Finding Julia
By Julie Dawn Cole

“Sorry but you can’t come in.”
I was taken aback. We had arrived a few hours earlier to this nice hotel in Rhodes and we were really impressed so far. This was our first meal and we were celebrating the anniversary of our engagement one year ago and had had a few drinks in the lounge as part of our all-inclusive package. I guess I was a little bit excitable after two cocktails and a beer and I wasn’t happy to be told we weren’t allowed in the restaurant. We had saved ourselves all day for this dinner. It was my responsibility to sort this out to save our relationship that had been waning recently. Eve and I weren’t as active as we used to be between the sheets. Our wedding day was on hold.

I couldn’t contain myself any longer. “Why? What’s wrong with us? We are residents and we have the all-inclusive package that includes dinner. I could feel myself getting angry and my girlfriend Eve had to pull on my arm.

“Sorry just stand aside please whilst these guests come through to their table. I’ll deal with you two in a minute.”
That just made things even worse. She spoke to us as if we were children and she was looking down her nose at me. I suppose it wasn’t too difficult since she was taller than both of us and her high heeled shoes were like stilts. I was used to being a squirt around the guys but never got used to having to look up to women. It was demeaning. I avoided them as much as possible at school and in college. Girls seemed to ignore me until Eve came along. I guess she had made the first move and cornered me and before I knew we were on the dance floor in bare feet. She had stepped down to my level to make me feel more comfortable and didn’t mind my initial shyness. She still had a way of making me feel tall but I wasn’t feeling so tall at the moment.

“Calm down Julian. She is just doing her job. We have a table booked so just show her our room card and she can check with reception.”
I looked up and smiled. At least she calm about it. Then the woman on stilts came over to us. I was getting in first before she got too close.
“Look lady, we booked a table here is our room number. We are all-inclusive. I reserved a table on arrival for 7pm.” I hoped Eve would be proud of me but she was frowning.

“That’s not the problem so you have to understand it’s compliance with house rules. I can’t let you in I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean and no need to say sorry we are guests and we checked in earlier today. We’ve been in the bar having a drink and they served us OK. We are old enough. So what’s your problem since we were looking forward to a nice romantic dinner? Just let us in. I booked a table on the balcony with a sea view.”

“Sorry sir you can’t.”

I was reacting badly again. “Look get the manager this is ridiculous.”
“I am the Manager Sir, I’m the Restaurant Manager. There is nobody higher.”
I mumbled under my breath “You can say that again.”

She must have heard me. “No need to be rude sir. You can’t come in dressed like that. It is a house rule. Men must be dressed appropriately and shorts and beach shoes are not appropriate. We have standards to meet.”
“But I’m on vacation and so are my legs and feet. I don’t get chance to wear shorts at home. Especially this time of year.”
“Sorry sir, the lady is fine but you need to go change.”

“Look please I can’t change I only have shorts. I’m on vacation.”

“Well I suggest you dine in your room unless you go along to Rhodes town and you’ll find the shops are still open. The restaurant closes at 9-30pm so you might have time to get there and back”

“No way this is getting even more ridiculous. It’s plain stupid. I’m not wasting my money on taxi fares and trousers I don’t want to wear. Didn’t you get it? My legs and feet are on vacation.”

She didn’t react she just turned to attend to more guests who were arriving. Eve pushed me onto a seat in the corner to calm me down again.
“Leave it Julian you are only making things worse. You don’t need to be rude. Stay here and let me go have a quiet word.”
I felt so angry I didn’t think I could calm down. Eve and the lady had a chat and at least Eve had made her smile as they kept looking over to me. Eve came back and took my hand to pull me up. “Come on squirt I found a solution. If we hurry up she’ll hold our table.”
We headed to the lift and then back to our room.

“What’s her problem? Has she changed her mind?”

“No. As she explained it’s your shorts.”

“Yes I know, that’s just her being a bitch. There’s nothing wrong with them. These are new. They are my best pair. These cost me big time. There’s nothing wrong with them.”

“No nothing except you have bare legs and men’s hairy legs put people off their dinner. Especially if they have varicose veins or knobbly knees.”

“ Thanks very much but my legs aren’t hairy and they are tanned. I keep myself in trim on the stepper as you know. “

“Yes I agree. Are you sure you don’t shave or wax them? They are so smooth. You might be short but your legs are long. All the way up to your chunky little butt. Not bad at all.”

“ So why was I refused entry it’s just prejudice. Reverse prejudice. Women are allowed to go to dinner in mini skirts, shorts or cropped trousers. Anything goes. Men can get upset too you know.”

“ Yes I know. Especially you. Anyway during the day shorts are fine in the restaurant for both sexes but in the evening for dinner it’s their rules. You’re just the wrong sex for dining I’m afraid my love.”

“ No I’m the right sex for anything including dinner. I’m just too short and easy to bully. I’m always at a disadvantage. Bigger guys would have gotten in I bet.”

“ Probably too sweetheart but no point fighting her. We need a solution for tonight and to be fair to her she tried to help. She gave me an idea.”

“What sort of idea?”

“She said she thought we were two girlfriends at first and almost let us through to our table.. Then she looked more closely because your hair is not so long but it’s your chinny chin chin sprouts. Your poor attempt at a beard. I can almost count the number of hairs and give them each a name.”

“ Eve don’t. It makes me more mature. Doesn’t it?”

“No and I’ve told you it’s a menace and puts me off when you kiss me. Upstairs and downstairs.”

“Oh you never said before and anyway they are soft. Do you want me to shave it off?”

.”Yes do it now and then let me tidy you up a bit so we can get in. We’re losing time.”

“How so? What do you mean? Why don’t you call the front desk you’ve been here before on vacation.”

“ Hurry up and just leave it to me. Come on we’re wasting time.”

When I finished I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked the image of my mother and sister. No sign of my father in me at all. It had taken me 10 weeks to grow my beard and I’d had to use one of Eves ladyshave razors. She used them to keep trim below and had insisted to give me a trim before our vacation so at least he was visible. I even did my under arms to please her. As I re-entered the bedroom Eve had opened my case and emptied the contents onto the bed.

“See there’s the problem. We travelled with one suitcase each. I travel light and you half-filled my case with your gear. It’s a good job I wasn’t stopped at security with all that underwear and your beach gear and all those shoes. How many pairs of shoes can you wear on vacation? We are only here 7 nights.”

“Shut up and sit down and let me show you the plan. We just need to fix you up a bit and make you more gender neutral.”

“What difference will that make? I’m a guy and your fiancé to boot. Look at my muscles?”

“Ok superman but not exactly proof. Look at mine.”

I sat down as instructed. Eve had just as much muscle definition as me and she was an inch or so taller. Well 35mm to be exact. She took out a plastic bag from my suitcase and unsealed it.

“What’s that?”

“These are hair extensions my sweet. They should do the trick. I guess I can spare them since it’s in a good cause.”

I had to humour her I suppose but eventually she became so excited she had to turn me around to look in the mirror.

“There you are Julia. You shall go to the ball.”

I was a bit taken aback and slightly embarrassed for Eve to see me like this. I’d tried my sister’s wigs before and even done the make-up bit that she’d recorded and threatened to post on You Tube a few times as a joke so I knew the girl in the mirror. But Eve had never met her.
She came back with a brush and her make-up bag. “You see she was right. If you looked a bit more feminine she’d let you in.”

“What about the shorts?”

“ It’s a rule for men not women. Shorts are OK for us since it gives the guys a thrill. You’ve got the legs so how about we fix your face and fill you out a bit.'

Within 10 minutes she’d finished. The bra fitted and was filled with tissues. I wasn’t as big as Eve but she felt that I was in proportion and anyway if they were bigger they may get in the way since I wasn’t used to them. I was a little disappointed but I played along.

“Come on let’s change your shorts and put some proper undies on. Here try this thong to hold you tight below. Not that there’s much to pull back. You better not get excited or you’re in trouble. And use a tissue if you visit the bathroom.”

She handed me a pair of her shorts that were cut a bit differently and made opposite hand with the zipper for some reason. I wonder if men have left hand zippers to leave the right hand free to Free Willie.

“You are amazing. We should try this again sometime but for now you just need a bag and some shoes. Here try these wedges that should fit you and be easy to walk in.”

I ended up with a small shoulder bag to hold my wallet and i-phone. Eve popped some other things in and helped me into her wedge sandals.

“There you are another problem solved. You can almost look her in the eye now and I don’t have to worry about wearing my kitten heels. Come on Jules let’s get back to the restaurant before she lets our table go “

So by the time I’d walked the corridor to the lift I’d mastered the wedges with a bit of guidance from Eve. She stopped twice to take snapshots. I didn’t look gender neutral I’d moved beyond neutral to the other side. It gave me a wonderful feeling in my tum just like the first cocktail had done.

As we left the lift in the restaurant foyer Eve insisted that she sprayed a little fragrance on me. I tried to waft it away but it seemed to disappear and then cling to me. It was intoxicating and Eve felt it was the final touch to her handiwork to guarantee entry. It was true.

“Good evening ladies. Do you have a tabled booked? Ah yes of course you came down earlier didn’t you? It’s Eve isn’t it. Who’s this?”

“ This is my girlfriend Julia. We are celebrating and booked a table on the balcony.”

“Of course you did ladies. Everything is waiting together with a complementary bottle of sparkling wine on me. I apologise for mistaking your girlfriend as a boy.”

We were escorted to our table by Angel. He let it be known he was attracted and commented on the fragrance. Eve just smiled and whispered in my ear.

“Mmm what a nice little butt. I think we may have some fun later so let’s eat light with not so heavy on the garlic. We’ll pop back to the bar after dinner for a nightcap and then maybe we might try a nightie-cap to make this a night to remember. Are you up for it? ”

“Not quite but I’m sure some oysters will help.”

“We don’t need oysters Julia my love. I’m hot already and I’ve brought my friend along in case together with batteries but I don’t think we’ll need him this vacation with a bit of luck.”

Now I was feeling hot but shivering at the same time. Was this Eve’s plan all along?