Abigail desired to date me. Abigail desired to date me. Me! No matter how many times or ways I repeated it, it failed to make sense in my head. It was too foreign a concept for me to wrap my mind around. 

Lucy’s stubborn misconception of me was one thing. She’d only seen the good I had to offer, so far… No, she was choosing to focus solely on the good and overlook what I’d hidden from her. She lacked an understanding of who I truly was, though. An understanding that Abigail, of all people, should have had! When had I ever caused her anything but trouble? What had I ever done to deserve her affection or insistence upon my worth?

I’d practically forced her into working for me, not to mention bedding me, all while withholding crucial information from her. I’d eventually informed her of my secrets, of course, along with my plan to leave the tower behind - and she’d called me stupid. She’d stood up to me and had convinced me to alter my plots.

What’s more, she’d even taken it upon herself to remain active in my life, handling some things on my behalf. Even when my seemingly small request led her into a web of politics and lies and Nivera, of all people, she’d persisted in my name. She’d helped me without expecting anything in return.

She’d called me her friend. I’d thought it was the best I would ever get from her. It was far more than I deserved.

Yet now she apparently wanted to date me…

“Is everything alright?” Lucy asked from behind me while working an arm under my body to pull me in for a hug. We were currently sleeping together, as we often did, her naked body pressed against my own for warmth. Her breasts against my back, two weighty reminders of everything I’d gained and everything I could lose. Her love, her affection… it was already more than I deserved, yet now she was pushing me to seek even more?

“Why are you so invested in seeing me and Abigail together?” I asked, unable to resist. Though I wanted to treat it as a simple curiosity, my voice came out far more accusatory than I’d intended. Enough so that I flinched, worrying how she’d react.

“It’s not really that I want to share you,” Lucy told me in a surprisingly chipper tone. I could practically feel her smile across the back of my neck. “It’s just that I don’t see a reason not to? I’m pretty sure you’d push me towards anyone who you thought would be good for me, too…”

“Yes, but in my case it would be to ensure you still have support and love after you inevitably give up on me,” I confessed. I would have shaken my head, were I not afraid of tickling her nose with my hair. “I understand the concept of polyamory. I might even be polyamorous myself. I certainly feel as if there’s room in my heart for the both of you… or at least there would be, were the terror of potentially losing either of you not threatening to rend my heart asunder.” 

That was the problem, wasn’t it? I didn’t want to lose either of them. Ridiculous. I didn’t deserve either of them, yet I was somehow certain that both would lecture me for thinking that way… Lucy would tell me that there was no ‘deserving’ anything when it came to love, only receiving it or not. Abigail, meanwhile, would insist that it wasn’t my choice who she devoted her feelings towards.

“Both of you are wonderful,” I admitted aloud. “Yet I have an easier time seeing you with one another than myself…”

“Well, I did ask her out,” Lucy informed me before giving me a little squeeze. “For after her date with you, I mean. Maybe we can all date each other!”

‘Or you could dump me for her’ was my immediate thought, but the words didn’t leave my lips. I was certain the thought would anger Lucy, who would insist yet again upon her affection for me… affection I did believe to be genuine, but which I could not see lingering as she grew to know me better. No matter how much I wished otherwise.

“I just… don’t want to lose either of you,” I admitted at last. “You, who has helped me, held me, and believed in me. Abigail, who was first to greet me after I gained access to my past life memories. She supported me, stood by my side, and made me feel as if I wasn’t alone in this world… If I were to lose either of you, I’m not sure what I’d do… how I’d handle it.”

“Don’t think about that!” Lucy told me, though it sounded less like an order and more like a plea. “Just think about how happy we can all be if it works out! Isn’t that worth aiming for?”

“Bringing the two of you joy would be enough for me, even if I wasn’t involved in it…” I felt Lucy tighten her grip around me and quickly added, “But I suppose it would be better if all three of us could achieve it together somehow.”

“Hmm… I know you don’t really think it’s possible, but… I’m going to convince you otherwise! You’ll see for yourself that you can be happy, and that others can be happy to have you around!”

“For my presence to bring something other than misery… I suppose that’s a fantasy worth working towards, if nothing else.”

“You’ve already succeeded! Look how happy you make me,” Lucy insisted, somehow cuddling even tighter against me. I swear, she must have been squashing her boobs against my back.

Not that I was in any mood to back away…

“Fine,” I uttered at last. “Fine. I’ll go on a date with Abigail and see where it leads us…”

“And then I’ll go on a date with her, too, and see where that goes!”

“If that will make you happy… then so shall it be.” 

Maybe they’d both figure out they were better off without me, or maybe they’d end up dating one another and cutting me loose. Maybe I’d get to stay a friend, or maybe they’d decide it too awkward, preferring to never see me again.

Or maybe, some small part of me whispered as I fell asleep, just maybe we could all be happy together in the end…

The next day came far too quickly. Not that I was dreading it, per se, but knowing that I had a date later that very night… Well, it was a bit nerve wracking, to put it lightly. Nevertheless, time kept on marching. I ate breakfast with Lucy, helped to put away the tent in my Empty Bag, and then scooped her up in a princess carry so that I could fly us towards our mysterious destination.

Lucy still hadn’t told me where we were to have our date. The date that would directly follow my date with Abigail. Right before Lucy’s date with her…

To distract myself, I eventually ended up focusing on something else that had been bugging me. Namely, my vision. It still bothered me that a mere lantern had ruined my night vision that one time, when I now knew that no such impedance should. Flying had reminded me of something else, though - during my first true long distance fight, I’d noticed that I could spot details fifty feet below me, to the point of being able to make out individual leaves on trees. While I wasn’t entirely sure how impressive that was compared to what harpies and the like could manage, it seemed remarkably better than my day to day vision. Why?

Only one idea came to me, an easily testable one. Namely, I tried focusing on the trees I was flying over - and the world seemed to slow before my eyes. Suddenly, I could make out the leaves below me with ease, even spotting what looked to be a beetle atop one. Then, with the thought of returning my sight to normal, time snapped back to how it always was and the world blurred below me once more.

That… probably proved my theory correct. My senses - or at least my eyes - were not only highly adaptable, but incredibly responsive to my desires. My desires or unconscious expectations, if I had to guess. My eyes had misbehaved because I’d been thinking like a human, expecting myself to have human limitations despite all evidence to the contrary. Yet because I’d expected it, it became my reality…

I wondered what else that applied to. The ability to slow my perceived time was an obvious boon, but what about my other senses? What about my strength? If I was only ever as strong as I wanted or needed to be, then that might be the true reason I’d never struggled with accidentally breaking things, unlike Lucy. What about my durability? Was it possible for me to will myself to be frail? I had no intention of testing that out, but… it would probably be best to assume I was tough enough to handle anything, while preferably trying to avoid everything. If I feared an enemy’s might too much, I might accidentally give it power over me, yet if I recklessly accepted an attack… I shuddered to think of the results. If nothing else, I’d receive endless lectures from Abigail for risking myself without certainty or necessity.

For now, I decided to experiment with something much safer by increasing my hearing range. Reducing it was… probably possible, but would be difficult to test. Lucy was focusing hard on keeping an aerodynamic wind shield around us to help us move faster and block out the sound as we flew. Increasing my hearing range, meanwhile, let me hear those same howling winds again. Much too loudly, in fact, as I’d naively tried to press the limits of how far I could push my hearing. It was enough to cause a mental overload so bad that I almost dropped out of the air for a moment.

“Eena?” Lucy called out after I’d straightened myself out. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I informed her, my cheeks bright red. “I was merely paying for hubris, so to speak… are you alright, though? I should have known better to experiment with you in my arms.”

“I’m fine,” Lucy promised, “but what were you experimenting on?”

“My senses… I’ve discovered that I can manipulate how intense they are to some degree. I… went a little too high on the… hearing…” I paused. I’d been so focused on how overwhelming the sounds had been that I hadn’t really processed them. It was only looking back on that unpleasant memory that I recalled a very different sound from the roaring winds. What it was, I couldn’t tell you. I hadn’t really processed it, after all. I just remembered hearing something different at that moment. 

“Hold on,” I told Lucy, heightening my hearing again as I began to lower us to the ground. I was more cautious this time, but perhaps unnecessarily so. The normal sounds of nature were not nearly as overwhelming as the wind had been… Still, I went slow, only finding what I was looking for after several seconds as a result - the sound of someone cursing up a storm, as they clashed against… something. Something that screeched.

“There’s someone fighting up ahead,” I warned Lucy, placing her firmly on the ground. I then - after only a moment more of hesitation - removed my high heels. “I don’t know how far. We’ll have to hurry…”

“You might want to carry me then,” Lucy said. Her face had shifted to a more serious expression, one full of determination, yet I noticed the way she blushed faintly when she added, “You know, like you were before? I’m pretty sure you can move faster than I can…”

“Very well,” I conceded after a moment, placing my shoes into the Empty Bag and scooping her up into my arms once more. I began to run. The rocks were at first uncomfortable against my bare feet, but by focusing a little I was able to turn down my sensitivity to it, knowing that nothing the ground had to offer could actually damage me in any meaningful way.

The rest of my body, however, was hard at work dodging through branches, even as I tore through the underbrush. I didn’t care what scraped against me, but I didn’t want Lucy to experience such a rough ride. Even if her skin was too thick to be broken by a mere branch, getting whacked by one still felt very unpleasant in my experience.

Eventually we closed in on the problem, bursting free of the forest and finding ourselves upon a paved road. A wrecked carriage was in the middle of it, tilted to the side. A girl stood in the doorway, kicking and punching at any of the small monsters that got close to her.

The leader of the pack wasn’t going to allow that for long, though. Some distant part of me knew that. Knew that she would be in danger if this continued. That the monster was already moving towards her and I really needed to do something. In fact, Lucy was already calling my name for that very purpose. Squirming in my hold, trying to get free, wishing to go face that abomination.

It had four legs, covered in grey fur. Whiskers poking out on either side of its elongated snout. Two massive and sharp front teeth. A naked tail that swayed back and forth.

It was a rat. A giant rat. Surrounded by what had to be at least a hundred of its tinier brethren. A hundred rats.

A hundred.

A hundred and one if you counted the leader.

And Lucy wanted to go fight that? To enter their midst?

She would be safe. She would be. I knew that… and yet… the mere thought of letting her walk into danger, no matter how scared I was… No matter how many rats there were…

I tightened my grip around Lucy, wanting to tell her that it would be okay. I took a step towards the abominations, determined to face them this day.

Then the lady in the carriage punched a rat with enough power to send it flying right towards my face.

I wasn’t… entirely sure what happened after that. There was screaming, I think. A lot of it. Some of it probably came from me. Other than that, though? Nothing. Just… darkness, as if I’d closed my eyes and locked the world away.

I obviously hadn’t, though, because of what I found when I opened my eyes - which is to say, nothing. A massive crater of ‘nothing,’ where a portion of the road had simply ceased to exist, leaving only a smooth concave imprint of dirt behind.

I noticed that a wheel of the carriage was splintered - though whether it was me or the rats who did it, I could not say. The woman inside of it seemed fine, at least, even if she was gaping at me.

Lucy was safe, too, in my arms and hugging me. And speaking. She was trying to tell me something.

“-right! You’re going to be alright!”

“I… am alright,” I informed her, my voice monotone as I stared at the destruction I’d wrought. “But I think… I really need to work on my phobia in the future…”

“....That’s… probably a good idea,” Lucy agreed after twisting her neck to get a look at what I’d done. “But you didn’t hurt anyone, right? Except the poor rats…”

“Poor rats?!” I questioned. “And what exactly did I do to the ‘poor rats?’”

“I think you might be better off not knowing,” Lucy replied, not quite meeting my eyes. “I’m not really sure, myself… You must really hate them, though.”

“They’re a terror,” I confessed. “Left over from another life…” Jacob had lost some of his hearing to an ear infection after being bitten by one. Ever since he’d had a phobia of them. One I’d apparently inherited… I wondered why that had sunk in so deeply when other things had not. Perhaps because I had no real experience with rats in this life? So my image of them came completely from him…

Regardless, I had something else to deal with in the present. The aftermath. The woman from the carriage - a girl about my own age if I had to guess - was currently stomping towards me with a manic grin on her face. Another girl was following shortly behind, this one wearing a skirt and delicate looking shoes compared to the former’s choice of trousers and heavy boots.

“Yo!” the first woman called out to us after stopping a few feet away. “My name’s Grell and that was awesome! We have got to arm wrestle!”

~~~

Author's Notes

So, bad news first - I'm going through a lot with depression right now, and Patreon is only up to chapter 60. Depending on how things go, next week might get skipped in terms of public releases as I try to get Patreon two chapters ahead again.

As for actual chapter comments? Well, this one's been sitting in my head for a while now. Especially the second half. The first part wasn't really planned - it more demanded to exist, because Devilla was just too confused...

I've been wanting to work in the stuff about how adaptable Devilla's body is for a while now, though. It was just hard to find the right timing... Hope I managed okay?

Also. GRELL! You have no idea how long I've waited for this idiot... Though I only actually gave her a name, like... the day before I wrote this? DX She's been in my head forever, though, so I hope you enjoy her and her companion!

Also also. THE RAT KING. Don't take this as 100% canon until it's said in universe, but the basic idea was a a psychic beast that links up all the rats in the area and creates a hive mind... An abundance of rats might be a problem, but the complete and utter absence of rats says that there's probably one of these in the area! (I created them both to explain how lucky Devilla's been with not running into a ton of wild rats, and to give her nightmares! Endless nightmares...)

PS: Many thanks to FallingLeaf for the editing! It helps make the story that much better~!