Take Three Girls Part 7

Take Three Girls. This is about 2 girls and one woman (myself) and their very different route to become the women they knew they should be. It was going to be called Take Two Girls, but an on line friend (she knows who she is) and the girls bullied me into the name change. Some poetic licence has been used to help the flow of the story but not very much.

Kate see’s the specialist in London and finds out about her condition and goes home. Victoria also is referred to the Tavistock and finds out about her condition. Victoria then makes a shrewd guess about my past.

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“Awwww aunty Av we’re in London – lets go out for a bit before I have to go to the hospital.” A very excited Kate pleaded, so I relented saying, “Ok, ok anything for peace BUT we’ll only go down to the river (2 minutes away) and sit and watch the rush hour.” “Wot’s the rush hour” came the question so I had to explain about the two hours in the morning and evening.“ “That’s four hours why d’they call it one?”

Seven in the morning and already my head was spinning! We got dressed and merged into the masses of people going to work even at this time there were thousands. Sitting next to the Thames Kate was silent taking everything in after about an hour I said, “Breakfast?” “Ohhhhh yes aunt Ave I’m starving” was the reply. “Tell me something new” I muttered as we started walking back to the hotel.

After breakfast it was time to brave the tube I gave Kate some instructions mainly don’t leave my side and hold my hand – I was terrified of loosing her in the crowds.
We made our way to Tower Bridge tube station then made out way across to Finchley Road thence to the Portman Clinic and the gender identity development service where Kate was assessed.
It took about an hour then it was off again to a medical centre where Kate was subjected to a battery of tests and scans and had blood and urine samples taken. Throughout it all she was stoic answering question honestly and openly.

Then it was back to the Tavistock for another evaluation and preliminary discussion of their findings.

The suspicion was that Kate was what they called complex or undetermined intersex, a condition where she has an extra sex chromosome, as it stands now she will remain as she is until hormone treatment can begin at 16.
As the doctors put it “you will not virilise strongly” to which Kate answered, “Eh?” I didn’t understand either but apparently she will not take on any secondary sexual characteristics until hormone therapy is started.
This could only start at 16 when she could make an informed choice. Her back straightened I thought ‘Oh oh what’s coming now.’ (I’d seen this before)

She looked the doctor who was speaking straight in the eyes with those green lasers that are eyes and told him, “Look doctor, I’m a girl, I have made - what you say is an informed choice AND I won’t change me mind!”

So after all this we had to wait for the results of the chromosome investigation, they recognised that Kate had an issue and a programme was devised to help her consisting of the following.
Individual psychotherapy and parental support/counseling.
Also Intermittent reviews to monitor gender identity development and referral to the Pediatric Liaison Clinic for physical assessment.
Depending on the results of the chromosome tests treatment could change.

After five hours we left Kate was reasonably happy, as they hadn’t told her she was being silly and that she was a boy.
We headed back to the hotel and I phoned June to tell her of the results and she told me that Kate could go home on the Monday as things had been sorted out at home.
I was happy for her but part of me was sad, as she was good to have around. I told her the news and she seemed quite happy.
Looking at me she told me, “I’m going to miss you aunty Av – can I come and see you?” I had no idea of the protocol but sod them and their stupid protocols so I told her, “Of course you can sweetheart but tell your mum where you are going.”

We spent the rest of Friday doing a bit of sightseeing. Then back to the hotel to change then we went for something to eat and thence to the theatre, which was another first for Kate finally, getting to bed after midnight again.

Bloody seven o’clock again and she was awake. She didn’t wake me up directly but it was like sharing a bed with a hyperactive pack of dogs!
I made the mistake of opening my eyes to see those green eyes staring at me, “Great aunty Av you’re awake – can we go out again?”

I heaved a big sigh then realizing this was all new to her dragged myself out of bed and we got ready and went out for a walk along the river. So Saturday was spent showing Kate London. I grabbed some leaflets and let her read them and decide where to go.
So we ended up at Madam Tussaud’s, The London Dungeon, A river trip; Buckingham Palace (to see if she could see the Queen) Harrods (just don’t ask but she wanted to see the ‘posh shop’) we had one cup of coffee, a glass of milk and two cakes in Harrods and it came to £20!
At this rate I was going to be destitute but it was worth it. That night we went to the pictures again I let Kate choose and to my amazement she chose a chick flick saying that she’d be the first girl in school to have seen it.

If I wasn’t already aware of it that statement really rammed it home to me exactly how she saw herself!

After the cinema we went down China Town for her to see the sights hear the sounds and smell the delicious aroma.
She said that she liked Chinese food so we went into a restaurant and ate, a full meal plus a glass of wine for me and coke for Kate came to £30 only a tenner more than coffee and a bun!

We actually made it back to the hotel before midnight! AND she didn’t wake me at seven the next morning! It was seven thirty!
We went for the walk along the river had breakfast then packed our small cases and headed to Kings Cross for our trip home.

We were greeted by the dogs who were over the moon to see us, I took my neighbor a little something to thank her for looking after my dogs and got a telling off as she said she loved looking after them.

We went out for a late Sunday lunch at a local carvery then packed the few belongings Kate possessed. She looked at me and asked, “Can I leave my dresses here aunty Av?” “Of course” was my answer then I continued, “But why?” She gave a small wry smile answering, “In case HE cut’s em up!” What could I say, it was her father she was worried about, so I suggested that I get her some bit’s and pieces so when she come’s to visit we have some clothes for her.

Next morning – well it was hard! I cannot pretend any other! June came and collected Kate with her small bag of clothes. Kate clung to me and asked, “Can I still visit aunty Av?” I looked at her social worker June who gave a small nod.
“Of course you can sweetheart, just tell your mum where you are going – ok?” She smiled bravely and nodded. Then she got into June’s car and was off home.

I felt like a good cry so I collected my dogs and drove up to the moors for a good long walk and a good cry!

Things settled down. On Thursday at the office with Jan we met Victoria (remember her from part one?) Victoria came with her mum who even though she accepted Victoria’s need to be a girl, she was not at ease with calling Victoria her daughter instead she told us that she wanted what was best for her child.

We told Victoria’s mother to return to her doctor and demand to get referred either to the Portman or to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Team, I also gave them the name of my friend working for ‘Mermaids’.

As they left Victoria really unsettled me when she looked at me directly and asked to see us again because ‘you’ (meaning me) know exactly what I am going through.

Jan and I sat back after Victoria and her mum had left. “Well” Jan said, “two cases in two weeks there must have been something in the water in 1994!” (Both girls were the same age)
My life settled down and time passed at a normal pace. I worked at my ‘proper’ job most of the week and contracts were steady and very lucrative I also did my three half days at the drop in centre.

Of Kate I saw very little but from June (her case officer) I discovered that she did indeed have a genetic abnormality. Kate was diagnosed with Karyotype 47XXY otherwise known as Klinefelter Syndrome. This is quite a common condition at puberty boys do not develop male characteristics also as with Kate they can develop female gender identities.

June also said,” Kate is ok at home, she tells me that she misses you Avril. Her mum is coping well especially now she understands that Kate does indeed have a medical condition. Her dad is behaving himself so things seem to be back to normal.”

After a couple of months I met Victoria again. She came into the office and asked if she could talk in private. Jan was at lunch and it was early June so I suggested a walk or go across the road to McD’s (talk about teaching kids bad habits) so we sat outside eating; we both had chicken salads and diet coke.
Victoria looked me straight in the eyes and stated, “I believe you know exactly what I am going through!”
This did shock me as I am quite feminine looking except for my shoulders that are a touch wider than most women’s and my hands, which are not huge but not slender though long nails do help.
But for the rest no I look like a slightly overweight woman. So I said carefully, “of course I know, this is why I help at the drop in centre.” Her big blue eyes seemed to read me as she steadily gazed at me she sighed, “I’m sure that you used to be like me Avril. I’m sorry if I’m wrong and offended you but............”

Well it was up to me so I decided to be honest with her and started, “Victoria you are quite right I did used to be male.........” “I knew it!” She exclaimed, “Oh I’m so happy I have someone who understands; really, really understands not just says that they do; when they have no idea at all! They have read about it and think they know – but you DO know how I feel”

I took hold of her hand as I realized that this outwardly confident young girl was awash with insecurities – what a façade she was presenting to the world it must take a hell of a lot of strength to maintain it.

“Vicky” I started to say but she interrupted me “It’s either Victoria or Tori! Please I don’t like Vicky.” So that told me!
So I started again, “Tori I do understand a lot of what you are going through, but not how you feel now. Even though at school I knew that inside I was a girl I simply didn’t have the gut’s to do what you are doing – you are one brave girl!”

She looked at me, “Am I?” I nodded then said, “It take’s a lot of courage to ‘buck the status quo; which is what you are doing.”

“But I am a girl, I have Klinefelter’s Syndrome I have female chromosome’s with a male bit! (Karyotype 47XXY)” When she told me that I was gob smacked. Inside 2 months we had 2 girls the same age with the same syndrome that can’t be common – or a coincidence!

We spoke for another hour or so and finally as we left she hugged me telling me, “Thanks for listening and for being there for me.” I smiled gently at her reminding her, “Anytime Tori; you have my mobile number. Call me anytime you feel the need.”
She grinned cheekily at me saying, “Even in the middle of the night?” I simply nodded telling her, “If it’s important to you – even in the middle of the night.”

As we parted she turned and said, “Your secrets safe with me Avril, no one else would ever know just by looking at you; but I simply knew you were special.”

This was from a 13 year old girl who was wise beyond her years. I later found out she had an IQ of 168! While mine was that of a pumpkin.

I walked back to the office thinking ‘special’ me – never I’m normal. Then thinking about it I’m not really normal either! (When judged by other people)

Born This Way