Author retains all rights to this original work of fiction.

Tuesday, March 27th 10:06 PM
The kiss, the request to be kissed threw me off - at least until his lips met mine and our tongues began to dance. Tyler's hand at the back my neck was unexpected, aggressive, and made me feel like my knees were going to give out any second. I had goose bumps on goose bumps all up and down my arms. I could taste the alcohol on his breath and feel his want - which was mind blowing and a little bit of a shock. Not so shocking was being instantly drunk on my own desires, my own wants to be accepted for the woman I was becoming. It had been a very long time since I had been held, let alone kissed. And before it got too intense in the hallway - the kiss was over. I refused to open my eyes, trying to savor the few seconds we were connecting...

"I am sorry about earlier Brea," Tyler whispered in my ear before kissing my neck. The kiss caused me to shudder ever so slightly and I felt chilled, unsure of exactly what he'd just said, and tried to nuzzle in closer to where his lips were.

I could barely think, hold a coherent thought, and twisted my head ever so slightly when he kissed my neck a second time. With my eyes still shut I turned my face toward his and found his lips. This time the kiss was more desperate, more intense - I was seeking more, hungering for more, and he was giving me that which I desired. Every nerve throughout my body was in an overloaded state and when he leaned his body into mine, pulling me closer I couldn't help but moan softly.

When he pulled away, I chased his lips with mine to kiss him again. There was certainly more urgency in my want when our lips touched for the third time. He did not disappoint, he wanted what I wanted. His hand cupping the back of my neck had my head turned to best control our kiss - it was gentle, sexy, and demanded my submission - which I was all too happy to give to him.

When he pulled away, I opened my eyes, but could not look him in his eyes. "You want to invite me in?"

And with that ask the reality of the situation I was in became a fear inducing gut punch. I pulled back ever so slightly, running scenario after painful scenario through my mind as quickly as I could until I felt my stomach churn uncontrollably. I tried to reason his request with the fact he knew I was Trans - did that matter to him? Does he think I'm fully transitioned? What are his expectations of the incomplete woman standing before him? How far was I willing to...

"Brea... I'm not pressuring you for anything you aren't comfortable doing. I... I find you incredibly sexy and I would be kicking myself if I didn't at least try to see if you had similar feelings... I want you to know I respect who you are and..."

I held a finger to his lips, "Tyler... I, I am not all you see. And, I don't do casual... You know, hookups? I just... It's probably best if we..."

"Are you saying there's no attraction?"

That wasn't the reply I expected and jumped on it earnestly, "No, that's no... Not, what I said. You know, probably better than most having supported Dana through his transition, what I mean...," I sounded unsure of my point and still couldn't make eye contact with him. Jesus! Would I be kissing you if there wasn't an attraction?!

"Nothing about you is going to scare me off Brea... I'm sure of my sexuality and I know you may be struggling with portions of yours, but I know who you are on the inside and complete or not I would still be attracted to you... You know, the woman you are trying to be. I respect everything about who you are..."

There is rarely a moment in my transition that the dysphoria gorilla isn't jockeying for a better position on my back. Right now, with Tyler professing a want to be with me, in any capacity, that gorilla was beating its chest with one mighty hand while trying to choke me out with his other arm. Fuck! Fear was now ruling my choice to be myself, to give myself permission to fully be the woman I was inside. Fuck!

When I didn't answer he took my hands in his, "Look... I can see you're struggling with a lot right now. How about we call it a night and tomorrow we find some time to just chill, talk, see if we can carve out an environment that makes you feel comfortable and we see what happens. What do you think?"

I could feel the moment slipping away, his want, desire, all of it - fading... If we waited to over analyze it tomorrow for my benefit - it would be different, we would be in different places, the moment would be lost. Shit! I looked into his eyes, replaying his last statement in my mind, searching for an answer, searching for my truth, for his sincerity... No! And I stepped backwards into the slightly propped open door, pulling him with me into the darkened room, lit only by the light from the hallway.

When the door shut behind him, he pulled me to him in the dark, "No pressure Brea..." He leaned in to kiss my lips softly and I pulled him closer trying to get lost in a moment I didn't want to end.

Tuesday, March 27th 10:13 PM
In the darkness and quiet of the room, every movement seemed to be amplified. The rustling of my skirt against his slacks, my blouse, my breathing and how it was strained while kissing him. The thumping of my heart alone I swear could be heard as clearly as if someone were beating a drum in double time. Then there was the ringing buzz in my ears making me feel like I was going to pass out, dizzying. I felt like I was outside my body looking at us holding one another in the entryway. I wasn't prepared for this - want versus being able to walk the walk - no, I can't do this... What the hell was I thinking?! Obviously I wasn't or I wouldn't be in this predicament.

I could count the number of sexual encounters with men on four fingers and the number I had kissed was maybe seven. Only two of those encounters resulted in full-blown sex and between nerves, being unsure of what it was really going to be like, being put off by not being complete, and the raw lust by those men rushing to get their rocks off - those encounters were anything but pleasurable. Fuck the concept of pleasurable - it was painful, scary, and not something I was not interested in repeating. That really spoke to why I wasn't sexually experienced and sex had only happened twice. Sure, I could have put myself out there for the fetish junkies, but it wouldn't have moved me toward where I wanted to go.

When I thought about those two times I had had sex I thank God it was over quickly on both occasions. And all my experiences with men were over the course of the four years I had been transitioning for God's sake - so I wasn't even sure what I wanted from an intimate encounter. I haven't taken the training wheels off of my attempt to appreciate the female form my body was becoming... Yeah, I wasn't naive to what might be expected or what might be about to happen or even how to perform - but my confidence that I was anything like a CIS female was going to cripple Tyler's expectations. Was it too late to change my...

"You okay," Tyler asked.

I hesitated, "Yeah, just... This is very new for me, and I... Look, I'm not... I am still a ways from...," I had to stop speaking because what I was spewing was making me even more nervous and NOT doing anything for my confidence. Not to mention I didn't think I was making any sense - would he understand? My stomach rolled and I huffed a defeated sigh...

Tyler chuckled, "I'm good with just kicking back and watching TV or going for a walk or whatever you feel like Brea. Really, I just wanted to spend time with you... No expectations, I've got no demands... I just wanted to be with you... Do you want to just get comfortable, dial up a movie, and chill?"

Why? Why do you want to be with me? I'm not your typical woman. I've got all sorts of issues, hang ups, fears... Fuck!! Let that shit go God damn it! "Sure...," was all I could think to reply quietly in the dark of the room.

Tyler moved around me to the nightstand and clicked on a light. We both were squinting and I chuckled nervously - who knows why blinding light was the least bit funny to me at the moment. I watched him looking around the room until he found the remote for the TV. He picked it up and turned it on. I excused myself and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me - breathing a temporary sigh of relief.

OMG! - I thought staring at myself in the mirror. What the fuck are you doing?! This was probably a huge mistake. Tyler lived in Chicago! After this competition the likelihood of us furthering whatever this was would be slim. I shook my head - Fuck! Think... What is... Fuck! Slow down, slow down, you can handle this... Think...

What do you need to do first to feel more comfortable? Gaff - get the tape and gaff off... I hiked my skirt up, hooked my thumbs inside the waistband of the compression boy short panties, and slid them down until I could step out of them. Next - get the thong gaff off, which involved removing a couple strips of surgical tape - which was going to be slightly painful. Being aroused, while being tucked, did pose comfort issues a few moments ago - I had to do this. Gingerly I pulled the tape from the fabric of the gaff and then from the skin on the inside of my ass cheeks. The tape, while working as it should, did make for an uncomfortable removal process. Fuck! That does not feel good! I pulled the second strip off quickly - Shit! There would be red marks down there from the tape - was that going to matter? Would Tyler even get the opportunity to see where I had tape? Augh! Why was it so hard to transition, to be me?

Tape and thong gaff removed, I stared at the biggest source of my gender dysphoria in all its pathetic glory. I didn't play the CIS female shave your pussy bullshit game - mostly because of razor burn, but also because I didn't have someone in my life to impress with a sexy smooth crotch area. I did keep the area neatly trimmed so it wasn't a bushy forest and because I liked to wear a bikini on occasion. I brushed the pubic hair absently and felt a sickening feeling in my gut - yet again. I'm not ready for this... Augh!

Fuck it, nothing is going to happen tonight - we'll chill and watch TV. Put your big girl panties on and just go with the flow. I stepped into the compression boy shorts panties and adjusted that last bastion of male appendage to the side. I let my skirt fall back into place, brushed it smooth in the front, and there was just the slightest sign of my cock showing. I absolutely hated that I could see a small lump down there, but it would have to do... Move a little to the left you fucking dysphoria gorilla!

I checked my hair, fiddled with a few stray pieces, and picked up a blush applicator to smooth out the makeup on my cheeks. One last look - AUGH! What happened to coming back to your room, practicing for tomorrow, and going to bed?

Tuesday, March 27th 10:29 PM
When I came back into the room I purposely left the bathroom light on and pulled the door nearly closed. I clicked the nightstand lamp off and with the light from the bathroom and TV - the room was a bit more relaxing - forgiving of my flaws. It also made it harder to see the tiny lump peeking through the front of my skirt. Tyler was sitting at the foot of the bed scrolling through movie titles and looked over at me, "There she is... You look a bit more relaxed. All good?"

Had I been in the bathroom that long I wondered... "Yeah, I'm... I'll be fine...," and I joined him at the foot of the bed. I'm sure I was on the verge of shivering - nerves? Cold? Gorilla?

"Something you care to watch," he asked putting a hand on my thigh as he clicked the button on the remote to move the selections of movies on the screen.

I wasn't in the mood to watch a movie and doubted seriously I could make it through one without falling asleep. I put my hand on his and asked if there were any music channels. He exited to the main menu, found some music and without asking selected an adult hits channel, which put us in the middle of the Bruno Mars song 'Locked out of Heaven'. "How's that," he asked, while adjusting the volume to something akin to background noise.

"This song always makes me wanna dance...," I said smiling.

"I'll dance with you... Wanna," he asked shifting as if he were about to stand up and get 'jiggy wit it'.

"Nooo, no...," I squeezed his hand, "Maybe if I can get us in the club tomorrow night we can explore my pathetic dance moves. I do a great 'chained elephant'..."

There was confusion on his face, so I stood and stepped side to side to the rhythm of the Bruno Mars song. "Ah... That's one of my favorites dance steps," he said standing to join me in my attempt at being cute, funny.

When the song ended and another began he stepped towards me, taking my hips in his hands and we swayed to the beat of a song by the Arianna Grande I wasn't familiar with. The dancing lasted less than a couple seconds before we were kissing, bodies grinding seductively against each other, tongues seeking and finding pleasure. He pulled away and kissed my neck, which made me shudder ever so slightly. His arms were wrapped around me, with his hands positioned on my ass trying to pull me even closer - which would be physically impossible since our bodies were already nearly one.

Tyler took my earlobe in his lips and I couldn't help but to moan - louder than I expected, "You alright, I didn't hurt you did I," he asked concerned.

Was I 'alright'? Are you kidding me? I'm high on the sexual tension and you aren't helping matters by pushing every erogenous zone button I have above my shoulders - all while your hands on my ass are begging me to give myself to you completely. Am I 'alright'? I'm... He shifted and I felt something hard grind softly into my waist. I knew I was partially aroused and I was trying everything to keep him from feeling my that lump. I could certainly feel of his excitement down there and it felt substantial... In the end I didn't answer him, but found his lips and kissed him softly. He returned my efforts and the intensity of his tongue probing mine was mesmerizing.

I could feel his hands pulling my skirt up towards my waist and before I could protest his hands were on my ass, sliding happily over my panties. He was exploring for his own pleasure and certainly giving me more of a rise than he probably realized. He squeezed my ass softly and tried to pull me closer, causing me to grind his manhood firmly now into my midriff...

HRT had dulled my ability to get aroused at the drop of a hat like when I was a teenager. What was happening to me right now was proving my male parts still had some life left in them. As embarrassing and dysphoric as seeing that part of me was daily - there was no denying Tyler had me spun up right now. It had been at least three, maybe four months since I had been worked up enough mentally, through watching porn, to have a mildly pathetic erection. Try as I might I couldn't bring myself to cum - though I worked at it pretty hard and eventually gave up in disgust.

My ability to get aroused required a lot of mental gymnastics - which Tyler would be getting a "10" from the judges at this rate. Hormones were amazing - but did nothing significant for that area between my legs except for leaving it mostly a dormant shell of its once small glorious self. I wondered if after SRS / GRS I would be able to orgasm or even enjoy sex. Many women said it was possible, but really involved being in the right mental frame of mind. Pretty sure I was half way there with being able to get the mental side of the coin dialed in. I'd have to wait a while longer to prove out the orgasm quest after surgery.

My skirt dropping back in place snapped my mind back into the present - to Tyler pulling my blouse from being tucked inside my skirt. He stood back looking for my reaction and I obliged by getting my hands on his belt and after a little struggling got it undone. He tried his best to undo the buttons on my blouse, while not interrupting my efforts. I didn't want to think about what was happening, to fear what was happening, so I just concentrated on undoing his belt, the button on his dress slacks, and getting the zipper down. I pushed his pants down aggressively as he gave up on the buttons and was coaxing my blouse over my head. I raised my arms and wiggled out of the silky blouse as he pulled it up, over, and off - he tossed it absently toward the chair in the corner. I tried absently to do something about how he'd just mussed up of my hair - fuck it - focus Brea, focus...

For some reason we were both smiling at each other. Tyler with pants at his ankles and me in just my bra and skirt. We weren't being shy about fully taking in each other, he ran a hand over my chest, hooking a finger inside one of the cups and passing over an aroused nipple. I did something similar to the stiff cock stretching the fabric of his athletic cut boxer shorts. He put a hand on my shoulder and I watched him pry his feet from his slip-on loafers, then stepping out of his slacks while balancing himself against me. He scooped up his pants and they went flying through the air towards my blouse. I reached out for his button-down shirt and got the first couple buttons undone, but he wanted to move this show along and ended up pulling it off over his head saving me from the tedious job of unbuttoning every button.

I was dreading shedding my skirt, but at this point the vibe between us was keeping my demons at bay. I made the move, before he could, and reached around back to unzip my skirt, stepped out of it, and because it was kind of 'our thing' right now - I tossed my skirt toward the chair. It unfortunately went in a higher arch than expected. It careened along the ceiling and feel short. Tyler looked back at where it landed, then back at me, "You're not much of a hoopster, eh?"

I shrugged, in the dim light of the room and dark blue glare from the TV screen, "I'm not much of a sports kind of person. I like to watch almost any sport - I have never been too athletically inclined..."

He stepped in closer, "Ah, this body says differently... You must do something."

"I mountain bike a little, but really, I'm a couch potato... Good genes maybe?"

His hand were at my shoulders, then at my hips, "You're pretty cute, you know that..."

If the lighting was better he would see my face was flush, I turned away just in case he could see my beet-red face, "Yeah... I doubt that...," I replied sheepishly.

He cupped my chin with his hand, turned my face back toward his, then leaned in to kiss me. Our bodies moved together and his excitement felt so much more pronounced. I wrapped my arms around his waist and without thinking gently squeezed a toned, muscular ass. He pulled away and looked at me with a little smirk on his face while squeezing my ass.

"Mmmuh... Very cute...," I said as his hands moved to from my ass to my bra strap and he quickly undid the clasp. I panicked and brought my arms to my chest between us. Four years of HRT did nothing for the development of my breasts. My doctor said the A-and-a-half cup size, a stretch I think, was all my 36" chest would likely ever have. My options - if I ever became independently wealthy and cared to fix my current lack of having breasts - was to get implants. Until then, having nearly nothing to show on my chest was a trigger for a dark ride and a lot of self-loathing. Augh...

"Whoa... You alright," Tyler asked with genuine concern.

"Yeah, I'm...," I stopped mid-sentence. How do I explain the need to wear a larger cup size and an overly padded bra just to have... To present as more feminine?

"Look," he began, while gently sliding the bra straps from my shoulder, "We're nearly naked, it's no big deal... Here," he stepped back a half step, and pulled his boxers down - stepping out of them - then swayed his hips left and right playfully. This of course caused his erect cock to slap his body and I couldn't help but chuckle. "See...," he said laughing, "I'm free! Free, I tell ya!"

OMG! I lost it and couldn't help but laugh even harder... He was being silly, vulnerable, and... I slowly let my bra slide down my arms and off - tossing it toward the 'chair of clothes', this time my throw was on target.

"Very nice...," he said reaching out to trace the edges of my left breast, then totally palming my right. He squeezed gently and I thought I was going to fall over. When he leaned in to take my swollen nipple in his mouth I moaned and ran a hand through his hair... OM-F'n-GOD!

I sucked in a slow breath slowly, deliberately strained. His hand was warm, but the sensation of someone other than myself touching my breasts was electrifying. His mouth on my nipple - no way I could describe what that was doing to me. I tingled all over and tried to close the distance between us. He licked my tit a last time and wrapped his arms around me - our chest becoming one. I could barely breathe...

When he hugged me tighter, his cock rubbed my mid-riff, and it was my turn to touch him. I reached between us and grabbed hold of his cock. He stiffened ever so slightly. I traced a finger over the swollen bulbous head of his cock - there was pre-cum and it made my finger tip slip and slide over it. That made him move his hips, pushing his cock through my grip until the shaft was...

I let my grip slip away and moved my hands up to Tyler's chest, pushing him backwards gently so he had to sit on the edge of the bed or fall over the corner of it. He complied with just a hint of confusion on his face. I'm sure the overly serious look on my face, in the dim light of the room, had him wondering what had come over me. Fuck my fears! I was going to take advantage of this opportunity for all it's worth.

I moved between his legs as he sat and with a bit more force pushed him back onto the bed so he was laying with his legs hanging over the edge. I thought about climbing onto the bed and straddling his body, but his cock was the target of my attention - as much as being on top of him and kissing him was also a desire. I watched him watching my every move and as I drug my nails lightly along the inside of his thighs towards his balls - I could tell he was barely breathing. When my hands cupped them, he squirmed slightly, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay... You, you... You have my attention...," he said smiling back at me.

"I think I had," I took his cock in one hand while gently tracing a finger around his crotch and pubic hair, "Your attention long before our clothes went flying toward the chair...," I replied softly.

He bucked a little when my finger slid through his precum again, he moved his hand to mine holding his cock, "Mmmugh... And every action has a reaction, so when it's my turn I will show you the same merc..." I leaned over quickly, parted my lips, and enveloped the engorged head of his cock before he could finish his thought.

He was talking too much and I had his beautiful cock in my hand and I had a want... A want to wrap my lips around it. Tyler gasped, "Oooh... Oh, fuck...," and whatever thought he had about turns or mercy or whatever were now lost as my lips rode just the head of his cock. I could barely breathe... Was I really doing this?!

Gone was his hand on mine, only to be replaced with him trying to gyrate his hips so as to push those six, maybe seven inches of heavenly cock further into my mouth. He began to babble, "Oooh fuck...," then, "Breee, ah, ah...," and, "God, that feels..."

I was sucking just the head of his cock, swirling my tongue over the tip - probing where his seed would eventually gush, licking it, and occasionally I would slurp loudly - just to fuck with him. My saliva coated his shaft and my hand began to slide easily down it when he would buck or try to thrust in an attempt to get more than the head of his cock inside of my mouth. It was a struggle, but one I was enjoying more than I could have ever imagined. He seemed to be enjoying himself - which buoyed my confidence.

When I thought I had played with him long enough I moved my lips slowly toward where my hand had a firm grasp at the base of his cock. That got me a few strains breathes through clenched teeth and a, "Auh... aaah... Brea..."

Something clicked in my brain, I lost control, lost my want to take things slow and to torture, frustrate him sexually. I began bobbing my head up and down his shaft quicker. Pulling on his shaft on the retreat to his swollen and throbbing head, pulling the skin tight when my lips traveled down to my waiting hand at the base of his cock. My lips smacking, slurping when the head of his cock slipped from my mouth. He tried to sit up, but flopped back down on the bed as soon as my face dove down his shaft quickly.

I moaned as I reengaged and got my lips to my hand again. He whimpered, then arched his back, trying to push his cock even further into my mouth. When I had as much of his cock in my mouth as I felt comfortable with, I constricted my throat and used my tongue to squeeze his head and shaft. I'd never done that before, that I can remember, but it seemed natural and his response was a pleasingly loud moan. I was almost to gag depth on his cock - but I had this, I had control. OM-F'n-G! This was so amaz...

Without warning Tyler pulled his knees even with my head and somehow got his legs over my shoulders, locking my head between muscular thighs. At first I thought he was just being cute, showing me he was flexible or something - but what he'd done was trapped his cock in my mouth. My concentration was instantly shot and I panicked. I moved my hands to his legs, which was a mistake because without my hand at the base of his cock he was able to pull my face even further onto his cock. I gagged and coughed when that happened, clawing at his legs while groaning, gurgling air and saliva in a fully stuffed mouth...

I was panicking, scared! I sucked air in a heavy gulp through my nose, trying to turn my head against his muscular thighs that weren't forgiving or showing me any mercy. I couldn't free myself. He placed his hands on the back of my head - as if I weren't trap already between his legs - and tried pushing my head further onto his cock even more! I tried to stand, but couldn't. I couldn't even lean into him to get some sort of leverage to remove his legs from around my neck and head.

What the fuck are you doing?! I can't take anymore of you in my mouth without gagging or puking... Fuck! I wanted to be free of being trapped like this and I pushed hard on his legs again as a desperate muffled cry escaped my fully opened mouth - totally stuff full of his cock. I was drooling saliva like crazy, squirming, trying to pull away, and trying to push his legs over my head... Nothing was working! I can't breathe...

I coughed and felt him flex his cock in my mouth a few times - I could feel it expand slightly at the back of my throat. What the hell?! Not cool! My neck was hurting, my lips were smashed against the base of his cock... Fuck! He was hurting me - didn't he know?! "Oiueeeh...," I tried to cry out, "Eiiier...," I tried to call out his name in vain. Did he not hear me?! I was hyperventilating... Fear... I can't breathe...

I slapped my palm against his leg twice and there was the slightest hint of relief from being choked out. He slowly eased his leg lock on my trapped head after that, but before I could escape I felt him reach between his legs, hook his hands beneath my armpits, and in one motion he pulled me on top of him. I coughed violently, chest heaving, and then coughed a few more times... "Whaaa...," I couldn't speak and tried to regain some manner of normal breathing, but just collapsed on him. My face was smeared with saliva, it was in my hair, and my hair was a complete mess, plastered to my face. I tried to rub my face off on his chest, while dragging strands of hair from my mouth... I felt dizzy, disoriented...

His hands dropped to my hips and without warning the room flipped upside down before I knew what was happening. He had rolled us over and was now standing over me - where I had been kneeling between his legs moments ago at the foot of the bed. Everything was moving so quickly and I was sure I probably blacked out, maybe just for a fraction of a second. I tried to shake the fog from my head...

"You might have been a little scared but," he hooked his fingers at the waist band of my panties and pulled them down to my knees before I realized what was happening. Gravity made them drop to my ankles, since my legs were now dangling over the edge of the bed. He was looking at my nearly fully engorged cock, "This says maybe that wasn't so bad...," he fingered the tip of my little male appendage.

Shit! My panties were now hanging at my ankles! Why didn't I stop him! Now I truly felt like I was outside of my body watching him standing over me. He moved a hand around my cock, which dwarfed the skinny four inch appendage I loathed. I wondered - How is this happening right now? What was going to happen? The answer came quickly when his hand moved over the head of my cock dripping with pre-cum, "Brea, I fucking want you...," he stated as if there would be confusion on my part.

Huh? You want to fuck me? Had I heard him correctly? I trembled as his fingers played in the slippery liquid that coated the tip of my cock... This kind of thing hadn't happened since I was in my teens, long before HRT. How could it have gotten so slippery... Tyler stepped back, reached between my legs, pushed my thighs toward my chest, and got down on his knees at the foot of the bed. I cried out louder than I meant too when his tongue licked the tight rosebud opening below my tiny balls, "Ahhhhh! Hey... Hey... Whhaaaait...," he didn't stop or didn't hear me. How is that possible?! Is this what I wanted to happen?

The backs of my heels were now firmly on his shoulders, he had my cock in his hand, and his tongue flicked and probed my ass relentlessly. FUCK! I couldn't help but squirm, buck uncontrollably , moan, and even grab handfuls of the comforter... I tried to take his head in my hands at some point, but he pushed them away. FUCK ME! He squeezed the head of my cock and I yipped a startled cry - but it didn't faze him and he just move on with his assault on my sex as if I was encouraging him. "Ttty.... Tyler...," I pleaded.

His reply was a deep moan as his tongue entered my ass. I arched my back uncontrollably and barked, "Fuck!" He didn't slow down, it was like I was encouraging him. I could feel a building pressure long lost - but not forgotten - as he massaged his hand up and down my shaft. "No... I... Wait, wait... Ty... Waaa..." No acknowledgment... That familiar sensation was clicking into place, faster than I expected. His hand sliding up and down my shaft, tightening balls, his tongue licking my ass... I was going to... Oh shit! "Oh... Fuck! Auh! No... Aiiee...," I cried out, "I'm caaan't... Fucking shit... AHHAHHH! Tyler..."

And there was a final push of his tongue in my ass as I shot a load of cum all over my belly. The first spurt was powerful and I floundered, twisted, and tried to ride it out, but it was too intense. I had to cup my hands over his to get him to slow down his pumping my cock and to get him to stop. There was a second less intense involuntary spurt of cum, then a weaker third one... I could feel the dribbling of cum at the tip of a waning cock. My hands, his hands, were a sticky messes, and every movement sent a jolt through my body. I sucked in a heavy breath and exhaled through pursed lips. Oh fuck! OH FUCK! What just happened?! My body went limp...

I lay there in the glow of post sex numbness, trying to make sense of what had just happened, and trying to reason how pleasurable it was. I was spent, so please, please don't touch me I thought... When I finally opened my eyes, Tyler looked pretty pleased about what he'd just accomplished. I, I didn't want to think about it too much or the dysphoria gorilla would be happy to piss all over me. I tried to smile when we made eye contact, but shook my head, covering my eyes with my forearm. Somewhere in all that had just happened I'm positive I had an out of body experience and my DNA cells split or morphed. I had never had an orgasm like...

I felt Tyler's hand move over my stomach. I peeked beneath my arm to see what he was doing. He was gathering the sticky cum I'd just ejaculated all over my stomach. I was confused. What the hell are you doing? When he moved the sticky cum from his fingers to my ass, rubbing the cum liberally around and slowly pushing his fingertip inside of me - it was became obvious what he was doing. I gave him a look, full of concern, maybe laced with fear. When he was done gather the cum from my stomach, he looking down at me as if looking for my approval or to see if there was an objection to what was about to happen. I was still trying to come down off of an orgasmic high and he was already shifting gears. I needed to say...

"Relax...," he said, pushing two finger tips slowly inside of me, "Push against my fingers... Relax," he said.

Relax? Are you fucking kidding? I tightened the muscles down there and tried to push as requested. It helped, but was still not exactly comfortable - it was kind of arousing though... He was in his thinking that sex could be on the agenda tonight? I watched him spit in his hand and rub it over his cock, then he applied some of his saliva to my ass. Was I really going to just lay here and let him fuck me? With No condom?! Wait... He had a condom on - it was light-pink in color - what the hell? "Where did that come from," I asked.

"I've had it in my hand since I took my pants off. You didn't notice?"

"No... I was a bit preoccupied with, like a thousand other things..."

"Yeah, I could see where you might have been lost in a few other sensations... I was too," he said with a wolfish grin.

You think?! I watched him loop his arms behind my knees and lift / pulled me more towards the edge of the bed. OMG! Was this really going to happen? Is this what I wanted? I watched him switch his hold on my legs, take his cock in his hand, and rub it over my tight, but fairly lubed rosebud opening...

"Relax and push...," and when he had himself lined up where he wanted he tried to slowly pushed his cock's head inside of me. I was holding my breath, trying to push against his insertion attempt, trying to relax... "Breathe Brea...," he encouraged.

All I heard was 'Brea...' My eyes closed and rolled back in my head, face straining, there was pain... Ears ringing - more pain, then a moment of relief... I moved a hand toward my ass cheek, trying to spread a muscle that ached, but wasn't remotely involved with what was happening... Fuck! It hurts...

"Keep your knees together... Breathe...," he paused, "Puuush...," he said softly.

I moaned, it hurt, there was a lot of pressure, but it was hurting less when my knees were together... Fuck! How did we get to this... I felt my body bounce toward the headboard with a slight jolt, then I was pulled slightly back toward the edge of the bed. What the hell? I opened my eyes and looked up at Tyler.

"You...," he said with a hint of strain in his voice, "Okay?"

When I looked down his hips were firmly against my ass. OH FUCK! I huffed a few heavy breaths... He was fully inside of me! I put a hand on his stomach and pushed him back slowly. He did as I wanted, but he had no intention of pulling out and with just the head of his cock still inside of me he pushed forward slowly. I tried to relax every muscle, but it wasn't helping - but it wasn't hurting as much either. Wait, it hurts!

He smiled looking down at me, "Oh my God, you... You feel incredible..."

There was more pain, pressure, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd experienced in the past. Was he smaller than those other men? No, pretty sure he was bigger... My mind was being tugged in too many directions. Pain... "Slooo... Slower...," I whined and he rocked forward and back into me. The difference between him and those others two guys I had been with - he wasn't in a hurry to get his rocks off. He seemed content to prolonging the inevitable, his cumming, by making the experience somewhat tolerable for me. Fuck!

Tyler obliged, slowing his thrusts into me, while maintaining a neutral angle of attack... "Brea...," he whispered, pulling back quickly and gliding slowly back in until he was completely inside of me.

"Uaha...," I tried to reply.

"Fuck..."

"Yes...," I absently croaked, as my body was swaying back and forth on the bed ever so slightly as he pumped his cock in and out of me. How did this happen?! He stopped and I looked between my legs - OMG - he was fully inside of me! Tyler leaned forward and pinched the swollen nipple of my right breast playfully, I groaned a little and moved my hand to his, "That hurts... Not so hard..."

"Sorry...," he replied quietly. He palmed both my breasts, holding them firmly while gyrating his hips a couple inches back, and then pushing all seven inches of his cock inside of me with a little more force...

FUCK! There was no denying the pain had leveled off, but it was still there and when he was completely inside of me - it was fifty-percent pleasure, fifty-percent painful, and one-hundred-percent satisfying. I was still in shock that this was happening and, well - this WAS happening! I noticed Tyler had his closed his eyes. His facial expression said he was getting lost in his own pleasures.

The rocking of his hips and his cock in and out - varied. Slow to get deeper - his body firmly against mine and then quick to pull that bulbous head of his cock toward the exit - which caused me all kinds of pleasure inducing shudders and jolts of my body. When his hand gave up my breasts - they found a place to rest on my thighs. He picked up the pace, which increased the pain, but also the pleasure and satisfaction I was getting. I tried to move my body in unison with his every thrust, but things were speeding up and the first time our bodies colliding with force - there was a slapping noise. I grunted against the thrust and huffed out a breathe through clenched teeth. Fuck! He pulled back quick, then a faster thrust - Fuck! Another slap of his hips against my ass, louder, more pronounced. Ahhh... Ouch, ouch - that hurts!

He was in his own zone and I was beginning to feel like I was merely along for the ride - my pleasure was an afterthought. His pace picked up - way faster than I expected. I put my hands on his, but instead of reading that as me trying to say, 'Hey, take it easy!', he took it as something different. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me so my back was just barely off the mattress. My head flung back as the piston like plunging into my ass began - at a crazy speed now. I began to moan loudly, "Aaah... Aug... Aaah..." I could barely breathe... My head was rocking back and forth in unison with his thrusts. Pain... Pleasure... Gratification... The sound of his body slamming into mine. Pain...

"Oh fuck...," Tyler whispered as he slowed to a stop, letting me fall back onto the bed after releasing my wrists.

We were both huffing like we'd just sprinted down the hallway from the elevator or something. He caressed my legs and slowly pulled completely out. That hurt, but there was instant relief also. Had he cum and I didn't realize it? I looked at him, questioning what was going on. He dribbled more spit into hand, spread it over his cock, and slid the tip of his cock back inside of me... I blew out a strained breath, then squirmed when he pulled himself out again. He repeat that act a few more times - until I couldn't take it anymore and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into me, not allowing him to pull out.

"Aaah...," he moaned quietly.

He tried to pull back, but I was holding him inside of me with my legs. He was looking at me, no doubt wondering what I was thinking - while I was doing the same, "You okay," I asked.

"Are you kidding?"

Hearing that was a boost to my psyche and I let my legs release their grip about his waist. Tyler began moving slowly out, not totally, and rammed himself into me with such force it made me choke on the breath I was taking. Holy fuck! I cringed... He pulled back quickly, then hammered himself in fully - jolting my body fully, violently. He quickly pulled out and rammed himself back inside, our bodies slapping together loudly above the background music from the TV. Out, back in, partially pulling back, grinding back to the base of his cock - making me squirm . I could feel his balls slapping against me as my body rocked and shook o the bed.

Tyler placed his hands back on my thighs and it became obvious he was making his final stand. The pace was quickening, the depth at which he was forcing his cock into me was dizzying, and his breathing was full of huffs and strained heaves of his chest. He was pounding my ass for... Pain! Pain! His hands were clamping my thighs too tightly and I had to pull them off - which took great effort. That act didn't slow his gyrations, but I knew he had to be close, "Fuck...," I half-moaned.

He slammed into me twice so I hard I couldn't help but cry out. In, deep, grinding, quickly out and completely out... Repeat... There was no way I could control what was happening and I was trying to soak up all the pleasure I could, while beaming that he was as lost in the pleasures as I was. "Aaaaa! Oh, fuck...," he cried out thrusting quickly in...

And through the numb and assaulted nerves around my ass, I felt a brief sensation I hadn't expected to feel. He was cumming! I could feel his cock pulsing, surging... Oh, fuck me! He rammed his cock into me for all he could two, three times, and swayed his hips slightly while riding out his orgasm. He grunted, then slowed to a stop.

"Tyler...," I whispered. That got me a quick flex of his cock still inside of me and a slow, sensually slow, deep drives into me. I couldn't help but feel like I had conquered something I would never have thought I could... Surreal... Mind completely blown!

Tyler waited a good minutes before pulling his waning cock from inside of me. I think we both sighed in unison when he was completely out. I watched him remove the condom and climb onto the bed, laying back as I was with his legs over the edge of the bed. He took my hand, "That was... I'm serious, that was amazing...," he said softly.

So many emotions were flowing inside of me I wasn't sure I could even speak without breaking down and crying. What the hell?! I squeezed his hand, "Thank you... That truly was amazing, special...," I replied closing my eyes. I wondered if he truly realized how much this night meant to me, validated a portion of my transition I feared constantly - never being wanted by anyone...

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AUTHORS NOTE: Thank you for reading my story, for the comments left or sent to me directly, and all the "Likes". I try to answer each post / message in a timely manner, but I want to let you know I'm going on vacation for the next 9 days - sunny Mexico here I come! I will try to check in while away - but don't count on it. I will pick up where I left off in this story when I return. Thanks again for tagging along!

XOXO

Rachel