Chapter 6 — The Curtain Call
Twenty minutes later, there still had been no return call from the Racine County sheriff’s department, and Father Fielding called the department directly, inquiring if they knew anything new.

Yes, the department told him, there had been a serious accident on I-94 and three people had been conveyed to Racine St. Luke’s Hospital. No, he couldn’t verify the names, but when Father Fielding asked if they were named “Hansson,” he said, “No, they were all either Hispanic or African-American, father, and none by the name of ‘Hansson.’”

“Really, but we had a call from your department.”

“No, I would have been the one who called, and it wasn’t me, father. I’m sorry.”

When the dean hung up, he said to Karen: “That’s odd. They said there was an accident on I-94, but the injured probably weren’t your mother or brother.”

“What? Why would they have called?” Karen asked.

“Who knows? Let me call my assistant in. She got the call, and she’s still here.”

Ms. Landingham was a tall, somber looking woman with short grey hair. She walked erect and purposefully into the office.

“Grace,” Father Fielding began, his voice soft and gently. “That call from Racine? Did it sound authentic to you?”

“I thought so,” she said. “He said his name was Deputy Wills and reported the accident in a very official manner. He was courteous and direct. Then he hung up after telling me to keep Mr. Hansson in your office for a return call.”

“Hmmm, did anything else strike you about the call, Grace?”

The woman thought for a moment and then said: “Yes, there was one thing. His voice was . . . ah . . . how should I say it? . . . well, it was effeminate, which I thought was weird for a sheriff’s deputy.”

“Effeminate? That is odd,” the priest said. “Thanks, Grace. You may leave now. And have a good weekend dear. I think it’ll be another hot one.”

“Thank you father,” she said. “I’ll be at mass Sunday with mother.”

“Bless you dear.”

“She’s a very loyal person and really very sweet,” the priest said to Karen after the assistant left. “Some people think she’d an old sourpuss, but even she cried a bit when she got the call earlier.”

Karen was silent, wondering whether to say anything. That the voice sounded “effeminate” seemed to indicate the caller might have been Jimmie. Was the whole thing a hoax, perpetrated by Jimmie just to play a part in a summer camp play? Even Jimmie wouldn’t do such a cruel thing.

“Well, I guess we better wait it out a bit,” the priest said finally. “Could I get you anything, dear?”

“Maybe just a diet coke, father.”

Father Fielding left the room, and while he was gone, she got up and began looking out the window. Her mind wandered as she looked out upon a lovely green, wooded campus. The rains in early June had been heavy, followed by unusual heat and everything had blossomed into lush, warm colors, which sparkled against a totally blue sky. Karen loved this time of the year: no wonder so many brides chose June for their wedding dates! She dreamed of a lovely June wedding, maybe at this same campus, presided over by Father Fielding with the groom being Mark Hamilton, of course. And she’d be Mrs. Mark Hamilton. It was an intoxicating feeling.

“Karen, you’re the most beautiful bride we’ve ever seen in the college chapel,” she dreamed hearing Father Fielding say at the ceremony.

As lovely thoughts filled her head, momentarily erasing the pain of what may be serious injury to her mother and brother (or even death), she continued to gaze out upon the campus. Cars were beginning to arrive and park at the auditorium lot in the distance.

She looked at the Father Fielding’s desk clock, which read 6:04, nearly an hour since she was summoned from her supper to the dean’s office. She realized that Jimmie right now would be in makeup, and soon would be wearing the same outfit she was supposed to wear that night. He would go on in her place, and he would be kissing Mark on stage, not herself. The thought depressed her.

A golden-colored car approached the school lot, appearing uncertain where to go. Karen looked closely at it. It was a Caliber, the same make and color as her mother’s car; there weren’t too many Calibers on the roads, especially of that gold color. Could that be her mother’s car? There appeared to be two people in the car, which soon found its way into the parking lot.

“It’s mother and Sonny,” she exclaimed outloud, using her 15-year-old brother’s name.

She bounded out of the room, bumping into Father Fielding, carrying two cans of Coke; he stopped her flight.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I think my mother and brother just drove in. They’re alive.”

“Hold on a minute,” he said. “I just talked with Professor McIver. We’re sure the call was a hoax and he still wants you to go on and play Ophelia. There’s time if you hurry. Describe your mother’s car to me and I’ll greet them and tell them the play may start a bit late, but that you’re going on and will be a star.”

“But, how do you know it’s a hoax, and maybe that car isn’t my mom’s but just looks like it?”

“Because when I told McIver that the caller was effeminate, he immediately felt it might have been your understudy, Jimmie.”

“Really?”

“Yes, dear, and when he confronted Jimmie, the boy eventually broke down and said he worked so hard to be Ophelia, he just felt the part should be his. The professor suspended Jimmie from the play and your friend Sally will portray Laertes. Now hurry, you need to get made up and costumed. I’ll look forward to seeing you, and I’m sure your mother and brother will be proud.”

Karen shook her head. “My mom might, but not my little brother. He’ll be shocked.”

“Go now Karen, and break a leg.”

*****
Karen rushed over to the auditorium, and as she approached the dressing rooms in the back of the thater, she heard the loud sobs coming from the room she had been assigned. She knew it must have been Jimmie lamenting that he was being denied the part he had worked so hard for.

“But I looked so pretty in the dress,” he wailed.

“Now finish up here, now,” came the insistent voice of Professor McIver. “You’re done in my class and the sooner you get off this campus the better.”

“But my mom and dad came all the way from Pittsburgh to see me,” he complained, obviously speaking through tears.

“You should have thought of that before pulling this cruel hoax. How could you do such a thing? Karen doesn’t deserve that.”

Karen stood outside the door, hearing this scene, almost beginning to feel sorry for Jimmie. He had worked hard to the part, Karen knew, and really was quite credible as Ophelia. It must be devastating for him, she thought.

Without thinking, she barged into the room, screaming, “Professor, professor, let him stay and play Laertes. Jimmie did work hard for the part. And his parents are here.”

Professor McIver looked at her incredulously.

“Are you serious, Karen?” he said. “After what he did to you. Putting you through all this pain and uncertainty.”

“Yes, professor. Jimmie shouldn’t have played this trick, but don’t deprive him now.”

“You’re sure Karen?” Professor McIver persisted.

“Sure, I am,” Karen said, her expression totally serious. “Besides, I’m not sure Sally knows all the Laertes lines anyway.”

“I can coach her from the wings,” he said. “My inclination is to throw Jimmie out right now.”

Jimmie’s sobbing grew louder. Karen thought he looked terribly pathetic, but wasn’t quite sure if he wasn’t play-acting a bit. He was also so over-the-top in his demeanor.

“Now get up, Jimmie,” Karen said, suddenly taking command of the situation. The boy’s whining sobs were beginning to get on Karen’s nerves; she had been the aggrieved party here and yet she was playing a forgiveness role.

The boy got up, and accepted Karen’s hugs, blubbering lines that sounded like an apology. Finally Karen said, “Jimmie, just get out of my outfit. I need to get dressed. And you need to become Laertes.”

“Oh Kenny,” Jimmie gushed, “You’re so sweet. I love you.”

“Remember, I’m Karen,” she said. “Now hurry.”

Jimmie’s sobbing stopped almost instantly, reinforcing Karen’s belief that the boy was merely play-acting and may not have been as apologetic for his actions as he pretended to be. Was she a fool for her easy forgiveness of his action? Probably, but she knew she rarely could hold a grudge. Mark had noticed the trait, teasing her that she was more a “lover than a fighter.”

*****
She loved the Ophelia costume they had found in the theater’s costume room. It was a full-length gown, with a cloth-belted waist from which flowed folds of light diaphanous cream colored material. The upper part included elbow-length sleeves of lace material and a halter design across the bosom, with a high neckline trimmed in lace.

“It makes me feel so much like a lady,” she said to the young high school girl who was helping her dress. The theater department had incorporated a summer camp program for high schoolers into the program.

“Oh Miss Karen,” the girl said. “You look so dainty and fragile in this outfit.”

“Thank you, honey. That’s how I’m supposed to look, dainty and fragile.”

The girl helped her brush her hair so that the blonde tresses flowed freely as she walked or turned her head. When the costuming was completed, Karen walked about, viewing herself in the full-length mirror.

“Are you really a boy?” the girl asked.

“I’m afraid so.”

“I can’t believe it, Miss Karen. You’re really so beautiful and, if you don’t mind me saying so, so feminine.”

“Underneath all this,” Karen replied. “I’m a boy, but right now I feel I really must be a girl.”

“Well, if my boy friend saw you, I think he’d fall in love. Even when you were dressed only in your undies you looked more like a girl,” the teenager said.

Karen blushed, and then gave the girl a quick kiss. “You’re a sweetheart, honey, and don’t worry, I already have a boy friend.”

Just then, the door burst open. It was Professor McIver.

“Good, you’re all set, and we’re only five minutes late,” he said.

“I’m coming then.”

“Break a leg Miss Karen,” the high school girl said.

*****
Though the part of Ophelia does not involve many scenes of the play, it is a difficult part, since Ophelia must be a love-struck teenage girl who slowly becomes crazed, depressed and ultimately suicidal. Karen had viewed the films as various great actresses — like Vivien Leigh and Jean Simmons -- had played the part, but still felt she had to express the role with her own feelings.

To be sure, she had her own depressions. She felt she was a girl; yet, she still had the body parts of a boy. And she often cried at night over this dichotomy. She was so confused. And she was lovestruck, as Ophelia was with Hamlet, whom had seemingly rejected her. Karen was love struck with Mark, the muscular boy with whom she had shared her bed but in reality could never truly become her lover.

She had indeed become Ophelia, young and tender, sweet and vulnerable, crazed and suicidal. And all of that came out on stage that night in the auditorium. It became so easy, too, she discovered as the play progressed because her partner, Mark, portrayed his part so terribly believably. She began thinking Mark’s growing disdain for her (in his part as Hamlet) was real, and it did indeed crazed her, helping her to put great feeling into her scenes.

Karen lost herself in her role, creating a tension that communicated itself to the audience that appeared to sit in rapt attention through the critical scenes. Even in the end, Karen as Ophelia could only be seen as a tragic symbol of feminine vulnerability.

The curtain went down to enthusiastic applause, and, of course, with a standing ovation. It was only as Karen was taking her bows that she finally saw her mother, smiling broadly from a 5th row seat, and her brother scowling from a seat next to her. She saw her mother blow her a kiss, and Karen ran off the stage beginning to cry. She was brought on for a second set of bows.

“You took their breath away, honey,” Professor McIver whispered in her ear as he ushered her out to the second bow. “You played that part with as much feeling as I’ve ever seen any actress play it.”

Tears ran down her face in the bow, which she cut short, by running to the wings and bringing Mark out to share the bows with her. After all, Karen realized, it was his firm acting that helped her be so realistic in the part. It was at this point one of the high school boy actors who had served the cast rushed out with a bouquet of flowers, handing them to Karen. She took them, holding them proudly to her breast, as she curtsied and tears of joy began to run down her face. Mark bowed to more applause, and then on impulse, Karen grabbed Mark and kissed him firmly and meaningfully on the lips. He accepted the kiss with passion and hugged her, partially crushing the flowers. Truth be told they held the kiss and hug longer than was warranted, but the audience loved it. Karen and Mark charged off the stage hand-in-hand, and the curtain went down for a final time, the applause finally ending. It had been a triumphant night for a lovely girl and her strong young lover.

*****
Since they were unable to meet before the performance, Karen was both anxious and fearful about meeting her mother and Sonny, her brother. They had never before seen her in female outfits, or made up as a girl. She wondered if she should return to her boy mode to greet them, but in fact she had no boy clothes handy; they were all back in the dormitory room. All she had to wear were the girly shorts, sandals, camisole and light wrap that she had on when she was summoned to the dean’s office.

“Well, that will have to do,” she told herself.

Karen shared the dressing room with several other girls and they were all hurrying to leave to greet their own families. Mark told her in the wings at one point that his parents and brother were there and were eager to meet Karen, since he had let out that he had grown fond of the girl. “Why don’t you and your mom and brother join us afterward at the reception?” he asked.

“I’ll see what mom wants to do,” she answered. Then realizing that Mark wanted her to remain as Karen. “You want me as Karen?”

“Yes, but don’t let on that we’re roommates or that you’re supposed to be a boy,” he said.

“What did you tell them?”

“They think we’re an item, a boy-girl thing.”

“Oh my God,” was Karen’s only reaction.

*****
She finally found her mother and brother on the steps of the auditorium, enjoying the coolness of a summer night in Wisconsin. There, all of the families of the cast members lingered before heading for the reception.

“Mother,” Karen said. “Here I am.”

Before her mother could say anything, Karen rushed up and hugged her, giving her a kiss; she tried to do the same to her brother, but her shied away as if it would be distasteful.

“Kenny?” his mother queried.

“Yes, but call me Karen for tonight.”

“What happened to my son? I thought you dressed up only for the play.”

“Well, I did, but Professor McIver wanted us to really live our parts for the weeks we were here, and since I had a girl’s role, I had to dress and be like a girl.”

Her mother shook her head, finally muttering, “The play’s over. Why not go back to being Kenny?”

“I always thought I had a fag brother,” Sonny said. “Now I know it.”

“Don’t say that word, Sonny,” their mother said. “That’s not nice and Kenny’s no fag.”

“Yeah, what’s with you anyway?” Sonny continued, looking at Karen. “You really do look like a girl now. God what will Brian and my friends say?” Sonny was referring to one of his roughneck friends.

“Don’t worry about that, Sonny,” their mother said. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but I must say if I had a daughter, I’d sure want her to be as pretty as this girl standing before me.”

Just then, Jimmie and his parents came up, and Jimmie introduced them, saying, “Karen played that part with such passion, and she will always remain in my thoughts. She’s most special. I love her.”

The two families exchanged pleasantries, with Jimmie’s father commenting about Karen, “You were exceptional, my dear young lady. I wished Jimmie could have a girl friend like you.”

“Oh dad,” Jimmie protested. “Karen has a boy friend.”

Jimmie’s dad addressed Karen’s mother, “I wish Jimmie would find an interest in girls.”

“Come on, dad,” Jimmie said.

With that they turned to leave, but Jimmie spoke softly to Karen, “I’m so sorry for what I did to you, Karen. I didn’t know I could be so cruel. Thank you for forgiving me. I shall never forget it.”

“The incident is forgotten, Jimmie, but if you try, I know you can be a sweet and generous person,” Karen said, giving him a parting kiss on the cheek.

*****
Mark waved at Karen and her family as they entered the reception. He was seated at a round table with his family and it was obvious they were saving three seats at the table for Karen and her mother and brother.

“For some reason, Mark hasn’t told his family that I’m a boy, so don’t say anything,” Karen told her mother and brother as they approached the table.

“That’s sick,” said Sonny. “What are you? His girl friend?”

“Sort of,” Karen said.

“Sort of? What’s that mean?” Her mother seemed perplexed.

Karen didn’t have to answer, since Mark directed the family to the table, holding a spot next to his own for Karen, giving her a hug and kiss as she came near.

“Yucky,” said Sonny aloud.

“Yeh, yucky,” agreed a boy about Sonny’s middle school age sitting at the table. It was obviously Mark’s younger brother.

Mark held the chair in a gentlemanly fashion as Karen sat down.

“This is Karen and her mom and brother,” he announced to his family.

Greetings were exchanged all around. Mr. Hamilton was a burly man who had once worked in Milwaukee’s breweries and since had become a successful tavern owner and restaurateur. He had the same athletic body that Mark had, although he had developed a bit of a belly; his mother was a tallish blonde woman who maintained a curvy figure in spite of being a bit overweight.

“So this is the lovely lady we’ve been hearing about?” Mark’s father said.

Karen nodded in acceptance.

“You did a remarkable performance, young lady,” his mother said. “I felt tears coming to my eyes in the suicide scene.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton,” Karen said. “But lots of the credit should go to Mark for helping to bring the emotion out of me.”

“No dear, you did it all yourself, Karen,” Mark protested.

Karen looked over to see her brother whispering something conspiratorially to Mark’s younger brother. They both seemed to have a sour look on their faces. Karen’s mother noticed the same and suggested the two boys go off and find something to eat and drink. “It’s good they’re about the same age,” she said as they were gone.

“Yeah, we had to drag Billy to join us tonight, thinking he’d be bored,” Mrs. Hamilton said.

“I thought I’d be bored, too,” Mr. Hamilton said. “But I found the way they presented the play to make it so exciting and understandable.”

“Your daughter, Mrs. Hansson, was just terrific,” Mark’s mother said.

Cecelia Hansson smiled, nodded her head, and said, “Yes . . . ah . . . she was.”

It seemed to Karen that her mother struggled with the answer, as if the pronoun “she” was foreign to her lips.

“Is she going to study acting in college, Mrs. Hansson?” the other woman said.

“Call me Ceci, please,” Karen’s mother replied. “I’m not sure what Ke - - - Karen is going to finish up in; she’s got a partial scholarship and will just begin in liberal studies, I guess. How about your Mark?”

“Oh mother,” Karen interrupted. “You know I’m interested in teaching English or theater.”

“Yes, dear, but I also knew you had an interest in economics, and just think of all the money on Wall Street.”

“Mother,” Karen argued. “I am interested in economics, but not to work on Wall Street. I feel economics should be used to help ordinary people and the poor.”

“Oh dear, you’re such an idealist.”

“I think that’s commendable, Karen, either teaching or working for the poor,” Mrs. Hamilton said.

“As far as Mark,” the woman continued. “You’ve got a football scholarship awaiting at Iowa State, right, Mark?”

“Football,” Karen exploded, turning toward Mark. “You never told me about that!”

It was true, Karen had remarked upon Mark’s muscular body when the first met, and had asked then if he played football. All the boy had said then was, “I play a little. It’s not much.”

“I told you I played football,” he said.

“Not that you’re so good you’ve got a scholarship,” Karen said, showing a hurt expression. “And, you’re going to Iowa State. That’s a million miles away.”

“No it’s not,” Mark said. “It’s in Ames, about six hours from Milwaukee.”

“But still so far,” Karen said.

Mark’s father had been watching this exchange. Karen felt terribly uneasy under his gaze; it wasn’t that he suspected that Karen may not be the girl she appears. It was something, as if he disapproved of Mark having a girl friend, and perhaps even being in the summer camp.

“He’s going to play football, miss,” Mark’s father said. “And he’ll have no time for girl friends hundreds of miles away, no matter how cute they are.”

“Clarence, that’s enough,” Mark’s mother interceded.

“I didn’t like the idea of this acting business anyway,” the father said. “Just a bunch of fairies and fags.”

“Clarence! Stop it, you’re embarrassing us all.”

“Dad,” Mark said, raising his voice. “I know it’ll be all football at Ames, but I also love acting. You saw the way the audience liked it. Why can’t I do both?”

“Because it’ll distract you, son. If you’re going to be an All-American tight end, you’re going to have to work.”

“Dad, I’m not All-American material,” Mark said, with a hint of tears showing in his eye.

“You could be if you concentrated more on football, and less on this girly stuff, you could be. You got all the tools.”

“Now Clarence,” his wife said again. “I must really apologize Mrs. Hansson, Karen and your brother. Clarence doesn’t mean all this, he just wants the best for Mark.”

Mark’s father stood up and announced. “I’m going out for a smoke.” With that he left abruptly.

*****
As the evening wore on, Mark and Karen finally separated from the group, moving out onto a terrace where an already full moon had blanketed the mainly darkened campus. The pair sat on a stone balustrade, and Karen desperately wanted Mark to hold her hand, look into her eyes and tell her of his everlasting love. Yet, he sat strangely silent, almost preoccupied and as if he didn’t know she was seated next to him.

“What’s wrong, darling? Something’s bothering you,” she queried.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, refusing to look her into her eyes.

He shifted his body so that he no longer was facing her. Karen knew something was wrong.

“You were so marvelous tonight, Mark. You should be so happy.”

“Thank you,” he said flatly. “You were a real hit, too.”

“But what’s worrying you?”

“I’m fine. Just tired, I guess. We better get back inside.”

“Why? Our brothers seem to be having a great time and our parents are lingering over coffee.”

“Let’s just go back inside,” he said, arising but failing to take her hand and assist her down from their perch.

“Stop, Mark. Tell me what you’re thinking. This is our last night here,” she demanded.

“Stop nagging me. I’m going in with or without you.” His voice was stern, almost angry.

“Mark,” she yelled. “Stop now! I know what’s bothering you. You haven’t told your parents the truth about me, have you?” Karen asked.

He stopped in his tracks, looking back at her, saying: “Keep your voice down.”

“They’ll have to find out eventually. Didn’t they see the program? It lists Ophelia as being played by Kenny Hansson.”

Mark looked sheepish. “Oh that. I just told them it was a typo in the program.”

Karen was shocked. “Why did you do that? Didn’t they know that we were doing only what Shakespeare did in his time and sometimes boys played girl parts?”

“Oh it just happened.”

“Just happened? It’s a lie.”

Mark was silent for a moment, trying to change the subject by suggesting they go back to the food table for seconds in desserts. Karen refused to move.

Finally Mark explained. “Well it happened this way? Mom asked me if I had made any good friends at camp, and I told her yes and that it was the person who played Ophelia. She just assumed it would be a girl, I guess.”

“You could have set her straight.”

“Then they saw this lovely girl on stage and afterward my mother noticed how affectionate we were in taking our bows and said it looked like I had a girl friend. How could I tell them you’re a boy?”

“But what happens now?” Karen asked. “I’ll have to change into my boy stuff after tonight. And I’ll be Kenny again.”

At that moment, it dawned on her. Mark was planning never to see her again; they would return to their homes, Mark to Milwaukee and football and Karen to Manitowoc. They would be separated by about 80 miles and soon would be even further apart, as Mark would choose Iowa State and football, while she’d be at the University of Wisconsin. No doubt, they would lose touch with each other. As a football hero, he’d have lots of pretty girls.

Mark just treated her as a six-week fascination; certainly he didn’t view Karen as a real girl and a real lover. She was nothing but an oddity, a strange freak of nature. She began to cry, realizing that her days as Karen were ending … the happiest days of her life would be a memory and would live inside her like a Shakespearean tragedy. Also ending would be laying in the warm comfort of Mark’s strong, loving arms, of feeling his muscular chest beating as she laid her head upon it and of being a soft, sweet defenseless girl.

“I have to go now,” Mark said abruptly. “My parents are leaving and I have to say good bye. Maybe I’ll see you back in the room.”

“Oh Mark don’t leave me.”

Mark said nothing. He turned, said not a word more, and walked off to meet his parents. She stood with tears in her eyes, knowing that she wouldn’t even see Mark at the graduation ceremony, since his parents had to get back to Milwaukee.

She remembered the passion Mark had put into the famed “To be or not to be . . .” soliloquy, and how she had remained on stage during that scene in Act III, Scene 1, seated in adoring affection for the handsome young man. And then she recalled how convincingly Mark played what follows in the play: Hamlet’s cruel rejection of Ophelia’s love. Hamlet has blamed Ophelia’s beauty for undercutting “honesty,”

HAMLET. Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof. I did love you once.
OPHELIA. Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
HAMLET. You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.
OPHELIA. I was the more deceived.
HAMLET. Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners?

Mark had played Hamlet to show outright cruelty, something she never thought he had the capability of showing. He had always been so kind and sweet. Was that the real Mark showing? She had tried to act out Ophelia’s depression at this rejection, and according to everyone she had succeeded.

“Get thee to a nunnery!” Such haunting words, such heartless utterances, such finality.

She had performed Ophelia’s depressed and crazed state on stage; she had drowned herself in despair in Shakespeare’s play. Karen knew how Ophelia could bring herself to pass into peaceful oblivion. Her Hamlet was gone! Karen wondered, was hers to be the fate of the crazed beauty Ophelia, or would her Hamlet once again welcome her into his arms?