Author's Note: This retcon is of the Top Cow Character The Magdalena and Lara Croft. All rights are reserved to Top Cow Comics. Thank you ahead of time for any comments, questions, or critiques that you might leave afterward.

Chapter Two

Most of the trip across the Atlantic was spent with me staring out the window at my last chance, for a while anyway, of finishing my journey into womanhood. There was no way I’d trust another doctor in the near future. If Lara’s rigorous standards of security weren’t enough to stop the Church from inserting their people into that clinic then I had pretty much lost any hope of being free.

That’s what I thought of when I imagined coming out of the recovery room, you know; freedom. Escape from the binding masculinity that held me back from being the person I knew I was inside. So, I was still trapped and I’d wake up every morning and see things I didn’t want to see. It was an unimaginable pain that couldn’t be soothed.

“Patience?”

Turing to Lara, who was now seated beside me, I wiped at my tear trails. “Hmm?”

“We’ll find another doctor. I already have Zip screening potentials and their families for…”

I shook my head. “I can’t do it… not now.”

She smiled sadly at me. “Of course you can. I know how much you’ve been looking forward to this. We’re not going to let a bunch of idiots in Italy tell us what we can or cannot do.”

“You don’t understand. I can’t do it. If I try it again I’m just going to freak out. I won’t be helpless like that again. If they had taken me away from you…”

Lara’s eyes flashed with anger. “Then I would have torn apart the Vatican brick by brick, room by room, Cardinal by Cardinal until you were found. You will not be held against your will again, Patience. I won’t allow it.”

I ducked my head and stared at my hands. The knife I used against one of the fake nurses was still in my grip. A smear of blood dried on the blade.

“That was a very nice move of yours. I dare say that man will think twice before putting his feet anywhere near you again.” Reaching over she took my empty hand and threaded her fingers with mine. “Let’s go to the back and clean your dagger. We wouldn’t want it to rust. It would be somewhat difficult to replace in the near future.”

We moved to the back and Lara dug into one of the cabinets to retrieve a cleaning kit. When we seated ourselves behind a bench table I started to work methodically ridding the blade of the dried blood and then oiling it properly and wiping it down before placing it in its sheath.

Lara watched throughout the process and I could see the appreciation in her eyes as I set the sheathed blade on the table.

“I don’t want you to be put in this position anymore, Patience.”

Glancing up at her, I didn’t know specifically what she was talking about. “I don’t understand.”

She set her hands flat on the table and peered into my eyes. “Cardinal Innocent knows who you are now. I have a suspicion that something has happened to make the Pope go against his word to me, something important enough to take drastic steps in order to apprehend you.”

I swallowed, knowing what was coming. We’d have to separate. I was putting her life in danger by being close.

“From this day on, until this is settled, you will be donning full armor and weapons.”

I blinked and my mouth may have dropped open a little. “What?”

She smirked slightly. “If the Church wants to play games then I’ll teach them a new one.”

My mouth went a little dry and I attempted to wet my lips. “I can’t walk around with guns and swords, Lara. I may not have been born in the States, but even I know that people don’t walk around in Ten Gallon Hats and six shooters on their hips, even if they are from Texas.”

Lara looked to the front of the plane and then flipped a switch on the intercom. “Zip, would you bring it back?”

When her stare returned to me it was with an amused smile attached. “There are a few laws that we can take advantage of, Patience. Something that I don’t normally flaunt, which you already know, is that I am in the Royal line of succession. Granted, being thirty-fifth in line to the throne would make my chances virtually unheard of, but it does grant me the international privilege of having my own security staff.”

Zip made his way down the center cabin isle with a leather package in his grip. He passed it off to Lara and was thanked before returning to his seat. I was a little distracted by his return trip. The boy had a serious addiction to very tight jeans of which I was utterly appreciative for.

Lara cleared her throat.

“Sorry.” I felt my face go red as I ducked my head.

“I’m not that old, Patience. Let’s keep our heads about us, yes?”

By this time I was thoroughly mortified, but I persevered and centered my eyes on the leather portfolio that she was unzipping.

“I had this prepared as a late birthday present for your return to the manor, but now is a better time I think.”

Inside were various documents, some of which I recognized, one being a British passport. Another had the seal of the House of Windsor on the cover. I took it out and opened it to see my picture and documentation that informed any law enforcement that I was the Head of Security for The Right Honourable Lara Croft, the 11th Countess of Abbingdon, blah blah blah. I was to be afforded all the rights and privileges given to any security of a foreign dignitary.

My eyes tracked up to hers. “I’m your bodyguard?”

Lara narrowed her eyes a little with a touch of humor in them. “Head of Security. It means you have a certain amount of diplomatic immunity. That doesn’t mean you can go about and break the local laws willy-nilly. What it does mean is that you may carry whatever weapons you and I deem necessary to perform your duties.”

Closing it up, I waved it a little between my fingers. “How did you manage this?”

“It wasn’t that difficult. While wearing that uniform you have the same sort of privilege that is recognized by nearly every government in the world. Normally, the Church would support you, but seeing as how they are being difficult, I thought it best to support you myself.”

I let that settle in my brain for almost an entire minute.

“So I’m outing myself to the Church?” I said.

“No, Patience, you’re outing yourself to the world. The Church thinks they can intimidate you and put pressure on me through violence. They think that I favor secrecy. So I’m responding in an unpredictable way. By having you out there, with me, you’ll become very visible. By being in your uniform, people will know who you are.”

I smiled conspiratorially. “So if the Church tries their kidnapping trick again…”

“Exactly. They’ll be exposed along with all of their secrets. I’ve already made sure of it.”

“You’re a very devious person, Lara.”

She sniffed lightly. “Nobody takes what is mine. If they try to then they have to accept the consequences.”

My throat tightened and my eyes started to burn. “Thank you.”

Lara shifted slightly and gestured to the front. “Go get dressed. We want your premiere to be as public as possible. So that means everything, Patience.”

I leaned over quickly and kissed her cheek before jumping up and dashing to the small section of the plane she had closed off as a private office. I came to a stuttering stop and then reversed direction to grab my forgotten dagger, to Lara’s amusement.

~O~

The plane landed about an hour later. I was in full regalia, complete with a fitted top and bottom, armor for the shoulders, shins, forearms, and partial gauntlets. Knives were stashed, two at my boot sheaths, two at the thigh sheaths and one hidden. The various pockets on my utility belt were loaded down with untold amount of bladed weapons. On either hip I sported a single Walther P99 and my main blades were secure. In short, I looked like someone that you probably didn’t want to mess with.

Over it all was my mother’s traveling cloak, in black with a red lining sporting a very large red and gold cross on the back.

People were likely to think that Lara was making a religious statement by having me dress this way, but the truth would eventually out, as always.

In the remaining time it took to land and deplane I was briefed as to my acting role. I’d defer all questions to her and look like I was scanning the area for threats. We both knew she could more than take care of herself in any instance. It was simply for show.

“Put your hood up. It looks more menacing,” Lara said.

It was a very large billowing hood meant for total coverage if the circumstance warranted, but I only pulled it three-quarters of the way forward so that I wouldn’t have much of a blind spot. However with it up, I felt like a nun, a warrior nun. Yes, I have a sad imagination.

Zip handled the door and stairs before I stepped off first and waited for Lara to catch up.

VIPs are handled differently at airports, in case you were wondering. They have an area set aside for customs that ensures important people don’t have to wait in line or be interrogated by someone that has little experience about our purpose in traveling.

However, they still have armed security that was looking very nervous at our approach. Protocol dictated that they be informed via radio of what to expect. That was probably the only reason why we weren’t being drawn down upon at that moment. Any way you chose to look at it, I kept my hands away from the pistols and instead rested my left on the scabbard of the Katana, angling it for a quick side draw if needed.

I wasn’t particularly paranoid or anything. That’s just how I was trained.

Everything, action or inaction, had a purpose. My scabbard was facing backward so that a quick draw would immediately put me in a striking position without having to draw then adjust my stance and handling of the weapon.

I’ve improved with the thing over the last year, enough to be proficient, but still not in Lara’s league. Needless to say, the P99s and shurikens were my most proficient weapons. After numerous cuts and untold hours of practice, I’d finally learned the art of throwing razor sharp pieces of metal around. I could hit a bull’s-eye on my targets seven times out of ten, and within an inch of target for the remaining three.

The guard’s hands were a simple reflex of their pistol grips from being pulled.

I stared them down, but gave a look of mild disinterest at the same time. You try to work that facial feature without looking like an idiot and tell me how it well you can do it.

One of them opened the door and I entered the small office to see a guard inside, behind a counter with an official looking government type standing next to him.

I was eyed from head to toe before Lara had a chance to enter, but when she did, all eyes went to her. She’s that beautiful. It’s incredibly hard not to look at her when she enters a room.

“Lady Croft. It’s a pleasure to have you in New York again.”

She gave him a smile. “It is a pleasure to be here, Charles. How is your family?”

While she was schmoozing with the customs agent, I pulled out my passport and security identification.

“Patience,” she said.

Stepping forward I set them on the counter and waited for them to be stamped.

“You are aware of how much attention your guard will be attracting, Lady Croft? It’s not tradition to display such… hardware in public.”

“But well within the guidelines afforded me, Charles.”

He nodded a single time. “Very true. It’s just a fair warning. You can probably expect to be stopped a number of times by local law enforcement for your credentials, Miss De la Croix.”

That caused me to pause for a moment. Not the warning, but the name he used. I’d gone for two years being Marie Ferro and in the span of an hour all of that was behind me. I was Patience de la Croix once again.

Without saying anything I scooped up the ID.

Zip came in and dropped his passport on the counter. “Limo’s here and it checks out.”

Lara turned to me. “Patience.”

She could say so much to me with a single word. I led her out to the limo, and watched her and Zip jump in before whipping my cloak dramatically for the guards and joined them.

“That was interesting,” I said.

“You did well, Patience.”

Pulling the hood back I relaxed into the seat. “Where are we going now?”

“Into the city. I want maximum exposure tonight before we move on.”

Zip opened his laptop as I brought my eyes back to Lara. “We’re leaving again so soon?”

“Mmm. Whirlwind tour across the America’s largest cities. Chicago tomorrow, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Los Angeles, and then we’ll see.”

“All for the Church’s benefit?”

She shrugged. “For the most part. The sooner we secure your safety from them, the better.”

I adjusted my scabbards. Swords and modern transportation aren’t really complimentary toward one another.

“What I don’t get is why they still want me. At the clinic, they should have realized that I can’t really…” Sparing a glance at Zip, I altered my observation. “Um… you know.”

All chances of conceiving a child pretty much went away on my seventeenth birthday much like my testicles. There would be no more sperm for me to produce. Granted, I had three dozen samples of baby juice on ice if I ever wanted a child, but they didn’t know that. Plus, the Church frowns on artificial insemination. Of course they used to frown on nuns having sex with minors as well. Times change I suppose.

“That is a curiosity,” she said.

A moment later Lara had a phone in her hand. “Lara Croft calling.”

I raised my eyebrows with interest and then tried to follow the conversation from her side.

“Hello Joseph.”

“…”

“Yes, we do have a problem. I don’t appreciate being threatened with automatic weapons in the middle of London.”

“…”

“Put simply, Joseph, if you ever try to kidnap my ward again I will have to come at you with everything. That includes the world media, the weight of the British government, and me personally. You really do not want me knocking on your bedroom door in the middle of the night, do you?”

“…”

Lara chuckled. “Threats do not become your Holiness. We had a deal and you chose to end it. You will not be receiving the Ark.”

My eyes widened at what she was talking about.

“Patience is not yours, she is mine, and she is an adult to do as she sees fit. Surely your plants in the clinic told you she is no longer able to produce what you require. They’re gone, Joseph, along with your plans to control her.”

I saw Zip shift uncomfortably and brush between his legs. So much for keeping what we were talking about under wraps.

“…”

Lara chuckled again, somewhat evilly. “You can try, however I would suggest you enact whatever plan you have within the next ten minutes.”

“…”

“Because, Joseph, Patience de la Croix is about to go viral and become untouchable.”

“…”

“It’s a pop culture term, not a disease. Have one of your underlings explain it to you. Perhaps Cardinal Innocent can help. Have a nice night.”

She flipped her phone closed. “Any questions?”

I shook my head. “I think I caught the gist of the conversation. He still wants me.”

An annoyed look dropped over her face. “Yes, and I am very curious as to why?”

Zip dropped the lid to his laptop closed and smiled with contentment. “It’s done. By morning you should be the talk of the town.”

That last part was directed to me. “What?”

It was then that Lara decided to let me in on her plan. “I’ve directed Zip to compile a comprehensive history of your heritage, along with the Church’s recent plans for your disposition and that of your future children.”

My reply was immediate and somewhat panicked. “You’re outing me to the entire world?”

Her mouth froze for a moment and I could see the surprise on her face. “Patience, you’ve never kept your status a secret. I assumed…”

“That’s my decision to make!”

Zip reached over and set his hand on mine which, for some reason, brought me up short and calmed me. “Girl, do you know how easy it is to find out anything about someone nowadays?”

I looked at him with worry in my eyes.

“All I have to do is type in your name for a general Google search. Patience de la Croix isn’t exactly a common name. They’d have found out anyway. This way we control what gets out and spin it in our favor.”

“But…”

“You don’t have anything to worry about, honey. By morning you’ll be the one lone voice rising up against centuries of tyranny perpetrated on your family. The fact that you changed your sex will be a side note, because the story is more important to the people out there.”

I frowned at the mention of my gender status, one of the most important decisions I’d ever made in my life, being referred to as a side note. Before I said anything else, he opened his laptop and spun it around for me to see.

“I made a two hour documentary. The first hour is dedicated to your ancestors and how their fight was honored by the Church. The second hour is how Cardinal Innocent and the current Pope have abused their power and your status. Their involvement in your mother’s murder and your subsequent kidnapping follows. A second hour long installment is about your escape and life over the last two years. It’s all pretty riveting if I do say so myself.”

All I could say was that the screen caps were pretty nice. I’d have to watch the entire thing to give an honest opinion though. Zip seemed pretty proud of the production.

“I want to see it,” I said.

He nodded. “A laptop will be in your room tonight with the link bookmarked. I put it up on YouTube, sent it to all the major news organizations, the Discovery and History channels, and most of the major boards across the web. The Church won’t be able to use its influence to shut this one down.”

Postponing the argument I was going to have, I just looked back at Lara. “Don’t do something like that again without talking to me about it.”

She gave me a conciliatory nod. “You’re right. I apologize. It won’t happen again.”

The movement of the limo was slowing and I looked out the window. “Why are there a bunch of people with cameras at the entrance?”

Zip raised his hand. “That would be my fault. Lara’s a low profile person. I leaked a few emails to the paparazzi.”

Spinning my head around, I looked at her then raised my hood. The door personnel were already upon the limo. I really didn’t have much time to ask any more questions because I had some acting to do.

Quickly, I arranged my swords and as soon at the door opened I stepped out and eyed the small crowd. Those that were closest got one look at my small arsenal of weapons and took a cautious step back, but that didn’t stop the barrage of flashes that assaulted me. It didn’t stop the questions that were being thrown either.

Most of them were unintelligible because everyone was shouting at once so I ignored them and just glared. Before Lara had a chance to get out, I shut the door and stood there, one hand on my Katana and the other on the P99.

The questions kept coming a mile a second and the flashes had virtually killed my vision. The only thing I could see were black shapes. After they realized I wasn’t talking the flashes started dying down and they grew mostly quiet.

“Are you finished?” I asked in a normal tone of voice.

They looked at each other. I don’t think that anyone had ever treated them this way. From what I’ve seen of celebrities, they either whore themselves for the cameras to further their career or they get upset because they entered a profession where their lives are exposed and they can’t figure out that its part of their job to whore themselves for the cameras to further their career. To have someone stand there, not posing and not trying to slap their cameras away, well, I suppose it threw them off their game.

“Please step back. The Countess would like to enter the hotel.”

A couple of flashes went off again and I glared at the redhead that did the deed.

Once a relatively wide space was provided I opened the door to the limo, Lara stepped out and we quickly made our way through the resuming assault of light and noise.

~O~

I watched the two hour documentary on my ancestors and was pretty impressed by the amount of detail that Zip had uncovered. He was able to go back to the 1600’s to the first recorded De la Croix that worked with the Church in their fight against true Evil. The records before that went even further, back to the early 1400’s, but there wasn’t anything official that told whether or not my ancestors were doing anything other than living their lives.

By the time the credits were rolling at the end, I was too tired to watch anymore.

The next morning I shuffled out in my bunny slippers and PJ’s to the table that was set up for breakfast. Zip was sitting at the work area giving me a nervous look, but I was too tired to comment on anything. Jet lag seriously sucked.

Lara was nearing the midpoint of her morning meal, looking refreshed, as always.

I glanced around the table noticing something was missing. My guardian had a system of doing things. In the morning she read the newspaper while she ate one three-minute egg, a rasher of bacon, and half a grapefruit with her tea. It was a constant, never changing fact of life.

That morning there was no newspaper.

“What happened?” I asked with a sense of wariness.

She set her fork down and patted at her lips with her cloth napkin.

“Things took an odd turn, Patience. Have a seat.”

I nearly groaned and dropped onto the chair. “Let me see the worst one.”

“This isn’t anything that we can’t spin…”

“Lara,” I nearly snapped. “I’m somewhat cranky before my first cup of tea. “Can we skip the pep talk, or do I need to go buy my own papers?”

She took my backtalk better than normal, which didn’t bode well for me. That meant the news was worse than I thought. Instead of saying anything further she bent down to the floor and returned with a handful of local papers.

Vatican Sex Scandal!

Cardinal’s Trist With Tranny!

Nun Wants Tranny’s Lovechild!

There were about five others, but I didn’t have the heart to read anymore. I felt my eyes start to burn and looked at the photos of me from the night before, one of them captioned with, It’s a Man, Baby!

“Well,” my voice cracked. “It can’t get much worse than this, can it?”

“Patience.” Lara’s voice was full of concern and pity.

I held up my hand while I stood. “I really don’t want to hear it right now. My life is pretty much ruined… so, um…yeah. I’m going to go get dressed. When are we leaving?”

“I’m going to make this right, Patience,” she said. “I have my lawyers…”

“Doing what, Lara? It’s true, all of it. I’m a tranny involved in some messed up sex scandal. It doesn’t matter that my mother’s name is going to be dragged through the mud or that I pretty much don’t have a future except for maybe a few runs on the talk shows or maybe a magazine article. Maybe I could write a tell-all book then do some porn.”

Before she said anything else I spun around and almost ran to my bedroom, slamming the door in my wake.

~O~

I triple checked my armor and weapons, trying my best to focus on what I could control and putting what I couldn’t at the back of my mind, but it was next to impossible.

It was spilled milk, uncontrollable and messy, but that milk was my life, thank you very much.

The trip to Atlanta was much the same, except Zip didn’t have a need to leak information to the press; they were everywhere, in droves. The stoic bodyguard routine didn’t work anymore either.

Lara was the side story and I was the object of interest, so the photographers filled their camera’s memory cards with me just standing there looking at them with an annoyed glare. The questions came fast and without a care in the world as to my feelings on the matter.

They’d done their research, watched Zip’s documentaries, and delved into my background as well as my mother’s. Then the questions became more intrusive and I became more close-lipped, not that I was saying anything before, but I’d be damned if I let them drag my mother into the circus that my life was becoming.

Lara tried twice more to apologize and make things right between us.

What was I supposed to say? It wasn’t entirely her fault that she badly misjudged the American press. The information that was out and about was all the truth. It was being exaggerated a little, but not by much. Reporters didn’t need to make up outlandish stories, because my life’s tale is strange enough as it is.

After a night at the Four Seasons in Atlanta, we led a train of paparazzi along the city streets to the airport and promptly lost them at the security gates. Once Zip and I made sure our luggage was loaded, we boarded the plane and made a direct flight to Houston’s Hobby airport. I stayed secluded in the front of the plane, separated from Lara and Zip so I could try to figure out what to do with my new life.

I was trapped between genders, with no hope of having my surgery completed by any reasonable timetable. My paranoia dictated as much. Sure, it was a little unrealistic. Now that my private life had been put on display for the world, it wouldn’t be in the Church’s best interest to kidnap me, especially on American soil, but it was still a valid fear.

Considering that I was the flavour of the month, at least until something more sensational came along, I didn’t have to wear my outfit and armour anymore. My face was already well known, so Lara arranged to have two business suits delivered. I still wore my pistols and a couple of daggers, but they were positioned in different places. Hopefully, I’d stick out less.

Lara’s face was grim and contrite whenever she looked at me. I knew she felt remorse for her failed idea. I also knew she was doing something behind the scenes to make up for it. I could always tell when she tried to fix her mistakes, because she made so very few of them. It must be nice to be virtually perfect in every way. Men wanted her and women wanted to be her. It sounds trite and cliché, but in her case it was true. What woman didn’t want to be in perfect physical shape, beautiful by anyone’s standards, possess an IQ that was near genius level, and a member of Britain’s peerage to boot? I may sound envious, and that would be a correct description of my feelings on the matter.

When the jet landed, we were escorted through security, but had to exit via the concourse because there was a raised level of threat for some reason.

At first, the only attention we received was because of Lara’s statuesque beauty. Most people gave her a second glance and ignored Zip and me as we strode along the concourse. I could see some people trying to place her face, like they’d seen it before, and odds were they had.

While most archaeologists, even the famous ones, aren’t recognized outside of their field, Lara was known for finding things that weren’t supposed to exist out of myth. Plus, she was hot. They even had a nickname for her; the Tomb Raider.

In her field, that’s a derogatory term. It basically means that she has no regard for the historical nature of a find, that’s she’s in it purely for the money or notoriety. I know for a fact that she doesn’t need any money. I also know that she usually shies away from the camera. It’s not that she’s afraid of the press; she’s just a private person. Maybe it’s a peerage thing.

When we reached the exit area where our limo was supposed to be waiting I’d spied three individuals that gave me pause enough to reach a hand out to my guardian.

“I see them too, Patience.”

A man and two women, or I should say a guy in his late twenties; a girl in her mid-twenties which by the look of her leather pants, nice turtle neck, severe bob cut and the rainbow colored belt, was his lesbian friend; and the young blonde wearing the camel colored trench coat was possibly a daughter or something. The thing was, the teen girl was standing in front like she was in charge.

Lara slowed her pace and then held her hand out when I set mine on my P99. “I know one of them. He’s an old acquaintance.”

That was Lara’s way of saying she bumped into them on one of her adventures and most likely had sex with him. It was either that or they tried to kill each other.

The automatic door slid apart when we approached and my guardian took the lead.

“Abraham,” she said. “Freelancing?”

The guy smiled at her. “Not quite, Lady Croft. Same job; different location.”

I could see her scanning the two girls out of the corner of my eye.

“Recruiting them a little young these days,” Lara said with a touch of distain in her voice. “No matter. Whatever you’ve heard, I’ve been on sabbatical for the last few years, Abraham. I don’t have whatever trinket you’re looking for.”

While I was definitely listening in on their conversation, I was also eying the blonde girl that was giving me the once over more than a few times.

“Do you have a problem?” I said as I tightened my grip on the P99.

She gave me a smirk and then grinned before she blatantly ignored me. “Abe we need to get a move on. Eyes and ears.”

Then she promptly turned around and headed to a Jeep that was parked in front of our limo, followed by the lesbian girl who left me with an arched eyebrow.

“Lady Croft,” Abraham said before he eyed me, “Miss De la Croix, we have good reason to believe that we’re being watched at the moment.”

I heard something click behind me and a staccato beeping sound. Zip growled.

“I’ve got transmitters in the area. Someone’s listening as well.”

When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw him flipping his wrist top computer closed as he was looking up at the light fixture above our heads.

“We have a secure location and something your protégé will be very interested in, if you wouldn’t mind following us.”

For a brief second, Lara looked like she was going to say something and then stopped before looking at me.

“I believe I’ve made enough mistakes these last few days, Patience. Let’s leave the decision in your hands.”

My mouth opened and then shut. I glanced at Abraham and then back to Lara. “Is he trustworthy?”

She smiled brightly. “Not in the least, but he is honourable.”

A glance at Zip and all I got was a shoulder shrug.

“I guess.”

Abraham nodded and then motioned toward the jeep. “Just follow us and we’ll explain everything when we get there.”

TBC...