I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this.Chapter 14.

Pimples.
------------------------------------------------

My dad had always told me that one day I would start growing hairs on my face and chest, then my chin and shoulders would broaden and I would turn into a man, but what if you don’t want that to happen. I guess I had done better than most boys.

I was almost 16 and this was the first sign of facial hair and the first pimple I can remember, but it was still upsetting. I got dressed for school and went downstairs for breakfast. My Mom noticed my pimple as soon I sat down.

“What’s that on your face?” she said, she put one hand on my neck to steady me then she touched it with her thumb. “You never get pimples do you Mitch? And I can feel here a couple of strong hairs growing. I guess you are going to turn into a man after all.”

“Yes Mom,” I said, without any enthusiasm.

“Whatever is the matter Mitch? I thought you would be glad to know that you were changing into a man at last.”

“I certainly don’t want to get hairy and mean like the other guys at school. All hairy faced, pimply and bad tempered. You know that I don’t like being mean to anybody. The boys at school pick on each other and fight in the hallways. I don’t want to be like that.”

“My goodness Mitch! I had no idea you felt that way.”

“I told you I am not like other boys Mom.”

“So what are you like Mitch?” she said.

“I don’t know Mom,” I said. I was realizing that I had to change my attitude here. I didn’t want to give too much away. I was not ready to tell her that I wanted to be a girl or anything because I had not made my mind up yet.

“All I know is that I do not want to be hairy-faced or pimply and I don’t want to be mean and fight anybody, which is what the other boys my age seem to want to do. Is that reasonable Mom?”

“I guess so sugar, but you can change all of those things yourself. If you don’t want pimples I will get you some Clearasil. If you don’t want hair on your face you can shave. And if you don’t want to fight people then don’t fight. I fail to see the problem. You are going to become a man Mitchell Neil and there isn’t a dam thing anyone can do about it. But what kind of man you become is up to you.”

I knew what kind of man I wanted to be. I want to be the kind of man who wears dresses and makeup and is admired for being beautiful, and I couldn’t do that with pimples and a hairy face.

“Do you think I am being silly Mom?” I said.

“Just a little Mitch, but your body is about to go through some pretty big changes in the next couple of years. Being concerned about that is understandable, but don’t go overboard on us Mitch. Every boy goes through exactly the same thing but I am sure most boys don’t worry about it like you are. Most boys look forward to it.”

“But as I said Mom I am not like most other boys.”

“Well Mitch I have a feeling that soon enough you will become like other boys and there is not a lot you can do about it, so I suggest you just get over it and plan on welcoming the new you.”

Not much sympathy there I thought to myself. But unless I told her how I really feel I couldn’t expect anything different. But I didn’t have the courage to say anything yet as I didn’t really know what I wanted to do about anything. I got ready for school and headed out to while I was still on time.

On the way to school I noticed Carter was coughing a little and holding one arm down by his side. I asked him what was the matter.

“If you had been there you would have seen it.” He said. “Some linebacker speared me with his helmet.”

“How can you spear someone with your helmet?” I said, “Isn’t a helmet a little blunt?

“Spearing is when you dive at someone head first,” said Warren.

“I know that I was just trying to be funny.” I said, but I really didn’t know.

“Anyway where were you?” said Warren. “You said you were gonna’ come watch the game with all the other guys?”

“My Mom wanted me to go into LA with her to visit my Grandfather,” I said. “We stayed longer than she planned.”

“Listen Mitch you are gonna’ have to say no to your Mom more often. The game is important. We need all the support we can get. Next week we are going to Anaheim on the bus and we expect you with us. Got It?”

“I got it Warren. I won’t let you down. As long as my Mom doesn’t have anything special arranged.”

“There isn’t anything more important than supporting your buddies Mitch. Tell her in advance you are coming with us.”

The smell of testosterone around here was pungent. The big guys at the back were all shouting and pushing each other down the hallway. I couldn’t wait to get into my class. I was feeling miserable enough without all of that crap.

When I got into my form room Mr. Washington was already there and Lauren was already in her desk. Lauren was looking just as sweet as ever. No glasses today and just a little makeup. She noticed I looked a little miserable and put both of her hands on my right forearm and then rested her head on my shoulder.

“Lauren Martini” Mr. Washington shouted across the room. Lauren pulled herself back to her desk immediately. “We may not have started class yet but you are not supposed to be touching that boy like that anywhere on school property. This is really your final warning just because class hasn’t started yet. If I see you touching that boy for any reason during the next 5 days and on school property, you will be at opposite ends of the room for the rest of the year. The rest of the class I am sure will remind me.”

Great I thought. Now I am even getting a bad time from my teacher. The rest of the day was just as annoying. All I wanted to do was to talk to Lauren and make arrangements to get those pills, but since Lauren had stopped wearing glasses and started wearing makeup she had been adopted by the Laguna beach babes and was never on her own.

I could see that she wanted to talk and we did exchange a few nice words, but because of what I wanted to talk about, I couldn’t say anything when there was the slightest possibility of being overheard, so I didn’t say anything.

I waited for Lauren outside school in our usual spot near the road outside the school and I was relived to see her bounding out of school looking really glad to see me. She gave be the most delicious little hug, as good as I could get in a public place and we walked off hand in hand towards home.

“You looked like you really wanted to see me today Mitch. Whatever is the matter?”

“I just needed to speak to you Lauren. You know I am the only person I can really talk to.”

“That’s really sweet Mitch and I would love to talk to you, but my dad will be around any minute because I am doing a training course at ‘The Parasol.’ It will be my last one. After tonight my regular nights will be Tuesday and Thursday but I will occasionally be called in at other times but I don’t have to take them.”

“So you don’t have any time for me tonight?”

“Not until after work. Poor Mitch! Nobody to talk to! It must be really difficult being you today, whatever is the matter.”

I knew I didn’t have any time to explain things slowly and quietly so I just laid it all out for her in one blob. “Look I got my first few hairs on my top lip today, and I got a great big pimple. I really need those pills of yours to make this stuff go away.”

As I finished my little tirade Lauren’s father came by in the Black Bavaria to pick Lauren up.

“Text me later before you go to bed,” she said. She kissed me on the lips and got into the car. “We have to make arrangements about tomorrow.” Then she was gone.

I felt a little sorry for myself and started to walk home, hands in pockets, pack over my shoulders I kicked at the grass to take out my frustration on something, then I heard someone calling me from behind.

“Hold on little buddy,” shouted Carter as he and Warren came running down the road to catch up with me. “What happened to Lauren, she was with you a minute ago?”

“Her Dad picked her up because she is working tonight.”

“Oh,” Said Warren. “So you gonna’ come shoot some hoops with us Mitch?”

“You don’t need me to shoot hoops with. I just get in the way, and anyway I thought there was something wrong with your arm Carter.”

“My arm is fine now,” said Carter. “Warren punched me on the other side so it balances out.”

“You normally just hang out with us,” said Warren. “We enjoy having you around. You are our buddy and we I haven’t spoken to each other in a week. What have you been up too lately anyway?”

I was now walking in between Carter and Warren. Warren reached his hand around and rested his arm on my shoulders. I let it sit there for a few seconds but his arms were really heavy so I twisted my shoulders around and let his arm fall.

“Not much.” I said. “I have been hanging around with Lauren sometimes and I have a babysitting job a couple of nights a week so I have some money. I have earned $100 already.”

“Wicked,” said Carter. “Let’s go down to the beach and spend some.”

“I can’t tonight guys, but maybe later in the week I could. I gotta’ be somewhere tonight.”

“So where you got to be tonight that’s so special?” said Warren.

“It’s not special, but I am going around to see the woman I baby sit for. She makes me a meal and I have a swim in her pool.”

“I don’t mind going for a swim in somebody’s pool,” said Carter.

“And what is so special about this woman that you would blow off your buddies for anyway?” said Warren.

“I am not blowing you off. She’s nice,” I said “and she has go really big tits, and when she puts her bikini on to go for a swim she has a wicked body.”

“All the more reason we should go with you Buddy,” said Carter.

“So she has a good body, but what is her face like?” said Warren.

“Well she is really pretty like you wouldn’t believe. She used to be a model and she is only 25.”

“So why isn’t she a model now?” said Warren.

“Well you know what I think? I think models are all skinny girls with little or no tits. I think Miranda was skinny when she was younger but when she got older her tits filled out and now her tits are too big.”

“How can her tits be too big?” said Carter.

“Not too big,” I said. “Just too big for a skinny model. Her tits would look marvelous on a porn star or a hooker. I guess she just can’t fit into those skinny model size dresses.”

“You’re kidding me. She is that good looking?” said Warren.

“Well if she is that good,” said Carter. “You have to find some way to get us in that pool when she is there. We gotta’ see this girl.”

“I don’t know about that guys. Their house is all fenced and gated. You are never going to see over that fence.”

“That is not what I meant little buddy. You have got to get us an invite,” said Warren. “After building this girl up so much you don’t expect to tell us we are never going to see her. Somehow you are going to get us an invite so we can see her.”

“OK I can try,” I said. “But don’t hold your breath. I don’t know how I would approach the subject.”

“That’s easy,” said Warren. “Just say that you were talking to your friends about your really nice pool and we asked if we could see it and maybe go for a swim. She won’t know you have been telling us about how big her tits are. You could also say that you told your friends that she is a really nice person and we said that we like really nice people and we asked to meet her. Be creative. I know you can handle it.”

“You are the smartest guy we know,” said Carter. “I am sure you can figure something out.”

“I will try,” I said.

“Good enough for us little buddy. So are we going to hang out later in the week? Let’s go spend some of your money down by the beach,” said Warren.

“Sounds good guys. See you in school.”

Carter and Warren headed off towards their favorite basketball court and I headed home.

Mom was at home when I got there wearing one of the pretty dresses she bought from that dress store. You know the store. This dress was fawn and beige and had spaghetti straps revealing her shoulders that looked very pale for someone who lives in this area.

“Hi Mom, that dress looks very pretty on you, but I think you need to get some sun on your shoulders because it makes you look a little pale.”

“Thank you Mitch, but that is why I am wearing this dress, so I can get some sun on my shoulders. So what time are you due over at Miranda’s house?”

“Oh I have to go to Miranda’s house! I had almost forgotten,” I said hoping she wouldn’t catch me lying. “She said come over at about five so we can eat together, if you don’t mind that is.”

“I have no problem Mitch, but your father commented that you haven’t stayed home at all for the last week. How are you going to get your homework done?”

“No problem Mom. Lauren and I did the last bunch on Saturday morning and I have another batch to do on Wednesday. But don’t worry Mom. I always manage to get straight A’s and that’s not going to change.”

“That’s nice for you dear. So what is so good about Miranda’s cooking that makes you want to go over there Mitch?”

“Nothing really Mom. She does mostly the same food as you do, but she puts more seasoning, herbs and sauces on stuff.”

“So am I going to have to get cooking lessons from Miranda too?”

“No Mom you’re cooking is fine, just different to Miranda’s. No one said there was anything wrong with your cooking.”

“But you said you liked Miranda’s cooking more than mine!”

“No I didn’t Mom. You asked me what I liked about Miranda’s cooking. Look please can we start again? Hi Mom you look really pretty in that dress.”

“Thank you again Mitch and how much time do you have before you go over to Miranda’s house? I thought we could sit and talk for a while.”

“I have a couple of minutes Mom. What do you want to talk about?”

She reached into one of the kitchen cupboards, pulled something out. “Here,” she said, placing a bottle of Clearasil and a Gillette shaver in front of me. “I was going to give you a shaver for your birthday so you are getting one of your presents early.”

“Thanks Mom,” I said, but I just couldn’t find any enthusiasm to go with it. “Just what I needed.”

“No need to go overboard with the thanks Mitch,” she said. “No one noticed anything at school did they did they?”

“There is no way they would notice me having a one blackhead when most of the boys in my year have dozens of them. I just blend in better now,” I said trying not to let my disgust at the blemish on my upper lip get the best of me, but I wasn’t do a very good job.

“I don’t get this attitude Mitch. What is so bad about growing up like other people do?”

“I told you Mom. I am not like other boys.” I said sounding just like any of them.

“Well at this moment I don’t believe you. Yesterday you were the sweetest kid I could ever wish for and today you are just a bear. Nothing is right with you and everything I say seems to upset you. You are acting like the stereotypical adolescent male that yesterday you said did not want to be.”

She was right in a way. I was being a complete ass. I had to try and make things better. I didn’t want to upset my Mom. She had been very good to me.

“Look. I am really sorry for being like this Mom. I want to show you that I am different first by saying that I understand and acknowledge that you are right and I am being juvenile and insensitive.”

“Oh bullshit Mitch. Don’t give me that condescending crap. Just get out of here and try to adjust your attitude for the next time I ask you how your day was.” And she stormed quietly into the library and closed the door behind her.

I guess I had left it too late before I tried to turn things around. I thought about going to apologize to Mom again but I realized that she was upset with me and would not feel any better for a few hours. Maybe I could apologize tomorrow. Right now I had to get ready to go to Miranda’s house and I wanted to get rid of that blackhead.

The disgusting thing came out but it left an aggravated red mark and I knew that it was a bad time to try to shave that hair because it was too close to the red mark. I just had to leave it and get ready for Miranda’s. I combed my hair away from my face knowing that I wasn’t going to see anyone but Miranda, Robert and April tonight.

I dressed in my usual black tie and tux and headed for Miranda’s house. Neither my Mom nor my Dad came out to see me walk down the road. Having made the leap from boy to adolescent I no longer needed to be looked after.

I was round at Miranda’s in a couple of minutes, but before I rang the bell I needed to calm myself down and present a happier face to Miranda. She was one of the best parts of my life right now, as was my Mom, but I had better not let Miranda see this dark side of me. I took a few deep breaths and counted to five with my eyes closed. I smiled to myself and rang the doorbell.