Andy Wren shook his head. Had he heard the guy right? "You want me to do what to be on your show?"

The guy sighed. "Look it's called Reality TV, and that's not just the genre, it's the title and the whole schtick. A houseful of people who will all go about their normal lives for a whole year while crossdressing."

Andy blinked. "You mean the -- the guys will dress as girls and the girls will dress as guys?" It sounded dumb enough to be a real Hollywood idea.

"That's right." The producer's assistant, whose name was Phil Bollard, nodded. "You got it." He had a soul patch beard and a shaved head and he was a white guy. He looked like Howie Mandell's creepy younger brother.

"I don't..." began Andy.

"Before you say no, listen to the whole deal. We pay rent and expenses for a whole year, find you a job, provide medical and dental insurance, and training to make this work. You get a monthly stipend, too, and a big bonus check at the end." Phil beamed.

"You've... It's got to be a joke, right?" Andy fidgeted in the interview chair. He'd taken a day off his job in the Palmdale library to come down to Burbank to interview for this show--in a Starbucks on San Fernando. He wondered if he had made a mistake, the hundred fifty bucks or so it cost him in lost wages, busfare, glossies and a digital sample video would make things tight this month.

Phil tried to reassure him. "No, no, we're perfectly serious about this. Rent and expenses up to $2000 a month. Stipend is $500 cash and $500 into a bank account. Stay all the way to the end and we will add triple the bank account plus $1000. That totals to $31,000 in addition to whatever you earn in the job we find you and we've paid your rent and household expenses --including wardrobe!-- and you got insurance to boot."

Andy shook his head. "I don't think so," he said, frowning. Living as a girl for a whole year? Wasn't that what those creepy people on Oprah and Jerry Springer did?

Outside it was February, windy and cold in the Los Angeles Basin--well, cold for LA--warm and comfortable inside the coffee shop. Phil leaned forward and pushed the venti latte cups aside. "Look, you want to be an actor, huh?"

"It's... Yeah." Andy kept it simple. Obviously he wanted to be an actor after preparing for this interview.

"Think about what playing a crossdresser did to Tom Hanks' career," suggested Phil.

Andy made a face again. First of all, Tom Hanks was brilliant and Andy would have to be a fool to think he was half as good. Second, that old sitcom probably didn't have that much to do with Hanks' later success.

Phil laughed. "Look, you're only 5'5", you weigh, what, less than 110 pounds? You're blond, blondish, don't have much beard, you'll probably be able to pass the first day. You got the face for it, too. We'll get you a job as a receptionist or something."

"It just feels weird, the whole idea," Andy muttered. It felt very weird in multiple very weird ways.

"You won't be alone," Phil said. "We plan to have eight people living together, four guys and four girls, with genders swapped. It'll be an adventure and you'll make money."

"I was planning to go to college, get my degree..." Andy trailed off. "I graduated high school midterm." The idea of other people being in on the whole thing, participating, knowing things about him, set him off on an entirely new tangential freak out.

"That's good!" said Phil. "We can pay tuition and buy your books, get you just a part-time job so you can study. What do you want to study? You been accepted anywhere?"

Andy shook his head. "I thought I'd go to Antelope Valley for a year or two. Just get some general ed out of the way. It's all I can afford anyway."

Phil looked at the screen of his tablet computer. "You're seventeen? Living with your folks? Think they'd sign for you to do this?"

Andy blinked. "Just my dad. Mom lives in Arizona." What would his father say to this deal? Andy blushed to think.

"We can get you into a better school than a JC in Palm-fucking-dale, kid," said Phil confidently. "We haven't decided where we're filming yet, maybe Malibu. You could go to Pepperdine, study Theater or Film. That ought to help convince one of your folks to sign."

"I dunno."

"What if we sweetened the deal a bit? Ten thousand dollar signing bonus, half for you, half for the Mom or Dad that signs you up?"

Andy blinked.

Phil doodled something on the iPad. "We might could go higher than that."

"When..." Andy started.

"When what?" Phil looked eager, ready to pounce.

"When would you start? Filming..."

Phil shrugged. "Taping. April. May probably. Get a year in and have time for post-production before going on the air next fall. Not this fall, next year." He looked at Andy with a sly expectant expression. "You're thinking about it, huh?"

Andy didn't speak. His expression might have meant anything. Jobs were hard to get, acting jobs especially. He'd tried out for several spots, figuring that he could play a high schooler on a soap opera. But nothing had clicked and the soaps weren't hiring anyway. Cable reality shows were just about all there was in Hollywood these days.

He sighed and bit his lip. He and his dad did not get along anymore. He needed to move.

Phil waited him out, looking confident.

Andy shook his head. "It's not enough money, what you're offering. A year of my life should be worth more than just double minimum wage." He hardly believed he had said that. What was more astonishing, that he might agree to be in such a whacked-out project or that they might pay what he was going to ask?

Phil smiled. "With rent and expenses, it's more than that already. How much do you want, kid?"

Andy swallowed hard. "I want a quarter million, total. And a play-or-pay contract, if you guys back out of everything you have to give me at least half of what I would have got paid. Oh, and a share of movie rights, gross."

Phil whistled. "Think big, huh?" He smiled. "And who told you about play-or-pays?" His smile widened to a grin. "You're lucky, the producers have seen your glossies and your sample. They want you for this. I'm not sure they want you that bad, but maybe we can work something out."

Andy smiled but not with confidence. I'm going to do it? I've got to be out of my mind, he told himself.