----------=BigCloset Retro Classic!=----------

by Kristine Roland

about the Mirror on the Door!

---

Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf on Saturday, August 22, 2008 - 10:34 pm, this retro classic was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers. ~Sephrena
 
Author's Note: This is a revised version of the story I submitted last year for the All Soul's 2008 contest. At that time, both here and on Fictionmania, a number of people felt that the story needed to be fleshed out some more. I had originally conceived of the story as a campfire ghost story, and the original version of the story represented that concept. I hope you will enjoy this revised and expanded version.

Thank you to Jennifer Brock and Scott Ramsey for your always helpful advice. ~Kristy

---

 

The Mirror on the Door

Jeffrey put the last of his boxes down in his new room. He looked around. His bed, nightstand, dresser and desk had already been setup by the movers. The room was freshly painted with a bright blue on the walls, with a white ceiling. His mother had already made his bed. The comforter and pillowcases had the NY Mets baseball team logo, and the curtains in the room matched.

There was a walk in closet, and on the outside of the door to the closet was a full length mirror. His mother had decided to leave it, although she was making certain that the rest of the room was as masculine as possible.

Jeffrey's mother and father's divorce had been finalized just over a year ago. That had been rough on both his mother and himself. That had been nothing though on the day, about six months ago, when he had been rather publicly caught dressed as a girl. There had been no school that day. His mother was supposed to work, so he had been home by himself.

He had taken the rare opportunity to indulge himself in dressing up. He had been down in the family room when he heard his mother open the front door. Worse he heard her talking to her friend Emily, and he could hear Tim was with them.

She was saying, "Thanks for picking me up, Emily. I think my car is totaled. Just what I need right now. Come on in, let me get you guys something to drink. Jeff, I'm home."

Jeffrey knew he was caught; he had no chance of getting from the family room to the bathroom or his room without being seen. Sure enough, his mother came into the family room a moment later. The scene that followed that was not one he wanted to remember.

Tim of course told everyone at school, and it was pretty bad for a while. Than his Mom's grandmother had passed away, and his Mom had been left this house. His mother decided that a fresh start would do them both some good, and had decided to move here.

"Oh good, that was the last of the boxes. Get a start on unpacking your things Jeff. I'll go make us some lunch," said his mother.

"Ok, Mom," he said as he opened up the first box, and started putting his things away.

He came upon some clothes that he needed to hang in his closet. As he looked into the mirror, he was shocked to see that the room that it showed in the reflection was pink and the bed had a ruffled bed spread. The thing that shocked him even more was that it reflected a young girl, about his age in a pretty dress. Jeffrey shook his head and wiped his eyes, and looked again, and this time all he saw was his own room and himself.

"What the heck was that all about?" he thought to himself.

His mother called up to him and told him to come and eat.

---

After lunch, Jeffrey went back to his room. He went to the closet and examined the door and the mirror. While it was obviously old, the frame was intricately carved from a light colored wood. Until he looked close he had not noticed the themes of the carvings. He now saw that around the frame were small, but highly detailed characters from old nursery rhymes and stories. Now that he was examining the mirror closely he readily identified Jack and Jill, Hansel and Gretel, Alice and the white rabbit, amongst the many characters. It was clear that the frame itself was worth a fortune. He thought to himself, "that was probably the only reason his mother had left it."

As he looked closer, he noticed something very interesting. In the center at the top and bottom, and also the left and right sides of the frame was a symbol. The symbol was the infinity sign, but the two circles making up the loops were themselves the yin and yang symbols. The frame, though varnished, was not painted, so the dark areas were represented with fine carved hash marks.

The next thing he noticed was that everything to the left of the center point of this strange symbol at the top and bottom was mirrored to the right and everything above the center point of the symbols on the left and right were mirrored below. He also noticed that each of the characters appeared to be reaching toward the center of the mirror.

He touched the frame and tried to see how it was attached to the door. He did not see any obvious fasteners, or any way to remove the frame. "Well maybe that is why she did not get rid of it. It's quite valuable and she would have ruined it if she tried to get rid of it." Other then the unusual frame though, he did not see anything strange about the mirror. The door behind it appeared to be solid oak.

Eventually he just shrugged and went back to unpacking.

---

Jeffrey was apprehensive as he started school. In the car on the way to his new school, he thought about what had happened after Tim had told everyone at his old school about his dressing like a girl.

When Jeffrey got to school that next day, Tim had already spread the word, and kids were pointing at him, taunting him and laughing. He had been teased mercilessly by most of his class. Only one person, a girl named Claire was willing to be friends after that. He was sitting alone in the lunch room, since no one would sit with him, when Claire came over and asked if she could join him. He was surprised and frankly a little suspicious but cautiously said, "Sure."

They chatted about many things and Claire never mentioned the rumors floating around. He was still teased by everyone else, but Claire never said anything, except to tell people to leave him alone when they teased him in front of her.

Several weeks later, they were walking home from school together. Jeffrey asked her, "Why have you never said anything about… about…"

Claire said, "About your liking to dress like a girl?"

Jeffrey said, "Yeah. Everyone else teases me about it, but you have never said anything about it, not even to ask if it is true."

Claire said, "Because I figured you would let me know when you wanted to talk about it. I couldn't stand watching you be treated the way you were, and so I decided you needed a friend. I'm glad I did. If you do decide you want to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Jeffrey said, "Even if it's true, that I like to dress like a girl, that I wish I was a girl?"

"Sure, that doesn't bother me at all. I admit I'm curious as to why you want to be a girl?"

Jeffrey replied annoyed, "Meaning, why would you, a boy want to lower yourself to be a girl."

"That's not what I mean at all. I know why I like being a girl, and it isn't just because I was born a girl, so I can imagine there are reasons why you want to be a girl, but I'm curious as to what they are. What is it you dislike about being a boy?"

"I have always felt this way, as long as I can remember. I just feel like there is something wrong, like this me is not what I was supposed to be. It just feels off. It's not that I hate being a boy, I don't really. But if I had the chance to be a girl, I would jump at it. When I dress in girls clothes, I relax and feel like that part of me that is buried all the time is free."

"How did Tim find out?"

"We were off from school that day; Mom was supposed to go to work, and she got into an accident. Tim's Mom is a good friend of my Mom, so she picked her up and brought her home. I had not expected anyone home and was wearing some of my mother's clothes, when they came in."

"Your Mom didn't know?"

"No, and she went ballistic. She won't discuss it at all. She put a lock on her door, and I haven't been able to since. Claire, it's driving me crazy."

"What?"

"I want to talk to my mother about it, but she won't. And not being able to let … out for a while is just…"

"hmmm… Let me think about that, maybe I can help you somehow."

A few days later, Claire told him at lunch to meet her to walk home after school. After they left school grounds and were away from the other kids, she reached into her backpack and brought out a small bag. She said, "This is for you. It's not much, but I think they will fit."

"What is it?"

"Just a present for my friend." She gave him a small kiss on the cheek and ran to her house.

When he had got home, he went straight to his room and opened the bag. In it he found a pair of panties, a bra, nylons, a skirt and a top. He found a note, "These are some things I don't wear anymore, I think that you will be able to fit in them, though they may be a bit tight. The skirt has an elastic waist though, and the top was big on me. Claire."

His mother was due home shortly, but he could not help himself, he had to try them on. They were a little tight, but not so tight that he couldn't get into them. He felt the stress that had been building up, melt away. Knowing that if he was not careful, his mother would catch him, he reluctantly got undressed and back into his regular clothes. He looked around for a safe place to hide his things. In his closet he found the box that held his train set. He took out the trains, and the track, put the bag at the bottom of the box, and then everything else back on top.

The next day he and Claire found a place they could talk quietly without being overheard. She asked if the things she had given him had fit. He blushed as he thanked her and said, "They are a little tight, but I can wear them."

Claire smiled and said, "Good. I hope they help."

"Yes, I'm feeling much better today. I just have to be really careful and not let my mother find them, or catch me in them."

"Someday, we will have to get together. I would like to meet my new girlfriend."

Jeffrey had been very careful, and managed to avoid getting caught again by his mother for a couple of months, then one day he came home from school and his mother was in the kitchen fuming. She had his clothes on the table, "Where did you get these!"

"I found them."

"You mean you stole them!"

"No, they were being thrown out."

"So now you’re going through people's garbage! Go to your room. I told you this is going to stop. Its sick Jeffrey, you are a boy, boys do not wear bras."

On the way home the next day, Jeffrey told Claire that his mother had found her things. She had been cleaning up and thinking about having a garage sale and had looked in the box with his train set. Claire gave Jeffrey a hug and said, "I'm so sorry, Jeff. Don't worry, we will figure out some way to help you out."

It was only a few weeks later when Jeffrey found out that they would be moving to his Grandmother's old house. Claire was sad to see her friend go, but she said, "It might be a good thing to get away from here. At least you won't be teased about it, since no one there will know. I'm sorry that I won't be there to help you with your other needs."

They had promised to keep in touch.

Jeffrey was shaken back to the present when his mother pulled her car into the parking lot of his new school. They walked inside and his mother filled out the paperwork, and supplied his transcripts. Soon he was in his first class, and his jitters subsided as no one teased him. He joined several of the boys for lunch and seemed to be accepted right in.

---

The days went by, and Jeffrey was sure that he had just imagined what he saw in the mirror that first day. He settled into the new town, met some new kids, and was enjoying school. He knew that he still missed dressing up, but his mother gave him no opportunity to do so again. He had tried to talk to her about it, but she just told him it was not open to discussion.

He figured that it was just his mind playing tricks on him because he had been thinking about when he had gotten caught.

A few weeks later, he had been asleep, when he woke up, having thought he heard a noise in his closet. The moon was quite bright that evening, so the room was fairly well illuminated, and he looked over at the closet, and saw the girl in the mirror again.

She was reaching out to him and making a motion for him to come to her.

Scared but unable somehow to refuse he got out of his bed and headed over to her. He put his hand up to hers and found that his hand went into the mirror. She took his hand and guided him through.

Once he was on the other side, he looked down and saw that he was no longer a boy. He was really a girl, wearing a pretty dress. He looked at the girl he had seen in the mirror, and she said, "Hi Joann."

"Hi… Where am I? How did I get here? And who are you?"

"Whoa… One thing at a time. I'm Lisa. I'm your sister. You came through the mirror; I don't know how it works. Grandma Larkin told me it was time, and I have been watching for you."

"Grandma Larkin… My mom had a Grandma Larkin, but she just passed away, recently. The house we are living in was hers."

"I know. But that was on the other side." Lisa said.

"Why am I a girl here?" Joann asked.

"Because that is who you really are. Something is wrong on the other side, and you have a boy's body, but here you are who you are supposed to be." Lisa told her.

"What about my mother? I have to go back." Joann said.

"If you wish to, simply put your hand on the mirror and you will go back." Lisa told him.

"Will I be able to come back here if I go back?" Joann asked.

"Yes. But at some point, you will have to choose one world or the other." Lisa said.

"How do I come back, it has only showed me your world twice now."

"Now that you have been through, you will be able to activate it yourself. Grandma Larkin activated it earlier tonight. She felt you would be more comfortable speaking with me, so she gave us some privacy."

Joann put her hand on the mirror and found he was pulled back to the other side and looking down saw himself again. He looked back at the mirror and Lisa waved, and said, "Good Night," though he could not hear her.

---

The next morning when he looked at the mirror it was again showing his normal room. He walked over to it, and put his hand on the frame, thinking of the other world. The reflection instantly changed.

He put his hand on the mirror and she found herself on the other side, looking back through the mirror at his room. She immediately put her hand back on the mirror and he found himself back in his room. When he backed away, the mirror image faded back to his own room.

---

"Mom, did you know Grandma Larkin well?"

"Not too well, Jeff. My mother died when I was quite young, and my father did not get along too well with her," Jeff's mother told him.

"When did you last see her then?" Jeff asked.

"I saw her a few years ago, at Aunt Joann's funeral."

Jeff started. "Aunt Joann? I don't think I've heard of her before."

"She was my mother's sister."

"What was your mother's name?" Jeff asked.

"Lisa. Her name was Lisa." She looked at Jeff strangely. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Maybe I have, but I don't think you would believe me." Jeff replied.

"Try me." His mother said.

Jeff told his mother about what he had seen in the mirror.

His mother of course did not believe him. She got upset and thought that this was just Jeff's way of getting her to talk about his desire to cross dress again. She told him, "That's not funny, Jeff. I've told you that you will put this behind you. Don't bring it up again!"

"Mom, I'm not lying to you, the mirror really is a portal to another world. I'll show you!"

His mother followed him to his room, he put his hand on the frame thinking of the other world, and the image changed.

"See Mom, the room in the mirror just changed."

"Stop it Jeffrey, it's not funny. I don't know what kind of game you are playing but there is nothing different in the mirror," she stormed out of his room.

---

He called Claire that afternoon. After getting caught up on how things were back at the old school, and telling her about the new school, he said, "Claire… I have something to tell you about, and I don't think you will believe me."

"Of course I'll believe you, Jeff, why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm not sure I believe it myself," he replied. He then explained about the mirror, and how he had thought he had been hallucinating at first, but that when he found himself on the other side, he knew it was real.

"And you are sure you were not just dreaming?"

"I'm sure, I didn't go back to sleep at all that night."

"So you were really, physically a girl then?"

"Yes."

"How did it feel? Did you realize it right away? I mean I would think it would feel very different."

"Wonderful. I can't really describe it; yes it was different, but then not as much as I would have thought. I knew something was different, but I couldn't place it till I looked down and saw what was different."

"So you really think this mirror is a portal to another world?"

"Yes, I do. I don't understand it, but I do."

"You be careful, you could get trapped over there, and you have no idea what is really going on. I don't like the sound of having to choose between one world and the other."

"What I don't understand is why my Mom couldn't see it."

---

Jeff tried to resist the mirror, it frightened him. As time went by though, his need to spend time as Joann, knowing that he could really be Joann, was too much for him. He went to the mirror, activated it and pushed on through.

"Hello Joann," Lisa said as she sat up in her bed.

"Hi Lisa," he replied.

"It's been a while, I wasn't sure you would be back. Grandma Larkin said you would though, but it would take some time. I guess she was right."

"Well, I'm not sure I should be doing this. It's a bit frightening you know. What if I get stuck here, I don't really know where I am. But I just needed to come back again."

"It's ok, I understand. I'd be afraid to go through myself, I don't really know much about the mirrors, but Grandma Larkin says that they are very useful."

"Will I meet her?"

"Sure, when you want to, I'll introduce you."

"Ok… I think I want to, because I have lots of questions for her, but I have to go to school now, so I have to go back. I'll see you later."

---

Over the next few months, Jeff spent as much time as he could visiting the other side. The next time he went he met, Grandma Larkin.

She explained, "Joann, on this side, you are your true self. When you cross through the mirror only your soul passes through. Our bodies are supposed to be physical representations of the soul, and somehow in your world, your physical body is out of synch with your soul, and that is making Jeffrey very unhappy. When your soul crosses through the mirror a temporary physical representation comes into existence here. As long as you have a permanent physical existence in your world, you will be tied to that world, and will only be able to stay here for short periods of time. This world is very similar to yours, but there are significant differences."

"Why couldn't my mother see this world in the mirror?"

"The mirror is a gateway between our worlds. There are more of them, to date we are aware of 30 of them, there may be more. However each mirror, which exists in both worlds, can only be linked to one soul at a time. In rare cases, a mirror can be linked to two people that are practically the same in two worlds, which is what happened with your Great Grandmother and me, until she passed away. At that time the link was broken. Though it was no longer linked to me, it still recognized me and I could still activate it. One of the powers of the mirror is the ability to see things in other universes, but also in our own, so you're great grandmother Larkin knew that you were hurting. Her last wish was to give you the opportunity to choose. She left the house to your mother, knowing that you would come. I promised to give you the choice. While it was unlinked, anyone could use it to look to the other side, as long as it was active, so Lisa could watch you and wave to you that first night."

"So?"

"Once you came through, the mirrors on both sides became linked to you. I can no longer activate it, and no one other than you can now see through or go through it to the other side. It is locked to you now."

"Lisa said that I would have to choose one of the worlds eventually? Why?"

"As I explained, you can only exist for short times here with this temporary shell, and then you must return to your permanent body. Your situation is more complicated than most because of the gender difference. On that side you are unhappy being a boy. You long for what you can have here. You will eventually have to choose to stay here and be a girl, or to break the link to here altogether to keep from going insane."

"But if I have to return to my permanent body after a short time, how could I choose to stay here?"

"By breaking the link back to your world, your temporary body would become your permanent body. That is not something to consider lightly, my dear. If you do so, there is no going back."

"Oh…. Where did the mirror come from? How does it work?"

"I don't really understand how they work myself, even after all these years. I know the rules they operate under, and that is all. There are an infinite number of alternative universes. The one constant is that for humans we have two genders, not sure what meaning that has, but if you notice the symbols on the mirror that is what it represents. Interestingly though, you would think that with all of those universes, you would have millions of counterparts, but you don't. Most people are unique, a few like your great grandmother and I have one counterpart and an even fewer have a second, and so far there have only been two cases of a third being found."

"But where do they come from?"

"As far as we can tell, they just are. I don't think they are really mirrors myself, though that is the way that we perceive them. Every so often, new ones are located. Sometimes when the person they are locked to dies, they disappear from where they are, and show up somewhere else already locked to a new person, sometimes they stay put and wait to be locked onto someone new. As I told you, your great grandmother knew about your struggles, and we knew that your soul would correct itself here, so I believe the mirror answered her final wish, and waited to let me pass it to you."

---

The more time that he spent on the other side, the harder it became to return and become male again, yet he loved his mother and did not want to lose her.

"That is just spooky, Jeff," Claire said when he explained it to her.

"A bit, but it does work, exactly as she said it does.

"What are you going to do then? I don't want to lose you, Jeff."

"I know, Claire, and I don't want to lose you either. But she was right about one thing, coming back here, to this … body… I hate it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could just have some time as Joann, here, but my Mom just won't talk about it. She is constantly checking through my things and on me, so there is no way to steal time. The only relief I get is on that side of the mirror. I have a good life over there, I've spent evenings with my friends, and it is wonderful."

He tried again one morning to tell his mother about the mirror. His mother said, "Enough! I'm late for work, but tonight I'm going to get rid of that mirror, and then we won't have any more talk about this."

---

Jeff went straight to his room after school. He had to choose.

He called Claire to say goodbye, "Claire, Mom is going to destroy the mirror when she gets home. I can't … I just can't stay here as Jeff, I wanted to thank you for being the only person that understood, and to say Goodbye. Don't cry for me, Claire, I'm going to be fine."

"Jeff, no, don't please, don't!"

"I'm sorry, Claire, I have to go." Jeff hung up the phone, and made his choice.

Lisa was waiting for him. He pushed through the mirror.

---

His mother came home and found him in his room. She cried out, "NO!!"

The police came and tried to determine what had happened. "It makes no sense. That mirror blew out from the inside. It's almost like something hit it from behind, and the fragments came and stabbed him right in the heart."

Later that night she went into Jeff's room, and saw a piece of the mirror was still sitting there, missed by the detectives. She picked it up and could see a pretty girl looking out at her, she was crying, she took a letter and pushed it toward the mirror. Amazingly, a letter came out of the mirror shard and into her hand.

Jeff's mother picked up the note, and read it.
 
 

Dear Mom, I am sorry. I love you so much, but I had to choose, and on this side of the mirror I can be who I really am. Grandma Larkin sends her love as well, and promises that she will take good care of me. Love you, Jeffrey

 
 
She looked back in the mirror shard and saw that it was fading. As it faded out she saw the pretty girl say "Goodbye."
 
 

---

 
Author's Addendum: I hope that you enjoyed this revised and expanded version of the story. One of the things that was suggested by those who read the original was that the mirror concept is one that could lead to other stories about the mirrors and the people they work with. I have some thoughts on this, and would love to know if anyone would be interested if I were to write some more.

Kristy