A smile spread across her lips as she stepped in. “Hello Tracy.” She stopped just in front of the girl and hugged her. “You look beautiful.” She whispered into Tracy's ear.

“Don't ask me. Maybe she's been in there all this time, she just needed the chance to come out.” Modine said as she went to the cupboard and pulled out a loaf of freshly made bread. She waited for Tracy to turn back to her and she cut a slice off of the loaf. She then offered the knife to her. “Here you go young lady. Five more slices, just like the one I did.”

September 1982
Northern California

It was nearing lunch time and Tracy was starting to get nervous. She had been hanging out with her grandmother all day so far and things were just fine. She had watched some TV and even tired her hand at painting, one of the few hobbies that her grandmother really enjoyed. Tracy wasn't too good at it, but she had enjoyed trying. In the end, what should have been a picture of trees, looked like a bunch of brown and green caterpillars. They had laughed about it, and for once, Tracy didn't dwell on how bad she was. They had stopped just briefly to make the pasta salad. Tracy did the work, with her grandmother watching over her shoulder, ready to help out when needed. It needed two hours of cooling time in the refrigerator. So after that they returned to their easels and continued on their different pictures. Well, one picture and one grouping of brightly colored shapes.

Now the art supplies were gone for the day and they had retreated to the kitchen once more. “So what else are we making?” Tracy asked.

“Well I figured we could make some grilled chicken salad sandwiches. They should go well with the pasta salad.”

“Okay, how do we do make that?” Tracy asked.

“Good question.” Modine pulled a box out of the cupboard and flipped it open and began looking through index cards. “With this.” She handed Tracy the card and let the child read. “You'll find everything you need in the fridge, or in the spices cupboard. Think you can manage?”

Tracy nodded. “Yeah.” She began pulling the ingredients from the 'fridge, stopping to read the index card each time. She worked at the counter, her grandmother stepping in to show her the best way to use the knives when needed. As Tracy was almost finished there was a knock at the door and her grandmother went to answer it. “Straighten that dress young lady, and clean your hands.” she said on her way out of the kitchen.

Tracy could hear her mother at the door as she washed her hands, it was one thing she had always loved. Her ears were good, so even from her place in the kitchen she could hear her her mother and grandmother exchanging pleasantries, then she heard. “Come on Maggie, I'll introduce you to your daughter.”

Tracy quickly dried off her hands and stood there as the two women came into the kitchen. Her heart was racing, hoping that her mother was totally okay with what she was doing. She stood there as her mother looked her over, then Tracy said in a quiet voice, speaking slightly higher then Troy would. She lowered her head a bit, but kept her eyes on her mom. “Hello Mama.” Troy had never called her that. In fact his greetings would have been just a simple mom and always hi, never hello. And Maggie caught it too.

A smile spread across her lips as she stepped in. “Hello Tracy.” She stopped just in front of the girl and hugged her. “You look beautiful.” She whispered into Tracy's ear.

The girl's face was bright with pride and her smile spread from ear to ear. “Thank you Mama.”

“And so polite too. How did I get so lucky to have a beautiful girl with manners?” She asked, looking over to her mother-in-law.

“Don't ask me. Maybe she's been in there all this time, she just needed the chance to come out.” Modine said as she went to the cupboard and pulled out a loaf of freshly made bread. She waited for Tracy to turn back to her and she cut a slice off of the loaf. She then offered the knife to her. “Here you go young lady. Five more slices, just like the one I did.”

Maggie watched her daughter cut the bread. It wasn't perfect, in fact a couple of the slices were quite thick, the other three were a mix of half think and very thin. As Tracy finished the cutting, her grandmother handed her the bowl with the chicken salad in it.

“What would you say to eating outside on the back porch?” Modine asked.

Tracy's head whipped to her grandmother, her eyes were wide with panic, but her mother cut her off as she saw the child’s face. “I don't mind, but we should ask the young lady.”

Modine turned around and smiled at Tracy. “Well, would you like to enjoy some mild summer weather from the porch?”

“But...but...” Tracy's heart began to race and her hands started to shake. “What if someone sees me.”

Her mother dropped to one knee and shook her head. “Sweetheart, no one can see you back there. No one goes in the ravine and those that do wont see you through trees that line the backyard. No one can see the porch from the road, but if you're that scared, we can stay in here.”

“We can?” Tracy asked, feeling a bit better.

“We can. We want you to be comfortable with yourself. We know you're safe back there, but you need to feel it too.” Maggie replied.

“Tracy, I understand your fear, but know that I will never ask you to do something that will get you hurt, or compromise your secret.” Her grandmother said in that comforting tone all grandmothers have.

Tracy thought about it for a moment, then she looked outside. It wasn't too warm and there was a breeze out. She had never been invited to sit with her grandmother when she was Troy, not on the back porch but then her grandmother had so many bad days with her osteoporosis. The back porch was her grandmothers sanctuary. Even Her grandfather stayed off of it, unless he was going to the grill that was in the back yard, or fixing something on it.

Tracy spread some of the chicken salad onto a slice of bread and she meekly asked. “No one will see us?”

“Not at all. No one comes into the back yard, ever.” Modine replied.

“I....I think I want to sit out there.” Tracy looked at her grandmother and mom. “If it's okay.”

“Sweetheart, it's definitely okay.” The older woman answered with that grandmotherly smile.

Tracy put down the knife and moved to hug her grandmother, then her mom. “Thank you.”

Modine gave her another hug and kissed her cheek. “You're welcome. Now we should finish this and get it out to the table, don't you think?”

“Okay.” Tracy seemed to pick up her speed while fixing the sandwiches, while her mother helped her grandmother take the paste salad outside, along with plates, forks, glasses and a pitcher of tea. A few minutes later Tracy was walking onto the back porch, a plate with the sandwiches on it in her hands.

She sat the plate on the table and was about to sit when her mother stopped her. “Wait, you can't just sit down. As you sit, smooth out the bottom of your dress, so it isn't ruffled under you. And remember, a lady sits with her legs together.” Tracy nodded and did as she was told, automatically crossing her legs just above the ankles.

Maggie beamed at her. “Very good sweetheart.”

“Thank you Mama.” Tracy said as she watched her grandmother putting some of the pasta salad on her plate. Then her mother dished some out. She sat there, watching as her mother took a bite, then nodded. “Wow. This is good, Modine.”

“Thank you, but I didn't make it.” Modine gestured with a sweep of her hand at Tracy.

“You made this?” Maggie asked.

“Yes, Mama. I made the chicken stuff for the sandwiches too.” The girl smiled brightly.

“Really? I didn't know you could cook.” Tracy’s mother held that surprised look on her face as she looked at her child again.

“Grandma Modine helped me, we made eggs, but I forgot the salt and pepper.” Tracy's smiled faded a bit. “But she told me I need to learn from the mistakes.”

“And I meant that.” Modine said with a nod.

“So why did you want to cook?” Maggie asked her daughter.

“Because, if I learn how, on the days you work late, I can have dinner ready when you get home.” Tracy said, hoping she wasn't crossing the line in what was acceptable. “Could I?”

Maggie put her fork down and tapped her fingers of one hand on the table. “You'd be willing to help with the cooking, even though Vance would most likely tease you?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“Would it be Tracy, or Troy cooking?” Maggie asked. “Because if Vance saw you like that, then we'd have problems.”

“I'd be Troy.” And with that her shoulders began to slump.

“Sorry baby, but you know he'd spread it around school if he saw you like this. I can only protect you so much.”

“I know Mama.” Tracy's head lowered and she put her hands in her lap.

“No, none of that now.” Modine looked across the table. Tracy's head rose slightly. “You were in a happy mood earlier. I don't want you to lose that now. First we'll work on you getting to be a good cook, then we'll expand to cooking on your own. And as for Vance, we'll just play it safe. Clothes don't make the cook.”

Tracy nodded and her mother put a hand on her shoulder. “I would love for you to help, but before I let you loose on your own, we'll work together a few times, okay?”

“Okay.” Tracy said with a nod.

Modine smiled as the life seemed to return to the little girl. “I meant what I said too. You come over, Friday through Monday and I'll show you a few pointers, okay?”

Tracy's smile returned and she nodded again. “Yes, Grandma. I'd like that.”

“Good. Now lets enjoy this wonderful lunch you made us.” Grandma Modine said as she picked out one of the sandwiches.