Please see notes at end

It’s another sad day for the sky is filled with dark clouds.
It’s been like this for many days, and the rain just never seems to go away.
Oh how I wish I could go out and play, but what fun would it be anyway.
I no longer laugh and I can’t smile, why must I live a life of denial.
Ashamed of what others might think, the pills still in my hand ready to swallow.
Some people told me to pray, but why bother, god hates me anyway.
Some wish I was dead, others want me to move ahead.
As the pain becomes too much to bear, I find there is no end to the fear.
I know what I am doing and that it is a sin, but only the thought of death will make me smile again.
I will miss my friends, the few that I have, I know my enemies will be glad, for it is them that made me this sad.
I was pushed to edge one time to many.
I opened the pop can, the pills in my mouth, I took the drink and the tears went away.
There were those of you that your doubts, at least now I won’t have to hear your mouth.

I wrote this note some six years ago when I could no longer live with being a transgendered person.
With the help of many friends and some family, I have come a long way learning to how deal with this.

I found help.
I found hope
I found love
Best of all I found the missing piece that started it all.
Those thoughts are gone now and only good times lie ahead.