Author retains all rights to this original work of fiction.

Thursday, March 29th 3:04 AM
"You must live here," I commented trying to maintain my composure because those 'To-kill-ya' shots were now making me feel a little fuzzy.

"Feels like that sometimes, but I split my day most times. A lot of it depends on what we've got going on around here, like your competition requires a bit more time onsite, so I didn't skip out today. The GM is pretty good about letting us take banked time and get free of this place," he thought about his statement and added, "It's a really good property to work at, so I'm not complaining or anything..."

I was trying really hard to stay focused and between complaining, splits, competition, and banks I wasn't sure what I wanted to comment on so punted, "I'm going to my room..."

"Oh... I'm about to get something to eat before the kitchen closes," he said nodding back over his shoulder.

I took that to mean the kitchen for the club. Did he tell me the main kitchens in this place never shut down? Wasn't that something he said on his 'Dime' tour? I began giggling, "I've got a dime..."

Blake looked totally confused, "A dime? What are you talking about Brea?"

The tour silly... Your 'Dime' tour. Did you forget already? I didn't just say that, right? Wait... Are you inviting me to get something to eat?

"You okay? You have a couple drinks tonight," he asked.

Be cool... Just say you did and move along, "Maybe...," I said all cutesy, so the answer was clear. Where the fuck did that come from?! I was trying to hold it together and obviously my brain was slipping gears. Am I toying with him? No... No, no, no...

"Ah... So you did," he said smiling, "Well good for you. I'm sure it's been a stressful day and you needed to take the edge off. I owe you a drink," he said looking closely at me, "Maybe later today?"

"No, I'm not drinking tomorrow...," I had to think about that and it probably showed on my face, "Today, I'm not drinking today..." Oh shit, it's already today, but the night time makes you think of today, right? Yesterday? I should really get out of here and to bed before I say something really stupid. I'm not even making sense - even to myself. Cents? Sense... 'Dime' and I giggled out loud again...

"Come on, let's get you to your room...," he said with a hint of playful concern.

"Okay...," I replied with more cheer than intended. I reached out and touched his arm after saying that. Why did I do that? He was looking at me funny. Was it my touching his arm? Say something... "This way..."

"Ah, no - that's the way back to the theater. Do you need to get something first," he asked.

"Oh, I meant... That-a-way!" I pointed in the opposite direction than I had originally thought I needed to go. So much for NOT looking stupid. I was pretty sure I was failing that test big time. Why did I feel so bubbly right now? Tests, "How old are you Blake?" Shit! Did I really just ask him that?

"I'll be the big three-O next month. Why?"

Whoa... I thought you were way older than twenty-nine, why was that? Do you look old? Sorta... Maybe your job and your overly mature air makes you seem like you are old, older? Everyone calling you 'Mr. Schultz' like you were olden... Augh... Say something! "I'm onna be twenty-four in July. On the seven's... Seventh..." Oh, crap... I needed to keep my mouth shut! I began walking in the direction he'd corrected me on and it quickly became obvious this was the way to the lobby and elevators. Was he going to escort me all the way to my room? Do I allow that? This, allow this? That? Whoa, the floor is moving...

Thursday, March 29th 3:09 AM
At the elevators I hit the 'Up' arrow and turned to Blake, "Well, this is my ride..."

"I think I'm going to make sure you make it Brea... Come on," he chided, his hand on my back to guide me into the now open elevator.

I hoped my blouse wasn't sweaty from dancing - that would be gross. When we were in the elevator he turned to the panel and pressed '6'. How did you... "How did you know I'm on the six, sixth floor," I asked trying not to sound to accusatory, though I'm sure my face said WTF.

He took a moment to formulate his reply, "All the contestants are on the sixth floor Brea. I have no idea what room you are in, but if you don't know I can find out easy enough...," he said pulling his phone from his suit pocket.

He didn't sound annoyed, but he did sound serious. Old... Did he think I was thinking he was a stalker again? "I don't think you are a stalker or anything like that, Blake..."

"Well that's good. Because I'm not, Brea."

"And that is a good thing... I do know my room, so you can not phone someone," I said as the doors to the elevator closed and we were now alone. Why was I looking around? We were alone on this ride up...

Thursday, March 29th 3:10 AM
I stepped out and knew I needed to go to my left, Blake followed - because he said he didn't know what room I was in. So he had to follow me, right, he's following me? Grrr! I'm losing it! Get your keycard out! I unzipped my wristlet clutch and retrieved my keycard as we walked the long hallway to my room. I didn't look to see if Blake was watching me or not, but it felt like it. When we got to my room I stuck the card in, pulled it out quickly, and the light shown green. I pushed the handle down and pushed the door open a couple inches.

OK Blakey... This is where you say you want to kiss me - it's just that thing that happens to me in Vegas hotels. Mom said you like me... Oh, blue eyes... I looked at his face closely and he had the kindest blue eyes. Is that even a thing? Kind eyes? Was he more attractive now that he wasn't thirty-five, forty years old? Do I say something? I think I would kiss you... Can you hear my thought, thoughts? What a loopy...

"You going to be alright...," he asked.

"Yes... Thank you for seeing home away from home safely," I said leaning back into the door pushing it open half way. Am I inviting him in? Will he think that? I'm tempted to tell you what my mom thinks about you Blakey... Are you going to...

"Ok, well get some sleep. Big day coming up. You've got a real shot at winning this thing Brea...," he said interrupting the one-side conversation I was having with myself silently. He smiled and turned to walk away.

Where... What? Ah... You're going to walk away like that fuck Tyler, then come back. I see how this is going to go. Is this a guy thing? Is there a chapter on seduction that says 'Be nice, don't push it - she will want you even more'? I watched him walk away... Nice ass. You're going to look back and see me... Look back... He stopped at the elevator and I ducked inside before seeing if he looked back. He'll be back...

I shut the door softly, over animating my movements, and lean against it. Augh, I could feel the dulling on my brain the tequila shots were inflicting. On my brain? I flicked the light switch on... I'm so tired... Get undressed. No, when he comes back I don't want to be naked. Or do I? No... I walked to the bed, sat on it facing the door waiting. Should be any second now. Any second Blake...

Am I impatient? He should have been back by now, right? Wait, it's a long hallway. Do I go look? No! I'm just going to lay down until you get here... I plopped back onto the bed. Oh fuck that feels good. Like I'm floating... Do I even want to get up when he knocks? I should have just left the door ajar with that lock thingy... Just gonna close my...

Thursday, March 29th 9:03 AM
I rolled away from the noise, pulling a pillow over my head. My mouth was dry, my vision a bit fuzzy, and my head hurt. The pounding noise stopped. Thank God! I should have put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the handle. Better yet, tied a sock to the handle to freak mom... Shit! My mom! I threw the pillow and covers off and hopped out of bed, making it to the door and opening it just as my phone began ringing behind me.

"Oh... Did you not sleep well honey," mom asked, hanging up and putting her phone away.

Mine stopped ringing behind me. Augh... I wanted to tell her not to yell, but squinted and shook my head 'No'. Truth was I sleep pretty hard for the first couple hours until I got cold and wrapped myself in the comforter from the bed. Then a couple minutes passed and I needed to pee... So I got up, did my business, and took off my clothes. The tape removal was NOT enjoyable half asleep and maybe slightly inebriated. I did a quick water splash on my face and a vigorous towel rub to get most of the makeup smeared really good all over my face and deep into my pores. Then returned to bed... My skin would be paying the price for that today... What the hell time is it anyway?

"You want me to order breakfast in Brea?"

The door clicked behind me and it took a good ten, fifteen seconds before I could engage my body to move.

"Brea?"

I heard you mom... "Sure, I need to get in the shower..." Without waiting for a reply or question about what I might want to eat I entered the bathroom, closed the door, and got a good look at DEATH staring back at me from the mirror. Oh fuck me...

Thursday, March 29th 9:57 AM
I took no less than a thirty minute shower and would have sat in the tub with the water pouring over me longer had my mom not peeked in to say breakfast was here. I did all the personal care shit almost immediately upon entering the shower and the sitting in the tub part was a good ten minutes of mind numbing nothing... I didn't feel sick, but my head hurt pretty good.

I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around my head and one around my body under my arms. I tried wiping the mirror - too much steam. Switch gears... I grabbed my bottle of ibuprofen and threw three in my mouth - sucking water from my hand at the faucet. Work quickly... Please!

I opened the door to the bathroom and was slapped in the face with the smell of eggs, toast, possibly pancakes or something sweet and cake smelling, and of course coffee. I then smelled bacon and my stomach made a queasy rumble and for a second I considered bolting back into the bathroom. Toast... Plain, bland toast...

"You look like you've regained a bit of color..."

"Yeah, the red you see if from the hot water trying to melt away bad decisions mom...," I said taking a tentative bite of toast. Once it went down and didn't seem to want back out, I chomped a bigger bite. Water... I needed water and lots of it. I headed to the mini-refrigerator and pulled a bottle of water, uncapped it, and chugged almost half. OMG that tastes so good... For water that is...

"If Bill finds out you were..."

"I know mom," I interrupted her complaining, "I know...," I softened my tone.

"Well you shouldn't have been out so late or been drinking..."

"Yes, that was a bad decision I won't be making again anytime soon," I replied assuring her I got it.

"You want to try some eggs," she asked.

I picked up the metal top from the plate sitting on the desk and saw the eggs, hash browns, a couple strips of bacon, and a couple mini pancakes. It all smelled really good, so I rolled some eggs and bacon into a pancake and took a tentative bite. No revolt from my stomach, so I went about eating my pancake burrito of eggs and bacon.

"What are your plans for the day?"

I looked towards the bedside table and the alarm clock, 10:03. "I'm supposed to be at the pool for another mingle event at 11:30... Not looking forward to that," I said trying not to sound like I was complaining - again or much.

"Well you better get going then. I'll get out of your hair and see you at the pool. You know it's raining out?"

"It is?" I walked to the window and pulled the curtains back. The skies were gray and it looked wet out. I was pretty sure there was an indoor pool, so maybe they'll move this event there? I relayed that to her. She said she'd find it and see me there. We hugged and she left me to finish the last couple bites of pancake burrito. I looked at the last bite - how come someone hasn't made this a breakfast staple? Augh! Focus...

Thursday, March 29th 11:36 AM
I had struggled to get my hair just right and my makeup done to where I didn't look pale or like I didn't have a clue how to apply makeup. Two strikes already on this day - though the ibuprofen had done the trick on my head. Likely the water and food had kicked in to round out the pain medications efforts and to right the pounding I had in my head. Thank you God for the assist, much appreciated buddy... Added bonus - no sore throat. Ditto that thank you...

The next big struggle of the day came when trying on, and deciding, which of the two swim suits I had bought for this trip was going to work for this gathering. A one-piece with a cute sheer swimmers wrap or a bikini top with cute surf shorts to hid my body from the waist down a little better. The once-piece made my tiny breasts look juvenile. How the hell did I think this suit was a good choice when I bought it? Augh...

It took less time to get out of that one than it did to put it on. In the end, I hated how both of these suits looked on me and settled on the bikini only because the top had a tiny bit of padding built into the underwire structure. Bonus, it had a little thicker material - giving the slightest bit of enhancement effect with the padding. Of course the shorts meant it would be easier to hide something I needed to keep tucked out of sight. Love being incomplete... NOT!

Dysphoria much today? Oh fuck yeah and it was approaching overload levels! The anxiety was crippling me already - even before leaving my room. Now here at this event, name tag proudly proclaiming 'Breanna Calloway - Finalist', and a crowd of maybe sixty people - at a really cool retractable roof indoor swimming pool - there wasn't enough air around me to breathe.

Augh! And to make matters worse, many of the women were either naturally gifted in the breast department or had paid to be enhanced. I was that pre-pubesic looking girl with no breasts, boney wide shoulders, and barely any hips. The only place I didn't scream 'dude in a bikini top and shorts' was in the ass department - thank you HRT! I was having a tough time holding it together. What the fuck was I doing here anyway?

"Oh... I love your bikini, Victoria Secret," a woman asked.

Startled out of my loathing self-doubt session I tried to answer politely, "Volcum, I got it at a skate shop in San Diego..."

"You're from San Diego? I live in Escondido, we should totally hang out sometime..."

She was so bubbly and normal sounding I wasn't sure how to respond without sounding bitchy. I don't do 'hanging out' with people I don't know... Grrr! I told her where I performed and she could hit me up there on Thursday night amateur showcases. She seemed interested and eventually went off to talk with someone else from the show.

I spotted Wyatt and headed his way. I hoped this wasn't going to be awkward...

Thursday, March 29th 11:42 AM
"Hey Brea... You look nice," Wyatt said looking me up and down in a non-pervy-way.

I hugged him, "Thank you Wyatt..."

"Not a problem... You sleep good," he asked smiling.

"Sort of, but not enough... You?"

"We closed the place down. I just got up, put on some shorts, flip-flops, and ran some gel through my hair. I need a freak'n shower like no one's business... Do I stink," he asked at a whisper.

"No, you smell fine... I like your cologne," I said smiling and very much relieved he was being so cool about last night. He was shirtless and he had a muscular chest. The scars from his breast removal were faded and barely noticeable. He was a man who took good care of his body, that was evident. If I got a chance later I was going to ask him about his dysphoria or seemingly lack of it - maybe get a clue to help me with mine...

"Sweet... I starving, so I'm going to get something to eat over there. You want anything?"

"Nah, probably hit the bar up...," he had a questioning look until I explained I needed water. We laughed and he went to get some food while I headed to the bar.

When I approached the bar I heard someone behind me saying, "Don't even serve this woman... She's cut off!"

I saw the surprised look on the bartenders face, then turned to see the smiling face of none other than Mr. Schultz. "Mr. Schultz... Good morning," I said trying to control the jitters my body was sending through me due to the lack of hydration, nerves, anxiety, and any other condition I could add to the pile.

"Miss Calloway... I almost came back to your room last night to see if you wanted a wake-up call from the front desk. I see you made it no worse for wear..."

"My mom was my wake-up...," I said. In the state I was in it's good he didn't come back to my room. This meeting would be way more awkward - not that I wasn't feeling a bit awkward remembering what a dork I was last night. Check that, this morning.

"Ah," he said interrupting me, while looking through me, "Mrs. Calloway, good morning..."

I turned to see mom behind me. We hugged briefly and she said, "Blake, please - Denise..."

"I knew that, but I'm just a little old fashioned," he explained, "Denise, good morning."

"Much better... I wanted to thank you for making sure Brea got to her room last night..."

I'd told her that, but nothing more. Now I was hoping this little reunion between them didn't load onto the embarrassment factor I was already feeling around him.

He smiled, "My pleasure. We need her ready to go tonight. Going to be a great show..."

While they continued to chit-chat, I mouthed 'Water' to the bartender, who looked at Blake questioningly. He nodded when Blake gave him a 'You're kidding me?' look and proceeded to load a red Solo cup with my favorite type of ice and filled it with bottled water. My dentist said I needed to stop chewing ice or I was going to screw up my teeth - I didn't listen... This ice was tiny and when you chewed it, it exploded into tiny little pieces with very little effort. I downed the water quickly, coaxed a mouthful of ice from the cup, and put the cup back on the bar for a refill - which was done quickly.

"Have you ladies been over to the expo?"

"I just got here," I stated. Mom said she saw the signs outside of the pool and by the elevators. I added that I also saw the signs, not sure why, but didn't want to appear like I wasn't aware of my surroundings.

"The vendors would have been much happier to have set up outside by the pool, but with the rain and possible thunder showers - we had to improvise. You should definitely check it out..."

How did this guy look so refreshed and functioning normally when there's no way he was in bed before 5 or 6 this morning. Are you a machine?

"We certainly will, you want to head that way Brea," mom asked.

"Sure... I don't see the PSB cameras around, tell me that's by design...," I asked Blake.

"They thought it would be too tough to get good footage in a crowd and then get signed releases from those that may get caught in their production. You might see them, but if they film it'll be a one-on-one thing," he thought about it a little more, "That's what Karen told me when I got here. I'm just here to make sure the bar, food, music, and pool part of this gathering doesn't get out of control...," he finished with a smile.

"I don't hear any music...," I challenged.

"DJ says the mixer fuse is shot or something. He's going to pull a backup unit from the club. Should be any minute," he turned to look toward the area setup for the DJ, "I should go check on him..."

"Okay, well I guess we'll see you around...," I replied.

"Sure... You a Volcom girl?"

What? Oh, my swim suit... "You know Volcom," I asked. That was stupid! He's not like twenty years older than I am...

"It's all I wore as a kid. I'm ashamed to say this, but my first tattoo was the Volcom Stone logo... Not my best decision...," he said with a little chuckle.

"Really? You have a Volcom logo tattoo," I asked, looking at mom who was shaking her head.

"Yeah, but I sense there's more going on here given that look on your mom's face..."

Mom spoke before I had a chance, "Brea thought it would be 'Cool' to get a Volcom tattoo from a friend who was an aspiring tattoo artist. What's he do now Brea, manages a Subway?" She let that hang out there a second before continuing, "I nixed that idea..."

"So you don't have any tattoos Brea?"

"No, but one day...," I replied - while mom nodded her head 'No'. Which was either a statement of her forbidding it - which she knew she couldn't. Or she was stating in her most motherly way that tattoos were a bad idea.

"You know we have a tattoo parlor in the hotel...," Blake stated.

"Let's not encourage her, Blake. She needs to be focused on tonight, not getting ink...," mom quipped.

"Understood Denise..." Blake winked at me and I couldn't help but smile.

"Alright... Got to get that music going. See you both later I hope...," he said and walked away heading towards the DJ set up.

When he was well out of earshot, mom asked, "Still think he doesn't like you?"

"Mom, nothing in any of that could be confused with like or attraction or whatever...," I said a little more exacerbated that I intended.

She was staring at me, then cracked the slightest of smiles, "You like him too..."

Augh! We're not having this conversation...

Thursday, March 29th 11:57 AM
The vendor expo at the Grand Cayman celebrating the Transgender Day of Visibility was much larger than I expected it was going to be. It was also way more crowded. The George Town banquet room it was being held in was easily three times the size of the banquet room we did our ‘Meet and Greet’ in last night. Right inside the door mom made her first purchase – two t-shirts promoting the singing competition. One was for me of course, I was very lucky to have such a cool mom! It took great effort to NOT put the thing on to help hide my body from a few stares I’d gotten already. Whatever! Get over yourselves… If this thing was held at the outdoor pool - no one would have given my swimsuit or me a second look.

We were given a flyer upon entry and a quick skim of it showed easily thirty to forty vendors. They represented: bakeries – for wedding cakes or parties in the local Vegas area; wedding planners – again Vegas based; clothing and jewelry boutiques – half from Vegas and others from as far away as San Francisco, LA, and Phoenix; makeup artists and supplies – including two booths selling wigs and everything you could imagine for hair care; a couple shoe manufacturers – I hadn’t heard of either of them, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be tempted; and finally all forms of medical representatives hawking plastic surgery, hair removal, weight-loss, and counseling services. Whomever coordinated this portion of the event had to be part of our community because there’s no way someone without insight could have gathered these vendors for every need or interest to someone who was Transgendered. The vendor expo, on paper, was meaningful - I was impressed and looking forward to seeing everything…

Three booths into it and mom bought a necklace for herself. What was I doing? I was being congratulated on my performance last night and being asked every question I had answered last night all over again. It was beginning to sap the enjoyment out of being here, that is until my phone vibrated.

When I checked it there was a text from Kaley: ‘Where RU?’

‘We just started walking through the expo. Where RU?’

She replied quickly, ‘Pool, looking for U! Wait for me!’

‘Left inside the entrance. We’re literally three booths into it.’

Kaley: ‘K!’ There was a kissy-face emoji after the exclamation point. What a goof!

Kaley joining us was a huge relief! She was always full of energy and she knew how to have fun – or make whatever we were doing fun. She also gave me the confidence to be myself and she was super protective - without being my mom. The fact she could squash a lot of my angst, anxiety, or self-doubting ways – HUGE! I think she enjoyed dragging me around though and making me feel like I was no different from her. When she found us we hugged quickly - let the fun begin! I was a little worried mom might feel deprived of mother / daughter time, but she loved Kaley as much as I did and their personalities combined always amped up the fun. Pretty sure mom considered Kaley her adopted daughter…

When we found the first shoe manufacturers booth it was game on and Kaley put out the ‘Do Not Disturb’ vibe so I could enjoy trying on a few pairs of super cute pumps, to die for wedge heeled sandals, and a pair of suede boots I couldn’t believe fit perfectly! I could see a couple people waiting to get time with me but took advantage of Kaley running interference. I would be gracious in a couple minutes – I just needed some me-shoe-time first.

“How much are these,” I asked the saleswoman. I hadn’t seen a price tag on any of the boxes. Finding cute shoes in my size, that didn’t kill my feet or scream any number of crushing… Nope don’t go there! Fuck your doubts today! Cute shoes. How much. Fit and feel are good. Don’t ruin this moment! Breathe…

“Sixty-five, but I can take thirty dollars off since you’re part of the show,” she replied. She picked up the box and looked on the bottom of it, “Mmmhuh, I can do thirty-five for those.”

“Kale’s… Cute or not,” I asked a little nervous.

“Really? Very cute…,” she said smiling while turning a pair of sandals over to check out their soles, “You have so many outfits those could go with…”

“Mom?”

“I like those honey…,” she replied. She really wasn’t looking for shoes and was pretty much hanging out waiting for me to decide what I was going to do.

Augh… Thirty-five was more than I cared to pay for a pair of shoes, but these wedged heeled sandals could go with nearly every skirt or dress I had for work. Cute, comfortable… I looked at my painted nails peaking out… I doubt I could walk into Marshall’s or Target and get a better deal – if they even had my size. Grrr! Just do it! “I’ll take these…,” I said confident I was making the right decision.

“Their one of our best sellers on our website. If you haven’t seen the whole expo I can hold them here for you after I ring you up…”

“Oh, that would be really cool. Thank you,” I said while pulling my Visa card out. I felt really good about this purchase. Hope the other shoe booth didn’t have any shoes I couldn’t live without!

Thursday, March 29th 12:25 PM
The second shoe booth thankfully didn’t have anything I liked – one pair of shoes purchased per day needed to be my limit anyway. Haha! The owner did give me a code I could use on his website to get twenty-five percent off any purchase and free shipping, but I would have to make a purchase before the end of next month. The quality just didn’t seem to be there with his products, so we didn’t stay very long. Kaley thought they looked a little too third world-ish, so did mom.

When we walked by a plastic surgery booth my name tag caught the eye of the woman in the booth, “You’re one of the finalists? I don’t recognize you from the show last night…”

“Yeah, I was wearing a wig. I sang Toxic…” My reply sounded more like a question - than confidently stating I had sung that song.

“Really? Whoa, I really loved that arrangement. Your voice is beautiful. Next to the ‘Hotel California’ guy, you were my favorite performer last night… I’m Susan Wilks-Jenson,” she said extending her hand over the table she was sitting at.

“Breanna Calloway,” I said, then realized she mostly likely had already picked that up from my name tag. Augh…

“Any interest in plastic surgery,” she asked, then something clicked in her eyes, “You’ve had some FFS, nose maybe? Trach shave?”

“That obvious,” I asked suddenly worried my face was somehow scar ridden.

“Relax Brea, she’s probably a surgeon and can just tell…,” Kaley said coming to my aid.

“I was for thirty-four years. Now I manage the practice for my daughter here in Vegas. Can I see…,” she stood and came around her little table to get a closer look at my face.

I was frozen by the request and just stood there while she examined my face. Kaley didn’t seem too concerned, but I knew if this got any weirder she would be the first to call an end to the surgical admiration going on. I looked for mom, she was in the booth next to this one deep in conversation about something.

“Really nice work… Your ears too? Whoever did this was highly skilled…,” she said stepping back, “My daughter doesn’t do SRS, but if you were interested,” her face softened along with her voice, “Not that you need it, but if you were interested in breast augmentation she is incredibly skilled…”

I looked at Kaley, who shrugged and said, “We’re from San Diego, so this would be a bit out of the way for her…”

“Oh… I understand. Have you given any thought about where you would do your SRS?”

It was the second time she had mentioned SRS and either she was guessing I hadn’t already had the surgery – which is kind of bold of her to be asking or she was fishing for something. I told her the name of the doctor and clinic in Toronto, Canada I had researched and was saving diligently to be able to afford the costs of their SRS program. And in my reply, there was the answer – no, I haven’t had SRS yet. I expected her next comment was going to be recommending someone else…

“I know that clinic and I’ve read a few of the papers published by that doctor. Why go there,” she asked.

“Because of all the places I’ve researched and everyone I’ve talked to – the doctor is the best… The clinic is renowned for its recovery support…”

She now was smiling, “Long way to go, but you’d do that for the best. I’m telling you my daughter is the best – look her up…,” she said handing me a card.

Well that kind of spun back around conveniently now didn’t it? I took the card and looked at Kaley, not sure what to say.

“Brea has been getting discounts on everything she’s bought today, anything like that available?”

My eyes widened, and I gave Kaley a look that said, ‘What are you doing?!’

It took a moment for Susan to consider, but she replied with, “Win tonight and I’ll knock off half. But you have to do a promo campaign for us. Could be print, website, YouTube, whatever. Before and after kind of thing, tasteful of course, and we'd want to use the fact you won...”

“If she places…,” Kaley came back quickly.

What the hell! I was stunned and stood there silently while these two haggled over the cost of something I really didn’t have a budget for and wasn’t even sure I wanted! Kaley!! I was safe from any discount if I was required to win – I doubted I could win this competition on my best day of singing. If I got lucky and placed though… Augh!

“Sure,” Susan said with her hand outstretched toward me. I took her hand and shook it. She continued, “Look into Ashley and her reputation. If you ever consider augmentation and you place tonight, and you do an add campaign for us – we’ll knock off half… Check out our website for more. Oh, and it doesn't have to be breasts, I'll honor that deal if there's something more you want done - though I would advise against it - your face is quite feminine.”

Kaley was all smiles and since I hadn’t said anything while these two haggled I said the first thing that popped into my mind, “Okay, that… That sounds really good… I’ll check,” I looked at the card, “Ashley out.”

Kaley turned away and walked towards the next booth, so I said goodbye to Susan and followed after her. Two steps taken, and mom snuck up behind me, “You talk to that woman about breast implants,” she asked.

“Mom…,” I complained, “Don’t really want to talk about it…”

“Okay,” she said, “Kaley, what was that all about?”

Kaley turned away from a jewelry display, “Getting Brea fifty percent off boobs… If she ever decides she wants them.”

She was way too pleased with herself, “Yeah, and tell her what I have to do to get that…,” I protested.

“She needs to place tonight…,” Kaley said, still pleased with herself and not picking up on any of the visual cues all over my face I had concerning us talking about this subject here. “Oh, and she has to do some advertising for the doctor… Piece of cake,” she added as an afterthought.

Mom was looking at me a little shocked, “I’m not getting implants… I’ve got other things I need to accomplish before I pay for that kind of thing. And as for placing tonight – not very likely… I’d have to be lucky and others would have to screw up. Everyone one in the finale can sing their asses off…”

“That’s the spirit…,” Kaley chided picking up a bracelet from the table and examining it.

“So can you honey,” mom added.

Augh! This isn’t… My attention was grabbed when I saw him moving around a couple of people four booths away and then I lost him as the crowd between us ebbed and flowed. I felt my stomach drop… I might have seen him first, but it was the woman he was talking with that caught my attention – was that Jennifer? That must mean Tyler was around here somewhere. I scanned the aisle and booths where Dana was – no sign of Tyler.

“What’s up,” Kaley asked noticing I was focus on something other than the jewelry at the booth we were in front of.

“I need to talk to someone, I’ll be right back…”

Mom and Kaley gave me a look before I walked away. I didn’t care, I was going to right the universe. Could I blow Tyler up right here in this crowded expo with his fiancée right there? I just needed to get the match lit and let it touch the fuse! Where are you, you son-of-a-bitch…

Thursday, March 29th 12:41 PM
My resolve hadn’t diminished until I was right behind Dana, my heart racing I reached out and patted his back tentatively, “Hey Dana…” Could I do this?

He looked over his shoulder, “Oh… Hey Breanna, how’s it going?” The woman I assumed was Jennifer stopped to see what was going on, probably thinking I was a fan trying to get a minute of his time.

“Good, thanks… Tyler around,” I asked.

The woman with Dana looked at me a little confused, maybe wondering why I was inquiring, then replied, “He’s still in bed… Little hung over…”

“Brea’s one of the finalists, Jen. Jennifer, Breanna… Brea this is Jennifer, Tyler’s fiancé,” Dana made the introductions. I already knew she was his fiancé which was at the center point of my ire right now…

“Hi…,” was all I could manage. It was taking every bit of control to not just throw up what her fiancé had…

“I don’t recognize you from the show last night, you must have sung after the fire alarm…,” Jennifer said snapping me out of my train of thought, “We left and did some gambling. Tyler did a little too much drinking…” She chuckled after sharing the Tyler drinking too much statement.

“Oh, guess that happens around here – people making poor choices… Sometimes they don’t even have to be stupid drunk…” I’m sure the dead, uncaring look on my face said there was more, but I stopped short of letting her know that her fucking fiancé had come to my…. Augh! What did I really want to accomplish here? She wasn’t the problem, but she should know – right?

“They don’t call this place Sin City without a reason,” Dana said, maybe starting to put the pieces together. He had a concerned look on his face.

I sensed someone beside me before they spoke, “Your mom wants you to look at a sundress when you’re done here…”

I didn’t look at Kaley, just held my stare with Dana, “Yeah, poor choices and sins…” I turned without saying another word and headed back toward the clothing booth I assumed mom was waiting for me to come check out a sundress.

Kaley was right next to me, “That was a little chilly, I assume there’s a story…”

“Let’s talk about it later…,” I replied.

I felt the poke on my back and turned to see Jennifer right behind me, "What's your fucking problem?"

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