“Do you know how totally weird it is that you have a boyfriend?”

Pete's Vagina
66. Bleachers
by Erin Halfelven

Turns out cheerleader practice can get pretty hard, what with running and screaming and learning the cheers. And dancing! Moving with the music from Coach Debbie’s portable stereo was fun, but not something I could really remember doing before. It wasn’t the kind of dancing you do in the gym with some garage band playing Funkytown.

They say that you should dance like no one is watching, but in cheer dancing, the idea is that everyone is watching — and you want them to. Took me a bit to get into the what-the-heck attitude this requires, bouncing around, waving the paper string pompoms and screaming nonsense.

But at least no one was trying to push my face into the grass.

We were taking a break, drinking water and sitting on the bleachers, watching the boys at the other end of the field doing their thing. Megan, sitting beside me a bit apart from the other girls, nodded toward where Coach Wilson was running the guys through drills. “You wishing you were with them?” she asked.

“Nah,” I said. “At least, not for today.” I took another swig of water. “Monday drills are always boring. This has really been kind of fun.”

“Somebody’s waving at you,” she pointed out.

I looked. “It’s Lee,” I said, standing up and waving back. He’s coming this way.”

“Do you know how totally weird it is that you have a boyfriend?”

I laughed. “Yeah, it is weird. But when you decided we weren’t a pair anymore, Lee was right there.”

Megan laughed, too. “Yeah, so I was right. We were kind of still together out of inertia. I could tell you really wanted to explore what being a girl was about. When we were around boys…. Well….”

For some reason I remembered Megan’s brother Travis wearing saxophones on his boxers. “Um,” I said, not wanting to admit anything. I glanced sideways at her….

Then we were hugging, our faces in each others’ hair. “I still love you,” I whispered fiercely.

“And I love you,” she said. “That’s why I had to let go.”

“Uh-huh,” I murmured. “It hurt for you to push me away.”

“It did,” she said. “But you landed on your feet.”

We broke our hug to look up. Lee had altered direction and was heading toward Coach Debbie.

Megan and I exchanged glances and broke into giggles. I swear, being a girl is fun now, where at first it had seemed like getting a life sentence of embarrassment and confusion. Maybe it’s both.

* * *

Lee wanted to film some of our cheer practice — because, of course, he did. His Mom’s plans for Friday night and after would benefit from more footage of the lead-up to the big show.

I rolled my eyes at him, and he blushed. This inspired more giggles, and for some little while, Lee was the center of attention of all the girls.

This was combined practice for all the squads — Varsity, JV and Frosh — so there were about twenty girls mobbing him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Jealous? Maybe. But also amused. Lee isn’t super-shy or anything, but I don’t think he expected the reactions he got when he said he wanted to film our cheering.

I decided to go rescue him. If I walked up and put an arm around him, the other girls would respect that — maybe.

* * *

Later, I trudged back to where I had parked my car. Megan and Gogo were ahead of me, heading for his car ‘cause they intended to buy a bag of burgers and take them to her house to treat her brothers and sisters. Gogo was a good guy, and I was glad Megan had agreed to go on a sort of non-date date with him. Maybe things would work out with them.

When I reached the Varsity parking lot, I saw that Lee’s van had pulled into a space a few down from where Baby Blue rested. I’d kind of not gotten the real chance to show off my new car that I had wanted, but it didn’t seem too important. Lee stood near the back corner of his van, and I headed toward him.

It had gotten dark, like it does in late October in the mountains, suddenly close to the ground, with dramatic clouds above still lit by the out-of-sight sun. I stepped close to Lee, and he pulled me into a hug.

“I told you I could give you a ride to your car,” he murmured.

I put my arms around him and linked my hands behind his back, and we swayed a bit together. He shifted his weight on his uneven shoes, and I held him tighter.

“I’m tired,” I said.

“Mmm, hmm,” he hummed into my hair.

It was nice resting my body against him. I turned my face up. “Are we going to kiss?” I asked him.

The answer turned out to be yes.

* * *

I made it home before dinnertime at seven, after agreeing that Lee could pick me up in the morning for a ride to school. It was silly to just want to drive my own car because if I didn’t, it would make it easier for us to go somewhere with the other kids after practice — which would be football practice again on Tuesday.

I loved playing football, but being a cheerleader for a few hours had been fun. I actually wondered for a few moments why I had resisted doing so for so long.

Oh, yeah. Boy, I know I’m tired when I forget I haven’t always been a girl.

I smiled, going into the house and smelling something good. Mom and Jordan usually make a big pot of something on Monday, chili or stew or something. I get out of a lot of cooking and housework because of playing football. Or maybe just because I’m such a tomboy and keep my resistance up.

Dad was in the living room watching some pregame show when I came in the front door. He grinned at me, and on impulse, I walked up behind him and gave him a kiss on his bald spot. “Thanks again for the car, Daddy!” I said.

“You’re welcome again, sugarboots,” he replied.

I once said my new boots were ’sweet’ when I was nine, and since then, he’s called me that nickname. Or maybe he hasn’t, and I just remember it that way now? And when did I start calling him ‘Daddy’ again? Because I kind of remembered that I had stopped about the same time I got those boots. The same boots?

Whatever. Maybe Mom has made cornbread to go with the chili.