Don is a bit of a geek. But his intelligence was matched by his kind heart, and his flat mate and friend Steve appreciates his help in his university course work.

Don is a little confused as to why Steve and two other friends want him to join them of a motor cycle tour of France in the summer holidays, but he is pleased to be asked, and goes along. On their first stop, a cool group is playing at a night club, but it is a couples only evening, and Don is persuaded to become Donna for one evening, just so the four friends can see the show.

But no one expected to find Donna still there on the following morning.

In fact, Don never returned. And Donna was anything but a Geek!

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Viewing Note: This story should be viewed with the Edwardian Script ITC font installed on your Windows platform in the c:/Windows/Fonts directory. Microsoft Word installs this font automatically.

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Tanya has a new website where she will display her latest works first and then to BigCloset TopShelf a few weeks later is here at Tanya Allan's Tales .
Tanya's Book Shop where she is selling her works in book form is at http://tanyaallan.authorshaunt.com/shop.php . Please Visit!

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The Legal Stuff: It's What I Want  © 2009 Tanya Allan
 
This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically. Any adaptation of the whole or part of the material for broadcast by radio, TV, or for stage plays or film, is the right of the author unless negotiated through legal contract. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose. Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author.
 
This work is fictitious, and any similarities to any persons, alive or dead, are purely coincidental. Mention is made of persons in public life only for the purposes of realism, and for that reason alone. Certain licence is taken in respect of medical procedures, terms and conditions, and the author does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge.
 
The author accepts the right of the individual to hold his/her (or whatever) own political, religious and social views, and there is no intention to deliberately offend anyone. If you wish to take offence, that is your problem.
 
This is only a story, and it contains adult material, which includes sex and intimate descriptive details pertaining to genitalia. If this is likely to offend, then don’t read it.
 
 
Chapter 3
 
 
To say I was stunned into silence was an understatement. I was completely gobsmacked, so my first reaction was to laugh, but he was serious. Mark laughed, but stopped when Jenny looked sharply at him.

“You want me to play opposite Craig Howard?” I asked, incredulously. For Craig was a big star, not perhaps as well known as Matt Damon, but still one of the best.

“Yeah, subject to a screen test, have you a problem with that?”

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.

“Now, I’m aware that you haven’t an agent, and you aren’t even a member of Equity, so we would have to sort that out. I’ll arrange a contract, and I will pay you whatever we were going to pay Madeline, as we won’t need to employ another singer to dub over your voice.”

I sat there stunned.

Steve passed across a little package, wrapped in silver paper.

“Happy birthday,” he said.

I stared vacantly at him.

“Huh?”

“You’re twenty today, remember?”

I smiled, but then had a terrible thought. My little present forgotten for the moment, I immediately thought of my mother.

“I’d better phone my mother,” I said.

“Here, use my cell phone,” said David.

I dialled my home and my heart raced as I waited. I hoped that my father wouldn’t answer. I went out of the café for some privacy.

“Hello?” said my mother’s voice, I almost wept with relief.

“Hello Mum.”

“Don. How lovely. Happy Birthday dear.”

“Thanks.”

“Where are you?”

“Monte Carlo,” I said.

“How nice, is the weather nice?”

“Lovely thanks.”

“Are you having fun?”

“It’s brilliant.”

“So, who is with you?”

“My house mates, Mark, Steve and Jenny.”

“What, only one girl?”

“Yes and no, Mum,” I said.

“What is it, is something the matter?” she asked.

“Everything is brilliant. Look I can’t really explain on the phone, but something weird has happened to me, and I have changed a little since you last saw me. But I’m very happy, so I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“Don, your voice is very odd, what is it, what has happened?”

“Mum, do you remember once telling me how if I had been a daughter, then Dad would have been nicer to me?”

“Yes, but that was years ago, and I was very silly to have said such a thing.”

“No, you weren’t. It seems that we might get the chance to find out if you were right.”

“Oh my God, you haven’t had a sex change?”

“Mother, I didn’t need one, I was a girl all along. I just had some defective genetic growth, which gave me the appearance of being male. But it has all cleared up, so I’m now a perfectly normal girl.”

“Don, you're not making any sense.”

“Mum, my name is Donna now, and I’m a normal girl. I want you to believe me when I tell you that I’m happy for the first time in my life.”

“Oh God, I'm so confused.”

I felt frustrated and exasperated.

“You think you’re confused, you try having it happen to you. Look, I’m staying in a hotel in Monaco, I have a great boyfriend, and his father is a movie producer. I have just been offered a small part in a movie, so my life is going from good to better. But I need you to say nothing to Dad.”

“Oh my God, he’ll kill you.”

“No he won’t, because he won’t know, unless you tell him. And you won’t tell him, because you love me. Will you mother?”

“I can’t tell him, he wouldn’t believe me anyway. I don’t believe it anyway. Oh Don, are you gay, is that what you are trying to say?”

“Mother, I’m not gay, I’m a normal, perfectly straight, fertile female, who was wrongly gendered at birth. Oh, and my name is Donna. When I come home, I’ll correct the mistakes with the doctor and the registration people. You’ll eventually see your daughter conceive and bear your grandchildren.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

“You, you’re a girl?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“Really?”

“Yes Mum.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, really, I don’t. All I know is that I’m very happy, and it’s brilliant.”

“What about your university degree?”

“What about it?”

“Are you going to complete it?”

“I don’t know, possibly.”

“This is all very difficult.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“Was it painful?”

“What?”

“Any of it?”

“Not really, I had a little discomfort when I ovulated for the first time.”

“You ovulated?”

“Yes, it’s what we girls do, remember?”

“Really ovulated?”

“Yes, I imagine I’ll have the curse soon too.”

There was silence.

“Mum?”

“Sorry, I still can’t quite believe this.”

“I know, and I did say I couldn’t really explain this on the phone.”

“Donna?”

I was so pleased she used my name. Tears came to my eyes.

“Yes Mum?”

“Just know I love you, and I’m so proud of you, whatever happens.”

That was it, I just cried and had to say goodbye, but she was crying too. I crumpled where I was and sat on the wall and wept.

A pair of familiar strong arms encircled me.

“It’s okay, babe,” said Steve.

I leaned against him and sobbed my heart out.

I was still holding his gift to me, unopened.

I opened it, to find a super little ring with a single big diamond set in it. It was so pretty, I wept some more. He took it from my hands, slipping it onto my left ring finger.

I looked up at him.

“Will you, eventually?”

I nodded and he kissed me. I started to laugh.

“What?” he said.

“I think I’d better wait to tell my mum that I have just got engaged to the most gorgeous bloke in the world.”

We sat there for a while, as I tried to get it together again. He sat holding me, as it just made me feel better.

“She didn’t believe me to start. She thought I was trying to tell her I was gay.”

“Oh,” said Steve.

“But she called me Donna at the end, and said she loved me regardless.”

The others came out of the café and walked over to us. Mark looked at Steve.

“Bad?”

“Not really, just heavy,” he said.

David was frowning.

“She has a problem with her father. Don’t ask, Dad, just leave it,” Steve said.

We returned to the hotel, so I went to the ladies and repaired my streaky mascara. Jenny came too and gave me a hug.

“Happy birthday, Donna,” she said. “You look a lot older than twenty.”

“Thanks Jen, I’m in a right state. I feel about fifty, what with everything I’ve been through.” I said, and we both laughed.

“Is this job offer for real?” she asked.

“I don’t know. God, Jen what do I do?”

“Take it, as you don’t get a chance like this more than once a lifetime.”

She noticed my ring.

“Bloody hell, Donna, he hasn’t?”

I nodded, smiling as we both looked at the diamond sparkle in the lights.

She shook her head.

“You two, you deserve each other.”

She gave me another hug.

The men were already seated in the very plush dining room, but when we entered, boy, did we enter. We were the youngest in the room, by about twenty years, so we were naked as far as the jewellery situation was concerned, yet every man in the room watched us as we walked across the room. I felt like a million dollars and I knew that Jenny looked gorgeous as well.

All the guys stood as we approached, and a waiter appeared and pulled the chairs back for each of us.

I noticed that there were three extra places at the table, and frowned. But then I heard an American voice.

“Hey there, David, sorry we’re late.”

I turned and saw three men approaching. One was Craig Howard but I didn’t recognise the others.

“Craig, glad you could make it,” David said, shaking the tall American’s hand.

“Okay, Craig, this little lady is Donna, she’s the singer I told you about. She has agreed to take the part of Monique. That there is my son, Stephen, he and Donna got engaged today. The lovely redhead is Jenny, and the hulk in the corner is Mark. All these kids are at University together.

“Guys, this is Craig Howard, Jerry Calder and Mike Newman. Jerry and Mike are part of the production team,” David explained.

Craig sat down next to me.

“So, have you done any acting?”

“Nineteen years worth,” I said, and Steve looked sharply at me.

“Sorry?”

“A little. But only college productions.”

“But you’re a singer, right?”

“I suppose you could call me a singer songwriter. But again, I’ve yet to hit the big time.”

“Well, you may get your chance. I understand that they are jacking up a sound and screen test for tomorrow?”

“Then you know more than me.”

He laughed, as the waiter appeared and we had to order. I was the only one who spoke fluent French, so ended up having to ask the poor waiter what was in everything. Americans were just so fussy, or at least these three were.

It was a very good meal, but I almost preferred the bread and cheese we had at some of the campsites. Simple was often so much better.

My life was becoming rather complicated, so I was sorely tempted to tell David, ‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ but I chickened out. I was curious to see how far I’d get before they sussed me as a complete fraud.

We retired at about eleven, when David said he would send a car for me at eight thirty. I told him that the four of us would be coming, as moral support, to which he laughingly agreed.

Steve closed the bedroom door, and I looked at this enormous bed. He wrapped his arms around me, giving me a hug from behind.

“You’ve gone very quiet,” he said.

“A lot has happened. I get the impression that things are getting out of control.”

“Dad was absolutely stunned by your singing.”

“Obviously. What did you tell him?”

“Just that you were my girlfriend, and I love you.”

I turned and looked at him. It wasn’t the first time that either of us had mentioned the ‘L’ word, but somehow, it meant more now.

“You do?”

“Of course. I have since I first saw you two years ago.”

I started to cry.

“Hey, what’s that for?” he said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t. I didn’t know it myself, until that first time Donna appeared.”

I looked at him, realising why I was his friend, why I did his work for him, and why I liked being with him.

“I love you too,” I said.

He kissed me.

“I suppose I always have, but, like you, I didn’t know it,” I said.

“Look at us, a couple of gay boys.”

“Speak for yourself, you’re the only boy here,” I said, and he kissed me again.

“Sorry, I’m a one girl guy, and I have her in my arms right now.”

“Just as well. I love you so much. I need you so much.”

“I need you more, who the hell will do my essays if you weren’t around?”

He gently undressed me, and we went to bed. He was so gentle with me that night that I cried with joy. We slept holding each other tight.
 

*          *          *
 
I was up at seven thirty and in the shower before Steve was even awake. I then woke him up, so he showered as I worked out what to wear. Eventually I dressed in a skirt and pretty top, with comfortable shoes with heels. I wanted to look smart, but not prissy, and casual without looking scruffy. I was careful with make up, thinking that they would probably re-do that anyway.

We all met up in the dining room for breakfast, after which the car arrived dead on time. We were taken to a studio just outside Menton in France. David was there to greet us.

“Right, Donna, I’d like you to go with Clara to makeup, and the rest of you, go and grab a cup of coffee. She won’t be long.”

Clara was a French girl, who took me to her domain. It was almost clinical with the chairs and mirrors, lights and banks of makeup.

The first thing she did was to remove all my carefully applied make up, and then cleaned my pores completely.

“You have a lovely complexion. What product do you use?” she asked in very good English.

“Just soap and water,” I said.

“Really. That’s amazing. Some of my clients spend hundreds of Euros getting their complexion half as clear as yours.”

“Oh.”

She kept up a light banter for about an hour, and then announced that she was happy with the result.

I was amazed, I looked completely different, very sophisticated, she had accentuated my cheekbones to give me rather a Scandinavian look. I was actually very pleased, and said so.

“It’s so refreshing to have someone who likes my work. Usually they complain that I’ve made them look too old, or too cheap, or something. I was asked to make you look European and mysterious, so I did. Your facial features are not Mediterranean, so I went for the northern look.”

“It’s cool. I look Norwegian or something.”

“Thanks, that’s what I intended. A lot of the people from the Normandy region have Norse blood, and that is where you are supposed to be from.”

I was impressed, as she had researched this quite thoroughly.

A runner took me to the studio, where I was told that the first test would be a sound test. I was sat on a stool, given a guitar and told to sing anything I wanted to.

I tuned the guitar, and then sang my three songs. I was alone in a sound studio with a headset on being watched by eight people in the control box. I saw my friends and gave them a wave.

When I had finished, I was asked to play the first one again. It was the melancholy Left Behind, and I tried to put as much feeling into it as I could.

The musical director nodded and announced that he was more than happy. David grinned at me, giving me the thumbs up sign.

I took off the headset and left the guitar on the stool. I left the studio, and met up with them all in the control box.

They played back the songs, which were digitally enhanced and fed through the complex system. I was astounded.

“Is that me?” I asked.

“Sounds good,” said John, the music director.

Good? It sounded fantastic, but it was somebody else’s voice.

“David, we need to arrange permission from the composer,” said John.

David smiled.

“You’re standing next to her,” he said, and John turned and looked at me.

“You wrote those?”

“Afraid so.”

“Okay. We need to sort out permission. If you want, I can arrange a recording contract, you retain Copyright, and we will undertake recording and distribution of musical material. If I’m right, you should do very well out of it.”

I looked at David, as this was all beyond me.

“I think I need an agent who can advise me,” I said, and both men laughed.

“Look, we won’t cheat you. I’ll set up two contracts, one for your music and one for your acting. They will be completely separate, and then you can check them with an agent or a lawyer, if you want. The important thing will be that you retain copyright of your own material. Okay?”

I nodded.

I was taken to another sound stage, met an assistant director and given a short script. It was a piece of dialogue from the movie, so I had to adopt a French accent. It was set in a bar, where the hero, Jake Barnes, was chatting me up, just as someone took a shot at me through the window. I had to go from a sultry bar singer, to a scared girl with killers after her.

I read through the script, and Craig Howard walked through the door. I hadn’t realised he would actually be playing his part on the screen test. But then I realised that he probably had it in his contract that I had to be acceptable for him to play next to.

The director came in and David introduced me to him. He was a grumpy man, giving little encouragement away.

“Okay, Donna. Ready?”

I nodded, putting the script down.

A man with a clapperboard came in front of the camera, and I nearly got the giggles when he made the announcement: -

“Quiet on the set. Donna Armitage. Screen test One. Take one.

We were off!

I switched Donna off, and became Monique. I forgot about the three cameras, I forgot about the people watching and tried to believe it was real. I thought in French, so my English came out with a perfect accent. I pretended that it was Steve with me in the bar, so the flirty bit went well. Then, someone made a noise of a gun, and I just threw myself on the floor.

I pretended that my father was arriving, and the terror was very real. I could hear the tremor in my voice, and swore under my breath in French. I got to the end of the part, and heard the word, “Cut.”

Craig pulled me to my feet.

“Hey, you lied to me, you're a swell actress,” he said. “You’ll be just right for the part. You look great, and I heard the song, beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I managed to stammer.

I sat down, as the whole experience had left me drained.

“David, you bastard. You told me she had never acted before. Don’t do that again,” said the director. He walked over to me, with a smile, and shook my hand.

“Donna that was perfect. I doubt that bloody Madeline Masters would have done better than that. Well done! We will see you next week when we start your scenes,” he then turned and walked off.

David was delighted, and came bouncing over to me, my friends were all full of praise.

“You sure surprised me, you said you had never acted,” David said.

“No, I said I had hardly ever acted.”

“Never mind, that was really good. I’ve even managed to get your friends in as extras in the bar scenes. They look as if they have had experience hanging around in bars. Particularly my son, he looks like a deranged alcoholic!” he said, and we all laughed.
 

*          *          *
 
The week passed in a daze. We spent most of it either by the pool, or on the beach. We were told that we could stay at the hotel for as long as we wanted, but to be honest, it was almost too posh for us. But, once in, we were hooked, and we came to take the luxury for granted.

I spent one day with the wardrobe department, being measured for all the clothes they wanted me to wear. On the Friday we donned our leathers, took off for Italy, and spent the day at the market at the ancient town of Ventimelia.

Jenny and I bought lots of cheap jewellery and clothes. There were loads of street traders in Italy, trying to sell obviously fake designer labelled goods. We avoided them and had a great time. It was brilliant; the guys bought some clothes, and silly stuff like water pistols and glow-in-the-dark dildos. But it was nice to be out of the rarefied atmosphere of Monaco. We had a picnic lunch of cheap wine and bread and local cheese. I lay back in the sun and relaxed. Steve was a little unsettled.

“Donna?”

“What, my love?”

“Does this mean you aren’t going back to Portsmouth?”

I looked at him, reached out and took his hand.

“Whatever happens, I will be with you. I want to finish my degree, even if I never need the bloody thing. At least I can say, “I did it.” Besides, who the hell will write your essays if I’m not there?”

He grinned.

“Don’t change, will you?”

“Oh, Steve, I have had enough changing for one lifetime, thank you very much.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know. I don’t want to, but I will probably grow up a little. I’ve been a kid for a long time, and am in a grown up world now. But you know how to bring me back down.”

He kissed me.

We watched, with interest, as the French police stopped everyone coming back into France. They searched cars and shredded any counterfeit goods in front of the shaken travellers, all of whom had bought the stuff in good faith. The French take their trade-mark goods very seriously
 

*          *          *
 
We started shooting on June the 21st, and it took until August the 20th to complete all my scenes. Although I was the main love interest, I was off camera for a heck of a lot of the film. Everything was done properly, in that I received my Equity card, and signed all my contracts, having spoken to the Equity Lawyer, who told me to sign immediately as it was rare for a newcomer to be offered such a good contract. David set up an account in my name with a bank in the UK, and in accordance with my instructions, he placed all my salary into an on-line account. That way, I could access my account by phone or computer, and I now had an account as Donna. It was really exciting for me.

I was out by about a week when I predicted I’d get the curse. Five weeks to the day since I experienced those pains, I had my first period. It wasn’t much, but I found it exciting, as it meant that I was now a fully functioning female. I’m sure those who have experienced it for years will say I’m being silly, but to me, it meant everything. I was willing to put up with slight inconvenience to be who I now was.

The second one was different, and I almost wished I could change back. I flooded for three days and felt like shit. I was moody and miserable. Jenny teased me rotten, and to my delight, on my last day, she started.

The shooting ground on, but it was all so disjointed, I had no concept of the plot from the shooting schedule.

We had two sex scenes, one just after he saved my life, and one near the end of the movie. I was asked what I felt about nudity. I shrugged. I had no problem with it.

The first scene was in a hay barn, and it involved showing my tits only. We had to simulate having sex and, although I found Craig quite attractive, the twenty on-lookers put me off, and I had to close my eyes and think of Steve. I must have done all right, as we managed only two takes on that scene.

The other sex scene was in a bedroom, for which we were both naked, and half-covered by a sheet. I had a brief full frontal shot, and then we had to simulate sex. Craig wore a condom, “just in case of seepage,” he said with a smile.

Well, luckily Steve wasn’t there, because not a lot of simulation went on. There was a sheet conveniently placed over us, covering our bits, but after a bit of pretend rubbing up and down, I felt him rise to the occasion and slip inside me.

My eyes must have widened in surprise, for he looked apologetic, but we were in mid scene, so I just kept going with the oohs and aahs, and clawed at his back. My acting went out of the window, for my pleasure was not simulated at all, I went wild, and he responded in kind. He brought me to orgasm, as the onlookers made it even more erotic, if anything. I lost it then and he went along for the ride, eventually climaxing inside me, and we collapsed in a heap.

“Cut! Excellent, that’s a wrap!”

I grinned, as I knew that neither of us was capable of repeating that performance. They permitted us some privacy to dress, which was fortunate, as we had some cleaning up to do as well.

Craig looked guiltily at me. “Hey, that was amazing.”

“Yeah, it was,” I replied.

He looked awkward, and I felt a little guilt as well.

“Look, you are a lovely guy, but it was work, okay. Just pretend we acted and nothing happened. I have no right on you, and you have nothing on me. Deal?”

He smiled, holding his hand out. I shook it.

“No one will believe we just pretended that.”

“Why not, if we tell them, who’s to know?”

“We do. And half the crew must have had an idea.”

“So?”

“Don’t you care?”

“If this was sold as a porno movie, it wouldn’t sell, no one gets to see the meaty bits, we just grunted and kissed with a sheet over the interesting parts. You played with my tits, a bit roughly, if you don’t mind me saying so, and that’s it, we finished in a sweaty heap, job done. Everyone gets the idea that we fucked, and that’s what we were meant to do, who the hell cares if we fucked for real or not?”

“Your boyfriend, for one.”

“Steve? Maybe, but if I tell the truth he will be fine.”

“You’ll tell him?”

“If he asks, but he won’t ask.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he is too nice. Look, he isn’t stupid, he knows how sexual I am, and that there is no way that I can be naked next to any man like you and not get turned on. He also knows that no man, unless he’s completely gay, would ever fail to respond to me when I am turned on.”

“I see,” he said.

“Have you someone?” I asked.

“Yeah. There is a girl, she is kind of special, so I keep very quiet about her.”

“Ah,” I said, suddenly understanding about his qualms.

He smiled.

“You don’t want her to find out.”

“That’s it,” he admitted, with a smile.

“Then I will not say anything to anyone. I promise. But, you know what they are like, the press will have us together like a shot.”

“Yeah, I know. But she’s used to that. But I can do without it coming from a different, believable source.”

“Okay, I’ll say nothing. But it was a good fuck, just so you know.”

“Thanks, I guess it was,” he said, shaking his head, so I left him to finish dressing.
 

*          *          *
 
The last task was to record my songs, and then film the nightclub performances. Once that was done, I was at a loose end. David came to see me as I was in wardrobe, and he gave me a hug.

“Donna, I can’t tell you how good you were, a real natural. I’ve been looking at the first rushes, and you were brilliant. You've undoubtedly saved the movie.”

I smiled, as I hadn’t thought I was that good. It had been fun, and I got to do lots of things that I would never have done before, but it was just a job at the end of the day.

The others were full of it, and they had only been extras. They had loved every minute, and even had some speaking parts written especially. The movie had the special effects sequences to be added later by the CGE department, and then it would take a couple of months to edit and prepare for release. They hoped to be able to release it for the Christmas holidays, so I put it to the back of my mind. The whole experience was so unreal as to be a dream.

My songs were far more exciting, as they told me that they were going to release the three songs I had written, along with six that I recorded composed by other artists, on an album, as a sort of pre-movie commercial ploy. The musical director, Howard, got his orchestra together, and I had to write out all my song music. That was hard, as they were only for a single guitar. Howard arranged it for his session musicians, and they recorded the songs, while I sang over the top. The album would be released in September, so I was very excited about that. They even shot a promotional video, which was great fun. I just wore very little and mimed the songs while sitting on bar stools, walking down a beach, lying in the surf with a soggy tee shirt, or on a motorcycle with just a man's leather jacket on and nothing else.
 

*          *          *
 
Once back at the hotel, the cast and crew got together for a farewell dinner for us, as we decided it was time to ride home.

It was a superb dinner, and I was presented with a set of diamond drop earrings by Craig, on behalf of the crew and cast. I almost cried, but managed to thank everyone. We then all went over the road to the Casino, and despite being under twenty-one, I was allowed in. No one told them.

I watched lots of very rich people lose a lot of money, and found it faintly idiotic. Steve took in a thousand Euros, and came out with eight hundred. I shook my head, foolish boy.

The next morning was our last in Monte Carlo. Packing my clothes proved rather a challenge, as I had bought rather a lot over the last two months. Jenny and I decided to look into sending some home by mail. I went down to the lobby to speak to reception, and got the fright of my life.

There standing at reception counter was my mother.

I looked around but could not see my father.

“Mother?” I said, and she turned and stared at me.

I was wearing a white skirt and red blouse, and the blouse showed my cleavage in all its glory. I had stockings on and high heels, so I was about 5’9” with the heels. My hair was long and luxurious, and I knew exactly how sexy I looked.

“Don-na?” she said, her voice wavering.

I walked over to her and gave her a hug, but she was holding herself up on me. I led her to a pair of chairs at the side, and sat her down.

“Is Dad with you?”

She shook her head, still staring at me.

“No, he's in America on business for a couple of weeks. So I thought I’d try to find you.”

“You knew where I was, I never hid that from you.”

“I know dear, but it was quite a thing for me to come out here by myself.”

“How did you get here?”

“I flew, and took a taxi.”

I nodded, perhaps she could take my clothes home with her, I thought with a smile.

She was looking at my breasts and face, trying to find any trace of her little boy, I assumed.

“Don is gone, Mum. I’m Donna, and Don will never be coming back.”

She nodded, vacantly.

“Well, how do you like your new daughter?” I asked.

“I didn’t know what to expect. Certainly not.. not this,” she stammered.

“Would you like a drink, or a coffee?”

“In a minute dear, perhaps.”

“So, what did you expect?”

“I don’t know. I had no idea. It’s been very difficult not telling your father. Fortunately, he has been very busy with a deal in America, so he has not been around much.”

“I’m ready to face him now,” I said.

“Are you dear?”

“Yes. He has bullied us both for too long. I’m not the same shy little boy that he used to push around and try to relive his own youth. I’m a big girl, and I can more than stand up for myself,” I said.

“I see,” she said, but it sounded so pathetic, I laughed. She would always say, ‘I see’, whenever anyone said anything she was powerless to deal with.

“Look, take some moments to let things sink in. I’ll get us a drink, what would you like?”

“Just a coffee, please dear.”

I waved at a passing waiter.

“Deux café au lait, s’il vous plait.”

“Oui Mam’selle Armitage.”

“So?”

“Dear?”

“What do you think?”

“You are certainly very pretty. And you seem to have a lot more confidence. Not at all what I imagined.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“You certainly don’t look like a boy.”

“Thanks, so I should think. Look, just please accept, that I’m not a boy. I never really was. But now I’m able to be the person I should have been at birth.”

“I always wanted a daughter, did you know that?”

“Yes, you told me, often.”

“Did I? That was naughty of me, I shouldn’t have. It’s probably all my fault.”

I took her hand, and she stared at my red varnished nails.

“Look, I am what I am, not because of what anyone said, but what my genes have told me to be. It’s what I want.”

The waiter brought our coffees.

As I poured the milk, she saw my ring on my left hand.

“So, you have someone already?” she said.

“Yes, he’s called Stephen Granger, and we are engaged to be married.”

“Oh my word. Does he know?”

“Know what, about Don?”

“Yes.”

“Of course, we lived together for the last two years.”

Her hands flew to her face as she drew the wrong conclusions.

“Oh Mummy, don’t be an arse. We live in the same house. We only became lovers a few weeks ago,” I said calmly.

“Oh dear Lord,” she said, and drank her coffee.

“You really are very pretty indeed,” she said, and I smiled.

“Thank you, I get my looks from my mother, but my obstinacy from my father.”

She actually smiled.

There was an awkward silence.

“So, now you’re here, what are you going to do?” I asked.

“I have no idea. It was a whim really.”

“You, a whim? That’s very out of character.”

“Don’t be cruel, I know your father has been very strong minded, but I do have my own strength, I’ve had to.”

“I’m sorry, I know, I’d be buggered if I’d have stayed with him all those years.”

“Donna, there’s no need to use such language.”

I laughed. “Good for you Mummy. I apologise.”

“What are you going to do next?” she asked.

“We’re planning to ride up through the Alps, and then home by the middle of next month. The next semester starts at the end of September.”

“Oh, you mean on those beastly motorbike things?”

“Yes mother, on those beastly motorbike things.”

“Oh.”

I smiled, as she was relaxing a little.

“Excuse me, Miss Armitage?”

I turned towards the new voice.

It was a young man, one of the studio aides.

“Hi, what?”

“Mr Granger was wondering if you would be willing to do a photo shoot, before you left?”

“What for?”

“Advance publicity release for the press.”

“When?”

“Now, if it convenient.”

“Look, my mother has just flown in, we haven’t seen each other in months, can’t it wait?”

“Donna, don’t be nasty, I can wait,” mother said.

I smiled.

“Okay, is it just me, or is Craig going to be here?”

“Just you, Miss. Mr Howard is doing his separately.”

I smiled, as there was less chance of nasty rumours getting out if we were not seen together.

“Bring your mother too, your fiancé is coming down from your room,” I was told.

Steve arrived, having put on a clean shirt and trousers.

“Hi babes. What’s up?” he said, giving me a kiss.

“Steve, meet my mum. Mum, this is the man I intend to marry, Stephen Granger.”

Steve stared at me and then my mother.

He stuck his hand out automatically, which she shook.

“Hi, this is a surprise,” he said, making a face at me. I had to laugh.

“Oh Steve, everything is fine. Dad is in the States, and she just wanted to come and see me.”

We went outside to pose by the fountain. There were three photographers, and they took several of me on my own, a few with me and Steve, me and Mum, and some of the three of us.

They finally announced that they had finished, so we went back into the hotel. Some eager tourists had obviously made some enquiries as to who we were, and I had to sign some autographs as an up and coming movie actress.

I took mother up to our rooms, where I introduced her to Jenny and Mark. Then I explained our clothing dilemma to her and she laughed.

“Oh, you girls, when will you learn?” she said. We bought a large suitcase, and put in what we didn’t need, and she agreed to take it home for us when she went.

We had lunch with her in the hotel dining room, and she was very quiet. Mind you, we were all on our best behaviour, so the swearing was cut almost completely. That is until Mark dropped a great dollop of ice cream into his lap, and said, “Fuck.”

Everyone stared at Mum, who looked round the table, at each of us in turn.

“What?” she said, and we just convulsed into laughter, even Mum, who had no idea why we were laughing.

“So, just how are you going to tell your old man?” Mark asked.

“I thought I’d ring him up and tell him outright. Because he'll see the press releases soon, and then the shit'll hit the fan,” I said.

“Donna, language!” said my mother, which started the laughter again.

“I’ll tell your father,” Mother announced.

“No Mum. I should do it.”

“You know he hates surprises?”

“Yeah, that’s why I have to do it.”

I took out my mobile phone, and keyed in his number. I would be about eight am in New York, so I should get him.

“Hello?”

“Hi Dad. It’s Donna, your daughter.”

“Who is this? Don is that you?”

“No Dad, Don is no more, he never was. My name is Donna, and I've always been a girl.”

“Who is this?” he started to bluster.

“For once in your selfish life will you listen and shut up,” I almost screamed, and the other diners looked round. I left the table, and mum joined me outside.

“Don?”

“No Dad, how many times do I have to say it? Don is dead, he is no more - he never was. My name is Donna. Due to a rare and strange genetic condition, I seemed to have male bits, and the doctors said that I was a boy. Well, they have all gone away, and believe it or not, and like it or not, I am your daughter. Mum is here with me, and so is my fiancé, and my friends from university. I will be going home soon, and my genetic condition will be noted and my legal gender changed officially.

“I thought it polite to inform you in advance, just so you can prepare yourself. I’d hate to embarrass you by springing a surprise onto you,” I said, the sarcasm creeping into my voice.

“Is this a joke?”

“No Dad, none of us are laughing.”

“Have you thought what this will do to me?” he said, and I felt my anger rise.

“You? YOU? Fuck you, you selfish bastard. When did you ever think about me? Or Mum? When did you ever put your sodding ego to one side and think about what either of us wanted or liked. My God. I wanted to tell you, to share something that happened in my life, and all you can think about is yourself. Well, Mister Sodding Armitage. Fuck you, fuck your ego, and if I never see you again, it will be too soon.”

I was about to hang up, when my mother took the phone from me.

“Gerald. Now you listen to me. How dare you treat your daughter like that.”

“Yes, she is your daughter, but you are so insensitive and selfish, I wonder why I have stayed with you for so long.”

“No, she is a beautiful girl, and very happy.”

“No, she is perfectly normal, and has a delightful young man. We are having lunch together as we speak.”

“Don’t be an insufferable arse. You stand to lose far more by saying things like that.”

“You know perfectly well that if that happens, you stand to lose a hell of a lot more than me.”

“I am not threatening you Gerald. I don’t have to. I know you put everything in my name for tax reasons, but I’ve seen a solicitor, and a financial adviser, so I know that as long as they are in my name, you have no power over them.”

“Gerald, as it happens, I know about the woman in Baltimore, and so you can kiss your precious money good bye, your beautiful new daughter goodbye, and me. Don’t bother coming home, you don’t live here anymore.”

She switched off the phone, and looked about ready to burst into tears.

“Mum….”

Mother held up one hand, struggling to control herself.

“That’s the other reason I came to find you. I found out he has been having an affair for the last two years, at least, and I’m considering divorcing him.”

It was my turn to be surprised.

“About bloody time, Mummy. You should have done that years ago,” I said, and she just smiled.

“I know dear, but I had you to worry about. I know that I don’t need to worry about you any more,” she said, looking at Steve and my other friends, still seated at the table. We went to join them.

“You’re in the very best of hands, and you have shown me that you are more than capable of looking after yourself. No, I also had to wait until I had that bastard exactly where I wanted him. He thought he was so clever, getting everything signed over to me so as to avoid paying taxes and evading excessive liability. Well, I’ve got rid of the lot, as I’ve sold everything, and put it where he will never find it. He is now penniless. Even the house is in my name.

“I found out his mistress’s name, as I had a private detective follow him. He photographed them together, and so I even have the copy of a hotel register in New York where they shared a room for a week. My lawyer has it all, so Gerald is being served divorce papers almost as we speak.”

I sat and stared at her. My old Mum. Never said boo to a goose, yet all these years she quietly put up with his infidelity, his philandering and his temper, and now she paid him back. She hit him where he really would feel it, his ego and his wallet. He had been screwed by the woman he took for granted for twenty-five years.

I went over to my mother, hugging her for all I was worth.

“I am so pleased for you. How do you feel?”

“Very sad, dear, I did love him, you know.”

“Oh Mummy, has it been so bad?”

“Not really. I always had you. My regret was that you were such a sad little child.”

“I’m not any more.”

“I can see that, and that’s why your phone call made me think about everything. I was so unhappy, and as you decided to take steps to change your life, so I decided to do something about mine.”

“Oh Mummy, I had no choice, as my body did all the changes, so I just had to go with it.”

“Yes, so you said, but what changed first, you or your body?”

“She did,” said Steve. The others had been so quiet, I had almost forgotten about them.

“She did?”

“Yeah. Donna arrived, and then she became the woman,” said Steve

“So, you did instigate the change,” she said to me.

“I suppose I may have done.”

“Well there you are then, mind over matter.”

I smiled.

“So, what happens now? Do you want me to come back with you?”

“No dear, you finish your trip. I’m going to stay with a friend who lives in Roquebrun for a few days, and then I shall fly home.”

“The least we can do is spend an afternoon shopping. It’s why mothers have daughters, isn’t it?” I said.

She smiled, giving me another hug.

We left the guys packing, and I took my mother shopping. I didn’t need any more clothes, so it was fun just looking. We bought each other little trinkets and walked arm-in-arm amongst the expensive shops and wealthy customers, just pretending that we were rich too.

We had some tea at a café, and she held my hand.

“I was wrong, Donna, when I said you were pretty,” she said.

“Oh?”

“You are a stunningly beautiful girl, and I am so proud of you.”

“Oh Mummy, you are wonderful. I know I’m very ordinary, really. But the joy of life inside me makes me far more beautiful than I truly am.”

“No, you have such a depth and strength of character, that you’ll never ever be ordinary.”

I smiled, but then she was biased.

“I’m just so sad that you never were allowed to be a little girl.”

“So am I, but I’m just content to be a big one.”

She smiled and squeezed my hand. We just sat together, not needing to say anything.

“I’m going to sell the house,” she announced.

“Good. Where will you move to?”

“I don’t know, anywhere apart from Wallingford. I think I’ll buy a flat in London, near the theatres and galleries. So I can do what I want to do for a change, without worrying about trains, parking or anything like that.”

“That sound good, then I can come and stay with you whenever I want.”

“Of course you can. Will you be home for Christmas?”

“Where is home, Mummy?”

“Wherever you are, my love,” she said, and I broke down into tears again.

“I’ll spend Christmas with you. I promise,” I said, and she cried too.

“I’m so glad, you’re all I have left now.”

We finished our tea and walked back to the hotel. She insisted on saying goodbye, giving me a hug before leaving in a taxi for her friend in Menton. The Studio arranged for the large suitcase to be taken to the airport, and would be waiting for her in a week’s time.

I watched the taxi drive out of sight, and went back into the hotel. David was seated in the lobby, obviously waiting for me. He saw I was quite sombre.

“Hi Donna. Steve told me about your father. I’m sorry.”

“Shit happens,” I said, and he chuckled.

“That’s what I like about you, you don’t let things get you down.”

“David, what do you want?”

He smiled. “You don’t take bullshit, either.”

“David.”

“Okay, I’ve just come to let you know that the initial payments have been made to your account. The remainder will be spread over the next twelve months, for tax reasons. Also, your album has already been produced, and will go on sale in the USA next week, and in the UK the week after. It’s an American Company, so they want first dibbs.”

“That’s sooner than they said.”

“There’s a reason.”

“Oh?”

“The studio like the movie so much, they are looking at a possible sequel. So, they want to release this one in November, and the other one perhaps for the same time next year. They think the album will act as a good precursor to the advertising push.”

“That will be good for Craig.”

“You misunderstand. They don’t want Craig, as he isn’t available in any case, they want you. The new female agent; your own movie.”

I stared at him.

“Me?”

“Yup, you.”

“Bloody hell. I didn’t think the movie was finished yet.”

“It isn’t, but I let them have a sneak preview, and it has the backing of the money men in America.”

I was stunned. What could I say? All my plans were getting mucked up completely. David wasn’t finished yet, either.

“They also want you to write and sing your own songs for the movie.”

“Bloody hell.”

“So?”

“Shit David, I don’t know. Should I?”

“You have to ask yourself, how often does a chance like this come about?”

“Not every day, I suppose,” I said, with a smile.

“You got that right, kid.”

“When do they want to shoot it?”

“When are you free?”

“Next June, after I have finished at Portsmouth.”

“What? You want to stay and do business studies?” he asked, surprised.

“Not really, but I have to write some essays for someone’s film studies assignments,” I said with a grin.

“Ah, so that’s how he managed to survive for so long.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t leave him. I happen to love him, you see.”

David smiled. “Then next June it is. I’ll have a contract drawn up. Who do you want as your love interest?”

“How about your son?”

He stared at me.

“You are kidding?”

“Sheen, Sutherland, Estavez, Minelli, Douglas, need I go on?”

He smiled. “I’ll give him a screen test, but no promises.”

“He has everything, the looks, the smile, the body, and the presence.”

“Can he act?”

“Can Schwarzenegger?”

“Okay, you win. But not one word, and only after he gets his degree, okay?”

“Deal,” I said, and we shook on it.

He then kissed my cheek and walked off, whistling.

I smiled and went up to the room.

Steve was just finishing doing up the straps on his rucksack. He was wearing shorts and a tee shirt, and his leathers were on his chair. He looked absolutely gorgeous.

“Hi, how’s your mum?”

“Pretty bloody good, considering,” I said.

He came over, and held me in his arms for a moment.

“Still staying at uni?”

“Of course, who’s going to do your essays if I don’t?”

He kissed me, and it was enough to lift my spirits again.

“My Dad has been bloody odd.”

“Oh yes, why?”

“He keeps hinting that you won’t want to go back to Portsmouth, now you’ve had the one break that will make you, you’ll move on. I told him that he could offer you the movie of a lifetime, and you would stay at uni, if not for yourself, but for me. He didn’t understand how much we mean to each other.”

“Then that’s his loss, isn’t it?” I said, looking up at him, waiting for him to kiss me. He smiled and obliged.

---

 
To Be Continued...