Stephanie’s Deal by Jennifer Brock Twelve-year-old Stephanie Brooks is an unusual girl. Until six weeks ago, she was living as a boy, but then a foolish decision to peek at her Christmas presents and a church pageant with a crisscrossed theme combined to create Stephanie’s girlhood as a punishment. But she eventually found that living as a girl fixed a lot of the things that weren’t quite right in her life before. She’s now friendlier, less withdrawn, and happier in general with things. In this episode, she learns more about her new school. As we begin, it’s the last day of January, 2008. (The author would like to apologize to her readers for taking so long to get this installment out. The wait for the next one won’t be nearly as long. The writing on it has already been started)

Episode 21

Thursday for Stephanie was a very nervous day. She did a bunch of research on the internet and ran through the textbooks she could find in the house in order to prepare for the placement tests she’d be taking on Friday. It was okay for the teachers at her old school to label her old self Steven as a loser, but Stephanie really didn’t want her new school to think she was stupid. She even surprised herself by how much she wanted to make a good impression. Getting good grades had never been important to her before; it was weird to actually want to work at it.

Stephanie hadn’t realized how long she’d been working until Mom made her stop and take a break to have some lunch. Over chicken soup and a mixed green salad, she told her daughter she was very proud of her for working so hard. “I’m glad to see you’re finally putting in the effort to fulfill your potential. Who’d have guessed that it would have taken this to encourage you to do it?”

Stephanie smiled shyly as her cheeks turned a pinker shade. “Thanks, Mom. I just don’t want them to start out thinking I’m some kind of screw-up. I mean, they’ve probably already got me down as a weirdo or something for wanting to be a girl.”

Mom leaned over and gave her a hug. “Honey, don’t ever let anyone make you think you’re a ‘weirdo.’ There is nothing wrong with being different from everyone else. You are a beautiful and unique snowflake. Besides, Hutchinson’s students have a reputation for being a little outside the norm. Didn’t you notice the students on our tour — there was a crayon box of hair colors, and I’m pretty sure I saw a boy younger than you with more baubles stuck in his face than in my entire jewelry box. (And before you ask, no you cannot pierce or tattoo anything, and your hair is staying its current color.) So for them to call you weird you’d have to be a bit more extreme than just a pretty young lady who happens to have a few differences in places no one can see. I’m also pretty sure I saw a couple of boys holding hands in the hallway, so you shouldn’t have to worry about being picked on for your willingness to explore your sexual identity. (And no, you’re not allowed to do anything sexual yet, at least not until you’re sixteen, and maybe not even after then.) I believe the founder of your school was a woman who preferred the company of other women, if you know what I mean, so acceptance was the theme from the beginning.” She stroked Stephanie’s cheek and wiped away a tear she hadn’t even realized was there. “You have nothing to worry about, Honey. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Stephanie’s face brightened. “That makes me feel better. Now I just need to do well on those tests.” She got a more serious expression. “But there is something I’d like your help with.”

“What’s that, Sweetie? I’m strongest in Math and English, but I remember a lot of History. I’m shaky in Science, so you’d best wait until your father gets home and ask him.”

She smiled and let out a little giggle. “Um, no. It’s not the school stuff. I’m just not sure what I ought to wear tomorrow, so I was wondering if you’d pick out an outfit for me like you did back when I first started. The more I read my magazines, the more confused I get about fashion. I’m okay on putting stuff together that matches, but I still don’t know what’s appropriate for when. I guess I should have tried to pay more attention to what the other girls were wearing on our tour.”

Mom tousled her hair playfully. “Sure, Sweetie. You’re right, though. Women have a lot more options and levels of formality in our wardrobes than men. But once you get the hang of it, it can be fun tweaking an ensemble just so for any occasion. I’ll make sure you look nice without seeming like you’re trying too hard. You’re in good hands.”

She thanked her again and cleared the table then went back to her studying. The afternoon blended into a haze of names and dates, facts and figures, words and numbers. By the time Dad came home from work and dinner was ready, her brain was fairly tired. Her parents saw how frazzled she was and forbid her from doing any more work after dinner. They played a fun game of Uno and then sent her upstairs early.

Mom suggested she take her bath before bed instead of in the morning; it might help her relax. She even put some of her own bath oil in the tub when she drew Stephanie’s bath, explaining that its aroma was supposed to help with stress. Strangely enough, it smelled just like the lavender oil that Stephanie had been secretly using to try to grow breasts. She laughed to herself and wondered if that meant boobs were good for relieving stress, and added a couple of her drops to the mix. She still couldn’t tell if it was working, though. There were only tiny lumps behind her pink nipples, which might have been there before she’d started. She spent extra time massaging both her herbal oils into her chest after her bath, and wished with all her might that she could look like a real girl.

The outfit her mother had selected for her the next morning was fairly casual. She put her in her red long-sleeved tee and her denim skirt, with knee socks and her sneakers. She said it would let her be comfortable for her test while still feeling feminine. Mom let Stephanie pick out her own jewelry, and she chose the charm bracelet Brian had given her, her silver star earrings, and a silver chain necklace that was mostly hidden inside her top. Her mother helped with her hair, brushing some volume into it and then holding it off her face with her red padded headband. The only makeup she wore was some lip gloss; it had gotten to the point where her lips felt really dry if she left them naked.

Dad had arranged his schedule so they all could eat breakfast together. Stephanie’s stomach was nervous, but she forced down a couple pieces of toast and some melon chunks, and drank most of her glass of apple juice. As they left, Daddy gave each of “his lovely ladies” a kiss, Mom on the lips and Stephanie on the forehead, and wished her luck.

They drove to the school and Mom gave their name to the receptionist in the office, and they only had to wait a little while before Ms. Lancaster came out and gave them a warm greeting. She called over Ms. Chu, a tiny Asian woman with beautiful green eyes that matched her dress. She would be Stephanie’s guidance counselor, and would be serving as proctor for her placement tests. She shook her hand and said she could call her Amy. She said she was one of the few people on staff who knew about Stephanie’s situation, and she should feel free to come see her any time she needed someone to talk to, about anything, even if it was something as simple as forgetting to bring a pen.

Her friendly personality really put Stephanie at ease. She was able to relax her nerves a little. Amy gave Mom her business card, and took down her phone number, and got the number of Stephanie’s cell too, for her records. She took the opportunity to ask Stephanie to turn off her ringer when she was in school. The school didn’t prohibit phones on campus like some public schools, but she was expected to use courtesy around her teachers and fellow students and not use her phone in a disruptive manner. That seemed fair.

Amy said that Stephanie’s tests would be broken into four fifty-minute blocks with ten-minute breaks in between. Mom had her choice of waiting around the school for four hours, or she could go away and come back when the tests were through. After making sure Stephanie was okay with it, she opted to go run some errands.

Amy brought Stephanie to a small room. The walls were a soft blue color, and there was a deep blue carpet on the floor. Natural light came through a wall of glass blocks, but it wasn’t clear enough that you could see outside. In the middle of the room was a table with some chairs around it. She gestured for Stephanie to take a seat, and let her take her jacket off and hang it over her chair. Then Amy pulled this flat rectangular thing out of her bag and set it on the table in front of Stephanie, then she pushed a button and Stephanie saw that it was like a computer screen without a computer attached to it.

Amy saw that she was confused and explained that she’d be taking her test on this tablet computer. She showed that you could just touch stuff on the screen to make it work, or there was this little pen thing for writing and stuff. Amy had her print “Stephanie Brooks” in the little box, and she smiled inside to realize that it was officially her name.
Amy then showed her how each question would appear on the screen, and it usually would have her pick a multiple choice button or write a short answer in a box before going on to the next question. She could skip any questions she didn’t understand and would be able to go back and review her answers if there was time left. It seemed to make sense. Amy hit a button, and a little clock appeared in the corner showing her how much time was left, and how many questions.

Amy then went and sat on the other side of the table, but not directly opposite Stephanie. She pulled a paperback out of her bag and started reading so as not to make her feel to self-conscious.

The questions weren’t too hard. It started with math stuff, and it wasn’t even making her do problems. There was just a list of terms, and she had to check a box if she’d heard of them. Then there was a section where she had to do some equations with the pen in a space provided, so they’d be able to see all her work. These were a little trickier, but nothing she couldn’t handle, at least at first. But toward the end it started talking about sins and cousins and stuff she’d never seen before.

She made a little frustrated grunt, and Amy looked over at her. “Don’t worry if you get stuck on an answer. These tests are just to see which classes to place you in, and it goes up to past your previous grade level, just to see if you’d been in any accelerated programs. It’s just as useful to us to find out what you don’t know as what you do, so don’t get too upset if you don’t understand something.”

Stephanie sniffled. “Okay.” She skipped that weird stuff and flipped forward to see if there was anything in there she liked. It had a section about shapes that looked interesting, but then it turned out to be all about figuring out if triangles matched. She didn’t like know the way to tell, but she used her intuition to figure it out.

There was time left at the end, so she flipped back through her answers and double checked them, and then there was still some more time, so she used the workspace for one of the questions she didn’t have a clue about, and used the pen thing to draw a doodle of a smiling stick figure of herself, with curly hair and a little triangle skirt and everything, and she added a cartoon balloon saying, “I don’t know this stuff,” just to make it clear. She was about to add some finishing touches when the computer made a little chirpy noise that meant her time was up.

Amy took the computer and stuck a memory stick in it, and the screen turned blue and it said “Data submitted.” Then she said Stephanie could take a break, and showed her where the restroom was, and pointed out some vending machines in the hall if she wanted a snack or a drink.

She cautiously chose to go to the bathroom. It was weird that there was only one for both boys and girls. Inside it looked more like a large bathroom from someone’s house than public restrooms she’d been in before. One wall had a row of sinks, each one taller than the one before it, with a mirror above each one, and fancy electric hand dryers in between. The outside wall had more of those glass blocks, so it was bright but no one would be peeking in.

The wall opposite the sinks had a row of doors, real doors not the stall doors you usually see. Stephanie opened one and found a toilet. Like the sinks, they were at increasing heights as you went along, so she ended up using the third one. The little cubicle had a little shelf behind the toilet where she could set her purse. A light came on when she went in, and there was also some natural light coming in through a frosted glass window above the door. It was completely different from the one in her old school.

She finished up and went to wash her hands. The soap dispenser, the faucet, and the hand dryer were all the kind you didn’t need to touch and came on when your hand was in the right place. She gave her lips a fresh coat of gloss and realized that there was writing on the frame of the mirror. It said, “You are someone.” She wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean; after all everybody was somebody, but it made her feel kind of nice.

The next test was about science. A bunch of the questions were similar to some of the math ones, and just asked her if she’d ever heard of certain terms. To keep her honest, she had to write a couple of words on each one she thought she’d seen before. It meant she couldn’t guess, so that was bad, and it left her feeling kind of stupid that she didn’t know too many of them.

But then the test got kind of fun, and had a part where it would like tell a little story and she had to answer some questions about it. Like one said that a chimpanzee got chased by a tiger and he had to climb a coconut tree and hang from a branch by its tail so it could use all four of its hands and feet to throw coconuts at the tiger, and she had to say what was wrong with that story. It was more like a cool kind of riddle than a test question. Stephanie liked these little puzzles, and she was kind of sad when she got to the last one.

She was in the mood for a snack, and checked out the vending machines during her second break. They weren’t like the ones at her old school. Instead of sodas, the drink machine had milk, water, and a couple of different fruit juices from weird fruits as well as familiar apple and grape. They all came in glass bottles, and there was a rack next to the machine for collecting the empties. It was a real surprise when this little little boy, who must have been like three or four went up to the machine and selected a bottle of milk. That a little kid would be trusted not to break the bottle seemed so weird! Stephanie bought a bottle of pink strawberry/pomegranate juice that was not as sweet as she’d expected, but good.

The snack machine was even more bizarre. It didn’t have candy or chips or the stuff you’d usually get in a machine. Instead there were fresh fruits on these rotating rack things, and even some vegetables, too. She got a pear that was so juicy she probably could have skipped the drink. There was snow on the ground and she was eating a pear that tasted like it had just been picked. This school was different, but some of the differences were pretty good.

The next test was on history and stuff. This time they asked the questions differently. In the first section, each page listed a bunch of events and she had to put them in order. Some of the U.S. history stuff she was pretty sure of, but there was some foreign country stuff she just plain didn’t know. One weird page was like something from church where it wanted her to put the writings of Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, Buddha, and a bunch of guys she’d never heard of in order from first published to last. She thought it was a trick question, because one of the guys was named “Joseph Smith” and that seemed like such a fake name. She called the teacher (or whoever made the test)’s bluff and wrote on that page, “There’s probably a million guys named Joe Smith. How am I supposed to know who you mean?”

The second section wanted more writing. It said stuff like, “If you had a magic time machine and could arrange a meeting between a Babylonian and a Toltec, what do you think they’d have in common to talk about? What would change if it was two farmers versus two soldiers?” On a lot of those, Stephanie just didn’t understand the questions. She left some of them blank, and on others just answered truthfully with an answer like, “They’d probably agree that it was pretty freaky being transported by some stranger with a magic time machine, and wonder why I used my amazing powers to bring them together. The two soldiers might be more likely to try to force me to send them back with threats.”

That test really made her feel dumb, and when she took her bathroom break afterwards, she let herself have a little cry in the bathroom. But Amy was too sharp and noticed that her eyes were a little red, and asked her what was the matter. Stephanie said she was afraid the school would decide they didn’t want her after they saw how horrible she did on these tests, and she’d have to go back to her old school, and her old life and her old clothes and...

Amy gave her a comforting hug and said that Stephanie didn’t need to worry; the school wasn’t going to send her away. It wasn’t a bad thing if she didn’t know all the answers on the tests; in fact they needed to ask questions she couldn’t answer to in order to figure out what they could teach her. She said that Dr. Nolan, the head of the Math Department, had already reviewed the first test Stephanie had taken, and he said she had a solid conceptual grounding and should be able to handle the sixth grade curriculum. He also said that she had a delightful creative attitude, and recommended that she take a computer programming lab to help her understanding of algebra. Amy explained that when her mother came back after all the tests, they’d work out her schedule.

She also said that Ms. Lucas was very excited about Stephanie’s artistic talent, so she should stop worrying about being sent away. There was nothing she could do on these performance exams that could be called failing the test. Stephanie had already been accepted and was now a member of the Hutchinson School family; the only way she’d be leaving would be if it was her decision. Amy even said that even if her parents changed their minds and wanted to send her some place else, if Stephanie felt she belonged at Hutchinson, they’d fight to keep her there. That was cool, but kind of scary at the same time.

When Stephanie had calmed down enough, Amy was ready for her to start the last test. This time the subject was English, and some of the questions would need longer written answers. Amy gave her the option of continuing writing longhand with the pen thing on the tablet, or she could give her a keyboard to type her answers. Stephanie chose the keyboard. Amy pulled a keyboard out of her back and flipped a switch to turn it on — it didn’t have a cord or anything; the computer just knew it was there. She also showed Stephanie how to pull a support out of the back of the tablet to stand it up like a regular monitor screen. She told Stephanie that even though she was allowed to type, she should avoid using texting abbreviations, and there wouldn’t be any automatic spelling checker running. Those rules seemed fine; Stephanie didn’t even know all those texting codes, and it seemed like every day Debbie was using a new one that she needed to work at to figure out.

This time the questions were a little weird. Instead of asking what things she’d heard of like in the other sections, it just had stuff like, “Write at least four paragraphs describing a meeting between two of the following characters: Huckleberry Finn, Dorothy Gale, Harry Potter, Anne Shirley, Johnny Tremain, or Oliver Twist.” It seemed like the teacher who wrote the question just assumed Stephanie would know who all those people were. Back when she was Steven, she’d read all the Harry Potter books, and seen most of the movies, but had no idea who the rest of those people were.

She decided to just write a funny little story where Harry cast a spell in the library and a bunch of storybook people came to life. (Stephanie assumed the rest of those characters were from other books, since this was an English test.) He then tried to strike up a conversation with this Huckleberry person, but no matter how much Harry told him about himself, all he’d get from the stranger was, “I was named after a fruit.” Stephanie was still a little giggly when she went on to the next question, which wanted her to write a description of the future from the point of view of the past.

The topic of the last essay was, “Tell us why you chose to attend The Hutchinson School, and describe what you hope to get out of your education here.” That made her nervous. She looked over at Amy and said, “Can I ask a question about this test?”

Amy shook her head, “Just answer the questions to the best of your abilities. There are no right or wrong answers.”

Stephanie’s forehead wrinkled. “I just want to know if the people who are going to see my answers already know about the boy/girl thing, because it wants to know why I want to come here, and part of my reason is that you’ll let me be a girl. But I don’t want to say that if they won’t know I’m not a real girl.”

Amy reached over and touched her hand. “You are real. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” She smiled. “But you’re right. Someone other than the few of us who are aware of your situation will be reviewing your test, someone from the English department, probably Dr. Shields the department head. So if you don’t want to reveal your secret, you might want to leave that reason out of your essay, or just try be a little vague about it, like say that at Hutchinson we’ll let you be yourself, or something like that. Okay?”

Stephanie smiled back at her and went to work on her essay. She wrote about how she was pointed to Hutchinson by Ms. Lucas, who’s seen some of her artwork and thought she would be a good fit for their art program. And she wrote about how she was looking to change her old study habits, and was looking forward to getting a fresh start. It was almost like she had the opportunity to become a whole new person, someone she’d be proud to be.

She finished her essay with a little time to spare. The whole thing left her feeling worn out and tired. She let out a heavy sigh and rested her head down on the table. Amy walked over, gave her a little pat on the back, and then took the computer. She stuck her little memory stick in it, and submitted Stephanie’s essays. Amy told Stephanie she could rest as long as she needed, or take another restroom break, and left her alone in the room.

Stephanie stayed on the table for a bit, then stood up, stretched, then grabbed her purse and went out to the fancy bathroom again. This time when she walked in there was a boy at the sink washing his hands. She nearly panicked about going into the wrong room, and had to fight to calm down so he didn’t think she was some kind of spaz. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, and then picked out a stall. It would take a while for her to get used to these shared bathrooms.

Eventually Mom showed up. Amy said that there was some time before they could do her schedule; her test answers hadn’t all been checked out yet. She offered to take them to lunch in the cafeteria. Stephanie hadn’t even realized it was lunchtime already, but the idea of food started her stomach gurgling.

Just like everything else, the cafeteria was totally different from the one in her old school. It was a big room with really high ceilings that had skylights on top. The tables were real wood and looked like furniture people would have in their actual houses, and they were surrounded by real chairs instead of the big industrial metal tables with attached benches she’d had in the public school.

For the most part, kids were sitting with others their own age, but every so often she’d see older and younger kids eating together; she wondered if they were related or something. Her old school had a separate lunch room for the staff, but here the teachers were mixed in with the kids, sometimes sitting with a group of students or sometimes just one on one.

Amy led them to the line in the back of the room for the hot lunch. She ran her id card through a slot in a machine at the front of the line and pulled a metal tray, then did it twice more and handed one to each of them. They could smell the food cooking in the kitchen, and Mom commented that it looked very healthy. Amy pointed out that everything was prepared with fresh ingredients, and there were special selections for vegetarians or students with allergies. The nice lady behind the counter served them a delicious-smelling stir-fried chicken with vegetables over brown rice. The same beverages in the glass bottles from the vending machine were available; Stephanie wanted some more of that juice, but Mom told her to get milk instead.

There was also a well-stocked salad bar, with a nice variety of fresh fruits for dessert. They took their trays and went to an empty table. Amy waved to a few people as they walked through the room, both students and staff. Ms. Lucas noticed Stephanie and waved at her, too. All in all, it felt like a very friendly place. It also wasn’t as loud as she’d have expected such a big room to be. People were talking, but no one was shouting. It almost didn’t seem real.

After lunch, Amy showed them how they separated all the lunch trash. Food waste went in one garbage can that would get added to the school’s compost bin. The glass bottles got collected for reuse, and there was another bin for recyclable bottles and cans brought in from outside. The trays with dirty dishes went in a slot that led to the dish washers. And the smallest trashcan was for non-recyclable, non-organic waste. Amy was proud to point out that it was empty.

They went back to Amy’s office, and she checked her email. The teachers had all looked over Stephanie’s test answers and made their recommendations. The good news was that the English teacher said she was better than average at composition, but the bad news was that he felt she needed more exposure to literature. Also, the history teacher declared her to be “naíve and ill-informed.” She did okay on science, scoring around where they expected a student at her grade level to land.

Based on all those recommendations, they worked together to build Stephanie’s class schedule. The really really good news was that Ms. Lucas had suggested several different art classes for Stephanie, and Amy seemed to think that she should take them all. It was totally different from her old school, where there was just one hour of art every other week. She’d now be getting six hours a week in the drawing and painting studio, two hours of ceramics, two hours of “mixed media,” (whatever that was) and an hour and a half of doing computer art in the digital media lab.

Another weird thing was that even though they didn’t have any competitive sports teams, the school thought that physical education was important, so Stephanie had to have an hour of some kind of movement class every day. Amy showed them a list of possibilities. Mom pointed out that one of the options was a yoga class, and she thought it might be fun, plus it would be incentive to make her get back into going to her own yoga class regularly. Stephanie thought it might be nice to have something in common with her mother, so she said to sign her up for that. The beginner class was only two days a week, so she had to pick something else.

She’d been enjoying her ballroom dance class, and there were a few other kinds of dancing on the list. Mom vetoed ballet, because she said it ruined your feet and gave you an eating disorder. Amy tried to say that their classes weren’t that intense, but she stayed firm. She also vetoed tap dancing, on the theory that she didn’t want a headache from listening to her practicing at home. It was so frustrating! She finally accepted letting Stephanie take up folk dancing. That sounded kind of corny, but Amy said they did some cool dances from all over the world. Maybe it would be okay.

Stephanie saw a Tai Chi class on the list, and thought that might be cool, since it was like karate and stuff. Mom agreed way too quickly, and had a strange smile on her face, but she didn’t share what seemed so funny. Amy just shrugged and signed her up.

Stephanie needed one more physical activity. Amy asked her if she’d like an hour of unstructured playground recess. That seemed like it was just something for little kids, but Amy assured her that there were students older than Stephanie who sometimes chose that option. It’s good to get out in the fresh air every once in a while.

The other interesting rule was that all students had to take some sort of music class. Stephanie was leery of doing any singing; she was afraid that her voice might start changing like boy voices do. Amy tried to tell her that she was too young for that, but Stephanie was almost crying over it, so she let it go and asked what instrument she’d want to play. She looked over the list of possible instruments and asked her mother if practicing a flute would cause her headaches. Mom smiled and said that was a good choice.

The rest of her schedule was normal-ish stuff. She had an hour of social studies every day, to teach her the history stuff she needed so badly. She had a couple hours of science class, and three hours of math class a week, plus a two-hour computer programming lab that was supposed to relate to her math; it could be cool or it could be lame. Maybe she’d be making fun games or things, or maybe it would be stupid stuff like her mother’s accounting spreadsheets.

Her English classes actually sounded kind of interesting. She had a class every day, but they weren’t all the same. She got a creative writing class two days a week, where instead of just learning grammar and spelling and vocabulary, she’d actually be making stories. One day a week was specific literature study, where she’d be in a class that would all read the same books and discuss it. The other two days she had an hour of free time in the library, where all she had to do is read; that was it. It was crazy, but if that was how this school thought she’d learn, she was all for it!

Amy printed Stephanie’s schedule out, and gave her a map of the campus. Then she handed her colored highlighter pens and had her color-code her schedule, then find where each of her classrooms was located, and place a colored dot on the map. Amy then gave her a folder to put the schedule and the map into, and gave her a couple more papers. One was a list of school supplies suggested for all new students and the other was a list of rules that all students were expected to follow. She gave them to Mom to look over.

Amy then took Stephanie into another room and had her sit on a stool in front of a fancy blue curtain while a camera took her picture. A couple minutes later, she handed her a warm plastic card with a magnetic stripe on the back and her picture on the front, declaring her to be Stephanie T. Brooks, Hutchinson student. She was official! There was a hole in her ID where her choice of three different ways to wear it could be snapped in: a chain for wearing it around her neck, a strap for looping it around a belt, or a clip for fastening it to her clothes. Amy said that most girls Stephanie’s age went with the clip, although the chain was more convenient. It was something to think about.

Amy finally escorted them to the exit. Stephanie gave her a hug, thanked her for everything she’d done for her, and said she see her on Monday. She was in such a good mood she practically skipped out to the car. Mom was smiling too. She was glad to see her child feeling so positive about school, regardless of the twisted route it took to get there.

They had a little free time before Stephanie’s appointment with Dr. Howard, so Mom swung by a store first to pick up the school supplies on her list. Stephanie had to plead to convince her mother that she needed a new book bag; Mom thought she could just use the Barbie backpack she’d used at New Year’s, but she insisted that it was made for a much younger girl. They had to get one of the other ladies shopping to break the tie, and she agreed with Stephanie — yay! Mom did have to pick the color though, so of course she ended up with a pink backpack. But it was a pale pink not that in-your-face Barbie pink, so maybe it would be okay.

Her appointment with Dr. Howard went very well. Stephanie talked nonstop about how excited she was to be going to Hutchinson, and being a girl, and having all those art classes, and she promised she’d work hard on her other classes and try not to let everyone down for giving her this opportunity. She thanked her therapist several times for helping her find the school where she was sure she belonged.

Dr. Howard made some notes and told Stephanie she seemed to be handling things very well, and they could cut back to having appointments only once a week, on Tuesdays later in the day so she’d already be out of school. Mom checked her appointment book and said that would be acceptable.

Stephanie really felt like her life finally made sense, and hoped it was a feeling that would last.