What I learned during my Summer Vacation

By Becky Dunbar
English Composition and Grammar I

It started like the usual summer fare; glad to be out of school for the summer, just hanging around with friends, the usual Summer Vacation stuff. I was luxuriating in the feeling of being away from school and not having to learn anything. Then I heard my Uncle Dave had tried to kill himself over the Fourth of July holiday; almost succeeded, too, but he, or should I say, she is doing better now and I will be referring to her in the feminine from this point on since she is my Aunt Dawn now.

A little background is in order here, I suppose. Aunt Dawn was the one person in the family who always had time to listen to you and anything you might need to talk about, didn't matter when or about what, she just listened, never judged. I guess that is what her wife, Aunt Allyce (pronounced uh-leece please, woe betide anyone calling her Alice), sees in her; her empathy and her kind soul. But, who listens to the listeners? Seems she was hurting but was afraid to let it out, even to her wife. It is something it would take a lot of courage to talk about, even to those you trust with your life- your parents, spouse, anyone.

She is transgendered.

It hurt to see her in the hospital, shunned by a few family members, and hearing some of the things said about her. Sure, a lot of the family was supportive, but you could tell they didn't understand and were afraid of it because of that. But, and here is where the rest of my summer vacation came in; I got the chance to know my aunt's bravery and courage that continuing to live and what it takes to keep going is all about. You see, she is not alone in the world, our country, our state, or our town. Not alone at all in our family even. You see, I found out more about myself, too, and could finally put a name to it.

I am transgendered too.

I have been hiding all these years, from my friends, my family, myself. I had been traveling down my aunt's path the last several years and knew her pain as if it were my own, because, well, it was my own. To those who knew me as Ben, I am the same person I was before, just better able to be myself and stop hiding the truth from everyone. I am finally able to stop lying to everyone, including myself. In addition, the guilt, fear, shame and pain is mostly controllable now.

I have had many conversations with Aunt Dawn and with several doctors, and have started transitioning and am going to try to keep a journal of the path this leads me down; I don't know if it will be less painful to those around me than the alternative would have been, but I can say it will not be easy. All I can ask for is your kindness and understanding. And maybe something else; the chance to be me without hate and violence. That's all I ask.

ps Miss Halfelven, is transgendered a verb? I am not sure if I used the right tense in this paper and could not find any definitive reference in our school library. Thank you :)