Announcement: Demon Queened is officially finished on Patreon! (Or at least the rough draft is. The advanced chapters still need to be edited by FallingLeaf... but still! It's... done? I finished it? It still doesn't feel quite real...

“This is a car,” I declared, gesturing to the vehicle in Ashley’s garage. It was fairly nondescript - or as nondescript as it could be, considering it was completely alien to the world I’d grown up in. It wasn’t as if I’d ever seen one before. Not really. But, with Jacob’s memories in my head, I couldn’t help but think it looked perfectly mundane. In fact, I’d even go so far as to call it boringly plain, with nothing to mark its brand, model, or make. The most descriptive thing I could say about it was that it was colored white.

“You do realize that just saying ‘this is a car’ doesn’t actually explain anything, right?” Abigail asked me. “I mean, it’s got wheels - I can see that much - so… I’m gonna guess a wagon, of some sort?”

“Pretty much,” I confirmed, using the fob I’d confiscated to unlock the doors and then opening the one in the rear. “Get in. Ashley can drive.”

“Be careful,” Ashley warned. “Keep your hand on the fob. It should be fine since the door’s unlocked, but the alarm’s really finicky and if it goes off Luci will make me apologize for disturbing the neighborhood and also do all of her paperwork again…”

“Sorry, but drive what exactly?” Abigail asked, interrupting Ashley’s tirade. Much to the annoyance of the angel, if the look on her face was anything to go by, but she didn’t say anything. “I don’t see any horses, or anything?”

“It moves with magic,” I replied. “...Though the mortal version doesn't. That one relies on… well, a lot of things I’m not really in the mood to get into right now. Suffice it to say that it needs no horses to draw it.” I didn’t even know how I’d begin to explain about engines and controlled explosions - especially since I didn’t know much more than her to begin with.

“...Right,” Abigail replied, eyeing the car skeptically. Eventually, however, she shrugged and climbed in nonetheless.

“Lucy?” I prompted, expecting her to follow.

“Eena?” She stood in place, not moving. “Can we talk?” 

“Of course,” I replied instantly, turning my full attention towards her. “What’s wrong?” Hopefully it wasn’t anything I’d done. I almost asked but didn’t. Not because I feared the answer - though I did - but because this moment was about her.

“I’m… really struggling,” she admitted. “It feels like everything I ever knew about the world has been turned upside down! Liz isn’t anything like I thought, the person who gave me my powers only did it to hurt you and your mom, and she locked up Liz, and… I really thought I could get answers from the Grand Patriarch, but now he’s gone, and I’m not really sure what to do! I know this isn’t the best time to bring this up, but… I feel like I’m going to break if I don’t figure something out! So I thought maybe we could talk it through together?”

I hesitated a moment. She was right about this not being the right moment, as little as I wanted to admit it. Yet she had brought it up anyway. Clearly it was getting to her enough that she couldn’t afford to let it fester any longer.

“Can we talk about it in the car?” I asked. “I imagine we’ll have something of a drive.”

“You should get Abigail to set up her bubble again, too!” Liz said. “You don’t want to be seen driving about, right?”

“Wouldn’t that stop Ashley from seeing?” Abigail asked, arching an eyebrow. “How’s she supposed to drive if she can’t see where she’s going? …And will the car even run if it’s surrounded by an unholy bubble of magic?”

“Oh right…” Liz murmured sheepishly. “Uh… The bubble shouldn’t be a problem, the car’s got internal energy to work with, but… Maybe you could drive? It’s not that hard!”

“I don’t know how I feel about a stranger driving my car,” Ashley said. “What if she crashes it?”

“I’m pretty sure that’d be the least of your problems,” Abigail replied, “but I’m not exactly keen on it myself. How about I just… I don’t know, project what I’m seeing on the glass? It can’t be that much harder than whatever Devilla’s doing to let us talk to you, right?”

“I guess not…” Liz said. “Assuming you have enough arcane magic stored, at least.”

“Maybe?” Abigail hedged, suddenly hesitant. “My reserves stopped filling when we got here, and I don’t think I filled a fraction of what I can store. I have always been good at illusions, though.”

“I know I’m the one who suggested we talk in the car, but could we please talk about this after Lucy and I are done talking?”

“It’s fine, Eena,” Lucy said. “This stuff is important too.”

“But not as important as you!” I replied firmly. “I understand now that you’ve been going through a lot - I should have realized it earlier, with how quiet you’ve been.” 

“It’s not… that bad… I’ve mostly just been lost in thought,” she admitted. “I really wanted to talk to the Grand Patriarch… to try and understand why he did what he did! And maybe to ask him who knew what - to find out how much more of my life was a lie. I think part of me is maybe relieved I didn’t have to learn any more secrets, but a bigger part of me worries that now I never will!”

“We can investigate once we’re back,” I promised. “We’ll question anyone you wish to question and find whatever answers we can. There’s likely documents that might hold crucial information, as well - we can ask Joana for help finding and searching through them.”

“I know,” Lucy replied. “Or well… I wasn’t really able to think it through that much, but I knew we could do something! It’s just… I don’t think it’s really about what I know, it’s just how I feel. Like I don’t know what’s up from down anymore… I mean, I’m an angel Eena! And we’re fighting other angels! Who the Goddess said are all actually terrible… It’s starting to feel like everything I ever knew was a lie! Ever since I left home… Ever since Mom died…”

“Oh right!” Ashley said, her head snapping towards Lucy. “Your tragic backstory!”

“...Tragic backstory?” I asked, a foreboding feeling rising up in my gut.

“Yeah, Luci’s bragged about it to me a bunch - did you know she’s actually the one who told the church where to find Lucy? …Well, she didn’t tell anyone so much as reactivate the artifact she’d already given to the church. Y’know, the same one they used to find her when she was a baby? Right before they killed her other… mother… uh… Is she going to be alright?”

I didn’t answer. Neither did Abigail or Liz. I think we were all waiting for Lucy’s reaction, to see how she would respond to a revelation that honestly sounded almost obvious to me in retrospect, yet was doubtlessly devastating to her.

“Lucy?” I asked after a moment. “Are you alright…?”

Lucy didn’t say anything. In fact, I quickly realized to my horror that Lucy had stopped moving.

“What’s wrong with her?!” I demanded, glaring at the air nearby due to lacking an actual substitute for Liz.

“Nothing!” the goddess hurriedly assured me. “Probably? I think she’s just in shock…”

“Shock enough to completely freeze?!” I demanded.

As if to answer my question Lucy collapsed.

The cold floor felt nice against my cheek. Not because I was hot or anything, though - it was nice because it was distracting. It gave me something to think about other than all the obvious stuff I needed to think about. Like the fact that Eena was currently getting super worried about me! Even though I was totally fine. I’d just… stopped wanting to support my own body weight. For a moment.

…Maybe things weren’t fine? It felt… weird to admit that. I was getting kind of used to that, though - I mean, pretty much everything that had happened to me since meeting Eena made me feel weird! From sneaking out on an ordinary date to finding out I’d fallen for the Demon Queen, every single step of my journey with her had been strange and new and exciting in some way or another!

…This wasn’t really exciting, though. It hurt. But… it felt good to be able to hurt like that, in some ways? Like… like a wound I’d never even noticed finally getting given the attention it desperately needed.

Maybe that was just me trying to find a bright spot in all this, though? That’s what I usually did! It usually worked a lot better than it was right now, too… Maybe I wasn’t looking at the right bright spot?

Like... sure. The church had maybe murdered both of my parents. Definitely one, from the sound of it, but… maybe both. It was a possibility I didn’t like thinking about. It was a question I didn’t want to know the answer to… and yet, it was something I needed to know.

Which meant asking. Which meant moving. Maybe even getting up off the floor.

That sounded harder than it should.

“Lucy?” Eena asked, hesitantly bending down beside me. I could see the worry in her eyes. “Are you alright?”

I nodded. Then I shook my head. “Did the church kill both my moms?”

Eena didn’t say anything. But Ashley did.

“Pretty much? I think they usually just take the baby from their parents, but your moms tried to run away with you, so… Yeah. Luci… liked to boast about it. How everything was proceeding according to plans, with you and Devilla, and how she barely had to do anything to make it happen…”

“Was it the Grand Patriarch who ordered it?” I asked after a moment. “Was Father Tuffel in on it? Who… who else knew?”

“I mean, I’d assume the Grand Patriarch did, since Luci often boasted about him being her most loyal dog - I think she was also trying to hint that she didn’t trust my loyalty by comparison? Considering how things are going right now, I suppose I can’t really blame her… I don’t know about any Father Tuffel though,” Ashley replied absentmindedly. “Given how much of a control freak she is she probably told the Grand Patriarch to keep it to himself. My fan theory is that the assassins he used knew the details, but that he killed them afterwards since Luci would have ordered him to take care of any loose ends… And to keep it from getting out. I mean, no matter how corrupt some of the church is, I’m pretty sure assassinating the mother of one of their holiest figures would be a bit much for most of them. That’s mostly just me extrapolating, though. I did ask Luci for details - who wouldn’t wanna know more about the characters in their video game? - but she said she didn’t really care about those details, and to just focus on her victory instead…” Her voice trailed off as she suddenly realized what she was saying.

“I… see…” I didn’t. I didn’t see, didn’t understand, couldn’t empathize. She was treating me like a character in a story rather than a real person. Not that I wasn’t used to being treated as something other than a flesh and blood human being, but… still… “I think I’m going to have a lot of questions for people when I get back, Eena.”

“I imagine you will,” Eena replied, sounding worried. “Are you going to be alright in the meantime, though?”

“No,” I answered truthfully. “I’m actually really hurting right now… I mean- the church used me! They killed my moms, and they lied about it, and they pinned it on you, and they used me! Having the Heroine working with them made them seem like they were in the right, even when they were honestly doing terrible things… and I knew that, but I thought it was fine because I was still doing good, and I could maybe help make the bad things less bad over time? And because every time I brought it up, people said to focus on the war instead… so I thought maybe if we could just bring about peace, the church would start looking inward? But… They were using me from the start. The whole thing… is it all rotten…?”

“There are still good people working there, no? You said so yourself.”

I nodded, slowly. “I think so… I want to think so… they couldn’t have all been in on it… right?” I knew they couldn’t have. It would make no sense.

I still wanted to hear it from Eena.

“I’m sure some of them are sincere. Maybe even most of them,” she replied without any hesitation. Which was sweet. I knew she wasn’t the biggest fan of the church. She wasn’t a fan of Heroines, either. But she’d come to me, anyways… because of who I was as a person.

Because I wasn’t just ‘the Heroine’ to her. I was Lucy.

“I… don’t know what to do about this,” I admitted, before pressing down against the ground and slowly climbing to my feet. “I don’t know what to think, or who to trust… except for you. Yet I know that the two - no, three of us, can all work together to figure things out!”

“Four of us!” Liz chimed in. “I’ll help too. If there’s an ounce of actual belief in these people, I’ll make use of it to really turn the screws on them!”

“Thanks, Liz,” I replied, with a smile. It was small and fragile. Not at all like the beaming smiles I usually preferred. But… it was a smile, all the same.

“Come on,” I said, moving towards the strange carriage. “We can talk more in the car!”

~~~

Author's Notes

This is not a chapter I expected to be writing, to be honest. In fact, I didn't even realize Lucy was struggling until I reread the chapter before and realized how little she'd been contributing since Ashley showed up. (Part of that is me not being the best at juggling that many people in a singular conversation, but also she's legitimately upset...)

It's also weird to write Lucy this upset? This close to... not quite giving up, but... not being able to continue? In the end, though, she got herself up again! Probably for the best that she cleared the air before Luci could tear at those threads, too. (I hope it all came across as in character, though? DX I'm a little worried, since I'm not used to writing this side of her...)

Anyways, thanks for reading - and many thanks to FallingLeaf for editing!

PS: Did you know you can read ahead on Patreon - all the way to the end of the series - for as little as $1? It's yet to be edited by FallingLeaf, but all the same... if ever you've been tempted to read ahead, now's the time! You can read six chapters ahead on this, two chapters ahead on Naughty Magic - which I hope to get back to now that I'm done - and also two chapters of Hatching a Heroine, a story I really need to get back to.... all for that same low price of $1~!

Plus, you'll get permanent access to the discord (available to free members as well, if wanted) and you can read all about my future plans for the series~!)