Pete's Vagina -53.2- Snap

“It’s like the end of some detective show, isn’t it?”

petea-and-lee.jpg
Pete's Vagina
53.2 Snap
by Erin Halfelven

Lee and I pretended not to have heard Coach’s question, made easier by Mrs. Frick answering one I hadn’t had time to ask yet.
 
“It’s like the end of some detective show, isn’t it?” She laughed. “A bunch of people get together in a room and explain the plot to each other.”
 
“Oh, good,” I said. “Colonel Mustard in the Library with a Candlestick.”
 
Everyone laughed at that — even Yoodle, who came out from under the couch to push his way in between Lee’s legs, his tail wagging in a doggie grin.
 
Lee gave my fingers a squeeze, which seemed oddly reassuring.
 
Mrs. Frick picked up smoothly after the laughter. “We have something extraordinary going on here in Friendly,” she announced. “Nationally important, too.”
 
“Uh, oh,” I muttered.
 
“Our very own Gayle Petersen is the first female athlete in the country to play a regular offensive position on a high school Boys’ Varsity football team!”
 
“Defense, too,” Coach put in. Then he stuffed another of the cheesy snacks from the coffee table into his mouth and started to clap!
 
The others joined in, making it seem even more awkward that Lee and I were still holding hands. I rolled my eyes and turned to glance at Lee, who was looking back — a little too fondly, maybe. If he winks at me, I’m going to slug him, I told myself.
 
“Brava, brava!” Mr. Grijalvo added as the applause faded out.
 
Like a pro, Mrs. Frick recovered the initiative and ran with it. “Nationally important,” she said again. “People outside of Friendly need to know what you’ve accomplished, Gayle.” And damned if they didn’t start clapping again.
 
I resisted correcting her that my name was Gaylen, with an ’n’, and just shrugged. Maybe I would have tugged at my forelock, if I’d known where that appendage hid out.
 
Then everyone started talking at once, except Lee and me. Yoodle yapped, and Coach sprayed cracker crumbs while they mentioned press releases and television interviews. My face turned eight shades of red, and I tried pulling Lee toward the door, but he wasn’t moving.
 
“It’s Halloween this week,” someone observed.
 
“I have it from a good source,” said Maggie, the reporter, “that Pete is going to be going to school that Friday dressed as a cheerleader!” More laughter and applause — and some outlandish suggestions.
 
I liked it better when only Jake, Megan, Joanna and I knew I was a girl!
 
And speaking of Joanna — reliable source, my ass! I leaned a bit toward Lee and whispered, “I’m going to kill Joanna. You can help me hide the body.”


Read ahead on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/109695119



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