I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it
From This Moment On
"Hey Erica," the redhead looked up from her reading. She had a novel in her lap and cup of coffee in her hand. "How are you?"
"I'm doing just fine, Maired, and you?" Erica set her purse on the table next to the front door and walked into the kitchen. She held up the coffee pot in offering.
"No, thank you. And I'm doing well." And she was...at least as well as could be expected. She "shared" the triumph of remission with her "brother," and her health was fairly good.
"How's your music coming along?" Erica asked as she settled down in the couch across from the chair by the window where Maired sat.
"I've just about got the arrangements down on paper, and it should be ready to go for recording in about a week."
Maired had only recently begun to play the cello, mostly for a complement to the violin that her brother would play for the recording, but also as homage to "their" late sister Maura, who had played cello as well. The CD that Mark had planned would include a lot of Irish favorites, with a tip of the hat to Celtic Woman and Celtic Thunder, but instrumental only. Their plans included penny whistle, flute, and some piano.
Most people would have accepted Maired's news with a nod and an encouraging, "That's great," but Erica was not most people. She began to cry softly, and she quickly gulped some coffee to hide her tears, but Maired noticed it. She got up from the chair and walked over and held Erica in her arms. She rubbed Erica's back while stroking her hair with her other hand.
"I..." Erica's crying abated somewhat as she struggled for words.
"Through...everything… you...we've been through...this music....the CD. I'm so happy that you're doing this.’
You may recall the enormous struggle the Kiernan household had gone through. Erica's husband was cancer free for nearly twenty months, and in the middle of all that, they had lost a baby through miscarriage. Their love for each other, linked together with their faith in God and support of their family and friends, had seen them through. Music had returned to the home on a frequent basis after a protracted absence, and the sounds of Vivaldi and Mozart, along with Innis Free and O Danny Boy, served as witness to the healing they now lived. Erica was more sensitive to the fragility of life, not only for what they had endured and overcome, but because of her own past.
Erica had that long conversation with her mother about her own father's untimely death at the age of twenty-five. He had died in the first Gulf War while saving the lives of other soldiers. He had not died alone, as Erica had discovered, but had perished sadly with his closest friend other than Erica's mother Diane.
Diane had explained that Erica's father had another beautiful side to him that he shared only with his wife. Ronni was her closest friend, the best friend a girl could ever have. She "died" the day David gave his life, and Diane was left with twin voids in her heart. Erica had thought very long about her talk with her mother at the gravesites...yes, her “grave” was only yards away from him. Erica realized that she loved Mark so deeply and truly, that the cancer continued to loom almost menacingly every day. But it now threatened to take away another besides Mark, and she feared, as many family members do, that the cancer might return.
"Maired...sweetheart...I need to speak to Mark...No don't get up, just sit there, please?" Erica said. They recognized Maired's role as an aspect of Mark's personality, so conversations like this would take place from time to time. Maired nodded and looked with compassion on Erica's face.
"Please...Let me say what I have to say...before you say anything. Okay." She was greeted with another nod and soft smile and she continued. "After what Mommy told me last week, I've been thinking and praying. I want you to know that I love you very much. I am so afraid that you are going to leave me...." She started to sob, but willed herself to continue. "You have been the love of my life since we were children. A lifetime for some, but not enough for me. And now, after what Mommy said, I realize that if you die, it will hurt twice as bad...I can't afford to lose...either of you. Am I making any sense?"
To be honest, Mark didn't even understand it himself; while Maired was an integral part of him, he still was learning more about her each day. She had her own taste in music for example. He preferred Irish folk songs and classical music.
She tended toward Diana Krall and Harry Connick. He still struggled with his own male identity and his feelings of insecurity. Erica had seen to it that she built him up in every way in that respect, and they had come to a place where it was acceptable, even comfortable, for Maired to visit frequently. What he found out, and this was what helped him understand Erica, is that it was okay for her to love Maired as much as Mark. It was as if they finally gave themselves the permission they never really needed to have.
Mark had long ago resigned himself to his own mortality. It was, as it always is, the ones left behind, not the ones who leave. He wanted to live for her sake as much as for his. He knew she'd survive and even live life after he was gone, but they loved each other so much.
"Promise me one thing..." She said.
"Yes."
"Never, never leave me." She began to sob, embarrassed at the request, impossible as it was. She just loved...them...so much.
"Never, my love," they both said to her.
Erica kicked the front door further open with her foot and dropped two bags of groceries on the couch. She was going to call for help when she heard the piano from the den. Along with the piano, she heard..."No more blue songs...."
"Cole Porter?" Erica said to herself as she walked down the hall. Sitting at the piano was an attractive woman with dark red, albeit, short hair. Her fingers danced lightly over the keyboard as she played and sang with verve and style, unlike anything she had ever played before. She finished the tune and looked up to see a very attractive woman standing by the archway leading into the den. The woman was absolutely the most beautiful woman she had ever seen...ever. She got up from the piano, smoothed her dress as a lady should do when standing, and walked over to the woman by the door.
"Only whoopdie-do songs..." the redhead sang softly in the woman's ear.
"Will that be on the CD?" Erica asked.
"I can't think of a better song to name the album. 'From This Moment On!' No more fear...no more doubt. Just my love for you!"
And then she kissed her.
"S’Wonderful"
The sounds of a violin playing Si' Do Mhaimeo I' echoed throughout the house. Erica hadn't quite gotten to it, but was able to tell "who" was home by the music playing. Mark still preferred Celtic and classical, while Maired's newly discovered tastes tended to Sinatra, Bennett and Krall.
"Lucy, I’m home," she shouted playfully as she put her purse on the table by the front door.
Mark had recently gotten a job with a middle school out of district teaching piano and violin part time. It was a welcome surprise that someone had found some money floating around the ether and sent it in the direction of the music department. There was talk of the orchestra that had disbanded two years ago might be reforming, and he might have an opportunity, even if it didn't pay anything, to play again.
"Hey, honey, how was your day?" Mark came from the bedroom, toweling off his head. His dark red hair was much longer than usual, owing to what Erica referred to as "the experiment." She teased him that after several season, she was curious to see what Julianne Something (Nicholson) might look like with long hair. And while long hair was a fairly complementary feature of Mark's looks, it did absolute wonders for his "sister's" already attractive appearance. He walked up to his wife and kissed her passionately, saying simply,
"I love you."
"Aishiteru to you too, sweetheart. Billy Bear is going to Japan! The publisher wants to repeat the series for the Japanese market, and we finished the changes today. They've got a wonderful girl in Osaka that has done some great illustrations." She smiled as she pulled husband into her for another kiss. "How was your day? I noticed you playing your violin...It brings me great joy, sweetheart."
After his long illness and recovery and after their miscarriage, Erica had feared Mark might never play again, but her encouragement and the love of friends and family had helped Mark emerge from his "dark night of the soul." The arrival of his "sister" Maired, while initially confusing, helped Mark define himself, and ultimately helped him define his music....and hers. One thing new, for both of "them;" Maired and Mark had started to sing. Mark, while a wonderful musician who was blessed with such a talent that has to inspire gratitude to a Creator, was never one to sing; He was not a typical "Irish" tenor, and his range was more suited to alto. First the odd humming, but soon he had begun to sing "O Danny Boy," and "Come by the Hills," but also "Chi Rho" and "An Irish Son." Maired, however, had never sung before in her life. She had always been a shy girl, never confident of herself, other than her desire to please others.
Once she had become more comfortable living with the Kiernan's, however, she began to blossom musically. She began to play the cello and flute, like "her" late sister Maura, and the hymns and songs of praise that once fell on sadly closed ears began to emanate from her. And JAZZ! She played the piano in a way that might cause Chick Corea and Diana Krall to say, "Not bad at all!"
"Actually, my day went pretty well, considering." He paused. The teaching assignment was good for at least until the end of the school year. He had learned after his brush with mortality that life was too short to worry, and his quiet confidence in God made bad news easier to accept. "The orchestra isn't getting back together after all. Too many of the musicians have moved on, and no one seems to have the energy to make it happen. Too bad, but I'm okay. One thing looks interesting, however." He was afraid of what Erica might say next, since she was the adventurous one in the family.
"And what would that be, love of my life," she said, playfully nibbling on his ear. Having little success in ignoring her, he nevertheless tried to continue.
"There's a piano gig in Mt. Airy...North by Northwest, a fill-in..Friday after next."
"And?" Erica asked, all the while nuzzling her husband's neck.
"It's a Jazz gig." Mark said, almost embarrassed to tell her. He knew what her next words would be, and while he was fairly confident in his own skills, he wasn't so sure about....
"Maired." Erica started to laugh softly.
"What's so funny?"
"I know about me for certain, but I'm not so sure..." She continued to laugh and her eyelashes began to tickle his ears.
"She and I don't have a thing to wear!"
The club was intimate but not crowded. The lights were low enough to create atmosphere without anyone needing to worry about banging into a waiter in the dark. The trio sat at the table to the right of the stage, out of the "limelight," as it were.
The raven-haired woman was possibly the best looking woman in the house that night, although she would likely have told you that herself. Sitting to her left was a very attractive brunette, who stared at the stage in anticipation. The two women were lifelong friends who had been through loss and gain, tragedy and triumph, disappointment and heartache, but romance and dreams fulfilled. They put down their wine and held hands. The black-haired beauty grabbed the hand of the woman sitting on her other side. She was blond, and almost as attractive as the other two, although you would be hard pressed to convince her. She usually spent most of her time at home, and only reluctantly agreed to accompany the other two for the evening.
The woman next to her whispered in her ear, "You look absolutely positively lovely," which caused her already rosy Irish cheeks to darken. Unlike the rest of the clientele, the three were friends of the woman. And they actually drew together and softly prayed for her performance. While she had played in public many times before, she would be playing piano for the first time, and jazz to boot. The lights were already low, so no one noticed the three smile and look heavenward in an attitude of thanks. Maybe for Handel or Mendelssohn or Wesley, but Ellington or Parker or Fitzgerald? Music came from the soul, which came from the heart, which came from God, so it really did make sense.
An attractive woman stepped on stage and sat down at the piano. Her face looked vaguely familiar to the small audience, almost like a celebrity. Her dark red hair was complemented by her simple dark green silk top and slacks. Even though she was unsure of the moment, she had plenty of support from her friends and family. A fourth woman sat down with the other three and excused her tardiness, but glad that her daughter had not started. She looked at the other three, who noticed that she had been crying. She was alright, this the three knew without a doubt. Her tears were those of joy and pride for the piano player. Most people don't cry at jazz, but we can excuse the woman for a momentary lapse in protocol.
The performance went better than expect as the woman played with more poise than she had hoped for. Gershwin and Porter, Van Heusen and Mercer and Berlin. The woman played well, perhaps not as good as Brubeck or Tatum, but just as romantic as Krall. "Besame Mucho" brought a snorty laugh from the black-haired girl and caused the brunette to blush.
The woman finished the night with "'S'Wonderful," singing "You made all the other's seem blah," a slight change in lyrics that might have surprised anyone in the audience but the quartet by the stage. You will have to excuse at least one of the women, when the brunette actually started to cry after the woman sang, "That you should care for me."
Mark and Erica lay in bed, a nice breeze coming into the bedroom from the open window.
"She played wonderfully tonight," Erica said to her husband, as if he hadn’t been there. "No one noticed…" She wanted to continue, but Mark shushed her with a kiss. When he pulled away, she continued. "She played in front of a live audience, and no one noticed." Mark used the same manner of shushing as the first, and Erica stopped talking, uttering a simple, "Ummmm" instead.
"Sweetheart, I know where this is going…." He almost seemed annoyed, but really was more conflicted about his own feelings.
"That’s just the thing; we don’t know where this is going. All I know is I saw a completely different aspect of you tonight, and it would be a shame just to file it away under the "experiment" folder.
"But…" Mark started to protest, but this time it was Erica who did the shushing with a kiss of her own.
"Who’s your favorite actor?"
"What?" People sometimes do really stare with their mouth opened.
"Who’s your favorite actor?"
"Well, apart from some of his stupid behavior, Mel Gibson."
"Which role?" Erica by now was nibbling on Mark’s ear. He struggled for a moment, having difficulty concentrating as anyone would.
"The Patriot…Benjamin Martin."
"What about Riggs?" Erica asked, reminding him of the Lethal Weapon series.
"Yeah, sure."
"Harrison Ford a good actor?" She certainly seemed to know where this was leading, but Mark had no clue.
"Yes. Fugitive…Richard Kimble….Patriot Games…."
"What about, ‘Regarding Henry?"
"What about it?" By now Mark was totally confused.
"Kenneth Branagh? Henry the Fifth…you like the Wallender series on Mystery!"
"Yes."
"Heston, Stewart, Brando….just one role?
"No…?"
"A good actor isn’t defined by the role; the role is defined by the actor. Follow me?" He nodded, but it was clear he didn’t.
"You play violin, sweetheart, as lovely and sweetly as anyone who ever played, but you play flute and viola, too. And you play piano. Follow me now?"
"I’m not sure I want to." He quickly rephrased his answer. "I’m not sure I want to hear what you have to say next, even though I’d follow you anywhere."
"I have my favorites as well….Julia Roberts…Judi Dench…I like Mary Wilson…you know, Heart?"
Mark nodded, and it remained clear that he had no clue what words would come from his beautiful wife’s lips.
"I like Beethoven but I also like Sarah McLaughlin. I like Ice Cream, but I like pudding once and a while. She paused, and the look on his face said, "And?"
"I like Classical and I like…Jazz. And I love jazz piano, My Dear."
If this were a Loony Tunes cartoon, Bugs Bunny might have turned to the camera, a light bulb lit over his head as he would utter what Mark said.
"Oh."
She kissed him and sang softly in his ear, "S"Wonderful, S’Marvelous..that you should care for me."
A few miles away, another couple had just gotten home. The raven-haired beauty stood in the archway of the kitchen, sipping herbal tea. The blond had put her purse down and started to walk down the hall.
"And where do you think you’re goin’?" The woman said to the blond in as good a faux-Irish accent that an Italian-Swede can muster.
"I was just going to change," the blond said softly with a real brogue.
"As someone I know once said, ‘Unless you’re changing your shoes or putting on a sweater…"
With that, she set her tea down on the table by the door and walked up to the woman. The blond was lovely in her own way, with rosy Irish cheeks and that kind of enigmatic face that either a guy or a girl would find attractive…..Her lover kissed that face passionately, but abruptly pulled apart. She laughed and snorted loud enough to startle the blond.
"Beseme Mucho…." She laughed again and then said softly as she grabbed her lover’s hand, pulling her gently down the hallway toward the bedroom,
"Beseme Mucho….mi Amor."
As they disappeared into the room; their bull terrier sat outside the door, his tail wagging in approval.
Long As I Can Be With You - With Thanks to Billie Holliday
"Sweetie, what can I do for you," Gina Kelly spoke into the phone. She looked down at her crossword puzzle, and not wanting to miss the moment, put Erica on speaker." Emanating as from a cavern, a voice spoke up,
"Got time for lunch today?" Erica sounded calm, so Gina immediately relaxed. While she and Erica often spoke on the phone, calling her at work was all too frequently the harbinger of bad news.
"Sure…let’s make it an afternoon. The kids had a half-day anyway, and the school stuff is teachers only."
"See you at one at Giorgo’s?" Erica asked.
"One it is, girlfriend. See ya!" Gina gave a sigh of relief, thinking,
"Pizza….Must be something easy," Gina said as she returned to her puzzle,
"Six letter word for mystery…E…N…enigma!" She said triumphantly, not realizing how close she was to the truth.
"So tell me, how are the Kiernan girls doing?" Gina felt clever about the remark, since the two girls in the Kiernan household were her friend Erica, who sat before her, sipping diet coke, and Erica’s husband Mark, who occasionally dressed as his "sister," Maired. Once again, Gina was close to discerning the reason for their lunch date, even if she didn’t know it.
"Well," Erica said, looking quickly at the ceiling to avoid Gina’s eyes. "Do you remember the last few days of your honeymoon," Erica said more rhetorically than as an actual question. Before Gina could answer, Erica continued.
"I’m sorta kinda…." She looked sheepish, as if her mother had just caught her swiping a cookie.
"You didn’t…" Gina said, a grin growing wider across her face.
"Well? Not yet…"
Erica said, looking even more guilty.
Some of you may be aware of Gina’s unique honeymoon, but for those who don’t, as Inigo Montoya might say, let me sum up. Gina had just enjoyed several wonderful days of joy and discovery with her new husband Ben. He had swept her off her feet; flowers waiting for her at the hotel, his grandmother’s keepsake wedding and engagement rings, romance! Her surprise for her new spouse, on the other hand, was to prearrange one last night at a lovely bed and breakfast in Kingston, Ontario, complete with quaint features like themed rooms, communal bath facilities, and a completely different wardrobe for her lover, which included slacks, blouse, hose, shoes, and makeup. She had invited
Ben’s "sister" Katie without Katie’s knowledge. At the risk of repeating herself, this author must point out that Katie had a lovely Irish complexion, and her features would be a blessing for a man or a woman, sort of Jodie-Fosterish.
While the time was awkward at first, it nevertheless provided the couple with an opportunity to explore the growing relationship Gina was beginning to enjoy with Katie, while taking nothing away from her love and respect for Ben.
Gina raised one eyebrow and looked sideways with a half grin, as if to say, "I’m not one to talk." She talked anyway.
"You can’t."
"I can," Erica said with a smile.
"You won’t" Gina parried with her rapier wit.
"I will." Erica counter-parried, thrust and the match was quickly over. Erica sighed a relieved sigh, as if she would have to justify herself. Gina and she went back to when they both chewed gum (Gina still did) and they were writing boys names on their English notebooks.
"Maired is playing piano every day, even when Mark is around…you understand?" Erica looked at Gina with eyes that said, "This is way past anything I understand, and you are the counselor here."
"Sure….he is manifesting certain personality characteristics that once were only present when he dressed as his sister Maired." She said, looking quite proud at the insight. "Honey, it’s all the same stuff, just in different decorations…." With a lovely Irish lass who visited her own home on occasion, Gina knew exactly what Erica was witnessing. "Let me guess….Maired is humming "The Four Seasons (Vivaldi, not Valli)."
"Close…She’s singing the alto part to Handel’s "And the Glory…" which wouldn’t be bad if the other three parts were being sung as well. Anyway, I am confident that I am not losing my husband. He is as affectionate and romantic as ever…even more so since Maired started playing Cole Porter. It’s just…."
"Let me tell you something. Sweetie, it is hard enough trying to figure out what we ourselves need, without having to figure out what someone else thinks is best. Remember that time at that jazz club a few months ago?"
Erica smiled, remembering how special the night was. Maired had a brief coming-out-but-right-back-in evening, where she dazzled the crowd with Porter and Gershwin and company. Gina and Katie had been there, along with Marie, Mark and Maired’s mother (please pardon the alliteration.)
"It was such a romantic evening, that when we got home, I just couldn’t keep my hands off…..Katie." Feeling even more clever, Gina laughed at the timing, and almost snorted her iced tea. "It was just wonderful." At that moment, Gina almost looked like a girl who would write names on her notebook. She and Erica loved their husbands to death, but both, in their own way, had discovered a side of themselves that allowed…no, blessed them with the opportunity to love their "girlfriends" as well. They had fallen in love all over again, but this time in a different way with the same person.
"So I guess there’s just two more things I have to ask, Mrs. Kiernan."
"And what would those be, Dr. Kelly?" Erica asked with mock dread.
"Does your husband know about the affair?" They both giggled.
"And what would the other question be?"
"Why…isn’t it obvious?" Gina said with a conspiratorial smirk. "What can I do to help?"
"So where are we going, light of my life?" Mark asked his wife as they exited the cab. They had just pulled up curbside at the Southwest Terminal.
"Pay the cabby, sweets," Erica said with a smile, attempting with great success in distracting her husband. The cabby extracted the briefcase from the trunk, along with a small suitcase. "We’re traveling light, so no need for a lot of packing." She had told him, fibbing ever so slightly. They took the escalator to the main level, where they found the lines much shorter. Going to Jacksonville in May is usually less crowded.
"I want this to be a surprise, sweetheart, so please don’t ask a lot of questions." Erica actually would have said, "Don’t ask any questions," but that might have given Mark more information that she was prepared to explain. They got everything squared away, and proceeded to the gate, where most of the seats were still empty. A couple of women in their thirties sat talking. By their resemblance, they were most likely sisters. The darker haired of the two kept staring at Mark. Then they switched gears and focused their attention on Erica.
"I think that’s Erica Kiernan," one said to the other. "I recognize her from her photo on Jimmy’s Billy Bear books. "
The second sister nodded in agreement. "She does such a sweet job with kid’s questions about hard stuff. Remember when Nancy’s kitten died? What a sweetheart"
"Who do you suppose that is with her?" She looked at Mark and squinted, trying to gain more focus without much success?
"I don’t know…I think she’s married…Yes…I remember she said she lives with her husband in the Philly area. Do you really think that’s her husband?"
"Why would you say that…she writes such lovely kids books."
Her sister looked over at Mark once again, as if she would have seen something or someone different. She smiled an awkward smile, like when you’ve seen someone you swear you’ve met before but know you haven’t.
"I don’t know, there’s just something…." Her sister interrupted her, trying not to laugh.
"You know, I figured out who he reminds me of. Try not to laugh, I’m serious. You know how some guys look absolutely gorgeous….but…" She hesitated, not wanting her sister to think she was stupid. Her sister, as nice as person as one could be, would never think that. She would, as would more than a few people you might know, did stare at her sister blankly at the following.
"If I didn’t know he was a he…" She paused and stared at Mark. Turning back to her sister, she continued. "With some makeup, you know who he’d look like?" She paused again, as if her sister was on Jeopardy. Her sister looked back, and without much surprise, both of them said almost at the same time,
"Julianne…?" One of them continued. "Julianne….Julianne…?"
Erica had tried not to eavesdrop but overheard their conversation. She looked up from her Kathy Reichs novel and said,
"Nicholson." The sisters turned a red just a shade lighter than Mark’s hair.
They walked into the lobby of the Omni. With just one suitcase and a briefcase, there would be little delay in checking in, something which Erica had wanted to avoid.
"Honey, would you mind getting the paper and maybe another book to read from the stand?" While Mark was busy with the errand, Erica checked in, thus avoiding having the hotel staff discover who she was with and, more importantly, avoiding Mark seeing that the room was reserved for Erica and Maired Underhill (Frodo and Fellowship…Prancing Pony…go on…you remember.)
Erica looked up and down the hall while exiting the elevator. Mark was leaning against the elevator wall, reading the paper, or he would have noticed this ploy. Seeing no one, Erica walked quickly across the hall to their room (planned ahead). Opening the door, she quickly entered, followed by her husband, who was engrossed in the Major League box scores for the day before. The Marlins and the Mets were still chasing the Phillies. He didn’t notice that luggage was already sitting by the dresser. Dr. Gina Kelly had accomplished her assignment in the conspiracy by sending the luggage ahead for Erica. Mark put down the suitcase and briefcase and walked into the bathroom, looking for a glass for ice water.
"Why don’t you go ahead and take a shower, sweetie. After the flight you must be tired."
Please forgive her for that remark. He was in almost excellent health, but even after two years of being cancer free, he still had his moments of fatigue. Really, they were infrequent at that point, but she needed time for the rest of her plan, so she sort of encouraged him to "take care of himself" on occasion.
Mark got out of the shower and toweled off. His hair was now almost down to his shoulders, and could look quite attractive with the right attention. Being a music teacher (pardon the stereotype) might have led to little attention regarding his hair, but really, hardly anybody minds that stuff anymore. Either way, his hair, as long as it had grown, fit into Erica’s plan just nicely as well. He walked into the suite to find Erica on one of the two beds, her back propped up against the headboard, reading her novel.
"Have a nice shower?" She asked. She smiled lovingly at him, which only momentarily distracted him from what he discovered sitting on the other bed. Draped out in a neat and orderly pile were the following: White linen slacks and jacket; Jade silk blouse, lingerie and hose (A little cool in May in Jacksonville) and a pair of white strap sandals with two inch heels. A make up bag lay beside the pile. Sitting on top of the pile of clothes was a smallish oblong box.
"Oh…No!" Mark said. His usually quiet voice raised a decibel and an octave, making him sound just as loud as others speak in their regular voice.
"Just hear me out." Erica said. Mark was so nonplussed that he was unable to interrupt.
"First, please don’t be angry with me. I went to a lot of trouble to set this up, so at least listen before you decide.
If you don’t want to do what I am about to ask, then we’ll just have a few days in sunny Florida and then go home." She loved him enough to accept whatever he chose, and they still would have a lovely vacation. Mark looked past Erica and out the window, where it had ironically started to rain. "You…." She said, and then softer, "Maired is entered in the Jacksonville Jazz Piano Festival competition. Maired….Underhill. Mark would have appreciated the homage to Tolkien had he not been…well, it was hard to tell. His face was turning a bright red, and while he didn’t get angry often, Erica wasn’t sure it was embarrassment, either.
"I can’t." Here’s where it might be embarrassing for most guys, but keep in mind, this is a man who grew up part of his life mourning his twin sister. Not a weak man in the least, he had survived his own bout with cancer as well as the loss of a child. Much of what he did, however, both as his alter ego and as himself, was done in trying to honor, even measure up to his late sister’s memory. Even after success as a musician in his own right; even after Erica’s love and acceptance welcomed his other self, he remained in competition with his alter-ego, Maired. He wanted to be accepted as Erica’s husband, as you might expect. He and his alter ego would eventually come to an agreement as to how much time each of them spent with Erica, but both would discover that while Erica was fond of Maired, she absolutely loved her husband. But that would be later, and this is then.
Erica got up from the bed and walked over to her husband. She kissed him on the cheek and held up her finger, as if to silence him. She walked over to the window and drew the drapes closed. She returned to Mark and grabbed him by the hand. She walked him over to the second bed and pushed the novel aside. Without warning, she grabbed the robe and pulled it off of him. Lying down on the bed, she spread her hair across the pillow like a 40’s pinup. She patted the bed and used her hand to beckon him. He stood for a moment, and his wife repeated the gesture with a loving smile. He walked over to the bed, and she pulled him on top of her. He saw that her eyes had misted up, ever so slightly.
"God, Mark, I love you so much," she said softly but firmly. "I love YOU." And then she pulled him into her and received him.
After an understandable bout with extremely large butterflies, Maired was ready to play. She actually looked forward to the performance, and she really enjoyed the “warm-up,” if you’ll pardon the expression. The striking redhead played an absolutely charming variation of Vince Guaraldi’s "Christmas Time is Here," from "Charlie Brown’s Christmas." She finished just out of the final five, but was well received. Several of the artists noted with some disappointment the breathtaking diamond on her left ring finger. Most, if not all, of them failed to notice the gorgeous brunette at the back of the theater, who smiled through misty eyes with love and pride. And none of them heard the woman singing quietly to herself,
"Isn’t this a lovely day to be caught in the rain?"
The Secret Redux
Celtic Woman’s "The Blessing" played in the background and both women had allowed their tea to grow cold.
"I really don't think this is necessary," Maired said as Erica brushed out her long dark red hair. "We already have a photo for the next CD, why do we need another one." Maired was uncharacteristically loud, which made her almost as loud as Erica's "inside" voice, like they say in grammar school.
"I think you look nice, My Dear." Erica looked over her lover, noting the nice magenta skirt-dress with matching heels. "The production people lost the photo CD we sent over, and they just figured you might as well take a nice new photo for your new work." "Her" new work actually was the CD she helped her "brother" Mark produce and record. She had put down her own tracks privately, and had not actually met the other members of his band, per se, having met them, of course in his normal Mark persona. But that was about to change.
"I'll drop you off at the studio and pick you up after my meeting with the publishers. Marie is over at my mom's for the afternoon, so we can get our errands done. Billy Bear is going Korean and Maori this week, so they need me to look at Grace's new artwork." Billy Bear was the main character, as you may recall, in Erica's children's series, which had begun to be published overseas. And you may recall that Marie was their recently adopted daughter. Erica had planned for an uneventful afternoon, but you know what they say about the best plans….
"Hello, is anyone here?" Maired said as she opened the door to the studio. The last photo session of all the band members was taken in the back office against a nice blue backdrop, so she headed to the rear of the studio. She was looking at some liner notes when she was surprised by Bobby Cahill. As tall and blond and handsome as they come; seeing Bobby caused Maired to blush ever so slightly, despite already knowing him through her “brother.”
"Excuse me, Miss, can I help you," Bobby said. He noticed a familiar face and continued,
"Oh, gosh, you must be Maired Underhill, Mark's sister. I'm glad to finally meet you. You play piano with such verve, Ma'am, and I feel privileged to be on the same recording as you." Bobby had played bass on the last CD and was slated to do the same for the new recording. Maired was so surprised (and not just a little nervous) that she dropped the liner notes. Both reached for the notes at the same time and butted heads, evoking a soft "Ouch," from Maired and a smile from Bobby. He reached again and placed his hand over Maired's, sending an awkward, unwelcome but entirely nice electric feeling up Maired's arm.
"Here, let me get that," Bobby said, and their eyes met. Bobby felt that he must have met Maired before, since she looked so familiar, but he put it off to her being Mark's sister. The engineer came into the studio a few minutes later and took the photo, leaving Maired and Bobby to attend to some other matters. Bobby looked at Maired and noted that her left hand wore no ring (She wore the diamond Erica had given her only on special occasions.) Bobby stepped closer to Maired, but still at a gentlemanly distance and said,
"I'm glad we finally got the chance to meet. I hope we can work together some time soon." With that, he smiled and walked out to his car and drove off. Maired would likely have been embarrassed about her embarrassment, if that were possible, since her face was almost as red as her hair.
Meanwhile, across town, Erica was busy with her own encounter, which she would find both awkward and nice at the same time. She was busy looking over the new artwork for the Asian Billy Bear market when she was startled by a decidedly masculine voice coming from behind.
"Hi, I'm Tom Grazzioso. Dave is busy with another project this afternoon and sends his apologies. He'll see you next week, if that's okay." Tom offered his hand only after Erica extended hers, remembering his manners. Tom stood about 6'2" and was likely the most attractive man Erica had ever met, save her own adorable husband. She found herself staring at him and quickly turned away, faking a sneeze. Tom proffered the obligatory "Bless you," and sat down at the conference table next to Erica. She grew uncomfortable and hoped she wasn't blushing. (She was, but only on the inside.) The afternoon proved to be long, uncomfortably warm, and remarkably pleasant considering these were all mixed with doubt and guilt.
"I met Bobby Cahill today," Maired said as she put her purse down on the table by the door. Erica followed suit and soon both were on the couch, hugging. Marie was in her baby seat on the floor, fast asleep. Erica looked puzzled at Maired’s remark.
"But you already...Oh, I get it," Erica said in recognition. "Mark knows Bobby from high school, but he's never met Maired." Maired was going to say something about what happened when they bumped heads, but Erica spoke first.
"There's a new guy at the publishers that I'm working with. Tom Grazzioso." She said Tom's name with a little more emphasis than she had meant, and Maired became uncomfortable, tensing up. After nearly four years of being "around," Maired and Erica continued to have the infrequent but awkward moment or two when she failed to remember how Mark needed support. It was odd, but not uncommon for spouses to forget that however comfortable they might be with their husband's or boyfriend's girl persona, their men might often need reinforcement in the male area as well. It's all a bit confusing; I have a hard time keeping it straight myself. Mark as Maired felt immediately threatened by Erica's mention of her new male co-worker. Neither Maired nor Erica realized just how much they were affected by their new acquaintances, but they were about to find out.
Maired was home spending a nice afternoon with Erica and Marie when the phone rang. She picked up the receiver and heard. "Hi, Mark, how's it going?" Bobby asked, causing Mark to answer, "Okay," and Bobby quickly followed it with,
"I absolutely adore your sister, bro. Is she dating anyone?"
"Not to my knowledge," Mark answered, knowing full well that "she" wasn't seeing anyone.
"If you see her, tell her I enjoyed meeting her, and I'd love to take her out, if that's okay." Unlike a lot of guys that might ask that question, Bobby was indeed a gentleman and really would treat someone like Maired well. Mark said goodbye and hung up the phone. He tried not to, but immediately recalled the feeling he had when Bobby and Maired touched. His face grew red, causing Erica to say as she walked into the room,
"What's so embarrassing, My Dear," Erica asked, causing Maired to respond,
"Bobby just asked if I’m seeing anyone."
"Well, silly, you’re not seeing anyone. Don’t you want to go out?" She was teasing, but her words caused even more embarrassment and just a little bit of guilt as Maired had thought of that already.
Erica sat at the conference table, feeling very uncomfortable and oddly nice at the same time. She looked over at Tom, who was holding a folder and pointing to the door, as if expecting someone to enter.
"I'm actually glad that Dave is out sick. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed work so much." Tom was really a gentleman, but a recent widower, who probably had let his guard down, and lost sight of his own boundaries. He reached over and placed his hand softly on Erica's and squeezed gently. He really didn't mean to flirt, and she really didn't mean to respond, but she smiled at him and while she didn't encourage him, neither did she put him off.
Later that evening, Erica had just put Marie to bed when Mark entered the room. He looked uncomfortable, and not just because of the conversation he and Erica had been having. He was worried about what might take place when he followed Erica’s suggestion.
"Oh, go ahead, it'll be fun." Mark didn't think it would be fun at all, but you may remember that you might find something entirely wonderful as your girl-self that your guy-self might hate. Mark didn't turn red, but felt almost ashamed at his feelings. He "reluctantly" agreed as Maired to meet Bobby for coffee at Erica's suggestion...just for fun. Erica didn't realize at the time, but her desire to see Maired go out on a date was rooted solidly in her own desire to explore her own feelings for Tom, such as they were. And Maired felt guilty even as she thought about what might happen when the two met. Both would discover a lot about themselves over the course of the next day or so.
Bobby and Maired walked along the shore of the pond at the park. Bobby had spent much of the time complementing Maired, which “turned her head,” as your grand mom might say. She was almost intoxicated by the acceptance, which while foreign to her, still felt somehow right. It seemed like, as they say, “a good idea at the time.” Maired would quickly find out it wasn’t right at all…for her.
After a while they found a bench overlooking the pond, where two swans nuzzled politely and one goose honked rudely at the pair. They sat down, and Bobby, ever the gentleman, kept his distance even as he paid Maired yet another complement.
"You play beautifully, Maired. I'd love to hear you live sometime," Bobby said and reached over and took Maired's hand in his. He hadn’t meant to be forward, but here he was with a pretty “unattached” girl. She blushed, partly out of embarrassment since she still was a shy girl even after being "out and about" for nearly four years, as we know. But she, as Mark, was also ashamed at having odd but nice feelings at the attention Bobby was giving Maired. And she didn't do anything to discourage Bobby, either, leaving him to say,
"I hope we can become closer." Almost like a movie, he raised her hand with his and kissed it softly like a suitor. She blushed in earnest and tried to pull her hand away, but smiled politely at the same time, which Bobby misread completely. He moved closer to her side and leaned over and kissed her. Mark felt frightened and ashamed even as Maired enjoyed the attention. She was completely surprised at her reaction but shouldn’t have been; it was, after all, the first time she had ever been kissed by a man.
Erica sat next to Tom in the conference room. Dave had to leave early for a meeting with another author, so they were left alone, both feeling awkward and confused and scared and excited and wonderful, albeit with a lot of guilt as well.
"You really didn't have to go to the trouble, Tom, really." Erica looked up at Tom, who had placed a nice bouquet in front of her on the conference table. "Nonsense," Tom said with a kind smile. "Just a reward for having finished our work." He really had no intentions of kissing Erica at that point, but she was there, and he still missed the affection he enjoyed with his late wife. He leaned over and kissed her, much less romantically than you might have expected, but romantic nonetheless. Erica tried not to enjoy the attention, but she was being kissed by a handsome man, and we can forgive her that, since she would eventually be forgiven by both herself and Mark. But she gave way to the moment and kissed Tom back. It was the first kiss she had ever received from anyone other than her spouse, and it felt good and bad at the same time.
Bobby pulled away immediately at Maired’s “No, please,” followed by “I’m so sorry…” Maired and Mark began to cry at the same time, if you follow me. Mark was ashamed and really was sorry to have led Bobby on. Maired was sad and scared, and altogether confused about her new feelings. Bobby, ever the gentleman, looked at her with understanding and acceptance that you might not have expected, but then again, I did say he was a gentleman.
"I am so sorry, Maired. I shouldn't have. Please forgive me."
"I...I'm so sorry...I should have told you, but...." She buried her head in her hands.
Bobby was a great guy, and perhaps a little more perceptive than most. He waited until Maired had composed herself and then said this,
"I only just realized when I kissed you, but I...well, hell, it seemed...” He paused and smiled; much as you might remember your brother smile when you told him a secret; a smile that indicated that you’ve got nothing to worry about.
“It's okay, bro. We all have our secrets. I never would have guessed, and I must say you had me going. But I know how much you love Erica...you've told me as much on more than …several occasions. I can't say I didn't enjoy it, but that's more credit to Maired than to you.” He laughed, more to himself than to Maired, and he certainly didn’t want to embarrass her at all.
“Let's just say we're not made for each other and let it go at that, okay." He smiled again, and his demeanor changed from potential suitor back to good friend and band mate. Hard to fathom, but that's the way relationships go sometimes. Mark and Bobby would once again be friends; buddies as they say, for life, but they never, ever talked about “the” kiss again. Years later, however, when Bobby was married with his own family, he would get his kids laughing at the story.
"I'm so sorry, Tom." Erica sat next to her friend at the table, patting his back. He was weeping, more out of grief than embarrassment. She felt ashamed herself for leading him on, and she said,
"It was wrong of me. You are so attractive, and..." Erica tried to finish, but started crying herself, when Tom patted her on the arm.
"I know. I'm sorry. I miss Jennie so much, and you are such an attractive woman. Please forgive me." They traded apologies back and forth for several minutes. As painful as the thought was, Erica knew she needed to talk with Mark about what happened between her and Tom. And Maired had some things she needed to talk about with her as well.
That night, after nearly two hours of rocking Marie to sleep, they lay in their own bed, nearly exhausted from the day’s events. Chloe Agnew’s "Floating in the Air" came softly from the CD player, which aided Marie’s drift into slumber land.
"It's okay, sweetheart, I understand." Erica really didn't understand it all, but then again, neither did Mark. They held each other and cried and they laughed; nervously at first, but almost in fun after a while. After all, they had loved each other since they were kids, and the events of the day just provided them with another interesting opportunity to discover just how much they loved each other. And while they never forgot the odd and wonderful feelings they had earlier that day, they also noted that Tom and Bobby weren't nearly good kissers as Mark and Erica, and Maired, too, as they reminded themselves over and over and over throughout the night.
Exploration
“So tell me, My Dear, what would you like for your birthday?” Erica said as she stood over the stove, stirring the tomato sauce. You might recall that Erica never, ever used the term “My Dear” when speaking to her spouse unless she was referring to Maired, Mark’s alter-ego.
The last few birthdays celebrated in the Kiernan household were for Mark. One birthday in particular was celebrated for his late twin sister Maura, who you may remember had succumbed to cancer in her teens. But the family had never thought about Maired in that regard, since “she” was just part of his personality, however important, and had no “real” life of her own. Erica felt that there needed to be a change this year. She had come to treasure Maired as a lovely and important part of her relationship with her husband, and he had finally come to the place of feeling secure enough about himself to let “her” visit as often as she chose. Sound confusing? It probably is, but for the familiarity some of you may have in relating to this lovely couple.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Maired said as she chopped some garlic for the sauce. She smiled at Erica and continued. “I know Mark’s been wanting to read the new Vince Flynn novel, and Sue Grafton has another alphabet mystery….W or X if I recall. There’s something about owning a book, even when your favorite place is the public library.”
“I know what Mark wants, sweetheart, it’s what you want that interests me,” she said as she took the chopped garlic off the cutting board and put it in the pot. “I’ve been thinking about some things we could do together that might make your birthday special, this year, My Dear.”
There was that term of endearment again. She was determined to wrench something out of Maired. It was really a case of being over-considerate. Maired, even after nearly four years of being an integral part of the Kiernan household, nevertheless continued to feel like an interloper; as if she didn’t belong, despite encouragement from Erica. Today would mark the beginning of a change in their relationship. It would be awkward at first, even though they had made several attempts over the past few years, but this time they would find out more about themselves and this attempt at exploration would be fruitful and wonderful and funny and nice all at once. Erica finally said, with mock-impatience,
“Dammit, girl, forget everyone else, what do you want for your birthday?” Maired actually started blushing at the word, but Erica continued, this time in non-verbal fashion. She put the spoon on the counter, walked over to the table, leaned over and kissed Maired hard and passionately. Erica moaned softly in Maired’s ear before whispering,
“Perhaps this might give you some ideas?” She kissed Maired again and returned to the stove and stirred the sauce. She looked back at Maired, whose face had turned nearly as red as her hair.
“I’m sure that you can come up with something, My Dear, but I’ve got some ideas of my own.” We can talk about it over coffee.
Unlike most of Erica’s and Gina’s schemes, their respective partners were included in the plans this time. Marie, their adorable toddler, was not quite nineteen months, and had become completely enamored with the occasional visit to Grandma’s house. Diane, Erica’s mother, had just invited a sweet couple they knew to live with her and share her home. Between the three women, Marie would be well looked after and spoiled.
Their friend April was expecting their first, and she just adored Marie. Motherhood and marriage were fairly foreign concepts to April, who had been convinced at one time that she would settle down with a girlfriend and enjoy life as a loving if not quite committed adult. She had not planned on falling in love with Lainey, and certainly marriage was never “in the cards,” as she once put it. But sometimes things have a way of surprising us. Lainey was an adorable girl, somewhat younger and shorter than April; and she was also somewhat ….male. Lainey had chosen to live her life as a woman, but she was going to be a Daddy for the first time, which confused everyone except Erica’s mother Diane, who had experienced the very same thing with her own beloved Ronni, the father of her daughter. (For those who are nearly as confused as this author, you may consult her stories, “Another Secret,” and “Providence.” All this to say, Marie would be in good, loving hands for four or so days as Erica and Maired got away for a nice long weekend.
“Are you sure she’s okay with this?” “She” being Gina’s husband Ben’s alter-ego, Katie. Katie was no stranger to forays into the real world; she had participated as a bridesmaid for two weddings, attended a jaza club en femme, and even accompanied her “brother” along on his honeymoon at the insistence of the bride. This weekend actually promised to be a lot of fun and a time of discovery for both couples. Maired was actually glad that Katie and Gina would be coming along with her and Erica. Gina felt that Katie deserved just as much of a special weekend as Maired, and Erica and Maired were happy to share this time as well.
“I know Katie’s actually looking forward to this, but I’m not sure she’s ready for the “payout,” Gina grinned as she thought of Erica’s plan. All four “girls” would be traveling to the Boston area for a few unique experiences. Erica had planned for a trip to a dressing service for a complete makeover for all four girls. While the service usually only caterered to t-girls, all four women would enjoy a makeover and photo shoot. The rest of the weekend was promising to be intriguing as well, since Erica had once again booked Maired into a jazz gig,; this time at Scullers in Boston. The next day would include a daytrip to a spa, and the following day would be a secret as final surprise for the birthday weekend. It would proved to be a memorable birthday indeed, and in wonderful ways Erica could never have anticipated.
Many Happy Returns!
When I look in your eyes I see the wisdom of the world in your eyes
I see the sadness of a thousand goodbyes
When I look in your eyes
It was the evening before their trip. You may recall that as a birthday gift to Maired, Erica and Maired and Gina and Katie were going on a nice long weekend trip to Boston. Their little girl Marie was safely off to the Esposito/McPherson home, as they liked to call it. April wasn't due for at least another three weeks, so they felt safe leaving Marie with the happy couple. (See Providence) Lainey had just come to the conclusion that she really didn't want to be a daddy after all. She would provide their daughter with all the love and encouragement that a daddy might give his daughter, just from a decidedly feminine perspective. She and April had decided that there would be no physical changes in their future because they enjoyed each other just the way they were, in a manner of speaking, as well as having plans for as many brothers and sisters God would bless their daughter with, but little Diana Regina Esposito would grow up with Mama April and Mama Lainey. Any confusion or questions would be handled with the help of their new friend Renee Montalbano, a lovely woman who had raised her daughter with her wife Carmen. They met Renee and Carmen one day at the store, and all four, well five, since Diane is always everyone’s friend, struck up a friendship which extended past closing hours to dinner at their home. Lainey would remain non-op, to use an absolutely way-too-clinical sterile term, and while others might make a different but equally valid choice, she would nevertheless be a mother to her daughter along with her beautiful bride.
When I look in your eyes,
I see the wisdom of the world in your eyes
I see the sadness of a thousand goodbyes
When I look in your eyes
Erica placed the suitcases on the bed and began to pack. She grabbed lingerie and some PJ's, but didn't pack any other clothing. Mark had left for the weekend, so to speak, and Maired was standing by the closet.
"What do you want me to get? I think your blue floral might be nice for tomorrow evening, yes?" She turned around and saw Erica standing by the bed with a sheepish grin on her face, as if she were going to say something...well not so bad, but not necessarily great either. She noticed Maired's worried look and broke into laughter.
"Oh, don't worry; I just have a little birthday surprise for you, sorta early." She grabbed Maired by the hand and pulled her close for a passionate kiss, followed by,
"I think you deserve a new wardrobe." She smiled and began to laugh again. "And I think I deserve one, too. You and I and Gina and Katie are all going shopping tomorrow on the way up to Boston. Breakfast at 8:00 sharp at Ruby's Diner and then off to Willow Grove for some retail therapy. We have had a long hard road the past few years, and we need some time to enjoy each other. You may recall that Mark had struggled with Maired's role in the relationship, but recently he had come to a peace about Maired place in the Kiernan home. He no longer felt threatened by her, so to speak, and she was finally enjoying her own place as Erica's lover, if you will; hence the birthday celebration for Maired.
“I got you an early present, sweetheart. It's hanging in a garment bag on the back of the bathroom door. Go have a nice shower and then try it on and come out for a walk down the runway." She kissed her again and licked her ear playfully before shoving her into the bathroom.
A few minutes later, Maired came out. She wore a lovely bridal ensemble from Victoria's Secret. A lovely satin floor length gown with lace overlay at the bosom. The matching robe was also floor length, but high enough off the floor to reveal open toed white two-inch heel slippers. She actually was crying softly, more out of a release of anxiety after so many struggles with her identity. Being the same person as her "brother" it really wasn't a struggle between the two as much as a long journey of exploration that was finally providing her and Erica once again with the permission never really needed to enjoy each other. She looked around, but Erica wasn't in sight. Closing the bathroom door, she was startled to find Erica hiding behind the door. Erica wore a rose lace peony garter thong with matching hose and three-inch heeled pumps...and nothing else.
And it is no surprise,
To see the softness of the moon in your eyes
the gentle sparkle of the stars in your eyes
when I look in your eyes
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, My Dear Maired, Happy Birthday to you!" Erica sang in a breathy whisper in Maired's ear, all the while rubbing her breast against Maired's, which felt wonderful through the soft fabric of her gown. She grabbed her and kissed her again. Her hands explored and probed and caressed, aided by her long fingernails. Maired kissed back, not merely content to receive, her own hands exploring and caressing, sans the long nails, owing more to her piano playing than expected conventions. They fell onto the bed, which Erica had remade with new linens and some nice new pillows. Their love continued throughout the evening and well into the night, finally complete with Erica asleep in Maired's arms as Maired sang “In your eyes, I see the deepness of the sea I see the deepness of the love the love I feel you feel for me” before drifting off herself in a quiet peace.
It was already proving to be an interesting day. The four women sat in a corner booth at the diner, After finishing breakfast, Gina and Katie and Erica sang Happy Birthday to Maired over coffee, causing her red cheeks to grow redder, if that was possible. The diners watched as the women got up to leave the restaurant. At one table near theirs, two sisters sat with their husbands for a nice long-weekend breakfast sans the kiddies. The two could have been twins, but they were a year and a half apart and very attractive themselves. The older, I believe, said,
“Oh my god! Look. It’s Erica Kiernan. You remember last year when we saw them at the airport. “You may notice that even the nicest, most polite people you know may grow louder when they get excited. Well, these nice ladies were most polite, but the younger of the two said loudly,
“That redhead with her looks just like…Julianne…” The two had the same block remembering the actress.
“Julieanne….Now don’t tell me…I’ve almost got it.” The older said.
“She looks just like Erica’s husband….” The younger woman’s eyes widened. All the while their husbands looked as if they wanted to be anywhere but there. Once again, Erica couldn’t help overhear the two and was going to walk over. Gina looked once at her and said,
“That’s okay, sweetie, I’ve got this one.” She walked up to the table and smiled.
“Julieanne Nicholson…Law and Order CI... Jeff Goldbloom’s her new partner. Come on, girls, you know.” She said this even louder than the two sisters, finishing with,
“Her name’s Maired Underhill and she’s the best jazz pianist not married to Elvis Costello,” she said, referring to Diana Krall, Maired’s and, as you may have noticed, this author’s favorite musician. Happily, Gina had already finished her coffee or she would have snorted it out when she laughed as she walked away.
The expedition wound its way through hill and dale, field and stream; actually a trip up the interstate to Willow Grove Park Mall, where they found remarkable sales on just about everything everywhere. After getting a few ensembles for the rest of the weekend, they left for lunch, but not before having some fun again shopping for shoes at Aldo’s. A nice young man, fairly new and easily embarrassed had an even nicer opportunity to display both characteristics when he was fitting Katie with a pair of sling backs with a nice two-inch heel. She had never been shopping for shoes before, having Gina pick them out for her over the last few years, as you might expect. She wore a nice silk full-skirted aqua dress, which came to just below her knee and rode up her leg just a little as she sat down. Katie was almost as easily embarrassed as the young man before her, and you might have expected her fair complexion to grow pink, but she maintained her composure when the clerk fumbled with the left shoe. The same sense of humor usually found in her “brother” Ben came out as she said with her soft brogue,
“I think you might have more success, perhaps, if you spent less attention on my calf and more on my heel, yes?” The young man's face turned crimson, and this time fate was unkind as Gina snorted the diet Coke she had been sipping.
After a quick bite at T.G.I.Fridays, it was on the road again up to I78 and over through New Jersey heading to New England. They were in no hurry, and stopped at the Radisson in New Rochelle, New York at about five. A conspiracy of sorts was cooked up, not by Gina and Erica, but Maired and Katie. After checking in, Maired steered Gina into her room with Erica while she and Katie took the other room. There was something they had wanted to try, and now was as good a time as any to experiment. After dinner at the hotel restaurant, the ladies retired to their respective rooms. Gina sat on the edge of her bed after changing for the night; she wore jade green tap pants and matching camisole. She was a little restless, and kept looking over at the door while Erica settled into bed after changing into her PJs, a nice cream floral satin top with matching shorts. She had the newest Faye Kellerman mystery, and was perfectly content to relax for the remainder of the evening. Gina had a pad of graph paper and a New York Times Diagramless Crossword Book she’d purchased at Borders, but her attention remained on the door.
Finally, the suspense was killing her enough to walk into the hallway, failing to notice she had neglected to put on her robe. She knocked ever so emphatically on the door to the adjoining suite. She didn’t suspect anything unusual, but you never know. A few moments later, Katie opened the door. She was wearing gray silk PJs under a matching robe. Maired was sitting on the bed by the window sipping diet Sierra Mist.
“Okay…what gives? Why the secrecy?” Gina said, staring at Katie with an expression that almost rendered her words redundant.
“We wanted to see….” Here’s where it gets confusing, even for this writer, but it made perfect sense to Maired and Katie. Gina stepped into the room to find the TV tuned to MyNIne in NYC, where the Phillies were beating the Yankees handily.
“We wanted to do something that Ben and Mark might like.” “We” being Maired and Katie; they had never done anything together that didn’t include their wives or their wives plots and schemes, and they wanted to see if their likes and dislikes “followed” them while en femme, if that makes any sense. You may recall that Maired’s taste in music was somewhat different at first from her “brother’s.” Katie had noticed that even after four or so years, she had grown to like foods that Ben hated. Such is life, I suppose. Gina sat down on the bed and looked at the two girls watching the ballgame and laughed and said,
“I wonder if Primetime would want to do a show about you two.” She got up and went back to her room.
After the ballgame finished, a knock came softly at Gina’s and Erica’s door. Maired was standing in the hallway, with her Bible under one arm and a pillow. The only thing missing was a dolly, since her expression was almost like a little girl at that point. She wore nice wine colored satin PJ’s and a crocheted shawl that was her mother’s.
She smiled and said softly,
“Can I change my mind?” She scrunched down ever so slightly and smiled. Gina pulled her close and gave her a nice hug and a kiss on her cheek, saying,
“Of course, sweetie, you can have anything you want; you’re the birthday girl.” She waved back to Erica and walked over to the other room and entered. Maired closed the door and walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to, Erica.
“I missed you.” Maired said softly. Erica put down her book, lay back on the pillow and opened her pajama top.
She grabbed Maired’s hand and pulled her down onto the bed and said,
“As did I, My Dear, as did I.”
“Do you still love me?” Katie said. While Ben had become fairly secure in himself, Katie still needed assurances every now and then.
“Oh, honey, of course.” Gina looked almost hurt, but she was actually concerned about what Katie just said. “I love you deeply and truly and madly.” She pulled Katie close and kissed her passionately, while whispering in her ear. What they said to each other I cannot reveal, but rest assured that they had a perfectly wonderful evening and even nicer night.
A few years ago, my beautiful bride and I rented a room to a lovely couple from Beijing. One morning at breakfast, the wife said to us that they knew we had an argument the night before, but they were happy to know we had made up.
When I asked how they knew, she said, and while I can’t quote the Mandarin, I believe the translation was that they heard us making “happy sounds.” The guests at the hotel might not have wanted to admit it, but they probably were sure they heard “happy sounds” from both couples.
The Look of Love
"Oh, go ahead; you look just wonderful." Gina smiled and looked at her lover Katie. She was wearing a gorgeous cobalt blue sequined mini-dress and four inch heels, along with a long curly auburn wig; a departure from her own collar length "serviceable" blonde hair. The photographer had her standing with her hands on her hips with her back to the camera, looking over her shoulder with a come-hither expression.
Erica and Gina were treating Maired and Katie to a day of pampering. First, all four "women" would receive makeovers courtesy of Austin's Angels in Auburn, Massachusetts; a world renowned makeover and dressing service for special "girls.
"What if someone sees this?" Katie said, worrying that her "cover" might be blown back in Penn Wynne, where "she" was Dr. Ben Kelly, middle school psychologist.
Jamie has given us assurances that these pictures are for our use only, and that none of what he does today will ever be published on his website”. Gina smiled at Katie's shyness, what some might find annoying, given her proclivity for shrinking into the background on occasion, but this was one of the things Gina loved so much about her husband. And she was happy to enjoy this side of him with utter abandon, since the weekend had been planned for just the "girls," which naturally included Erica, Gina's best friend as well as the birthday "girl," Maired, Erica's husband's other half.
The four of them had been pampered all afternoon, and they were satisfied with the final set of pictures. Even though the service catered to cross dressers and the like, the two wives got to enjoy the dress up and photo shoot along with Katie and Maired.
Gina's favorite pose had her in nothing but furs sitting on a couch. She held up an ermine coat to her body, barely covering her front, and her look said, "Take me, I'm yours."
Maired was too shy for anything provocative, and settled (not settled, really, since it was a gorgeous photo) for a pose in a midnight blue strapless gown with her hair up, exposing a lovely diamond choker. She held her violin in such a manner as to be sexy, if that were possible, and the shoot was enhanced by a fan off camera that swept her hair back even further, revealing gorgeous tear-drop earrings.
Katie didn't really have a favorite pose, since she felt uncomfortable throughout the afternoon, but the cobalt dress did the trick, and the picture was destined to adorn their fireplace mantle at home.
Erica wore a lovely maroon half-slip, and hose with four inch heels in matching maroon. She covered her bare breasts with her hands, and she lay back on a lovely four poster bed, her head to the camera with her hair draped over the edge of the bed like a starlet posing for a Celebrity magazine.
The favorite photo of the afternoon was a picture of the four of them dressed in identical strapless charcoal taffeta gowns; Gina, Erica and Katie sat on a wide couch with Maired laying across their laps, with all four sporting gorgeous smiles and holding champagne glasses as a toast to the day.
After their session, the four gathered themselves and went to the Euphoria Day Spa in town, where they received the most relaxing day of care. The staff had been "warned" that two of the four women in the party were "special," but the management made sure they had made "accommodations" for the quartet. After a few hours of facials and massages and manicures and pedicures, the girls headed to the hotel for a wind-down before dinner. The evening was going to be much more low-key, as far as Maired understood, but she was in for a surprise.
That evening, the four set out for what ostensibly was a relaxing dinner after a long day of attention. Tonight was supposed to be less "public;' dressed down with slacks and blouses and low heels in various shades and combinations. But Erica and Gina had made other plans, which would prove to be a lot of fun, once the other "girls' got past their fears. The dinner was great, but the remainder of the evening was better, at least from Gina and Erica's point of view, since it included karaoke.
Maired, of course, had performed in public countless times; both as Mark Kiernan, violinist and pianist. And she also had appeared a few times as Maired Underhill, Mark's jazz piano playing alter ego. She had even placed sixth in a jazz competition in Florida a few years ago. So while she was somewhat reluctant, she nevertheless got into the spirit of the evening, performing a duet with Erica; "The Boy is Mine" by Monica and Brandy; which got Katie blushing almost beet red and Gina snorting her glass of merlot. Gina performed "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," by Pat Benatar, and did a very good job of causing Katie to blush once again.
The evening's special moment came when Katie got up; rather was pushed on stage by Gina and Erica, who were laughing almost hysterically...But they were surprised, since other than Katie's "brother" Ben singing Irish favorites in the shower, Gina had never heard Katie sing in public. After composing herself with a few "ahems" and "ums", she sang "Someday," by Celtic Woman. Her voice was sweet and melodic, enhanced by her soft brogue, and her sincere if somewhat shy demeanor gave the small crowd chills as the words gained more meaning than just a karaoke performance for strangers.
Someday, when we are wiser,
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray someday we may
Yet live to live and let live
Erica and Maired held hands as they listened to the lovely and timely lyrics. Gina looked at Katie, seeing more than just a persona of her husband; she saw Katie in a new light with a deeper understanding of just how much God had blessed her with this person she loved. Gina never was one to hold back tears, but she would never have been considered sentimental, yet she buried her face in Maired's shoulder and wept. The patrons wondered why she was so emotional, but Gina knew enough about Katie's past, along with her friends' struggles, both the couple with her and friends back home, to remember that there was still more to be done.
Their part in the evening's entertainment finished with Maired singing "The Look of Love" to Erica. None of the folks at the restaurant had any idea about Maired's "true" nature, and were amused and pleased at the openness of this lovely couple's unique relationship, especially when Maired sang, "Be mine tonight, let this be just the start of so many nights like this. Let's take a lover's vow and then seal it with a kiss” She followed it up with a completely comfortable relaxed and entirely amorous kiss with Erica.
The four got applause as they sat back down and stayed to listen to the musical stylings of the other patrons. They finished the evening by returning to the hotel, where the couples retired to their respective rooms. The night proved to be entirely romantic. Erica and Gina had champagne sent to their rooms, and both wives spent the evening demonstrating just how much they loved their "girlfriends, and the guests at this hotel were also treated to "happy sounds."
Let’s Face the Music and Dance
But while there's moonlight and music
And love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
"You can't honey...this isn't fair to you!"
"I told you long ago that I've loved you for so long; I want what's best for you...for us." Erica was looking at Maired, but speaking to Mark, if you follow me. "What's not fair is holding you back!"
"But not at your expense." Mark said.
"I'm willing to take that risk."
This debate had been going on for over an hour, and neither was budging, more out of deference to the other than to any stubbornness or selfish motive. They loved each other that much; it was almost a transgender version of O'Henry's "Gift of the Magi." Erica was willing to jeopardize her standing as a children's author in order to see Mark's career blossom as his alter-ego Maired's music was taking more precedence lately. It was entirely his choice, as he was becoming more comfortable playing jazz, but more about that later.
The gig at Sculler's was slated to begin in an hour, and Maired, thankfully, wasn't first, so she had some time to prepare before going on. Erica was worried that the discussion would unnerve Maired to the point of distraction, making it difficult for her to perform.
"I'm only going to be me here, if you follow me; just your "sister-in-law,” she said.
"What if this actually takes off?" Mark asked, truly worried about Erica's standing and reputation. If it were revealed that Erica Kiernan's husband Mark and his "sister" Maired were one in the same, it could seriously harm her position and reputation as a children's author, since there were still plenty of people out there that considered transgender the last taboo. The interesting thing is that Erica had once again made a concerted effort to reinforce Mark, but they were discovering that Maired and Mark were "coming together," so to speak. Everything she loved about both aspects of her husband seemed to be integrating into a whole personality, although there had been nothing disjointed about Mark. It was more like a melding; Mark's charm and wit were more frequently being displayed by Maired, and the care and sensitivity, what some might consider feminine traits, were actually parts of his whole being. In fact, almost everything Erica could point to about Maired's personality was really always evident as Mark, just not in such a "softer" package, as it were.
Maired was becoming more successful as a musician in her own right, and Mark no longer felt threatened as he felt more secure in himself. It was as if Maired might be the name he used from time to time, but he remained Erica's husband, now and forever, but his Maired persona had now become as much of him as his music or any of his other qualities. So the question remained; what to do?
Erica had decided that their happiness, whatever that entailed, was worth much more than her career. She was ready and willing to give it all up and start over to see them happy. Sort of like selling her hair to buy the watch fob?
Mark had decided that Erica's writing was too important to too many people, and his "coming out" might jeopardize something that not only affected them and their daughter, but countless children and families who derived great comfort and encouragement from her writing. So tonight would be a nice night; a wonderful evening of shared secret. Certainly, nothing would diminish Erica's appreciation of Maired's unique and utterly gifted talent, but Maired's career, at least in a public sense, would end here tonight, no matter what the outcome of the competition. Maybe like selling a watch to buy fancy combs for his wife's hair?
Fortunately for them both, a decision would not be necessary, since the outcome of the evening; the choice of whether or not to continue Maired's career, had already been decided. A knock came at their door.
"Excuse me, is Maired Underhill available?" A woman in her thirties stood at the door, smiling.
"She's here, I'll just get her." Erica went back into the suite and told Maired that she had company.
"Hi, I'm Lana Mancuso, I'm sort of the talent coordinator for Sculler's. I've got something I wanted to discuss with you before you go on tonight." The woman smiled, and offered her hand to Maired. Something seemed different about Ms. Mancuso, but Maired couldn't put her finger on it.
"I know that you've recorded on your brother's album, and that you've had a limited release CD with a few songs of your own. What you don't know is that I know that you and Mark Kiernan are one in the same." She smiled, and Maired's eyes widened in fear. She patted Maired's arm and continued
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me; that's why I came here now, before this evening. I'm Bobby Cahill's cousin...he sorta accidentally on purpose slipped up in a phone call we had last week...again, honey, your secret is safe with me. But I was more worried about how it might appear if your wife was to show up at your gig. I'm sorry that the world isn't ready for a children's author married to a TG recording artist, but that's just the way it is...for now. After my operation, I wondered if I would ever get another chance myself, seeing how most people like to be safe with who their favorite singer is singing to, if you follow me?
Lana Mancuso used to be Larry Mancuso, and he was highly regarded as a fine singer, albeit too androgynous for some. When she transitioned, and especially after her surgery, she felt more secure and confident about her talent, and what had been a marginal talent blossomed into a very gifted one. She was popular, at least in the Boston area, and she wanted to see that others like her felt safe and encouraged. But what to do about this evening?
"You and your friends will be sitting just off stage, and the lights will be way, way down low for when you play, so that no one recognizes your wife. Maybe sometime in the future, we won't have to do stuff like this, but I know and like Billy Bear, and would hate to see his next title be, "Billy Bear is Sad: Erica's contract was dropped by a bunch of moronic prudes!" She laughed only a little before crying. She had some support within the "community," but like so many others, she had no support from her family, save her kid sister, who thought Lana was cool, and her cousin Bobby, who had more than just a little exposure to the transgender "experience."
Bobby knew and loved the Kiernan's, and he wanted to make sure that nothing would place their relationship in the "limelight," as the old expression goes, so he had called Lana after Mark shared that he was going to be playing at Sculler's.
Before the fiddlers have fled
Before they ask us to pay the bill
And while we still
Have the chance
Let's face the music and dance
Their traveling companions for the weekend had no such qualms about the evening, nor whether or not Katie Kelly was spending too much time with the family, so to speak. Katie was visiting the Kelly household often, and Gina enjoyed every bit of her husband’s distaff side. It was something wonderful since “they” had shared a lifetime together.
A recent discovery made things a little more interesting for them as well. In going over some documents that Ben had received after his father’s death, Gina’s Uncle Tony discovered that since Ben’s father left no heirs other than him, he was the beneficiary of a life insurance policy that his father had taken out shortly before his death. The seed money he had received from his dad was really only the first installment of what his father had tried to do to atone for his past with his family. Along with the legal documents, a letter was included that was to be read upon his dad’s death.
“Dear Ben, if you are reading this letter, it means I have passed on and am now facing the one judge whose rulings are final. I have lived a bad life, and it has taken nearly all of it to discover that. When I left you and your mother, I had no direction other than self-destruction, and my selfishness led to your neglect and your mother’s and your abuse. I am truly sorry for what I did to you, and I can only ask forgiveness. I expect nothing as I deserve no pity or mercy; only one can grant that, and I hope that my change of heart will have proved to be what he wanted all along.
It is to my eternal regret that I treated you so badly; you did nothing to deserve my hatred and abuse, and it is to my shame that you received nothing of what God entrusted to me to impart to you. And it is to my joy and pride to know that despite my neglect and horrible treatment; that you turned out to be a fine young man. I contributed nothing to your success and provided nothing but discouragement and shame, and it is to God’s credit and yours alone that you have become the man you are. I had a change of heart, so to speak, after my girlfriend left me. She was stronger than your mother, God rest her soul, and was able to leave before I destroyed her too. I cannot begin to atone for what I did to your mother, and I once again can only ask for your mercy and forgiveness. After Janet left, I went to AA, and eventually I stopped drinking.
One of the steps in the program is to seek forgiveness and try to provide restitution if possible. I have changed my will to include you, Ben, and I hope that the money can some how help you. I had an agency look into your life, and I am proud that you are providing those in need with the help they require. Hopefully, this money will help in making you financially secure enough to continue your ministry. This letter has been too long in coming, and I again ask for your forgiveness.
It was signed, “Belatedly but happily in Christ, Sean Kelly.”
Years of abuse to his own body prevented Sean Kelly’s redemption to go beyond the spiritual reconciliation and he died before he was able to connect with his son. He had no idea that Ben had forgiven his father long ago, a gift from his own merciful and loving mother, which in turn made him whole and restored.
All that to say, Ben had decided after much prayer and talk with Gina that he would begin working in his ministry full time; his father had left him over five-hundred-thousand dollars, more than enough to keep things going. His work at the middle school, as rewarding as it was, just didn’t fulfill him, and he found great joy and reward in helping others who had issues like his own.
What that also left for him and Gina was what to do with Katie? She was more and more a part of who Ben had become, and Gina loved her husband dearly, but was becoming more comfortable with having both of them around all the time. They were using this getaway with the Kiernans to decide just how much each would spend, and both of them were having fun at least in exploring the possibilities, even if they arrived at no conclusion.
The three women were “dressed to the nines,” like the old saying goes. The blonde was actually looking more at ease than ever, and she and her raven-haired companion nuzzled and kissed and held hands throughout every act, enjoying the jazz and each other’s company. The brunette looked anxious, but not for herself. She wanted her lover to succeed in showing everyone just how talented she was.
The redhead sat down at the piano. She was self-assured and relaxed, and she started playing some Gershwin, evoking some applause from the audience. After playing a few Cole Porter songs, she quickly moved into a medley of Berlin hits, culminating with “Let’s Face the Music and Dance,” fitting, as both couples were considering life-altering decisions, and were confronting fears and doubts with the confidence that only their love for each other could provide.
Maired looked directly at Erica and sang,
Soon
We'll be without the moon
Humming a diff'rent tune
And then
There may be teardrops to shed
So while there's moonlight and music
And love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Dance
Let's face the music and dance
She ended with a variation of Diana Krall’s version of “I love Being Here With You,” by Peggy Lee, evoking several minutes of applause before she left the stage to join her companions at the table. Lana Mancuso walked over to the table and leaned over and kissed Maired on the cheek and gripped her hand warmly.
“Thank you so much for coming tonight. I know you could have performed just as magnificently as Mark, but this means so much to me and some others of us out there,” she said, using her hand to gesture toward the audience. “A few of my friends dropped by, and they were blessed by your performance tonight. God bless you dear, and thank you Erica for helping arrange this for us.
As was their habit, the couples retired soon after arriving back at the hotel. Gina lay in bed, wearing virtually nothing other than the sheet from the bed. Katie had changed into a camisole and tap pant combo and was just getting into bed when Gina began to laugh.
“What’s so funny, darlin’?” Katie said softly. Gina got up, dropping the sheet to the floor. She smiled warmly at her lover and kissed her on the cheek before taking her in her arms. She began to move slowly in a box step while crooning in Katie’s ear,
“So while there’s moonlight and music and love and romance…let’s face the music and dance.”
“showed up” for the weekend, and he was more than welcome that evening.
“Billy Bear is Relieved: Maired’s Staying in the Closet for the Time Being.” Mark laughed softly, evoking a frown from Erica.
“What are we going to do, honey?” Erica looked at her husband with wonder and doubt, not for him, but for what the future would hold?
“Well, two things to keep in mind, sweetheart. First, no matter what we do, we must keep your writing first and foremost in our decisions. Maired can’t become more important than your work, and that’s okay, since I’m fine with that.”
“What’s the second thing, My Dear?”
“Life can be an awfully big closet!”
I Only Want What's Best For You
"Mommy will be home tomorrow, honey. We can go to the park, okay? I love you...here's Daddy!" Erica handed the phone off and the scene would have seemed almost ludicrous if you didn't know the people involved.
It was Mark's voice that said, "Yes, honey,' to his daughter Marie who was staying with the Esposito girls and his mother-in-law Diane.
"We'll be home tomorrow and we can go to feed the ducks and the big swan, okay? I love you. See you tomorrow, honey, bye."
It may have been Mark's voice alright, but it was Maired who stood in the hotel room, looking more like a baseball "Annie" than the father that Mark was.
She wore tight jeans and a bright green halter top under a Phillies jersey. Erica was similarly attired save for a shimmery blue tee instead. True to form, Erica had saved the best for last, Maired thought. Birthday at Fenway Park; Phillies interleague game with the Boston Red Sox. It really wasn't the Piá¨ce de résistance, as Maired assumed, so whatever Erica had planned had to be brilliant.
And the best thing for you would be me
I've been convinced
After thinking it through that the best thing for you would be me
In the adjoining suite, a small argument ensued.
"If you wear that, I'm not sitting next to you!" Gina and Katie were clad in similar outfits to Erica and Maired. Was it the tight jeans she objected to?
No, Gina actually loved the sexy look Katie had adopted for the day; very attractive if altogether rare. Was is the bright orange halter? No, again, Katie looked so fetching in the top that Gina actually considered not leaving the hotel. She finally relented and smiled.
Sitting across from her on the other bed, Katie smiled proudly, feeling confident that she had won. It wasn't the sexy jeans or top that had Gina worried. Her lover chose to wear a #2 Derek Jeter Yankee Jersey, thus guaranteeing the animosity and harassment of over thirty-thousand screaming Red Sox fans.
Apart from the odd jeer and lame remark, most of the attention directed toward the foursome was not for their choice of attire, but the absolutely lovely appearance they displayed. Fearing identification, Erica wisely pulled her Phillies cap down the entire time to obscure her face. She was concerned that if she was seen in the company of Gina and the other "girls" it might place her children's series in jeopardy, as she and Mark had discussed.
The Phillies squeaked out a 2-1 victory in ten innings, evoking profanity from only some of the fans nearest the quartet. Katie received the most abuse, being a single Yankee fan in a sea of Red Sox fanatics. She didn't really care; it was another new side of her that was showing itself.
They had almost gotten to the ground level from the exit ramp when a fairly large and hugely drunk and obnoxious guy walked up to Katie and accosted her. He actually hit her in the side of the head, knocking her hat off, and he actually tried to rip her jersey. She looked up at him, reached up slightly and punched him in the throat. She grabbed his right arm and using her newly grown fingernails, squeezed his wrist where the ulnar nerve met the wrist, sending him to the ground screaming. She leaned over and said softly in her most delicate brogue,
"And while you're down there, would you mind picking up my hat?" The man quickly obliged and stood up and walked off red-faced and embarrassed. Another idiot leered at Katie and said,
"Almost makes you want to be a Yankee fan," which produced a shower of invectives and stale beer from the ramp above.
Everyday to myself I'd say point the way
What would it be?
Arriving back at the hotel, Maired kissed Erica and thanked her for the day. The two nuzzled romantically until Erica steered Maired toward the bathroom.
"Let's get ready for dinner. You take a nice shower and I'll get an outfit ready for you," Erica said as she shoved Maired into the bathroom and closed the door.
Maired finished her shower and was toweling off when she opened the door. She took in the most breathtaking sight she had ever seen. Standing in the middle of the room, Erica was clad in a Midnight Blue strapless cocktail dress. Her hair was up and she looked absolutely gorgeous, as if she were going to a party, which she was.
Erica pointed to the bed, where a nearly identical dress was laid out, dark green and shimmery, which of course would set off Maired's lovely red hair
"Haven't got much time, My Dear, get dressed and meet me next door." She kissed Maired amorously before exiting the suite.
A few minutes later, Maired stood in the hallway. She was wearing her hair up, displaying new emerald tear drop earrings and a thin gold chain surrounded her throat, adorned by a matching emerald pendant. Perhaps it was because it was her birthday, but she looked lovelier than she had ever in her entire "brief" life; Erica would have said it was because Maired got lovelier every day.
She knocked on the door, which opened to reveal her gorgeous bride as well as two stunningly beautiful women. Gina wore a fuchsia halter cocktail dress and her raven hair was adorned with matching ribbons. The big surprise was Katie; she wore a simple black sleeveless satin number with a full skirt. Her blonde hair was swept up to reveal Onyx earrings and her throat was surrounded by a black ribbon bedecked with an Onyx cameo.
"Everyone looks wonderful, but we don't have time to stand and admire...let's get going." Erica said. She only told them that it was a private party they were going to, but refusing any other details. She smiled and winked at Gina with a conspiratorial grin. They went down to the lobby where they were greeted by the chauffeur who had parked the limo in front of the hotel
I only want what's the best thing for you
And the best thing for you would be me
After about a half-hour, the limo pulled up to Scullers where Maired had performed the night before. A sign stood in front of the entrance.
Erica smiled as she watched Maired's eyes widen in recognition and excitement.
This would have made it the best birthday present ever, but it couldn't get better, could it? Erica handed the woman at the door four tickets and the quartet walked into the club, where only the night before they had already enjoyed a wonderful evening. Looking around, they noticed that most of the patrons were dressed in similar attire, a wonderful charity event attended by benefactors from the Boston area. Gina actually saw Ben and Jennifer along with Matt and his wife sitting next to the mayor. All of the women were bedazzled by the celebrity and beauty of the night.
A tall attractive blonde stepped toward them, accompanied by a nice looking man with black-framed glasses.
She spoke with a slight Canadian accent and said to Maired,
"I'm so glad you could come, My Dear. I've heard a lot about you, and I'm glad you'll be sitting in." Diana Krall was more charming than even her videos and CD's portrayed her. She and her husband smiled again before moving over to greet other people."
"Sitting in?" Maired mouthed. She looked at Erica, who had tears in her eyes. She nodded and mouthed, "I love you...Happy Birthday."
Minutes later the women were seated at a table just to the right of the stage. After about a half-hour of pleasantries and introductions and acknowledgements for the great work of the Dana-Farber Institute, the show started. Maired noticed that there were two baby-grand pianos on stage. Chick Corea sat across from Diana, who started the set with "From this Moment On." She quickly followed it with "Day in Day Out,' going back and forth between her and Chick and the rest of the ensemble. The first set lasted almost forty minutes before intermission. During the break, various works of art and music were auctioned off, along with two signed copies of "Billy Bear goes to a Concert," Erica's newest edition in the series, not even out in stores.
After talking a few moments with the band, Diana stepped toward the girl's table. The spotlight did not follow her down and remained on her piano while she was off stage; Ms. Krall had already talked with someone about Erica's need, at least at present, for anonymity. She stepped over and grabbed Maired's hand and lifted her gently out of her seat and led her to the stage.
"I'd like to introduce a new friend of mine, who'll be sitting in on the next set. Please give a warm welcome to Miss Maired Underhill” Polite applause followed by an awkward smile by Maired before she sat nervously sat down at the piano. Diana leaned over and whispered,
"I'll nod - you take it for a while and then hand it off to Tony (Wilson - guitar) or John (Clayton - bass). You'll be fine." She said as she kissed her on the cheek.
She walked over, sat down, and immediately broke into "Fly Me to the Moon" which she sang and played for about three minutes until she nodded to Maired. Nervous as she was, she didn't miss a beat and broke into her own imrov, which lasted only about a minute-forty before handing it off to Tony, although her part felt like it lasted an eternity. Things went great as they moved back and forth between the two pianos and the rest of the combo, playing some Gershwin before finishing the set with, "Just the Way You Are." They were greeted by even more applause as Ms. Krall walked over to Maired, pulled her up from the piano and gave her a hug. Standing next to her, she said once again,
"Maired Underhill," which was followed more applause and the lights dimming as the set ended. Diana gave her another hug and said softly, "Thank you, you were great." Talk to me after the last set."
After thinking it through that the best thing for you would be me
Everyday to myself I'd say point the way
What would it be?
The concert finished up with Diana and Elvis playing songs off her and his latest recordings. After the show ended Diana walked up to Maired and hugged and kissed her once again.
"Your friend here wrote to me about your situation, and I thought, I want to do something, but how much better in person." She looked right at Gina, who blushed and turned her head away. Diana explained that Gina had written to her after finding out about the concert a few months ago.
"She told me about you two; how you've both beaten cancer. She told me about your sister and how...well how you were "born," and I was so touched by your dedication. And your mother’s story as well; I thought who better to enjoy an evening like this. Gina sent me a copy of your own CD, and after hearing you play I figured, why not? Anyway, I'm awfully glad to meet all of you." With that, she smiled at Katie, who was feeling a little uncomfortable until Diana said, "Don't worry, Dr. Kelly, your secret is safe with me." She smiled once again and gripped Erica's hand and kissed her on the cheek. "God bless you, sweetheart and thanks for the Billy Bear set; my twins adore him." She stepped closer and spoke to Maired once again.
"I’m into the studio for my next album next month. How about sitting in?" She smiled at Gina with the same conspiratorial grin usually reserved between Erica and Gina and leaned over and whispered in Maired's ear,
"You and your brother, My Dear...you're both welcome." She hugged all four women again before walking off to visit with the other guests.
Back at the hotel, Mark lay on the bed, wondering why he had been so blessed. Erica lay asleep beside him, softly cooing in her sleep. He remembered when he was young, and Mark had seen Erica for the first time, falling in love forever. It was like Gina always said; it was like they were made for each other. Mark kissed Erica lightly on the forehead before falling asleep himself, thinking about the wonder of the day.
I ask myself what's the best thing you
And myself and I seem to agree
That the best thing for you would be me
Next door, Gina was lying next to Katie, laughing softly.
"You ARE like a taller softer, Sean Dillon, she said, reminiscing about how much her gorgeous lover had brought a man nearly twice her size to tears.
Katie leaned over and took in the sight of her beautiful bride. She kissed her. She kissed her cheeks, her eyes, her ears, her mouth especially, her neck, her breasts before turning off the light and whispering softly in her lover's ear,
"As ever was, darlin', as ever was."
When I Look In Your Eyes
When I look in your eyes, I see the wisdom of the world in your eyes
I see the sadness of a thousand goodbyes
When I look in your eyes
And it is no surprise, to see the softness of the moon in your eyes
The gentle sparkle of the stars in your eyes
When I look in your eyes
"Are you sure about this?" Erica looked over at her lover.
"What better way to celebrate our anniversary?" They had been together in some manner or another for nearly nineteen years. She smiled and pulled her robe apart, revealing her small but tender breasts.
"Isn't this a bit risque?" Erica asked as she pulled off her top, revealing two perfectly formed breasts as well. She pulled Maired in for a kiss.
"Emmmm. Your lips taste different...Peach?" Maired smiled and then proceeded to nibble her wife's neck.
"Nectarine, just for you. I was going to do vanilla for a tease, but I know you don't like that at all." She giggled as Maired found that one spot behind her left ear that always tickled.
"Does Mark know? I mean he left this morning upset and all?" She teased.
"Oh, I suspect he has an idea; he really only wants you to be happy." Maired teased back.
"He makes me very happy." Erica began to kiss Maired's new budding breasts, sending a shudder down her back.
"Do I make you happy?"
"Always, my dear." She had called her 'my dear' from the start; her way of acknowledging how special their relationship was. She pulled off her panties and tossed them off the bed.
"Do I please you?" Erica said, tears forming in her eyes.
"Forever; from the moment I saw you when you and my sister sat on our porch and talked about the Kerrigan boy down the street." She smiled as she began to kiss Erica's breasts, returning the favor.
"As I recall, we teased you about him. 'Oh, wouldn't you just love to be bent back over the bed with him?' Maura even made a kissing sound. 'Ooooh, imagine him holding you...kissing you.' You got beet red and ran into the house." She giggled, partly from the memory and mostly from the ticklish spot on her left nipple.
"I had my sights set that day, but it wasn't with any boy. You know what made me love you at first sight?" Erica knew but she never grew tired of hearing the story.
"You and Maura and I were sitting on your front porch. The little girl across the street came up the walk and she was crying." Maired began to mist up at the memory.
"She held up her dolly. The left arm was broken and she held it up as she cried." She stopped kissing and lay her head on Erica's chest.
"'Missy hurt...please, can you help her?' she said and you picked her up in your arms.
'One second honey. Don't cry,' you said. 'The dolly doctor is in the house. Let me go talk to her and we'll get Missy fixed up, okay.'"
Erica began to cry, somewhat at the memory of the little girl, but somewhat also sadly at the losses the two had sustained over the years of their relationship.
"You went inside and asked me to come with you. You went upstairs and got your own doll, a keepsake your dad had given you. It was identical to Missy except for the dress." They always were thankful for this story, even if it always seemed to put a damper on their lovemaking, as it always brought the two of them to tears.
"'Didn't your dad give you that?' I asked as you swapped dolls. You looked at me and said,'I think this is what he'd do if he were here.' And you gave her the doll." Maired bit her tongue to keep composed.
"Such a gift, not only to the child, but to me as well. You grabbed my heart that day and never let go. I am so glad we're together. You bring me great joy." Maired kissed her and their tears mingled together in a harmony of joy and sadness. They had come through a lot together and their love was stronger than ever.
In your eyes, I see the deepness of the sea
I see the deepness of the love
The love I feel you feel for me
"And you as well, my dear." She began to caress Maired while returning her attention to Maired's breasts. Soon the two joined together; more a celebration than ever before as they melded together in sweet blissful love. Knowing and fully known. No crecendo, but a soft point to counterpoint; where once there was a strong cello and gentle violin there now played two violas, melody and harmony woven together in a tapestry of sound and sight and touch. In every sense the two had become one.
Later as they cuddled in bed, Erica turned toward Maired and kissed her gently on the cheek.
"Thank you for being everything you are for me. I love you so much. But now I think it's time you were everything you need to be for you." She reached into the nightstand and pulled out a small gift bag and handed it to Maired.
"I've got something planned for the day, dear, okay? Dinner with Gina and Katie, if you don't mind?"
"Not at all. In fact, Gina and Katie called to congratulate us the other day. I had a long talk with them. They helped me decide what to give you." She pointed to the bag.
Maired opened it to find two small boxes. One a ring box, the other a small jewelry box.
"Open the little one. Go ahead." Maired opened it up to find a beautiful ring, set with one large emerald surrounded by four smaller light blue stones."
"Oh gosh, it's gorgeous. But why emerald. None of our family was born in May." She smiled but squinted, trying to figure out what Erica meant by the gift.
"Not true, my dear. You were born in May.....the first day I met you....when you told me about her...about that part of you that was real and whole and alive. The day Mark first became Maired for me. The day you were born. I knew then...I never said a word…but I knew then that you'd always be a part of my heart. I fell in love all over again with the man I married, but nothing from that moment on would ever be the same."
She paused and pointed to the smaller stones on each corner.
"Aquamarine...my stone...my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength, surrounding you, treasuring you, loving you....Maired. It's time, honey, you know it is."
She kissed Maired on the forehead and handed her the second box. Opening it up she found inside a matching necklace and a card.
"I love you. I'm not saying goodbye to Mark. He'll always be in my heart, but I love you Maired and I'm looking forward to our lives together. It's time."
Autumn comes, summer dies
I see the passing of the years in your eyes
And when we part there will be no tears no goodbyes
I'll just look into your eyes
"Are you sure about this?" Maired blinked back tears as her eyes darted between her wife's face and the card.
"Does this answer your question?" She said as she pulled her in for a kiss. She began to cry softly as Maired began to shudder in a torrent of tears.
"I love you, every part of you, more than my own life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with my precious bride." Erica said as she kissed Maired over and over and over.
"I love you."
Those eyes, so wise
So warm, so real
How I love the world, your eyes reveal
When I Look In Your Eyes
words and music by
Leslie Bricusse
as performed by
Diana Krall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTOzJ2aezUE
