“I just want to start by saying that this is confidential. I trust you, but i need to make sure. I crossdress. I have been since the summer going into 8th grade (possibly a bit earlier). Before that, I don’t even know how long i’ve been curious about it. I just did it one day when i was alone. I didn’t know what to expect, and what I found was that I enjoyed it a lot. It just makes me feel good about myself, though i really can't place why. I really hope that you can be understanding”

I finished reading over the note. “Is it good enough?” I ask myself. It probably isn’t, but I doubt it will ever be. I have no idea how this will go down. Is it even worth it? I turn off my lights and get into bed, pondering.

That night, I had a dream; a dream of what could happen if it went well.

I woke up in the dream at 10. I could smell breakfast. My sister had just come home from college the night before: summer vacation had begun. I was almost there, but just had one final left -- thankfully the only one I couldn’t study for. I entered the kitchen, finding my mom at the stove cooking pancakes and my sister sitting nearby at the table. “Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Juliette!” I walked over to my sister and we gave each other a big hug.

“I’ve missed you a lot, Danny,” she said to me, just as she had the night before.

“I’ve missed you a lot too,” I responded. We began to talk, catching up on our years. Even though we tried to talk to each other as much as possible, we still had so much to talk about. Eventually, our Mom joined us, along with a plate of hot blueberry pancakes. We each took a stack, and began to eat. “These pancakes are really good, Mom!” I said. Juliette nodded her head in agreement, chewing on a piece.

After a long and enjoyable breakfast, Mom said, “You two should go out and spend the day together, We’ll spend more time together tonight, when your father is home.” I went to get dressed, and so did Juliette. My clothes were getting a bit ratty, but I made sure to emphasize it. On the way out, I stuck the note in my back pocket. We walked outside, heading to the car.

“What do you want to do?” Juliette asked. I pretended I didn’t know, and told her that I would do pretty much anything, banking on her fashion sense to notice my clothing. Thankfully, she did. “Why don’t we go to the mall? You clearly need some new clothing, we can also see a movie later.”

“That sounds great.” I responded, excited yet nervous on the inside. Juliette started the car and pulled out of the driveway. She handed me her phone, and told me to put music on. I looked through her spotify, and eventually chose a playlist. “I Wish” by Stevie Wonder started playing, and we both started singing along. The rest of the car ride was more singing and talking. I was enjoying myself so much that my mind was taken off the urgent, calming me. We finally pulled into the parking lot, and parked. I knew it was now or never, and so I pulled the note out of my pocket and handed it to her.

“I want you to read this,’’ I said.

End Chapter 1