Chapter 2 — The Charade

“Haven’t you ever wanted to put on a dress or a skirt, Kenny?” Jimmie said later that afternoon when the group returned to the dorm. The two boys had stopped in Jimmie’s room, with the girls splitting off to plan how and when they’d dressed the boys up.

“No why would I?”

“Never even thought about it? You must have, Kenny. Admit it. You almost look like a girl now.”

Kenny blushed. The fact was he thought about often, almost every night as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep. He always passed it off as an absurd idea; he was a boy and boys just didn’t wear girl’s stuff. It probably was a sin, maybe even a mortal sin in the eyes of the Church. He was raised in a strict Catholic family, with the fear that an all-knowing God would not approve and condemn him to some fiery hell. Even to have such a thought was dangerous.

“I bet you dressed at least once, Kenny,” Jimmie pressed on.

“Well, I guess. Once. I put on mom’s skirt one day just see how I looked,” he finally confessed.

“How did you look?”

“I took it off right away,” Kenny said quickly.

“I bet you looked hot. You got great legs.”

Kenny smiled.

“See,” Jimmie said. “This’ll be fun.”

Kenny looked at the slender boy next to him. He felt certain that the other boy would look really nice as a girl; Jimmie had the same delicate features as he did, though might have had a more bony and hard appearance. Kenny often noticed how soft his body looked, occasionally even picturing himself as a teenage girl.

“Have you ever dressed, Jimmie?”

“Oh yes, all the time, or whenever I can,” the boy admitted without hesitation.

Kenny was surprised, not so much that the other boy had dressed often as a girl, but that he admitted it so readily and with such directness. He could never see that he would ever admit to putting on girl’s clothes. Now that he was agreeing to try it out for an adventurous scheme, he wished intensely that his action would remain discreet.

*****
The two boys ventured over to Mary Lindstrom’s room after their evening dinner in the college cafeteria, where they were to be outfitted by the Bard’s girls and apparently to be accepted as one of them.

“We made bets on whether you two had the guts to show up,” commented Sally Winston, who was a tiny, petite, dark-haired girl with a swarthy complexion and a perpetual pout that somehow made her attractive.

“And I lost,” Emily Wald said. She was about Kenny’s height and slender, small-boned and quite pretty.

“Sally’s about your size, Jimmie, or should I say, Jamie,” Carla said. “So she brought over some of her things.”

“I’m about the same size as Karen,” announced Emily. “I got something here I think you’ll just adore, Karen.”

As Emily began referring to him as Karen, Kenny began to wonder if all this was such a good idea. The girls seemed to have too much fun in this game of “dress-up,” and it could only lead to terrible humiliation, he felt.

“I don’t know about doing this, now,” he protested. “I think I’ll go.”

He turned to leave the room, but Emily grabbed his arm, holding him firmly. Her grip was strong and Kenny felt pain in his arm, as it twisted a bit in his desire to wrest free. He realized he was not strong enough to break her grasp, and he collapsed onto one of the beds, defeated by this slender girl.

“Come on, Karen,” Emily said. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“Oh you didn’t,” he replied gamely. “I just am not sure I wanna go through this. It could be . . . ah . . . well, sort of embarrassing.”

Carla came over, sat down next to him, grabbing one of his hands, holding it gently in one hand and reaching over to lightly brush his long hair with her other hand. It was a friendly, warm action and Kenny looked up at her, finally offering a weak smile.

“That’s better, honey,” she said, leaning over and planting a sisterly kiss on his lips.

“Look what I brought over for you, Karen,” Emily said, holding up what appeared to be a summer dress in white gauzy material and blue trim and highlights.

“She’ll be so pretty in that, dress, Emily,” Mary said.

“Oh, and, Karen, that dress will go perfect with your sweet complexion and blue eyes,” Mary said.

Kenny looked at the dress before him; it was a great choice and suddenly he felt eager to put it on and parade in front of a mirror to see how he’d look. In his dreams, he had often pictured himself as a dainty lovely young lady, and now it was about to happen — at least for one night.

Sally, who had gathered some outfits for Jimmie, took him down to her room to change, while Kenny stayed with the other three girls, using Carla’s bathroom to change out of his boy’s clothes and into a pair of peach-colored satin panties. He was embarrassed to walk into the room with the three girls wearing only the panties, leaving his soft, smooth hairless body exposed.

“She has such a nice body,” Mary said upon seeing Kenny. “I should be so lucky.”

“Me too, I’m such a cow in comparison,” Carla answered.

“I borrowed one of Sally’s bras, since she’s a bit smaller than me around the chest, so that should fit you well, Karen,” Emily said.

She held up a simple, white bra with padding, inside of which had been pinned some wads of cloth to create breasts.

“Why Karen, you already have some cute little breasts,” commented Mary, reaching over to touch the one of the small mounds of flesh that had formed on his chest. Where some boys had developed strong chests, his looked more like that of a 12-year-old girl, just developing into being a young lady.

Kenny blushed, his embarrassment growing.

The bra hooked in place, the girls now lowered the dress on over his head, pulling it down and fastening narrow straps over his shoulders, leaving them and his arms exposed. The dress ended at about mid-thigh; it had a straight bodice, leaving his shoulders and upper body totally exposed. Several layers of ruffles, all trimmed in blue, fell down from his modest breasts, giving way to a white belt that gathered at the waist, with the dress flowing in pleats to accentuate the hips.

“Let me see how I look,” he asked, realizing he was now showing strong eagerness to view himself as a girl.

“Not yet, Karen,” Carla said. “We need to fix your hair.”

After much brushing, the strategic placement of some barrettes and the development of bangs, they were done. Emily produced also a pair of white pumps with short heels.

“Won’t I wear stockings?” he asked.

“No, it’s summertime, girls don’t usually wear stockings in summer,” Emily said.

They applied some lipstick and gloss, a bit of mascara and some eyeliner, but kept the application modest. “You don’t wanna look like a whore,” Emily said.

When they were done, the three girls applauded. “She’s a real beauty,” said Mary.

“But she looks 12 years old,” commented Carla.

“No she doesn’t,” argued Mary.

“Let me see,” Kenny begged.

They finally did let him look in the mirror. He stood shocked at the sight that greeted him from the mirror surface. Suddenly he remembered a phrase his grandma often used when seeing a pretty girl, “She’s cute as a button.” He had to admit the girl in the mirror certainly was “cute as a button.”

*****
“Who’s the prettiest of these two?” Mary asked the other girls once Jimmie returned. He wore a yellow, sleeveless print sundress with pastel greens and blue flowers. The dress hung straight and ended just at the top of his thighs, exposing shapely legs. He wore flats on his feet and shuffled along like a teen girl, using tiny, quick steps.

“Jamie’s just the tiniest thing, isn’t she?” Carla said.

The boy giggled and in a coy movement brought his hand up to his mouth in mock shock.

“But I think Karen makes a more striking girl of the two,” Emily said, obviously defending her handiwork in feminizing Kenny.

Kenny blushed, still not used to the attention he was getting now that he was a girl. Jimmie, it was obvious, loved the attention, probably because he had been acted outwardly so girlishly most of his life.

“She’s so cute when she blushes,” Carla said referring to Kenny. “I just don’t know which is the prettier; they’re both very lovely girls.”

“Let’s walk around the campus, maybe stop at the Full Cup, and see if anyone guesses who these girls are,” Mary said.

“Yeah, the Full Cup should be busy tonight, like most Saturday nights,” Carla said. “We can just say Jamie and Karen are visiting for the weekend if anyone asks.”

Kenny shook his head and said loudly, “No.”

“No, what?” Carla said.

“I’m not going out like this,” he said. “Somebody’s bound to notice.”

“Notice what? That you’re a boy? No way, Karen,” it was Carla responding.

“You’re more girly than I am,” Mary said. “And you, too, Jamie.”

“Yes, Karen, let’s do it,” Jimmie said. “Why not? It’ll be fun.”

*****
There was still plenty of daylight left, since it was the summer solstice and the sunset was just after 9 p.m. The six girls walked around the St. Albert’s campus, giggling, sometimes skipping and generally acting up. They deliberately walked toward the sports complex, where a summer basketball camp was in full session; hundreds of teen boys lounged around the steps to the sports dormitory, and sent catcalls and whistles toward the girls as they walked by.

Kenny blushed when he heard some boy yell out, “I want the blondie. She’s hot.” Since he had the blondest hair of the group, he was obviously the target of the remark.

“Look at the tiny one,” said another, referring without question to Jimmie.

“See you two girls really bring out the horny boys,” Mary said.

“We should be jealous, none of them talk about us real girls,” Carla said.

“Ah they’re still high school boys,” Sally said with a giggle. “What do they know about older women?”

The six girls, of course, all beginning their first or second year of college, were only a year or two older than the boys.

The Full Cup — a known student hangout and coffee shop — was nearly full, but just as the six Bard’s Girls entered a table near the entrance open up, and Carla quickly claimed it, commandeering an extra chair from an adjoining table. Their entrance attracted lots of looks, mainly from the boys in the room; there was a general rumble of conversation in the room, somewhat drowning out the folksinger whose voice and guitar riffs was coming through the shop’s sound system.

Kenny wanted to crawl under a table, but realized he and the other five were being examined by several sets of young male eyes; he wasn’t used to such scrutiny, since he usually tried to melt into the background, always afraid to attract attention for what he felt was a sorry, looking body. Carla and Mary — still quite attractive in spite of their tall and husky size — always drew attention, but now it seemed the two newest girls — Karen and Jamie — were being sized up.

Could anyone tell the two were boys underneath their feminine appearance, Kenny worried? The girls all said no one would give it a thought, that both were so clearly feminine. Kenny wasn’t sure.

Carla and Kenny went up first to place their order, leaving the others to hold the table; they’d order when the two returned. They stood in line awaiting the barista so they could place their order, when Kenny saw the front door open and felt a shudder as he saw that his roommate, Mark, had entered with another boy, a tallish boy, obviously from the basketball camp.

Kenny shuffled himself so that he could use Carla to shield himself from the eyes of Mark.

“What’s going on Karen?” Carla asked, wondering about his strange behavior.

“Mark just came in,” he whispered.

“So what,” she said.

“God he’s my roomie, he’ll know me. Oh this is awful.”

“He’ll never figure it out, Karen,” she said. “Don’t worry about it, and it’s time to order. The barista wants your order.”

Kenny wasn’t so sure Mark wouldn’t figure out the truth, but, faced with the barista waiting for his order, he went ahead and ordered a skinny vanilla latté, which he felt was really the kind of drink a pretty girl would order.

“Oh my God,” Kenny mumbled to Carla as they returned to the table with drinks. “Mark’s at the next table, next to where we’re sitting.”

“Trust me, he’ll never know, Karen,” she reassured him. “Be your sweet girly self, dear. Remember you’re my cousin from Milwaukee, just visiting for the weekend.”

“Hi Carla,” Mark said, as the two sat down. It turned out that Kenny, as Karen, found himself sitting almost butt-to-butt with Mark in the crowded coffee shop.

Carla leaned over in front of Kenny to reply.

“Hey Mark, who’s your friend?”

“Oh that’s my little brother, Jeremy,” the boy said with a smile, since the “little brother” towered over Mark by about six inches. “He’s still in high school and he’s here for the basketball camp. Dad just dropped us off from the Brewers game in Milwaukee today.”

Kenny tried to ignore the conversation going on in front of his face, but Mark then added, ‘Who’s this pretty girl with you?”

“That’s my cousin, Karen,” she said, smiling. “She’s just visiting for the weekend.”

“Nice meeting, you Karen,” Mark said smiling.

Kenny merely smiled back, saying nothing, afraid his voice — even though it had definite feminine characteristics — might give him away to his roommate.

“And who’s the other new girl with you?” Mark asked.

‘Oh that’s Jamie, a friend of Karen’s who came along.”

“Hi Jamie,” Mark said.

Jamie responded with an outlandish, overly feminine wave, exclaiming , “Hi there, honey, aren’t you a darling?”

Kenny wanted to slap his friend for such overtly demonstrative replies, but he realized Jamie loved being flamboyant and sometimes “over the top.” Yet, such demonstrations might draw attention and possibly expose the charade, since Mark is in the same class as both of them.

*****
Mark, however, seemed more attentive to Karen than to the more colorful Jamie, moving his chair and positioning it so that their legs almost touched. So determined to be as totally feminine as possible, Kenny sat with his hands in his lap, reaching up only to take his latté to take short sips. He looked down at his hands seeking to ignore Mark’s obvious interest in him, studying his own hands realizing how slender and smooth they were and how narrow and dainty his wrists were.

“Hope you’re enjoying you visit this weekend?” Mark questioned, aiming directly at Kenny.

“Yes, Carla’s been very nice to me,” Kenny replied, his voice soft and tentative. He did not look at Mark, but kept his head down.

“You in college there in Milwaukee?” he pressed.

“Home for the summer,” Kenny mumbled, keeping his answer curt, hoping the boy would leave.

“You in college?”

“Madison,” Kenny said, which was true. He was to start his freshman year at the University of Wisconsin’s main campus in fall.

“What you studying?”

“Boys and beer.”

“Oh,” Mark said triumphantly. “She has a sense of humor, too.”

Kenny turned to Carla, who sat silently during this exchange, pleading in a whisper. “Tell him to go away.”

“No, deal with it, girl,” she said softly, quickly adding out loud in a voice aimed at Mark. “Oh, Mark, she’s in pre-Arabic studies, but I think she’s got boys studying her.”

“Wow,” Mark said. “A brainy one and so pretty, too. Bet she’s got plenty of boys after her.”

Kenny scowled, wanting to kick Carla under the table. Arabic studies! He had trouble keeping track of who were the Sunnis and who were the Shiites.

“Come on, Karen, lighten up and talk to me,” Mark continued.

Kenny found it difficult not to smile at how hard Mark was trying to hit on him; he wondered what would happen should the boy tumble onto the fact that the lovely girl next to him was his own roommate. The results might not be so funny, a thought that sobered Kenny, realizing how close he might be to disaster.

“Thank you,” Kenny finally said. “You seem nice, but I got a boy friend.” It was a lie, of course, but somehow he had to get rid of Mark before he understood the truth.

Mark didn’t answer at first, looked more closely at Kenny, who could feel his gaze. “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” the boy asked. “There’s something familiar about you.”

Kenny merely shook his head “no.”

“I must have. I’m sure I have. You waitress or something in Madison. I get there for Badger games.”

“No, we’ve never met,” Kenny said.

“I think we have. I’ll remember it soon, I’m sure.”

It was Mark’s younger brother who came to the rescue. “Come on, Mark, can’t you see she’s not interested?”

“I think she is, Jeremy. Look at her, I think she’s going to smile. Really.” Mark was adamant.

“Come on, let’s get out of here, Mark,” the younger boy repeated.

Mark found a pen in his pocket, grabbed a cocktail napkin, scribbled something on it and handed the napkin to Carla. “If she changes her mind, either you or she can call me,” he instructed Carla. “I’d love to talk with her some more.”

Carla nodded, and the two boys got up and readied themselves to leave. Before going, he tapped Kenny on the shoulder, saying, “Stay as pretty as you are, dear. Bye.”

Kenny let out a sigh of relief as the two left the Full Cup. All eyes were on Kenny as they walked out, and Kenny realized he was blushing profusively.

“Did you see that?” Mary Lindstrom asked. “He only had eyes for Karen.”

“And he dismissed all the real girls,” Carla added. “What does that say for us?”

“It’s our own fault,” Sally said. “We made these two so pretty.”

“No, Sally,” Emily said. “Those two were pretty to start with. I think Karen is more of a girl than most of us.”

Kenny grew flushed as they talked, still holding his head down, eyeing his hands at rest on his barren thighs, envisioning himself now as a complete young woman, soft, comely and so enticing for eager boys.

*****
Kenny tried to avoid returning to his room as long as possible that night, hoping Mark might be sound asleep if he stayed out late enough. Then, he wouldn’t have to confront the boy who had admired him so effusively as he masqueraded as Karen. He hung around with Carla as long as he could, changing back into his boy clothes.

“Have I got rid of all the makeup on my face?” he asked Carla.

“I think so,” she replied, “But I think you’re face looks smoother than before, and you can’t help seeing how we trimmed your brows a bit.”

He more closely in the mirror, wondering if his face still exposed its feminine traits, creamy skin and overall generally lovely complexion. He smiled, realizing he truly had a beautiful face; and his hair, which the girls had set a bit with conditioner, still held it curls, adding to the impression. He had showered, too, hoping to remove the scent of the sweet smelling soaps and lotions, as well as the light shot of perfume that the girls had put on him. Despite all his efforts, he thought he could still smell a whiff of the flowery scent from his body, but he hoped it was so faint no one else would notice.

“You should pass now to be acceptable on the boy’s floor,” Carla said, laughing.

“But will Mark notice anything?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. You were so totally convincing, Karen.”

“You better not slip and call me that around anyone else now,” he said. “I went along with your play-acting just for fun, but enough’s enough.”

“Awww, you loved it,” she said.

He blushed. Must he always blush so quickly?

*****
It was after 10 o’clock when Kenny returned to his room, far too early for his roommate to be sleeping, but Kenny couldn’t delay the return any longer. To his relief, the room was dark when he opened the door and his roomie was gone. He went quickly to the bathroom, examining himself again to assure that he had removed all traces of Karen. Satisfied, he returned to the room, put on a CD featuring legendary jazz pianist Oscar Peterson and lay down on his back on his bed, his hands folded behind his head.

His mind drifted into his role as Karen earlier in the day, reflecting how comfortable he felt with the other girls, how in effect both he and Jamie had become one of them, giggling alternately with some serious moments of reflections on the dreams that young ladies might have. He had to admit he felt so content in the role as Karen, and when Mark and his brother met them at the Full Cup, he had felt so fearful, yet excited and pleased that he attracted so much praise for his beauty and femininity.

“Am I not really a girl?” he asked himself. A silent question, to be sure, but it reverberated in his head like the rap of a forge hammer.

His reverie was interrupted as Mark entered the room, exclaiming: “Hey Kenny, how’s it hanging?”

“Hi Mark, you see a good ball game today?” he asked, more to make conversation than to care about the answer. He never did understand the fascination most guys seemed to feel about following the Brewers or any other baseball team.

“Oh, they won, Gallardo pitched a three-hitter, and Braun hit a homer,” Mark said. “It was exciting.”

“Good,” Kenny replied. “Do you want me to turn off the CD?”

“Oh I’m getting use to that jazz stuff. You can keep it on, and I kinda like this guy on the piano.”

“You mean Oscar Peterson? He’s the best.”

“Never heard of him, but then I bet you never heard of Fielder either.”

“Oh I heard the name, but don’t know anything about him,” Kenny admitted.

“Seems we both got lots to learn,” Mark said, removing his shirt, exposing his muscled body.

Mark left the room, obviously going to the bathroom, and Kenny’s thoughts turned to relive his day as Karen. It had gone smoothly, and no one obviously suspected his charade. His mind raced to Mark and how the boy had hit upon him as the most fetching and attractive girl at the table. Soon, his daydreaming had him nestled in the arms of a naked boy named Mark, his soft body wrapped in the hard, sinewy body of this gentle, sweet boy. Oh yes, Mark was so sweet and gentle, in spite of his obvious physical strength. How marvelous it would be to be kissing this boy, to feel his hot breath upon his neck and his hands caressing his smooth skin!

“Oh I met this really hot girl, too,” Mark said as he entered the room.

The boy wore only a pair of boxer briefs, and Kenny looked at him, marveling at his exquisite male frame.

“Oh?” Kenny responded simply, hoping his roommate wouldn’t notice how flushed his face had become.

“She was kinda shy, but so pretty,” he went on. “She’s a cousin of Carla’s, from Milwaukee. But she wouldn’t give me her number, but I told Carla to work on her, and maybe she’d relent someday. And I live in Milwaukee and maybe I could see her sometime.”

“Oh, what’s her name?”

“Kind of an ordinary name. Karen.”

“Oh that’s a pretty name,” Kenny replied. “Maybe a bit out of fashion now.”

“Doesn’t matter what her name is. She was so hot.”

“You must be in love.”

Mark laughed. “Well, it’s too early for that. For all I know she’s going to be a nun, but my brother Jeremy had to drag me out of the Full Cup.”

“Maybe she’ll show up again sometime.”

Mark sat down at his desk, pulling out a copy of the script for Hamlet and began to study it a bit. He had been planning to audition for the lead part and had trouble memorizing some of the longer soliloquies. Kenny pulled out his copy of the same script, ostensibly to read for the part of Laertes, but his mind wandered, reliving the moments — as he had done a few minutes earlier — of Mark’s unsuccessful flirtation with Karen.

“What’s that smell, Kenny?” Mark said suddenly.

“What smell?”

“Like perfume.”

Mark got up from his chair and wandered over toward Kenny. He sniffed the air.

“It’s stronger here,” he said. “Is that you? Are you wearing perfume, or what?”

“Me?” Kenny said, feigning innocence.

“Well, it’s not me. And, you know what. It smells like the same scent that girl had on.”

“Something’s wrong with your nose, Mark,” Kenny said.

“No, I know what I smell,” he said, bending down over Kenny, looking closely into Kenny’s face, his eyes then following down to Kenny’s legs, which lay naked, since he also wore boxer briefs.

Kenny looked at his roommate’s face, now showing great puzzlement, afraid of what the boy might be thinking and that if he suspected the truth he wondered what Mark might do to him.

“You’re that girl,” Mark said suddenly. “You’re Karen.”

“No I’m not,” Kenny said, turning onto his side, his back to Mark.

“You don’t fool me,” Mark said, and with his hand gripping Kenny’s shoulder pulled him into a sitting position. “Oh my God yes, look at your legs, just like Karen’s. And your eyes, I’ve never seen a girl with such sparkling eyes and yours are just like hers. You’re Karen, I know it.”

“No,” Kenny said, suddenly beginning to cry, his sobs growing and his body shaking, as he was not sure as to what lies ahead.

Soon Mark sat on the bed and put his arm around Kenny, firmly but gently drawing the sobbing boy next to him, patting his shoulder with affection. Kenny’s sobs for a few minutes seemed to rise with intensity, but soon subsided as he settled into the firm hold of the other boy.

Mark then did an unexpected move, taking Kenny’s head, gently raising it and kissing Kenny’s lips. It was a brief kiss, but so tender that Kenny melted back into the other’s arms, finding comfort in the loving embrace of the other boy.

“Oh Mark, you don’t think I’m a pervie or something like that?”

“No, dear, I know it sounds weird, but I’m so happy Karen is real.”

“But she’s not real, Mark. She was just an afternoon lark, cooked up by Carla and the other girls. One of the girls there was Jimmie, you know. They talked us into joining their club, called the ‘Bard’s Girls’ and we just kinda went along with the gag.”

“Oh the noisy one,” Mark said, with a laugh.

“Yes, her. I mean him.”

“Let me ask you something,” Mark began. “Do you want to be a girl? Are you like transgendered?”

“I don’t think so,” Kenny said, thinking. “This was the first time I ever dressed so fully. The girls insisted Jimmie and I dress up for them. When I was little, I did wear my sister’s stuff sometimes, but just around the house. Nothing serious.”

Mark released Kenny from his hold and stood up.

“Well, I like you as Kenny, my roommie, but I have to admit I think I liked Karen more. I’d like to see more of her.”

“Mark, are you sure? We’re not gay, are we?” Kenny said.

“No dear, when you were Karen, I was looking at you as only a girl,” he said. “And now, I still feel you’re like a girl. So how can we be gay?”

Kenny nodded. He had nothing against gays and didn’t think he liked boys, but every so often he dreamed he was a girl and it then he felt the need to be hugged and kissed by a boy like Mark. As Karen, he realized his dreams likely would be answered.