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Imelda.jpg Hey boo,

It's over she found out!

I swear I had locked my laptop, but she got in and found out. I had the site up, showing a story I was outlining.

All the things I thought she would do she did, in front of the kids no less. There was a fight she said some things and I, well it doesn't matter anymore.

I sent you an email with my login for the site it also has some attachments stuff we were working on so you can finish them.

I know I tell you to be strong but I can't anymore I am so very tired. I look forward to the sleep - no more worry, no more fear. I do love you so much but I can't go on.

Log into my account and apologize to everyone for me, and make sure you tell them! Don't let them forget me! All I wanted was to be a happy girl. :(

It's better this way, I'm at the place we talked about I can see the whole city from here. I wish you were here holding me...

Maybe it might make a difference, I don't know.

It's time for me to fly love. Take care don't wind up like me. Make sure you live to the fullest and be the sweet girl I know you are. I promise I'll watch over you if I can. I'm going now, the last step. You were the one good thing in my life honey don't cry too much.

Love your friend,

Imelda.

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Comments

Serious stuff :(

wow. Makes me wish the receiver of the message (boo) could have called this person sooner to intervene :(

Just because the marriage was over did not mean Imelda had to leave, she could have gone on as herself and learned to live differently from hiding. But that is what life is about - discovering new ways of doing things and living.

Sephrena

anime_girls_27-normal.jpg

:'(

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

*softly whispers "goodbye"*
>i<

Imelda's Last Message to Boo

needs to be read by that monster who broke the spirit of Imelda's. May Imelda Rest In Peace.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Oh! Poor Imelda!

How sad! Although I know I have felt this way, that my world would fall apart and be unliveable if I were "found out" by my ex, my folks, my siblings. If I was "boo", my response would be, "just stay where you are, babe; I'll be there to hold you just like you wished."
Hey! What if "boo" finds Imelda before she can carry out her plan? (or calls 911 and the cops stop her?) Then you could post Imelda's thoughts on transitioning later!
You're stretching and spreading your writing wings, 'Niffer! Good job! I'm proud of you! **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Both are lost...

Andrea Lena's picture

...when family and self are lost, it can be almost too painful to bear. And for some it is entirely too painful to continue. When the 'villains' aren't beasts or monsters, but just overwhelmed by ignorance and fear. As good as things are, never a day goes by where I fear that one moment of unguarded haste which will leave me in the same way. I know I'd never end things, but I know the dread and the sadness enough to have been tempted more than a few times. Very powerful and all too personal for both of us, I imagine. Thank you!

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Don ´t give up

I know one Boo, he´s a hamster-angel from Megatokyo.com XD So I hope there is still hope for her to live. Dammit woman, don´t give up and fight! Gather your courage and sorrow and let it fire your fight.

Oh No!!!!

Please Tell me this is not what u are planing to do Big Sister Jenny.****Sniffling****Please tell me u are not going to do something like that,PLEASE NO!!!!My Heart Con not take something like that.I want everyone on here to make a promise to never do something as heartless as that to us,Ur Big & Little Sister's & Brother on here,PLEASE!?!?!?!?U all are my family on here!!!!I couldn't live with myself if I lost another family again.****Crying****So PLEASE Promise!!!!!!

Signed Little Sister Kagome (A.K.A.:Sweet-Girl87)

I hope

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

I hope it s not a done deal.
. . That's the way I read it, I hope I'm wrong.

-

Imelda, don't go!

Was there too

More than ten years ago I was in your situation. Having said good bye to friends in MSN-Transgender/transsexual. and prepaired for something terrible. Suddenly someone had called for the LRH from M4M, Marshall. He came to hold my hand while I could cry out my frustration and fear. It did not take the pain away, but somehow I found the stepping stones back to life again. Now let me hold both your hands while you can try to leave the malestrom an stay with us here.
The World, we in BCTS and I need you here

Ginnie

GinnieG

think about it

i been there my self back in 70's when i came home from over seas.someone told me life is wroth living,no matter how bads look you have to have faith in ur self.we r a big happy family we try to look out for one and another. if needing call up a friend that cares about u. i seen to much death in my life time i dont like seening family doing it

Jenn...

I am truely saddened to read this and hope that it's hypothetical and not actual. If it is in fact the latter, and it's to late to change, I'm sorry for your loss. If it is in fact the former, you are flexing your literary muscles on some powerfully, emotionally charged subjects, and your doing it remarkably well girl! Big Hugs either way, Taarpa

Such caring responses.

Thank you for reading my piece, this is a work of fiction. I write what I know and while I have had these feelings before I am ok. Imelda is not a member of BCTS though she is a part of me. I know I am not the first to have felt this way and sadly I won't be the last. I know I can count on my Big Closet family for support, so can you. If you ever feel this bad get help as soon as you can, message your friends, call the number up there below the Hatbox. Don't go it alone people will listen help exists. Hugs, Jenn.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Revisions

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

The way the initial revisions were listed made me a bit worried it did not look like you posted the story your self in the first place. You scared a few of us. It is sad to know there are those who have reached such a point.

Both your stories here so far look like giving up of hope, Don't you dare, ever!

*Huggles with Pixie Dust*
~Hypatia >i< ..:::

PS. next time you post sumtin so dark leave your own comment or add a note to the post directly, before or after.

Scary

What did you scare us good to know this is fiction HUGS RICHIE2

giving up

I've been close a couple of times. But the thing is, you dont know the future - maybe after things cool down, the wife would reconsider her position, and even if she didn't, while a divorce is painful, you can have a life afterward. That's funny thing about life, you never know exactly what will come around the corner.

DogSig.png

WOW!

What a powerful short little message! This is definitely something that gets a persons attention to say the least. I was nearly at an ocean of tears for a moment but I decided to check out the comments first. Good thing I did too lol!

You have an extremely powerful way with words Jenn!

I have to say I was once or twice in a similar situation. Leaving Germany I left someone I truly loved but I was too scared to tell him. On the flight home I had actually thought about opening the emergency hatch and jumping out. Believe me thirty thousand feet down to the big ocean will take care of matters rather quickly! If the freezing wind at seven hundred miles per hour does't do it then the splash onto the the ocean will! But, for some reason I decided to hang on and I am very happy that I did since now I am living with an extremely loving and caring man who will do anything for me! :}:}

Vivien

So few words, so much pain...!

Ole Ulfson's picture

I stepped to the edge this spring and hovered there for over 3 weeks. I wrestled with myself and with my God. I did it alone, and in silence.

But what really saved me was the loving support of friends, here and elsewhere, who knew that although they couldn't fight my fight, they could support me with their friendship and love. It was enough: Just!

I stepped back from the precipice and, having won my battle, will never have to go there again. Thank you all for your love!

A powerful story, Jenn, that brought up powerful feelings.

Thank you,

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!