My name is Prince Hans The Great. I've always been great. Everything I want, I get. Whether it be by hook or by crook. Nobody makes a fool out of me and lives to tell the tale. That was until I met a young lady by the name of Felicia Belphere Metrune. Purge be her evil existence! Felicia's Second Life Side Story #2 The Prince's Forgotten Night Corresponds to Chapter 8, Volume 1 By Shinieris

[Please take note that this story is told from Prince Hans's POV]

"Lady Felicia Belphere Metrune thanks Prince Hans, Lord of Lytis for granting me another audience," she said with a curtsey.

"Always a pleasure, Lady Metrune. Carlton, please give the lady a chair," I said to my loyal knight Carlton, who had been with me for the past 15 years.

Yes, he has been my knight since before I was born. He's probably 27 this year. Although he looks like a knight, he actually has the rank of a viscount, the second highest rank a person not of royal blood can attain.

"Thank you for your kind gesture, your highness," she said as she sat down.

Oh, I can see a little hint of legs.

What's with all the curtseying, though? Ever since I came to Lytis, every female had been curtseying to me the moment they met me. I guess it's true that the culture of River Country is more similar to Forlendia than to Surfes. If I had asked any of my sisters to curtsey to me, I'd get a bloody nose, every time.

"Kaito, please bring forward the gold."

Her three henchmen came forth carrying three chests full of gold. Despite that, this doesn't look enough. Or did I make a mistake?

"I'm sorry, your highness, I couldn't get enough money for the ransom. I only have 380 gold with me."

I see, yes, my memory is not wrong.

"I appreciate your honesty, my lady. Too bad, but this is still not enough," I said. I wonder how many gold I asked. Was it 400? 500?

She fidgeted, looking so pitiful. "I-I know, but surely we can work something out?"

Oh, please don't act like that. You're looking so irresistible right now.

"I can release both the baron and your brother. As for the others, you will have to choose who to bring home."

I'll have to ask Carlton how much money I actually asked her for the ransom later.

"Please, your highness. Is there another way? I can't choose who will live and who will die. Please don't force me to make that choice, your highness!"

Stop! Your begging is too seductive! Good ancestors, I need to get laid.

"Impossible! Unacceptable! I have already reduced the ransom amount greatly. You want me to reduce it even more? No, you will have to choose who to bring home. There shall be no more negotiation, unless..." I paused, as a wicked thought came to mind, but instead I said, "No!"

"What is it, your highness? Is there a way?"

Yes, but...

"You won't like it."

Unless you're a whore.

"How would you know I won't like it, your highness?"

"Well," 'because you're a lady' was what I wanted to say, but I took out something from the chest beside the throne instead and handed it to Carlton while saying, "Would you wear this, my lady?"

Please say yes. Please say yes!

She accepted the leather-wrapped package, opened it and took out a lacy silk teddy. The look of shock on that beautiful face was priceless! I had originally prepared this for my sister Rellina's wedding, but this feeling is much better. Pranking my sister can be done any day.

"I-I suppose I could wear it... for my husband. Is this a gift, your highness?"

You can take it if you'd wear it for me. Of course, I won't be your husband. I'm not going to settle for the first girl I bed.

"Yes, it's a gift, but I want you to come to my bedchamber tonight, wearing that."

It took her a few seconds to process my words, but when she finally understood what I said, her face went red as she started yelling some kind of insult.

"You pervert! Lolicon! Scum! Lecherous bastard! Dirty douchebag!"

Okay, I can understand pervert, scum, lecherous bastard and dirty. What does lolicon and douchebag supposed to mean, though?

Her henchmen started drawing their swords, which prompted my soldiers in the hall to move forward and raise their spears in my defense. Truly marvellous readiness and responsiveness. Carlton trained them well. What will I ever do without Carlton?

"It's funny. I hear you say something, but half of it is total gibberish, my lady. Is it safe to assume that those were all insults?"

It sounded like an insult. It'd be strange if those were praises instead.

"Damned right they were! You worthless excuse of a human being! No, not even human. You're dirt! Toilet dirt! I will market another brand of toilet paper with your name on it!"

Toilet paper? What is this? Is it something you use to clean the outhouse? Or some kind of announcement that you nail to the outhouse? Do Forlendians charge people for using the outhouse? Is that what it's for? An fee notice of 1 silver for pissing and 3 silver for taking a dump?

"Is that so? I don't know what this toilet paper is, but I'm pretty sure it's an incredibly offensive insult."

"Of course it's an insult, pervert! Everyone will know your name as that thing they use to wipe their butts with!"

I see, so in Forlendia they use 'toilet paper' in place of straw and leaves. I bet everyone in Forlendia have rough butts now. How can they wipe their butts with something so thick, hard and rough? Wouldn't that be like rubbing your butt on a piece of tree bark?

Well anyway, that did sound like a really bad insult. "I see. Carlton, execute everyone in the dungeon."

"Wait, you damned bastard! How can you just execute over 100 people just like that?"

Ohhh, this is what I've been waiting for. The shock, the anger, the terror. You are making me very excited with your expressions, my lady.

"They're your people, aren't they? You've just insulted me with what you've just admitted is the worst insult possible. My heart is very sensitive, I'm terribly hurt by your words. Carlton, please make sure they're executed by tea time. I'd really hate to wait."

Sensitive heart (lol). Me? Sensitive heart? I didn't even cry when my childhood friend was executed for attempting to spy on the crown.

"It will be done, your highness."

Good man, Carlton. Though I wonder if he understands that I wasn't really serious.

"Wait wait waaaaaaait!!!"

Oh, this is a new face. This is desperation, isn't it? I like this expression as well.

"Is there a problem, my lady?"

"Damned right there's a - uhum!" she forced herself to make the sweetest smile she could, "Hehe, it was a joke, your highness. Just a joke. Why are you being so serious?"

Is it okay to act like this? You're giving me a half smile and you're emitting an aura of hostility, my lady. You're not fooling anyone. But I must admit, this is adorable.

"A joke? Didn't sound like a joke to me." Because if this is a joke, then why are your eyes twitching?

"Oh you know us Forlendians. We joke all the time. That's how we greet each other. My father insulted me all the time. I insult my brother all the time. Everyone knows it was just a friendly banter. You shouldn't take it seriously, your highness. Hohohoho!"

I don't think that's true, but let's just pretend like I believe her.

"Is that so? So you don't mind wearing that and sleeping with me in my bedroom tonight?"

Let's try this again.

"That-"

"Carlton, tell the jailors to execute-"

"Waaaiiitttt! Yes yes, I look forward to sleeping with you tonight, your highness."

Perfect!

******

"Oahh..." I groaned while rubbing my head.

Looking around the bedroom, I tried to piece together what happened. The last thing I remembered was the lady entering the room. Then we got into an argument, the content of which I couldn't recall. In the end, we shared many goblets of wine and then... what?

What happened next?

Was I so drunk that I passed out shortly after?

Could it be I can't hold my alcohol?

That would be embarrassing. I hope nobody else hears of this.

"Your highness."

I looked at the partition that hid the door. "Oh, it's you, Carlton. What kind of wine did you choose for me? That was nasty!"

My head still hurts, Carlton.

"I'm not sure what you mean, your highness. That was a mild Elouene wine. You've drunk it before, your highness."

"That was Elouene?"

"Yes, I can't understand how you could've collapsed from that."

Elouene. The most mild wine, so mild that most adults consider it grape juice. A wine so mild that every kid in Rotenheim would claim to have drunk it at least once before they turn 10. I got drunk from that? Maybe I should stop drinking from now on.

"Where is she? Where's that lady? Did she wake up before me?"

"The lady of Metrune wasn't drunk. She left some hours ago."

"Even though we agreed to spend the night?"

"She left a letter for you, your highness. I left it on the table beside the bed."

A letter?

I turned to the table in question, discovering a letter placed next to a single chest. I picked up the letter and read it quietly.

Hi handsome. I hope this letter reaches you safely. I just want to say I really enjoyed tonight. You were really good. I'll never forget this night. I hope you won't forget me too. Goodbye and thank you for lowering the ransom to 200 gold.
 
Love, Felicia
 
p/s: Nobody actually calls you The Great.
 

"Wait, what's this about lowering the ransom to 200 gold?" I asked, while opening the chest on the table at the same time.

"You told me to release the prisoners for 200 gold, your highness."

"What?! I did no such thing!"

"You did, your highness. You were probably already drunk, but I heard it clearly, your highness."

"I wasn't drunk!"

"I stand corrected, your highness," Carlton said with a bow.

To think I negotiated in a drunken state, what was wrong with me? Wait, was there even a negotiation? I can't remember anything.

"I assume she took her father, brother and some of the Forlendians then. So how many left are still imprisoned?"

"None, your highness. We sent them all to the lady"

"What?!!! All Forlendians?"

“All of them, your highness. Not just Forlendians.”

“All? Even the political prisoners, the artists, the spies... all of them?”

"That was your instruction, your highness."

"I said release them all?"

"I did point it out to you, but you ordered me to release all of the prisoners. Naturally I assumed that you meant all of them instead of just prisoners from Forlendia... did I understand you wrong, your highness?"

I fell back onto the bed as I swore "I will never drink again!"

"Where is she now?"

"She has already left the castle, your highness."

"Send some soldiers. I want at least the spies back, Carlton."

"That may not be a wise move, your highness."

"Why not?"

"Duke Rafjar the Victorious took on her ship in battle without consulting either you or me, your highness."

"What? So uncle has her and the prisoners now? Damn! Negotiating THAT would be a pain!"

"No..."

"Something went wrong?"

"They escaped."

"Why didn't uncle chase her? He never lets his prey go."

"He had nothing left to chase with."

"Explain."

"The lady's ship sank 24 ships and the crew of the surviving two triremes resigned from the navy. They said the experience was too terrifying for them and they do not wish to see it again. If you wish, I can take you to the scene of the battle. Nothing much to see but debris, though."

"Wait wait, 24 - no, 26 ships? I thought uncle only has 14 triremes in his fleet right now? When did he bring home his Northern Sea Fleet?"

"The other 12 triremes were yours, your highness. They were Lytis's local patrol."

"My triremes? 12 triremes?"

"Yes, your highness. The chamberlain also asked about the toilet paper – your highness, are you alright?"

My vision blacked out as I again fell unconscious onto the bed.

 

 

*Thank you for reading. As usual, your comments are greatly appreciated. Please comment, your comments make me feel all fuzzy inside and motivates me greatly.
**Many thanks to awesome Eric for proofreading this chapter so quickly again.
***Sorry for the late post. Been busy with work and couldn't work on my writing much.