Sleep wasn’t exactly easy to come by that night. It did eventually take me, mind you, but I’ve got no idea when - I mostly just remember tossing and turning and trying real hard not to think too much about my feelings. Not the way I’d normally be handling things, but considering the source of those feelings was sleeping right next to me… Well, it wasn’t exactly idealfor sorting through my mental state.

I know I fell asleep eventually, though, because I came to when I felt Devilla start to tug herself out from under my arm. An arm I definitely didn’t remember putting around her - probably happened in my sleep, or something. Thankfully, whether because the clue was too small or the Queen too oblivious, Devilla didn’t seem to make anything of it.

“Eager to get back to your girlfriend?” I asked, stretching and trying very hard to ignore the pang of what was probably jealousy going through me.

“Apologies for waking you,” Devilla replied, a soft smile on her lips. I wish it was for me, but I was pretty sure her mind really was on Lucy. “To be honest, though, I’m actually rather nervous… I trust Lucy to have cleared the place of rats, and yet I can’t help but worry she might have failed… It’s utterly irrational.”

“Relax, you’ll be fine,” I promised. “What sort of rat could even hurt you, anyhow?”

“It’s not a matter of physical harm…” Devilla protested, frowning. “It’s simply… fear. Terror, even.”

“Terror… over rats?” The big bad Demon Queen being scared of rats was still difficult for me to wrap my mind around. I mean, she was half a step away from being invincible! There was literally only one person in the world who could beat her, and not only was she too weak for it right now, she’d actually joined forces with her enemy!

The way Devilla actually flinched when I said the word, though? Yeah, that was enough to convince me this was no joking matter.

“Alright, alright, I’ll drop it,” I promised. “For real, though - Lucy’s probably missing you. It’s her first night by herself since you reunited, right?

“I suppose that is true,” Devilla conceded. “And I still wish to elucidate Lucy on matters of demonic etiquette before we meet with Chloe’s mother, tonight.”

“You mean your aunt?” I asked, causing her to flinch again. “No offense, but are you sure it’s a good idea for her to be coming? Meeting a relative for the first time sounds stressful enough without adding an undercover Heroine to the mix.”

“She wants to know more about her family,” Devilla replied with a shrug. “Who am I to deny her a firsthand account?”

“I don’t know, maybe the queen?” I pointed out. “The future of our country is at stake here. Not exactly the best time to let your heart lead over your head.”

“My heart’s taken me this far,” she replied with a pout, “and I think it will take me farther yet. I won’t ask Lucy to be satisfied with second hand crumbs when she could have been in a position to ask questions herself.”

“Then how about a compromise?” I suggested. “Bring her in after your aunt cracks. Assuming she does crack, anyway.”

“That… might be doable,” Devilla conceded after a long moment. “I’ll discuss the matter with Lucy.”

“Good…” I sighed in relief, glad to have that sorted. Lucy showing up and announcing herself the way she did last time could easily lead to disaster… It was honestly a miracle it hadn’t ended that way the first time around!

Though, at the same time… Well, considering those newfound feelings I was still trying really hard not to think about… Could I be 100% sure that this was a selfless move on my part? That I didn’t just want a little more time with Devilla, sans Lucy? I mean, I could have brought this point up at any time, yet I was stomping all over their plan the day of?

 Yeah… Feelings were complicated.

Feelings were complicated. You know what else was complicated, though? Cooking! Or something. 

…Honestly, I had no idea where I was going with that logic - or why I was even bothering with it for that matter. It wasn’t like I needed to rationalize what I was doing, anyways… Not really…

Long story short? I was going to see a certain cook because she was the closest thing I had to a friend aside from Devilla… even if Lenora was more like a ‘work friend,’ really.

I wasn’t exactly good at the whole social thing. Too prickly. Too prone to saying whatever the hell was on my mind. Also terrible at reaching out. And it didn’t help that everyone at my last job hated me. They kept accusing me of getting good clients through nepotism, rather than hard work and talent. It was the main reason I ended up switching careers to be a maid in the first place, and as for making friends among the staff there? Yeah, good luck finding someone who’d stick around long enough to form a proper friendship. One day you’d be best buds, the next they’d be fleeing the floor in tears and you’d never see them again… All at the hands of a girl I now had feelings for.

So yeah. Even if I did actually have more friends to pick from, I probably wouldn’t have been able to explain to most of them why I was feeling the way I was… Lenora, though, had actually respected Devilla before she stopped being a… No - before she started healing and actually became nice to be around.

So there I was, standing outside the kitchen, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. Also trying to ignore the horned wolf sniffing at the air besides me. She was back to her usual ‘protect Maid’ schtick now that she’d been returned to the tower. Something I didn’t need or appreciate! Even if it did sorta send warm tingly feelings through me when I remembered how Bailey’s reasoning was that I was ‘important to Queen.’

…Dammit, I had it bad, didn’t I? When did this even start? I mean, up until a day ago, I’d been completely comfortable just being Devilla’s friend! No, more like I’d finally gotten over the mind boggling fact that I was the supposedly bratty queen’s friend! And now I was feeling warm tingles at the thought that I was important to her? What the hell!

Shaking those thoughts off - alongside my nerves - I went ahead and made my way through the kitchen doors. It was a bit past lunch at this point, and while I was pretty sure the kitchen never really came to a full stop during working hours, everyone there still needed to take breaks now and again. This was around time for Lenora’s, which made it all the more baffling for me to find her exactly as I always did - sweeping the floors.

“...Seriously?”

“Ah… No, um….” She tightened her fingers around the broom, looking both ways as if begging someone to come save her. Of course, the few people who were still in the room just focused on their own tasks even more intently. “It’s not what you think…”

“So you’re not sweeping the floor during what’s meant to be your break?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“N-No…?” Lenora tried, red tingeing her cheeks as her tail swayed nervously back and forth behind her. “I-I mean… I am, but… but I was cooking, earlier! I mean, it was mostly just mixing sauces, but still! The head chef said my work was satisfactory!”

I opened my mouth. Then I closed my mouth, placed my head in my hands, and let out a long sigh. “So you’re pulling double duty as a cook and a scullery maid?”

“W-Well… I’m still proving myself…” Lenora muttered, shrinking in on herself. “I… I need to show that I can work hard! That I’m not just here because of my family’s name…”

“Sounds more like you’re letting them walk all over you,” I replied, letting my hands drop back down from my face as I let loose another sigh. “But, as long as you’re happy, I guess it’s a step in the right direction…”

“It is!” Lenora agreed, happily thumping her tail against the ground. “I-I mean… it is…”

“Alright…” I conceded, holding my hands up in defeat. “But do you think you could at least put the broom down long enough to have a late lunch with me? I… maybe kinda sorta really definitely need someone to speak to for a bit.”

“S-someone to talk to?” Lenora asked, confused. “But don’t you have Bailey right next to you? S-she is a demon, isn’t she?”

“Of course she’s a demon!” I replied. Maybe a little too forcefully. I was a little tired of people asking me about that, though… There was a stubborn rumor about Devilla sneaking in a wild animal that just wouldn’t die down. “I just… It isn’t something I can talk to her about.”

“Why not?” Lenora asked with a sort of tactless innocence I didn’t even feel right get annoyed at her for.

“Because she’d be way too smug about it! Now, can you come talk with me or not? Because I’m feeling pretty close to my wit’s end, here…”

“A-Alright…” Lenora promised, biting her lip. “I’ll um… I’ll just use magic to clean up the remaining dust… it’s sort of frowned upon, since it sends dust flying everywhere for a second, but…” Lenora scrunched up her eyes, obviously concentrating, and a moment later I felt a wash of power running over me. Next thing I knew, dust and dirt and food particles were coming up off the ground all around me and gathering into a neat pile by Lenora’s broom. Much to the complaints of those still scurrying around doing things, as the dust swirled around their legs to reach its destination.

“S-sorry!” Lenora called out. “I-It’s for the Queen’s p-personal maid, though, so-”

“Emergency!” I interrupted. “Very important Queen-based emergency. She’s coming with me for a bit.” Saying so, I grabbed hold of Lenora’s hand and practically yanked her out of the room.

“A-Abigail?” Lenora stuttered. “I-is there really an emergency?”

“Yes. No. Maybe sort of? It’s related to Devilla and it’s urgent, anyways…” At least to me it was.

“I-I’m not in trouble, am I?” Lenora asked next, her voice shaking from fear.

That, at least, managed to stop me in my tracks. I looked back at her, baffled - an expression Bailey mirrored. “Why would you be in trouble?”

“I-I mean… W-well… The th-things I said to G-G-General S-Sylvanna, the other day… I mean, I was really mad, so I said things, and I meant them, but…”

“You mean the bimbo bit of her we had the displeasure of speaking with?” I asked, remembering the unpleasant interaction. “If she wants to stir up any trouble, she can go through me. And probably Devilla, too, but I’m not going to let her get past me in the first place.” Not if it meant Devilla would have to face a woman who’d been verbally abusing her for the last fourteen years.

“S-So there is trouble?” Lenora asked, her usually dusky skin now almost pale.

“No, there isn’t,” I promised, forcing myself to keep calm. No need to push Lenora into a freak out. “I promise. I just want to talk to you about something… Queen related.”

“A-Alright…” Lenora agreed, nervously nodding her head. “It um… Doesn’t have anything to do with the secrets of why the Queen’s sneaking around, does it? B-because I kn-know you trust me, but I r-really don’t think I’m the right p-person for telling secrets to…”

“Not… directly,” I replied, evading the question. I didn’t really know how to answer it, myself. Did I even want to talk about Lucy? I mean, she was a complicating factor in the whole feelings thing… “I’ll keep it vague,” I promised, tugging her further down the hall and into Devilla’s room. It was sound proofed, so far as I could tell - you could hear what was going on outside of it from within, but not the other way around. Other than that, I just had to keep an eye on the teleportation circle and make sure the owner didn’t show up unexpectedly in the middle of this embarrassing chat. Bailey was a bit of a problem, but so long as she stayed in wolf form and kept quiet I could… think about it later. There had to be some way to buy her silence. Assuming she wasn’t outright willing to let me handle things, anyways…

“Wh-what’s going on, A-Abigail?” Lenora asked, her voice trembling as she looked between me and the closed door. I’d almost forgotten how nervous Devilla’s room made her, but it wasn’t like we could have this talk in a staff break room, so… 

“I think I have… feelings for Devilla,” I confessed - though I basically had to force the second half out of my mouth. Saying it aloud made it feel way too real. 

“...L-Like… romantic feelings?” Lenora checked, staring at me with wide eyes.

I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I wandered my way over to Devilla’s bed, plopped myself down on it, and closed my eyes.

“A-Abigail?”

“...Yeah,” I said eventually, opening my eyes again. “I think so.” Envy for how much she cared about Lucy, warm tingles when I thought about how much she cared about me… fear when I thought about what she might say. I’d never really fallen in love before, but so far as I could tell this checked all the right boxes. “Maybe it’s just a crush or something? Maybe I’ll get over it…”

“W-well…” Lenora bit her lip, her tail shaking a little from nerves. “Th-the last Queen married a commoner, right? It wasn’t really popular among the bloodliners, I guess, but…”

“The Smiling Soldier, right?” I asked, trying to remember what I’d learned about Devilla’s dam, Issa. “She was already basically a hero on the front lines, though, wasn’t she?”

“W-well… yeah,” Lenora said. “B-But I don’t think Q-Queen D-Devilla would care…”

“That’s true…” Nivera might throw a conniption fit about the politics, but she’d get over it. It wasn’t like she actually wanted Devilla to pick a bloodline member or anything, anyways. Sallina would probably be happy enough that Devilla was at least interested in a demon this time. They’d probably find a way to make it work, too… but… “It doesn’t matter, though. She’s already got a girlfriend.”

“Sh-she does?” Lenora asked, her eyes wide.

“Don’t tell anyone,” I  immediately added, “but yeah. They’re both real lovey dovey, too. Devilla’s always smiling whenever L…she comes up…” The tenderness in her eyes when she looked at Lucy was another dead giveaway. Also the determined look that she sometimes had - like she was ready to face the gallows if it came down to it, just so that she could spend a little more time with the girl. Which probably had more to do with Devilla’s own hang ups than anything, but… it really did drive home how much she cared.

“D-Do you t-think they’d be willing to… um… share?” Lenora asked. At some point she’d grabbed hold of her tail and was now nervously fiddling with the tip of it. “Demon Queens ha-haven’t really d-done that, h-historically, b-but Queen Devilla’s pretty… different… than most of the others.”

“Different how?” I asked, deciding to avoid Lenora’s question for now. I wasn’t sure about Devilla’s answer, but from what little I’d seen of Lucy… maybe.

That would put me in the same relationship as the Heroine, though, and I really wasn’t sure what to think of that. I mean, it wasn’t like we’d have to date each other, but we’d definitely at least have to be able to get along.

“I-I’ve heard that most Demon Queens start acting v-very… distant after the Rite,” Lenora told me. “Th-they always tend to k-keep to the s-same policies and s-stay away from the common folk… They’re always aloof and mysterious. Q-Queen Devilla’s mom was a-another exception, though, so m-maybe it’s not a surprise?”

“Her Mom?” I asked, interest actually piqued now. I didn’t really know a lot about the late Queen Grimmilla.

Lenora nodded. “S-she v-v-valued people’s lives more than anything,” she said, the stranglehold she had on her tail slowly loosening up as she started to get an excited look in her eyes. It was the same one she’d get when she talked about cooking. “She… maybe w-wasn’t the best tactician, according to s-some people, but she interceded a lot more in the war efforts than most Demon Queens did, and she did her best to keep as many soldiers as she could alive! Sh-she always said her people were more important to her than the land… t-though some people say that’s why we ended up with nothing but the Tower left… She ceded a lot of land to save lives. M-most people say that no other Demon Queen would have done that, let alone marry a commoner. She did charity work, too. And she was always so humble! Sh-she talked a lot about how she was only doing what Luci would have wanted of her… ”

“Huh… I never knew all that,” I admitted with a frown. “I mean, I knew the part about us losing a lot of land, but… I suppose that’s the difference between a public education and one given to a bloodliner, huh?”

“O-oh, I-I’m not a bloodliner,” Lenora protested, holding up her hands and waving them about as if she was scared of being hit with the label. “Th-though my family did hire tutors, I guess… but… Mostly it’s just an um... s-special interest of mine...”

“Demon Queens?” I asked, then shrugged when she nodded. “Huh… And you’re not a bloodliner? Even though you have a last name?”

“W-we’re just… kinda… rich,” Lenora murmured, sounding embarrassed. “W-we have a lot of stores. But we’re not from one of the bloodlines, or anything…”

“Huh…” I repeated.

“B-but um… Didn’t you want to talk about… your f-feelings?” Lenora asked, timidly.

I grimaced. “Yeah… about that… I’m not exactly sure what there is to say. I’m in love with a girl who’s taken, and the only way forward is to ask her girlfriend, right?”

Lenora nodded, looking a little confused. “S-so then… Why did you want to see me?”

“I don’t know… so I wouldn’t have to think about it by myself, maybe?” I suggested, honestly unsure. “Because the thought of what I have to do is so mind bogglingly outside my comfort zone that I was really hoping you’d have another suggestion? Or maybe just because it’s… I don’t know. It feels more real when I’m saying it to someone. Like I can’t avoid it anymore…”

I didn’t like avoiding my feelings. Confronting them was unpleasant, mind you, but hiding from them? That was the worst. It got nothing done! Usually I didn’t need to recruit allies for that sort of confrontation, though.

“M-Maybe you just needed a friend to talk to?”

“...Yeah…” I agreed. “Maybe.” I was still in pretty much the same place I’d started, despite sorting through what my feelings meant, but… it somehow felt better being stuck with a friend around than if I’d been by myself.

“Want to eat a late lunch?” I asked. “Something tells me I’m not going to have much of an appetite come dinner…”

~~~

Author's Notes

Once again, I'm delivering a chapter that didn't go the way I expected it to. The info on past Demon Queens? Never meant to be there. And I did think we'd get some time with Devilla, too... Oh well. I'm actually rather happy with how it came out.

...Kinda? For some reason I was constantly worried that I was messing up Abigail, despite the scene coming out more smoothly than anything has in a while. It was almost too easy to write her, which only made me more concerned. Hopefully you all enjoy it, though?

Thanks, as always, to the FallingLeaf for the amazing proofreading job!

PS: Patreon's only up to chapter 55 right now, but I'm hoping to get it up to 57 by next week.