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Reaction, Unexpected
by: Moongoddess
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Author's note... this is something that has been rattling around my head for some time.
please understand that this is a) my first attempt at a short story and b) very dark.
Warning, contains references to mental illness and suicide... use caution!
Thank's to Bailey and Darkice for the beta read.
Oh, hello ‘Mother’, I didn’t hear you come in. I was just getting my thoughts together for a letter I was writing.
The homecoming party? I suppose I did enjoy it a little, after all, all of ‘our friends’ were there. Everyone seemed so happy to see me and I did what you told me to do if someone asked me something I didn’t ‘know’ the answer to, sent them to you. I did everything you asked me to do ‘Mother’.
No, please sit. I have to ask you something now… Was this all worth the effort?
‘What do I mean?’ funny, you asking me that. This entire elaborate charade, the thousands of dollars, what? Oh hundreds of thousands of dollars spent, recreating something you lost… yes that you lost. I took nothing away from you.
Yes, well I see that perhaps insanity runs in your family… Don’t you leave this room ‘Mother’! You will hear me out or read it in the letter I’m writing you… that’s better…
I never knew Melissa… yes yes, I meant the original Melissa… I understand we both worked at the same company… IBM is a big company.
She what? She told you that we were dating? Really ‘Mother’, I think we met once at a company launch event or something, she may have said hello… so Melissa came up with elaborate stories of a relationship, huh? A pity, she was a lovely girl, I’m sure…
Yes yes, is a lovely girl ‘Mother’. So I… sorry ‘Mother’, this man broke her heart and she fell into a depression… yes I know you explained this all before, I’m trying to understand better. So then Melissa ‘went away’? I get the euphemisms; she committed suicide over a man she barely knew.
So you what? Felt within your rights to destroy another life? To kidnap and mutilate… yes ‘Mother’ mutilate another human being, to ‘punish’ them for something they weren’t even aware of?
That won’t work ‘Mother’, you took the shock collar off for your party tonight, I’m free to speak to you however I wish… yes some of your conditioning took… no matter how much I want to beat you, choke you, I can’t.
Where was I, oh yes, you remade me into a version of ‘your’ Melissa… you tortured me, drugged me, punished me… worse, you tried to erase the real me… but I held on…
Yes, I know that no one will ever believe me if I tell them, and you made it nearly impossible to be anyone but ‘Melissa’ around anyone else ‘Mother’… that doesn’t matter anymore
What? Come to accept this? You are really funny for a psychopath ‘Mother’… no that is how I see you ‘Mother’, you just trained me far too well to speak my mind, well mostly.
What is this all in aid of? Well… no you listen ‘Mother, you have made me outwardly into a perfect copy of your lost daughter, you have forced me to act the part and conditioned me to never speak of this in public nor physically harm you or your family in any way…
Shut up, yes shut up ‘Mother’
I can’t hurt you physically, but I can hurt you psychologically… yes, it’s a gun… no it’s not to kill you with.
I guess I am a lot like Melissa… Goodbye ‘Mother’.
Comments
SO WORTH READING!!!
Please look past the tags because in my opinion this has been needed to go up as a story for a LONG time. Honestly it's the most likely case of what would happen in forced fem stories when they can't lash out at those that have done this to them.
Thank You, thank you, thank you Moongoddess.
You just shone some of your Moonlight on the truth.
*Great Big Hugs.*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Wow Bailey!, Thank you...
You just made a dark creepy writing afternoon worth it.
Thank you Hugs,
Diana
Dark is right
But, 'Melissa' is one of those impossible situations. She chose to take a path left her with some dignity, but dead is after all dead. One can hope that this time it won't be covered up, and Mother will see justice.
hugs
Grover
Yes, the path... revenge on the tormentor
I saw it as when the soul cries 'enough' Grover. I started out frustrated when i was re reading 'Evolution'. This was one of the first online tg tales i ever read, back then, i was Wow, so cool, i wish... now, i see the kidnapped protagonist roll over and accept their fate without a whimper, or not much. i get fem dom stories, i get sci fi and magic and revenge stories... i don't get a human spirit crushed so easily... this was my reaction... thank you for reading Grover...
Hug's
Diana
The finger
There's a reason why the finger is such a popular gesture. That last great act of defiance. Captain Ahab and Kahn said it best. "With my last breath I spit at thee!"
http://www.cafepress.com/+last_great_act_of_defiance_small_p...
hugs
Grover
other version
I like the other version of that where the mouse has a .45 behind his back and in small letters it says "never give a sucker an even break" or something like that. it used to be painted on the door of the weapons office on one of the ships I served on.
interesting story
This story so needed to be
This story so needed to be written. I hurt for the poor guy that is the new Melissa, but I can understand her actions. I wouldn't want to live as her mothers creature either.
I've read another aftermath of forced femme story on sapphires where the victim kills her whole family.
I hate the stories were a human beeing gets that mutilated that he looses his identity. His will to live and is nothing but a submissive robot to his misstresses.
I read Evolution too, and the worst thing is the obvious hypocrisy and groupthink. I don't know why the protagonist stops thinking for herself after his transformation, but for some reason s/he doesn't.
It is a very sad story, but it isn't intended as porno like so many ff stories.
Thank you for writing,
Beyogi
I get this
If an ordinary man was forcibly turned into a woman, I can see that his reaction might well be something like this, but forced femme stories aren't written so much for realism of what happens to the victim as a means of speaking to the hearts of the readers (at least some of them).
There are a number of TG men out there who have been so squashing into the mould of thinking bending their gender is wrong, that they feel incapable of doing anything about it themselves without feeling a mass of guilt. If the change were to be forced on them, then they would have no reason to feel guilty. They can accept the change they always wanted without feeling they have done anything wrong. The more the power is taken away from the MC, the more the reader can relate and embrace both the helplessness and the metamorphosis.
I don't feel it's particularly healthy as fiction goes, veering, as it often does, towards erotica and pornography, but I can see that those who would describe themselves as girls trapped in men's bodies, who have then been conditioned to suppress and deny the girl in them, could find some sort of release in stories about men being conditioned to be girls.
Discuss?
Difference between rape and blackmail
Well... I don't know, I have read forced femme stories like what you describe. But most forced femme stories are not about pulling a transgendered out of denial, but raping an ordinary man.
I mean there is a difference between teasing and blackmailing someone into dresses and makeup and pulling a guy of the street, castrating him, try to brainwash him and carry out a sex reassignemnt surgery on him.
It's without any dignity and I doubt even a tg person would have problems with being sold as a submissive sex slave even if it contained a free SRS.
Yes it is fantasy, but I guess you can see why I can't believe the reactions the protagonists shown in these rape porn scenarios. They do what is apropriate for the amusement of the reader, but it isn't what a person really would do. They never try to get revenge. They never try to get away. They submit and submit and submit and end as a happy female slut.
I just can't believe that.
Forced fem
It is exactly why I wrote 'Sweat and Tears'.
It is rape.
And i read Sweat and Tears
It was stunning and challenging and hard to read sometimes, but it was worth it Cyclist... i thank you here publicly... i always thought John Money was a shithead too... pardon my language.
Hugs,
Diana
Maeryn, Beyogi
Both sides of this discussion hold merit. Maeryn, when i read your fiction, i identify with your MCs because i am very much like them... but in this case, in the story Evolution and so many others, some poor sap has his old life completely destroyed at the whim of vengeful, spiteful or bored women and ends up with an egodeath. there are some standout exceptions to the rules, Randalynn's excellent Stark series has the protagonist slaughter her tormentors and punish others like them. there are many accidental change stories where ego death is not required.
And it occurs to me now that it is the crushing of spirit that so irks me in a lot of fiction, TG or Mainstream. The human spirit is so precious, that to beat it down hurts me as i read of it. In reading Evolution, like Beyogi, i hated that a person could be manipulated as a young child, then kidnapped and tortured in the name of science or 'evolution of the species' and then just blythly accept and cooperate with their tormentors...(shakes head)
A good story and a good protagonist should be the eyes and ears of the reader taking us on a journey of hope, terror, wonder or whatever genre you prefer... a bad protagonist is a place holder.
I am glad you both enjoyed the story though... it was a creepy afternoon of writing :))
Hugs,
Diana
Anyone here heard of "fiction"
Nice to read what you write Maeryn, amid this strange barrage of moral indignation against stories about terrible things which - er - didn't happen.
I do understand that some people are disturbed by some elements in some stories because they themselves have had terrible experiences. I think it's great that people put warnings up for their stories sometimes. But I think it's important that the readers take responsibility and don't read, or stop reading, what they don't like.
The world is full of horrible things and it's also astoundingly rich in beauty, life is complex. It's very hard to handle the horror and some of us suffer worse than others. It can be sometimes hard to handle the beauty too. Somewhere in the middle maybe there are people who are in a bliss of balance?
Writing fiction is a form of self-expression, and in this mixed up middled up world, expression can be difficult and the "self" can be quite impossible. So I think it is absolutely fine to write about really horrible things, to try to tangle or untangle mental threads; to grapple seriously with life's dark side as well as its lighter side; and even o do it, if one has a dark sense of humour, for a laugh. A fantasy comes out of someone's mind and in a story form there is the invitation to join in: that's all. It's not real, there are no injuries, there's not even earth or sky; just words. A story cannot hurt anyone by itself.
The censorious and puffed up moral postures of some of the critics here I find quite disturbing. It's really a simple matter: if you don't like it, don't read it. Be responsible for your own mental hygiene and leave other people to their own thoughts and feelings.
I second Maeryn's suggestion of why some people write stories like these, but I would add that it can be much more complicated. Who knows where the depths of one's feelings come from, what attracts one to something? Who can rally map out another's emotional landscapes? Who can even really map their own?
I like stories that play with extremes and that are quite dark (though not always, there are things I don't like too, of course - and there are many other things I also like). They touch something in me I don't really understand. I like really quite nasty forced fem stories with a lot of psychological thought behind them. I like them when they're believable and disturbing. This does not spill over into real life for me, and I'm certainly lucky not to have suffered some of the things some others have. But here, they are *stories*, just fiction.
If you don't like them, be responsible and don't read them.
Do not try to censor other people.
XX
AD
Hi Alice,
I do agree with Maeryn on this point...But! and this is a sticky point with me...there should be more protest from the protagonist... his will, his ego should not collapse the moment he is feminized... humans have a strong sense of self... yes i took this one to an extreme end... but it needed to be done, to bend if not break a trope... i don't say that i have encountered bad writing here on BC... but again, i have seen the easy use of the tropes... i get lazy in my writing, everyone does, but i try to shake the trope up a bit...
Just my 0.02,
Diana
Bad rowing?
Hi Diana,
Did I stick my oar in in the wrong place?
Sorry if I misunderstood. I thought there was a rant going on against extreme forced fem stories.
In stories I even like the ego collapse part where the person relents and gives in to it all, when it's done plausibly, monstrous though it would be in the real world.
But I do completely agree that there are some very lazy turns of plot that have me sometimes abandoning a story I've been reading. If one ventures into this arena, yes, it would be much better if the protagonist seemed real and tried to fight believably.
So I'm sorry if I misunderstood your meaning and jumped in with an unnecessary rant. I'll read more carefully in future! I did very much like your story, though suicide, even fictional, saddens me a lot.
XX
AD
Just a bugaboo of mine Alice
I am just one writer who wants my characters to react in a real life manner to (admittedly) non real life situations. There are some very good forced femme stories out there, but sigh... i'm experimenting in the style is all... i'd just like to hope that i might be a bit stronger in a situation of loss of control, that a spark, an ember of self would survive...
Diana
Reaction, Unexpected
Revenge never is the answer.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
revenge...
Indeed! Revenge is often a dish best served cold... but it also tends to be moldy and tasteless when one reconsiders serving it up. The wise person does not serve it, hot or cold.
>> Foxxe Wilder >>
thanks for this, hon
dark, but you're speaking for the victim, and thats a good thing.
Dorothycolleen
Good Horror
I like a little horror now and then. This is very creative and good.
There's a song lyric that goes, "It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees." I forget who sings it but it seems to fit this story. There are some cases where death just might be a kindness.
Thanks and kudos.
- Terry
Suicide ...
A Nice ride around Manchester to finish off the Sparkle weekend.
As I felt it, was a way to escape my own torment, not punish others for tormenting me.
Those that hurt me, those that practised their 'dark psychiatric arts' on me, could never be 'punished' by me. I was too weak and vulnerable, they were omnipotent and strong. I had no weapons and no defences save that of striving for survival, mostly by simply trying, (endlessly trying) to understand and find an answer to that seemingly endless question, why, why! Why!!
In the end, in those first six years, I simply closed up, I became a 'nothing' no multiple personalities to hide different fears and abuses, no self harming to prove I was ready to die or demonstrate my unworthiness, no outward manifestations of anything for I had learned that showing no response caused my abusers (The doctors!) the greatest discontent when their conceited ideas appeared not to work.
At that time I never even contemplated suicide for I had never heard of the notion of killing myself to escape from hell. Maybe I was just too young or too thick to realise. Additionally, I had no idea that there were ways to kill oneself without excruciating pain. In the end, I just withdrew. Six years of NOTHINGNESS! Until the age of twelve.
Then, somebody, some distant, all powerful and anonymous authority decided that I should be moved out of the 'ward' (prison) and placed somewhere else. I think it was because it was too expensive to keep me there with no apparent hope of a 'cure' but I have no proof at all of that being the reason. There could have been any one of a dozen reasons and all of them beyond my understanding.
At twelve I was transferred to a borstal without a court order, without having ever commited a crime and there I slowly realised that silence was a certain route to injury and probable death. Even then, I didn't want to die. I had not yet the wit to realise that dying was a surefire escape. The incomprehension of adolescence was still with me and the will to live still strong for I had not yet come to terms with puberty and all the complications that would bring. Up until puberty, life for me was cruel, brutal and simple ... eat, sleep, and defaecate, just like some lower life form.
However I eventually learned that in Borstal, no responses would precipitate inexplicable violence and I soon realised that communication was expected of me. The self imposed silence that had served in the psychiatric unit now served to endanger me. Sticks and stones do work or they kill. Between twelve and fifteen I wasn't yet in the right frame of mind to die.
Thoughts of suicide did not arrive until I was out of the cauldron of care and actually experiencing a degree of normality as a deck boy on a merchant ship trading between Liverpool and the Eastern Seaboard of America including the great lakes.
It was then that I began to lose hope and finally tried to drown myself in the St Laurence just as the ice was beginning to form.
Even then I failed dismally for it was a pathetically, cowarly, half-hearted attempt. I was left feeling guilty that I had failed some decent men like the Captain, the mate and the boatswain, who had invested time and care to give me a chance at something.
I realised I was a totally stupid, selfish cunt and that served to destroy what little self esteem I had started to accrue.
It was fully nine more years before I was able to stand for the first time on my own two feet. Nine years of living on the same ship, treating it as a refuge and safe haven until she was sold to the Greeks and I was forced to move on.
No ... suicide only serves the sucessful participant. Everything else is just a bloody mess!
I considered it a couple of times in my later teens but it never came to anything for I was, at last, beginning to garner some self respect.
Suicide sucks!!
Beverly
Suicide does indeed suck, and this story is not meant to be an endorsement of suicide by any means.
My intention in writing this story was to protest a particularly repellent (to me at least) form of TG story.
if i insulted you or made you sad, it was never my intention. i am a survivor of dark suicidal thoughts myself.
my apologies,
Diana
OMG
I'll never think my life is crappy again... That's so horrible...
Can it actually get worse?
At least your story shows that it can will get better.
I read this story several days ago.
I was unsure as to make a reply as it is unsettling.
I can empathise with the despair of the victim but I got the feeling that he/she was cutting off her own nose to spite his/her own face.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem thus not advised in any situation.
If this was the protagonist's revenge against the perpetrator in a bid to hurt her then the suicide was in vain.
Psycopaths feel no emotion. That is why they are just going to move on to their next victim.
It would be more productive to shoot the perp and do the whole world a favour rather than taking your own life.
WebDeb
but if, as faux Melissa was, Programmed to be unable to harm her 'Mother', programmed to be someone completely and utterly different to her original self, unable to speak or react in any way other than as 'Melissa', as is the case in so many femdom / identity theft tales, what other option does she have? egodeath? not an option in my opinion... that life, living unwillingly, the life of another...a replacement... i would choose real death...not to torment the psychopath, but to have a shred of dignity... i would... YMMV however...
hugs,
Diana
Dark yet real
Really sad, and I think still horrifying. I have often thought about suicide, not really doing it myself, I always would tell myself when my thoughts get dark that it wouldnt be an answer, you cant take it back if you succeed, that's it your done and that always brought me to my senses. I couldnt bring myself to hurt my family that much, nor give up, I guess I enjoy the fight to be me, my self, no matter how much of it is hidden in torture, the end is still the end.
Sadly I have known many who have done it and I have thought and been conflicted in my feelings of it after. Thinking they were cowards for not fighting, for giving up. But, still thinking how brave they were to be able to make the final decision for themselves. Yet how selfish they were for doing it.
See there are too many ways to think and feel about it, I still would never do it, no matter what. I think I would make do with what I had left of myself and live as well as I could. Some day knowing I would find a way to win, or at least garner some small victory for myself.
Was it Witman that said "Be ashamed to die, less you have won one small victory for humanity." I have always thought he should have added "or for oneself too."
Peace!
Nikki Thong
"Be loving, forgiving, open, happy, sharing, thoughtful, musical, cry a little everyday, but for goodness sakes be honest with yourself!"
"Satin makes me sooooo happy! Giggles!"
Nikki Thong
"Be loving, forgiving, open, happy, sharing, thoughtful, musical, cry a little everyday, but for goodness sakes be honest with yourself!"
"Satin makes me sooooo happy! Giggles!"