Spit and Image: 4

 

Paul recovers from his traumas of the previous few days and moves forward in his
feminine exploration.

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Author's Note: If you enjoy this story, why not consider leaving me a review? ~Clara.
 
This version of Spit and Image: 4 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
 
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.

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Chapter 4
 

"Oh, Paulie, that's just adorable," one of the girls in Lori's homeroom group said.

"Those bangs, Paulie," said another, "they're so cute. I really like them. They make your face look kinda... I don't know... cherubic."

"Cherubic!?" Said a third. "Angelic isn't enough. He has to look 'cherubic'!? You're going to make a great writer, Lisa." Everyone laughed.

Paul loved the attention. He'd worn his hair down, parted on the right side and, as Allison had promised, there was no hiding the wispy, little bangs and that was just fine. He liked them.

He glanced at the clock. "I gotta run." He stood taller and kissed Lori's cheek.

"I'll walk you to class," Beth said and gave Lori a wink.

They moved through the crowded hallways without a lot of chatter, although Paul's hair did inspire a few surprised looks.

"Beth! Paul!" The call came from a nearby locker. It was Melissa from Paul's chorus class. "Can I walk with you?"

"Sure," Beth welcomed her. "How's it going?"

"Good, I guess. Umm... Paul? You weren't in school for the last few days. You ok?"

He smiled at her thoughtfulness. "Yeah, I'm ok, Melissa. Thanks. I just... wasn't myself for a bit. I'm much better, now, though." He grabbed Beth's hand and gave it a thankful squeeze.

"Oh, good. Hey, your hair is hot! I love it. I it looks so cute on your face."

"Thanks, Melissa."

"Gotta run! See you in chorus!" and Melissa disappeared into a classroom door.

"See," Beth leaned in and spoke softly. "I told you that people would be supportive."

Paul was about to answer when the resonate and beautifully accented voice of Mr Mwangi rang through the hallway. "Mr Rooney. May I see you in my office for a moment?"

Paul stopped and turned and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Umm, yes, sir, but I only have a minute to get to homeroom."

"I'll write you a pass."

Beth offered to come with him, but he gave her a kiss on the cheek and entered Mr Mwangi's room and the his small office.

Mr Mwangi regarded Beth with curiosity before closing his door and entering his office and looking at Paul. "I thought you were dating Ms Carter."

"I am, Mr Mwangi. Beth is just my friend."

"Ahh, I see." He nodded as he closed the door to his small office. "Take a seat, Mr Rooney."

Paul was a good kid. He'd never been in any trouble at school before and he was trying to figure out what he'd done, now.

As he sat, so did Mr Mwangi who also folded his long legs as he leaned his chair back and took Paul in, making note of the recent changes.

After a few moments of silence, paul asked, "Did I do something wrong, sir?"

Mr Mwangi smiled just slightly as he considered the question, the slight exposure of his white teeth flashing brightly against his coco-brown skin. "You've put me in an awkward situation, Mr Rooney."

"I'm sorry sir. What have I done?"

The tall man looked at the ceiling for a moment before continuing. "You are making it necessary for me to take an interest in my students private life. I find that awkward."

Paul could not think of anything to say. This was all very confusing.

"I like you, Mr Rooney. You're a good boy."

"Thank you, Mr Mwangi. I like you, too. You're a nice man." That had come out oddly, but Paul was just trying to return the compliment.

Mr Mwangi smiled as he searched for a better tact. "What I mean is, Mr Rooney... I have been teaching a long time and every now and then a student stands out as a special student. You are one of those students, Mr Rooney."

"Thank you, sir."

"You are bright, pleasant and reliable. All good qualities in a young man."

"Thank you, sir." Paul swallowed, a bit uncomfortable with the conversation. "Sir, have I done something in class to upset you?"

"No, Mr Rooney, no. I am just a bit concerned about you at the moment."

Paul shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Why, sir?"

The older man took a deep breath and pursed his lips in thought before speaking. "Monday night, Mr Rooney, I was leaving The Dairy Bar with my wife and I saw Ms Carter walking across the parking lot with a very attractive young woman." He paused for a moment while Paul considered what he was saying. "Imagine my surprise to realize that you were that young woman."

"Oh..."Paul gave a half-smile as he tried to find the words to explain things to his teacher.

"Then, on Tuesday morning, my wife was at the country club having breakfast with some colleagues when she saw a very upset young woman go running out the door and she was pretty sure that that young woman was the same one we'd seen on Monday night."

Paul nodded his head as he considered what he wanted to say. Mr Mwangi was not the hippest teacher at the school. He was from a more conservative culture where sexual roles were well defined and rigid.

"So, Mr Rooney, I want you to take this," he handed Paul a business card. "That is my sister-in-law."

"Sir?" Paul looked at the card. It was for a psychologist. The address for her office was just down the street from the high school. Why did Mr Mwangi think he needed a psychologist?

"She's a councilor who specializes in gender dysphoria and other issues."

Paul breathed a sigh of relief. He was gearing up to defend himself, but here was Mr Mwangi - man who seemed so old-fashioned in his behavior with 'Mr' this and 'Ms' that - giving him support in a very sweet and paternal way.

"If you're just playing at this, Mr Rooney, I must warn you that you can get hurt, both physically and emotionally, but if you're seriously dealing with gender issues, I encourage you to seek out counseling. You're going to need a professional to talk to as you progress."

Paul smiled. He wanted to hug Mr Mwangi, but he had an aura - almost a bubble - of respect about him that suggested that emotional outbursts were not welcome.

The bell rang and Paul rose. "Thank you, Mr Mwangi, sir, but right now, I'm just helping out my family with a project. I'm not really sure where I'm headed with all of this right now."

Mr Mwangi nodded and indicated the seat again. "Sit down, Mr Rooney. What we're discussing is more important than your civics class."

Paul sat again and waited nervously.

The teacher contemplated his student for a moment and chose his words carefully. This was not a conversation that he found comfortable, but it seemed necessary. "Mr Rooney... I was very worried when you did not appear for class on Tuesday or Wednesday. You are rarely absent."

"I know, sir, I was... well, I had a bad day on Tuesday and yesterday I... I needed another day to get myself back on track."

Mr Mwangi nodded. "I see." He regarded Paul before he spoke again. "Your hair has changed... and your eye brows and you have pierced your ears and you have long and shiny fingernails."

Paul nodded.

"I am not an overly observant man, Mr Rooney and I have noticed these things. I suspect that your classmates have as well."

Paul shrugged. "That's ok, Mr Mwangi. I'm ok with them asking questions."

The older man grumbled a laugh. "I admire your naïveté, Mr Rooney. There are many in this school who may not ask, but lash out instead. Simple minds do not like what they don't understand and I do not want you to get hurt. Am I making myself clear?"

Paul flushed a bit. Would someone really, physically hurt him? He figured there'd be questions, but he hadn't considered violence.

"So, I am asking you to be cautious, Paul."

Paul!? Did Mr Mwangi just call him Paul!?

"Please, until you have made a decision to announce to the world that you are going to become a woman, or until you stop 'helping your family,' I suggest that you take precautions."

Paul was listening closely. "What kind of precautions?"

"For instance, do not use a lavatory without someone you trust with you. Stay clear of the locker rooms unless you have to be in there. What I mean is, take care of yourself, Mr Rooney... or Ms Rooney... just... take care. There are small minded people amongst the population of the school. Do not, for a moment, forget that they are there. If you look like a woman, then you are vulnerable as a woman. Do you understand?"

"I do, sir."

"Good... good." He thought for a moment, but there was nothing more to be said. "Then, I will write you a pass to Mrs Priestly's class." He jotted a few things onto a school pass and handed it to Paul who stood stone still for what seemed to be a very long moment.

"Is there something else, Mr Rooney?"

"Yes, sir... I'm just... I'm sorry, sir... I'm just very thankful that you took the time to think about me, Mr Mwangi. I just never would have expected you to... I don't even know how to say it, sir..."

When Mr Mwangi stood and Paul felt even smaller than usual. The man was at least as tall as Keith, maybe taller. He placed a large hand on Paul's shoulder and tapped it gently. "Then don't say anything, Mr Rooney. I will walk you to class if you'd like."

Paul shook his head and took a moment to wipe a tear from his eye. "Thank you, sir, but I'll be fine. The assistant Principals are still in the halls. Thank you, though. Thank you for... well, thank you, sir." He extended his right hand.

Mr Mwangi took Paul's right hand with his and then covered the back of Paul's hand with his left. "You are very welcome. Now, go learn something useful, then come back to chorus after lunch and do something fun and useless - like singing."

Paul smiled at the man's joke. He nodded and left. When he entered the hallway, he found Beth and Lori waiting for him and explaining to Mr Cramer, an Assistant Principal, why they had not yet reported to homeroom.

Mr Cramer looked over their heads to see Paul and said, "Alright. There he is and he's fine. Do you have a pass, Rooney?"

Paul nodded and held it up so they could see.

"Then get to homeroom and I'll escort your security patrol to their's."

"Everything alright, Paulie?" Lori asked.

Paul smiled and nodded. Mrs Priestly's class was just around the corner, so he hustled to the door as he heard Mr Cramer admonishing the girls, "The only reason I'm not writing you two up is because this is the first time in four years that either of you has broken the rules. I'm going straight to my office and I'm calling your homerooms. If you're not there when I call, you'll both be reporting to detention hall at 2:30 this afternoon. Clear?"

"Clear," the girls replied as they smiled and waved at Paul before hustling off to their rooms.

"I mean it, girls!" Mr Cramer called after them. "You have about three minutes to get there."

The rest of the day went without incident. At the sound of each bell, one of the girls hustled to meet Paul as he exited one class and escorted him to the next. Melissa became one of the security team as well. She seemed to find Paul's new, feminine qualities very engaging and, during chorus, she even offered him the opportunity to join her and her friends at her home if he needed some practice-girl-time. He thanked her for her offer, but declined taking her up on it this week since he had a very busy schedule to get ready for a Saturday.

When school ended, Lori drove Paul to her house. "We've got some work to do, babe, and we have to meet your mom at your house for dinner and some alterations."

"Alterations?" Paul asked. "She's not going to alter grandma's dress is she?"

Lori laughed. "No, babe, not the dress. You."

"Me?"

She laughed harder. "Yes, you. She wants to try the dress with your new breast forms and a waist nipper. The bodice on your grandma's dress is designed to show off a more feminine shape than you have. A nipper should help."

He nodded. Whatever it took was fine with him.

When they arrived at Lori's house, Meredith and Samantha were just getting off of their school bus. They ran up the driveway, cheering that they had arrived in time to help.

"Help with what?" Paul asked.

"Oh, you'll see," Lori and the girls smiled in a very knowing manner.

"This can't be good."

When they entered the kitchen, Lori instructed, "Ok, you two, run upstairs and grab everything and bring it down to the living room." The younger girls nearly knocked each other over, running up the stairs. "Paulie, why don't you go into the bathroom down here and put on your bra and some nice panties. Make sure you're well tucked because, evidently, Merrie and Sammie are helping."

Paul grabbed a gym bag with his lingerie in it and asked, "Helping with what?"

Lori smiled. "Babe, I hope you don't mind, but, honestly, they're just trying to help and they're so excited."

"Excited about what? Lori, what have you gotten me into?" He was smiling, but he was leery.

Lori's smile grew. "They cleaned out their closets, babe. They have all sorts of stuff for you to try on."

Paul laughed. "Lori! I don't even know..."

"I know, I know - you may not continue wearing girls' clothes after Saturday. They know that, and that's what makes it so urgent that you do this with them today. Come on, babe. They're excited kids and they want to help. It's ok, isn't it?"

Paul shrugged. "Ok, but they're not going to see me in my undies, are they?"

"Babe, in this house we're all used to seeing each other in our skivvies. You're in 'The Hen House,' remember? If you're tucked, they're not even going to think twice about it. They just want to give you their pretty clothes. Ok?"

Shaking his head, Paul went to the bathroom to change.

When he returned, there were four reasonably large piles of girls clothing on the couch. It was definitely 'girls' clothing - not women's. The colors were brighter than women's clothing and the clothing looked as if they were designed for younger tastes.

Paul laughed at the quantity of clothing. "Wow. That's a lot of clothes. Did you girls keep anything for yourselves?"

Their grins were huge. "Try on mine, first, Paulie," Samantha begged. "You'll probably fit into all of Meredith's clothes. See if any of mine fit, first."

"Ok," he smiled at the excited tween and her enthusiasm.

There were pretty, ruffled tops that were way too young-looking for Paul to consider wearing, but one soft, blue top that looked nice with a short, white skort that also came out of Samantha's piles. Other than those items, though, everything was either too small, too short or too childish.

Meredith's piles of clothes, however, yielded a lot of comfortable clothing, including a heather-green, sleeveless romper that was dripping in layers of lace and buttoned up the back. Paul thought that it was the most comfortable and one of the most beautiful things he'd ever worn.

"Are you sure you don't want to keep it?" Paul asked.

"No, you can have it. It was Lori's when she was my age and I got it as a hand me down. I never wear it."

"How about you, Sammie? Don't you want it?" Paul asked the youngest sister.

"Nah," Samantha scowled. "I don't like green."

Paul hustled, barefooted, to a mirror in the bathroom. The garment hung loosely and luxuriously from his shoulders, over his faux breasts and to the elastic waist. Below that, it had very spacious shorts that more resembled a skirt than shorts. He turned to see how it hung behind him. It was just perfect. He adored it. Everything about it was just perfect. He checked himself out from every angle. He loved everything about it.

He'd never been so excited about an article of clothing before. He was giddy with excitement.

He hustled back to Lori. "This is cute, isn't it?"

She was amused by her boyfriend's enthusiasm. "Actually, I never much liked it much when it was mine, but I love it on you. You look great, babe. You like it, right?"

"I love it!"

Lori adjusted the shoulders a bit then held him at arms length and looked at him. One of the reasons she didn't care for the romper when it was hers was because she thought it was a bit too 'girlish' when she wanted to look 'womanly.' On Paulie, though... well, it made him look 'girlish' too and that was just fine with her. His slender legs were very well displayed by the wide, floppy legs of the romper and his arms, in fact his whole being, looked more youthful, playful and delicate in the garment. "Then it's yours, babe. Right, girls?"

They were enthusiastic in their agreement. Paul was a nice boy and they had always liked him, but it was so cool to dress a boy, an older boy, up like a pretty girl in their clothes.

When they were done, Paul had acquired six dresses, two rompers, four tops, three skirts, two pairs of shorts and a the skort from Lori's youngest sisters. He had enjoyed trying everything on and the enthusiasm of the younger girls made Paul delighted as well. He'd had a great time playing dress up and being one of the girls.

They arrived at Paul's house, just as Lilly was finishing grilling some salmon for dinner.

"Hi, mommy! It smells great in here!"

"Hi, ladies," Lilly teased, but then spotted her son's outfit. "Paulie! Where on earth did you get such a stunning romper? Why, it's absolutely precious!"

"Isn't it, Mrs Rooney?" Lori loved that Lilly's reaction was so supportive. "It was mine and I passed on to my sister, Meredith. She didn't care for it, though, so now, it's Paulie's."

"Give me a spin so I can see it, honey." He did and both women noticed how his shoulders rose playfully to his cheeks as spun on the balls of his right foot. "Oh, honey, that is just the most darling outfit on you."

"It's definitely his favorite, but he has a few more, too," Lori held up a bag full of clothing.

The fact that her son was happy to receive hand-me-downs from his girlfriend's sister who was more than five years younger than him amused Lilly a bit. It was so nice to see Paulie happy and pretty, again, though, but she decided to keep that observation to herself and just enjoy having him as her little girl as long as it lasted.

"Well, I have some goodies for you, too, Paulie. So, let's have our dinner, then get you all ready to fit into grandma's dress. We don't have an awful lot to do, tonight, but we want everything to be perfect for Saturday, so I need to make sure that everything fits perfectly."

They ate their salads and salmon and sipped their iced tea while discussing Lilly's purchases of the breast forms (they're as realistic as they make them), waist cincher (it's not overly fancy, just a Maidenform like mine. It'll do the job, just fine, though. You'll really only need it for grandma's dress. Most dresses and tops aren't as well defined as the fashions were back then), the shoes that she'd had dyed to match the just-slightly-ivoried shade of the dress (it was never perfectly white, but this way everything will look just wonderful) and the new, shorter petticoats that she'd purchased (I measured it and I got one that will fit perfectly. It will sit snuggly at the waist and end perfectly with the hem of the dress and, oh my goodness, it's just so pretty).

It would have been difficult to judge who was most excited by the prospect of getting Paul into that dress.

Lori thought it was the hottest thing she could think of.

Lilly thought that it would lead Paul to a life that was more appropriate for someone of his size and temperament.

Paul was just excited to be dressed so prettily. He had grown to desire the feel of all things feminine and that dress... well, it was just the most feminine thing he could imagine and to top it off, he'd look just like his wonderful grandmother. He couldn't wait to get dressed!

Just as they'd finished dinner and Lori had volunteered to load the dishwasher so that Lilly could get Paul ready, there was a knock on the door and Beth entered with a big smile on her face.

"Hi, all! Hey, Rooney, nice outfit. Love the lace. Its good to see that you're butching yourself up for the summer, huh?"

Everyone laughed.

"What are you doing here?" Lori asked. "I mean... I just didn't expect to see you tonight. We're fitting Paulie for his grandma's dress tonight."

"I know," Beth smiled. "That's why I'm here. I want to be sure that my new-best-girlfriend looks hot for Saturday morning."

"Ok, Paulie," Lilly pushed Paul towards the dinning room doorway, "we need to get you ready. Into the dinning room and I'll help you."

Lilly unbuttoned the back of the romper and guided it to the floor so Paul could step out of it. He stood in his panties and bra.

"Take off your bra, Paulie. I bought you a couple of new sets. You won't need a padded bra, now. The breast forms will fill the cups just fine."

He removed the bra and took a new one that his mother offered to him. The cups hung rather emptily from the front of his body and left him feeling a bit inadequate.

"Look at these, honey." Lilly held up a rectangular, pink box and pulled off the cover to reveal two, very realistic looking, women's breasts. Paul stared at them with a mix of horror and excitement. They looked SO REAL!!! As if they had been taken off of a real woman. The skin tone was natural and looked like his own. The nipples and areola looked natural and enticing. Suddenly, his own, immature body-structure made him feel wholly inadequate - not just as a man, but as a woman. He had a sudden longing to have the same breasts as everyone else in the house. It just seemed unfair that they all were so beautiful without even trying and he had to fake so many things just to look pretty.

His penis stirred and shriveled just a bit. It was the fear of trying these on and looking foolish as well as the excitement of wanting so badly to have them attached to his body - maybe permanently - that confused his manhood. He couldn't imagine ever losing his penis - in many ways, it was the center of his being, but, now that he'd seen these breasts, he couldn't imaging not having them attached to his body. He knew that they were silicon and pigment, but part of him felt that, if only he could have them attached to him, that he would be able to feel Lori's lips when she suckled him. He just knew how it would feel.

"Paulie?" Lilly asked, pulling him from his reverie, "did you hear what I said?"

Reluctantly, Paul pulled his attention from the box of breasts and looked at his mother dumbly. "What? What did you say?"

Lilly smiled. "I said that, according to Stacy, if we really want the breasts to look natural on Saturday, we should put them on with the adhesive tomorrow night, feather out the edges the way she showed me, so that they look perfectly natural, and then you can wear a bra for normal support. Just putting them into the cups, the way we will right now, will give us the right size, but they'll look a little saggy without being attached."

"Oh," Paul nodded his understanding. "Well, why don't we attach them, now? You know... just to see how they'll look."

Lilly smiled at his desperate need to still sound casual about wanting to be as female as possible.

"Because, Paulie, if we attach them, they'll need to stay on for a good long time before we take them off. If we put them on tomorrow afternoon, we can take them off again Sunday night without causing you any skin damage, but Stacy says that both the adhesive and the adhesive-remover can be damaging to your skin if you apply it and remove too quickly."

"So," Paul countered, "why not put them on today and keep them until Sunday?"

Lilly smiled. "Paulie, you already missed two days of school this week and I don't think going to school with breasts is necessarily the best idea, unless you're absolutely positive that this is something you want to do forever."

Paul nodded, disappointed. "Ok."

Lilly gently placed the prosthetics into his bra cups and helped him to adjust the straps. They definitely felt different. They had a heft to them and they moved more naturally than the bra-pads that he'd been wearing up to this point. He liked them a lot, but he couldn't wait to have them attached.

Next, Lilly handed him a matching panty. It was high waistlined, silky, lacy and, liken the bra, elaborately embroidered with flowers.

"This is a light-control panty, Paulie. I have another adhesive that we can use to hold your 'boys' in place on Saturday, if you want, but this will be helpful, too."

Paul lowered the panties he was wearing and stepped out of them without even considering turning his back to his mother. Then he pulled the stretchy material of the new pair up and into place. When they were properly situated, he reached in to them an tucked himself into place. Lilly watched, fascinated by how natural and casual all of this had become for him. He wasn't embarrassed or modest at all.

"And now, a little torture," Lilly smiled as she had Paul hold the waist nipper in place and she went about the job of connecting the long row of hooks and eyes that would hold it in place. It was worth it, though. When she was done, his shape was much more lady-like than it had been before.

"And finally," she held the breathtakingly pretty petticoat open and he stepped into it as she raised it up his legs and tied it behind his back. As she secured everything, Paul stepped into his silk-lined, opentoed shoes and shivered with excitement as he awaited the dress.

Lori was rinsing and Beth was loading the dishwasher as they waited for Lilly and Paul to come back.

"He's ok, then?" Beth asked as quietly as she could.

"Paulie?" Lori looked towards the dining room to be sure that no one was listening. "Yeah, I think he's better than ok."

"Meaning?"

"Well, I think he's decided to enjoy all of this for the time being. Whatever you said to him, Beth, seems to have been exactly the right thing. He's back to being my Paulie."

Beth nodded, then looked at her best friend appraisingly. "And what about you?"

"What about me? I'm just happy that he's ok."

Beth checked the door to the dinning room, too. "Ok, but... Lori, do you expect him to keep all of this up... I mean, what do you want from this? Are you looking to have him, like, go all the way? Become a girl? Like being altered, you know, down there? Or, maybe, dress part time, or... what? What are you getting out of this? - him dressing up like a girl?"

Lori wiped her hands and considered the question. "I don't know. I mean, I love Paulie - I mean, I really LOVE him and I want to, someday, be with him, you know, a family and all that - so I can't imagine him being a real girl, down there - but, Beth... there is something about seeing him in a dress that just... I don't know - it just drives me nuts."

"And if the dresses get put away?"

Lori smiled, "Then I'll have a beautiful portrait of 'my girl' to keep forever and I can remember how wondered it was to help him experience some time as a girl."

Beth nodded. "Ok, I guess. As long as you're both ok with it and no one forces anyone to be someone they aren't, ok.?"

"Beth, you don't think that I..."

Beth held a finger to her lips, "Shh. They'll hear. You know what I mean. If Paulie wants to wear a dress, then great, right?"

"Of course," Lori said.

"And if Paulie wants to wear jeans and a tee shirt and get all sweaty, then that's great, too, right?"

Lori smiled and nodded. "Yes, Beth, of course and thank you for being his guardian angel."

"Hey," Beth closed the door to the dishwasher, "I really like him and I really like you two together. Don't screw it up, ok?"

Lori nodded, then leaned a bit closed and she whispered, "Ok, but... can you tell me what happened at the country club?"

Beth sighed, folded her arms and looked at Lori with disappointment on her face.

When no answer came, Lori said, "Ok. I'm sorry that I asked."

Suddenly, Lilly appeared from the dinning-room and announced, "Moment of truth, ladies."

When Paul appeared, the girls just stared. The wide, scooped neck revealed soft, feminine skin and led to an enticing cleavage. From the shoulders to where the sleeve ended, just below his elbows, the fabric was covered in lace and little, pearled-glass beads that shone, even in this low light. The bodice was the same as the sleeves, but with his enhanced figure, it hugged him very sexily.

Where a woman's natural waist would be, the dress spread into layers and layers and layers of fluff and lace and more pearled-glass beads.

From below the delicate mass of petticoats and dress, two perfect, creamy, smooth legs descended to the open-toed, two inch heels. There was no way to describe the young lady before them other than to say that she was...

"Stunning. Just, stunning." It was Keith looking into the kitchen from the back door. He pulled the screen open and entered, but his gaze never left his little brother.

"Keith!?" Lilly and Paul both said.

"What are you doing here?" Lilly asked. She loved seeing him, but it was rare that he ever came by and, with the exception of yesterday, she couldn't remember the last time he came over without calling first. He usually wanted to be sure that he could run in and run out as quickly as possible.

"Nice to see you, too, mom." He smiled, kissed her cheek, then looked at Paul.

"I was going to ask my kid brother if he'd like to go grab an ice cream with me so we could talk for a little while, but it looks like I'd have to invite my little sister, instead."

"An ice cream?" Paul was literally astounded. This had never happened before.

Keith moved from his mother and kissed Paul on his cheek, leaving him standing still and stunned.

Finally, Paul gathered his wits enough to speak. "Wow, Keith, I'd love to say yes, but..." he indicated the dress, "mommy set aside tonight to do the final adjustments for Saturday."

"No problem. I'd just like to talk to you alone for a bit before I meet with Abby tomorrow."

"'Meet with Abby?'" Lilly was confused. "What do you mean, Keith? Is there something wrong between you and Abby?"

Keith glanced at Paul with a question on his face, but Paul only replied with a small, negative shake of his head.

"You didn't tell them?" Keith asked.

"Ummm..." Paul stalled. "Maybe we SHOULD go get some ice cream and talk a little. Can you wait until mommy is done with what she needs to do?"

Keith nodded, but Lilly jumped into the conversation. "Now, wait just a minute. What exactly is going on here? Paulie, do you have anything you'd like to tell me about Abby? Did she have anything to do with the country club? Keith, didn't you say something about pictures when you went upstairs yesterday? I want to know what is going on and I want to know, now!"

Keith and Paul looked at each other and the rest of them waited in silence, until Paul said, "Maybe we should all sit down."

He pulled out a kitchen chair and moved to sit in it, taking the time to smooth the multitude of material beneath him. Seeing his little brother maneuvering himself, Keith, instinctively, grabbed the back of Paul's chair and helped him by pushing his chair towards the table.

Paul smiled at the gallant gesture. No one else seemed to notice.

"Maybe we should go..." Beth started, but Paul interrupted.

"No. I want you all here with me." Paul crossed his legs daintily under the table and settled himself as straight backed as a princess holding court.

Keith, Lilly and Lori sat in kitchen chairs. Beth grabbed a step stool, pulled it towards the table and sat on it. Keith sat to Paul's left, Lilly across from Paul, Beth to Lilly's left and Lori to Paul's right.

Paul took Keith's right hand in his left and Lilly's left in his right. He smiled at them both, his pink-painted lips were shiny and cute. "Mommy. Keith. You know that I love you both, right?"

They both acknowledged that they did.

He looked at Lori and Beth, "Lori. Beth. You know that I love you both, too, right?"

They nodded and Lori rubbed Paul's arm.

"Ok, then. I am going to ask you all to indulge me." They waited for him to continue. Had any of them been capable of registering it, they would have noticed that Paul's body language - the way he kept his back straight, the way he used his eyes, the way he used his lips and voice, the way his shoulders remained straight as he occasionally leaned forward, the way his shoulders wiggled on occasion - they would have realized that there was no remnant of a boy sitting with them. There was just Paul: a small, pretty, suddenly confident young girl speaking to them.

"First, I want to thank you all for letting me work through everything that happened, yesterday." He smiled at everyone, but he didn't leave enough time for anyone else to say anything before continuing. "I was very upset - probably more upset than I should have been - and I blamed everyone else for how upset I was and that was wrong of me. I'm sorry."

Everyone tried to jump in to say that no apology was necessary, but, again, he remained in control.

"No. I'm sorry and I need to say that. Now, about the country club. Yes, Abby was involved, but that's between Abby and me or Abby and Keith and I don't think it would help anyone for us to be discussing it. I mean, we're not going to resolve anything by making Abby into a villain, so, let's just not do it, ok?"

They all looked at each other, surprised and confused by Paul's attitude. Lilly interrupted the silence, "Well, Paulie... if Abby hurt you then I'd like to know..."

"Mommy," Paul stopped her, "Abby only hurt me because I allowed her to hurt me. Beth helped me to understand that. Now, I'd like that to be the end of the discussion. If anything should come out of what happened this week it should be that 1) I learned that no one can hurt me unless I let them, 2) No matter what, there are a lot of people who love me, 3) I have a big brother again and he loves me, too, and 4) I can be whoever or whatever I want as long as I have the courage to be whoever or whatever I want to be. As I see it, as bad as things got, it was all for the best. So, no more discussions about Abby, ok?"

Lilly was amazed. Where did all this wisdom come from. Just as that thought passed through her consciousness, Paul released her hand and reached to Beth and gave her hand a squeeze and he smiled at her. Beth? All of that came from Beth? Good God, she felt so disconnected from, yet proud of Paul at the moment. There was a lot to this child. She needed to get to know him much better.

"Ok, Paulie," Lori put her arm around his shoulder. The soft material and beads of his grandmother's dress felt odd and delicate against her fingers. "Whatever you want is fine with us, right?"

Everyone agreed.

Paul laid his head on Lori's shoulder for a moment. "Now, if it's ok with you guys, I'd really like to finish whatever we need to do so I can take my brother up on his offer of an ice cream. Mommy, what do we need to do?"

Lilly sniffled back a tear as she said, "Not much, really. Come with me," she stood and took Paul's hand, helping him to his feet, "and stand on the platform in the dinning room. Let me just check everything out, then I'll let you go out with Keith. Lori, while they're gone, I'll work with you on your prom gown, ok?"

"Sure, that's great, Mrs Rooney!" Lori smiled.

Paul and Lilly disappeared leaving the awkward circle of Lori, Beth and Keith at the table.

"So," Keith tried to get a conversation going, "Lori, you and Paul have been together a while, now. Are things going well for you two?"

Lori nodded, but before she could respond, Beth asked, "Umm, yeah, Keith, where have you been all of Paulie's life?"

Keith was taken aback for a moment, "Well, Beth - it is Beth, right? - I've been right here. I am Paul's brother, you know."

"Yeah," she persisted, "then how come I've been around here since October and I didn't even know you existed until yesterday?"

Keith smiled at her abrasive protectiveness. "Cause I've been a pretty sad excuse for a brother, I guess. Thank you for pointing that out."

"Huh," was Beth's reply.

"And now...?" Lori asked.

He considered that for a moment. "And now... I'm trying to be a better brother."

"Good," Beth leaned back on her stool, folded her arms and glowered.

Keith smiled at the two, young mother hens.

Lilly inspected every inch of the dress, making sure that the beads were attached and the seams were all tight. She fluffed the skirts and smiled as she looked at her beautiful boy.

"Does it feel ok, honey?"

Paul smiled and shook his head. "Mommy, it feels glorious. This is the most exciting thing I have ever worn. I wish I could wear it everyday. I hope that grandma likes the picture."

"She'll adore it, honey. I promise." She inspected the dress once again, then asked, "Why did you say it was an 'exciting' dress, Paulie?"

"I don't know... I guess I'm just excited to wear it. It's just so... gorgeous. The way it hugs me up here... the way it flows around me down here... the way the beads sparkle and... oh, I just don't know. It makes me feel so... pretty..."

Lilly smiled. "You're miles beyond pretty in that dress, Paulie. You are truly beautiful. You hold yourself so beautifully when you wear it... oh, sweetheart, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were raised in dresses. You do like it, then?"

Paul kissed her cheek, then turned and held his hair to the side so she could unbutton the dress for him. "Mommy, to tell you the truth, I adore it and almost everything about all the clothes I've worn this week."

She lowered the dress and he stepped out. She hung it on a hanger and started untying the back of the petticoat. "And after Saturday? What will you do, then?"

Paul shrugged as he contemplated the breasts that were held to his chest. "I still don't know, mommy. I just know that I love doing this, now."

She lowered the petticoat and he stepped out of that as well. "Do you want some jeans to wear to get ice cream with Keith?"

Paul smiled. "Absolutely not! I'm wearing my new romper. Keith said he wants to take out his little sister, well, his little sister is going to go get ice cream with him."

"Ok." Lilly smiled and shrugged her shoulder. "Let's get you dressed, then"

Keith put his arm around Paul's waist and both of them, once again, marveled at their size difference as they headed to his car.

"Let me get that for you," Keith said as he, due to years of experience, opened the passenger door for the young lady he was escorting out for an ice cream.

Paul's smile was huge and sincere. "Thank you." He sat in the car, fastened his seat belt and waited for Keith to enter through the driver's door.

"What do you feel like, Paulie? The Dairy Bar? Dairy Queen? Friendly's? What sounds good?"

"Why don't we go to the drive through at Dairy Queen. I'm not sure I'm ready to see everyone at The Dairy Bar or Friendly's just at this minute."

"Really?" Keith seemed surprised.

"Yeah. Why did you ask it like that."

"Well," Keith shrugged, "I was just hoping that I could show off my beautiful, new, little sister, is all."

"Ok, ok," Paul pushed on Keith's shoulder the same way that he did to Lori when she teased him about something, but Keith didn't budge - not even a fraction of an inch. He was rock solid. "You can be honest with me." He indicated the way he appeared. "Does this bother you?"

Keith was genuinely hurt by the question. "Paulie. I'm being 100% honest with you and I want you to believe what I'm saying. I love you and I support you, no matter what. I think that you look adorable in that... dress or whatever. If we did go into a restaurant, you'd be the prettiest girl there, and I could not be happier to spend time with my little sister."

Paul blushed and smiled. "Well, enjoy her while you can. She may not be around much longer."

"Really? Why?"

Paul shrugged. "I don't know. She might go back to being your kid brother after this weekend."

"Huh," Keith looked at his brother. "Paulie, you know I will support whatever you do, but, damn, buddy... you look as cute as can be as a girl."

They both laughed at how awkwardly and sincerely Keith has said that sentence.

"You know what I mean, right?"

Paul smiled again. He had always wanted to spend time with Keith and this was a great start. He wondered if it could continue if Keith reunited with Abby.

Keith seemed to feel the same way. He was smiling the whole time and he'd always seemed so serious around Paul in the past. Almost like Paul was a nuisance. Paul had never understood why, but it always seemed as if he annoyed Keith.

"So," Keith began slowly, "to address the elephant in the room... you know that I'm getting together with a Abby tomorrow, right?"

"I do," Paul nodded.

"And..."

"And... What?" Paul lingered, not knowing what was expected of him.

"Well, if things go well... what do you think?l

"Are you asking me if you should get back together with Abby?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. What do you think?"

Paul shrugged. "Do you love her?"

"Yes, I do... or at least I thought I did before she did what she did to you. I really don't know for certain, now."

"Well, Keith... I mean, come on, families are mean and horrible to each other all the time and... yeah, Abby was mean to me, but I'm over it and over whatever she thinks of me. So, if you love her, then you make your own decision. If you decide to stay with her, I'll be happy for you and know that you made the right decision. If you decide to wait, or go your separate ways, then I'll be with you to help you through it, but if you break up just because of me, I'll feel terrible about it." He took his bother's big hand in his smaller one and gave it a squeeze. "Do what's right for you, Keith, and I'll be happy for you."

Keith smiled at the small, frail 'girl' beside him, shook his hand loose and pulled Paul close, leaned over, kissed the top of his and rubbed his bare arm. "Damnit, Paulie. You are one of kind. Thanks, pal."

They pulled out of the drive through with root beer floats for both of them, and Keith drove to the beach parking lot. It was still early in the season, so only a few people were hanging about. The ocean in the twilight glowed a soft orange as they walked to the swings and sat to enjoy the warm evening and the cool treats.

"You know," Keith said with a touch of embarrassment in his voice, "I really should have asked you to be one of my ushers for the wedding. I'm sorry."

"Why?" Paul swallowed a sip of his root beer. "Like you said, we barely know each other. You should have your friends there with you."

"No. I should have thought of my family, Paulie. I don't know why, but I keep wondering how my life got so off track and I wonder if things would have been different if Dad was still here."

"Keith, you've got a great job, you make good money, you have friends and, who knows, maybe you still have a fiancé. You're doing great."

He smiled as he turned the swing seat to look at his brother. "You're a good kid, Paulie. I do love you, you know. I'm just not very good at showing it, I guess."

"You're doing great, Keith. I love you, too." His smile bordered on maternal.

Keith smiled, sadly. "It's just that you and mom, Paulie... you guys have always been like a team. Like Dad and I were, but... Paulie, do you remember Dad at all."

"Sure I do. I remember how he looked. And how smelled. And the way he'd rub his stubble against my cheek in the morning to make me scream."

They both snickered at that.

"I remember watching him watch you play baseball and football when you were in high school. I remember seeing the pride in his eyes and I wanted him to be proud of me like that, too. I remember a lot about him."

The older brother nodded and his tongue moved in his mouth before he spoke. "Paulie... did you know that he cheated on mom?"

Paul stopped swaying on the swing and turned to fully face his brother.

"What? How do you know?"

"I knew before he died. I heard him and mom yelling at each other one night and the next day, when he'd had a few beers and was feeling sorry for himself, he told me."

"Wow. I never knew about that."

"The thing is, Paulie... I didn't do anything about it. I didn't hit him. I didn't comfort mom. I just didn't do anything except think about how it impacted me."

Paul just listened.

"Why didn't I help mom when I found out? Why didn't I try to comfort her? Why did I just start shutting out my family? What kind of a person just... shuts out the people who love him?"

"I don't know. You were only a kid, Keith."

"I was your age, Paulie. I see how thoughtful and considerate you and your friends are and I wonder why I'm such a piece of shit to my family. I let mom down, I let you down... Geez, Paulie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you all this." He stood and turned his back to his brother. "See! That's exactly what I mean. I came to help you and all I can do is go on about my problems."

He walked to the short, wooden wall that separated the playground from the beach. He put his hand in his pockets and looked out at the ocean, his back still to Paul."

Soon, Paul had slipped his head under his brother's arm and hugged him around the lower torso.

"I love you, Keith."

Keith pulled him tightly to his side and Paul realized that his brother had turned his back to avoid having Paul see him cry. He wiped a few tears from his eyes before smiling down at Paul.

"Thank you for telling me, Keith."

Keith let out a sardonic snicker. "I really am sorry, Paulie. I didn't mean to unload on you."

"It's ok. That's why I'm here. Really. I didn't even know that you were hurting, Keith. I want to help if I can."

They both watched the waves wash gently onto the sand.

"Paulie... I'm kind of scared."

Paul waited, but Keith remained silent.

"There's nothing to be scared of, Keith."

"Yeah, there is." Keith chocked back his emotions. "I'm scared of losing you and mom. I wouldn't blame either of you if you decided to shut me out."

His eyes showed so much sadness that Paul's heart broke with empathy.

"I'm scared of losing Abby and being alone, too. I've been ignoring my feelings all of my life, Paulie, but when I thought that you were hurt, I mean REALLY hurt, because of me... all of those feelings kind of came avalanching down on me and now, I can't seem to ignore them any more."

Paul looked up from under Keith's arm. He didn't know what to say.

"Do you think I can ever make all of this up to mom?"

Finally, Paul did know what to say. "No. You can't, because she doesn't even know that there's a problem. She loves you, Keith, and she never needs to know. Just... come back to her. Talk to her and tell her you love her. Tell her the way you've been telling me for the last few days. I can't tell you how good that feels. She loves you. She'll love to have you back in her life."

He nodded his head and nodded sadly. "What about Abby?"

Paul hugged him again before he released him. "You'll figure that out. You're a smart guy."

"You're just like mom, you know?"

Paul smiled. "That's just about the nicest thing you could say to me."

"No. I mean it. I'm like Dad - I never see what I have until I've hurt it somehow. You're just like mom - your heart is open and filled with love. I envy you."

Keith bent and kissed his brother's forehead. "You're ok, Paulie. You're ok." Then, without warning, he picked up the smaller boy and ran to the water's edge, pretending to throw him into the cold water, as Paul screamed his protests.

"Keith! No! My hair! My clothes! Mommy will kill us!"

Eventually, they were both breathless with laughter and he put Paul down with his feet in the wet sand where a wave had just retreated back to the ocean. They took each other's hands and walked back to the car, the tall, broad man in dress pants and an Oxford shirt and the small, delicate boy in the pretty romper and bare feet - both feeling different. Both feeling like family.
 
 
To Be Continued...