was right! "Big tits equal big tips," as she put it. It was a funny time of my life since I was still trying out for auditions as a guy, but then I'd dress up for work as a woman. The female me was supporting the male me!

How long did that go on for?

A while. The acting just never took off, and I was getting discouraged. Then one day while waitressing I got...well, "discovered" isn't really the right word. Maybe "noticed" by an agent. I was a little leery after my experience with Max, but he said he liked my look and gave me his card. He didn't have a problem with the fact that I wasn't a genetic woman, and he helped get me a little acting work. Small stuff...a play here, a commercial there, sometimes a gig as an extra. But I was acting again, and it felt good. Amazing, really.

So you were back to living as a woman full-time?

Mmm hmm. It still felt weird, but—I don't know— also familiar? The first time around as an "actress" I never, ever felt like a woman. Ever. I could prance around on my heels and wiggle my hips and show off my boobs and flirt, but it was always just a role. Play acting.

Even when you were with Connor?

I... Huh, wow, that's a good question. Looking back I see now that was all just fantasy at the time. I had SUCH a crush on him. But...yeah, in retrospect, that time with Connor was probably the first time I was able to get "out of my own head" and just be me.

Is that how you felt coming back to living full-time as a woman?

Mostly. Yes. Kinda?

I'm sorry, it's complicated.

Would you say that you identify as a woman now?

This is going to sound coy, but I don't even know what that means anymore. I'm not trying to be evasive, that's just how I feel. I know I look and act like a woman, but I've never really "felt like a woman," if that's even a thing. I've since met some genuine transgender people and I admire their courage and their struggles, but that's not me. It never has been. I just fell into this butt first!

So...you're a man trapped in a woman's body?

Okay, that's pretty funny. Sure, why not?

You said that at first you didn't have the money to pay for surgeries to remove the breasts and look more like a man, but now you've enjoyed a little success. Surely you could afford it now if you wanted?

Well, I AM getting more work as a woman these days, but...

He pauses thoughtfully.

When I said before that acting was all I knew, that's true to a point. But if I'm being honest it's really CELEBRITY that was all I knew. I loved the attention, the glamour, the lifestyle. At one point I had to look at myself in the mirror and acknowledge that while I still dream of being recognized and appreciated for my acting, THIS—

He gestures at himself.

—is what I'm famous for.

So even though you don't like being a woman, it's better than not being famous?

Wow, when you put it like that...wow. But, yeah, I guess I wouldn't totally disagree with that.

I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

So now, the truth comes out. You get to have your side of the story told, which is what you wanted, yes?

I've come to realize that when it comes to that period of my life, "getting what I wanted" isn't necessarily what's best for me. I mean, it's one thing for people to think that I wanted to transition and maybe had second thoughts. But now people know that I never wanted to be a woman in the first place, that my own vanity and ego turned me into the kind of woman that I used to use and toss to the side.

He sits up straight.

But, like I said, I've made my peace with it. I can't change what I did, but I'm just living my life. Maybe I can at least be a cautionary tale?

So you view this as some kind of a public service announcement?

Tristan laughs, then affects a serious look.

"Hey kids! Don't pretend to be something that you're not! Be yourself and stay in school, or you could end up walking the streets as a she-male hooker!"

I'm not sure the kids are ready for that.

Yeah, it needs a little polish.

We touched on it, but I'd like to talk a little about your relationship with Connor. Looking back on it, how would you describe it?

Oh, wow. There's just so much...I don't know. At first friendship, then envy, anger, fondness, attraction, affection, betrayal, disbelief, hurt, rage, acceptance...there aren't enough emotions!

Did you ever love him?

No. For a while I thought I did, but really I was just lonely and desperate and looking for approval and someplace to belong. Courting and using lonely and desperate girls is what Connor did. I was just too starstruck to stop and realize I was no different than the girls that had come before. The company of Connor's exes is an august sorority.

He pauses for a moment, contemplative.

This whole thing...I know I was stupid. And greedy. I'll own that. If I'd been exhibiting good judgment, my first big movie role wouldn't have had me stuffing my boobs into a corset. But falling for Connor? I don't know, it made sense at the time. God, I was SO lonely. Even apart from the romance, it was just fun to have someone to hang out with. And I NEVER thought I could be attracted to a man, but I won't lie, I got weak in the knees around Connor. Maybe it was the hormones, I don't know. But being around him felt like the sun on my face after coming out of a cold, dark cave. It may have been puppy love, but it came at a time when I was really vulnerable emotionally!

I notice that you had ended your list of emotions with "acceptance." Does that mean you've forgiven him?

I...hm. I would love to be able to say that I'm a big enough person to say that I had, but...I...I'm human, what can I say? I'm not nursing a grudge or anything, but that hurt goes pretty deep. Though I think I understand why he did what he did.

Why is that?

He once told me that he never hated me, and I think that's true. But despite what I may have believed at the time, he never really cared for me either. He was just...selfish. He looked out for his own interests. He was a user.

The same way that you yourself used to use women?

Tristan doesn't have an answer.

Ahem. So, looking back on all of it, would you do it again, knowing what you know now?

I know I'm SUPPOSED to say yes, and that I'm richer for the journey and all, but...no. No way. I appreciate the lessons I've learned, but there HAD to be an easier way to learn them. A lot of people have said that I got what was coming to me. That I tried to pretend I was transgender to draw attention to myself, and now I'm stuck. Except I'm NOT stuck. This was a choice, a choice I've decided to live with. I won't pretend that makes me noble or anything, but I'd like to hope it's made me a little better person. The things I've been through, the things that I've done, the choices that I've made— and had to live with—I think I'm a little wiser for the experience. Though it's a tough row to hoe...if you'd told me 12 years ago that I'd be in my early 30s working a struggling actress, I'd have punched your lights out!

But now you're back. On television, yet!

I am! It's been a long and difficult road back, but I've got a starring role on a sitcom. It's very exciting.

"My Uncle Fifi."

I know, it's silly. And dressing as a French Maid every week probably isn't helping my Emmy chances any. But it's a lot of fun and I've gotten positive reviews for my comedic skills. Who knew, right?

And now here you are at CrusaderCon, where it all started.

Yeah, it feels great to be back. I'd forgotten how amazing the fans are! Everyone has been so friendly and welcoming. After everything that's happened, that's really very special.

What about reuniting with the other actors from the show?

It's been...good. There's a lot of water under the bridge in some cases, but mostly it feels like a family reunion.

Including Connor?

I actually haven't seen him yet. He always has to make a big entrance!

Have you thought about what you'll say to him when you see him?

Not really.

FADE TO:

INT. CRUSADERCON MAIN HALL – DAY
The main auditorium of the convention center is jammed with fans, all abuzz in anticipation of this panel discussion of the entire cast. On the stage is long row of tables where the actors will sit to take questions from the crowd, with tent cards displaying each of the actors' names.

Fans of the Galaxy Crusaders show are well-known for their enthusiasm, but today's special full-cast reunion—the first time in almost ten years—has gotten everyone especially excited.

CUT TO:

Graham interviewing a young couple before the event. The young man is dressed in a GC duty uniform, and the young woman is wearing a Moon Princess costume like what Tristan wore for his "coming out" announcement at the convention years before.

SO excited!

What are you hoping to see?

Seriously, they could just sit down and read from the phone book and I'd probably walk away happy. I guess I'm just hoping to hear some cool anecdotes from the show.

Ugh, you could read those online! I want to see Connor and Tristan.

Shocker.

CUT TO:

Another pair of convention attendees.

I want to see them kiss.

Connor and Tristan?

Yeah. I want smooching.

I want to see her slap him.

What, really?

Yeah, I want her to really haul off and deck him. That'd be great.

Okay, that would be pretty cool. That, or smooching.

CUT TO:

Another convention attendee, a guy dressed up as Tristan's character, Lt. Erin Fairchild, in the female duty uniform.

I don't care. I just want it to be big and dramatic!

CUT TO:

Later, during the introductions. The newer members of the show are introduced to tremendous applause and they wave and take their seat. Applause is particularly strong for longer-serving members of the crew.

...Felicity Manchester, as Lt. Shelby Clarke!

The crowd applauds loudly as Felicity sits down.

And back for the first time in nine years, Tristan Sinclair—Lt. Erin Fairchild!

Tristan walks out onto the stage smiling but somewhat hesitant. The crowd cheers wildly and unexpectedly gives him a standing ovation. He pauses, visibly shaken and choked up. He starts crying a little as he sits down next to Felicity and laughs, dabbing away tears.

And finally, back with his Galaxy Crusaders crew for the first time in twelve years, Connor Covington— Lt. Calvin Ross!

The crowd goes nuts and quickly bursts into a standing ovation, more due to Connor's current superstar celebrity status than for his former role on the show. Connor, clearly used to the attention, emerges looking reserved and self-effacing, and gives a smile and friendly wave to the crowd. He begins to move to his seat and pauses, and instead turns and heads over to where Tristan is sitting. The energy of the crowd changes abruptly as all eyes watch to see what will happen.

Hi.

Tristan looks at him for a long moment before taking Connor's hand, and the audience cheers. Tristan suddenly jumps up and hugs Connor warmly and whispers something in his ear. Connor kisses Tristan on the cheek and the crowd cheers wildly. As the two take their seats, Tristan is flushed and smiling, blinking away tears and stealing another look at Connor as he sits. Connor is the picture of cheerful confidence as the applause continues.

As the audience settles down, the emcee is clearly a little thrown by the crowd's big reaction.

Okay, so are there any questions out there, or do we just want them to hug again?

The audience laughs.

Well, first, welcome back, everyone! This reunion has been a LONG time coming and I know for some of you it's been a long and winding road getting here. But now you're back. Back with family...

FADE TO BLACK

FADE TO:

INT. FELICITY'S OFFICE - DAY
Felicity is seated on a couch in her office being interviewed by Graham, as before.

What did you think of Tristan's reconciliation with Connor at the convention?

I'm happy for them.

You sound skeptical?

Look, this is Hollywood. Everybody wants the big Hollywood ending with the big warm hug and tearful reconciliation at the end while the music swells and then we fade to black before the credits roll.

So you think they were being insincere?

I'm just saying they're both used to playing to the crowd. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not. If it is, I'm happy for them. But at the end of the day, we're still in Hollywood.

What kind of ending would you prefer for the story?

Well, if you're making a documentary, I think people would want the truth.

I'm glad you feel that way. In fact, I had a few dangling questions I'm hoping you can help me answer.

Certainly.

The episode "Pleasure Slaves of Zentax"...that was the one that Jackson directed where Tristan had to give him a lap dance.

Sure, I remember it.

When I interviewed Kat, she joked that it was probably "a spec script submitted by a horny thirteen year old." I went back and checked and it turns out that it WAS a spec script...the author's name was a pseudonym.

I can't blame them. I wouldn't want to take credit for that dreck, either.

As a rule, Galaxy Crusaders didn't take spec scripts. But you know the other one they took? "The Mists of Gynos." That was the first one where Tristan had to dress up as a girl for most of the episode. Also written by an anonymous author. Funny that they would make exceptions for those two scripts, don't you think?

Was that a question? Yes, I suppose it's funny. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

I'm sorry, I'll be more direct. You're friends with Karen Ellison, aren't you?

Who?

She was one of the network executives involved with Galaxy Crusaders. She started off as a production assistant. You went to the same sorority, didn't you?

Her name is vaguely familiar.

She was also in a position to get spec scripts approved. Both of which seemed to happen a few months after your blow-ups with Tristan.

I don't appreciate the insinuation, but if what you say is true, then I suppose you can blame her for those episodes.

Maybe. You know, one other thing that people noticed was how quickly Tristan "blossomed" under the effects of the female hormones. He started taking them just before CrusaderCon, but the effects were noticeable months sooner than expected.

Just lucky, I guess...some people are genetically blessed.

Or he was on the hormones longer than he realized. You and he broke early the previous November, didn't you? It was pretty acrimonious, I believe.

I don't recall.

Really? That was right after you'd convinced him to dress up as Wonder Woman for Halloween. It was all over the news. That's when he called you a "star whore" and accused you of sleeping your way into your current role. And all that was just a few months after your other big public blow-up over the summer when you accused him of cheating on you.

So you're suggesting I started surreptitiously giving him female hormones somehow? That's funny, you should write that up as a script.

Tell me, who had the idea for the "mockumentary" where Tristan pretended to came out as a woman? You were obviously in on it, but neither Barbara nor Max took credit for it. That's an odd thing for them to forget.

I'm sure I don't know.

And now these days Tristan is playing a role where you can tune in every week and watch him mince around in a maid's costume. Who helped him land that, I wonder? Tell me, was it frustrating when Tristan failed to turn to prostitution to support himself when he was nearly homeless?

Oh, please. Now you're just embarrassing yourself. Yes, I helped Tristan to get an audition for that sitcom. I'm a producer, and I was just helping out an old friend. And as to the rest, did it ever occur to you that Barbara and Max are just lying to make themselves look better? And even IF Tristan was somehow taking the hormones months before he claims—which I seriously doubt—wouldn't the more plausible answer be that he was taking them himself? That he wanted all this from the beginning?

You're suggesting that Tristan was genuinely transgender all along and engineered this whole charade to come out as a woman?

Well, it's certainly more plausible than this preposterous "evil ex-girlfriend" scenario you've concocted.

So then he arranged to release his own sex tape to destroy his own career. And then inexplicably chose to withhold the "mockumentary" footage which might have at least partially exonerated himself.

Obviously you've made up your mind, haven't you?

I just find it interesting. You yourself said that Jackson was like the male Tristan fast-forwarded twenty years. And Connor knew how to manipulate and use women, just as Tristan used to do as a man. Just as he did to YOU. I mean, what are the odds that he would end up in the arms of two men so like himself that would use, abandon, and publicly humiliate him, just as Tristan did to you? What would you call that?

Poetic justice?

That's funny. Though I wonder how funny Tristan would find it.

Tristan made his own choices.

Yes, he did. But it does seem like the options he was being presented with weren't entirely random, were they?

He decided that he'd rather play at being a woman if it means a few more seconds in the limelight. I think that tells you something about him right there.

I notice you're not calling Tristan "her" anymore.

What are you hoping to achieve here, Mr. Kelly?

As you said, I think people just want the truth. And whatever mistakes he's made, I think it's commendable that Tristan is trying to move on with his life. But, I do think that a significant part of the story is knowing who the real villain is...don't you?

Well. I suppose that IF I did the things you're accusing me of—that's not an admission, mind—then that wouldn't make me a very nice person. Would it?

She gives him a tight smile.

FADE OUT.

When writing the story, I found Tristan's voice pretty quickly, but I found it useful to "cast" many of the characters to try and get their tone right. I encourage others to come up with their own, but these were the pictures next to my computer I used for inspiration as I wrote this:

Tristan Sinclair (Male, visual reference only).......Jonathan Brandis
Tristan Sinclair (Female, visual reference only).....Amy Childs
Graham Kelly.........................................Morgan Spurlock
Felicity Manchester..................................Kristen Bell
Barbara Sinclair.....................................Christine Baranski
Max Samuels..........................................John Spencer
Jackson Deerwood.....................................Charlie Sheen
Connor Covington.....................................Orlando Bloom
Dave Letterman.......................................Himself
Paul Shaffer.........................................Himself

Of course...work of fiction...no resemblance intended to any persons living or dead, blah blah blah. (But how awesome would it be if there were!) :-)

No baby chinchillas were harmed during this production. But they were Googled. They're adorable.

And one last special shout-out for Fraylim's artwork! Amazingly, I never actually commissioned him for any of this...not this or any of the Fifi artwork. He just did it on his own and sent it to me because he was a fan of the character and the stories. How generous is that?