When Poppy's grandfather dies, her father inherits his childhood home in Happy Springs, New Hampshire. He decides to take his three daughters from England on their first trip to the land of his birth to fix up the house as a potential summer home and give Poppy a break from some problems she's been having. He says it's an old house that just needs a little work to restore it back to its full glory. It's going to be fun fixing it up. Poppy isn't so sure...

 
*Fleur's View*
 

'C'mon, she'll be fine. She's with Ellie, neither of them are stupid enough to go anywhere with any guys... and frankly your brother makes a better looking girl than I do... let her have some fun and let us have some fun without dragging your little bro-- sister along behind us... besides, there is this hawt guy you need me to introduce you too...'

I awoke with a jolt, the springs on the bed squeaking under my sudden movement as I come to rest sitting upright. Taking a few moments to catch my breath, I let my eyes adjust to the gloom before reaching over to the nightstand beside the bed to check my phone.

Saturday, 3:30am.

That's just... peachy. Grabbing a pillow from behind me I pull it over my knees and lean into it, letting out a whisper scream of frustration knowing there is no way I'll get to sleep again after that memory being dragged into my dreams. I can't stop dreaming about 'what-ifs' and 'what-dids'. I hate that cat and I don't mean Fluffy.

Generally, I like cats. I like the West End musical, Top Cat and the actual fur covered bundles of feline superiority but there is one I've increasing come to dislike. I don't know the cat's name (or even if it had one) but I know the name of its owner, Erwin Schrá¶dinger, and his cat stars in every nightmare I've had for the last six months. What IF I had done things differently that night?

What IF... I had been a responsible big sister? I could have sent my underage sister and her best friend home from the pub with a flea in their ear after spotting them and their sixth form gaggle. Ellie and Poppy would have hated me for a few weeks but that would have been better than what actually happened and yeah I know it would have been hypocritical given my own undiscovered exploits at sixteen and seventeen but being a big sister is about passing on the lessons you learnt the hard way to spare your younger siblings from sharing your mistakes. If mum and dad knew half the stuff I did back then... well, I'd probably be grounded until I collected my pension.

What IF... I had listened to my instincts and stayed with my sister instead of listening to Martha and my hormones? The hawt guy that she hooked me up with that night might have had a great body but he had a brain so small that a stegosaurus would have felt smug in comparison. On top of that he was a truly awful fuck. No Wham, a rather undersized Bam and not even a "thank you ma'am"... which was particularly galling given he was the only one of us to get off that night. If I'd stayed with Poppy I certainly would have sent mister-too-smooth-by-far and his friends packing. If you spend your Saturday nights frequenting the pubs and clubs of London at sixteen like I did you learn the hard way to spot the dangerous ones. I was so lucky at sixteen, a child in the world of adults, I know that now. Ellie wasn't.

Intellectually, I know it's not all my fault. I know others played their parts, opening their boxes to set the cats of possibility running. What IF... Poppy hadn't been outed like she was to the whole world online by those idiots at school? That's the trouble with the 'net, once it's out there you have no way of knowing who gets to know about you.

Even worse, and I feel so guilty for even thinking this, What IF... Ellie hadn't been passing herself off as Poppy to mess with people that night? It... it... might have been Poppy that died that night. She was the intended target after all. How bad a person am I to feel relieved that my sister's best friend, someone who more of a sister to her than I ever was, died instead of Poppy?

I'm trying so hard to be a better big sister... trying to be more like Ellie in many ways... and just trying to be a better person... and yet I'm such a fraud. I've been making a show of being all smiles and jokes and trying to be French to Poppy's Saunders, hoping that no one notices the quiet desperation behind it. This isn't even really me. It's the empty shell of the old me, that happy-go-lucky carefree party girl Fleur. I don't know who I am anymore. I just... I just know I need to find a way to be a better person. Somehow.

What was it Poppy said to Daisy the other day? 'We get second chances not do-overs'. My do-overs may haunt my dreams but in my waking hours I need to grasp my second chances when they come along and maybe, just maybe, I might find my shot at redemption. I might find out who Fleur Elizabeth Haas really is, not who she thought she was. And maybe, just maybe, I might find out if I like her although I don't hold out much hope.

Wiping at my eyes, I reached for my laptop on the nightstand and powered it up. Logging onto the house's wireless network (yeah... beds, furniture and wireless - we were busy on Friday), I opened up my messenger to see mum's name showing as available. It's 8:30am back home so I guess she's having breakfast and checking her email like she always does.

My finger hovered over the touchpad on the laptop for a moment, the room silent except for the muted whir of the laptop fan and the soft tapping of my tears falling on the keypad. I just feel so alone right now. I need to speak to someone. More than anything I can't face three hours being stuck alone in a room with someone I dislike so much. Me.

Taking a deep breath, I wiped the back of my hand across my nose and clicked the touchpad to reveal my online status and then clicked again to accept the invitation from mum. I've only been gone a few days but my spirits soar at the image that appears in the opening pop-up window and I can't help but smile at the sight of her sitting in her dressing gown clutching at a mug of tea. I can faintly hear one of my brother's voices in the background, I think it might be Heath, which I assume means the boys are in the living room watching TV, playing Xbox or whatever it is that boys do on a Saturday morning.

"Fleur? Is that you honey? Is everything okay there?"

"I...."

"Fleur... it's too dark and I can't really see your face properly. Can you move closer? Is everything alright?"

"Oh yeah, it's all fine mum," I replied quickly wiping the tears away from my eyes before moving closer to the laptop. "My body clock is still out of synch that's all."

"Are you sure? You don't quite sound right."

I can't do it. I can't disappoint this wonderful woman who has such a high opinion of me by telling her what a fraud I am.

"The rooms a bit stuffy and I didn't want to open the windows at night. You should see the size of some of the bugs over here."

"Your father never mentioned anything about big bugs in New Hampshire," said my mother, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. It was a cheap shot to a phobia she has but I've seen mum work a courtroom and I learnt from her.

"Yeah... anyway... sooooo did River pass the test and get his new belt?"

The broad smile that breaks out across her face tells me all I need to know about my youngest brothers martial arts training.
 

~o~O~o~
 
"Morning Sleeping Beauty," I giggled, ruffling Poppy's hair as she stumbled into the kitchen. It's 7:30am local, which for Poppy is practically considered the crack of dawn. Meanwhile the judicious use of concealer helps make it look like I slept fairly soundly last night.

"Is that... bacon?" she asked, sniffing the air like a bloodhound despite her eyes still being half-closed. "I love bacon."

"I know. It's bacon. Grab a pew at the table," I reply. "I'm making Grandad Mortimer's signature bacon butty's... thick cut fresh bread lightly toasted so it is firm enough to hold but still soft enough inside to absorb the juices, three rashers of back bacon, a sliced tomato, a little sliced cucumber and ketchup. We couldn't find any proper brown sauce yesterday, so sorry about that. I've also got a fried egg left over if you want it?"

"Please."

"Great. It'll be a few minutes, so help yourself to the juice chilling in the fridge. Daisy... stop feeding Fluffy at the table please," I ordered, catching a red faced Daisy in mid-act of feeding the cat a piece of bacon. I choose to ignore the sulky tongue she stuck out at me before trying to cute kid pout her way out of trouble. Like that is going to work against the me, the undisputed queen of the daddy's little girl pout.

While preparing Poppy's butty I sneak a little bit of bacon for myself from the grill. It's nice enough, and maybe this is just me, but bacon always seems to taste better when you are hung over.

"So what's the plan for today?" I ask to the room as I crack an egg into the frying pan.

"We're going to Aunt Libby's store this afternoon," said my father with a sigh putting down the magazine he was reading. "I've agreed for Libby's sake to try and patch things up with Kathy, if she'll talk to me."

"What sort of shop does Aunt Libby own?" asked Poppy, sitting back down at the table with her juice. "Is it a local shop for local people?"

"Not in the sense you mean Poppy," chuckled dad. "Your Aunt owns a chain of stores across New Hampshire and the North East operating under the 'Live Free or Diet' name. They sell all the sorts of things that you'd find in a coffee shop except it's all made from scratch on the premises. Their signature food is cupcakes and cheesecakes if I remember what Libby was telling me."

"A chain? How many stores does she have?" I ask as I pop some bread into the toaster.

"Forty or so I think."

Huh. Self-made successful business woman from an influential old family and married to the Sheriff... yeah, I can see why Aunt Kathy is pushing the association with Aunt Libby.

"So is Aunt Libby loaded or something?" asked Poppy.

"I don't know about 'loaded' but she's done well for herself. She took the little money that mom gave her and used that to finance her first venture. Not bad for someone who has pregnant at the time with her first child," said Dad with a smile. "I have some great memories as a senior going there after school with Kathy and babysitting your cousin Sean."

"What about Aunt Libby?"

"Well, she married John de Ville. The de Ville's are old money like us... like dad I mean. However, unlike us they choose to flaunt it a bit. I was on the team with 'Cadillac' and I remember him with his Audi and his expensive Swiss watches. Dad always insisted we drive American. I guess some habits die hard given the rental Explorer sitting in the drive."

"Cadillac?" I asked, as the bread popped from the toaster.

"John Cooper de Ville III. He hated being called 'John Jr' or 'Little John', so from Elementary School went by his middle name. We all called him 'Coop'. Well, combine that with his wealth and the swagger he had on the field in high school and it was a short leap to 'Cadillac'."

"This place really is something else... so how come your sisters are loaded and we aren't?" I asked.

"We don't do too badly Fleur despite how little I earn at the University," replied my father. "Your mother brings home good money, even with the charity and 'no win, no fee' work she does. I can't recall any of you ever wanting for anything despite my excommunication from the Haas fortune."

"A car..." interjected Poppy.

"Anything reasonable," replied my father, lightly tapping Poppy's nose. "Anyway, money isn't the most important thing in life by far. I'd hoped I'd raised you all to know that."

"So what's this afternoon going to be like then?"

"I'd guess the usual political networking and baby kissing publicity event of my childhood. It'll be odd to be at one where my father isn't the one running for office."

"Do we need to do anything?"

"No. Your cousins will be there, so it will give you a chance to catch up. Other than that, all you need to do is enjoy the show and the free food while I talk to your Aunt Kathy. Dress code is smart casual though."

"Will there be any press there?" asked Poppy, blanching visibly.

"Yes, but don't worry it'll only be local," said dad, placing a hand on Poppy's. "They won't be interested in you. Anyway, your Aunt Kathy's campaign people wouldn't dream of sharing the spotlight even if you wanted it. This is all about her election."

"Fleur?" asked Poppy, trembling slightly as I took a seat next to her, putting down plate with her bacon butty on her placemat.

"If you don't want to go we can go somewhere else while dad meets with Aunt Kathy?"

Dad nods his head slightly in affirmation to me behind Poppy. I watched her bite her lip in thought for a few moments before she turned back to face dad.

"I'd like to go. It'd be nice to see Sean again. He's... he's been really supportive. An' I'd like to see Aunt Libby's shop."

"I know he'd like to see you too," said dad, wrapping Poppy up in a hug. "It'll be fine, don't you worry."

I hear Poppy mumble her 'okay' in the hug before dad releases her to embrace a squealing Daisy, tipping her upside down in his arms.

"Mmmmm...." sighs Poppy as she takes a bite from her butty. "I really needed this."

"No probs," I replied, getting up from the table. "Oh, and I had a look at that top of yours from the other day. I think I've got all the icing stains out but you might want to have a look anyway. It's in the basket in the utility room."

"You did?!? Ohmygod... I love that top!" squealed Poppy jumping to her feet and embracing me in a hug. "Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!"

"Hey, I did that for myself as much as you," I giggled. "I might want to borrow that top. I have the perfect skirt for it."

"Just keep your paws off it missy," scowled Poppy, narrowing her eyes.

"Or what?" I teased. "If you think you're ready for a shot at alpha female, bring it on."

"On second thoughts," laughed Poppy releasing me from her embrace. "You always were the biggest bitch in this family..."

"And don't you forget it," I replied, shooing her away with a wave of a dishcloth.

"Fleur..." said Poppy, pausing at the doorway leading to the utility room.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. Thanks for everything. You're like the best sister ever."

I give her a weak smile in response and with a nod of her head she disappears in to the utility room.

Oh Poppy... that is like so far from the truth.
 
End of Chapter 3
 
Authors note: Let's pretend this is really March 31st... *ahem* Sorry, very busy with work (in a good way) but it really drained my creative efforts. Hopefully things will be a bit easier for a while and I still intend to try and get things back on track by posting another chapter at the end of April. No reproduction without permission, etc. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read, comment and kudos last chapter as it is really appreciated and helps me work out if this is going the right way. I'm been enjoying writing these characters and it's been really useful in helping me step up my game in writing Wynter Lioness, which I'm holding back on posting until I've got a group of chapters under my belt again. If you enjoyed this chapter, then your comments are always welcome. :-)