Mia dropped another shot, grimaced, then put the shot glass upside down on the table. She shook her head and let out a loud yelp. Tot laughed, then downed her own shot.

---

 
Chapter 8
 
 
Mia dropped another shot, grimaced, then put the shot glass upside down on the table. She shook her head and let out a loud yelp. Tot laughed, then downed her own shot.

“Good God!” Mia said loudly, then downed another shot. “Whew!!!!” she shook her head and smiled at Tot. “Tequilla will be the death of me, I fucking swear!!”

Tot laughed, then did her shot, making a horrible face and hissing through bared teeth. “Damn!” She Laughed. “To Death!!!”

Mia giggled loudly. “To death!!” she dropped another shot and shook it off. Both girls were giggling wildly as Cindy scooped up shot glasses from their table. Cindy was on the roller derby team with Tot, another of the Mistresses of Destruction...It helps to have contacts when you are under age.

“Anything else, girls?” Cindy said, smiling at the two girls lolling around on the table laughing. “Hey...keep it low key.” Cindy whispered. “Y'all are underage...remember?”

Mia looked up at her and mouthed “Sorry”, Tot followed suit. Both girls were having a hard time keeping the giggles from over taking them.

“I'm switching to beer, Tot.” Mia said, slurring her words a little. “Corona, Por Favor.”

Tot laughed. “You were always horrible at Spanish, Girl. I'll have the same.” Tot said, running most of the words together.

Mia leaned back in her chair grinning. She fumbled a cigarette out of her purse then sat there flicking her lighter over and over, trying to light it.

“Ok...We've got enough liquor in us....Give me the story...and soon.” Tot said, smiling. “Before I fucking pass out.”

“Ok...Ok.” Mia said, exhaling smoke as she spoke. “I'll give you the whole sordid tale.” Mia took a long pull from her Corona, then took a deep breath. “I got there about fifteen minutes late...”

Mia sat in her car about a block from her father's house. It was a really nice neighborhood, but one of those cookie cutter suburban travesties where every house looks pretty much exactly the same as all the others. She had pulled over and was finishing a cigarette, trying to get up the courage to go that last hundred yards or so to the house. She took a last drag then flicked the butt out the window and popped a piece of minty gum. A few seconds later she was getting out of the car. There were two cars in a the driveway, her dad's Escalade and a Lexus crossover thing she didn't recognize. Lydia's car.

She straightened her dress, checked her hair in the mirror and made sure she didn't have lipstick on her teeth. Then, she started the walk. Dead girl walking, she thought, which brought a huge smile to her face. Deep breath. Ring doorbell.

The door opened. Lydia. Lydia was about 5'3 and wearing flats, so Mia at 5'9 with three inch heels absolutely dwarfed her. Lydia looked up at her. There was no happiness in that expression, only mild annoyance, the kind of look you get when there's only one table left in the food court and someone else has left their trash on it. Which, Mia thought, is probably what she considers me, someone elses trash.

“Hi Lydia. Sorry I'm late...Got off work late.” Mia said, trying her best to kill her with kindness.

Lydia stared at her for a moment, her frown deepening. “Paul...Your so..daugh...”She stopped. “Mia is here.” Her eyes were hard as flint, staring up at mia. Mia's mood dipped even further.

There were heavy footsteps in the hall, then the door opened wider. Paul was standing there, smiling at Mia. “Hey honey.” he said, giving her a hug.” I was worried something happenend to you.”

Mia shook her head. “No. I just got off work late...had to go home and change clothes.”

“You look great. Very dressed up though...You going out afterwards?” he asked, leading her inside.

“Yeah...probably.” she said, looking around. The place was nice. It was a little more country antique style decorated than suited her taste, but hey it takes all kinds. “Nice digs, Dad.” Mia said. “Great job decorating, Lydia.”

Lydia's face strained into an almost smile. “Thanks. Dinner is getting cold.” She said. Mia noticed a look she gave her dad, but she also noticed the look he gave her. She almost laughed because its the same “Be good” look she had gotten from the man her whole life.

Yeah, Mia thought, this is going to be fun.

Mia followed her dad into the living room. Justin, her new little brother, well half brother, was playing on the floor. He was a little over a year old now and very cute. He looked up at Mia, smiled and cooed.

“Awwww....” Mia said. “He's adorable.” She said, looking at her dad. Mia knelt down next to him and he reached out and touched her on the leg, baby babbling the whole time.

“He likes you, Mia.” Paul said. “Look, Lydia...He likes his big sister.”

Lydia stood there for a second, then scooped the baby up and held him in her arms. “He needs a change, excuse me.” she said, exiting the living room and heading down the hall.

Mia looked over at her dad and whispered. “Hey...Are you sure i should be here...I mean she doesn't want me here.”

Paul shook his head. “NO, she's ok.” Paul touched her on the shoulder. “It'll be fine...she's just uncomfortable. “

Mia nodded. “Ok Dad.” She sniffed. “Smells good...What's cooking?”

“Lasagna.” He said grinning. “You know how much I love lasagna.”

Mia nodded. “Me too.”

“Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Water? Milk?” He smiled. “Apple juice?” That's about all we've got.

“Tea sounds good.” Mia said, looking at some of the decorations in the living room. Her dad headed for the kitchen to get them some drinks.

Lydia came out from the bedrooms and went straight into the kitchen. Mia couldn't hear what they were saying, but the two of them were talking. She walked over closer to the kitchen door so she could hear.

“Come on Lydia.” Pauld said. “Give her a chance.”

Mia heard Lydia scoff. “I can hardly stand to be in the same room with him...it's just...Wrong.”

Mia expected as much, but it still hurt a little to hear it.

“Baby, I'm sorry. I know how you feel...But Mia is my daughter and...” Paul started.

“No!” Lydia hissed. “He's your son!”

“Dammit Lydia...We've gone over this. I don't like it very much either, but I love Mia. I dont want to not be a part of her life...I've missed too much already.”

Mia smiled at that comment and it made her feel warm inside. She knew that Paul didn't understand her, but at least he was trying.

“Fine.” Lydia said, sounding more petulant than ever.

Mia hurried away from the door, thankful the plush carpet covered the clack of her heels. She stood nonchalantly by a buffet, pretending to examine the china displayed there.

“Tea for my girl.” Paul said, handing Mia the glass.

Mia smiled at him, then leaned around him to look at the kitchen door. “Thanks, dad...” She grimaced. “Look, if this isn't a good time or something, I can come back later.”

Paul frowned, then shook his head. “No baby...It's a good time...and from the looks of you, you need a good meal. God you are skinny.”

Mia laughed. “Well, it's not for lack of eating, Dad....Just lucky I guess.”

Paul laughed. “Yeah, you are...I keep putting it on right here, no matter what I do.” he said, rubbing his growin paunch.

Lydia came into the dining room and it was like a fun sponge had come into the room, sucking all joy out of both Paul and Mia. She put the baby in his high chair without a word, then turned and walked back into the kitchen.

Good lord, Mia thought, This is like torture. She looked at her Dad and actually felt sorry for him.

Paul stood there for a moment, then gestured to the table. “Sit, hon.”

Mia took her seat, gracefully sweeping her skirt under her and crossing her ankles. Best behavior, Mia thought. Paul sat down just as Lydia came into the room carrying a glass of iced tea for herself, and one for Paul. She sat down without a word. Mia smiled at her but it was like smiling at a wall, no repsonse whatsoever.

Paul grabbed a spoon, then Mia's plate and put a largish piece of lasagna on it, along with some salad and a piece of bread. Then he served Lydia, then himself. Mia waited until everyone had food on their plate then picked up her fork.

“We say the blessing before we eat in this house.” Lydia said, disdain practically dripping from her voice.

“Umm...Sorry.” Mia said, putting down her fork. She glanced over at her father, who had a sort of strained look on his face. They had never said a blessing at the table in her whole life, she thought, except at Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. They were good Episcopalians, and didn't go overboard with the whole thing.

Her father said the blessing. It wasn't the sort of prayer she was used to hearing either. It was sort of freeform and long, drawn out almost. It seemed like it would never end.

“Amen.” Paul said. Lydia echoed it, so Mia whispered Amen herself. She waited for her father to take a bite before she picked up her own fork.

“This is good.” Mia said, taking a bite of the Lasagna. Good was actually a stretch. It was more like OK, but she was trying to be polite. No where near as good as Mom's, she thought. Then it occurred to her that she might just be acting catty, so she tried to push the thought from her mind.

“So, Mia...how are you enjoying being out on your own?” Paul asked around a bite of Lasagna. Lydia rolled her eyes at the question then went back to feeding the baby.

Mia started telling him about the duplex and about her job.

“Someone actually hired you?” Lydia said, sounding incredulous.

“Umm...Yeah, I work at the Salon for my Mom.” Mia said, trying not to sound too annoyed at the question.

“Figures.” Lydia said, not bothering to look at her.

Paul looked at Lydia, then very quickly said. “How's your music going? School is starting soon...Are you ready?” He said, trying to change the subject.

Mia shook off Lydia's comment, then started telling her dad about all the pieces she had to learn for the orchestra. He also told her about the sidework she'd gotton playing a couple of weddings and art openings. It was hard not to acknowledge Lydia's childish sighs and eye rolling during the exchange. “I finished my final auditions for school and got second chair.” Mia said, beaming with pride at her father.

“only second chair?” Lydia said sarchastically. “Well, maybe next year you can get first.”

Mia was irritated at that comment. “Lydia...I'm a freshman. There are 15 Violin's in my section...Only two of us are Freshman and I got second chair...The first chair is a Senior who is going on to Juliard...I'll play second fiddle to that any day.” she tried to keep her voice even but was pretty sure she didn't succeed.

Paul jumped in quickly to defuse the situation. “I know, Mia. Second chair in the University orchestra is great. I'm really proud of you.” he said, smiling at her, genuine pride on his face.

Lydia just scoffed, tearing the afterglow of the comment away. Mia fiddled with her tongue piercing for a second, holding it between her teeth, something she often did when she was irritated. Paul changed the subject again, asking about what other classes she'd signed up for. She gave him the rundown, trying to ignore Lydia the whole time.

“...The other night, Robin and I went to go see a movie after he got off work.” Mia said, preparing to go into a descrption of the movie they'd seen, but was interrupted.

“Robin?” Paul asked. It was this innocent question that brought everything down.

“yeah, Robin....My boyfriend?” Mia said, her voice full of false exhasperation.

“Oh, my god.” Lydia said indignatly. “I was wondering how long it woud be before this little...jezzebell brought up his immoral, homosexual lifestyle!! Disgusting!!” Her voice dripped venom.

“Lydia!” Paul said, trying to stop her from fighting.

“I cannot believe you would even call this trash your son...much less accept him as your daughter. I don't want him talking his filth in my house!” She said, pointing her finger at Mia.

Paul just looked like a fish flopping on the floor of a boat.

Mia had put up with a lot tonite, but this was the last straw.

“I can't believe you would marry such a holy than thou harridan!” Mia said, tearing her gaze from Lydia and planting it on her father. “Who the fuck does she think she is?”

Paul, still looking stunned just kept looking between the two of them. He was in a pickle. Side with his daughter, or side with his wife. He was having a severe decision making disorder at the moment.

“don't you spout your filth at me, you harlot! Just look at you in your little sleezy dress, with your tacky tattoos and big fake breasts! You are like a charactature of a woman...Something you will never actually be, by the way, no matter what mutilations you perform on your body!” Lydia said, yelling at Mia, arms gesturing wildly.

Mia couldn't help it. It was completely on now. She pointed at Lydia. “don't go acting like your shit doesn't stink, miss homewrecker! You wan't to lecture me about morals, when you were running around with a married man? “ Mia scoffed at her. “And Don't lecture me about how I look. I can't help it if you are so repressed you can't bear to look at yourself naked!”

“Enough!” Paul shouted, silencing them both. He stood up.

“yeah, it is enough.” Mia said, throwing her napkin on the table. She stood up and scooped up her purse.

“Get out of here you freak.” Lydia said, standing up herself.

“Lydia, shut up!” Paul said, turning on her. Lydia started to get indignant, but Paul jut looked at her and she backed down.

Mia was already stalking across the dining room to leave. She stopped and turned to them both. “The lasagna was horrible...what, did you use dogfood instead of ground beef?” Mia said with a smirk, then turned and left.

Paul was right behind her, but didn't catch her until she'd already made it outside. He put his hand on her shoulder, which made her start. She shrugged and twisted away from him then turned to face him.

“I'm so sorry, Mia...” he said, unable to think of anything else to say.

“I....I can't believe she would say those things to me...” Mia said, fighting back tears. “I was trying to be so nice.”

Paul hugged her tight. “I know baby...I'm so sorry...she said she would be good and not start trouble.”

Mia pushed away from him and wiped her eyes. “Ok...It's done. You better get back in there and pick up the pieces or you are going to be sleeping outside.” Mia said, trying to get her composure back.

“Probably will anyway.” he said, looking back at the house as he heard the sound of dishes crashing in the kitchen.

“Bye dad.” Mia said, then started to turn away.

“Hey.” Paul said, hugging her again. “I love you baby...Ok?”

Mia nodded “I love you too dad.” She said, then gave him a kiss on the cheek and got in the car.

Mia didn't remember getting on the expressway. She sort of came too, crying and driving way too fast. She slowed down and wiped her eyes.

“...Then I picked up the phone. Called you, and here we are.” Mia said, dabbing at a tear with her napkin. Even the alcohol didn't numb her enough to tell the story without it hurting.

Tot was, for once, speechless. She stared at Mia for a second, dozens of different emotions playing across her face. “I'm...I'm sorry, Mia.” Tot said, barely above a whisper.

Mia shrugged, then laughed, trying to shake out of it. “It's ok..Shit happens. Stuff like this has been happening a lot more lately...The stars are just aligned to fuck me up right now.” Tot hugged her close then kisssed her one the cheek.

“Well...that's over now. Fuck it!” Tot said, holding up her hand. “I'm going to buy you another drink!!”

Mia laughed and the two of them proceeded to take shots of tequilla until neither of them actually remembered going home.

Chapter 9
 

Things really took off after than. The next month was a total blur for Mia. She spent a lot of time practicing violin, alone and with the orchestra. Being in the orchestra, she assumed, was a lot like being on a sports team. You gave up a good bit of your free time for the free ride you got at school. What time she had left was split between Robin and getting ready for school to start. She managed to get her back piece finished, and though it took a long time and hurt like the dickens, she thought it was worth it in the end.

Mia and Andrea had a couple of meetings at the University, discussing her status as a transgendered student and what that meant for the University and for Mia. It was boring, tedious at times, but everything was eventually worked out and Mia was confident it wouldn't cause any troubles. She attended a meeting for LGBT at the University Center, just to see what it was like. She enjoyed meeting the other students who had similar issues to her, but did feel a little out of place with them. She did enjoy the looks she got when she told them she was transgenderd. Most of them definitely didn't see that coming.

The night before the first day of classes, Mia stood in her room trying to decide what she was going to wear on her first day. She'd narrowed it down to two outfits. One was a summery dress from Pin Up Girl Clothing, black with white polka dots, and the other was a pair of retro capri jeans and a black top with little cherries on it. “Tot!” Mia yelled, still staring at the clothes.

Tot walked into the room, looking a little peturbed. “You rang?” Tot said, snickering.

Mia looked over her shoulder at Tot. “Help.” Mia said, pleadingly.

Tot laughed then looked at the two outfits. “ooohh....First day of school indecision. Do you go dressed up and set a standard, or go in stealthy to see what the other kids are wearing.” Tot said, her hands planted on her hips.

“Well...I'll make it easer. You only get one chance to make a first impression, my girl. Go for glamourous!” Tot said, exaggerating the word glamourous for effect.

Mia laughed. “The dress then.” She said, smiling at her best friend.

“Definately. Dressed to kill baby.” Tot said, then they gave each other a high five, barely touching hands.

Tot started to walk out, then turned. “Want a beer?”

Mia nodded, then started putting up her clothes. She walked out into the living room, meeting Tot. The two of them sat down on the couch and popped open their PBRs. “To College.” Mia said, holding up her bottle.

“To cosmetology school.” Tot said, returning the salute.

Both girls laughed. They chatted for a while, drank a few beers, smoked a few cigarettes, then finally decided to call it a night. Just as Mia was heading into her room, her phone rang.

“Moshi Moshi.” Mia said, picking up her phone.

“Hey baby.” Robin said. She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hey sweety.” Mia said, sitting down on the couch. She folded her legs up underneath her and started playing with her hair.

“I just wanted to wish my college girl good luck on her first day of school...and since school starts so early I figured I call now, cause I sure won't be up before your eight o clock class.' he said.

Mia laughed. “Thank you. I was just getting ready to call it a night. I'm glad you called, baby.”

They talked for a few minutes. Robin wasn't much for talking on the phone, so it was rather brief, but fulfilling.

Mia collapsed into bed. Tired. Nervous. Excited. Sleep didn't come easy, and morning came way too early.

Mia was up early, having slept little, but felt really energized and ready to go. She took a shower, shaved her legs, her pits, and washed her hair. She finished really quickly, so she had plenty of time to get ready. When she finished drying her hair, she noticed the smell of coffee and cigarettes coming from the living room. So, she followed her nose.

Tot was sitting on the couch. She smiled at Mia and gestured to the kitchen. Mia nodded and got herself a cup. “Mornin, Tot.” Mia said, plopping down on her easy chair.

“Yeah, yeah , yeah.” Tot said, cracking a smile. “You always were one of those morning people.”

Mia shrugged. “Actually, I'm just not the greatest sleeper.” she said, sipping her coffee.

“I slept like a rock...It was a nightmare to get up this morning. Damn, I just wanted to crawl back into bed.” Tot said, laughing.

“What time is your first class, Tot?” Mia said, lighting a cigarette.

Tot let her head roll back on the couch. “Ten...So I've got a few extra hours. I just wanted to get up and make you coffee on your first day.” she said, smiling. “you did it on my first day of Cosmetology school, and it would make me a total bitch not to do it for you on your first day of college.”

The two of them laughed, then Mia looked at her watch. “Shit. I gotta get moving. I still don't know what the parking is going to be like over there. Probably a nightmare.” Mia got up and headed into the bedroom.
Mia brushed out her hair then used her curling iron to put a little curl on the ends. She used a bump it to give her hair some really good height in the back, then sprayed her bangs to keep them perfectly straight. Mia hopped up and put on her dress. Tot was right, as always, and the swing dress looked fantastic. It showed her whole back, and thus her whole tattoo, whick loked awesome since it was colored. She swirled it around a little bit, then sat down at the vanity. Mia decided to go with moderate glam, against Tot's wishes. It took a Mia a little while to get the smoky cat's eye effect just right, but she was really happy when she finished. She topped it off with classic red lipstick and was quite happy with it.

Mia walked out into the living room. Tot looked up from the television and gave her a wolf whistle. “Look at you, baby!” Tot said, standing up. She gestured for Mia to turn around. “Very nice.”

Mia smiled at her and gave her a hug. “Thanks hon.” Mia said, scooping her cigarettes and keys off the table. She tucked them into her purse, then walked into the bedroom and grabbed her phone. She had to stop and mess with her hair in the mirror for a second, then she was back out into the living room. Mia picked up her messenger bag, checking it one last time to be sure her books and notebooks were inside.

“you've checked that five times already, Mia.” Tot said, curling back up on the couch.

Mia stuck her tongue out at her. “I know...I just don't want to forget anything.” Mia blew her a kiss. “Later Tot! Have fun at school.”

Tot watched as Mia bopped out the front door. She laughed then held up one finger. Then two fingers. Then three fingers. Mia opened the front door and stepped inside. Tot's laughing became uproarious now. Mia picked up her violin case, flipped off Tot then winked at her and flew back out the door.