“Stop that.” my wife said “why do you have to look in every mirror we pass?”

“Looking for someone who's never there.” I thought to myself. “Why does it bother you so that I do it.” I asked. “You know why I'm looking. You know what I'm looking for.” She did not reply. We walked along in silence.

“It seems silly” she said “'What you are looking for is not going to be there. You aren't going to change into a woman walking down the mall. Wearing panties is about as far as you are going to get. Did you see that dress in the window?”

“You are so mean.'” I said as we stopped in front of the store window. “I don't say anything when you dress like a boy. You wear bras that flatten out your chest. You even wear boy's shoes. Do I complain?”

“Yes.” I said “Nice color do you think they have my size?” I laughed as we walked on. An older couple gave us a weird look as we passed.

Laurie had caught me dressed and many times in panties. My panties. She would pull back the waist of my jeans to see if I was wearing panties. She would slip her hand into my pants squeeze me and ask what color my panties were. We even had matching red crepe chenille robes.

“Do you remember that vacation we took to Atlantic Beach” I asked her? “You didn't seem to mind me looking in the mirror back then. I remember you didn't mind sharing your bed with a “girl” that week. You even bought lingerie for me. You gave me a black lace negligee for Christmas.”

I went on, “there's an empty space in my soul” she wasn't listening “dressing up, wearing girls clothes fills that empty space.” I love the way the clothes look and feel against my skin. I won't say I'm sorry. Saying you're sorry means you have given up; you have lost. She loved the sex. She would ask if her girlfriend was coming tonight. She would get so hot I could smell her when we had girl on girl sex. She had bed rocking orgasms when I was dressed.

She wants it on her terms, that's what it comes down to. I'll never stop looking in mirrors. Someday I might find a new me in the mirror, until then I'll continue to play dress up when I want to.

“I saw you” she said. “What color panties do you have on? Are they briefs or bikinis?”

'Yellow briefs, they match my shirt.” She slipped her arm around me giving me a hug. Nothing more was said, we walked along in silence.