Chapter 1.8

I walked into my apartment, and couldn’t believe my eyes. While I had almost expected it, seeing what they had done packing, I was surprised. I had placed holders for all of my small instruments on the wall in the old place. While this was a mirror image of the old rooms, everything had been put away the same way.

My piano was sitting across the room from the display of instruments, in exactly the same position it had been in. Only everything was reversed.

I checked out my kitchen alcove, and things were where I had them in the old place as well. My bathroom and bedroom were the same. I wondered how much fear John had faced while touching my clothes. Just the thought of him touching them horrified me, but on a lower level, I appreciated what he had done. It was kind and thoughtful, something I had doubted a man could be.

I debated washing all of my clothes because I knew he had touched them. Instead, I went to my computer and typed a message, just two words long, and then sent it to John. “Thank You.” I didn’t want to face him and cause as much fear as that would bring to both of us. Sending a text would be much less of a trigger.

I sat down in my recliner and pressed the button that raised my feet. I had planned on this once I got done unpacking, and now found it really wasn’t necessary. I reached for my books that were usually on a table on my right, then realized they were on my left. These were reprints that a friend had made for me, I had rewritten them from memory, thanks to my nanites, and they had been printed as soon as we had paper to use. I hadn’t asked for them. They had been a gift. I picked up one that was a music text, then thought better of it. I wasn’t tired. In fact I had sat watching the men working, so my backside really didn’t want to be used for sitting for awhile.

I went outside, and it was much easier. There was not a man in sight, but quite a few women were working on storefronts. I looked to the right, and there was a large space being unused. I was disappointed as I would love something this size for another restaurant. For a moment I wondered if any shop I set up should be temporary. What if I was touched by a man?

During our trip downstairs, John had told me that we had finally lost contact with Earth. The signal started degrading during our reception, and it disappeared a moment later. Our people were checking everything on our end, but in reality we just felt we were too far away to receive anymore. Thus, we didn’t have Earth’s vastly more experience with this situation.

I got to thinking about it, and realized I wouldn’t be leaving this bay, very much anyway. I had told John and Marc that Kari and I would communicate through communications. If I set up my restaurant, I would be able to do my commander stuff from home, and my music and cooking in the restaurant. I shouldn’t have to leave at all.

We built a room behind my kitchen to contact the command center from. It was a perfect location where I could keep an eye on things during the day although I had a wonderful assistant chef who could cook rings around most people.

I had split my cooking to six hours before my command time and four after. While that only left six hours to sleep, I had always done fine with that before. I also allowed my assistant to cook the ‘weekend’ meals, so I got some time off for relaxing.

Once again, our lives became a routine, day in and day out, until one morning, Kari and I both got a call early from John and Marc.

“We need you to meet us in the small circle,” John said.

I tried to speak, but couldn’t. He wanted us to go out of our bay. Out where the men were! I didn’t know if I could handle it. I hadn’t seen a man in five months.

“There’s been an… incident there,” Marc said.

“You’re gonna have to give me more than that,” Kari told him. “I’m not coming there for an ‘incident’.”

“Uh… You might want to for this one,” John told us.

“What’s going on, John?” I asked.

“Someone was attacked outside the control room.” John hesitated, then his face went whiter than it had been before. “She was killed.”

I was on my feet in a second, and out the door, hurrying down the street. It took me a moment to realize Kari was right beside me.

“Stupid men!” She was very hot. I grabbed her arms and turned her toward me. “We can be angry, yes. But we have to maintain clear heads. We have no idea who killed her. For that matter, we have no idea yet who was killed. She may not even be a heterosexual woman.” I paused for a second, then added, “Not that it matters. Whoever it is, we have to deal with it as professionals.”

“I know, but I need to get rid of the anger before we get there.” I thought for a moment and realized she was right.

“Stupid men!” I said, then we both smiled. We couldn’t laugh, under the circumstances. Possibly one of our own had been killed, and we were going into the arena where it had probably been done.

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When we arrived, we approached slowly. We saw John and Marc standing off to the side, and a medic was crouched looking at something beside a body. We stopped before we could identify the woman. We really didn’t want to get any closer. It looked to me like she had been beaten terribly.

John was positively green, and he stepped around the carnage and walked to within just a couple of meters of us. We were both so infuriated by the death, we stood our ground. Not that I didn’t feel like turning and running back to our sanctuary.

John looked positively green. His eyes seemed to be flashing in anger. For a moment I thought we were going to have to defend ourselves, but when he stopped, we could see he had been crying too.

I couldn’t figure out why he would be crying over the death of a woman… unless…

“Who was it, John?” I asked.

“It was Perl,” he said, his voice flat.

We had both known her for a long time, even before we were forced into the station. Both of us had gone out with her many times. Not a romantic thing; just as friends.

“Who did this?” I looked to my side. Kari and I had been holding hands for support, and she was squeezing mine hard. She was more pissed than I had ever seen her.

“We don’t know,” Marc had joined us, and he looked about as sick as John did.

At that moment, Kari gave a stifled cry, and her knees buckled. Marc looked torn. He wanted to help her, but the fear kept him back. I ended up supporting her weight and lowering her to the ground.

I looked beyond the two men facing us, and I saw why Kari had fainted. I heavily fell to the ground, managing to land on my butt. The Medic had moved to the body and the item he had been examining was left in gruesome display. It was Perl’s head, her platinum blonde hair covered with red.

I put my head down and started bawling. I heard a shuffling and looked up. John was kneeling in front of me; out of arm's reach but close enough that I could make out every detail of his face. Strangely, I wasn’t feeling any fear for a change. I almost wanted to bury my face in his chest and cry, and I would have, but a different fear stopped me. I didn’t want to change John to a woman, accidently.

The medic walked toward us, and stopped about five meters away. “Can I talk to you, gentlemen?”

John turned and looked at the man. I couldn’t see his face from my anger, but I heard his voice. “Anything you have to say needs to be told to these ladies as well. We are EQUAL in our rank. Is that clear?”

I couldn’t see John’s face, but I could see the medic’s. He looked at John with more fear than he did me or Kari. He gulped, and I imagined I could hear it even where I was. “Yes, Sir,” he said very slowly.

Then, something very strange happened. John reached out toward me. I started to shy away, but held his hand up. He was wearing gloves. “Are you afraid of me right now?”

I thought about it, and realized I wasn’t. I shook my head. I knew my eyes had widened in surprise. He took both my wrists and told me, “Whatever you do, make sure our faces don’t touch.” Then he pulled me to my feet. For a moment, he steadied me, then we walked towards Perl’s body. It was so strange. There was no fear of him at all; just gratitude… and something else. I didn’t have time to examine that, however as we were not standing by the remains of our friend.

Marc and Kari were suddenly standing to my right, Marc in between me and Kari. Again the fear was not there. I knew the lack was from what had happened to Perl, and hoped that her death might give us some insight into what was going on.

“We need to have a female medic here too.” My voice was wracked with sobs as I tried to speak.

“I’m not good enough?” the medic sneered from somewhere behind me.

John whirled around, almost pulling my arm out of its socket. His voice was full of fury now, and as I was right beside him, I could see his face. It was as if all of the terror he had felt over the past six months was coming out in the form of anger. “If you speak to her that way one more time, I will make sure you are working in the recycling plants for the next millenia.”

“John, it’s okay. We’re all upset here,” I said, patting his hand in… I don’t know. The only emotion I could think of I shouldn’t be feeling for him.

He turned to face me. The anger seemed to melt off his face and was replaced by tenderness. “No,” he said. “No it’s not okay. I’ve missed you, and for the first time since this mess began, I’m not afraid of you.” He looked at Marc and Kari who both wore astonished expressions. He seemed to dare them to stop him from saying what he wanted, no matter the circumstances. “I’m standing here, holding you. I’m feeling terrible about Perl, but at the same time, I’m able to acknowledge my feelings for you. I’m having a hard time understanding this.”

I backed away from him and he lowered his eyes to the space between us. He looked back at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. It must have been hard for him to say those things. I know I was feeling hurt as well, and I know he saw it in me.

“I guess the feelings aren’t reciprocated.” he said sadly.

He was turning back when he stopped. He heard me say, “They are.” He turned back, confusion on his face. “I backed away, because I didn’t want to turn you into a woman, John.”

He stared at me, then seemed to realize what I meant. I stepped back to his side, and stared at our friend. The Medic walked around us and gave us his report. He was still clearly disturbed by us. I wasn’t sure if he was afraid or angry.

I was having feelings for the man standing to my left, I had no fear of the man on my right, and I was pissed beyond measure at whoever had done this to my friend.

May God help the person when I found out who it was,.