Daniel was a normal, active, healthy six year old boy until he snuck into his father's lab and accidentally went though his experimental transporter. Now Danielle is a normal, active, healthy six year old girl. Will Danny ever be the same? Will the world?

"Hi. You're from the magazine right? Do you want to take some pictures of me? I mean, like I'm really hot! See these boobs. Nice, huh? All mine. Not bad for a boy. Want to feel them? What? Forbes doesn't do pictures? No photographer? Bummer. You want me to tell you about my daddy, because he's the richest man in the world? Well doh! Did I tell you I'm really hot! Well, okay, so like I already told you. But I'm really hot. And rich. I mean Daddy did invent the transputer. Where'd the name come from? Like you think I don't know or something. Just because I'm blonde and easy -and really hot, I told you that right? - doesn't mean I'm like dumb. I can't believe they sent a guy."

"Okay, so like Daddy was into this Star Truck thing when he was a little boy. It was a TV show or movie or something about space travel. Well, he was always talking about this guy, Captain Krok, who was like into saving the universe and he had this like thing on his spaceship, I think it was called the Enterprenure or something. No, silly, that was the name of the spaceship. The thing was called a transporter. Well, this transporter beamed people around. Daddy was always saying, "Beam me up, Scotty." He was really into it. I'm into jewelry. Want to see the diamond in my belly button. It'll knock your eyes out. See, I have diamond earrings too. You know, I'm really hot. And rich. Okay, okay, I told you already. I mean if a girl doesn't blow her own horn. Well yes. I am horny, but that wasn't what I meant about blowing, although, once we get though this interview I'd, be happy to give you a hand with anything that happens to pop up. I can't believe they sent guy."

"Daddy's like a real genius. He's got three PhD.'s and he was the head of the Cybernetics Department at the university. Anyway, like Daddy always wanted to build one of those transporters. It was his pet project. He had been working on it since before I was born and for years afterwards. Mom told me that every night when he got home he would like disappear into his lab in the basement. I can't figure out how she distracted him long enough to stick his dick in her. Well, doh. She must have jumped him at least once, because she had me. Maybe even geniuses get laid once in a while. Are you a genius? Yeah, yeah, you're supposed to be interviewing me. What? Put my blouse back on, because it's distracting you. Well doh. I paid a lot for this bra. Whatever. I can't believe they sent a guy."

"Where was I? Oh, right, the Star Truck story. Okay, so anyway about the time I was like six, Daddy actually built one of them. The transporter thingy. But it was run by a computer program, so he called it a transportation computer or transputer for short. That's where the name comes from Mr. Smarty Pants. Thought I didn't know that, huh. Did I tell you that I'm really hot. And rich. And horny. I can't believe they sent a guy."

"Tell you my story? How come I'm a girl? Okay, but if I tell you, then you have to promise to help me check the law of gravity. You know, the law of gravity. Like, what goes up must come down. We'll see how long you dick stays up before it goes down. No, I don't have a one track mind. It has lots of tracks. They just all lead to my pussy when I'm with a guy. I mean, if things hadn't gone they way they did, I'd be the one with a dick who had his choice of hot chicks. Stick to the point? Okay, if you stick your point in me. Promise or I'm not talking. What? Move my hand? Oh, that hand. Sorry. Got ahead of myself. And you'll get some great head later. Well, it's not my fault they sent a guy and cocks are in short supply these days. I mean, like a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do to get laid once in a while."

"Anyway, Daddy got the transputer working when I was about six. Only like it didn't work the way it was supposed to work. He would take a mouse and put it on the analyzer. Oh right, you're a guy. You've never been though the transputer, obviously. The analyzer scans the mouse and records the data for reassembly at the other end. Then the disassembler would convert the mouse's molecular structure to digital signals and broadcast the signals to a reassembler at the other side of the lab. According to Daddy, distance didn't matter. If he could send it ten feet, he could just as easily send it ten miles or ten thousand miles. The problem was, when the mouse arrived it was jelly. Daddy went through lots and lots of mice trying to figure out what was wrong. Like no matter how he calibrated or reprogrammed the transputer, it was always the same. Mouse in, jelly out. He was really bummed out."

"Daddy's degrees were all in engineering. He figured that if there was nothing wrong with his equipment - like, after all, he's the genius that built the stuff, right? - the mice must be defective. I'm just a really hot blonde. Horny and rich too. Yes, I know I've already told you that. It never hurts for a girl to let a guy know he's in for a good time. You'll see. Well, that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I mean, like what could be defective about a mouse? But Daddy decided to talk to one of his genius buddies who was some kind of biologist. According to Daddy, they puzzled over the problem egghead to egghead."

"You need a blueprint," the guy finally said to him,

"What are you talking about?" Daddy said. "Mice don't come with blueprints."

"I know," said genius number two. "What I mean is that the receiving computer needs something to tell it how to put the pieces back together."

"It has a holographic image of the mouse," Daddy explained, "so all it has to do is reassemble it when it arrives to look like what it was when it left."

"Okay," said genius number two. "Think of it this way. You have a box with one hundred marbles. The marbles are different colors: white, black, red, blue, green and yellow."

"I'm just a hot blonde, so none of this makes any sense to me. I'm just telling you what Daddy told me."

"The marbles are in a particular pattern," the second genius went on. "You randomly move the marbles one by one to another box and want to recreate the pattern, but each marble has to go back to the exact position it was in when you started. If you use a picture, you can duplicate the pattern, but it is impossible to get each marble in exactly the same place that it was before. The pattern is right, but the location of each marble is different."

"I haven't a clue what it all means, but that is what he said."

"A mouse doesn't have a hundred cells," he went on. "It has billions and they all need to be in the correct relationship to one another biologically, not visually, or you just have a blob of protoplasm. Jelly to you."

"Like, I mean the other genius just told Daddy his transputer wouldn't ever work. He was like really pissed. Ten years worth of work in the toilet. He went home and was about to turn the pile of junk into a microwave oven when the phone rang. It was genius number two."

"Eureka," he shouted.

"Actually, I'm making that up. I have no idea what he said, but scientists always say that in the movies. I haven't a clue why, because it sounds really stupid, but what do I know? I'm just a really hot blonde. A really horny, really rich, really hot blonde who's going to get laid, right? You promised if I told you the story. Maybe you just better take you dick out and let me hold onto it, kind of like a down payment. Really, I won't lick it or stroke it or put it in my mouth or anything. I'll just hang onto it for safekeeping. No? You can't take notes when a girl is holding your dick? Really? How many girls have you had hold your dick while you take notes up to now? Hah, I thought so. You won't know till you've tried. Now, if you want to hear my good part, then I get to hold onto your good part. It's up to you. Mmmm. That's nice. Yes, I know I said I wouldn't play with it, but I just want to see. Hmmm, six, no seven inches, I'd say. Eight, you say? Well I could get a ruler. Anyway, I'm inspired, so here's the rest of the story."

"You were wrong," genius number two said to Daddy. "There is a blueprint for a mouse."

"I bet Daddy made a face, because he's a genius and he's never wrong."

"So where is it?" Daddy asked sarcastically.

"If you're going to be a wise ass," said the other genius, "then I'm not going to tell you."

"Actually, I'm making that up too. I have no idea what he said, but if he's a genius, he probably hates people making fun of him. I am getting to the point! Be patient. I know it's hard when I'm holding your dick. No, not hard to be patient, your dick is hard. Tee hee. Told you I'm really hot. Let's see."

"The blueprint is the DNA," said genius number two. "That is what determines what we will become. An elephant has baby elephants, not baby ostriches, because its DNA is a blueprint for an elephant. Got it?"

"Daddy was so excited he never even bothered to hang up the phone. Actually, I'm making that up too. Like I have no idea what he did, but it would be just like him. Where do I come in? Well, you'll come in about twenty minutes. I'll try to come at the same time. Oh, you mean in the story. Well, it took Daddy about six months to figure out how to read the DNA and send it as a carrier to the receiving computer. Like nobody told him that scientists had been trying to do that for years until he solved the problem. I think he got like the Know Bell Prize or something for that. Anyway, the first mouse went though perfectly. Happy and healthy. So did a dozen more mice. Daddy was ecstatic. He had really done it. Invented a transporter. At least for mice, but then who wanted to send mice around the world. Later on, Daddy confessed that our dog Daisy got a ride too. He wanted to see if it affected her mind, but she was the same old dog, piddled on the same spot on the rug and chewed up his slippers. I suspect she got more than one trip, but there was no problem."

"Anyway, by this time Mom had given up on Daddy. Like she spent most days working out at the gym and hanging out with her girlfriends, whose husbands were equally disinterested in their companionship. Little did Mom and her friends know what the future held or they would have been banging their brains out. Usually, she dragged me along, but, when Daddy was home, she left me. I mean how much trouble could a six year old get into? Well, actually a six year old boy can get into lots of trouble."

"One day, I decided to explore Daddy's lab. I snuck downstairs. As luck would have it or wouldn't have it, depending on how you look at it, Daddy had gone to whiz and I wandered into the lab. There was a panel with lots of buttons. I pushed a few and then I started across the floor to look at something that was rotating. I stood on the analyzer pad, just as the countdown I had triggered started the program. The next thing I knew, I was across the room, having the dubious honor of being the first person to use the transputer. When Daddy came back, he did a double take. There I was naked. It seems that my DNA didn't have the pattern for my clothes, so they were just a pile of dust. When I looked down, I noticed something was missing. Daddy, I asked him, what happened to my willy?"

"Daddy had mixed emotions. On the one hand, as a scientist, he was really excited about being able to try the transputer on a human. Apparently you just can't experiment on people willy nilly. Which is what happened to me. My willy was nilly. So that was the good news. Explaining to Mom why her son was missing his manhood was the downside. Daddy, how I going to make pee pee without a willy? I asked him with the logic of a six year old."

"Umm, I think we better take you to the hospital. I'm sure the doctors can make it better," was his overly optimistic answer.

"He took me upstairs, got me dressed and drove me to the Emergency Room."

"My son had an accident," Daddy lied to the admitting nurse. "He fell off his bike."

"Fill out this form," said the nurse. "The doctor will see him shortly."

"Daddy filled out the form: name, Daniel; sex, male; age, 6. He added the bike story and his concerns about my general health. I am sure he didn't want to explain to the doctor how I lost my dick any more than he did to Mom. After about fifteen minutes, a young woman doctor came out and brought us into the examining room. She looked over the form, did a thorough examination, which felt a lot different than I was used to, and then recommended that I have some x-rays, just as a precaution. About twenty minutes later, she came back."

"Your daughter is in excellent health," she said.

"Daddy looked stunned."

"My daughter?" he replied.

"Yes," said the doctor. "I can see you are very upset. On the admission form, you misspelled her name. You have 'Daniel' instead of 'Danielle.' You also checked off 'male' instead of 'female.'"

"Daddy wanted confirmation."

"Are you sure doctor? Nothing happened to his, umm her, umm, you know, umm, umm, reproductive organs."

"The doctor gave him a puzzled look."

"No, I did a pelvic and they are perfectly well developed and normal for a girl of her age. You know, this is usually a conversation we have with the girl's mother."

"Oh," said Daddy, thinking quickly. "Umm, her, umm mother is out of town visiting her, umm, her sister. Yes, umm, her sister. I was supposed to be umm, watching, umm, umm, Danny."

"Ah, well, she is just fine," the doctor reassured him.

"I hope you're getting all this, because so far I'm not getting any. I'm really hot, really rich and getting really, really, really horny. You had better be really, really good at defying the law of gravity with your dick. So, do you want to hear the end of the story or should we just get to sucking and fucking? I mean, your cock is beginning to leak cum. Let me just lick that little dribble on the tip. Just a lick. Mmmmm. Oh, alright. But if you blow your load, you can forget the rest of the story. Yeah, well, okay. Licking it isn't helping. Sorry. So, where was I? Oh, yeah, like Daddy rushed me over to genius number two's house. He explained what had happened and wanted to know if there was a way to put my boy parts back, before my mother came home and cut his off. Being a genius, the fact that my Daddy just turned his son into a girl did not interest him as much as the challenge of figuring out how it happened. Genius number two paced around his study."

"Eureka," he shouted.

"He really did say that this time."

"You used a strand of DNA as a blueprint, right?"

"Right," agreed Daddy.

"That's what you told me and it worked perfectly for the mice." "What sex were the mice?" genius number two asked.

"How should I know," Daddy said. "Who cares?"

"You should have cared," said genius number two, "because I bet they all came out female. You know what parthenogenesis is?"

"Someplace in Greece," I think.

"No," said the other genius, who apparently spent more time out of his lab, "that's the Parthenon."

"Anyway," Daddy argued, "Daisy, our dog went through the transputer without any problem."

"Of course she did," genius number two replied. "Daisy was already female."

"Parthenogenesis is the duplication of a creature from an unfertilized egg, genius number two went on. There is no sperm to provide a Y chromosome."

"I didn't know what sperm was then, but I do now and I better be getting some really, really soon."

"The egg only has an X chromosome," he went on, "so the creature created by parthenogenesis is always female. It is a clone of its mother."

"So what?" argued dad, "I didn't use an egg." "No," said genius number two, "but you used a single strand of DNA, which, is what is in an egg. Anyone who goes through your device will be reconstructed as though they were born female. It is not only a transporter. It is a transmuter."

"What if I change the analysis?" questioned Daddy.

"It won't work," said genius number two. "If you try to duplicate a strand of DNA that produces a Y chromosome to create a male, you will end up with a double Y creature that will have severe defects, if it survives at all. No, I'm afraid that only genetic women can use your device and any man who uses it will end up like Danielle, I mean Daniel."

"Daddy took me home. Mom was waiting."

"Where have you two been?" she asked him. "And why does Danny look funny?"

"Honey," said Daddy, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is my transputer works. It will probably make us very rich. Very, very rich."

"Mom's eyes lit up. Very rich was good. Very, very rich was better. Like I am sure she was already planning a trip to Tiffany's."

Seizing the moment, Daddy explained, "the bad news is that Danny went through the transputer by accident and it turned him into a girl."

"Mom hadn't quite focused."

"Now that you mention it, he does look more feminine. Is it permanent?"

"No, Honey," continued Daddy, "not just looks like a girl. He is a girl. A real girl, with girl insides and he will be able to have babies."

"Daddy finally had Mom's attention."

"You mean like he was born a girl?"

"Yes, he is a real girl."

"Can you change him back?"

"No, I'm afraid he will always be a girl."

"Are you sure," asked Mom.

"Very sure," said Daddy.

"Well," Mom said dreamily, probably thinking about a new Mercedes, "you know, I always wanted a daughter. And if we're rich, we can go shopping together and buy beautiful clothes and get our hair done and have manicures. Won't that be ever so much fun, sweetheart? Mother and daughter."

"All things considered, she took it really well. And now I am going to insist on my taking it really well."

Reporter's notes for article:

1. Once it was proven that that people, at least women, could safely travel instantly to anywhere, business changed forever. A woman executive could have a breakfast meeting in New York, a conference in Los Angeles, lunch in Paris, meet a prospective customer in Hong Kong, stop off in Bombay for dinner, check on a project in Australia and be back home in Chicago by midnight. No jet lag and no lost time. Male executives couldn't compete and boards of directors were getting rid of them. Rather than give up their huge salaries and benefits, they decided to fight fire with fire by using the transputers, with the inevitable result. After the first few did it, the rest had no choice. There is no longer any major company anywhere in the world that is not run predominantly by women. Since women now run the world's economy, gender discrimination has ended.

2. The number of remaining men became so perilously low that all of the major industrial nations passed laws prohibiting anyone under the age of 25, those in their prime reproductive years, from using the transputer and they must deposit sperm in a federal bank before they are eligible. Considering that the need for instant travel was trickling down to the younger male junior executives, who found their new maternal instinct irresistible and men to knock them up in short supply, the government had to pass strict laws about using their own stored sperm for self-impregnation. The expression, "Go fuck yourself!" took on a new meaning. It was no longer an insult. It was a crime.

3. Married men set off in the morning and, after attending a meeting in another state or foreign country, returned to a lesbian relationship with their wives that night, ending the controversy over same sex marriages.

Reporter's notes for self:

1. Don't let anyone hold your dick during the interview. It really is distracting.

2. Bring flowers, candy and lots of condoms for date with Danielle Saturday. She is really hot, really rich and really, really, really horny.