Captured - Part 1

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This story is not intended to vilify nice decent TVs or TGs --
it just so happens that the principal is deranged and happens to cross dress.
This is a nasty, misogynistic story. Avoid it if you are sensitive or under eighteen.

He had been searching for a victim. He wanted a wife and a sex slave.
Yes, he thought a victim might become a wife and love him.
Captured
Part One

By Janet Baker

Captured  ©2009 Janet Baker

 


 
How about this one? Hmmm. She’s petite, about five feet tall, perhaps 90-95 pounds, easy to handle. I could pick her up with one arm. I’d have to chuck my purse into the van first. Yeah. Now, follow her, discretely. Is she married, children? Don’t want a mother. Single is best. Check out her ring finger. Is she buying baby stuff? No. Good.

Finally success. After months of prowling likely spots to find and pick up a girl I found a prospect. Not sure whether I do better dressed or drab. Ironic. A crossdresser trying to grab a girl for his entertainment. Oh well.

What time is it? Six-fifteen. She’s been here about fifteen minutes. Ok, arrived about six. She’s dressed for business. Gray suit, white blouse, not see through, beige stockings, three inch black leather sling backs, pearls. Ah! Gucci handbag. Very nice! Now! Does she shop here regularly or is this a one time stop? It’s Friday, payday. Maybe this is her regular stop. I’ll return next Friday to determine her pattern.

She’s still shopping. I must check out now. Go to my van, watch, binoculars, spot her vehicle. Try to photograph it.

There she comes! Stopping at that blue job. Ah ha! She lifts the gate in the rear to load groceries. Perfect! But I must park beside her. It may take weeks. I must be beside her.
It’s dark but there are parking lot lights. Hope she has to park away from the store.
First things first. Is this a regular visit.

Must prepare the van for ‘occupancy’, cuffs chained to floor for wrists and ankles, chain for neck, mattress, blanket to cover her. Chloroform, pad, OK. Blindfold! She must not see me until later, maybe. Not sure. Eventually release her or… Not sure. Depends…

What a rush! The power I’ll have over her! The fear I’ll see in her eyes when I finally remove her blindfold and she sees me in mask. Hmmm. What kind of mask? Ordinary or frightening! Yeah, frightening, I want to see the terror in her face. I want to listen to those screams -- the pleadings -- music to my ears. Wait ‘till I show her that three inch thick black dildo. God will she scream! I’ll pull her legs apart ’till she screams -- ‘till she almost splits -- almost. I’ll put the blindfold back on. She’ll be in terror of the unseen. She’ll plead, I’ll ignore her. I’ll continue to be silent.

Then! I’ll fuck her! I’ll drive it in -- hard -- hard and fast -- without warning -- without warming. She’ll scream, plead, beg. I’ll slam it harder… she’ll scream louder. Oh God, I’m going to cum!

Oh my! Back to earth. There she goes. Should I follow? If she lives nearby maybe I could take her from her home if she lives alone. Here we go. Damn! She made the light.

I’m stuck. Maybe next time. I’ll go home, see if UPS has delivered the bondage toy order and my clothing order. Those specialized restraints are so hot. She is going to give me years of pleasure. She’ll never escape. I’ve thought this through thoroughly. No mistakes. Not like that dumb schmuck who grabbed his girl, raped her and tied her while he tried to get rid of her car. He tied her so badly she escaped, ran down the street naked and now he is in the slam. Not for me! Chains, locks, cuffs, irons. Once I get her, she’ll never -- never escape -- escape my tender application of judicious pain. Pain applied to convince her that loving me is preferable to continued increase in pain level. My electrical equipment is ready. Once I get her, I’ll get her sizes and buy clothes for her -- clothes that I like. Half bras. Yeah half bras so her nipples will show. I’ve got to learn how to pierce her nipples for rings. I’ll hang bells from the rings. Oh will she scream when I pierce her nips. I won’t use anesthetic. I want to hear her scream. I will put a bit gag on her to prevent her from biting her tongue. She’ll wear ballet boots -- always -- her feet will adjust, her legs, ankles will adjust. As she does the ballet strut her nipple bells will tinkle merrily. Oh Christ! I’m going to cum again!

Friday again, six o’clock, will she show? Watch the entry road. It’s been weeks. She’s been here but I couldn’t park near her. Shit. This could take forever. Be patient. She’ll be worth it. There are two entries but I can’t watch both. Six-05. Ahha! A blue SUV. Hers? Watch closely. I’ll follow. Maybe tonight! Oh shit, she’s parked between two other cars. I’ll wait. Maybe one of the others will leave. Is it she? Not sure. Possibly. I’ll wait for a while. The slot is most important. Once I’m parked I’ll go into the store and look for her. Tonight might work. I’m dressed right. Slacks, dark wig, knit top, Mary Jane flats, fake glasses. I can’t risk any clothing interference when I grab her. Oh boy, that car next to hers is moving. I’ll grab that spot. Check the remote side door opener. OK. Works. Check chloroform. OK. Now. Go into store, confirm. Purchases? No. Take cart. Mustn’t look suspicious. Where is she? Next aisle? No. Next? No. Ah there she is! Yes! It is she! My love, my future bride, my sex slave! I can see her now, festooned with chains, gagged, arms pinioned behind her, tits sticking out. God, I’m getting a hard on.
Focus. Focus! No mistakes. Your life depends on control. No mistakes. Buy something. Checkout. Go to van, load purchases. Leave purse in car. Ready chloroform pad, leave car door ajar. Lights are off. I pulled the bulbs out. Try sliding door again -- open -- close. Perfect. Slide down in seat. Watch for her. Here she comes! Now or never!

She’s stopping her cart, opening her rear gate. Loading her shit. Pour chloro onto pad. Quiet now, slide out of seat, out of van. See her through van windows. Walking around van. Grab her, hold pad to face! She struggles. I’m stronger. No noise. Look around.
Don’t see anyone. Push remote button. Door opens. Carrying her into van. Close door. Look around. Anyone? No! Cuff her! Right wrist, tight. Left wrist, tight. Turn, cuff her ankles, tight. Now her neck chain. Tightly but not too tight around her neck. Lock it.
Now her waist. Straps only. Tight, very tight. No gag yet, she may vomit when she revives. Where’s her purse? Must find it! In her cart? Yeah! Quick. Back to the van. No one has seen me… I think. I’ll start to drive. Carefully, don’t get nervous! No mistakes. Observe all traffic regs, must not get stopped. A long drive to home. Be careful! I did it! I did it! I got her! I’m ready to cum again. Wait, wait for home. Listen for girl.

There’s that abandoned gas station. Stop. Open her purse, wallet. Her name is Sue, she’s twenty-two. Check her. Is she breathing? Yes. She’s OK… I think. Strap the blindfold onto her. It’s special. Completely covers her eyes. Bring straps around back of head then around neck then around neck again to back of neck then buckle and lock. Good! That’s done. She can’t see now.

OK! Let’s go now! Careful! Don’t attract attention. Home soon. She’s waking, mumbling, crying.

“Where am I? What’s happening? I can’t see! Please! Say something! Who are you? Where am I? Please!”

Remain quiet. Increases terror, hopelessness. Stop along road for more chloroform. I don’t want her awake until she’s in my ‘guest room’. Some guest room! Stocks, bondage bed, suspension chains, electric stuff, whips, even a steel cage. Bath, bathing facilities. I could even waterboard her if she doesn‘t cooperate.

Soon she’ll love me! Soon she’ll be a good and submissive playmate. I’ll stretch her cunt, I’ll stretch her ass, I’ll impale her on that enormous dildo and make her suck me off. Damn it, I’m going to cum in my panties. Oooo that was good! Careful! You can’t drive during orgasms, you’ll fuck up. Watch what you’re doing, stupid. This is too important to fuck up. Half hour to go.

Almost home, there it is, the entry, restricted, with alarms and cameras. Into the garage.
Open side door. Is she awake? No, not yet. Put the waist chain on her, lock it. Cuffs are already attached. Take her right arm, uncuff her wrist, bring arm around to back and recuff wrist to waist cuffs. Now her left. She’s stirring, waking. Roll her over, gag her.
Seat her in rolling chair, roll her into her new home. Leave her in chair, put steel collar on her, lock it, chain it to post. Ungag her, she can’t be heard now and leave. Turn closed circuit cameras on. Watch from living room. Watch her squirm and plead wondering what will happen. I have to jack-off again.

Turn recorders on, must have a record, burn a disk, watch monitor. How’s she doing?
She’s waking more… realizes she’s cuffed… pulling at her chained cuffs… resting, moving her head.

“Please! Please! Is anyone here! Please! Please! Answer me please!”

Remain silent. The fear, the terror will increase.

“Oh God, please answer me, I don’t feel well. Where am I?”

Silence. I stroke my cock through my satin panties. Oh God, what a rush! I have her! She’s mine… mine… all mine. I have to cum again! Leave her, let her sit for an hour.
I have to decide the next move. Don’t be impatient. I have all the time in the world.
Will she resist? I hope so. Forcing her will be so much fun. I’ll undress her to her bra
and heels. I’ll strap her arms at her elbows and bend her over the bar, chain her neck in position, spread her legs and wait. The wait will frighten her. Her neck held like that will be tiring and then painful. I’ll wait ‘till she cries then whip her ass… once. Then I’ll breathe heavily near her. I’ll wait ‘till she needs to pee. As scared as she is, she’ll have to pee soon. Yup….

“Hey, out there. Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me? I need to pee. Please! Please!”

I go into the room, quietly. Unhook her collar, put leg irons on her, pull her upright, lead her to toilet, pull her panties down, sit her, say nothing. Wait for her to pee… spread her legs and wipe her.

“Please! Thank you. Please, who are you! Why am I here? I’m only a secretary, I have no company secrets, no money. Please, let me see, let me go. I want to go home, my mother will be worried.”

Cute gambit, only a secretary. Lead her to a pole, chain her collar to the pole, leave her for an hour. I’m exhausted! What a night! Must do something with her, then sleep.

What?

Fuck her? No, not yet, that would be too soon. I want to increase the terror. Nipple clamps? Whip? Nooo, I think that I’ll play some loud flogging tape with lots of screaming. She won’t know if it’s real or taped.

“Please, I can’t stand any longer, I’ll choke. Please! Help me! Help! Help!”

OK, I can help her. Ropes through her crotch will take the load off her feet. Yeah, I like that. OK girly, rope around waist, loop it through crotch, pull it up, tie it to hanging chain, winch the chain up slowly, watch the rope bite into her cunt, pulling her up, up, up. She’s squealing now, it must hurt. Good! Leave it like that.

“Yeoow weow weow! Please… please… it hurts.”

I’m tempted to play with her tits. Better not. Must continue terrorizing her. She’s hurting but it won’t kill her. I’ll whack her once when she next squeals and I’ll growl ‘shut up girl’. Winch her up one more click. Should make her howl again.

“Yeoow weow weow! Please… please… it hurts.”

I was right. Now! “Shut up girl.” Whack!!!

“Waooow. Please stop. Please! No more! What do you want!”

“Hee hee hee.” Now silence. Leave her. Go jack off again. Come back at midnight, put her in bed, go to bed. Tomorrow is Saturday, no work ‘till Monday. What a weekend I’ll have! I can’t wait!

Bedtime. Go get her. She doesn’t look so hot, head hanging, tears. Lower her, unchain her from pole, walk her over to bed. Sit her down, take her shoe off, what size? Can’t tell. Bra? Size? Panties? Size? Dress? Size? Get paper, pencil.

“Girl! Sizes. Shoe? Bra? Panties? Dress?”

“Why?”

“Dress or stay naked.”

“Alright.”

Writing down sizes. Silent. Push her down on bed. Chain collar to wall.

“Sleep.”

She is quiet, terrified, shaking. Good! I want her frightened. Too frightened to resist. Can’t wait to get started. Must be patient, methodical. But if she resists I’ll have the fun of forcing her. Yeah, I’ll secure her with her collar leaving her arms and legs loose so she can fight me. I’ll strip her clothes off, get on top of her, hold her arms. Then…

“Help! Help! I have to pee! Is anyone there?”

Walking in, I unfasten the chain from the wall, pull her upright, lead her to the toilet. Help her sit, she’s still blindfolded. She pees, she wipes, take her back to the bed.
Put her on the bed, chain the collar to the wall. I get down between her legs. She tenses.

“Please! Don’t! Please! Please don’t hurt me!”

I don’t speak, I grunt, growl. Grab a wrist, cuff it to her waist. Now the other one. She’s pushing me away. I’ll roll her over, play with her tits. I’ll squeeze her nips. Oh! Nice scream! Squeeze harder! Ooooh! That was much better.

“Please! Please! That hurt! You hurt me! Please don’t! What do you want of me?”

Say nothing, drag her to the pole, link collar to pole, make her face pole. Take her wrists, cuff them to cuffs up on the pole. Put leg irons on, wrapping around pole, she can’t kick now. Put nip clamps on, chain around pole. Pull her back from pole. It hurts.

“Please! It hurts! What do you want? I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt me.”

Remain silent. Pull clamps off. Oooo! Nice yelp!

“That hurts, please don’t!”

Now! Two whacks with the whip. Right on her butt.

“Arghhh, eeee owww!”

Lube fingers, stick ‘em in her ass. Quick.

“Eyoupe! Ooooo, oooo… oo…”

By George, I think she liked it! She really squeezed her sphincter. I’ll diddle her clit with my other hand. No response. She’s just not happy. I wonder why. Tomorrow we’ll try cock… or dildo. Yeah, stretch her on bed, shove bigger and bigger dildos in her cunt. In a few days I’ll strap her to the bondage bench and ram the dildo into her ass then fuck her cunt. Oh shit, I have to jack-off. Time to sleep.

Saturday morning….

Shave, shower, dress femme for shopping, need food, check on girl. She has no clothes except what I didn’t wreck pulling them off her. She does have panties, bra, shoes. Her blouse is a mess, skirt and jacket are OK but I don’t want them on her. I want to get some sexy stuff for her. I’ll hit the mall and get some panties, bras, stockings. Maybe a pair of shoes then Fredericks for half and pushup bras. Hey, Fredericks for some good heels. Yeah. Then I’ll order some fetish shoes online. I have her sizes now. She’s really petite, I’m going to have to do some shopping for her.

Enter her abode, hate to call it a dungeon. She stirs, sits up, hears me. She calls out.

“Hello! Hey! Who is it there! I hear you! I’m hungry, thirsty. Please!”

I unchain her from the wall, pull her over to the toilet, sit her.

“I don’t want to pee! I want to eat!”

“Come.”

I pull her upright, bend her over bondage table, cuff her elbows together. Hurts. She squeals. Oooo, I like it. I lead her to kitchen, seat her at table, cuff ankles to chair legs, lock neck chain to chair back. Prepare cereal for her, coffee.

“Coffee?”

“Yes please.”

“Cereal?”

“Yes, please.”

I pour coffee, hold it to her lips, she sips. I spoon the cereal to her, she eats ravenously.
She empties bowl, finishes coffee.

“Thank you. But please, talk to me, take off my blindfold.”

I squeeze her nips in reply.

“Yeow, please stop, you’re hurting me.”

“Think… girl, I’m going to pierce your nipples and put rings in them”, I growled.

A scream, then, “Oh no! please don’t do that. it’ll hurt, it’ll stop me from nursing!”

“Ha!“ Nursing babies is the least of her worries. I continue to fondle her breasts. They are very nice, round, firm, perky, what you’d expect from a young woman. H’m, her nips are beginning to firm up. In spite of herself she is beginning to react to the stimulus. I’ll pinch again. She yelps, squirms. I unchain her from the chair, pull her upright, lead her back to her bedroom. Yeah, some bedroom. Bondage cross, bondage bed, cage, good stuff. What a joke! What next girl? Think! First, do shopping run then… play time!

Shopping was no problem, got lots of stuff, sexy clothes, shoes, groceries. Computer time now, I’ll bring girl with me, play with her tits while I’m on the ‘puter. Reminds me of Nazi in Lyon who fondled his girl while his prisoner was being tortured. I’ll unchain her, make her dress.

“Girl, dress. This bra, panties, shoes.”

“I can’t see.”

“I’ll help.” I hand her panties. I put bra on her, playing with tits. I put shoes on her.
“Come.”

I get behind her, hold her breast with one hand, cunt with other, rub my cock against her ass. Pinch nipple. She squeals.

“Please! That hurts.

“Get used to it!” I fondle both her breasts as we walk to her room. I chain her collar to the pole, put cuffs on her arms above the elbows and strap them together, very tight and close. She groans. I’m sure it hurts. I want it to hurt… I lead her around the room listening to her heels clicking. The Fredericks pumps are cute, erotic, can’t wait until the fetish pumps arrive. Five, six inch heels. Wow! She’ll wear them and if I like I’ll buy ballet boots for her and keep them on her. Oh wow! I’ll jack off then I’ll shave her pussy.

“Please, I’m hungry, can’t you feed me please!?”

“I just fed you. Shut up.”

“I’m still hungry.”

“Shortly. Shut up! I shave pussy.” I take her to the bondage table, lay her down, secure her to the table and get the shaving stuff. Shave pussy then check body. Shave all over.

Please! What are you doing?”

“Shaving you. What the hell’s it feel like?”

“Ooooow, I don’t need to be shaved.”

“Shut up girl, you’re mine. I do what I want.” Done, roll her over, refasten her, whack her!

“Yeowwww.”

“Did that hurt missy?”

“Yesssssss…. It hurt. You know damn well it hurt.”

“You’re getting sassy. I’m going to improve your manners.”

Take her to bondage bar. Bend her over, Link her collar top and bottom holding her head in place. Shackle her ankles to the supports. Strap her wrists to her waist. Arms already strapped at elbows. Put paper on floor, bucket under head, under ass. Attach clamps to her tits. Tell her what will happen.

“Missy, I’m going to teach you to be more respectful. You’re mine. Remember that.
I do anything I want to you. I‘m putting a bit gag on you so you won‘t bite your tongue off.”

I arrange the wiring, set the level, press the button.

“Yeeeeeahhhhh!” She stiffens, jerks, sags, breathes heavily, recovering.

Again but higher and longer. Push the button.

“Waaaaaaeeeeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” She faints, her body sags against its restraints. I wave smelling salts under her nose. She comes to. I unloosen one side of the gag. It falls away from her mouth.

“Well? How did you like that?”

“Oh my God, please no more no! Please”

“Will you behave? Will you as you’re told? More education?”

“No please. Anything!”

“I’m going to fuck you. OK?”

Silence.

“Answer.”

“I can’t stop you.”

“You don’t understand. You want me, you will want me to fuck you. You will beg
me to fuck you. You will suck my cock. You will beg me to let you suck my cock. Understand?”

Silence.

I replace the gag. She pleads, cries.

I push the button.

“Argheeeeooowww.”

“Do you understand now?” She nods yes. Her head is restrained but she nods.

“Remember that girl, anytime you don’t do as you’re told, you may be bent over the bar for more education. Do you understand?”

“Yeah.”

“Not too respectful. Try ‘Yes master, I understand’.”

“Uh hunh.”

Crack! A whip across the ass. A scream.

“Well?”

“Yes master, I understand.”

I’ll put her in bed now, give her some time to think. I need to jack off.

“Come girl, bed!”

“Oh please, don’t hurt me.”

“Shut up! Bed!”

Stretch her to the bed corners, on her back, still wearing bra, panties, heels. Lie on her, grind a little, she if she responds. No she’s lying like a lump, a dead lump. She needs help. Ho ho ho! Let’s see now, a vibrator, a rabbit. Show it up her cunt, keep it there ‘till she responds. If she resists too long, I’ll try the electrical treatment again. Then she’ll realize the pleasure is better than pain, a lot better.

Now, where’s that rabbit? Ah! Lube it, check the batteries. Good! Pull her panties down. Can’t go far, her legs are spread. OK, unfasten ankle, pull panties, fasten ankle again. Now she’s wide open. OK cunt, here it comes! Press it gently against her lips. Keep it there. Ah! She squirms. It’s getting to her. Now gently insert it into her vagina, her cunt. One inch. Two inches. Rotate it. Vibrate it. She’s breathing more heavily now! Yes, its getting to her. Keep shoving it in ‘till it bottoms. Turn up vibration, rotation to max. Watch her. Ah ha!, She’s reacting nicely -- squirming, moaning gasping. Unfasten an ankle, pull her panties up to hold the rabbit in her cunt. Unfasten the other ankle. Put leg irons on, roll her over, unfasten wrists, bring them behind her, cuff them. Lie on her, groin to ass, rub. I may cum that way!

“Please master, please take my blindfold off.”

“Hmmm! Maybe. First a new gag. This is a ring gag. It holds your mouth open so you can’t bite. When I let you suck my cock I don’t want you to bite me. You don’t want to bite me, do you?”

“Oh no!”

“Oh no what girl?”

“Oh no master, please!”

“You might bite me accidentally and I would have to punish you. You wouldn’t want me to put the clamps on your tits again? Hmmm?”

“Oh no master, please, that hurts terribly.”

“So you understand that the ring is for your protection.”

“Oh yes master.”

“Open wide.”

Place the ring in her mouth, strap it around her neck, buckle it. “Uncomfortable, isn’t it?”

“Nnngggn.”

“Kneel, wait.”

Help her kneel. Good. Mouth is at cock height. Jack-off into her mouth.

“Ughhhugh, cough, cough.”

Great, shot it right down her throat. “How was it girl?”

“Nnnggnngh.”

“Can’t talk huh?” I think I’ll take some shots of her kneeling with her mouth open. I’m putting my cock into her mouth a little. Let her run her tongue around it, get used to doing oral. Barely fits, tip only through the hole. She can tongue it. That was OK. We’ll do more later. This should be fun… I’ll tell her about piercing.

“Hey girl! Listen up! Guess what’s next. I’m going to pierce your nipples, put rings in them. Won’t that be nice?”

“Oh God! Please! No! NO! NO! How can you be so cruel? What have I done to hurt you?”

“Nothing. I need you! I want you! I have you! You’re mine! Get used to it.”


 
To Be Continued...
 

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Comments

Horror is right!

I'm not sure where you are going to take this story but right now it is intensely dark. From the keywords I'd say that you have darker places to take that poor girl before any possible rescue. I will read the next chapter to see where you are going with this, then decide whether I can bear to continue. Please do not lower the victim to the level of the monster holding her! If that happens, I won't care if the victim is rescued or not.

SuZie

Captured

The victim will continue to be an unwilling victim. She will be rescued.
Her captor is quite simply a nut. I hope you enjoy my first attempt at 'stream of consciousness' approach.

1st person depravity

laika's picture

Getting into the mind of a psychopath is one of the hardest things a writer can do. The ultimate in this for me (I'll admit I couldn't get past page 3 of AMERICAN PSYCHO...) was Jim Thompson's THE KILLER INSIDE ME. A scary, brilliant and even funny book, it inspired me to try, and I did it twice---short non t.g. stories---and felt awful and unclean and dyspeptic afterward. I could be wrong, but I hate to think what it would say about an author if it wasn't difficult. This was a really well done (I'm not sure about enjoyable...) trip into that territory, although it may have benefitted from a little stream of consciousness wandering away from the task of capturing, enslaving and torturing this poor woman. A little backstory hinting at how your protagonist got this way, what he thinks about various mundane things ..... And yes, there's no reason a transgendered person couldn't be a maniac, unfortunately. I dread the day something like that enters the media for real (had a scare there with that freaky Joanbenet murder confessor guy), because of course then we'll all be guilty in the public mind as well, just like in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, PSYCHO, DRESSED TO KILL, ad nauseum...
~~~hugs, Laika

.
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU

Sub standards?

Some of us aren't thinking about ethics or horror here.
I mean there are real things going on out there like this which are truly horrible and it's shocking to hold up reality to compare it with. But do people do that when they watch films? I don't think most people do, they get into it secure in the enjoyment of the fact they're safe, with their popcorn, in fantasy.
A lot of people here seem to get very jittery about dark fantasies. Or am I abnormal? Oh nooo!
Anyway, I'm getting quite a subbie buzz out of this and am most definitely *not* trying to let too much of a sense of reality in.

That means I like the story, quite a lot actually.
XX
AD

As a fantasy...

I have to admit it has some dark attraction, as long as I'm the one being controlled and humiliated. I do not identify with the perpetrator at all, but that's just me.

SuZie

Every Story has a Right to Be here

Gwen. No if's and's or but's! Just because you don't like them does not mean there are not some here that do. Remember that. If someone were to say that about your story, how would you feel?
 
 
Sephrena Lynn Miller
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com

Your right.

Sorry.

A matter of great shame for me.

While I was still emerging from my psychological "crysalis", having not yet learned who I was, I happened to read "Captured Caroline" a story that can still be found very easily. Years ago, I still had testosterone poisoning me, and in an extremely shameful way, I found the story physically arousing.

Years later, I find in the news that cases like hers actually do happen in reality, and far too often. Several years ago there was the case of the Coed who was kidnapped and taken to Central America and died as a sex slave. Then in the last few years, more and more cases have come into the public arena, the latest being Jaycee Dugard. Over the last months it has been driven into my own consciousness that stories like this are not some idle fantasy but some sick bastards actually try bring them into reality; supposing that the woman being assulted will eventually adapt and even enjoy it.

My own stories have content in them that includes the sexual and emotional slavery of my protagonist. I won't go all Freudian on you but some of them are simply a product of parts of my own experiences at the hands of those who were supposedly close to me, and should have protected me.

So, Janet, I apologize. I simply can not read those sorts of stories. It is all too real to me, and I do not expect you to begin stories of this sort with the perpetrator being fed to Aligators a piece at a time while they yet live.

Happily, the removal of the source of most of my Testosterone and subsequently living as a woman to include the cosmetic surgery, has almost totally eliminated my perverted desires. The only thing I long for now is to be held against some man's warm body and have him tell me it will be alright now.

Many Blessings

Khadijah